A.M. Links: Britain Votes on Exiting E.U., Gary Johnson Makes His Pitch, House Democrats Stage Pro-Gun Control 'Sit In'

Damon Root | 6.23.2016 9:00 AM

White House / Flickr.com

Britain is voting today on whether or not to leave the European Union.
"State Department staffers wrestled for weeks in December 2010 over a serious technical problem that affected emails from then-Secretary Hillary Clinton's home email server, causing them to temporarily disable security features on the government's own systems, according to emails released Wednesday."
Gary Johnson: "Why I'm running for president."
A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning.
The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to issue one or more opinions in argued cases today.
A verdict is expected today in the murder trial of Caesar Goodson, one of the Baltimore police officers charged in connection with the death of Freddie Gray.

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Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

Britain is voting today on whether or not to leave the European Union.

The Limeys haven't felt this wanted since... well, they've never felt this wanted.
1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
  
  I don't know, William the Conqueror seemed to want them pretty badly.
  1. Florida Hipster 9 years ago
    
    Gaius Suetonius Paulinus?
    1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
      
      Pronounced, 'Gay-us' right?
      1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
        
        I'm not your Gaius, buddy.
        
        thrakkorzog 9 years ago
        
        I'm not your buddy, pal.
        
        bacon-magic 9 years ago
        
        He's not your pal, mate.
        
        Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair 9 years ago
        
        Check.
      2. Florida Hipster 9 years ago
        
        I though you are a wop? Shouldn't you know how to say it?
        
        Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        No. I'm Canadian.
        
        /picks piece of corn out of head.
        
        Animal 9 years ago
        
        So, "Gay-us, eh"?
        
        Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
        
        He knows how he says it.
2. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  Regarding the Brexit vote - apparently one of the groups that is scared of a "leave" outcome is the CAGW people (warmists). Apparently it's easier to push around a large group than a number of small ones. Another reason I hope Britain votes to leave.
  1. waffles 9 years ago
    
    On the NPR this morning they interviewed a bunch of British retirees living on the beach in Spain. They want to remain because of the GBP/Euro exchange rate and the sweet cost of living adjustments to their fatty pensions. Well fuck those people. How convincing is it to tell me that Britain should remain in the EU because retired bureaucrats might suffer a little?
    1. Zeb 9 years ago
      
      More interesting was their interviews with some people in Gibraltar. A Brexit would make things interesting for Gibralterians. Spain has been somewhat hostile to them historically and the EU sort of calmed things down. A lot of the Gibraltar residents seemed to fear the possibility of Spain closing the border or making things more difficult at the border, as well as loss of business since a lot of their success comes from finance and being somewhat of a tax haven.
3. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
  
  A German paper offers bribes to the Brits:
  
  We'll acknowledge the Wembley goal
  We'll stop making jokes about Prince Charles's ears
  We'll stop using sun cream on the beach out of solidarity with your sunburn
  We'll reserve a place with our towels for you on the hotel sun-lounger
  We'll introduce tea breaks
  We'll turn our clocks back an hour to be in synch with you
  We'll do without a goalie in penalty shoot-outs with you to make it a bit more exciting
  We'll send (German national football manager) Joachim Low to guard your Crown Jewels
  We'll introduce an EU regulation banning a frothy head on beer
  We'll all come along to the Queen's 100th birthday
  We'll willingly provide the villain in every Bond film
  1. robc 9 years ago
    
    We'll acknowledge the Wembley goal
    
    Highly unlikely.
  2. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
    
    We'll do without a goalie in penalty shoot-outs with you to make it a bit more exciting
    
    Scott Sterling approves.
4. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  Hello.
  
  "Why I'm running for president."
  
  Cuz I got the shoes, bro.
5. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  That's not true, plenty of guys wanted Samantha Fox back in the day.
  1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
    
    Bad girls need love too.
  2. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
    
    I was always partial to Kim Wilde back in the day - she didn't show as much skin as Samantha Fox, but she had more of a Benataresque edge.
Bee Tagger 9 years ago

The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to issue one or more opinions in argued cases today.

Some people sure think pretty highly of themselves.
1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  Their feelz are totally worth $244,400 plus lifetime security detail, pension and cadillac medical plan.
  1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
    
    Pay them double that if they'll go away.
Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago

196) I was doing some research on Venezuela, as apparently a new poll shows as many as 30 percent of Venezuelans are only eating one to two meals per day. Anyway, I came across this article by TeleSUR, which if you don't know, is a pan-Latin America satellite TV channel supported by Latin America's leftist countries.

This shit is comedy gold. First, it claims "there is not hunger in Venezuela, as defined by international standards" because average calorie consumption "has fallen back to 2,200 [daily calories] in 2015." So, you know, because government officials are eating like 4,000 calories a day or whatever, it doesn't matter if people are eating one meal, because it all averages out. See?

Actually, Venezuelans are better off: "activists involved in urban agriculture and other alternative food initiatives argue strongly that Venezuelans are being forced to eat more healthily. They say there is less overeating?with more fiber and more vitamins." Don't worry, starving Venezuelans, just think how healthy your new lifestyle is! All that fiber!
1. Slammer 9 years ago
  
  new poll shows as many as 30 percent of Venezuelans are only eating one to two meals per day.
  
  Do pets count?
  1. Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago
    
    In terms of number of meals eaten/day or in terms of emergency meals when a family runs out of food?
2. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  "there is not hunger in Venezuela, as defined by international standards"
  
  LOL. Only lefties would think that someone with an empty belly needs some UN bureaucrat to tell him he's hungry.
  1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    Pepe: I'm hungry.
    
    UN bureaucrat (looks down on notes): No, you're not.
    
    Lefty journalist (bites into apricot): Beat it kid. I have an article to write about starvation.
  2. Overt 9 years ago
    
    Well, to be fair to them, they think it is an example of "MARKET FAILURE" when the poor in this country are "insecure" about where they'll get their next meal. So if your geography is right, they'll be extremely concerned.
    1. WTF 9 years ago
      
      And "lack of variety" counts as "food insecurity". They need to fake the stats this way because otherwise they wouldn't be able to claim there was "hunger" in the US.
  3. Zeb 9 years ago
    
    So, everything is OK in a once fairly prosperous country because they are comparably well off to most highly impoverished, undeveloped countries. Yay.
  4. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
    
    The ultimate in Mansplaining. Metamansplaining.
    1. LarryA 9 years ago
      
      MetamucilSplaining.
3. Agammamon 9 years ago
  
  "more fiber and vitamins'
  
  Cardboard and stone soup?
4. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
  
  They were getting too fat from eating toilet paper
  1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
    
    Lots of fiber.
5. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  "The toilet paper ran out before the food, so that was kind of awkward. Then we switched to eating the couch cushions, and that solved both problems, it just wiped itself on the way out."
6. Bill Dalasio 9 years ago
  
  How do they write that sort of shit and live with themselves?
Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago

A verdict is expected today in the murder trial of Caesar Goodson, one of the Baltimore police officers charged in connection with the death of Freddie Gray.

He says like we don't already know what the verdict will be.
1. WTF 9 years ago
  
  Was he wearing a government uniform? Yes?
  Not fucking guilty!!
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning.

When they realized spending that much time with House Democrats was intolerable.
1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  I'm usually not a "law and order" type, especially against non-violent protestors, but I was really hoping some cops would show up and kick some skulls in here.
  1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
    
    Shame! Shame! Shame Derp-o-Matic 5000! Shame!
    1. Princess Trigger 9 years ago
      
      Shame, Shame, Shame
      http://i.makeagif.com/media/7-08-2015/-nUj2H.gif
      1. bacon-magic 9 years ago
        
        I thought they were saying "chain, chain, chain...chain of fools"
        The more you know
  2. Rich 9 years ago
    
    They should at least have been hauled off for contempt of Congress.
    1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
      
      We're all guilty of that.
    2. Zeb 9 years ago
      
      Self-hating congresscritters?
2. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  Well, since SCOTUS has already ruled that there is no longer anything such thing as false arrest, I can't see how the driver is going to be held accountable. It's not like he was in the back of the van hitting him or anything.
  1. SugarFree 9 years ago
    
    That was for the post above. Dammit.
    1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
      
      Too late. That counts as a reply to - and therefore interest in - me.
      1. Jimbo 9 years ago
        
        He seems to have a lot of interest in you. Is he Gaius?
3. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
  
  Dog forbid actual private citizens try this stunt. There deffo would be some skulls kicked if that were the case.
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

Online gun shop sells 30,000 AR-15 semi-automatic rifles in one week after Orlando shooting

The owner of Hunter's Warehouse, Tom Engle, told Fox Business: "In particular the AR-15 has been selling very, very well. Shootings don't push up gun sales

"It's when the government starts talking about banning particular guns and up go gun sales.

"When people lose their right to buy a particular gun or a particular type of gun, they go after them and they want them then."

Rifles such as the AR-15 were banned in the United States by the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban.
1. WTF 9 years ago
  
  Rifles such as the AR-15 were banned in the United States by the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban.
  
