Trump Mocks Media Reaction to ISIS Comments, 'Heroin Babies' Cause Panic, How the Olympics Chill Speech: A.M. Links

• 

  screenshot from CNN

  Trump mocked media Friday morning for taking seriously his statement that President Obama was the founder of ISIS. "Ratings challenged @CNN reports so seriously that I call President Obama (and Clinton) 'the founder' of ISIS, & MVP," Trump tweeted. "THEY DON'T GET SARCASM?"

• Free-speech and free-press advocates are fighting back against California's attempt to criminalize the publishing of undercover video footage of healthcare providers.
• Does the Olympics have "a chilling effect on small businesses' free speech" rights?
• It was only a matter of time: "heroin babies" are causing a panic.
• Is it wrong for a white college student to request only white roommates? What about when black college students only want to live with other people-of-color?
• "In over a half-century, no Democratic presidential candidate has carried white voters with a college degree," said Michelle Diggles, a senior political analyst with Third Way. But Hillary Clinton has been making in-roads with this group, who now favor her to Trump by an average of 8.7 percentage points.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Trump mocked media Friday morning for taking seriously his statement that President Obama was the founder of ISIS.

Ya been trolled!

[Brett L]

Its true, as a class most of them aren't smart enough to understand sarcasm. TV anchors only manage literacy out of desperation.

[Zeb]

I bet most of them get it just fine but pretend they don't when it suits them.

[Brett L]

Never attribute to duplicity that which can be explained by stupidity. Its like Occam's Razor for human behavior.

[Zeb]

Given the obvious biases of much of the press, I still say it's a good mix of the two.

[BiPolarMoment]

That's already a thing, it's called Hanlon's Razor.

[Bill Dalasio]

Actually, I don't think it's either.

Journalists aren't particularly bright. But, they're not particularly stupid, either.

They just live in a vacuum. Everyone they know goes to the same schools, reads the same books, live in the same neighborhoods, socialize in the same circles, talks to the same sources, and have roughly the same career trajectory. It should be little wonder they are pretty much uniform in their opinions.

[Zeb]

Maybe it's just me, because I don't really get outraged about stuff like crazyh things Trump says. But I have a hard time imagining that any of the outrage and hand-wringing about such things is genuine. Just seems like it's all an act to me.

[Bill Dalasio]

I doubt its an act. It's just in that circle, that's the behavior expected. And since everyone does it, everyone else does it.

[Zeb]

That sounds like an act to me. Though I guess it isn't necessarily conscious. But my main point was that it is done because it is the expected reaction.

[R C Dean]

Saw an Oscar Wilde quote that probably applies equally to sarcasm:

"Irony is lost on the stupid."

[Swiss Servator]

Trumprolled?

[Fist of Etiquette]

That doesn't work, thanks to Rick Astley.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You don't work, thanks to Rick Astley.

[Los Doyers]

It's true. Astley made off with his one good kidney.

[Swiss Servator]

*glowers*

I STILL HAVE ONE EXCELLENT KIDNEY, THANK YOU!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I CAN WORK WITH ONE KIDNEY

[Bee Tagger]

His favorite author is Just Kidding Rowling.

[Fist of Etiquette]

J.K. Trolling

[Rufus The Monocled]

Hello.

[UnCivilServant]

11 minutes late Rufus?

for shame

[Rufus The Monocled]

11 minutes late is good luck where I'm from.

[Elspeth Flashman]

That means you watched an episode of something on Cartoon Network in that time.

[TheZeitgeist]

At the DMV, they call it 'early.'

[Certified Public Asshat]

PL is back Rufus!

[Libertarian]

Trolled? I'm not convinced -- is he literally including Hugh Hewitt as part of the media?

[Chipwooder]

Ya been took! Ya been had! Ya been misled! Hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amuck!

[gaoxiaen]

Diddled.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

So... Trump doesn't think Obama and Clinton are responsible for ISIS?

[Cyto]

No, he's responding to the plethora of articles, news stories and opinion pieces that take down the straw man that Trump literally believes that Obama went over to the middle east and secretly got together a bunch of people to found ISIS.

His meaning was not at all ambiguous. Anyone pretending otherwise is either mendacious or self-deluded. His sarcasm was directed at their foreign policy and its consequences.

Why is it that I, as one who has ridiculed Trump at least since the 90's, am repeatedly being forced to defend him. C'mon people. The guy is an idiot. Can't people just let his stupid stand on its own? Why do we keep having attacks on Trump that are equal in stupidity to his own nonsense? Sometimes even surpassing it.

I'm starting to think the conspiracy nuts are right. Everyone is acting so stupid that it is hard to believe they are acting as they truly believe. It is as if someone started a bet in 1996 that they could make elections that are more ludicrous than fiction.

So we got Bush and Gore and hanging chads and malapropisms and lock boxes. But that was to serious. So then we got another round. And then McCain vs the Rorschach test. Then Rorschach test against "binders of women" in a 4 year long down cycle with nearly 100 million workers leaving the workforce. OK... That one was an absolute farce.

And here we are. With two completely undetectable candidates. If it was a movie I'd walk out.

[Banjos]

This. A thousand times this.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Of course his meaning wasn't ambiguous.

I'm asking what he said qualifies as "sarcasm."

[Cyto]

Sarcasm: the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

Their policies in the middle east, intended to mollify our detractors abroad while keeping defense contractors happy resulted in the formation and expansion of ISIS. Distilled down to "created ISIS" said in a mocking tone.

I'd say that qualifies.

[Cyto]

Of course, pretty much everything Trump says has a contemptuous tone to it... so I suppose it could be hard to discriminate sarcasm with him.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

I don't agree, nor do I care.

It's not really a strawman when Trump corrects Hugh Hewitt that he means Obama really is the founder of ISIS. The correction could be sarcasm, if you like. What ought to shame the media is that, not much later in that interview, he explains why he says it: because it gets the media talking. And they oblige.

Which is great for keeping his name in the air (what he wants, IMO), though doesn't seem to be great for his electoral chances (not what he wants, IMO).

[BertF]

Now what he needs to do is stop calling the media fools and talk to the people. Something like.....

"The media knew it was sarcasm. They may be dumb but they're not that dumb. They knew it. Folks, let me tell you, they knew it but they think the people of this country ARE that dumb and would believe them. So they tried to act like I was being factual when they knew I wasn't because THEY think the American people are DUMB. But I know the people of America are the smartest, GREATEST people on the planet. I know that the PEOPLE who heard me knew just what I was saying. I know the American people would know exactly what I meant........then again, the media, who knows, maybe they are that dumb."

Not crazy about the guy but I sure do hate Hillary and all she stands for.

[Bee Tagger]

Trump tweeted. "THEY DON'T GET SARCASM?"

Trump is breaking the 4th wall.

[Swiss Servator]

Did he borrow O!'s 7th dimension chess set.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's like when Colbert went to CBS.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Breaking my TV set when I throw things at it is not the same as breaking the 4th wall.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

But will his scheme to get a date with Kelly Kapowski succeed?

[Bee Tagger]

Is it wrong for a white college student to request only white roommates? What about when black college students only want to live with other people-of-color?

It must be exhausting caring about things like this.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Oooh, oooh, I've got this one! No, and no.

[Tonio]

As taxpayers it is in our interests to care about this for public colleges. I don't want my tax dollars to support segregated dorms. I feel less strongly about roomate preferences, even though legally that's a huge sticky trap. Part of the college experience used to be dealing with people different than you. At the end of the day you always have the choice to live in private, off-campus housing.

[UnCivilServant]

At the end of the day you always have the choice to live in private, off-campus housing.

I couldn't afford it until late in my university career. I could finance dorm space, but the off-campus housing would have required cash in hand I didn't have.

[Injun, as in from India]

As taxpayers it is in our interests to care about this for public colleges.

^THIS, Tonio.

He who pays the piper calls the tunes. If taxpayers fund colleges, this is obviously going to turn into a political fight.

[Bee Tagger]

This can be true while it can also be true that there is so much within one's own life and in society at large worth caring about that to begin caring about this as well seems exhausting.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Caring is for suckers!

[Private Chipperbot]

I had to live on campus as a freshman athlete and was paired with a theater major, so I'm pretty sure they try to match opposites to give you a flavor of being with someone with at least different interests.

[Tom Bombadil]

At my U, all of us athletes shared with other athletes, specifically, only with other athletes in the same sport.

Basketball guys shared with basketball, etc.

There's no generalization to be made, each school is obviously unique.

[OneOut]

At the football players dorm the food was superior to that served to the rank and file

[commodious warned u bucko]

iirc the posting was for an off-campus residence, advertised on the university's Facebook page.

