A.M. Links: Sanders to Meet Obama at White House, Trump Faces GOP Criticism, Suicide Bombers Kill 25 in Baghdad

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  • U.S. Senate

    Bernie Sanders is scheduled to meet with President Obama today at the White House.

  • Donald Trump says he is "disappointed and surprised" that top Republicans like Paul Ryan have criticized him for his racist attack on federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel.
  • Did Hillary Clinton's use of a private computer server while working at the State Department result in CIA personnel having their identities compromised?
  • The Michigan Legislature has passed a $617 million bailout of the Detroit public school system.
  • "Nearly half of unemployed Americans have quit looking for work, and the numbers are even worse for the long-term jobless, according to a poll released Wednesday that paints a grim picture of the labor market."
  • ISIS has claimed responsibility for two suicide bombings in Baghdad that killed at least 25 people.

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Editor's Note: This post initially misstated the amount of the Detroit school bailout.

NEXT: Brickbat: No Irish Need Apply

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Bernie Sanders is scheduled to meet with President Obama today at the White House.

    Close it down, Bernie.

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      Hello.

      “Bernie Sanders is scheduled to meet with President Obama today at the White House.”

      http://bit.ly/1WGlAIZ

      Wait. Which one is Bernie again?

    2. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at that little confab.

      1. Bee Tagger

        The Beernie Summit?

        1. *narrows gaze*

          1. Clich? Bandit

            WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU TUESDAY!?!?

            I had to narrow my own gaze for god’s sake. What kind of discriminating cis shitlord are you Swissy?

      2. Slammer

        Bildenbernie Group

      3. Rufus The Monocled

        Comrade, blah, blah, blah, comrade, bling, bling, bling, comrade, yaddee, yadda, yadda, comrade….nice sickle comrade…

        You know the rest.

        1. Groovus Maximus

          I see you have met my FIL…

      4. Lee G

        “Let me be clear….”

    3. WTF

      Bernie will be told to fall in line, or else.

      1. I think Obama could end up enraging the already raging Bern.

        Unless he has inside knowledge of, or is planning to interfere in, the FBI investigation, endorsing Hillary now could be foolish.

        1. Rich

          Isn’t O on the record about *not* having anything to do with investigation?

          Of course, it depends on what the meaning of “not” is.

          1. The cynic in me thinks he’s going to knock Bernie off the nomination, wait until Hillary gets indicted, and bring in Biden to replace Hillary. There will be very little time to attack Biden, and he’ll be President in 2017.

            1. Lee G

              A mullet on every head, and a Camaro in every garage!

              1. Citizen X

                I look forward to the constitutional amendment declaring butterfly knife ownership an inalienable right.

            2. WTF

              No, the fix is in, Hillary will not be indicted, and he is letting Bernie know it ain’t gonna happen so Bernie may as well tow the damn lion.

      2. Rasilio

        Hey there is a miniscule but 0 chance that it is actually to let him know that the indictment hammer is about to fall on Hillary but Bernie still won’t be nominated at the convention, however if he plays nice, doesn’t make a ruckus and publicly backs Biden Bernie can be the VP and have a major role in crafting the platform going forward.

      3. Or else what? Dude’s in his 70s. This campaign has been his only worthwhile contribution to society, besides maybe his civil rights activism in the 60s. He put pressure on Her Highness. This is it for him.

        1. VG Zaytsev

          “It’d be a shame if you didn’t live to see the revolution to fruition when we’re so close”.

        2. Citizen X

          Damn, that is really stretching the definition of “worthwhile contribution.”

          1. If his chump followers end up rioting at the convention, this campaign will have served a purpose.

        3. Red Rocks Rockin

          Dude never wanted to conduct the scorched-earth campaign he needed to implement because “playing dirty” against Hillary wasn’t “nice”. He basically conceded the nomination to her when he declined to hammer her over her emails in the first debate, and by the time he got enough momentum to seriously challenge her and even threaten DWS’s place as DNC head, it was too late.

