Police Chief: Don't Let Your Children Go Outside Until Age 16

Or else they will be sex-trafficked.


Hpphoto / Dreamstime

The New Albany, Ohio, chief of police is advising parents not to let their kids go outside on their own until they are 16.

According to this piece on News10:

New Albany's police chief wants parents to understand that kids younger than 16 simply cannot defend themselves against an attacker.

Chief Greg Jones says 16 is the appropriate age to allow children to be outside by themselves. "I think that's the threshold where you see children getting a little bit more freedom," he says.

Not a lot of freedom, mind you. Just a "little bit." His stay-close-to-mommy rationale?

While the ultimate decision comes down to parents and personal preference, he says no matter how mature a child may seem, it's what happens after a child is abducted that is the greatest concern.

Not if, but when a child is abducted. That's how he's thinking of childhood: You go outside, you get abducted, and then you have to deal.

So let's take a little look at New Albany'c crime record. Here it is. Last month the town of 8,829 logged—hmmm, let me get out my calculator—two whole counts of criminal activity. One case of burglary/breaking and entering,  and one "other."

Unless that "other" was "crimes against humanity," I'm not sure just how many kids are being abducted right and left by strangers. But the chief insists: "What if you were to allow them to take off at 7 or 8 and you don't hear from them for a while, where would you begin? What would you do? How would you even know what happened to them?"

This is just a classic an example of worst-first thinking: You think of the worst-case scenario first, no matter how far-fetched, and proceed as if it's likely to happen. 

The article goes on to describe the over-subscribed SafetyTown lessons the police are giving kids, and quotes moms who are eager to instill stranger danger in their children (even though more than 90 percent of crimes against children are committed by people they know):

"We've never really had the talk with him about what to do to be cautious with other people that he doesn't know," says Shannon Jap, who enrolled her son Oliver, who is 5-years-old. "My son loves to say hi to everybody and he just goes up to people when we're in restaurants and we just want to make sure that he knows to be careful when he's talking to people," she adds.

Chief Jones says that's the ultimate goal of safety town is to teach children than bad people can seem nice too.

"Strangers aren't always mean," says the Chief.

And nice people, like police chiefs, aren't always right.

Here's how New Albany's website describes the town:

[A] vibrant, pedestrian-friendly community with an unparalleled commitment to education, wellness, culture and leisure that inspires and enriches families and businesses alike.

I'm not sure that wellness and leisure correspond with keeping kids indoors, frightened, unfriendly, and infantilized.

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    1. And just to insult the hell out of African Americans:

      “If this court rules that the University of Texas can’t consider race, we know exactly what will happen: diversity will plummet, especially among African Americans,”

      1. “diversity… among african americans”

        That couldn’t have sounded coherent even in his head.

        1. If there is anything the left doesn’t want is diversity among African Americans.

          1. Especially diversity of opinion.

            1. Whoosh is when you miss a joke. What is it when you miss the joke and then make the same joke?

              1. Deja vu all over again?

                1. Deja Berra.

                  1. Nobody goes to Deja Berra any more – the crowds are too big

        2. We need equal amounts of West, South, North, and East Africans!!

          If we don’t have equal proportions of Swazis, Libyans, Somalis, and Burkina Fasoians (or whatever the denonym for Burkina Faso is supposed to be) we might as well be racist.

    2. “If this court rules that the University of Texas can’t consider race, we know exactly what will happen: diversity will plummet, especially among African Americans,” Garre said.

      You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

      Seriously, there’s no reason this should have survived, let alone been upheld.

      1. And in other shocking news, the Baltimore cop is found not guilty of second degree murder in the Freddie Gray case.

    3. The money quote, for me?

      “Texas said the “top 10″ programme alone is not enough and it needs the freedom to fill out incoming classes as it sees fit. Gregory Garre said on behalf of the university that minority enrollment dropped at top public universities in California and Michigan after they ended the consideration of race.”

      It seems to me that this is the government simply saying that African Americans are in fact inferior, so making sure their race is a factor in getting into one of the most prestigious State schools in Texas is totally reasonable. After all, having one’s academics count the most is racist, since even Martin Luther King thought people should be judged not by the content of their character, but by the color of their skin. Am I right, or am I right? I’m right, right? Right.