[John]

I am with Tonio on that. If you can't handle being around people of another race, don't expect my tax dollars to subsidize your education.

[Tom Bombadil]

So, let me guess what happens in those schools that don't allow roommate choice.

A week into the term, you get a bunch of students requesting roommate changes/swaps which is approved because no one can be forced to live with someone they are not comfortable with.

Then you end up with the same living conditions you would have had if you just let students choose in the first place. Except you created conflict, distraction/disruption, extra admin work, etc.

[Tonio]

Meh. Even in the fairly homogenous colleges of yesteryear you always had people swapping out rooms for the first couple of weeks, particularly in the women's dorms. Randomly assign, or assign in admission order and let the kids sort it out. SLDs apply.

[Tom Bombadil]

"As taxpayers, it is in our interests to care about this for public colleges".

Even at a state U (subsidized), students pay a pretty big chuck of cash. I personally wasn't interested in what some taxpayer thought was the best "college experience" for me. I was there to get educated and get the best bang for my buck in the most efficient way possible. I didn't need any bullshit or distractions, and that very much included not letting me choose my preferred living situation.

[Tonio]

Um, except if you were going to a stat school then you were being subsidized by that taxpayer. You're welcome.

[Tom Bombadil]

"Um, except if you were going to a stat school then you were being subsidized by that taxpayer"

Wasn't that in my first sentence? I'm sure my U didn't annually survey the 10 million taxpayers in my state to find out what they all agreed was my "best college experience" so that the admin could dictate it to me.

Thanks for the subsidy, now let me get on with my education, which I hope is the whole point of the U.

[Bill Dalasio]

Part of the college experience used to be dealing with people different than you.

Sorry, but that's pretty much malarky. You're dealing with other people who got into the same college as you. Aside from some novel demographic considerations, you're pretty much dealing with people not altogether that different from you. And, frankly, "different from you" is profoundly overrated. Most people's adult lives tend to cluster to people who are profoundly similar.

[Tom Bombadil]

While I also disagree with the Tonio quote you cited,
I disagree with your conclusion too.
There can be vast differences between people "who got into the same college as you".
In any given college, just about anyone can get admitted provided they merit well academically.

Can you imagine be assigned as Keith Olbermann's or Rosie O'Donnell's roommate?

[Bill Dalasio]

Well, I doubt I'd have been Rosie O'Donnell's roommate.

But, let's take the example of Keith Olbermann. Gee, a middle class guy (mother taught preschool; father was a commercial architect) from the suburbs who was into baseball. Honestly, not a huge stretch. In terms of our life experiences leading up to college, they probably wouldn't be all that different.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

How about segregated classes?

[Free Society]

"This is especially true for students of color, who continue to face overwhelming and discriminatory obstacles within institutions of higher education."

Such as. I'm sure they name these obstacles, that are apparently numerous and indisputably valid. Really I want to know.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

212) I've mentioned before I live near George Mason University, and find the pulchritude of the student body(ies) to be disappointing. I remember the girls being far better looking when I went to college, and where my friends went to college, at places like Sewanee, UNC, MTSU, Vanderbilt, or NC State. But is it something about GMU, or more a reflection of the times? Maybe students today just spend too much time on their computers and not enough outside or at the gym.

On my recent vacation, I had occasion to drive around the campus of UNCW in Wilmington. Even though the campus was pretty sparsely populated for summer, I can happily report there was a high-percentage of good-looking students among those who were present. Girls and guys were tan and fit. Probably a good 80% of the students were generally decent, with at least a quarter being true hotties. (GMU probably runs about ? that rate on both measures.)

So I've answered one question?it's the location, not the era. But now for the second question: Why am I living near a college with such unattractive students?

[SugarFree]

You need to move.

[Brett L]

Because it doesn't belong to the SEC, nor is it in FL, TX or California?

[robc]

SEC doesnt matter. See, FSU and especially Clemson as examples.

[Brett L]

I was going to go through the whole SEC is the top conference, with the ACC, Big 12 and PAC10 (or whatever they are) having individual schools that could compete or even outright win, but I went for brevity.

[robc]

1. Auburn and Clemson (tie - which isnt a surprise since they are the exact same school. Clemson isn't called "Auburn with a lake" for nothing)
2. Ole Miss
3. Everyone else in the south

[robc]

Exception to #3: My school.

Considering we have no BA degrees though, we held our own.

[Brett L]

I'm not sure you're giving UCLA and USC their due here. But its fine. With the understanding that 3 is extremely high quality.

[robc]

I have never been in the state of California, so I can't fairly judge. And I have never been overly impressed by what I have seen from their fanbase when they are on the road.

[RBS]

The hot ones have better things to do in LA than travel to an away game.

[Cyto]

Having attended a good chunk of those schools, I can attest that the difference is shocking.

And the high concentration of hotties can create a reality distortion field. At UNC the ratio was 2:1 women:men. And the girls were generally above average anyway. (I ended up marrying a cheerleader who was dating football and basketball players. That's how slim the pickings were for the girls) Most of us guys had no idea that it wouldn't be like that in the real world.

Anyway, one weekend we made a road trip to Foxboro for the Boston College football game. Flutie's team annihilated us. But the 3 dumpy band girls we brought with us were the 3 hottest girls in the stadium, other than the UNC cheerleaders and equipment managers. Wow, did they get a lot of attention. We hung out in the BC student section for a while and the guys were climbing over each other just to wave at them. It was truly a stark contrast with the BC women in the crowd.

I have no idea how that works. It isn't just a question of makeup or tanning. Some schools are just a lot more homely. The trip to Penn State was legendary for how homely the girls were. Clemson, Auburn, FSU..... quite the opposite.

And of course the aforementioned UNC-W is legendary as a party school that is the destination of choice for hotties who look good in a bikini. Pretty much every hot girl I knew in high school that couldn't make it in to a top-line school had UNC-W as their top choice

[robc]

Virginia is no longer in the south.

[Tonio]

Well, certainly not that part of Virginia.

[Crusty Juggler]

I think the problem is you. Stop it.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

They have to catch me if they want me to hang.

[Crusty Juggler]

The young ladies you leer at do meet your high standard? My goodness. If anything you should be lamenting the vast popularity of leggings and yoga pants.

Get creative, young ladies! Some of us have great gawking expectations, and many of you are coming up short.

Vote for Trump! He will turn 6's into 8's!

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

Except for Lena Dunham, who won't rise above a 2. It has been decreed.

[gaoxiaen]

That's because she started with negative numbers.

[BigT]

Make America gape again!!

[Swiss Servator]

*loud applause*

[R C Dean]

Don't make me post links to pictures of Hillary's gape, again.

[Azathoth!!]

That's no 'gape'--it's her ventral ovipositor.

But it's the dorsal ovipositors that are the true horror, poised and ready for the connubial clustering, their moist, fleshy orifices are the thing that makes one desire nothing more than losing even the concept of sight.

[Tonio]

Does the Olympics have "a chilling effect on small businesses' free speech" rights?

Not the Olympics per se, but the fact that the US Government has given the USOC special legal status.

[Trials and Trippelations]

Maybe it's time to move to NC 😉

[Certified Public Asshat]

JATNAS likes to use whichever bathroom suits his needs at the time though.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Ambidextrous?

[lap83]

Why am I living near a college with such unattractive students?
White Perv Problems

[Libertarian]

To answer your question, I think it's GMU. I've always thought that the girls get prettier every year. And I don't think my opinion is all due to my getting older every year (tho' it helps.)

[Cyto]

Getting older completely alters your perception. 15 lbs overweight and a big nose would have been completely out of the question at 19. a couple decades later and it is hard to imagine what we could have been thinking.

[Krabappel]

I went to grad school at GMU (Arlington campus). The men weren't much to look at either.

[Rich]

Is it wrong for a white college student to request only white roommates?

No. Just illegal.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Does the Olympics have "a chilling effect on small businesses' free speech" rights?

If they wanted to have free speech, they should have sponsored the games.

[Libertarian]

This concern seems a bit tardy, seeing as the USA long ago invented "free speech zones."

[Lord Humungus]

Oregon man finds portable toilet filled with pot

The agency posted a photo on social media Wednesday, saying it's the largest seizure of pot the department has ever made.

Marijuana grows are common in southern Oregon, which has some of the nation's best conditions for outdoor cultivation.

Chief Ken Lewis said Thursday that police still don't know how the pot got there. He says it could be anything from a pick up point to a disgruntled citizen making a statement about all the marijuana grows.

Dude this is some shitty weed.

[Swiss Servator]

Dude, this a *narrowed gaze*

[straffinrun]

He should've added *ducks*

[BigT]

Dude, shit or get off the pot!

