School Bans Clapping. Students May Silently Wriggle Instead.
Too sensitive to hyper-sensitivity


Elanora Heights, a public school in Sydney, Australia, has banned clapping out of "respect" for noise-sensitive students. Instead, kids can "conduct a silent cheer."
I am waving my hands in the air in front of my laptop while grinning excitedly.
In its July 18 newsletter, the Elanora school has published an item under the headline "Did you know" that "our school has adopted silent cheers at assembly's" (sic).
"If you've been to a school assembly recently, you may have noticed our students doing silent cheers," the item reads.
"Instead of clapping, the students are free to punch the air, pull excited faces and wriggle about on the spot.
"The practice has been adopted to respect members of our school community who are sensitive to noise.
"When you attend an assembly, teachers will prompt the audience to conduct a silent cheer if it is needed.
"Teachers have also found the silent cheers to be a great way to expend children's energy and reduce fidgeting."
Yes, I'll bet fidgeting is a thing of the past, now that kids can silently mouth the word, "Hooray!"
Some students are, I'm sure, sensitive to noise. But that is not like being sensitive to something superfluous to childhood and easily banned, like, say, latex gloves. Cheering is normal behavior. It's spontaneous. It's not mean, it's not bullying, it's the way humans celebrate.
The song doesn't go, "If you're happy and you know it, noiselessly wriggle."
What's more, "sensitivity" is a pretty broad word. "Sensitive" to the point where the child literally is in agony and cannot function? Or "sensitive," as in, "doesn't enjoy" or even "hates" something?
Hyper-sensitivity might require a different school setting entirely, as would hyper-sensitivity to germs, or light. But plain old "God I hate that"-sensitivity is part of life we all have to deal with. In fact, dealing with it is part of what helps kids grow up and function in the world.
Banning normal behavior because of some possibly hypothetical sensitivity is not just a slippery slope, it's at the bottom of that slope—the place you hoped not to slip all the way down to.
At that bottom, all of human interaction is up for banning: hugs (for those sensitive to touch), hellos (for those sensitive to interaction), handshakes (for those with OCD).
While it does make sense to re-evaluate old practices, when you start outlawing an entire genre of interaction—cheering—you have cast your vote against humanity and in favor of crippling correctness.
And crippling is what we are doing when we treat our kids as if they can't handle so much as a (here I am pulling an excited face).
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"Hey, those aren't jazz hands!"
Isn't Jazz hands some form of, ahem, cultural appropriation?
Who the fuck claps at assembly, and what at?
You clap when it is finally over.
Elementary school students do before they become cynical and jaded. I can't remember what at since I've been cynical and jaded for so long.
They clap for Free Shit. That's how they get these kids hooked.
A bunch of noisy kids? Annoying.
A bunch of quiet kids? Eerie and unsettling.
*silently wriggles in agreement*
Ooh, that silent wriggle has me going.
"hey baby, wanna see my silent wriggler?"
When I wiggle, there is a distinct clapping sound against my lower thighs.
I'm 'punching the air' in agreement.
Look at Lenore, she wants some poor kid to swell up and die from his clapping allergy just so other brats can "have fun" and "be happy". Prison isn't supposed to be a fun, happy place, Lenore.
Also, over/under on first Arrested Development joke?
Children should be neither seen nor heard?
Unless you are OMWC in which case you think children should be obscene
If you are OMWC, children should be felt.
NO TOUCHING [hands together]?
It was all down hill once they banned peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
"our school has adopted silent cheers at assembly's" (sic)
That really says it all. They're more focused on PC bullshit than basic spelling and punctuation rules.
+1 "I teaches English."
I assume you are referring to my experience in the grocery store? You remembered that? Even I forgot about that one.
I nearly shit myself when I heard her say that.
It's 'Strine - any resemblance to English was purely coincidental, anyway.
I don't think PC is even what this is. It's just overcautious and weird.