  2. Just a thought not a sermon

    1) Yesterday, the Washington Post published an article on the prevalence of rape in U.S. colleges. This is actually the first article on this topic I’ve ever seen with believable statistics. Even the college reporting the highest percentage of students being raped, Reed College, had it at 1.29%. Which is a lot higher than I would have thought, though Reed is an outlier.

    Maybe Reed College has a special rape problem, or maybe it’s the only honest college in the bunch, I’m not sure. My own alma mater, Sewanee, which seems to be about in the high-middle of the list, reported a .58% rate.

    Of course even a single rape is too much. But speaking realistically, we can’t eliminate all crime, and frankly, there does not appear to me to be an epidemic of rape, as we sometimes hear. Even if we accept Reed as typical and assume everybody else is covering up, 1.29% is?well, kind of high, but far from endemic. If Sewanee, at .58%, is more typical, then it seems to be a fairly minor problem (not for the victims, of course!?I’m just saying there aren’t that many of them, in the grand scheme of things.).

    1. Lee G

      Gallaudet gets a high rape ranking. I guess nobody can hear her say no.

      1. *strongly narrows gaze*

        1. Lee G

          You’ll have to repeat that, I couldn’t hear you.

    2. Lee G

      And Brown reports 43 rapes? Sorry, I don’t believe that number for a second. Brown students most likely have a very broad definition of rape. That or beta males are totally rapetastic.

      1. RBS

        I dated a girl that graduated from Brown. From talking to her and some of her friends just about every girl there has a “rape” story. Of course, they tend to use the “sex I wish I didn’t have with that ugly guy” definition.

        1. Being a woman’s sexual regret is pretty damn awesome. #neverforget

        2. Being a woman’s sexual regret is pretty damn awesome. #neverforget

          1. Groovus Maximus

            I see even the sqvirrels voice their Crustational regret.

            1. Sqvirrel? Are you Boris?

      2. Chip Woodier

        And Brown reports 43 rapes? Sorry, I don’t believe that number for a second. Brown students most likely have a very broad definition of rape. That or beta males are totally rapetastic.

        Or, Brown students are incredible liars…which is believable in that it gives support to their narrative.

    3. Both rates are absurdly high (given the national rates). I think they’re using a very loose definition for the offense.

    4. I was in an upstate New York vacation town last week and I unfortunately overheard a long conversation between millennials about which was the better school: Tufts or Sewanee. I am lucky my thoughts and prayers were with me.

    5. robc

      You went to the U of the South?

      My favorite part of driving to Atlanta is coming off the mountain headed East on 24.

      The rest of the drive sucks, but that is fun.

      I also like to see how far up the tracks in the runaway truck pits go.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        I always have the urge to steer my car onto the runaway truck ramp when I drive down the Mountain.

        In college I drove a stick shift and it was always fun to just step on the clutch and let the car roll down.

    6. WTF

      Since the national rate for rape is only 2.4 per 1,000 (0.24%), which includes hellholes like Detroit and Baltimore, and the DOJ national crime statistics indicate that women on campus are less likely to be raped than the same age cohort off-campus, I tend to believe even these stats are somewhat skewed.

      1. Zeb

        Are those rates comparable, though? Is 2.4/1000 a yearly rate or lifetime or what? And for colleges, are the rates yearly, or for a 4 year period?

        No, I’m not going to read the article.

        1. Just a thought not a sermon

          The stats are for 2014, so a single year.

      2. Zeb

        OK, I read some of the article.

        Looks like most of the schools have rates per 1000 significantly lower than the 2.4 rate. So it’s fairly believable. I’d expect the rate at colleges to be similar to the national rate (or perhaps a bit higher given the somewhat broad definition of rape college students tend to be taught).
        Then there is the question of methodology. I expect both numbers come from surveys, not convictions. But if the surveys didn’t ask the same questions, it’s hard to compare.

      3. Since the national rate for rape is only 2.4 per 1,000

        On the other hand, you have a captive populace of idiot students drinking heavily and blacking out. The only thing believable about the rape crisis hysteria is that consent is a problem for these people.