      I’m sure keeping the standards lower for the inferior races won’t cause any problems like a degenerating culture or lack of reasons to strive harder in the public school system. I mean, why would it?


      1. “Minority enrollment dropped” is right up there with “the Earth is heavier now that people are fatter” and “people are connected to electronic devices all the time now” when it comes to meaningless moral-panic pearl clutching.

        I remain bemused that America’s almighty minorities rarely if ever consider creating their own platforms. It’s always “Whitey gotta let us in to theirs, or else we’ll get mad.” Do they ever consider starting their own colleges, making their own movies and TV shows about themselves, creating their own awards franchises (i.e. Black Oscars, PoC Book Awards), building businesses that serve their own communities? Not terribly often.

  1. That better not be what I think it is on that window.

      1. Thank god. Wasn’t sure if their was a perv outside the window or the kid reached puberty early.

        1. That’s how you know the kid is old enough to go outside.

  2. 16? Jesus Tap Dancing Christ

  3. Maybe I am missing something, but most people, unless they are armed, can’t defend themselves against an attacker. Just exactly what chance does a five foot two 110 pound woman have against a male attacker?

    Isn’t that why we have police forces? So that we can walk the streets without having to worry too much about being attacked?

    Just exactly what does this flatfoot think he is paid for if not to ensure that people can walk the streets safely?

    1. Given the crime rates cited in the article, he’d paid to fill a spot on the government org chart.

      1. And write tickets and do whatever else he can to bring in revenue.

        1. Ding, ding ding! Winner winner, chicken dinner!

          1. I dunno, that seems kind of cynical.


    2. Police forces to stop crimes in progress? Gary dump his blunts on your porch until November?

      1. Yeah or arrest violent people such that the crimes don’t occur in the first place. I am just such a demanding asshole about this stuff. I pay all of these taxes and expect the police to do their jobs and ensure criminals are either deterred from committing crimes or locked up so they can’t.

        1. If you can get them to do that, I’m all for it. These days, they are shakedown artists.

    3. Sorry we have police to protect the elite and generate revenue for the city. The Supreme Court has already ruled on several occasions that the police under no obligation to protect the public.

      1. This is known. As a citizen of the United States you have no expectation of protection from the Police. As a bonus, they are attempting to make sure you also don’t have the right to protect yourself.

        Not sure if this is just a logical disconnect of the government, or a program of purpose.

        One side says not to attribute malice where incompetence would suffice, but another side says foreseen consequences are not unintended consequences.

        WHO TO TRUST?!?

        1. I trust in the Lord.

          All others pay cash.


          /super old joke, updated

    4. Most police administrators I’ve ever encountered seem to see their main job to be informing people in their jurisdiction how dangerous the jurisdiction is and warning them not to feel personally safe or secure in their valuables.

    5. Maybe I am missing something, but most people, unless they are armed, can’t defend themselves against an attacker.

      Don’t let your children go to gay night clubs in FL. Certainly teach them not to greet strange alligators as well. They probably shouldn’t greet familiar alligators either.

      1. Cause the crazy, Christian, right-wing Trumpkins are gone GTICHA!

      2. Or strange gorillas. Don’t forget that.

  4. If the population of Albany, Ohio is so sick and perverted that anyone under 16 can’t go outside without protection then what leads you to believe they are any safer at home. Another sick liberal running their mouth because they think the filth fermenting inside their head is actual reality. And you give this sicko a badge and gun.

    1. It’s actually a pretty wealth community. Very little crime at all. It’s where Les Wexner (Victoria’s Secret, Pink, Limited, Bath & Body works, etc.) lives. I did hear that interview with the cop on local radio. Pretty silly, and has been treated as such.

      1. It’s a suburb of Columbus and his comments were ridiculed on local radio. I don’t think most New Albany residents would agree with this . Typical cop mentality.

  5. And if you keep kids on a leash until they’re 16, how are they supposed to have any street smarts at 16, either? Jesus H. Christ, they can “start getting a little bit of freedom” at 16? How are they supposed to handle college at 18, then?

    1. How are they supposed to handle college at 18, then?

      How? Robby posts about it every day.

      1. Not OK….

    2. Well, I think it’s obvious they expect the college student to continue living with their parents until 22-24. Then they get a little more freedom, and should maybe be allowed to live in the guest house above the garage.