  No, they weren't. Certain features that proggies found scary-looking were banned.
2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  SHUT THE SELLERS DOWN!
  
  Who wants to have a sit-in with me!
  1. Lord Humungus 9 years ago
    
    Is this a Canadian sexual euphemism?
    1. Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
      
      Only if you are a Newfie.
      1. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
        
        Which also sounds like a Canadian sexual euphemism
        
        Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        Great. Now the Aussies are in on the act.
        
        Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        IFH, we're part of the Commonwealth. Don't get pulled in with this revolutionary Yankee filth.
        
        bacon-magic 9 years ago
        
        My kentucky long rifle will make you eat those words, Canadian. Or poutine if you like, eh?
        
        UnCivilServant 9 years ago
        
        No, they have their own antipodian euphemisms.
        
        thrakkorzog 9 years ago
        
        Are Australian euphemisms as deadly as eveything else in Australia?
        
        invisible furry hand 9 years ago
        
        I honestly don't think we create euphemisms - we import our weasel words from abroad, it seems. Our slang is our poetry - similes and metaphors, often brutally honest - interspersed with diminutives. Many, many diminutives.
        
        commodious spittoon 9 years ago
        
        Great. Now the Aussies are in on the act.
        
        That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?
        
        Nephilium 9 years ago
        
        It's obvious... The Aristocrats!
    2. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
      
      Is this a Canadian sexual euphemism?
      
      I'm partial to the Saskatoon Totem Pole, but the Newfoundland Lobster Trap is OK too.
3. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
  
  Rifles such as the AR-15 were banned in the United States by the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban.
  
  If they were banned, why do people have them? 😀
Bee Tagger 9 years ago

Gary Johnson: "Why I'm running for president."

I didn't think "I'm" was the contraction for "am I"
1. Elspeth Flashman 9 years ago
  
  You mean, he meant to say "Why, am I running for president?" Punctuation matters.
2. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
  
  So you're saying he meant to say, "Why am I running for president?" Trying using italics next time.
3. Zeb 9 years ago
  
  He's answering the question, not asking it. I would hope he knows why at this point.
Bee Tagger 9 years ago

Britain is voting today on whether or not to leave the European Union.

They're taking their talents to Southampton.
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

Kim says missile launch gives North Korea 'capability' to attack US in Pacific

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un trumpeted the success of a powerful new midrange ballistic missile test that state media said Thursday propelled one of the weapons more than 870 miles high, saying it would allow strikes on U.S. forces throughout the region.

That ability would back up years of threats and boasts from North Korea and has long been a worry for the United States and its allies, Tokyo and Seoul. It explains in part North Korea's tenacious testing of the Musudan missile, which was only a success after five failures in about two months. The missile's potential 2,180-mile range puts much of Asia and the Pacific within reach.

After observing the launch, Kim said it gives his country the "sure capability to attack in an overall and practical way the Americans in the Pacific operation theatre," according to the official Korean Central News Agency.
1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
  
  "propelled one of the weapons more than 870 miles high"
  
  Too bad US armed forced aren't located 870 miles in the air, then the Norks might have something.
  1. Trials and Trippelations 9 years ago
    
    Preparing for Daenerys' invasion?
  2. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    He's attacking our moon base!
  3. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    That's not how that works, JATNAS. Seriously, dude, that's an embarrassing comment.
    1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
      
      Good thing I didn't number that one.
      1. Tonio 9 years ago
        
        Brave even in defeat. I like that.
    2. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
      
      I snorted.
2. WTF 9 years ago
  
  Kim said it gives his country the "sure capability to attack in an overall and practical way the Americans in the Pacific operation theatre
  
  To be followed by the sure capability to be turned into ash by the retaliation.
  1. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    A NORK attack on US forces in Okinawa or particularly Guam would provide all the excuse we'd need to glass Pyong Yang. The loss of life would be regrettable, particularly for the civilians (US, Japanese and Korean), but would finally resolve this situation and improve the lives of many others.
  2. Pope Jimbo 9 years ago
    
    They won't attack US forces in the pacific. They will drop one on downtown Tokyo and South Korea will clap wildly.
    
    No love lost between either Koreas or Japan.
    1. Zeb 9 years ago
      
      Yeah, but South Korea would know that Seoul is probably in for it after that if the US gets involved, which it will, so I doubt they'd cheer too much.
3. Overt 9 years ago
  
  Didn't this missile test FAIL?
  
  I seem to remember reading a couple years ago about how the US had developed an airborne laser system mounted on a 747 that was specifically used to shoot down missiles during its boost phase. Was that vaporware, or are we the reason these nork missiles keep falling out of the sky?
  1. Agammamon 9 years ago
    
    Neither. And its not 'developed', its *was* 'developing' and is now 'cancelled'.
    
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_YAL-1
    1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
      
      Not completely dead; they're working on a drone.
      
      Power of the laser is the significant problem now.
  2. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    I haven't heard much about that recently, but we probably have at least some capability. There are many other reasons their missiles could be failing, some of which we might have something to do with. I think the greatest danger here is NK selling those missiles to others who might use them to attack non-US targets.
    1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
      
      Who are they going to sell shitty missles to? Every other country that wants a missle program already has a better missile program. Do you think the Russians or Chinese want to buy shitty NK missiles? The Norks have the 'hold my beer and watch this' of missile programs.
      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
        
        The Iranians use NK missiles. As do a number of other ME countries. The Norks no longer sell many systems, because of US pressure, but they do still sell parts and maintenance.
      2. Tonio 9 years ago
        
        Sub-national actors. Think ISIS. Also, what Bob says below.
4. straffinrun 9 years ago
  
  I speak Korean, so let me help you out. Musudan directly translated means "Has accuracy of a one legged drunk at urinal".
  1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
    
    I know this is incorrect because there's nothing about strong winds or fish farming in there.
Bee Tagger 9 years ago

A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning.

Who was the real slim shady that stood up?
1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  Ain't nobody got time for that.
  1. straffinrun 9 years ago
    
    Set that to some sax.
    1. Lee G 9 years ago
      
      I laughed too hard at that.
      1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
        
        That was really funny.
invisible furry hand 9 years ago

Swedish footballer sent off for farting during match

more
1. Slammer 9 years ago
  
  My wife just red-carded me
  1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
    
    Did you spend ten minutes clutching your ankle like a true pro?
    1. Agent Cooper 9 years ago
      
      Or face. Clutching the face is an Italian speciality.
2. straffinrun 9 years ago
  
  Fire hazard.
3. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
  
  Man, I always figured athletes on the field were letting loose pretty much all the time. C'mon, football players in the huddle, you don't think they're letting out a little butt music?
  1. Drake 9 years ago
    
    I've heard and smelled horrible things in rugby scrums.
    1. Elspeth Flashman 9 years ago
      
      He who smelt it dealt it!
      1. Drake 9 years ago
        
        Yeah - I did deal a few. But I had a Prop who used to swig peppermint snapps before games then belch during the scrummages. Once he really started sweating it out things got rough.
        
        Elspeth Flashman 9 years ago
        
        Eww!
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to issue one or more opinions in argued cases today.

Are we going to see any 4-4 splits or are justices taking up the slack for Scalia?
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

GOP cuts bait, moves to adjourn House until July 5

After that, Republicans adjourned the House again, but not before issuing a warning that members aren't allowed to record from within the House chamber when the House is not in session, a clear reference to the Democrats' Periscope broadcasts.

With that, the GOP called it a week instead of working normal hours Thursday and Friday. The House was originally set to be in session until Friday, and then out next week for the July 4 recess.

But Democrats immediately kept up their protest in the House just moments after the House session officially ended, although their ranks thinned out as the night wore on.

Republicans declared victory by touting their passage of the Zika legislation, which must still clear a 60-vote hurdle in the Senate.
1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  If the Dems were actually serious about any of this, they'd be negotiating or accepting the more limited proposals offered by the Republicans in the Senate. But all they care about is the fawning media attention they get from these theatrics.
  1. Lee G 9 years ago
    
    I am SO DAMNED proud of them. Feeling really proud to be a Democrat right now. These representatives have really lifted my spirits!
    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
      
      Jesus F. Christ, why do I always click on your DU links? The derp is overwhelming over there.
      1. Lee G 9 years ago
        
        Not DU
        
        The script for this bit of political theater includes the chant, "No fly, no buy." Should this be understood as a Democratic embrace of the unfair "no fly list"? Nope. No legislation will come out of this protest. The sit-in is political theater that is meant to "dramatize" ? as John Lewis carefully put it ? Republicans' refusal to do their jobs.
        
        Lord Humungus 9 years ago
        
        Balloon Juice? Scraping the bottom of the fevered internet barrel, eh?
        
        commodious spittoon 9 years ago
        
        I hope that's nothing like a balloon knot.
        
        Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
        
        I hope that's nothing like a balloon knot.
        
        Me too, considering that's medical slang for a testicular torsion.
        