Some people (particularly people with partial paralysis and certain mental disorders) are actually very sensitive to noise and can experience physical pain because of loud noise. But I can't imagine that is a problem at a lot of elementary schools.
I am sensitive to educrat bullshit.
"Punch the air" - great until kids start "accidentally" punching each other out.
"Wriggle about on the spot" - great until somebody slips a disc.
Way to make celebrating more dangerous Aussie teachers.
Yes, and they obviously don't realize how ableist it is to require kids to punch and wriggle? What about the amputees and scoliosis kids?
I think we know how this all ends up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron
Up-twinkles are now mandatory.
This may be the Occupy movement's greatest accomplishment to date.
I left my office-job and now I am getting paid 98 usd hourly. How? I work over internet! My old work was making me miserable, so I was forced to try something different, 2 years after...I can say my life is changed-completely for the better! Check it out what i do...
Go to the web+++++++++++ http://www.Aspire-Jobs.com
Can you please stop? I'm sensitive to bot posts.
If only there was some sort of message board equivalent of up-twinkling and down-twinkling.
Reported for no trigger warning about down-twinkling.
You can't upvote or downvote a comment, but you can silently wiggle your mouse over it.
That is barely even a euphemism.
I like to tease myself.
This is not what you think it is. It's a technique from Straight, Inc. See this video starting at 20s. The goal is to get them to 'accidentally' hit each other and then discipline them (or not).
It's based on the 12 Steps. Here's the full cultograph.
cultograph
That's right more, give me more! I want all the articles! Force feed me the world's shit until I explode.
IT"S FILLING ME UP! UNLLLLLLLIMITED FUCKERY!!
ewwww
Any reports of children saluting the scholl administration with the deaf-sign for "helicopter"?
Speaking of scholl, do they ban offensive odors as well?
Another joke, Eddie? I'm impressed.
No, but they are allowed to do the Ingraham wave.
"Instead of clapping, the students are free to punch the air, pull excited faces and wriggle about on the spot."
They actually said "punching" was okay?
It's Australia. Despite the inroads of PC kulturwehr, punching is still the primary method of communicating affection, approval, or other positive feelings.
*punched Citizen X on the nose*
How the fuck are ya, mate?
Crikey! G'day, Bruce! [punch]
They can also kick their feet in the air like a kangaroo.
Noise-sensitive....definitely getting closer than ever to peak derp.
Who decides when the noise has reached an unacceptable level?
Actually, did anyone else have stop lights in their school cafeterias that apparently measured sound level?
So green is good, yellow getting loud, and at red everyone had to shut the fuck up, or some asshole cafeteria monitor made you stand against the wall by yourself, not able to continue eating your lunch.
No, nothing so elaborate. They would just turn the lights off if the lunch ladies thought it was too loud, which was about every 15 minutes.
I've gone to my kids' school to eat lunch with them (apparently this is a thing now, never happened in the '80s) and the lunchroom monitors at that place are Stasi-like. I fucking hate them, and I've encouraged my daughter to disobey them. My son, alas, was born with a rigid adherence to rules encoded in his DNA - noncompliance just isn't something he's capable of.
I've encouraged my daughter to disobey them. My son, alas, was born with a rigid adherence to rules encoded in his DNA - noncompliance just isn't something he's capable of.
Sounds like it's time to give up on the boy.
noncompliance just isn't something he's capable of.
I'll pay premium for that kind of worker for my monocle mines.
Each table had a monitor on a rotating basis. We could get away with a medium-murmur and that's about it.
Uh...no. That wouldn't last a week where I went to school. It would have been stolen or vandalized.
Well this was elementary school, I think by middle school it was gone. Definitely didn't have one in high school.
I've seen noise sensitivity in action. A friend of my son's does not do well with loud noises. His parents use elementary school (and Cub Scouts) as a way of conditioning him instead of asking the school to institute asinine policies like this.