        1. Bubba Jones

          I suspect that if 10% of the national female population was blacked out and naked every night, the rape stats would be much higher.

    7. No stats on broken glass rape tables are available, though.

      Guess we should ask Sabrina Rubin-Erdely.

      1. Citizen X

        Grab its fucking stats!

    8. My own alma mater, Sewanee

      Lookit this name dropper. HEY COLLEGE! You talk like a fag and your shit’s all retarded. Not so smart now, are you, college?

    9. mad.casual

      Of course even a single rape is too much.

      If a simple “No.” always worked then what’s the point of a fucking safe word? Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me that sex should always come to a stop once someone has drawn blood.

      1. WTF

        sex should always come to a stop once someone has drawn blood.

        Warty haz a sad.

    10. Of course even a single rape is too much.

      This is the commentariat. Robby qualifiers are not necessary here. There’s no such thing as a good amount of rape, but if a largish college had but one single rape in a given year, that’s a great rape rate. The best rape rate in the land. And I say that with no qualifiers because only SJWs would take that to mean that I’m claiming rape is good by saying it without the necessary social signalling and I give not a single shit for what they think.

    11. Clich? Bandit

      Whoa whoa whoa JATNAS…Did your counter roll over? Are we back to 1? And do you use a zero index? You are clearly using signed ints but I would suggest moving to a bigger one like say at LEAST 8 bits.

    12. Agent Cooper

      What about Rape College?

  3. Did Hillary Clinton’s use of a private computer server while working at the State Department result in CIA personnel having their identities compromised

    Is this a question?

    1. (((Renegade)))

      What does Judge Napolitano say?

    2. Phrasing something as a question is a wishy-washy way of avoiding being branded a fool if the story turns out to be wrong in the future.

    3. Tom Bombadil

      who’s askin’?

    4. Nine days later, another email states that Clinton approached Boswell and says she “gets” the risk. The email also said: “Her attention was drawn to the sentence that indicates we (the diplomatic security office officials) have intelligence concerning this vulnerability during her recent trip to Asia.”

      Yet, the convenience of circumventing FOIA was more important than avoiding security risks.

      Seriously, you have to wonder how much foreign intelligence agencies gleaned from her emails. As compared to the massive OPM breach, compromising a measly email server is easy.

      If foreign agencies had access to Hillary’s emails, you have to wonder how much content on Syria, Ukraine, Libya, and other conflicts they had their hands on. And how that affected the outcomes of those conflicts.

      1. WTF

        Of COURSE they had access, it was an unsecured private server, absurdly easy for a foreign government to hack.

      2. jamesrk

        There are two types of Network Admins, ones who know they have been hacked and ones who don’t.

  4. Bee Tagger

    Did Hillary Clinton’s use of a private computer server while working at the State Department result in CIA personnel having their identities compromised

    C’mon, quit playing the plame game… bah, sorry about that typo.

    1. Val-iant effort.

  5. Donald Trump says he is “disappointed and surprised” that top Republicans like Paul Ryan have criticized him for his racist attack on federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel.

    “It’s like they haven’t been paying attention at all.”

    1. Sad!

  6. A teenager dies after distracted CHP officer slams into car

    Officials say a Northern California teenager is dead after a California Highway Patrol officer became distracted and rear-ended another vehicle.

    The Glenn County Sheriff’s Office said Wednesday that 15-year-old Weston Sites of Willows, Calif., was pronounced dead at the scene along Interstate 5 near the town of Orland.

    CHP Sgt. Tony Odell told television station KCRA-TV that the officer was looking down at his computer about 3:30 p.m. Tuesday.

    He didn’t notice that northbound traffic was slowing until it was too late to avoid rear-ending the vehicle where Sites was riding in the back seat.

    Two sisters from Willows were also in the car. They were treated at a hospital and released.

    The officer was not being named as the investigation continues.

    1. “The officer was not being named as the investigation continues.”

      Which is exactly the same treatment a “civilian” would have gotten – delay the charges, keep your name out of the papers. Cops give breaks like this all the time.

      /sarc

      1. Rufus The Monocled

        He was busy checking the license plate of the car in front of him.