        SugarFree 9 years ago
        
        Balloon Juice is the internet equivalent of a letting a racoon shit in your mouth.
        
        Lee G 9 years ago
        
        Don't judge me.
        
        bacon-magic 9 years ago
        
        Ejoiner says:
        June 23, 2016 at 9:37 am
        
        Need some help! I'm in a "discussion" with a very patriotic gun lover who has ? suddenly ? started spouting off about gun control and it's attack on the 5th Amendment/due process. I can't find any arguments against his interpretation since my google-fu is weak and I keep getting NRA sponsored/supporting articles and links. Anybody please send links or post a response explaining this to me (when I asked for an explanation he said ? seriously ? just remember that the laws of the Constitution always trump emotional appeals.) Thanks in advance!
        
        From this cake for free sight you posted. FFS
    2. Rhywun 9 years ago
      
      Not clicking that, but is there any acceptance in there of the fact none of these laws would have prevented any of the shootings related to the bodies onto which they are climbing?
      1. Lee G 9 years ago
        
        Hell no. In fact, half of the reason they're celebrating is because it distracts from Trump's speech on Clinton.
        
        This is pure sports mentality.
      2. Elspeth Flashman 9 years ago
        
        Why would there be? The acceptance has nothing to do with the Dem's playbook.
    3. Free Society 9 years ago
      
      Gabby Giffords wrote another letter. I have no doubt that it's full of incoherent ramblings and some social posturing befitting a small child with an extra chromosome. I say that because of course she's a progressive.
      1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
        
        Gabby Giffords at least has the excuse that she has suffered massive head trauma. What's everybody else's excuse?
        
        Animal 9 years ago
        
        Stupidity?
        
        commodious spittoon 9 years ago
        
        Cynical political posturing.
        
        The dumb ones are their voters.
    4. Zeb 9 years ago
      
      It's so great that these former civil rights leaders are now agitating against civil rights. Woo!
Rich 9 years ago

Trump said in a speech Wednesday that Clinton's email server "was easily hacked by foreign governments."

He was just using Clinton-speak: What he meant was the server was vulnerable to easy hacking.
1. WTF 9 years ago
  
  Actually, I think he really meant that foreign governments had an easy time hacking her server.
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    WDATPDIM?
    1. WTF 9 years ago
      
      Fucking Youtube videos!
Hamster of Doom 9 years ago

A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning.

They kept waiting for cops to show up with tear gas and the water cannon so they could link arms and sing We Shall Overcome.
1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
  
  According to the fairly breathless Slate coverage, they did indeed sing We Shall Overcome. I guess the tear gas is optional in such cases.
  1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
    
    Bless their little cotton socks. Their bodyguards never let them have any fun.
Tonio 9 years ago

causing them to temporarily disable security features on the government's own systems

So, some IT admin is going to take the fall as a proxy for herself. This situation is beyond infuriating.
1. WTF 9 years ago
  
  And the admin will be pardoned by Herself, of course.
  1. Agent Cooper 9 years ago
    
    Uh, no. They'll rot in jail.
2. Rich 9 years ago
  
  This situation is beyond infuriating.
  
  Ahem. Let the Republicans stage a sit-in and sing "We Shall Prosecute Some Day".
  1. Free Society 9 years ago
    
    They want prosecute. Hilary will not face indictment no matter what she does.
  2. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    No, I don't think she'll be prosecuted unless Trump wins; perhaps not even then. But if she wins, and the GOP retains control of Congress then we might see her impeached.
3. Furburguesa 9 years ago
  
  If she gave her email password to Pagliano, she is guilty of Treason, which obviously she did so he could set up the server.
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

Justin Amash Verified account
?@justinamash

My mom grew up under an authoritarian regime in Syria that used secret lists to deny rights. Shameful that some in Congress demand same.
1. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  Boom. But nobody will listen. All they see is crying moms.
  1. Lee G 9 years ago
    
    All they see is a wedge issue.
2. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  Is it too late to replace Gary Johnson with Amash?
  1. Trials and Trippelations 9 years ago
    
    PURIST!!!1!
  2. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    I think he'd make a really good presidential candidate, and we might see him run someday, but for the moment he is much more useful as a congressman.
    1. Rhywun 9 years ago
      
      He can come carpetbagging into NY any time.
      1. Tonio 9 years ago
        
        It's only carpetbagging when a Yankee moves to the South. But he is totally hot, which would help him in a presidential election. What's the hotness boost - five percent of the popular vote?
        
        Rhywun 9 years ago
        
        he is totally hot
        
        I just want to vote for him, not sleep with him.
        
        Elspeth Flashman 9 years ago
        
        I can! Vote for him, that is.
        
        Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
        
        He's a good lookin' dude. I think Rand Paul is hotter. Thomas Massie is cute as a button.
3. Eternal Blue Sky 9 years ago
  
  Reading his Twitter feed is pretty good. A bunch of Blue Tribesmen responded with things like "Well than why haven't you Republicans called for ending the no fly list??"
  
  He's responded to every one by linking to legislation put forward by him a month-and-a-half ago that seeks to do just that.
  
  "I can do this all night, folks."
  1. DOOMco 9 years ago
    
    But remember, the libertarian camp in the right is really just evil and racist.
Slammer 9 years ago

Eva Colen
?
@evacolen
At Union Station in DC. Just fled the building w 100s of others bc we thought we heard gunshots?it was a bicycle tire. PLEASE PASS GUN LAWS.
1. Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago
  
  We are sinful creatures. We deserve death. We all do.
2. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
  
  BAN ALL ASSAULT BICYCLES!!!
3. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  I AM AFRAID. PLEASE PASS POLITICIAN CONTROL LAWS.
  1. lap83 9 years ago
    
    Me too! I thought a politician had a gun in his pocket but it was just Bill Clinton. PLEASE BAN POLITICIANS.
    1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
      
      Obama was on the TV, waving around a pen like it couldn't just go off any second. WHY DOES NO ONE CARE?
4. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  "Save us from our self-generated panic!"
5. straffinrun 9 years ago
  
  They hate bicycle tires. Stay away from the tires!
6. RBS 9 years ago
  
  Eva Colen ?@evacolen 19h19 hours ago
  Y'all, I do NOT want to take yr guns away. Just want to know that folks who shouldn't have em don't get em. NRA has really freaked you out.
  
  Who is freaked out?
  1. Auric Demonocles 9 years ago
    
    I do NOT want to take yr guns away. Just want to know that folks who shouldn't have em don't get em.
    
    Uh.... Does she honestly think she's making a coherent argument here?
    1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
      
      Does she honestly think
      
      No.
    2. Free Society 9 years ago
      
      Look, just give the gun controllers the inch of territory they're demanding. I'm sure once they get that, they'll go away and leave us alone. The End.
  2. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
    
    You'd think people in DC would know what actual gunfire sounds like!
    1. DOOMco 9 years ago
      
      Baaaaammm
7. Gojira 9 years ago
  
  I'm confused. How does passing gun restrictions in any way affect this woman's stupidity? It isn't even a law mandating that everyone become smarter; it's totally unrelated to her retardation.
  
  Oh, I understand. Because she's retarded, she is incorrectly associating legislation about guns with legislation about her stupidity. Those wacky retards, is there anything they can't screw up?
  1. Auric Demonocles 9 years ago
    
    I think she's under the impression that gun control laws would stop bicycle tires from making loud noises.
  2. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    I was about to comment the same thing. Apparently, people's rights should be taken away because she's paranoid and stupid.
    1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
      
      Well, since she can't tell the difference, we obviously need common sense bike control laws.
8. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  I can't even. What was some kid riding around baseball cards, and you can tell the difference between that and automatic gunfire?
  1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
    
    Baseball cards in the spokes!
    
    Ah sounds of our youth! The things that gave us pleasure, huh?
    1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
      
      By the time I was old enough to collect baseball cards, no kid would put them in his bicycle spokes, as the sure-to-appreciate collectibles were all being hoarded for resale. I still have a box of thousands of pristine 80s and 90s baseball cards somewhere that are probably worth about $1.80 total.
      1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        What, that Ken Oberkfelll card didn't appreciate in value?
      2. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
        
        Sure we did. I, for one, kept Jose Canseco cards sacred to this very purpose.
        
        DrZaius 9 years ago
        
        +1 Ken Griffey Jr Upper Deck rookie card.
        
        Agent Cooper 9 years ago
        
        Still have it.
        
        *waiting for the market to come back around*
  2. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    some kid riding around baseball cards
    
    That's charmingly quaint, gramps. [snickers] I think what she meant was a bicycle innertube popping. That can be quite loud and I'm sure sounds just like a gunshot to Cohen and other hoplophobe hysterics.
    1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
      
      Just wait - fireworks season is starting.
      
      She'll need a lot of diapers for that.
      1. SugarFree 9 years ago
        
        My sister-in-law's dog is frightened by fireworks. She licks the walls and whines. I can see Eva doing the same.
        
        Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
        
        And Shreek.
    2. lap83 9 years ago
      
      Doesn't DC have pretty high crime? You'd think they'd be more familiar with what a gunshot sounds like
      1. Tonio 9 years ago
        
        Incident was at Union Station so it's quite possible that she lives in the 'burbs and commutes in.
        
        LarryA 9 years ago
        
        And give Union Station's acoustics, sounds echo louder.
9. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  /face palm.
10. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
  
  Her fight or flight and tweet response kicked in.
  1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
    
    Ha.
11. Lord Humungus 9 years ago
  
  So... gun laws would make you think an exploding tires is an exploding tire, not a gun?
  
  okay... *backs away slowly*
  1. lap83 9 years ago
    
    In fairness, taking guns away from law abiding people could increase gun-related crimes and result in her becoming more familiar with the sound.
12. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  HEAD ON A SWIVEL
13. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  She has that Innsmouth look about her.
  1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
    
    Would.
    1. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      Now, buddy, you never stick it in crazy. If her frothy ranting isn't enough to convince you, look at those eyes. Totes cray-cray.
      1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
        
        She's a cutie. I'd get her consent in writing, of course.
    2. Free Society 9 years ago
      
      Only if she kidnapped me and raped me on the mothership. Otherwise I don't have sex with aliens.
      1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
        
        Not even this alien?
        
        Free Society 9 years ago
        
        That alien is just a grey square without form. So...no.
    3. SugarFree 9 years ago
      
      I guarantee you she has hairy arms.
      1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
        
        Please, go on.
      2. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
        
        Go on...
  2. Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
    
    She looks like Leonard's sister from Redneck Rampage. Wouldn't touch her with Tony's diseased pecker.
    1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
      
      Says the man with the smoking hot eastern European wife. Some of us have to settle for less.
      
      But seriously, she has that mousy look I dig.
  3. dantheserene 9 years ago
    
    Is that some wacky filter the kids are using these days, or what? Her head can't possibly be supported by that neck. Also, she's clearly not all there so it doesn't matter how cute she is.
14. Free Society 9 years ago
  
  Y'all, I do NOT want to take yr guns away. Just want to know that folks who shouldn't have em don't get em. NRA has really freaked you out.
  
  Yes it was the NRA who convinced me that the left wants to take my guns away. But I feel safe now, this one proggy claims she doesn't want to take my guns away, she just wants some reasonable common sense restrictions placed on my gun rights. Let's give her what she wants, and they'll stop coming after our guns, right?
15. Peace Be Upon [REDACTED], Jr. 9 years ago
  
  @evacolen
  At Union Station in DC. Just fled the building w 100s of others bc we thought we heard gunshots?it was a bicycle tire. PLEASE PASS GUN LAWS.
  
  Once the gun laws pass - because, you know, there are no existing gun laws in place at the moment - an identical incident will occur and no one will freak out because there laws are protecting them. LAWS.
  1. Peace Be Upon [REDACTED], Jr. 9 years ago
    
    or even "...there are laws protecting them."
    
    KM-W, are you gonna get us that edit button or not!?
16. Zeb 9 years ago
  
  Yeah, no one has anything to fear in countries with gun laws. Just ask the French.
17. Juice 9 years ago
  
  Maybe you should take a look at the very strict (and still unconstitutional) DC gun laws, dear.
Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago

A verdict is expected today in the murder trial of Caesar Goodson, one of the Baltimore police officers charged in connection with the death of Freddie Gray.

Prediction: Early retirement with full pension benefits and a commendation from the mayor.
UnCivilServant 9 years ago

I want one: https://youtu.be/hyh4dayfXQQ
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

That polar-grizzly bear hybrid wasn't a hybrid at all

Most experts incorrectly predicted the bear was either a grolar or pizzly, which is determined based upon whether the father is a polar or grizzly. All hybrids discovered thus far have had grizzly fathers, according to the Washington Post.

A wildlife manager for the government of Nunavut, Mathieu Dumond, told CBC News, "it's so rare that unfortunately I think nobody has a lot of experience in identifying a hybrid from the first sight."

The northern Canadian territory identified the bear by collecting a tissue sample, and then submitting it for DNA analysis at a genetics lab. The analysis found that the bear didn't have any polar bear parent, and was just a blond grizzly bear, which Dumond says is significantly less rare than a hybrid.
1. waffles 9 years ago
  
  How could they just take this away from me? I had a whole furry erotica series planned out based on this scenario. Well I guess my fans are just going to have to suspend their disbelief.
  1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
    
    Between furries and SJWs, Tumblr is going to be responsible for the downfall of Western civilization.
  2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
    
    I think you can still win a few sci-fi awards with your story. Just copy and paste the Grizzlies with a Velociraptor, and you can probably win a Hugo.
2. Free Society 9 years ago
  
  Yet this modern romance may be the demise of polar bears, according to Derocher. "I hate to say it, but from a genetic perspective, it's quite likely grizzly bears will eat polar bears up, genetically."
  
  Wait, isn't that racist? Nevermind...
Rich 9 years ago

A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning

in a hail of bullets, uh, *ballots*?
1. Slammer 9 years ago
  
  Hail of Bullets
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

State Department staffers wrestled for weeks in December 2010 over a serious technical problem that affected emails from then-Secretary Hillary Clinton's home email server, causing them to temporarily disable security features on the government's own systems...

Weakening protections on secure servers to accommodate an unsecure one... Not a good look.
1. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
  
  How would you know? Have you completed 1000 hours of beautician training?
2. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
  
  Hilary's server was probably red flagged as compromised and that's why government servers couldn't accept her email. 😀
Veritas et Libertas 9 years ago

"House Democrats Stage Pro-Gun Control 'Sit In'"

I am not entirely familiar with the legislative process but could the house republicans not have proposed a bill using the exact same wording as Feinstein used in the senate and just simply title it the "Denying minorities their second amendment and due process rights act of 2016" and then bring the bill up for a vote?
1. Rich 9 years ago
  
  This is not just some kind of silly game, V.
  1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
    
    It's not silly, anyway...
    
    Wait, yes it is.
2. Veritas et Libertas 9 years ago
  
  Watching the periscope feed of a congressman yell at the top of his lungs "why do you want terrorist to kill people" repeatedly seems kind of silly to me.
  1. Rich 9 years ago
    
    Oh, I agree. What I meant was it's some kind of ridiculous, tragic game.
  2. Veritas et Libertas 9 years ago
    
    "Comedy is tragedy plus time." So I will give it another week before this all becomes silly then?
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

who?

Tom Morello Stands Up to Trump, Calls the Presidential Candidate a 'Frat House Rapist'

Yesterday afternoon, Gothamist reported that Donald Trump had been accused in a federal lawsuit of repeatedly raping a 13-year-old girl. It's not the first time that Donald Trump has been accused of rape and sexual assault, either. Feels like it should be big news.

Well, here's Tom Morello's take on the walking flatulence in an introduction to a Ryan Harvey track called "Old Man Trump." The track itself draws on Woody Guthrie's 1950s tirades against Trump Sr. and was approved by Woody Guthrie Publications. Proceeds from the track go to CK Team Relief and the Baltimore Right to Housing Alliance; these are good reasons to go ahead and download the track here.

Now the Prophets of Rage guitarist has released a video to go alongside it, too. He states, quite planly, that, "When it comes to race relations, he's like an old-school segregationist; when it comes to foreign policy, he's like an old-school napalmist; when it comes to women's issues, he's like a frat house rapist. So, let's not elect that guy."
1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  He's a good guitarist with shitty politics.
  1. Juice 9 years ago
    
    He's a total socialist. Probably gave Chavez head.
2. RBS 9 years ago
  
  The track itself draws on Woody Guthrie's 1950s tirades against Trump Sr. and was approved by Woody Guthrie Publications
  
  Something about this sentence is incredibly funny.
3. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  A millionaire communist who lives in Rob Lowe's old house.
4. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  I heard that Tom Morello has been accused in a federal lawsuit of repeatedly raping many thirteen-year-old girls.
  1. spqr2008 9 years ago
    
    And he helped Craig James kill 5 hookers at SMU as well.
Rich 9 years ago

A verdict is expected today in the murder trial of Caesar Goodson, one of the Baltimore police officers charged in connection with the death of Freddie Gray.

So stay TF out of Balmer today, Hon.
1. Drake 9 years ago
  
  That's a good rule for every day.
2. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  Late afternoon t-storms might suppress turnout and fire damage.
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

Florida officials say they are sure they've euthanized alligator that killed toddler

Based on the observances of investigators, the state agency said that trappers captured three alligators believed to be of similar size as the one that snatched and killed Lane and two of those alligators were near the attack site. Two of the alligators were capable of inflicting the type of wounds that the little boy suffered, the agency said in a statement.

"The FWC is confident that the alligator responsible for the attack has been removed," read a statement released Wednesday. "This conclusion is based on expert analyses and observations by staff with extensive experience in investigating fatal alligator bite incidents."
1. The Fusionist 9 years ago
  
  "This conclusion is based on expert analyses and observations by staff with extensive experience in investigating fatal alligator bite incidents."
  