This. My kid has had a seizure triggered by a loud noise. Granted it was a train horn 20 feet away.
So, I get that it's a real thing.
But the whole school? WTF.
Local school has a peanut free class room and a peanut free lunch table. Not the whole school.
Noise-sensitive....definitely getting closer than ever to peak derp
It actually is a real thing. I have a friend who is in a wheelchair because of a spinal injury. Sudden loud noise actually causes her physical pain in her useless legs.
Good excuse to let her skip the assemblies.
"The children of privileged families may rattle their jewelry." / Liverpool accent
What's stupid about this is there's a relatively inexpensive device that the noise sensitive students can wear to mitigate nearly all noise, and their parents should be providing it.
Are you advocating individual rather than collective responsibility? You heartless monster!
And if the school wanted to hand out free earplugs, I wouldn't really complain about that either.
And you can get ones that filter loud noises without blocking all sound.
"...members of our school community who are sensitive to noise."
Do you have a list of such members of your school community. Let me see it. Also, define 'sensitive'.
Perhaps they do have an autistic student who has a problem. If so, ok.
If so, allow the autistic kid to opt out of the damned assembly. Just like how the fat kids could opt for indoor recess.
You put all the fat kids outside during recess? Brutal. Did the shivering help them lose weight?
I thought they made teachers read "Walden Two" in their certificate-programs - sort of like the way kids read 1984 & Lord of the Flies in high-school - to point out that certain kinds of conditioning ideas don't actually work in the real world, and wouldn't actually be desirable even if they did.
i know that's not exactly how the book is written - but i was always pretty sure that teachers were intended to read it to see "how utopian idealism fails in contact with reality of human behavior"
It is a brave new world, brother. A brave new world.
Im actually serious about this point -
all of the things mentioned - Walden Two*, Lord of the Flies, Animal Farm/1984, Brave New World - were all part of the High-School curriculum for me.
(*this, only because i went to a goofy experimental school)
It seemed to be a huge thematic component of all basic-education in the 1980s/1990s - that "utopianism" is flawed, dangerous, unrealistic. that human beings ARE NOT behaviorist automatons who can simply be trained/environmentally-guided into desired behaviors / attitudes, etc.
It seems like there was a much more mature and sophisticated general consensus operating *back then*; and that we've since reverted back to a retarded, formulaic mindset which believes that educators can impose norms by mere decree.
I went to just a regular old school and we read all those too. I honestly think it was anti-communist conditioning. I bet it sounds weird to younger people, but people our age were generally taught that communism was a bad thing.
In the late 90s and early 00s, the Soviet Union was "misunderstood"
Something something... "pivotal experiment"...
The only one i mentioned which might be "odd" (I assumed) for some people was "Walden Two".... which was part of a quirky class that was like a survey of educational-theory. They were very proud of the fact that they were instructing the students on "how they were being instructed"; or "how instruction has worked in the past/how ideas have changed". We also read Ted Sizer's "Horace's Compromise", as it was closest to the educational system we were working within.
Maybe. I'm not sure. All the teachers i had were lefty as fuck; a few were former SDS members. I don't think any of the mentioned books were in the context of any curriculum that had any anti-commie bent; slightly anti-*statist*, maybe.... perhaps the lefties of the 80s were generally more suspicious of Top Down imposed solutions
[doesn't give a fuck about your asterisk, because that's like cool, man]
All my teachers were fairly unpolitical in the classroom, so that ended up being a relief. I'm sure our journalism professor was pretty hard left*, but he kept to vague "don't trust the government" ramblings.
*He always smelled like pot and brought his kayak to school every day. Every. Day.
*He always smelled like pot and brought his kayak to school every day. Every. Day.
Probably lived in a van down by the river and liked to go kayaking after work.
I graduated in 91, never was assigned to read any of those. I have since read 1984 and Brave New World and I'm just about done with Republic. It seems to me that education is heading towards a strange mashup of BNW and Republic with a lean more towards Republic.