[Cyto]

Hey, man.... you're smokin' Labrador!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

True story: When I was in college, the pothead down the hall took a huge, toilet-clogging dump and then left for class. The RA had to use a shovel to break it up so it would flush down the toilet.

[Krabappel]

"You can make sangria in the terlet."

[Tom Bombadil]

"Chief Ken Lewis said Thursday that police still don't know how the pot got there. He says it could be anything from a pick up point to a disgruntled citizen making a statement about all the marijuana grows."

Chief Ken thinks it is possible there is a citizen so disgruntled about the the marijuana growers that he/she acquires enough pot to fill a portable toilet in order to "make a statement".

/I'm not sure I agree 100% with your police work there, Lou.

[Stormy Dragon]

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet get high on pot.

[SugarFree]

Is it wrong for a white college student to request only white roommates? What about when black college students only want to live with other people-of-color?

No, as long as one set is called racist when the other set isn't.

[mashed potatoes]

The university should just get ahead of this and build separate but equal facilities

[Lord Humungus]

Bigfoot author seeks tips, information

The creature Tom Morris has studied for several decades has been described as a man-beast. Yellow-eyed, hairy, smelly. Morris is after evidence of Bigfoot, also known as Yeti, or Sasquatch.

In 1994, Morris put out a book called "California's Bigfoot/Sasquatch."

Morris describes Bigfoot as a stealthy and mostly nocturnal omnivore, massive but quick, who can observe people undetected but will scream to drive people from their territory.

Certainly, Morris said, pranksters have played hoaxes, faked tracks ? and there have been misidentifications. But he is convinced Bigfoot is real and notes that he has talked to police officers, Forest Service and Fish and Wildlife personnel about Bigfoot encounters who don't want publicity for fear of ridicule or jeopardizing their jobs.

[Swiss Servator]

But he is convinced Bigfoot is real and notes that he has talked to police officers, Forest Service and Fish and Wildlife personnel about Bigfoot encounters who don't want publicity for fear of ridicule or jeopardizing their jobs.

OR HAVE RETURN VISIT BY STEVE SMITH!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

This is also a problem with dudes who've been raped in prison. It's hard to address the problem because no one wants to admit it happened to them.

[Zeb]

Everyone knows that Yeti and Sasquatch are completely different.

[Rufus The Monocled]

Tom, here's my tip: Give it up.

[Tom Bombadil]

How does he know Bigfeet are yellow-eyed?

Can't they have a variety of eye colors like humans?

Has he seen so many Bigfeet that he's been able to determine they all have yellow eyes? And if so, why is he asking for help to find more?

[lafe.long]

How does he know Bigfeet are yellow-eyed?

+1 Scott Farkus

[Mainer2]

Scut Farkus

[Bee Tagger]

"In over a half-century, no Democratic presidential candidate has carried white voters with a college degree"

I can't believe the Democrats have nominated so many candidates lacking college degrees.

[Jerryskids]

You can't carry voters with a college degree, sheepskin isn't rigid enough. I'll bet you could carry a voter with a big spatula or something, though.

[Bee Tagger]

An excellent point.

[BigT]

"You can't carry voters with a college degree, sheepskin."

Sheepskins have been used as condoms, so obviously one can carry Democrats in them.

[UnCivilServant]

"sheepskin" condoms are actually made from intestine.

"sheepskin" vellum was actual skin until the modern age.

[Elspeth Flashman]

What about an African swallow?

[Tom Bombadil]

Well sure, it could grasp them by the husk.

[Zeb]

You could make a sling and carry voters. That's why there is a vice president.

[Lord at War]

I heard a "safety net" was sufficient for large quantities...

[Fist of Etiquette]

It was only a matter of time: "heroin babies" are causing a panic.

Heroin babies: Are they too chic?

[Tonio]

[golf clap]

And I feel appropriately guilty for finding Fist's comment funny.

[Zeb]

Haven't we already had several heroin baby panics?

And don't they basically cry a lot for a while and then get better?

[Guy Behind the Guy, Jr.]

They're so cute at that age, the clumsy way they try to tie off and such.

[gaoxiaen]

Then throw up after one beer.

[Tonio]

Yes, but most moral panics ultimately devolve into "the children" arguments.

Don't have any direct experience but I believe the physical symptoms of opiate withdrawal are pretty severe. At least one full day of screaming agony. That's pretty rough on anyone, but particularly a newborn; they don't have a lot of reserves of anything as an adult would. Also, at least the adults know what is going on and can foresee and end; all the infant knows is pain.

[A frilly pink thing]

I believe the physical symptoms of opiate withdrawal are pretty severe. At least one full day of screaming agony.

That's not true at all, it is directly comparable to a bad case of the flu.

[Tonio]

Thanks.

[OneOut]

Ive been through it.

The flu isnt even in the same league as cold turkey withdrawals for the first couple of days.

The nights are the worst for some reason.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

+1 Baby crawling across the ceiling.

[Zeb]

I'm not saying it's a great experience for the baby (of course). But babies don't form a lot of lasting memories either, so the pain and trauma passes and is forgotten pretty fast. Also, it seems like it must kind of suck to be a baby in any case or they wouldn't spend so much time crying.

[Cyto]

Opiates are the one class of drugs that physicians don't worry about for pregnant women. Apparently the effects of heroin don't impact the baby, even for addicts. The withdrawal can be managed and the babies recover quickly. At least that's what we were always told.

I can't imaging that something so well studied would have a bunch of papers come out in the last couple of years that completely overthrow the entire field.

[R C Dean]

Opiates are the one class of drugs that physicians don't worry about for pregnant women.

I'll be sure to pass that along to our OBs, because they seem rather concerned about the significant uptick in heroin babies we have been getting this year.

Even if there's no long-term damage (which our OBs do seem concerned about), I've sat in our NICU, which now has a special room just for babies going through withdrawal, and listened to them cry. That alone should be enough to break anyone of their complacency. Its non-stop, but they are so exhausted and weak it sounds more like a dying animal.

Yes, there is a serious uptick in heroin babies. Yes, heroin babies are a Very Bad Thing.

[Cyto]

But what of the long term effects? We were always told that there were none. (beyond collateral risks from malnourished mothers one would suppose)

Was that nonsense? Or was I (or they) conflating risks of medically supervised use of opiates during pregnancy with serious abuse by a hard core drug addict?

[Get To Da Chippah]

I read "Heroin babies" and hear the theme song to Muppet Babies in my head.

[Scotticus Finch]

When the world seems kinda weird
And you wish that you weren't therrrre
Just close your eyes and make believe
And you can be anywherrrrre!

[Bill Dalasio]

Not "Meet the Feebles"?

[invisible furry hand]

Let's over-complicate toast:

Toasteroid- First APP Controlled Smart Image Toaster

[robc]

Honestly, toasters have a problem. The settings seem to go:

bread, still bread, burnt, charcoal, worse than charcoal.

An actual toast setting would be nice.

[invisible furry hand]

Mine toasts in an acceptable fashion. Mind you, it only does it by being vaguely ridiculous

[Rich]

*slap!*

[invisible furry hand]

*slap!*

[Almanian's NOTHING TO SEE HERE]

*SLAP!!*

[WTF]

*SLAP!*

[Chip Woodier]

Good lord. A $100 toaster? It better give handjobs as well.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

$100 Australian is how much in real money?

[Elspeth Flashman]

I thought you were going to post this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec

[Tonio]

Until they figure out how to sense for doneness, and control for variables such as bread type, were going to be stuck with timer toasters.

[gaoxiaen]

Or maybe you could pay attention a little bit.

[Certified Public Asshat]

I have a $5 toaster and do not seem to have the same problems.

[Tonio]

Some people have very specific acceptability ranges for toast doneness. It is also possible that you have found the sweet spot setting on your toaster that meets your needs.

[BigT]

Dude, minimum wage is $7.25.

[Tom Bombadil]

"Honestly, toasters have a problem."

If you are unable to find a toaster or operate a toaster to make proper toast, the problem is not the toaster.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

"Yessss, let the hate flow through you. You'll soon be on the dark side of the toast!"

[Zeb]

I've never had that problem with a toaster. Except the antique one that got stuck on and caught fire.

[Swiss Servator]

When the 'Drink' button is pressed it makes an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject's taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject's metabolism, and then sends tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject's brain to see what is likely to be well received.

However, no-one knows quite why it does this because it then invariably delivers a cupful of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

[robc]

clap clap clap.

[mojoe]

Standing and clapping

[Tonio]

So, Switzy, this came up yesterday...I've been bestowing the narrowed gaze in your absence. You cool with that, bro?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Something about you both being fans of twinks.