  If the alligator shoe fits...
  1. Mr Lizard 9 years ago
    
    *withering narrow reptile gaze*
    
    That was my cousin, granted he was an asshole...but still
    1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
      
      Really? You're going to get worked up over that? How many cousins have you got, after all?
      1. Mr Lizard 9 years ago
        
        Fine, I'll just go eat one of your cousins and see how you feel.
        
        spqr2008 9 years ago
        
        Sure, just on my father's side of the family, okay?
  2. dantheserene 9 years ago
    
    Does bite mark analysis actually work for alligators? That would be a change from humans.
    1. spqr2008 9 years ago
      
      Possibly, since alligators lose teeth all the time, they would presumably have very different bite marks.
2. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  Stick it's head on a pike as a warning to the rest. That'll teach 'em.
3. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  "Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock."
4. Rich 9 years ago
  
  I thought "bite analysis" had been debunked.
  1. SugarFree 9 years ago
    
    "This was no boating accident."
    1. Rich 9 years ago
      
      "One thing's sure: The kid's dead, murdered, and some alligator's responsible!"
    2. Gojira 9 years ago
      
      Was it a coral reef?
      
      What about Jack the Ripper?
5. Rhywun 9 years ago
  
  LOL do they think alligators have mens rea now? I get the need to prevent further chompings but this kind of revenge killing rubs me the wrong way. Either put up a fence or kill all of them.
  1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    Both - fence the human areas and kill all of the gators inside the perimeter.
  2. Tonio 9 years ago
    
    It's not a revenge killing so much as a prudent move. We are exerting evolutionary pressure on them to not eat humans.
    1. Rhywun 9 years ago
      
      The guilty one probably doesn't even remember eating a human. These guys aren't that bright.
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

"Why I'm running for president."

Because it's gonna take a Canadian to clean up America.
John 9 years ago

http://www.theblaze.com/storie.....ith-a-gun/

NBC producer describes would be Trump assassin as "good guy with a gun". They so want to engage in violence but lack the courage or the skill to do so themselves.
1. Rich 9 years ago
  
  So, Mr. Mowrer can expect a visit from the Secret Service, right? RIGHT?!
  1. WTF 9 years ago
    
    Well, he wasn't referring to a Democrat, so no.
  2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
    
    I'm sure Preet will be knocking on his door any day now
Rich 9 years ago

An Open Letter to Congress from the Music Industry

Require a background check for every gun sale

so that problem people well-known to the authorities can buy guns anyway.
1. WTF 9 years ago
  
  These people actually believe that most gun sales are not subject to background checks.
2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  I smell Gun-Control Aid. What's Bob Geldoff doing these days? Round up the usual suspects. Dixie Chicks, Springsteen, Morello, Pearl Jam and all the other leftist millionaire rock stars speaking truth to power.
  
  BECAUSE COMMON SENSE DEMANDS IT.
3. John 9 years ago
  
  In other words, make it a felony for your grandfather to give you the family shotgun.
  1. spqr2008 9 years ago
    
    Or for instance, for my uncle to inherit his father's (my step-grandfather's) family heirloom Kentucky long rifle, which was used in the Revolutionary War by his ancestors. It actually does still work, but is a pity to fire, since it's beautifully painted and lacquered at this point. I think the mechanical parts have been fully replaced in the last century (Step-grandpa's dad was a big local historian and amateur archaeologist).
Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago

What an embarrassment.

"A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning."

Did I mention what an utter embarrassment?

They sang 'We shall overcome'?

Embarrassing. Even for Democrats.
1. Drake 9 years ago
  
  We shall overcome Constitutional Rights!
2. Rhywun 9 years ago
  
  I could see them losing every swing district in the next election.
  1. Free Society 9 years ago
    
    Swingers tend to vote Democrat.
  2. Drake 9 years ago
    
    All states that are fairly pro-gun, so yes.
    1. Rhywun 9 years ago
      
      I'm thinking the House. Even blue states like NY have lots of gun-friendly districts.
Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago

Gary Johnson: "Why I'm running for president."

Because this is the year of the third party and someone has to squander that opportunity.
1. Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
  
  Fist of Candidate has a certain ring to it....
  
  But then, so does Fist of Candida, which is much more likely (see a doctor for that).
  1. Fist of Etiquette 9 years ago
    
    Just don't call me Fist of Canada Late for Dinner.
    1. Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
      
      I will *never* (even though the syllables fit) call you *that*. heheh!
Gojira 9 years ago

A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning.

So they got the legislation passed? Or did they just give the fuck up?

Man, how would the 60s have turned out if all the protesters just gave up after a day or two and left of their own accord.
1. Rich 9 years ago
  
  They probably maxed out their adult diapers.
  
  I was hoping this would go on for days, ensuring a Republican congress.
  1. Auric Demonocles 9 years ago
    
    It's not treasonous obstruction when the Democrats do it. It's noble fighting the power or something.
  2. straffinrun 9 years ago
    
    Ahhh, Twain. Need to be changed often and for the same reasons.
2. Auric Demonocles 9 years ago
  
  They got their names all over the media and people's Facebook. They "did something". That's all they actually cared about (if they actually cared about this issue so much that they would hold a sit in until something passed they would have cared about it 3 weeks ago too).
  1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
    
    Ah, the People's Facebook. Suddenly, it all make sense.
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

Actually I believe they will... heck they are already half-way there (at least from my point of view).

Democrats: We Shall Overcome The Constitution
An unprecedented act of pretend bravery

But the message was clear. If we recklessly cling to the presumption of innocence, the terrorists have already won. If we fail to let bureaucrats create extrajudicial secret government lists that deny Americans their right to due process, we are, in essence, selling ISIS weapons of mass destruction.

Civil rights-era heroes like John Lewis, who lent his considerable legacy to this vacuous grandstanding, was once himself on the terror watch list. He didn't know how he got on it. He didn't know how to get off of it. Yet today he believes this Kafkaesque system is a sound way to deny his fellow citizens their rights.

This is the Democratic Party of 2016. Engaging in emotional blackmail and demagoguery, waving pictures of the victims of Islamic terrorism to push an unrelated bill that would not have saved a single one of those lives and will never pass. All while lying about guns. Lying about the laws that govern guns and refusing to vote for, or even discuss, a compromise measure Republicans forwarded in the Senate. It's been far more important to gin up anger and moral outrage for political gain.
1. DOOMco 9 years ago
  
  I think many of these people will not be reelected.
Auric Demonocles 9 years ago

We should organize a sit-in for alt-text.
straffinrun 9 years ago

Feeling generous today. I'm granting any political wish you can think of. What you want?
1. Gojira 9 years ago
  
  Toilets that never clog.
2. Drake 9 years ago
  
  At this point? Just start the apocalypse when I get home tonight. Political and economic collapse, zombies, the whole thing. If my family and I survive, my kids will have a brighter future.
  1. straffinrun 9 years ago
    
    I'll have to get my number one demon on that.
    
    *Cackles out a high pitched "Yellllllllin".
  2. Chip Woodier 9 years ago
    
    Just start the apocalypse when I get home tonight.
    
    WTF? Start it in the morning so people don't have to go to work. Why do you want to ruin everyone's evenings?
3. Auric Demonocles 9 years ago
  
  Tough one between getting rid of utilitarianism and getting people to realize their own feelings aren't justification for anything.
4. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
  
  No laws named after some random schmo.
Mr Drew 9 years ago

So I'm flying to New Orleans today. Delta has changed their procedure to check a firearm yet again. It took 90 minutes to get checked in. This is before even getting to security.

I wish southwest would come to Cincinnati.
1. robc 9 years ago
  
  You are already in KY at the Cincy airport. Just drive an hour down 71 to SDF and fly Southwest.
Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago

Stealing some of this from people I've seen on Twitter, but I can't get over how weird this all is.

You have John Lewis, genuine civil rights hero, staging a sit in in favor of denials of due process and secret government lists.

You have the Democratic party sitting on the floor singing "We Shall Overcome" in favor of the same.

You have the Republican party actually caring about due process for the first time in forever (though Peter King disagrees, of course)

You have the ACLU actually opposing the Democrats here.

I mean... I dunno. Just all seems so bizarre.
Lord Humungus 9 years ago

So the Democrats are going apeshit over gun control.