We did as well, and I'm almost sure it was anti-communist training. It worked.
I'm pretty sure i didn't need it what with "The Day After" on TV, and the soviets being the baddies in every single movie, news frequently showing parades of ICBMs through Red Square, etc.
i wonder if people still use those books as frequently; i still think they have tons of pedagogical value in an English classroom - at least more so than, say, Pride & Prejudice , or To The Lighthouse - not to single out "feminist" stuff for being feministy, but singling out both for having zero actual impact on students.
I'm having a hard time finding current reading lists for high schools, but Common Core de-emphasizes literature, saying it should represent no more than 30% of the curriculum. I did not know that.
this has a lot of the titles i'd expect. Its not 'official' by any means but i'm not official those things exist/are published except within state school districts. what's notable is that its largely the same as what i'd seen from 20+ years ago. I'd have expected 30% to be much newer material, but its not.
""i'm not sure those official things"....
I made it to that one as well. Sister Carrie? Those monsters.
And then we learned that the Germans were "liberated" from the Nazis.
I remember seeing a bunch of videos of Occupy protesters snapping their fingers in approval. I don't think they had any lofty considerations for delicate snowflakes in the crowd to justify them doing it either. I think it was just pure hipster non-conformity conformity.
IIRC, they claimed that applause was aggressive and triggering. Scary stuff!!
As a child in Sunday school when they told me that "the meek shall inherit the Earth", I had no idea that day was so fast approaching. Christians got that one right at least.
Uptwinkles and Downtwinkles. Never forget that retardation.
I suppose they don't ring a loud, annoying factory-style bell every time a class period is over?
Hahaha, no its an artisans digital bell designed by Tibetan monks to minimize suffering.
artisanal*
Fucking phone is having a field day today
Artisans? What girl would not prefer the child of a god to that of some acne-scarred artisan?
"Whoa! No, no! No applause. Every time you clap your hands you kill thousands of spores that'll some day form a nutritious fungus. Just show your approval with a mold-friendly thumbs up.
Please hold your thumbs until the end."
Banning normal behavior because of some possibly hypothetical sensitivity is not just a slippery slope, it's at the bottom of that slope?the place you hoped not to slip all the way down to.
This fight was lost when the schools gave into the parents that convinced themselves that peanuts had to be banned in a 100-yard radius from their children.
I wish there was a way to buy you a beer over the internet.
I used to put out a tip jar but it kept being robbed.
You probably shouldn't have labeled it "Just The Tip Please."
Yeah, yeah... everyone's a critic.
My son was in one of those peanut butter-free classrooms last year. I kept sending PB in his lunch but told him I was using sunflower seed butter and thus allowed (early elementary school is the best, when you can convince kids of almost anything!). It was several weeks before one of the wardens in the lunchroom caught on.
Did they confiscate the sandwich and have him go hungry that day?
Did they confiscate the sandwich and have him go hungry that day?
They gave him a sandwich from the lost and found.
That sounds too generous of them.
They confiscated the sandwich, forced him to buy lunch using the cafeteria account I set up so he could buy milk, and sent a sniffy note home lecturing me that the sandwich was NOT made with sunflower seed butter and that I was endangering the health of one of his classmates and yadda yadda.
You sent him to school with an assault sandwich.
We always got peanut butter (sans jelly) sandwiches on chili day. I still crave peanut butter when I eat chili. Conditioning is so strong.
I loved school sandwiches of any type. Oh, man... Wonder bread. We only ever had Roman Meal at the house. It tasted like cardboard and scoured your colon like a steel wool smoothie.
Yep, my conditioning is grilled cheese uncrustables with chili
With *chef boy r Dee ravioli, which is pretty much chili with meat pasta in it.
Wonderbread is great for making sculptures. Very malleable substance.
I still crave peanut butter when I eat chili.
