Brickbats

Brickbat: Pig in a Blanket

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pig
Glen Bowman / CC BY-SA

At just 60 pounds, Sheldon is smaller than some dogs. But under Hamilton, Ontario, law, the pot-bellied pig is considered  a farm animal and therefore banned. Officials have told his owner, Diane Hines, she has to get rid of him. She's trying to get officials to overturn that law.

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42 responses to “Brickbat: Pig in a Blanket

  1. Is this where ‘Canadian bacon’ comes from?

    1. No, they cut that from the side of Winston’s fat whore of a mother.

      1. ‘When you need to know, SugarFree cares’.

        1. Sugar free would pee on winston for you and me. He would do it with so much glee, that he’d even grab a hammer and break a knee. Oh what fun that would be.

          1. When I went camping with SF, we did the usual end-of-the-evening ritual of pissing on the campfire to put it out. Big mistake- the whole area reeked of caramel.

            1. And then, when you woke up, you discovered you’d lost your oral, nasal, moral, and patellar virginity.

    2. way to ham it up!

  2. Hines doesn’t know who complained about the pig, but calls the move “vindictive.”

    #BLTM?

    1. I almost missed what you did there

      1. Evidently Adans did miss it.

  3. the pot-bellied pig

    Haven’t we talked about police enough the last few weeks?

  4. Thought they were saying Sheldon Richman was a light weight at first.

    Something something bacon…….mmmmm

    1. #BLTmatters

  5. Snitches are the worst.

    Worst than…

    1. Turkey “bacon”

  6. you can pull a pig to water…and you get pulled pork

  7. you can pull a pig to water…and you get pulled pork

  8. A neighbor of mine got one of these disgusting animals. It was supposed to be a miniature pig but it’s now way over 100 lbs. It smells awful, shits in a box, and squeals really loud whenever it’s hungry (always) or unhappy. I won’t set foot in her house any more.

    1. sounds like my ex-wife, minus the box

      1. Goddamit, you beat me to that line.

    2. That’s less a problem due to the animal and more due to the neighbor not training it or taking care of it properly. Like living near a dog that won’t stop barking when the owner is away or its put outside. For hours on end.

      1. It’s both – the animal is three times the size it was supposed to be. Like buying a beagle puppy that turns out to be a St. Bernard. And they tolerate it’s obnoxious behavior.

    3. Yeah I had a neighbor who got one also. The names “pig” and “hog” have a well-earned negative reputation. And they too were ripped off in that their supposedly exotic miniature pig grew to be a regular big fat pig.

      1. It is kinda funny to watch from a distance.

  9. Hines said Sheldon recovered from “serious plumbing problems” that cost her about $6,000 in surgery and veterinarian bills. “He is still a special-needs pig as far as his bladder is concerned,” she said.

    Well, that *proves* he’s not a “farm animal”!

    1. what sort of special needs does this pig require, short of the box he shits in?

      1. A captive bolt pistol to the brain?

      2. He needs a service animal to help him find a restroom quickly.

      3. Internal temperature must reach at least 145 degrees for three minutes according to the USDA.

    2. Are pigs even suppose to have bladder control? I wouldn’t bring a horse or cow into my house and act surprised when it shit and pissed whenever and wherever it felt the urge.

      1. “When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!”

  10. I’m torn here. On the one hand I don’t really like most zoning laws, for all the usual reasons. On the other, at the hight of the Potbellied Pig fad in the ’90’s (?), I met three or four beasts that were supposed to be examples of the breed. Maybe all four owners had been scammed with other breeds, but each beast was only “just like a dog” if the dog in question was large, disobedient, indifferently socialized, smelly, and heroically flatulent. Consequently, I have the strong suspicion that anyone who keeps a potbellied pig as a pet is a goddamned fool.

    1. “Heroically flatulent.” Thank you, I have my gem of the day.

  11. “heroically flatulent”
    Not a pair of words I’m used to seeing together. Also, band name?

    1. I collect constructions like that. “Heroically flatulent” isn’t original with me, though I forget where I got it from. “Ostentatiously stupid” (which I tend to use when discussing Shrillary Clinton) is mine, though.

      1. Not only is your construction “ostentatiously stupid” excellent, it is aptly applied. Thank you again.

  12. ostentatiously flatulent / heroically stupid…nice, like all 4, but heroically stupid is my instant fav.

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