Is this good politics? Or are they just trying to rile up their base for the upcoming election? I mean I don't think the Republicans ever paid a price for not enacting gun control. Or is this time "different?"
1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
  
  I think they're afraid the down ticket will suffer due to the presidential candidates, and want to get their base motivated.
2. Domestic Dissident 9 years ago
  
  This is 100% about desperately doing everything they can trying to distract Americans from the Islamonazis and changing the subject, because they know better than anyone that these murderous Islamonazis might end up costing them a slam-dunk election.
  1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    Also, from their corrupt and incompetent presidential candidate.
Slammer 9 years ago

Bungling officials 'left gun criminal free to commit murder' after attaching GPS ankle tracker to his prosthetic leg

When Dana Hamilton was shot to death in Washington DC last month, it didn't take long for a witness to point the finger at career criminal Quincy Green.
The only problem was that a GPS tracker fitted to Green back in April after a gun arrest showed he was at home, a mile away from where the murder took place.
But that seemingly airtight alibi quickly unraveled after officers discovered bungling officials had the fitted the tag to Green's prosthetic leg - meaning he was able to remove it by taking the limb off.
/blockquote>
1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  Someone promote that man!
  1. SugarFree 9 years ago
    
    It was attached and monitored by a private company, so someone might be fired.
    1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
      
      Third Night Desk Clerk has got to be shaking in his boots right now.
      1. SugarFree 9 years ago
        
        Larry does what he can within the limitations he possesses.
Ken Shultz 9 years ago

"A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning."

It wasn't much of a sit in, really, it's more like they had a seat.
1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  You have no idea the sacrifices they make. Blood. Sweat. Bunions. Those marble floors are really hard, and you wouldn't believe how their stupid administrative assistants couldn't manage to fluff their pillows properly. The lights from all those media cameras shining in their faces... man, it was just like torture.
  
  All for us. Really warms your heart.
  1. UnCivilServant 9 years ago
    
    Lock them in, cut all the feeds and brick up the doorways. Rename the place the Tomb of the self-righteous.
  2. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    Such hardship! Such bravery! I heard some of them even had to skip a meal to do this. Well, not skip per se, but eat much later than usual.
  3. Suthenboy 9 years ago
    
    I don't think it is an accident that the sit-in lasted about the same amount of time as an iPhone battery lasts.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Related to Root's link: Don't email hrc anything sensitive': How Clinton's server was wide open to hackers for WEEKS - and Huma Abedin warned other officials not to use secret address

hackers attacked the server, forcing Clinton's staff to shut it down.

The next day, one of Clinton's closest aides, Huma Abedin, wrote to other high ranking staff: 'Don't email hrc [Clinton] anything sensitive. I can explain more in person.'

The Associated Press reported last year that in the early morning hours of August 3, 2011, Clinton received infected emails, disguised as speeding tickets from New York. The emails instructed recipients to print the attached tickets.

Opening an attachment would have allowed hackers to take over control of a victim's computer.

In a blistering audit released last month, the State Department's inspector general concluded that Clinton and her team ignored clear internal guidance that her email setup broke federal standards and could leave sensitive material vulnerable to hackers.

Her aides twice brushed aside concerns, in one case telling technical staff 'the matter was not to be discussed further,' the report said.
1. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
  
  On the bright side, she is about to come even richer, once that nice Nigerian man sends through all that money he's promised, and she'll even have true love because she's bought a plane ticket for that fellow who's been wooing her via email. Also, her aunt's boyfriend's daughter will show her how to make $9,402 a month working on the internet.
2. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  "Don't email hrc anything sensitive" suggests that these individuals at some point previously had done just that. You know, if Hillary's flagrant disregard for securing classified information weren't already well documented.
  1. Cdr Lytton 9 years ago
    
    Totally unrelated to the security of the server. Huma just didn't want a paper trail so her master could deny ever knowing something.
3. Free Society 9 years ago
  
  Huma Abedin has a very punchable face.
  1. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
    
    Her husband has a very punchable penis.
    1. DOOMco 9 years ago
      
      Ow.
    2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her) 9 years ago
      
      He'd probably like that.
    3. bacon-magic 9 years ago
      
      Dick move. *waits paitiently for Swiss
LynchPin1477 9 years ago

Only watched the Pulse night club ambush question during last night's town hall. Bush league move by CNN but Johnson still didn't handle it well. Sounds like that happened a few times. He needs to improve if he wants to get into the main debates and actually have it be a net positive.
1. straffinrun 9 years ago
  
  As bad as he was, and he was pretty bad, he was still light years ahead of Hillary or Trump with his answers.
  1. Glide 9 years ago
    
    Light years ahead in terms of liberty-friendly, sure.
    
    In terms of his ability to either answer the question with confidence or give a non-answer that people accept as an answer, no. He gave stumbling non-answers that you were painfully aware were stumbling non-answers.
    1. straffinrun 9 years ago
      
      That wooden ventriloquist dummy he had sitting next to him does not have comedic chops, either.
      1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
        
        Lol.
2. OBJ FRANKELSON 9 years ago
  
  I have seen several folks on FB that are usually only aware of the false dichotomy of the TEAMS notice and actually pay attention to Libertarian (more or less) ideas. Whether they take them to heart is another issue entirely. It could have went better, but I think it was a net positive.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Female hiker banned from all US national parks (20 per cent of America) after defacing rock formations with graffiti and posting evidence of her crimes on Instagram

Over a 26-day period in 2014 she damaged formations at seven national parks by drawing or painting on them with acrylic paint and markers, signing her works with her social media handle 'Creepytings.'

The National Park Service has worked hard to restore the rock formations to their natural state, completing clean-up efforts in five of the seven national parks.'

'They expect to complete clean-up efforts at Death Valley and at Crater Lake national parks as weather permits.'

Among the parks she targeted were Death Valley and Yosemite National Parks in California, Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado, Zion National Park in Utah and Crater Lake National Park in Oregon.

Some of the vandalism proved difficult to remove as sandblasting and chemical stripping techniques used to remove paint can cause irreplaceable damage to natural features.

And at two parks, Crater Lake and Death Valley, the graffiti is yet to be fully removed nearly two years later.
1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
  
  A million years from now, anthropologists will study the Creepytings paintings as a vital clue into the barbaric days of humanity's past.
2. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  Wow.
  
  I mean. The level of narcissism.
  
  Wow.
  
  I mean, wow.
  1. Rhywun 9 years ago
    
    Graffiti "artists" are the lowest form of scum. I hope she does jail time.
3. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
  
  "Female hiker banned from all US national parks (20 per cent of America)"
  
  ???
  
  U.S. land area = 3.806 million mi?
  
  total area protected by national parks = 51.9 million acres (i.e. 81,093 square miles)
  1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
    
    I can see where you're going with this, and I'd like to assure you that there's no way this is an unenforceable edict completely for show.
    1. Tonio 9 years ago
      
      Meh. A lot of parks have entrance stations where you have to pay the admission fee. You can be damn sure her picture will be up at all of those and I bet there is a big bonus or promotion for whoever catches her. Also, the outdoor recreation community will be on the lookout for her so even if she does hike in to the park there will be people looking for her.
  2. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
    
    I can see where you're going with this, and I'd like to assure you that there's no way this is an unenforceable edict completely for show.
  3. dantheserene 9 years ago
    
    The ban is for all federal lands, which ups the number of acres considerably. Unenforceable, but a nice add on charge if/when she does something else stupid.
4. Lord Humungus 9 years ago
  
  Decent bod but dat SURPRISE clown face face would cost a small fortune in paper bags.
5. Rich 9 years ago
  
  This woman should herself remove every vestige of her 'Creepytings'.
6. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  I don't think that National Parks compromise 20% of US territory; I believe that 20% figure is all federal lands so: military bases, national forests (different than parks - mostly logging and grazing land), etc. Not sure if indian lands count as "federal" for these purposes.
  1. Illocust 9 years ago
    
    I think Indian lands might count themselves as "federal" for these purposes. No one with anything they value is going to want to let this chick in.
7. WTF 9 years ago
  
  What a stupid twat.
8. Trials and Trippelations 9 years ago
  
  Female hiker banned from all US national parks
  
  because she always hikes nude?
  
  after defacing rock formations
  
  Damn
9. Drake 9 years ago
  
  Hopefully she was presented with a bill for the clean-up.
10. Cdr Lytton 9 years ago
  
  In a thousand years, or possibly sooner, such graffiti will be protected as historic by the Park Service.
11. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  Would.
  1. Anomalous 9 years ago
    
    Would, except for the off-the-charts craziness.
12. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
  
  "Woman banned after improving boring old rocks."
  
  Also, would.
13. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  Say what you will about Creepytings, but that woman is a talented artist.
Rich 9 years ago

Two women went temporarily blind from constantly checking their phones in the dark

Obviously they were permanently insane to begin with.
1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  I simply asked them, 'What exactly were you doing when this happened?'" recalled Dr. Gordon Plant of Moorfield's Eye Hospital in London.
  
  He explained that both women typically looked at their smartphones with only one eye while resting on their side in bed in the dark - their other eye was covered by the pillow.
  
  "So you have one eye adapted to the light because it's looking at the phone and the other eye is adapted to the dark," he said.
  
  When they put their phone down, they couldn't see with the phone eye. That's because "it's taking many minutes to catch up to the other eye that's adapted to the dark," Plant said.
  
  He said the temporary blindness was ultimately harmless, and easily avoidable, if people stuck to looking at their smartphones with both eyes.
  