        1. Or surfing porn. Who knows.

    2. Tom Bombadil

      It’s inevitable really. They have no business working a computer and driving at the same time. Heads should roll right up the chain of command.

      1. How else are they going to run plates in rolling traffic to meet their ticket quotas?

    3. Zeb

      I thought cops had some magical ability to text while driving and whatnot. Why else would those laws not apply to them?

      1. Mainer2

        They are all also excellent marksmen and constitutional experts.

      2. Rich

        I thought cops had some magical ability to text while driving

        It’s not magic — just a huge computer setup mounted to the dash.

        1. Zeb

          I should have added “without causing accidents”.

          So it’s a terrible thing for a mere mortal to look at their phone while driving (which I pretty much agree with, though I don’t think it needs a specific law), but pigs can have a whole laptop in front of them to play with while driving.

  7. Lord Humungus

    Meth clowns, nude brawls and shootouts: How Waffle House became the ‘Florida man’ of restaurant chains

    “The cooks can freely interact with our guests,” communications manager Kelly Thrasher told Adweek. “You eat in our kitchen, and this is a welcoming and familiar experience for many.”

    That experience can be a little too welcoming to some customers who are too intoxicated, angry or intent on using their weapons to conduct themselves responsibly in a Waffle House.

    There’s the Mississippi man who gunned down a Waffle House waitress who asked him not to smoke, and there’s also the self-described “white terrorist” who threatened a violent rampage at a Waffle House in Alabama.

    Speaking of terrorists and Waffle House, four senior citizens were arrested after plotting over a meal at one restaurant in Georgia to “save the Constitution” by killing millions of Americans with botulinium toxin.

    The all-night diners, which are frequently located near interstate exits, are such a magnet for robberies that the Atlanta Journal-Constitution once led off a cops-and-crime brief with the sentence, “Another day, another Waffle House robbery.”

    Sometimes customers open fire on one another, and sometimes Waffle House employees shoot back.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      We used to go to our local Waffle House all the time in college. The late night waitress was a friendly, funny woman who often came in with a black eye. I always tried to leave a decent tip for her.

      1. Rich

        who often came in with a black eye.

        How waffle!

        Seriously, you were a nice person to do that.

        1. Citizen X

          “Were.”

          1. Rich

            “Was”?

            1. “Weren’t”

      2. Agent Cooper

        Was the tip “Leave him?”

    2. Rufus The Monocled

      SOMEONE HAS TO MAKE A MOVIE.

    3. Chipwooder

      I always thought that was intended to be part of the charm.

      The waffles are indifferent, but the hash browns remain glorious.

      1. Chip Woodier

        They have waffles?

    4. Groovus Maximus

      Adds a different perspective to the terms, “scattered, smothered, and covered,”….

    5. Rhywun

      Sounds like the “Denny’s” of the South. Do they have “Denny’s” down there?

      1. Tom Bombadil

        A plethora.

        1. geo1113

          A plethora

      2. Overt

        Main difference is that after eating at Waffle House, you aren’t violently ejecting body fluids from all orifices of your body. (Unless you were there after an all night bender)

      3. Denny’s is a significantly classier experience.

  8. The Michigan Legislature has passed a $617 billion bailout of the Detroit public school system.

    Everyone gets a new iPad?

    1. invisible furry hand

      and the fat kids get a Fitbit

    2. I clicked through, and it’s actually $617 million. That seemed like a shocking waste, even for Detroit.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Detroit’s school bailout is higher than the entire U.S. spending on education!

      2. I actually RTFA….just to be sure. Almost nothing surprises me anymore…

        1. Rhywun

          The article contains gems like “The legislation approved tonight represents an unprecedented investment for the education of Detroit’s children.”

          It is amazing he got that out with a straight face.

          1. Lee G

            In fairness, the most basic prerequisite for being a politician is the ability to utter complete bullshit and look completely serious. That and having a freaky-ass phony smile.

          2. A better investment would involve a bulk buy of Greyhound tickets.

      3. Tom Bombadil

        “I clicked through, and it’s actually $617 million. That seemed like a shocking waste, even for Detroit.”