As Thai cuisine has taught us, peanut butter and chili are an excellent combo.
[wanders over to office fridge, paws through the meals kindly donated by colleagues to see what's for lunch today]
Peanut butter and sriracha.
That's not cool. You could actually kill someone that way.
Yeah, if you had taken PB&J away from the kids in the cafeteria when I was young and given them Gogurt as a substitute, every school in the district would've been burned to the ground.
+1000 nautical miles from anywhere in Asia.
Wait, noises frighten you?
And you expect to run the world one day?
No one should expect to run the world.
And yet they do.
While being afraid of noise.
You can become an eccentric billionaire and *force* underlings to cater to your special sensitivities.
Have all the floors in your mansion heavily carpeted. Fire anyone who speaks above a whisper, or whose cell phone goes off in your presence.
And when they walk backwards when leaving your presence, they should have special padding so that if they bump into anything it won't make a sudden noise.
This should prepare Australia's young'uns for the fact that every living creature in Australia is seeking to kill them.
Even those adorable koalas?
Drop bears.
ESPECIALLY the Koalas. They're the worst of all...
These little demons?
Now this is a controversy that calls for a fart-in.
On Argelius they use the lights.
Earplugs. Who wants to see a bunch of kids wriggling around with delight? Preverts, that's who.
Penal colony, amirite?
penal
"Some students are, I'm sure, sensitive to noise."
Actually I'm not. I've done a *lot* of behavioral care (particularly anxiety in all ages and of all flavors) in over 30 years of practice, but not *once* do I remember hearing this mentioned as part of anyone's symptoms, even in profoundly anxious patients who are bothered by almost everything they encounter. I doubt anyone who can tolerate the crowd itself is set off by the clapping.
But remember the date, because we will now be creating this problem. Years from now people will be asking, "Geez, when did clapping and cheering start bothering people? We used to do that all the time without any problems." The right answer will be, "About 2016, when we decided to start telling people that it should, so it did." The wrong answer will be, "It always did, but we didn't allow people to say so."
This is technically called the "nocebo" effect - a side effect from an inert substance produced solely by suggestion. But it's far worse than that because, while being promoted as a helpful "accomodation", it is really beyond even enabling, it is pandering to maladaptive behavior and destructive to the acquisition of coping skills. It promotes victimization and disability as a behavioral lifestyle.
Just an upgrade to the modern snowflake making machine.
Good post! I had never heard of the nocebo effect, but it's good to put a name to the phenomenon.
I thought noise sensitivity is a textbook symptom of autism.
Which explains my surprise that the HnR commentariat seem to be so against this. 🙂
Rocking is a side effect of Risperdal, an anti-psychotic they use to 'treat' autism. Thus the side effect becomes the symptom - creating the iatrogenic cycle which gets increasingly harder to break free from. Some people may experience akathisia or the urge to constantly keep moving their body.
"What's wrong honey the loud noises bothering you?"
Woah, woah, woah. Hold up!
If you write one more disparaging remark about this miracle drug, I swear I will fucking kick your teeth in.
Does anyone see him complaining about the breasts?
Major class action suit about the boys with boobies.
I wonder if they are referencing "sensory processing disorder." It's the hip new thang in helicopter parenting.
Submitted without comment:
People suffering from over-responsivity might:
Dislike textures such as those found in fabrics, foods, grooming products or other materials found in daily living, to which most people would not react. This dislike interferes with normal function.
Avoid crowds and noisy places
Motion sickness (not related to other medical explanations)
Refuse normal skin contact interactions (kissing, cuddling or hugging) due to negative experience of touch sensation (not to be confused with shyness or social difficulties)
Feel seriously discomforted, sick or threatened by normal sounds, lights, movements, smells, tastes, or even inner sensations such as heartbeat.