  I laughed.
2. straffinrun 9 years ago
  
  The solution: Make sure to use both eyes when looking at your smartphone screen in the dark.
  
  The brown eye and the stink eye?
  1. Free Society 9 years ago
    
    Those are different eyes?
Glide 9 years ago

Shit, I wish Gary talked like his staff wrote. The op-ed version of him was a lot less bewildered and afraid to say anything.
1. Trials and Trippelations 9 years ago
  
  Weld probably gave the OK for submission
W. Chipper Dove 9 years ago

Mom arrested for leaving kid in unlocked car with AC going

If you value a nutpunch-free morning, please don't read the comments.
1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
  
  "Jennifer Suarez Sandoval told police she left her son in her car while she ran into the Sprint store because he was sleeping and she didn't want to disturb him."
  
  Which poster was offering free wishes up above? My wish is for this police officer to be blessed with the birth of colicky triplets.
2. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  Brenda Mills
  PEDOPHILES love parents like this......a minute is all it takes!
  1. Just a thought not a sermon 9 years ago
    
    I love this idea that pedophiles are just hanging around parking lots on hot days, waiting for naive parents to leave their offspring unattended.
    1. SugarFree 9 years ago
      
      I don't know. I haven't seen Old Man With Candy around since the weather warmed up.
    2. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
      
      Seriously. Everyone knows that pedophiles hangout in Target bathrooms and highway rest stops.
    3. waffles 9 years ago
      
      Yeah, that's crazy. Everyone knows pedophiles prefer crisp autumn afternoons waiting for children as they walk home from school.
    4. Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
      
      I thought paedophiles had a hotline directly to Chris Hansen, complete with email list?
3. lap83 9 years ago
  
  Teach parents not to leave their children by forcibly removing them from their children!
  1. Hamster of Doom 9 years ago
    
    Handing the children over to people seven times more likely to be abusive and lacking oversight or any consequences for their actions will solve this problem.
John 9 years ago

http://fivethirtyeight.com/fea.....538twitter

Trump shaking up the traditional red blue map. No matter what happens in November, I see that as a good thing. It is not healthy for politics for 45 our of the 50 states to be virtually guaranteed for one party or another and every election decided by Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida or some combination thereof.
1. Glide 9 years ago
  
  Agreed there - it's very damaging to good governance for the majority of campaigning to happen in the mere handful of states that currently have swing potential.
  1. robc 9 years ago
    
    I wish all states would adopt the NE/ME style of electoral distribution. Suddenly, it becomes about competitive congressional districts, not competitive states.
    
    Opens up the competition to much wider areas. With the exception of a few small states, almost all states have a few competitive districts.
2. Drake 9 years ago
  
  I agree too. I think Trump puts states like New Jersey, Michigan, maybe even Massachusetts in play and that's good. When I was a kid in Massachusetts, Presidential elections mattered - Reagan won the state twice.
3. Calidissident 9 years ago
  
  I can see Trump somewhat shaking up the standard order of the states (in terms of most Democratic to most Republican), but I still think that ultimately the solidly Blue states will go Blue comfortably and the solidly Red states will go Red comfortably. I doubt you'll see a case where there are exceptions on both sides. And if there is an exception, it likely means that the losing side was done long before that. That's the nature of things when you just need to get to 270.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Canadian oil needs new outlets, industry group says

A report from the National Energy Board found oil production in Canada could increase by more than 50 percent by 2040, though growth will be constrained without the addition of new oil pipeline infrastructure.
1. Rufus The Monocled 9 years ago
  
  Politicians who listen to environmental activist nutjobs are abdicating their duty to Canadians. Simple as that.
  
  Oil and gas is Canada.
  
  To play politics with this is downright insane.
  
  The U.S. can dick around pretending to be all environmental until it's safe to pump oil again because the economy is so diverse. Canada doesn't have that kind of margin.
  
  But I fear it'll be worse under the Liberals who just expanded CPP. The boneheads babbled on the campaign how they're for the middle-class and small business and continuously enact tired and stale measures that will hurt each.
Crusty Juggler 9 years ago

Chicago passes anti-Airbnb law despite plea from Ashton Kutcher

Earlier in the day, actor and Airbnb investor Ashton Kutcher gave a passionate defense on Facebook of Airbnb in Chicago, but with the support of Mayor Rahm Emanuel, the City Council passed the bill 43-7. Some aldermen were concerned the law would not do enough to protect residents from the rapid growth of the business in the city's residential neighborhoods.

Chicago is so far gone that even America's sweetheart cannot help.
1. John 9 years ago
  
  Doing that fucks the middle class so badly. Rich people generally don't bother with air B&b. You know who does? Middle class people who need a few extra dollars.
2. Drake 9 years ago
  
  Funny - it is my most left-wing acquaintances who love AirBnb and Uber the most - and the jackasses they vote for who ban them.
3. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  If Ashton Kutcher posting on Facebook can't save us, then all hope is lost.
4. Rhywun 9 years ago
  
  I don't know enough about Airbnb to pass judgement on these initiatives. Uber's model is obvious & easy to support. But Airbnb? All I hear about is shady practices that I don't find easy to support.
5. JW 9 years ago
  
  43-7? 50 councilmen? Dear fuck. DC has 10 at the most and that's too many.
  
  They have 50 of the most corrupt and useless fucks around running their city and people are surprised at the results?
John 9 years ago

http://www.theamericanconserva.....from-help/

Black Lives Matter is always good for bringing the crazy.

Despite the media's framing of this as a terrorist attack, we are very clear that this terror is completely homegrown, born from the anti-Black white supremacy, patriarchy and homophobia of the conservative right and of those who would use religious extremism as a weapon to gain power for the few and take power from the rest. Those who seek to profit from our deaths hope we will forget who our real enemy is, and blame Muslim communities instead.

But we will never forget.

As the author of the post points out, imagine if a conservative group had claimed Tim McVeigh was really a leftist homosexual closet case. Yeah, the media would have totally bought that like they are buying this crap.
1. Lee G 9 years ago
  
  From the forced migration of thousands of young people from the island of Puerto Rico to Orlando, to the deadly forced migration throughout Latin America and the Caribbean ? we know this is not the first time in history our families have been mowed down with malice, and we stand with you.
  
  Do they just make this tripe up as they go? Seriously, is there some actual "research" behind this tripe or is it just stream of consciousness bullshit?
  
  Next they'll be reminding us of how the Germans invaded Pearl Harbor.
  1. John 9 years ago
    
    They don't make it up. They think having to move to get a job is the same thing as a the Trail of Tears. They really are that stupid and lazy. The whole thing boils down to a giant tantrum by people with the mental capacity and maturity of a four year old child angry about it being bed time.
    1. (((Renegade))) 9 years ago
      
      Four years ago, I was in Austin. Then I had to move to Chicago to get another job. Let me tell you, Trail of Tears is nothing compared to this horror.
  2. Cdr Lytton 9 years ago
    
    the forced migration of thousands of young people from the island of Puerto Rico
    
    Hammerstein resurrected to rewrite lyrics to "I hate to live in America".
    1. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
      
      +1 Puerto Rico, my heart's devotion. Let it sink back in the ocean.
    2. Rhywun 9 years ago
      
      the forced migration of thousands of young people from the island of Puerto Rico
      
      Thanks to minimum wages laws imposed by Democrats.
  3. Rhywun 9 years ago
    
    Do they just make this tripe up as they go?
    
    Probably quoting their college professors.
2. Rich 9 years ago
  
  Who decided that to prove you really cared about black lives, you had to embrace this movement?
  
  Someone stuck in the anal stage of psychosexual development?
  1. Groovus Maximus 9 years ago
    
    Sigmund Fraud strikes again!
3. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  Until these systems are defeated, until anti-Blackness no longer fuels anti-Muslim and anti-queer and trans bigotry, exploitation, and exclusion ? we can never be truly free.
  
  This is some prime, dry-aged, seared-to-perfection crazy, John. Nice find.
  1. John 9 years ago
    
    All things must fit the narrative. Isn't taking every fact and changing so that it is consistent with your paranoid world view a pretty good working definition of insanity?
  2. thrakkorzog 9 years ago
    
    I'm just proud that our children are here today to hear some authentic gibberish.
4. Suthenboy 9 years ago
  
  I know, I know, all this was predicted right here in H&R within hours of the shooting, I even predicted it myself. Still, seeing it in all of its glorious crazy is astounding.
5. Calidissident 9 years ago
  
  How is being homegrown mutually exclusive with being a terrorist attack? Are they under the impression that terrorist attacks have to be committed by foreigners?
  
  And how the fuck is a self-loathing gay Muslim of Afghan descent shooting up a gay nightclub for ISIS born from right-wing white supremacist conservative Christianity?
  