        Thanks for checking that. I read the “Billion” and immediately said no f’ing way.

    3. I’m guessing Rick Snyder didn’t want to get branded a racist after the Flint water fiasco.

      Seriously. Detroit should have to pay its own f***ing tab.

      1. Cyto

        They can’t. Pretty much everyone who could leave has done so. That doesn’t leave a lot of productive, taxpaying citizens. They’ve got a really tough situation there.

        1. Agent Cooper

          They’ve got a really tough situation there.

          Burn it to the ground.

    4. Rhywun

      If by “everyone” you mean the teachers and administrators.

  9. invisible furry hand

    why there are no female libertarians, part 5,62

    The party accused of forgetting women: Liberal Democrats call for ‘more chicks’

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-…..z4B5QqMvxG

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women are cold and I’m hot under the collar.

      1. Rufus The Monocled

        If I were the leader of a party I’d mandate all the women (who I would carefully, ahem, select) would have to dress in ancient Roman, Greek and Egyptian garb.

        1. Mokers

          Silvio, is that you?

          1. Chip Woodier

            +1 bunga bunga

        2. Mindyourbusiness

          Ancient Cretan, FTW

    2. If a few of those guys agree to identify as women, that should solve the problem. Unless feminists are a bunch of transphobic bigots.

    3. Chicks?

      I thought you Aussies called them Sheilas.

      1. invisible furry hand

        sheila is a very old term, and it’s dying out. Chicks is definitely a common term, if s bit puerile

        1. But tell me you still use cobber.

          1. invisible furry hand

            sorry, that is also dying, as poetic phrases such as “all prick and ribs like a drover’s dog”

            1. Groovus Maximus

              “Dunny?” “Wally?” “Gmail?”

              1. Murder a brown snake?

                1. I bet ifh has a real lousy accent.

                  1. That’s a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys. Throw another shrimp on the barbie and ride around on your kangaroos all day.

      2. Tom Bombadil

        I have it on good authority from Jim Jefferies that “cunt” is the preferred nomenclature.

    4. lap83

      In that gallery of images there’s a default female avatar icon, they should add a caption over it: “this space for rent”

      1. It’s not prostitution, I was just parking my penis!

        Sorry.

        1. lap83

          It’s ok, I was kind of asking for that euphemism

          /word-rape victim blamer

  10. Bee Tagger

    Donald Trump says he is “disappointed and surprised” that top Republicans like Paul Ryan have criticized him for his racist attack on federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel.

    “Disappointed and surprised” would make an appropriate book title for the 2016 presidential election.

    1. And 2012….and 2008….and…

  11. Lord Humungus

    Midlothian man sees Donald Trump in bathroom floor tile

    Clayton Litten was sitting on his toilet, admiring his newly tiled bathroom floor when he first saw it.

    “This cannot be. There’s no way,” Litten said when he saw the image — “clear as day.”

    An image of presidential candidate Donald Trump, standing with arms folded, emerged from the tile floor.

    1. Glide

      I can’t see it, but then again I’ve always sucked at Magic Eye.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        You can see Hillary in that bathroom too, but you got to wait for the guy to get off the toilet, and look before he flushes.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      See, this is what happens from unregulated sales of loperamide.

    3. straffinrun

      From his expression you can tell he eats a lot of fiber. Should drops his pants first next time.

    4. OMFG. It’s a cult.

    5. WTF

      So, we’re going from Black Jesus to Combover Jesus. Great.

    6. Rhywun

      Disappointed that this is Virginia and not the original Midlothian.

    7. I see Bill Clinton and Joe Biden locking lips, but no DJT.

    8. CatoTheChipper

      A Donald Trump urinal cake would be better.

    9. CPRM

      I saw this, maybe that’s what he’s talking about? Could be Trump I guess

      1. Agent Cooper

        Here is what I see. Sorry, I used orange (appropriately) and it’s a bit hard to see.

  12. (((Renegade)))

    Bernie Sanders is scheduled to meet with President Obama today at the White House.