/Narrow Gays

[Lord at War]

Shouldn't that be "heirless narrow gays"?

[Swiss Servator]

Absolutely. I have deputized you in the past!

[Domestic Dissident]

Looks like the Daily Beast (which several of Reason's so-called "libertarians" write for) is rapidly degenrating into the new Gawker or Deadspin.

Maybe this helps to explain why Gillespie was so upset with the outcome of the Hulk Hogan lawsuit!

[Crusty Juggler]

The Smelly Cheese.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

How Venezuela's Repressive Government Controls the Nation Through Hunger
...In addition, lines and rationing give the government the chance to extend Orwellian supervision. Retailers are being required to keep tabs on who buys what and how much. The government has installed fingerprint scanners in grocery and drug stores. The government has seized supplies from food firms and threatened to take over idle factories. The police often allow certain groups of citizens (many with ties to the ruling party) to control access to the lines or even mug people standing in line.

Lines and scarcity give the government the chance to engage in new forms of favoritism. One of the most important games in Venezuela is guessing which stores will have which products. Only the government, which controls food distribution, knows this information for sure. So one of the games it has started playing is to disclose information only to those who are pro-government.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Another form of favoritism has been the creation of CLAPs (Comit?s Locales de Abastecimiento y Producci?n). These are government-run "committees" that distribute groceries. Bags of groceries are given mostly to loyal groups. By the end of May, more than 9,000 CLAPS were operating. A recent poll suggests that at least 9 percent of Venezuelans are taking advantage of the CLAPs. CLAPs do nothing to end Venezuela's food crisis but they do wonders for the government: they force Venezuelans to demonstrate loyalty to Maduro regime in order to qualify for the handout.

But the most important consequence of lines and rationing has been the increase in military control. Military personnel have been deployed to monitor food lines and supermarkets. They are there with the pretext of protecting citizens from crime, but what they are most successful in doing is repressing any protest that might emerge....

[Rufus The Monocled]

To be hungry, is to be valiant for the greater good.

I think Bernie or Mao said this.

[PBR Streetgang]

They can afford fingerprint scanners with which to track folks, but cannot afford to import food to feed them?

[invisible furry hand]

The revolution must be preserved at all costs, even that of your starving kids

[Injun, as in from India]

Why do you NEED for more 1800 calories per day? You need to justify your need.

The fingerprint scanners are there to help make sure that no one can take more than what they can justify.

[PBR Streetgang]

Sadly, this is spot on.

[BigT]

"One of the most important games in Venezuela is guessing which stores will have which products"

The Supreme Soviet salutes you!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Man reveals his girlfriend IGNORED his marriage proposal because it wasn't 'extravagant' enough for her
...Unlike his girlfriend, Logan is not a fan of public proposals and chose somewhere much more remote: 'Where we had nature, the sound of waves crashing and just getting away from the city life was a good thing.

'I didn't hire any photographers because it wasn't worth it. The proposal itself was just about marrying her.

'Being with her. And I DID buy her the ring she wanted.

'She was very annoyed. She looked at me and said, "This is a horrible joke, Logan" then she started crying because I "ruined it" for her.

'Then she pretended the proposal didn't happen and now she's still talking about rings like I DIDN'T PROPOSE.'

Finishing off his Reddit post, Logan admitted 'I love her, but I don't know if I'm being a jerk by not meeting her expectations - or if she's being awful.'...

[Brett L]

"Man saved from horrible mistake"

[robc]

Except he hasnt figured that out yet.

[Tonio]

^These

[Swiss Servator]

DANGER! DANGER!

/Robbie the Robot

[Tonio]

Actually, the Lost in Space robot was B9 ("benign") and was designed by the same people who designed Robbie the Robot.

[VG Zaytsev]

Consider it a dodged bullet and GTFO.

[RBS]

She's being awful. My wife had a friend who made her boyfriend plan this elaborate engagement with photographers and her parents (but not his) and all sorts of other bullshit. They were married less than a year.

[invisible furry hand]

It's the usual way: the bigger the fuss, the shorter the marriage

[Tonio]

^This. There were some girls knew in college who spent their spare time obsessively planning their weddings. These girls weren't engaged and I suspect that if they ever did find some poor sucker to marry them that those unions were short and/or miserable.

[Injun, as in from India]

The pastor of a friend of mine told him and his fiancee: Don't focus on the wedding, focus on the marriage.

Words of pure wisdom.

[BiPolarMoment]

Was it Al Pastor?

[Tonio]

Boo!

[Krabappel]

+1 Pork and Pineapple Tacos

[Yusef Adama]

Inlaws spent 15k, I was pissed, but hey not my money. 29 years, same marriage, same Woman,
YMMV

[Libertarian]

So, who is it that we're supposed to blame here? Disney movie princesses? Coddling baby boomer parents?

[BigT]

I paid the entire $800 for our wedding reception, no engagement ring. 38+ years, 3 kids, 2 grandkids so far

[Mr. Flanders]

I love seeing old people use the internet.

[End Child Unemployment]

I learned this the hard way. Girlfriend started getting fussier and fussier about wanting a ring. There were some negative signs, but I loved her and she seemed to want to accomplish things with her life. Marriage lasted all of 1.5 years.

On the plus side, I had some small net worth (about 300k ish) built up before the marriage that she did not come after.

[Suthenboy]

Girls who do this are all about themselves and people who are all about themselves aren't good marriage material. Surprise!

[robc]

The cost of wedding inversely correlates with length of marriage too. Or at least correlates with divorce rate.

Want to stay hitched? Spend more on the honeymoon than the wedding.

[Chipwooder]

I believe that 100%. My wedding was somewhat sudden - it was when I was in the Marines. A month after we got engaged, I graduated my training school and got orders to Okinawa for a year, so we scrapped our plans for a bigger wedding in six months and just had a quick, small wedding within a couple of weeks. Immediate family and a few close friends in her living room, a very nice cake and some catered hors d'ouevres, a simple flower arrangement, presided over by a notary (which is a-OK in Florida!) All told, including her dress, it cost maybe $1000. Been married 13 years and happy as ever.

[tarran]

Ditch the bitch, Logan!

[Free Society]

He needs to have an abortion.

[Illocust]

What's weird is how on the original Reddit forum most of the highly rated posters actually think the guy is the one in the wrong. It's kind of fucked up. Also, reading around it, it seems like he's still planning on going through with the wedding. Moron.

[Krabappel]

Maybe Hillary's army of Correct the Record fembots are on team bridezilla.

[Stormy Dragon]

They both seem awful. She seems overly demanding, but on the other hand, he knew what kind of proposal she wanted, and instead of incorporating any elements of that he decided to do the polar opposite and is now surprised she's upset.

[Stormy Dragon]

e.g. she wanted to be proposed to in Europe, so he goes on a trip to Europe with her, then the week after they come home drives her to some redneck town near LA and propose there.

[Illocust]

It doesn't say it in the article, but in the Reddit thread he said he did actually discuss the fact that he didn't want to propose to her on their European trip and she was okay with that. The ocean and nature part is actually a thing for them too. Taking trips to scenic nature spots is something they do on trip or during normal life to get away from the city for a bit.

[Stormy Dragon]

I withdraw the objection then.

[Lord Humungus]

Marvel's new issue features Justin Trudeau as superhero

The variant cover of Marvel's August issue, Civil War II: Choosing Sides, will feature Justin as a Marvel hero along with Canadian superhero squad, Alpha Flight.

The 44-year-old is shown on the cover, sitting in a boxing ring, wearing a maple leaf tank top, red boxing gloves and black shorts.

Other superheroes on the cover include, Puck, Sasquatch, Aurora and Iron Man.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Ladies and gentlemen, our intellectual and moral betters.....

[VG Zaytsev]

Trudeau is a real life Handi-Man

[Just a thought not a sermon]

The author of this article apparently believes comic companies put out only one comic a month?

[straffinrun]

Alpha Flight. Beta stays.

[straffinrun]

Alpha Flight. Beta stays.

[Rufus The Monocled]

"Ram?n explains why he chose Justin Trudeau for the cover.
"He's a social icon, with a youthful demographic, and a contemporary outlook," Buzzfeed reports the cartoonist as saying.
He took inspiration from Trudeau's pictures to create his character.
"There's a particular twinkle in the PM's eye, and his smile is quite characteristic," he said."

On the origins of cults.

[Rufus The Monocled]

origin

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Eh, comics including real-life politicians is nothing new.

That being said, it seems like Canada took Obama as a challenge and is out to prove they can out-worship America any day at a game of worship the politician.