Be picky eaters
Have sleep disorders (waking up to minor sounds, problems getting sleep because of sensory overload)
Find it difficult to self calm, feel constantly under stress
People suffering from under-responsivity:
Show extreme difficulties waking up
Appear unreactive and slow
Be unaware of pain and/or other people
Might appear deaf even when auditory function has been tested
Child might be difficult being toilet trained, unaware of being wet or soiled
People suffering from sensory discrimination problems might:
Drop things constantly
Have poor handwriting
Difficulty dressing and eating
Use inappropriate force to handle objects
Being a child is now a medical condition.
No child of mine would survive past the age of 5 being a picky eater.
I was a very picky eater. Then my family moved overseas for a few years when I was 11, that cured me.
That will do it.
Unless you're Japanese. In Thailand, there are entire chains of supermarkets that cater to Japanese expats, who might have been resident in country for 20 to 30 years, but still get violently ill at the thought of consuming non-Japanese cuisine.
Feel seriously discomforted, sick or threatened by normal sounds, lights, movements, smells, tastes, or even inner sensations such as heartbeat.
This sounds like me, in a few minutes a coworker will pass by my desk and start sucking her teeth and I will need all my mental strength and focus to calm myself. I don't think I have a disorder though. Noises just bother me. I can function.
Those with SMD present difficulties processing the degree of intensity, duration, frequency, etc., of information and may exhibit behaviors with a fearful and/or anxious pattern, negative and/or stubborn behaviors, self-absorbed behaviors that are difficult to engage, or creative or actively seeking sensation.
At the risk of appearing, um, insensitive -- Isn't this describing stupidity?
That, and just an unwillingness to get their fucking act together vs. making it SEP.*
*someone else's problem
Clapping ain't going anywhere. Without the ability to generate lots of noise to venerate our noble politicians at the rallies, it's hard to get the crowd sucked into the mob mentality.
The right answer will be, "About 2016, when we decided to start telling people that it should, so it did."
So true. As with transgender bathrooms, etc., many of our "First World Problems" have been manufactured out of whole cloth.
The whole post is just rock solid, GL.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"...and the Koch-funded Reason Foundation wants children to get the clap!"
/Barbara Boxer on the Senate floor
/wriggles in approval
I, for one, applaud their efforts
oh no, wait.......
Is marching in lock-step next? Or is it denouncing all former belief systems? I can never remember the order!
P.S. I'll bet Big Pharma has a pill for those 'noise-sensitive' little shits!
Oh, they have lots of pills for being noise-sensitive.
The hard part is getting the right size for your ear canal.
I am sensitive to liberals. How do I get them to shut the fuck up and instead wriggle in place...and stay in their fucking place.
I'm deeply triggered by wriggling.
Then you probably don't want to watch this (NSFW).
Example number 5,311 why we should close down all the public schools, out of an abundance of caution. There are still millions of kids across the country who might be traumatized by applause bursting out at school assemblies, recitals, ball games, and the like.
This kind of story of outlandish, somewhat entertaining, and often disturbing. Regardless, it makes excellent click bait.
However, the broader implication is this is just the sort of unadulterated horse shit that is coming our way via enlightened progressivism. If you live in Sweden your kid is a "hen," if you go to a conference at Cambridge you use "jazz hands,' fuck, it just feeds on itself.
My friend's aunt makes $87 an hour on the laptop . She has been fired from work for seven months but last month her pay check was $13489 just working on the laptop for a few hours. try this site...
======== http://www.Alpha-Careers.com
If you try to prevent everything that someone is "sensitive to", then everyone should stay home. Let us say someone really is sensitive to loud noises (never even heard of this, but whatever)--they can wear earplugs. The idea that clapping is too aggressive is simply nuts--it is the ONLY way for a group to show they are happy/excited/agree.
Some people are offended by perfumes and actively try to persecute people at their work who wear it.
Waving arms?
Thanks for the epileptic fit, bastards.
We can even create playlists of them so it will be very easy to find our videos which we like. We can also download those videos and can watch them offline. Showbox for pc