London Protects Its Citizens From Onslaught of Beautiful People
Saving young folks from hurt feelings warrants wide-scale censorship efforts in London.


Come July, advertisements that depict "unhealthy or unrealistic body images" will be barred from appearing on trains, buses, or other public transport in London. The city's new mayor, Sadiq Khan, announced the policy Monday, saying that any ads "likely to create body confidence issues, particularly among young people," will be prohibited in all ad spaces controlled by city transit authority Transport for London (TFL).
How exactly city officials plan to determine what's "likely to create body confidence issues" in young people is unclear, but one can bet it'll be mighty selective. After all, isn't any depiction of a conventionally attractive person likely to cause someone some insecurity? Yet London isn't moving to impose a total ban on attractive models (yet). For now, it will rely on a new advertising monitoring committee to approve or reject all ads.
While the new ban only applies to TFL-controlled spaces, these represent some 12,000 ad spots around London. According to the mayor's office, TFL ad assets are the "most valuable in the world," expected to bring in about $2.1 billion in revenue over the next eight and a half years.
Khan vowed to address body-standards in advertising after the U.K.'s Advertising Standards Authority received more than 300 complaints last year about a Protein World ad featuring a woman in a bikini with the caption: "Are You Beach Body Ready?"
"As the father of two teenage girls, I am extremely concerned about this kind of advertising which can demean people, particularly women, and make them ashamed of their bodies," Khan said in a statement. "Nobody should feel pressurised, while they travel on the Tube or bus, into unrealistic expectations surrounding their bodies and I want to send a clear message to the advertising industry about this."
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Nobody should feel pressurised, while they travel on the Tube or bus
I only feel pressurised on a plane.
What about a pneumatic Tube?
Like this.
Obviously you've never been on a submarine.
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To be fair, "conventionally attractive" is a standard that 90% of Brits could never hope to live up to.
I larfed.
I decided to let someone else make the joke because I've been told I'm too hard on the Brits.
If there's anything you can count on me for, it's predictable threadbare jokes.
That, and passing gas in church.
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What? How did that start? Did Warty use his muscles to deal wif dat bloke?
-1 toothbrush.
But, surely this prohibition will also ban billboards with the average British person who is pale, ugly, and snaggle-toothed. Because, no matter how ugly the model is, there is always someone uglier. And that exceptionally ugly person will be able to claim that the ad gives them body confidence issues.
And banning ads with "unrealistic" body images? Like it or not, there are actually some really stunningly hot people out there in the world. Therefore a picture of them is definitively real. And if that picture has been photoshopped some, the depicted body might not be 100% real, but it's real-ish. Wait... that's not a real word. What's the word... oh yeah, realistic.
While we're at it, we also need to ban tv shows and books and magazines that feature smart people. Because those smart people cause intelligence confidence issues for the idiots.
+1 Harrison Bergeron
It's OK, though, their goals are noble.
Wow - who could have seen this coming with Muslim takeover of London coincidental election of a Mayor who happens to be Muslim?
Not sure how that's related. Non-Muslims have been pushing this same crap for years.
Yeah, remember David Cameron's porn filter.
So the White people got a Brown guy to do the job they wouldn't?
Seems like they were heading that way regardless of who the new mayor was.
I think that the new mayors SJW beliefs are the driving force though some part of his Muslim beliefs might push it aloing
SJWs and Muslims are still in their Hitler-Stalin Pact period of alliance against the Western world.
Yeah I'm not sure how this is directly connected to his practice of that backwards ideology. That said, I don't think we can expect anything good to come from a "leftist" Muslim mayor elected by identity politics in a major western metropolis. He started playing the race card unimpeachable beliefs card before he was even officially in office.
And essentially told the Donald it hateful to piss off Muslims, and possibly quite dangerous.
Because THEN they would start committing acts of terrorism?
ohhh a Muslim wants women covered up. This is my shocked face.
Wait until he goes to some of London's art museums. Some of those sculptures and paintings show far more skin.
Real women have curves. And diabetes.
In response
What was that?
I dunno. I don't listen to short people.
Because you've got no reason?
The many BBWs I know are sweet, empathetic, and in many cases, incredibly sexy.
AKA Jolly.
Screwed up the link. Tried to get the picture halfway down the page...
Real women have curves, not lumps, rolls and bulges.
I suppose curves is used euphemistically to mean "fat", but when I hear "curves" I think hips and tits, not morbid obesity.
If every body is beautiful, then no body is beautiful.
"Every body is a bikini body." ~Trigglypuff
"Some bikinis can double as a car cover" ~Bobarian
^This^
Sophia Vergara is curvy, Melissa McCarthy is fat.
I'm all for people putting a loaded Twinkie to their mouth and pulling the trigger. Hey, you do you. If watching your body break down rapidly and at a young age is your thing, let she who is without vice throw the first scone.* You don't see a lot of smokers shrieking that tar is beautiful.
I have hardly ever taken to Teh Facegram. "O. M. G. GAIZ. I had someone sit next to me at a public park, start that delicate, fake forced coughing to indicate that they can feel my cancer-smoke-hatred killing them as we speak. It was just such a message that I am wrong, my life is invalidated, I'll never be good enough. I literally wanted to die of cancer right then. FUCK THOSE HATERS. *cries* WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LUV NSTEAD?"
So you've got a weakness. What, you need a(nother, HA) cookie? Why does everything have to be a trophy for participation anymore? Shush and enjoy your pasta.