[Michael]

Can someone please tell me exactly what PM Zoolander here has actually accomplished to receive this level of adulation? I'm not really seeing anything particularly noteworthy, so this really boggles my mind..

[Rufus The Monocled]

Nothing.

I mean, absolutely fucking jack shit.

He has the name. That's about it. And the Liberal budget was filled with broken promises, excessive spending and a good dose of bull shit - especially for small business.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

"Because it's The Current Year!"

[ant1sthenes]

He has Blue Steel.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Does he have his Nobel Peace Prize yet?

[invisible furry hand]

Dear Jim,

I'd love to see Trump and Clinton playing on the oval office floor with their army toys in full battle.

So Jim paints it...

[SugarFree]

Jim has never accepted even one of my hundreds of suggestions. Jim is a coward.

[invisible furry hand]

Jim just understands the limits of his own ability

[Swiss Servator]

And the damage to his sanity if he did as SF asked...

[RBS]

I would love to see an illustrated version of the Warty Hugeman stories.

[SugarFree]

I've offered to let anyone who cared to illustrate them, or to collaborate on new ones together but no one seems interested.

[Lord Humungus]

A cartoon would be epic.

[SugarFree]

Warty wants Mastodon's Black Tongue as the theme song.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Trump should win that. Even though Skeletor is down, he's got a t-Rex, a tank and a fortified bunker. Hillary has air superiority but isn't utilizing it at all.

[Tonio]

Meh about that painting, but his Muppets knock off of Ralph Steadman's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas cover illustration is fantastic. Thanks!

[KDN]

You have attempted to access a site which has been deemed non-productive.
Access has been blocked and your attempt has been logged.

URL: jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/
Category: Other Adult Materials

CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!

[RBS]

And yet, you can access H&R.

[KDN]

My thoughts exactly.

I always giggle at the idle threat implied by the fact that MY ATTEMPT HAS BEEN LOGGED. As if anyone cares. Even when someone looks it's just a line in a report about aggregate attempts. A report written by me.

[R C Dean]

A report written by me.

+1 BWAHAhahaha

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

When you're IT, you set up your computer with a DHCP reservation or static IP and configure the filters to not filter your IP.

[The Fusionist]

Well, the program has a few bugs

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Yea, it's a spoof....
I'm Not Here to Make Friends, Except for Those Who Aren't A Threat to Me Sexually
...If you're a beautiful, nice girl looking to make a connection with me, you can go ahead and keep walking because I'm not buying what you're selling. Making friends with a conventionally attractive, charming woman is not what I came here to do. Thanks for the offer, but I'm going to go ahead and stick to my routine of only befriending men and the occasional quirky weirdo who is nice but objectively less attractive than me.

One too many times I've gone against my better judgment and made friends with a cool, beautiful girl, only for said girl to steal the heart of a man I am romantically interested in. Or at least they have that look like they're going to at any moment. It is for that reason that I must stress the harsh truth that if you are a sexual threat to me, your attempts to befriend me are going to fall on deaf ears. I do not need friends?unless you're not competitive with me, looks-wise....

[LynchPin1477]

Threesomes seem like an easy way to solve this problem. Just sayin'

[Swiss Servator]

*slow clap*

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Chinese Man Accidentally Gets Hemorrhoid Surgery While Waiting For Wife To Deliver Child

[Rich]

Ah, so!

[straffinrun]

*Slap* and *slap* for that.

[Swiss Servator]

Reminds me, did budget cuts at Reason catch up with the Friday Funnies?

[Crusty Juggler]

It was either Friday Funnies or comply the demands from Soave's hair.

[Crusty Juggler]

Comply *with*

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Sounds like an efficient use of his time.

[Libertarian]

Doctor: "Jesus Christ, nurse! That's the ugriest baby I've ever derivered!"

Nurse: "Rooks rike you can skip the episiotomy, too."

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is it wrong for a white college student to request only white roommates? What about when black college students only want to live with other people-of-color?

Segregation is the next big retro fad.

[Libertarian]

In a co-ed dorm, would it be considered creepy for a white guy to request a room on the floor with all the black chicks? (asking for a friend)

[Krabappel]

It's the only way we can prevent cultural appropriation.

[Lord Humungus]

Drug Lord's Life Of Luxury Behind Bars Revealed

Jarvis Chimenes Pavao - one of South America's most dangerous drug traffickers - was serving an eight-year sentence for money laundering at Tacumbu prison in Paraguay.

His surprising lifestyle was uncovered after a bomb was found inside the prison and police poured into the institution to investigate.

They found a three-room apartment complete with air conditioning, tiled walls, a DVD collection including a TV series about drug lord Pablo Escobar, a guitar, and several footballs.

In one cupboard police found six pairs of shoes, while in another were scores of T-shirts hanging on racks.

His lawyer Laura Acasuso said that corruption at the highest levels had allowed her client to live his luxury life.

[The Fusionist]

The lawyer also added that prison conditions for his client were actually harsher than indicated in sensationalist media reports.

"My client's wine wasn't always chilled at the proper temperature," said Acasuso, "and once they even served the wrong wine with the steak tartare."

[invisible furry hand]

Vee haff vays of making you marry

[Brett L]

"I want us to be like Adolf and Eva!"

[Elspeth Flashman]

Sounds reasonable to me, lol.

[Guy Behind the Guy, Jr.]

Thank you, ifh, for your post reminding me of this story from one year ago.

[invisible furry hand]

awful story, cool photo

[Rich]

"In over a half-century, no Democratic presidential candidate has carried white voters with a college degree," said Michelle Diggles, a senior political analyst with Third Way. But Hillary Clinton has been making in-roads with this group

, showing how much college has degenerated in 50 years.

[Crusty Juggler]

"That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm."

[Jerryskids]

Hewitt: Last night, you said the President was the founder of ISIS. I know what you meant. You meant that he created the vacuum, he lost the peace.

Trump: No, I meant he's the founder of ISIS. I do. He was the most valuable player. I give him the most valuable player award. I give her, too, by the way, Hillary Clinton.

Maybe Trump doesn't understand sarcasm. Nor irony nor hyperbole nor metaphor.

[John]

There is a very fine line between hyperbole and sarcasm that sometimes isn't there at all. What is "hyperbole" other than sarcastic exaggeration of the other side's position?

[Lord Humungus]

Security footage shows theft of rare Japanese trees from Canadian restaurant

Director of operations for the restaurant Devin Morrison told the CBC he found humor in the incident at first, even joking that they would not prosecute the dog, but still sought the return of the rare to find plants.

"I started laughing out loud at first. I've never seen anything like this. To see that little dog being dragged around was priceless," he said. "We had a very cool florist we worked with who drove to B.C. to pick those trees up. They're very difficult to find and very valuable."

The post spread on social media in the following days and Global News reported police found and arrested the man on Thursday after receiving tips from the public.

Operations manager Karen Kho said the trees were valued at about $700 each and were not returned "in the same form."

[Drake]

DOJ told the FBI not to investigate the Clinton Foundation. Nothing to see here....

http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/11/.....index.html

[Rich]

Again -- Shut down DOJ and the State Department until we find out what is going on.

[commodious warned u bucko]

Some of them I assume are good people.

[Drake]

Citations?

[Juvenile Bluster]

Phake skandull?

[Lee Genes]

The FBI's investigation into Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe and his tie to a Clinton Foundation donor was also raised during the meeting. DOJ said that probe could continue but declined to open a case on the foundation.

Poor Terry, he gets thrown to the wolves while his boss skates.

[Krabappel]

http://bit.ly/2bnqDu9

The New York-based probe is being led by Preet Bharara, the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York. Bharara's prosecutorial aggressiveness has resulted in a large number of convictions of banks, hedge funds and Wall Street insiders.

PREET! Go get her!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Secret Deal Among AGs to Prosecute Climate Change 'Deniers' Challenged in Court
By signing a "secrecy pact" with fellow Democrat attorneys general preparing to prosecute climate change skeptics, Rhode Island's top law enforcement officer jeopardized free speech rights and government transparency laws, according to two legal organizations that have taken him to court.

Rhode Island Attorney General Peter Kilmartin's tactics in supporting President Barack Obama's climate change policy violate state law guaranteeing access to public records, the two groups, Energy and Environment Legal Institute and Free Market Environmental Law Clinic, claim in their lawsuit.

If Kilmartin and the other attorneys general prevail in the deal to keep select details secret, the ordinary citizen will be the loser, Chris Horner, a leading critic of climate change orthodoxy, said.

"It will mean that they can create privilege for what are otherwise public records, even when shared with ideological activists and donors, so long as everyone who wants to keep their scheming secret agrees in advance," Horner told The Daily Signal....