      Then, around 30, they can maybe start dating.

      If you ever needed proof that Progressives haven’t really grown up any since their Protestant Protectionist roots, this as well as other stories by Robby ‘The Hair’ Soave should serve you well.

    3. If they wear burkas they’ll be safe. And if they get raped anyway, its their fault.

      1. Well. YOU saw her ankle. Who could resist that?

      2. To be fair, this is the next suburb of Columbus over from Westerville, which until 2006, was a dry town. It’s also the place where the Prohibition movement that passed the 18th amendment began. The combined derp of so-cons and liberal-progressive cry bullies is strong on the east side of the Columbus Metro area.

  6. My son loves to say hi to everybody and he just goes up to people when we’re in restaurants…

    Another parenting fail. Hey lady, believe it or not, most people do not go out to restaurants for the privilege of receiving an uninvited visit from your spawn. Control your kid or hire a babysitter.

    1. Control your kid or hire a babysitter.

      LOL. Too cheap, or too self-absorbed, to hire a babysitter. I bet she’s a poor tipper, too.

    2. Shannon Jap is a child and adolescent psychiatrist, so I think she knows what’s best.

      1. So, makes enough to afford a babysitter but chooses not to.

        1. And thinks it’s charming to allow her kid to wander about and annoy other diners.

      2. It’s really amazing that a child can become an adolescent psychiatrist nowadays. I love this country.

        1. Bright kid!

  7. [A] vibrant, pedestrian-friendly community with an unparalleled commitment to education, wellness, culture and leisure that inspires and enriches families and businesses alike.

    It’s depressing when you go to the site of the average small town burg across the US. The Statist mentality has filtered down all the way to the local level. It’s all about “services” and “programs” and “wellness” and other such drivel. It shows that it’s all pretty much over but the fighting. Of course, the statements out of the flatfoot’s mouth only reaffirms this reality. The Statist framework is now pretty much down to the Gau level, the very tips of the tentacles that emerge out of DC. All bought with grant money’s under a myriad of “titles” and all to transfer from the private sector to the public. And anyone else notice that what taxes USED to go for – sanitation, water, etc are now separately billed items to pay for? THIS is what even your local taxes are going for today – “services” that give idiots jobs and solidifies torpid fascism at the local level.


    And thanks a whole bunch to the Republicans for stemming the tide all these years. Still confused as to where the hell Trump is emerging from? Still don’t care for him, am compelled to vote for him just to piss off the pearl clutchers here at reason, but understand whole heartedly why he exists.

  8. He just doesn’t want to have to deal with kids on the street.

    1. And he picks the most complicated and costly solution.

  9. Another Mom arrested: http://www.miamiherald.com/new…..03132.html

  10. Woooooow.

    The best years of my life were between 4 and 15 roaming around with other kids playing.

    Fucking retarded these people.

    1. Yeah, and look how you ended up: a libertarian commenting on a site known for juvenile bluster about feeding judges through woodchippers. /sarc

  11. Jesus Christ, I grew up back in the golden age of satanic cultist hysteria, and nobody cared that much about kids walking home alone.

    My parents figured that if some nutjob tried to pull me into a van, then I would have the common sense to punch him in the balls and run away.

    1. The nutjob is usually wearing a blue uniform, carrying a gun.

    2. “I feared for my balls.”

      1. +1 furtive movement

  12. Police chief: Don’t let kids outside until their hormones are raging.

  13. Police Chief: Don’t Let Your Children Go Outside Until Age 16
    Or else they will be sex-trafficked.

    Because no one would ever try to “sex traffic” a smokin’ hot 16 year old chick…

    Why not make it 18, or better yet 26 (since they’re allowed to be covered under mom and dad’s insurance until then).

  14. I suggest we take up the Spartan way of life then he wouldn’t have to worry about defenseless children anymore.

    1. The use of helots runs counter to the principles we are supposed to be running this country on.

    2. Just toss them over the cliff at birth if they have even the slightest defect?

  15. New Albany’s a rich bedroom community of Columbus. I used to live in Columbus and I’m in New Albany every now and then, because the shooting range there is halfway between my daughter and me.