  What is so hypocritical about this is that if someone committed a terrorist attack while pledging allegiance to Donald Trump, or any right-wing figure, the left would hammer that point home forever. But if someone pledges allegiance to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, a guy directly responsible for the slaughter of tens of thousands and who has explicitly called on his followers to do these sorts of acts, somehow the American right is actually responsible.
  1. John 9 years ago
    
    Here is the analogy to their insane logic. Imagine if Donald Trump were running around the country saying it was your patriotic duty to kill Mexican immigrants and then some nut shot up a Tejano bar claiming he was doing it Donald Trump. By their logic, the fact that the guy had been beat up in grade school by Mexicans and had a Mexican girl dump him in high school would mean his act had nothing to do with Donald Trump, since he already hated Mexicans before he discovered Trump.
    
    It is completely insane.
    1. Calidissident 9 years ago
      
      Even in that case, gays would be the equivalent to Mexicans, and they haven't blamed it on gay people. It would be like blaming some other random person who also didn't like Mexicans but had absolutely no connection or relation to Trump and was not viewed favorably by the shooter.
Cdr Lytton 9 years ago

"State Department staffers wrestled for weeks in December 2010 over a serious technical problem that affected emails from then-Secretary Hillary Clinton's home email server, causing them to temporarily disable security features on the government's own systems, according to emails released Wednesday."

So State Department IT knew about the server and failed to arrange for secure backups in compliance with recordkeeping regulations? See, again not Hillary's fault or responsibility. Nail that IT Analyst II!
1. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  Not just regulations, actual laws. And not just record-keeping, security standards. If the official server was authorized for storage of classified material (which it probably was) there's a whole other layer of laws.
  1. Cdr Lytton 9 years ago
    
    IT's fault! IT's fault! IT's fault! IT's fault! Not her's! Everyone at State knew. If there was a problem, why didn't someone say something?
    
    I can see the defenses already.
    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
      
      Already heard it. A classmate of mine from law school, who is blindly and adamantly TEAM BLUE, explained to me last weekend that Hillary just didn't understand technology and someone in her office IT just suggested doing this because you can't rely on the security of government computers and since no one would know about this, it would actually be more secure and no this has nothing to do with trying to circumvent transparency laws that's just right-wing Trumpery and conspiracy-theorying.
      1. Tonio 9 years ago
        
        If you don't understand something that important, you defer to subject matter experts. Normal people, anyway; narcissists not so much.
      2. Rhywun 9 years ago
        
        Do people like him seriously believe this is how security is handled in the real world? Maybe when he gets a real job?
        
        Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
        
        That's what's most infuriating about talking to him - he does know. He works in the government, and even did a stint at the White House. He absolutely knows that the way she handled all of this was undeniably illegal and that someone in his position would have been in jail over a year ago for much lesser transgressions.
      3. Cdr Lytton 9 years ago
        
        If my company ran out of rack space, I would totally be ok with locating my personal email server at home. I'm sure they would too. And sending out company IT technicians to my home to work on it.
Sevo 9 years ago

"A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning."

I was hoping they'd douse themselves in gasoline and light a match!
The world would be a better place...
1. Drake 9 years ago
  
  Particularly if the fire spread out of control.
  1. waffles 9 years ago
    
    Stop, my penis can only get so erect.
    1. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
      
      quitter
2. John 9 years ago
  
  Charles Cooke made a great point "how is it courageous to have a sit in some place you are legally entitled to go to any time you like"
Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago

SCOTUS just upheld the University of Texas' Affirmative Action for admissions in Fisher v. U of Texas. 4-3 vote, Roberts/Alito/Thomas on the dissent.
1. Drake 9 years ago
  
  So we are down to 7 Justices?
  1. Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago
    
    Kagan was recused. Not sure why.
    1. invisible furry hand 9 years ago
      
      She recused herself because she was the Solicitor General when the Department of Justice filed an amicus curiae brief in the courts below
      1. R C Dean 9 years ago
        
        Now that she's paid her vig and voted to upheld OCare, in spite of her conflict of interest, she gets all ethical.
2. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
  
  Justice Thomas wrote the dissent, it looks like. He's usually really strong on this issue.
  1. Derp-o-Matic 5000 9 years ago
    
    Ah, nevermind. Misread something. It's Alito
3. Calidissident 9 years ago
  
  From what I read, this girl wasn't a very good plaintiff to have. Her grades and test scores were not that good, so it's far from obvious that she was denied due to affirmative action. I don't know if that ultimately made an impact, however.
Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 9 years ago

A pro-gun control "sit in" by Democrats in the House of Representatives ended early this morning.

Why does this say "ended" when all the news I read (including the link) says it's ongoing?
1. SugarFree 9 years ago
  
  The session is over, but they are still hanging out.
Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago

"State Department staffers wrestled for weeks in December 2010 over a serious technical problem that affected emails from then-Secretary Hillary Clinton's home email server, causing them to temporarily disable security features on the government's own systems, according to emails released Wednesday."

HHmmm...I wish I could remember exactly when that "change your password NOW" order came through. It may have been around that time.
Juvenile Bluster 9 years ago

More SCOTUS..

Immigration was a 4-4 tie, which means it defaults to the 5th circuit (invalidating Obama's plan) but doesn't create precedent.
Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago

Most obnoxious hipster douche couple. We have reached peak hipster.

(was the bride involved at all with this wedding? I mean, at all???)
1. Rhywun 9 years ago
  
  Oh come on, this can't be real.
2. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
  
  Flashy sock guy is pretty awful.
  1. GILMORE? 9 years ago
    
    In a world where we used to have Piano Key Necktie Guy before it became Wild Pocket Square Guy, we've now been blessed with your presence. In your mind, you "get" it. And that's awesome. You know that deep down under your Jos A. Bank, you've got a wild side. You live on the edge. You can't be tamed.
    
    I like this guy (the writer)
    
    I'm pretty sure we'd hit it off, up to the point where i said, "golf isn't really a sport, dude"
    1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
      
      I have a friend who is a flashy sock guy (he is also a shawl collar sweater/cardigan guy, and a short short guy, and so on) and I assume his wife is divorcing him because of his terrible clothing choices.
      
      The writer does seem pretty cool.
3. Lee G 9 years ago
  
  interested in existential questions and distinctive clothing from an early age
  
  I can only imagine the amount of condescension this person is capable of.
4. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
  
  Actual wedding announcement in the NYT (10 photos of the douchey couple!!)
  1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
    
    Good God.
    1. GILMORE? 9 years ago
      
      They pray like 5yr olds at bedtime
      1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
        
        I laughed at this photo caption:
        
        It didn't take long before the couple began talking about marriage which Mr. Peters imagined would be like "entering into a deep mystery with my best friend."
  2. commodious spittoon 9 years ago
    
    I'd sooner click a Longtorso link.
  3. John 9 years ago
    
    Meh, I have seen a lot worse. If you are going to be a douche bag idiot son or daughter, you could do a lot worse than having a sound of music wedding. On the hipster douche bag scale that barely registers above a three.
    1. Crusty Juggler 9 years ago
      
      you could do a lot worse than having a sound of music wedding.
      
      It would be difficult to make that New York Times write-up more pretentious.
      1. John 9 years ago
        
        Don't worry, the Times will find a way.
    2. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
      
      Well, the groom is a descendent of Georg and Maria von Trapp, so I guess that theme is kind of given.
      1. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
        
        Interesting fact: Former Austrian submarine captain Georg von Trapp's first wife was Agatha Whitehead, granddaughter of Robert Whitehead, inventor of the modern torpedo.
5. Krapulent Kristen 9 years ago
  
  Heeeaw!
  1. John 9 years ago
    
    That is what I hate about this. It is not that it isn't goofy or that there is anything wrong with people having goofy weddings. It is that the Times thinks that when the "right people" have goofy dumb ass weddings, it is cute and adorable and would think nothing of devoting a full page ridiculing some red neck who had a goofy weddings because that is different somehow.
6. lap83 9 years ago
  
  I think it was Miss Manners who says the "theme" of a wedding should be marriage. Hipsters are children at heart, in the most annoying way possible
Tonio 9 years ago

BREAKING NEWS (crosspost): SCOTUS Upholds Affirmative Action in University of Texas Case
1. Tonio 9 years ago
  
  Oops, I see JB has already posted that.
2. kbolino 9 years ago
  
  4-3
  
  ... in what way is 4/8 a majority?
  1. kbolino 9 years ago
    
    I guess there was one abstention. But that shouldn't count as a binding decision. One side could just intimidate and/or incapacitate some of the Justices to get their way.
    1. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
      
      Kagan recused herself because she worked on the case previously.
R C Dean 9 years ago

Trump could probably win this election by hammering on two or three issues:

(1) Hillary's criminality.
(2) Gun control (if he can plausibly claim to be a protector of the 2A).
(3) Competence. He knows how to manage a large organization, how to negotiate, etc., whereas Hillary has an almost unbroken record of incompetence.
1. Drake 9 years ago
  
  That's about it - along with immigration, hammering Clinton's failures in foreign policy, and some sanity on immigration.
2. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug! 9 years ago
  
  He could also do well on campaigning how he learned from his failures and recovered.

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