[Suthenboy]

Everyone who voted for that chickenshit, tin-pot, dictator wannabe should go drink some lye.

And if you plan on voting for Cankles go shove a sharp stick up your ass. The first one that comes to mind is Suderman, you pinko cocksucker.

I might have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Not feeling very charitable.

A year from now we will be discussing the prosecution of wrongthinkers, war in Syria, a president that openly sells favors and nutless republicans along for the ride. Make sure you eat your daily requirement of broccoli. That is, if we can still discuss anything openly while a stacked SC oks first and second amendment violations.

Instead of more coffee I should just hit the vodka already.

[R C Dean]

Now, Suthen. Chill.

Most of that won't really break cover for more than a year.

[ant1sthenes]

It could be worse -- the President might say mean things about Mexicans and keep Muslims out of the country.

[commodious warned u bucko]

But no, it's those heterodox climate change deniers who need to be targeted with a RICO investigation.

Fucking hell, these people are losing it.

[commodious warned u bucko]

Also, the author looks like his photography just farted.

[LynchPin1477]

It's Friday, and my Give a Fuck meter is actually past the empty line.

[Tom Bombadil]

In that case, I'll Give a Fuck for both of us... but you owe me one.

[Lord at War]

Let's go for a "68"- you do me and I'll owe you one...

[Lord Humungus]

Sources: Twitter CEO Dick Costolo Secretly Censored Abusive Responses To President Obama

According to a former senior Twitter employee, Costolo ordered employees to deploy an algorithm (which was built in-house by feeding it thousands of examples of abuse and harassing tweets) that would filter out abusive language directed at Obama. Another source said the media partnerships team also manually censored tweets, noting that Twitter's public quality-filtering algorithms were inconsistent. Two sources told BuzzFeed News that this decision was kept from senior company employees for fear they would object to the decision.

According to sources, the decision upset some senior employees inside the company who strictly followed Twitter's long-standing commitment to unfettered free speech.

[VG Zaytsev]

Criticizing dear leader is treason, a capital crime. Costolo is just saving people from their own self destructive impulses. A true hero.

[Juvenile Bluster]

There are many people who'd like to see Thailand's lese majeste laws copied over here.

[Swiss Servator]

Well, if it is directed agaist someone with a (D) after their name...then criticism should be deemed HATE SPEECH!

[KDN]

According to sources, the decision upset some senior employees inside the company who strictly followed Twitter's long-standing commitment to unfettered free speech.

I think it's pretty obvious that "some senior employees" have absolutely no sway in the company.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Ten Minutes of CNN Cutting Off People Who Dare Criticize Hillary

[Drake]

Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.

- Iowahawk

[Rich]

The man is a National Treasure.

[PBR Streetgang]

He really is.

[Lord Humungus]

The Mayor Of Cannes Has Banned Burkinis On The Riviera's Beaches

The mayor of Cannes, David Lisnard, has banned burkinis ? full-body swimsuits with hoods ? from the French riviera town's beaches.

The ruling, signed off by the centre-right mayor, states: "Access to beaches and for swimming is banned to anyone who does not have (bathing apparel) which respects good customs and secularism.

"Beachwear which ostentatiously displays religious affiliation, when France and places of worship are currently the target of terrorist attacks, is liable to create risks of disrupting public order (crowds, scuffles etc) which it is necessary to prevent."

[LynchPin1477]

That really ought to help with the whole integration thing.

[Injun, as in from India]

Interesting legend from India from when Parsees fleeing Islamic persecution in Iran arrived in Gujarat.

The leader of the Parsees was summoned before the King, who presented him with a bowl filled to the brim with milk. The message was that we don't have room for any more people.

The Parsee leader replied by adding sugar to the milk and slowly stirring it, implying that the fleeing refugees would assimilate into the populace and enrich it.

And that did happen. The Tata family, nuclear scientist Dr. Bhabha, and Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw (who led India's victory in the 1971 war) were all Parsees.

The Parsees intended to fully assimilate and that they did. It remains to be seen what happens with the Islamic population of France.

[LynchPin1477]

It works both ways, though. People are unlikely to integrate if that means giving up things that are important to them.

[John]

It is just a cost benefit analysis. How important are those things and how painful is not integrating. Even if integrating means giving up things that are important to you, chances are you will integrate. Everyone won't if it is a really deeply help belief but most will.

[LynchPin1477]

As a practical observation, that's seems true enough. But in the process of making it painful and excluding some, you breed resentment, and when that festers it contributes to the problems we are seeing now.

[LynchPin1477]

Meanwhile, what's the cost benefit analysis of forcing people to give up traditions that are important to them? In the case of a burkah I just don't see the upside to a ban (even disregarding issues of individual liberty).

[Mr. Flanders]

I'm guessing the benefit has to do with the politician's standing with the citizens of France, not the immigrants.

[John]

Weren't the Parsees Zoroastrian? Muslims never assimilate as far as I can see.

[Injun, as in from India]

They do. All of my muslim friends growing up in India were just like every other kid. Some of them even drank alcohol.

But just a mile away, there were poor Muslim and Hindu neighborhoods and they had some serious issues with each other. IMHO it's education and wealth that makes the difference. Somehow they seem to go with secularization and greater tolerance.

[UnCivilServant]

An yet, in the west, there are a lot of well off muslims who turn Jihadi.

Odd.

[ant1sthenes]

It's been sort of a rising thing, though. 30 years ago, terrorist acts outside of Muslim territory were pretty rare and mostly directed at Jews and Israelis.

[ant1sthenes]

Muslim terrorist acts, that is.

[John]

And a lot have in Europe in fairness. A lot of it is whether they have access to the Koran in their native language. Show me a place where Muslims are not doing crazy shit as a rule, and I will bet you anything they have access to the Koran in their native language. In places like Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia the penalty for translating the Koran from Arabic is life in prison or death. So, no one has actually read the thing and only know what their imams tell them. When I was in Afghanistan my translator used to play a game where he would ask detainees who was Muhammad. These guys were from the total sticks in NW Pakistan and Afghanistan. And they would quite often answer "oh he is a guy who lives in Saudi Arabia". No shit. These guy only knew what their imams told them. In countries where the Koran is not translated Islam becomes a political religion where the Imams tell their charges whatever the people paying them want. Afghanistan fought the Soviets for 11 years and never once engaged in suicide bombing. It wasn't until the Saudis showed up and started paying the imams or replacing them with their own that suicide bombings started.

[LynchPin1477]

I'm legitimately curious what you would consider to be assimilation/integration? Would you consider orthodox Jews to be assimilated? I would, and yet the ones I know keep strict kosher, wear kippahs, send their kids to Jewish schools where they continue to learn and speak Hebrew, observe Jewish holidays, retain some distinctive cultural traditions, and hold some views on religion/family life that many would find fairly illiberal. I can point to Muslims I know who fit the same description.

[Chip Woodier]

I fail to see the Amish as integrated, yet they are great neighbors and rarely resort to beheading.

[R C Dean]

It remains to be seen what happens with the Islamic population of France.

I think we've got enough info to make a pretty solid guess.

People are unlikely to integrate if that means giving up things that are important to them.

Maybe so. If the the things that are important to them are barbaric relics incompatible with their new home, which they refuse to give up, then they should be shown the door, yes?

[Lord at War]

They will pick a night to burn 1000 Renaults and Citroens...

[ant1sthenes]

I feel like a more practical compromise would have been making them give up Religious Jim Crow and letting them keep the funny hats, rather than vice versa, but I'm not France.

[Certified Public Asshat]

*Clicks to see burkini*

Oh, it's just a wetsuit.

[The Fusionist]

"The ruling, signed off by the centre-right mayor, states: "Access to beaches and for swimming is banned to anyone who does not have (bathing apparel) which respects good customs and secularism.""

So, secularism is a cargo cult where you think that by requiring women on beaches to wear scanty clothing, you reduce terrorism?

[Lord Humungus]

*Gallic shrug*

[Tom Bombadil]

"Beachwear which ostentatiously displays religious affiliation, ...."

shorter Mayor of Cannes: "I want ostentatious displays of tits and ass or stay the fuck home"

[Suthenboy]

I don't have a problem with that.

[Brett L]

You've never seen the fat old French ladies who go to the beach and strip off.

[Tom Bombadil]

Except in this case, the mayor is demanding Muslim TandA.

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharia
M-m-m-my Sharia

[Crusty Juggler]

Police investigate 'poisoning' of Britain's Gabriella Taylor at Wimbledon as player's mother says she almost died

cotland Yard is investigating allegations that a female tennis player was deliberately poisoned while competing at last month's Wimbledon Championships.