*Has seven kinds of sugar in the house.
... let she who is without vice throw the first scone.
*winces, frowns, reluctantly begins applause anyway*
Ha! Last month, I had a smoker get pissed off at me. He lit up and I started coughing. He shot me a dirty look; I got the sense he thought I was hamming it up. The fact was I was in the end stages of bronchitis, and anything in the air was giving me coughing fits. This happened outside the CVS. I was on my way in to pick up a new industrial sized bag of cough drops.
He shot me a dirty look as I strolled out. It amused me.
Someone should make an ad with a slightly chubby, pasty English bint in a bikini showing off her happy trail with the same slogan, "are you beach body ready?". That oughta make them happy.
Only if she's gone French under her arms, too.
I want to send a clear message by imposing a vague standard on something that isn't properly my business.
Body issues don't happen in a vacuum!
But some body issues can be improved by strategic vacuuming.
Is this one of those euphemisms?
Best headline ever.
Public transportation - there's your problem.
If you drink like a man, you might end up looking like one.
Would.
Savage.
My favorite anti-drug ever: Heroin may not kill you, it may just make you look like Keith Richards.
I think that also takes a lot of cocaine.
If it also makes you survive monumental self-abuse like Kieth Richards, it might be worth it.
The city's new mayor, Sadiq Khan
Is this the new mayor that was repeatedly and breathlessly celebrated in the American media as being a Muslim?
Yup.
And btw, allow me to social signal. I have no problem with a Muslim Mayor of London, and I don't believe this has anything to do with him being Muslim, it means that his identity politics-cred makes no less awful than anyone else.
Now see, this is why I love Europe. Who will provide the chuckles after they descend into another frenzy of self-destruction?
Canada?
Maybe just a Final Countdown?
I cant help but laugh nearly every time I hear news about Airstrip One. They really have gone all the way down the proggy rabbit hole.
Yeah, but they're our canary in the coal mine. Whenever they go full derp we know it's a couple of years from happening here.
What did someone here post, that "Britain" is always the reliable answer to the question, "How bad can it get?"
I've been saying that for years.
Who knew that Shariah Law would come in so handy in ways we never expected?
Time to bring out the burqas brought to you by your new muslim Mayor and harsher sharia laws to be introduce under the idea of protecting snowflakes.
It's for their own good! It'll make London a more tolerant society! Why do you hate women?
In the classic sci-fi novel The Handmaid's Tale, the dystopian theocratic Christian patriarchy comes to power thanks to an unholy alliance between fundamentalist christians and anti-sex feminists. I always thought this seemed a little far-fetched: why the hell would feminists ally with people who utterly despise them, just to get legislation pushed through?
As always, truth is stranger than fiction...
Bootleggers and Baptists.
It will be gradually phased in. This is just the tip.
I just heard about this and already I'm feeling more confident about my fat ass.
Thank you foreign politician!
Yeah, a Muslim is "particularly concerned" about "demeaning women." Better to honor and celebrate them by forcing them to dress like beekeepers in mourning.
They don't have to dress like that. They can dress however they want...if they're willing to take the beating their husband or brothers dole out.
My wife tells me stories of how the young Morrocan men that have colonized the Netherlands tend to regard any blonde haired woman under 30 to be a slut whose just asking to be harassed by men. She's met more than a few of these migrants that didn't believe that blonde hair is a natural hair color and so assumed that slutty women dye their hair that color. Such cultural enrichment.
who is*
If the Hon. Khan is concerned of his daughters' body images, he might want to regulate ads for lamb biryani.
I mean look at those thighs... with some cables you could support the George Washington Bridge with them.
Is he like 3 feet tall? Looks like he should live in a tree and bake cookies.
According to that short man's website Bill linked to, he's 5' 6".
Judging from how they are dressed, he doesn't seem to be hard-line on the full Hijab.
Laura Bogart came in her pants when she read this news.
And we know she came in her pants because somebody rolled her in flour.
I think she uses the flour as a baby powder substitute...
Makes its own bread.
Considering what the average limey female looks like, they'll have to just go ahead and ban pretty much all advertising that contains images of any woman, and probably ~50% of those containing images of men.
Look who pretends he doesn't look at page three.
Look who pretends he doesn't look at page three.
Out of a nation of 64 million they manage to find a single attractive one a day.
Dammit, HoD, I don't have time to look at pictures of Rosie Jones all day*. How dare you.
*But I'm gonna anyway
The key word was "average". That doesn't mean there aren't some British women who are way above average.
So Hillary and Lena Dunham qualify to be on London public transportation advertising. congrats ladies.
+1 Limey Ed Rendell
Maybe this is the new phase of the Islamic invasion -- their operatives pretend to be SJW leftists to secure the support of all progressives.
Just kidding, you can't fake this kind of idiocy. I tried that once at a party -- I had to back out of the conversation quickly, or else I would have been rolling on the floor, laughing.
When Edward Gibbon speculated about the outcome of a Muslim victory at Poitiers (AD 733), he said: "Perhaps the interpretation of the Koran would now be taught in the schools of Oxford, and her pulpits might demonstrate to a circumcised people the sanctity and truth of the revelation of Mahomet."
He should have added: "...and a mayor named Sadiq Khan would unleash his wrath upon tradesmen who advertised their wares by overly-voluptuous displays of the female form."
(see what I did there?)
An ad for a gym or running shoes should show fat people?
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