    The place gives me the creeps. It’s full off all the worst sorts of self-righteous busybodies with more money than sense. I’m amazed they allow an indoor shooting range, but it’s grandfathered in from New Albany’s more rural, less proggy days.

    The place is almost Stepford-quality uniform and bland, with very strict building and maintenance ordinances. It all looks like some suburban imagining of what horse farms look like (white board fences all along highway borders, etc. The place was known for having a lot of stables and horse farms. I guess it still does, but they’re hemmed in by suburban hell).

    The progs will probably succeed in driving out the shooting range, eventually. Their counterparts across Columbus in Powell (another formerly rural small-town that has becomes choked with rich, proggy idiots) managed to drive out the shooting range that was there, The Powder Room.

    1. It’s a Disney nightmare town. I live in Galena, which is nice, but still rural enough to not go completely to this level.

    2. Powell sucks. I have to drive through it to work, and they don’t understand that not coordinating the lights on Sawmill gives me no incentive to go the speed limit, since about 50.5 MPH is the right speed to not get caught at all but 1 light. Of course Columbus doesn’t understand this either.

    3. Well the Powder Room had bullets going out the back wall of the range which is what caused it’s problems more than anything. I used to shoot there. They moved to West Jeff which is actually closer to me but I haven’t been yet. The old outdoor range in West Jeff got shut down by Battelle which has a facility there that does research for the DOE ans DOD. The backstop of the range was not real high and you were shooting towards the facility so not sure if that caused an problems or not. Too bad cause they had a 300 yard lane which we have no where else in the area.

    4. Too bad, I hadn’t been there in a few years, didn’t hear that The Powder Room shut down.

  16. So, are there any actual examples (i.e. not screwed up runaway kids who end up in prostitution more or less of their own accord) of American children being abducted and forced into prostitution? Or is this just all made up?

    Sex trafficking does exist, but this hysteria about children being snatched up in nice American towns seems a bit far fetched. As far as I know people who are actually forced to be prostitutes and “trafficked” are mostly people who voluntarily enter the profession and end up controlled by some nasty pimp or people from poor countries deceived into working in foreign locations or just straight up enslaved people from really fucked up places.

  17. From ABC News Website May 8, 2013

    “According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, roughly 800,000 children are reported missing each year in the United States — that’s roughly 2,000 per day. Of those, there are 115 child “stranger abduction” cases each year, which means the child was taken by an unknown person.”

    1) That 800,000 reported missing is bullshit. To the extent that number is even remotely accurate, it probably consists mostly of mistaken reports and custody battles.

    2) So 115 children are abducted by strangers every year. 18 month olds from their cribs? 11 year olds from the front yard? 16 year olds who were looking for kicks and got mixed up with the wrong people? Who the fuck knows.

    Of the 10 children profiled in the story, 8 were probably abducted and or killed by a parent, step-parent or parent’s boyfriend/girlfriend. 1 girl was 17 and on Spring Break (is she really a “child”?) and 1 girl who was 9 years old who quite likely just packed a bag and ran away. None of these were likely abducted by strangers.


    2. That 800,000 reported missing is bullshit.

      No, I’m sure that many are reported missing. Probably, as you say, mostly custody disputes as well as runaways and over-protective parents who panic when they are late coming home.

    3. ‘800,000 children are reported missing each year in the United States — that’s roughly 2,000 per day. Of those, there are 115 child “stranger abduction” cases each year’

      So, there are like, 799,885 cases a year that are either children running away or parents freaking out over their kid being late and jumping to the conclusion they must have been abducted.

  18. related – our neighborhood community pool had a six year old use it without his parents there. After cracking his head on the diving board, the lifeguard walked the kid home (right across the street) and told the parents about the incident.

    Not a single police officer was called.


  19. Chief Greg Jones says 16 is the appropriate age to allow children to be outside by themselves. “I think that’s the threshold where you see children getting a little bit more freedom tried as adults”

  20. Turns out that Fire Marshall Bill is alive and posing as a police chief in Ohio.

  21. “My son loves to say hi to everybody and he just goes up to people when we’re in restaurants …”

    Your son is healthy and happy! What a horrible parent you are! The government should take him away from you and make him a fearful, paranoid, neurotic.

  22. New Albany’s police chief wants parents to abuse their children by locking them in tiny closets.

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