It was initially thought that she had contracted a virus while playing overseas, but after spending four days in intensive care, doctors eventually diagnosed a rare strain of Leptospirosis, a disease caused by a bacterium that can be transmitted through rat urine.

[invisible furry hand]

I posted that yesterday but no-one responded, possibly because I mentioned rat pee in connection with it

[Crusty Juggler]

I would have thought that the mention of tennis and England would not have garnered any interest, because these commenters are uncultured and Americentric.

[UnCivilServant]

My lack of a response was simply because I didn't give a rat's ass.

[SugarFree]

Rat's ass gives you a different disease.

[Tonio]

I wasn't sure what you meant and didn't have the time to dig deeper. But, yeah, that's suspicious.

[B.P.]

We only care if Ke$ha is involved.

[lafe.long]

Billy West Recorded Some Choice Donald Trump Tweets in the Voice of Zapp Brannigan

It turns out that there's a VERY fine line between Donald Trump and the Futurama character Zapp Brannigan. Memes with Zapp's image and Trumps tweets started circulating the internet and they caught the attention of Billy West, the voice actor who plays Zapp Brannigan on Futurama. The recordings he made are out of this world.

[tarran]

Now everyone wants to know why I am giggling.

[LynchPin1477]

All I get is "This browser does not support video playback"

🙁

[lafe.long]

All I get is "This browser does not support video playback"

I got that in Chromium... Firefox worked fine.

[ant1sthenes]

So, Zapp, or Mom?

[Krabappel]

OMG Hillary Clinton should be read in Mom's voice. Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

[ant1sthenes]

I believe the libertarians are running Richard Nixon's head this year, so you have another choice.

[Injun, as in from India]

Free-speech and free-press advocates are fighting back against California's attempt to criminalize the publishing of undercover video footage of healthcare providers.

Standard progressive behavior.

Shut them down, using any combination of the below:

- Subpoenas and investigations, like the ones against Alex Epstein.
- SWAT raids against opponents, like in the Wisconsin John Doe investigation.
- Frivolous charges, like with David Daleiden for using a fake ID to get into Planned Parenthood, or against Governor Rick Perry.
- Campaign finance laws.

And now this: shutting down a specific category of speech.

[John]

It is actually worse than that, because it would be selectively enforced. Get undercover video of an abortion clinic and the cops will at your door that afternoon. Get undercover video of a therapist trying to talk someone out of being gay and you will be a hero. So they are not even shutting down a category of speech. They are wanting the arbitrary power to shut down whatever speech they don't like. Remember, just because your actions break the law doesn't mean the prosecutor will bring charges.

[tarran]

Remember, just because your actions break the law doesn't mean the prosecutor will bring charges.

+1 Bristol County, MA DA's philosophy.

[Red Rocks Okey-Dokein]

Remember, just because your actions break the law doesn't mean the prosecutor will bring charges.

"You got that right, mister!"
/Hillary

[Rich]

Judge bans Florida Man from ordering pizza

In a three-week period, police said [the man] made orders and refused to pay for them, directed delivery people to fake or vacant addresses, and made calls to the businesses just to tell them their pizza was gross.

And, the guy's name is Randy Riddle -- as in:

What's the difference between a rooster and a nymphomaniac?

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Umm, one is cock of the walk, and the other would walk for cock. Or something.

[Rich]

Acceptable.

Another answer is:

One says "Cock-a-doodle-doo" and the other says "Any cock'll do!"

[lafe.long]

"Any cock'll do!"

"A cock or two'll do"

[Crusty Juggler]

How Under Armour is outsmarting the Olympics' strict advertising rules - and is reaping the rewards of Phelps and USA gymnastics team

Instead of having to pay vast amount of cash to sponsor Phelps' Olympic performances, the company is craftily using social media to associate themselves with the Olympian for a fraction of the cost, using creative ways to congratulate the swimmer.

I hope this translates into even uglier college football uniforms.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Nike and Oregon go over the top, but they usually have some pretty cool designs.

UA and MD, yeesh.

[KDN]

Nike and Under Armour are in arms race that can only end in total blindness for NCAA football fans everywhere.

[Swiss Servator]

I larfed.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Subtle Ways to Let Him Know That Your Snatch Can Take a Real Pounding

I Believe That This Crystal Is Deodorant, And That's Enough

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Is this the new feminist-mockery site? These articles are okay, but they need to take it down a notch or two. They need to get closer to the line where you're not quite sure if what you're reading is real or not.

[Tonio]

Linked yesterday, Johnny.

[Michael]

"It smells like you!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_UMlBlx8Kw

[lafe.long]

Walmart Now Sells Deep Fried Twinkies

Forget the hassle of frying your Twinkies yourself or driving out to a county fair to get a taste, now you can pick them up in any Walmart freezer aisle.

[Tom Bombadil]

The only way these are going to be edible is if you deep fry them again, so I don't think any hassle has been forgotten.

[Libertarian]

I love this country.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Pro Tips for Farting Your Way Out Of This Tinder Date

[Crusty Juggler]

If your intent was to completely ruin the Reductress for me, you have succeeded.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

How to Write A Cute Tinder Bio That Won't Reveal You Killed Your Sister

[lafe.long]

Congressional leaders were briefed a year ago on hacking of Democrats - sources

U.S. intelligence officials told top congressional leaders a year ago that Russian hackers were attacking the Democratic Party, three sources familiar with the matter said on Thursday, but the lawmakers were unable to tell the targets about the hacking because the information was so secret.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Today in stupid Facebook comments, the cop in Florida who shot the woman during the training session probably feels bad and it was a total accident, so we should just move on.

Has anyone stopped to think that this Officer did not wake up that day saying, "Im going to make the hugest mistake of my life today and accidentally kill a woman"??? Has anyone stopped for one second and had empathy for him? What happened is horrible, and tragic and my heart is hurt for her and her family, but also for the officer and his. You think this is how he wanted this to go?? You think he wouldn't give his life to take to her place and have none of this be? I dont know him, but I know he didn't wake up that day thinking this would happen. This will haunt him for life. A woman has lost her life and people are worried about tax money amd how its being described via statement. Shame on all of you. Might we all be as perfect as all of you one day. None of us may ever shoot someone one day.... but we may pull out in traffic wrong and cause a death, and God forbid anyone have sympathy for you when it happens. I promise you that no matter what punishment is handed down, it wont touch what that officer will punish himself with for life. Remember that....

[Longtorso, Johnny]

"You think he wouldn't give his life to take to her place and have none of this be? "

I know for as much an absolute fact as possible, he would not give his life to take her place.

[lap83]

He should feel deep regret if he's not a horrible person. That doesn't mean I need to feel sorry for him.

[Tonio]

That poor man...

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Ya know, if he's sorry, so be it. But I don't want him in any job that requires the regular use of a firearm.

[The Fusionist]

Yeah, cops constantly reproach each other for being judgmental toward "civilians" who negligently kill people.

[R C Dean]

Has anyone stopped for one second and had empathy for him?

No more than for any other murderer, no.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

6 Things He Can Say While Spanking You to Prove That You're Still Equals

[lafe.long]

Gannett Co. and The New York Times: Media Companies Request Unsealing of Trump's 1990 Divorce Records

Thursday's request to the New York Supreme Court cited that the records from Donald Trump's 1990 divorce from Ivana Trump could show the GOP presidential candidate's "credibility and character."

[The Fusionist]

The New York Times is *so concerned* about the divorce epidemic in this country!

/sarc

[WTF]

records from Donald Trump's 1990 divorce from Ivana Trump could show the GOP presidential candidate's "credibility and character."

Yet they remain oddly incurious about Hillary's emails, the Clinton Foundation, Hillary's pay to play as SOS, Kathleen Willey, Juanita Broaderick, etc. etc.

[lafe.long]

Greenland Shark: New Study Finds Vertebrate Animal Could Live for More Than 250 Years

The study, published in Science, found via radiocarbon dating the lenses of their eyes that Greenland sharks might be the most long-lived vertebrates, adding one specimen may be up to 512 years old.

[Swiss Servator]

*begins studying how to transplant brain into Greenland Shark*

[tarran]

It's a long life, yes. But a very boring one.

[UnCivilServant]

It's the cold. They effectively live in cryostasis

[Lord Humungus]

Weak economy is responsible for rampant swoleness: study

Skim through any fitness enthusiast's Instagram, and you'll find allusions to being "swole" ? or in Herculean shape. Since the 2008 economic crisis, more men have taken to social media to post images of their fit bodies, according to the Journal of Gender Studies report. The trend, which experts have dubbed "spornosexuality," reflects men attempting to seek validation through their bodies, instead of more conventional means, such as their work.