    Two go in, one comes out.

    If there was ever a perfect moment for Giant Meteor(ite) to hit DC, this would be it.

    1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

      Is there ever a moment when ‘a Giant Meteor(ite) to hit DC’ isn’t perfect?

      1. IndyEleven

        Congressional recess, presidental vacations, possibly others.

  13. The Michigan Legislature has passed a $617 billion bailout of the Detroit public school system.

    Problem: solved.

    1. arbitrary wavefunction

      Seriously. See all this debt? It *was* there on the city’s balance sheet. But now it’s all the way over here on the state’s balance sheet. This is how government works for you!

      1. Now it’s everyone’s problem. Which is the same as saying it’s no one’s problem.

        There’s plenty more room under the rug. Keep sweeping!

      2. arbitrary wavefunction

        From the article:

        The legislation provides $617 million to the district, which is more than $500 million in debt and is operating in facilities that are decrepit, moldy and in some cases falling apart.

        If any of this money goes to new infrastructure, it will be overspent.

        “The legislation approved tonight represents an unprecedented investment for the education of Detroit’s children. The district’s debt will be fully repaid and the new funding will be used to support teaching kids in their classrooms, instead of being diverted to pay off decades of legacy costs,”

        No, no it won’t, Rick.

        My crystal ball is telling me to look for bumps in teacher pay, expansion of school administration and new/raised pensions. And exactly zero impact on education.

        1. WTF

          It’s not fucking “investment”, it’s SPENDING!

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

            The best way to spend that money would be to distribute to the kids so that they can move out of Detroit.

    2. (((Renegade)))

      The Michigan Legislature has passed a $617 billion bailout of the Detroit public school system.

      Something tells me that there’s a three orders of magnitude error here.

      1. On orders of magnitude, apropos Detroit-style ransoms

      2. A billion here, a billion there, eventually we’re talking real money.

  14. “Nearly half of unemployed Americans have quit looking for work, and the numbers are even worse for the long-term jobless, according to a poll released Wednesday that paints a grim picture of the labor market.”

    Well, sure, the people not out looking for a job will be the ones home to answer the phone.

  15. Bee Tagger

    Bernie Sanders is scheduled to meet with President Obama today at the White House.

    Obrahmas and Berniebros to meet on Twitter today, as well.

  16. Slammer

    The Michigan Legislature has passed a $617 billion bailout of the Detroit public school system.

    Maybe this helped.

    We really ought to round up the lawmakers who took money to protect and perpetuate the failing charter-school experiment in Detroit, sew them into burlap sacks with rabid animals, and toss them into the Straits of Mackinac.

    1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

      What did that guy have against rabid animals?

      Where’s Tonio on this?

  17. Lord Humungus

    People are now overdosing on anti-diarrhea meds to get high, feds say

    The Annals of Emergency Medicine recently published a study detailing the dangers of loperamide, the primary ingredient in Imodium, which is sold over-the counter.

    Loperamide, an opioid, can cause serious heart problems if too much is ingested, the Food and Drug Administration warned Tuesday.

    While the recommended dosage is between 8 milligrams and 16 milligrams per day, some people have taken as much as 300 mg in one sitting, CBS said. In addition, calls to national poison centers involving over-the-counter drugs such as Modium climbed 71 percent between 2011 and 2014, that report said.

    “Loperamide’s accessibility, low cost, over-the-counter legal status and lack of social stigma all contribute to its potential for abuse,” the Annals of Emergency Medicine said.

    1. We could just ban it, or make it really difficult for anyone to get. I’m sure that would fix the underlying problem.

      1. Steve G

        No, not an outright ban, just make people show ID to get it from the pharmacy counter, then SWAT them if they but more than the approved monthly allowance. Then create shitty substitutes and put those in the aisles.

        1. CatoTheChipper

          So, I have to show a government ID if I have allergies or diarrhea, but can vote without one.

          1. Yes, because racism.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      I’ve heard heroin users have terrible problems with constipation, so this makes sense.