"Austerity has eroded young men's traditional means of value-creation so they have become increasingly reliant on their bodies as a means of feeling valuable in society," said study author Jamie Hakim, a professor at the University of East Anglia in the United Kingdom. "In theoretical terms, so-called 'spornosexuality' is an embodied response to material changes brought about by neoliberal austerity."

[invisible furry hand]

"neoliberal austerity", or "reality" to the rest of us

[Swiss Servator]

Warty laughs at these pathetic humans.

[Arizona_Guy]

"neoliberal austerity" AKA living within your means.

[Krabappel]

I'm not sure a weak economy has anything to do with increased narcissism on social media. That said, I'll still look.

[ant1sthenes]

So... is it just me, or was every other story this time 4 years ago about how much money the candidates were getting, and from where? Do you think maybe the media forgot that money in politics is bad? Maybe someone should remind them.

[Suthenboy]

Cankles is outspending Trump 2:1 and is barely ahead in the polls, if you are dumb enough to believe the polls. Of course the MSM isnt going to talk about that.

[ant1sthenes]

Yes, but I think the massive, probably coordinated omission needs to be pointed out for what it is, often enough that people become aware of it -- omission is the most effective form of bias because it's harder to detect what isn't there.

[straffinrun]

Just Happened: Egyptian Judoka heavy weight refused to shake the Israeli judoka's hand after losing. The Israeli bowed to him, but the Egyptian just stood there. Finally, the Israeli left and the Egyptian came back and finally bowed to the judges. Lots of class.

[John]

Muslims are in 21st Century parlance a religion of trolling.

[Injun, as in from India]

I thought Egyptians were on friendly terms with the Israelis.

This is very unsportsmanlike.

[tarran]

The Egyptian government is "friendly". Basically, as long as they are at "peace" with Israel, they get the same amount of "aid" the US gives to Israel.

The citizenry is a completely different story.

[The Fusionist]

"Friendly" in the sense of "not in an official state of war with." Not in the sense of "actually likes."

[Injun, as in from India]

Even Indians and Pakistanis don't do this sort of sh1t after fighting 4 wars.

[Juvenile Bluster]

This is becoming a common Olympic theme.

[Suthenboy]

Uncivilized people behave in uncivilized ways. Shocking.

We should randomly load up a million or so of them and dump them here in our country. What could go wrong?

[Domestic Dissident]

The Egyptians are mentally stuck between a Hosni Mubarak rock and a Muslim Brotherhood hard place. Clearly they don't want to go all the way back to the 8th century, but they're not at all comfortable with the 21st century either. They're like somewhere around the 17th or 18th century.

Remember this guy? Of course you do, because who could ever forget that beautfiful, love-filled face? For those of you with short memories, he was an Egyptian.

[R C Dean]

What I'd like to see:

Some Muslim asshole actually beats an Israeli for the gold medal, and refuses to shake hands, etc.

The judges strip the asshole of his medal and award it to the Israeli.

Actions need to have consequences.

[Nativist, Racist & Xenophobe]

The Anti-Trump Right's Sad Quest for Respectability

Today I received a fundraising letter from conservative comic writer P.J. O'Rourke. On the envelope, above a caricature of O'Rourke, is one of his more celebrated quotes: "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." Ha, ha.

...

I opened the envelope today to discover who on the right would use a Hillary endorser to raise funds. It was the Cato Institute, a D.C.-based think-tank "dedicated to the principles of individual liberty, limited government, free markets and peace."

[John]

They should have just sat the election out and said nothing. People might not have liked that but they really couldn't have said much. No one owes a candidate their support. All they have done by throwing such a fit is make themselves look like the establishment hacks that they likely are. Both sides now despise them.

[commodious warned u bucko]

They should have just sat the election out and said nothing.

After the convention, absolutely. If they didn't have enough pull with party officials to stage a coup, they're not suddenly going to find it now. Trump's voters don't care that he's trailing Hillary in every demographic, and his reluctant supporters are already resigned to this shitshow. People on the fence between him and Johnson, like me, aren't going to turn out for yet another loser option.

[John]

Anyone who is willing to take a protest vote is already supporting Johnson or Stein. What is the point of voting for their loser? And of course they spent a month saying Johnson was a honorable alternative. If he is an honorable alternative, why are your running this guy who can't even get on the ballot in most states. You can't overstate what pathetic phonies these people are.

[commodious warned u bucko]

Brand preservation is my best guess.

[R C Dean]

"Gentlemen, we have to protect our phony-baloney brand!"

[Arizona_Guy]

McMullin's purpose IMO, is to spoil the election while keeping a fig leaf that you're still 'conservative.'

[Stormy Dragon]

Both sides now despise them.

Some would consider being despised by both sides of this election to be a badge of honor.

[Domestic Dissident]

"Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters."
-Cato the Elder

Cato has become the current Reason Magazine of institutes: a joke and a shell of its old self.

[lafe.long]

FTL:

Cato will still hold symposiums on federal privatization and publish reports like "The Case against a Carbon Tax," but if Hillary is elected, no one in power will pay their efforts the least bit of attention. They will spin away on their tiny wheels with less consequence than the proverbial hamster. The hamster at least gets some exercise.

But never mind. Like the rest of the NeverTrump crowd, the Cato people will be smug about their irrelevancy. They will tweet each other, "When Trump implodes, we'll have nothing to be embarrassed about" and go to Georgetown cocktail parties with their heads held high. Sigh!

But it was not until I saw the Cato mailer that my overriding sentiment crystallized. These people are pathetic, deluded, fearful. They are frightened someone will think them vulgar or nutty or, God forbid, racist. They are the "pussies" Clint Eastwood warned us about.

[commodious warned u bucko]

Their lectures are interesting and liberty-minded. And Trump is going to do little to advance liberty. But they're not going to get another bite at that apple in 2016.

[Arizona_Guy]

O'Rourke, I am disappoint.

I just finished reading a PJ O'Rourke anthology. He's written a lot of humorous commentary over the years. Very critical of power and the American left.

I thought he was trolling with the "wrong in normal parameters" line. I guess I was wrong, he'd rather have a political hack like Clinton then Johnson.

[Libertarian]

I was always a big fan of his, but his support of the Gulf War was strikes one and two. His "endorsement" of Hillary might be strike three.

[Arizona_Guy]

Reading his stuff in the 90s helped move me in a libertarian-ish direction.

[Libertarian]

In other news of irony today, I recently picked up a book of O'Rourke's whose title was "Don't Vote! It Only Encourages the Bastards."

[commodious warned u bucko]

The odd thing about high-stakes, once-in-a-lifetime elections is that they happen every four years.

[Arizona_Guy]

So true

[Suthenboy]

"dedicated to the principles of individual liberty, limited government, free markets and peace."

But actively working for tyranny, expanded government, cronyism and war.

[Almanian's NOTHING TO SEE HERE]

I assume you degenerates realize that the World Pipe Band Championship is beginning to happen right under your noses over on Glasgow Green. Should be another banner year. The standard is so high, I don't know how they judge the damned contest any more. Top 6 or 7 bands are just OUTSTANDING.

Gitcha some at

http://www.theworlds.co.uk/Pages/home.aspx

[Lord Humungus]

Lee Marvin trivia I read today:

He is interred at Arlington National Cemetery where his headstone reads "Lee Marvin, PFC, US Marine Corps, World War II".[

[Crusty Juggler]

He got shot in the ass.

[Chipwooder]

Took two bullets on Saipan. 'Rah.

[R C Dean]

Respect.

[Domestic Dissident]

In news you won't hear a whisper about in the so-called "mainstream media", a Bernie Sanders supporting attorney named Shawn Lucas sued Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and the DNC on June 28, accusing them of election fraud.

On August 2, he was discovered unconscious bathroom floor by his girlfriend, and shortly after that he was dead. Pretty weird, huh? Just another one of those remarkable, really unfortunate coincidences I guess!

[Tonio]

Infowars, but still noteworthy. Article says he wasn't into drugs and implied he led a healthy lifestye. His age would have been helpful but from the picture he looks to be no older than 45. Will be interesting to see the toxicology report.

[Suthenboy]

http://www.thegatewaypundit.co.....t-dead-dc/

Yeah, the coincidences just keep piling up.

[commodious warned u bucko]

French researchers determine health effects for Hiroshima, Nagasaki survivors and their children are not as severe as expected.

[Lord Humungus]

Nuklar bombs for everyone!

[ant1sthenes]

Health effects for non-survivors still presumed to be fatal.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

"Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have them, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end. Friend of mine had one. Designer of the neutron bomb. You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people - leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It's so small, no one knows it's there until - BLAMMO. Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead. So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again. "