      1. Groovus Maximus

        Not sure if joking…

        1. Rich

          “Opioid Induced Constipation” is the ailment du jour in the States, Doc. TV commercials galore for meds to help with it.

          1. Zeb

            Point is that Immodium would just make the constipation worse.

            1. Groovus Maximus

              You win a kewpie doll, Zebulon…

              1. Zeb

                Perhaps I am being humor-impaired, but a number of people seem to be having a problem confusing AD medicine and laxatives.

                1. Groovus Maximus

                  Perhaps I am being humor-impaired

                  No more than usual, my Spectrum afflicted friend… (Yes, I am kidding)

                  but a number of people seem to be having a problem confusing AD medicine and laxatives.

                  Yes, they do, and I find it a little unnerving, TBH… Actually, quite unnerving.

          2. Groovus Maximus

            Really? …OIC what you mean now…

            And to think, I was RXing Qday Miralax with all that Percocet and those Fentanyl patches just for shits and giggles. *grins*

            1. Rich

              Really. And they do pronounce it “Oh Eye See”. Serious.

              1. Groovus Maximus

                I don’t buy it. Sounds like one of those made up diseases so BigPhama can make teh evul profitses.

      2. Eternal Blue Sky

        Opiate constipation is now not a bug, but a feature.

    3. Certified Public Asshat

      The authors of Tuesday’s FDA report recommended restricting over-the-counter sales of the anti-diarrhea drugs, similar to other easily abused medications like pseudoephedrine, the decongestant used in Sudafed and other pills that can be processed into methamphetamine.

      Of course they did.

      1. BAN EVERYTHING!!!!!

        1. Chip Woodier

          Ban them all!

    4. Rich

      “Loperamide’s accessibility, low cost, over-the-counter legal status and lack of social stigma all contribute to its potential for abuse”

      Emphasis added. “Fucking anti-diarrhea med junkies!”

    5. Glide

      Oh my, if you take 20 days worth of medicine in one sitting it can cause problems? TOTAL. PLOT. TWIST.

    6. PBR Streetgang

      The ANNALS of Emergency Medical??
      Come on…

    7. SugarFree

      lack of social stigma

      New sitcom: Everyone Loves Uncontrollably Shitting Raymond

      1. Rich

        LOLperamide!

      2. Mindyourbusiness

        +1 coffee spit-take

    8. Groovus Maximus

      Oddly enough, this is *precisely* how Flint, MI’s could have dealt with that tainted water problem….

      1. Tom Bombadil

        heh heh heh, you said ‘taint’.

    9. Zeb

      I’m going to guess that the numbers are very small and the 71% increase is not very meaningful. And the 71% increase is not specifically about loperamide, but all OTC drugs.

      I would further guess that not many people try the 300 tabs of Immodium high more than once.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        The article yesterday said 39 people have died over the last 10 years.

        A fucking plague, I tell ya!

        1. Zeb

          And how many people died from aspirin or APAP overdose in the same time period?

      2. mad.casual

        71% increase is not very meaningful

        Personally, the time scale does it for me. Three years is a lot. It’s almost calming to know that we’ve had prescription opioids on the market forever and that only a 71% increase has happened in the last three years.

        Like discovering you could buy opium or heroin OTC and, three years later, you haven’t even doubled the number of users. It almost sounds like an attrition rate.

    10. Agent Cooper

      lack of social stigma

      Citation needed.

  18. Slammer

    Snowden

    1. I bet the first winter after moving from Hawaii to Russia made him feel snowed in.

    2. First Vice piece I’ve watched, and quite liked it. I’m not a fan of such one-sided journalism – no one is presented to rebut Snowden or others – but I like watching Snowden techsplain. If nothing else, I hope that Boston Marathon bombing anecdote is true; I bet these guys all have the same conversation after an attack.

      1. Dallas H.

        You should find the one they did on the Afghanistan gun market. Watch guys wearing rags with no shoes making amazing guns on a dirt floor and just laugh at people who think you can somehow ban guns.

  19. Lord Humungus

    Sweden bans M in chocolate trademark dispute

    The Svea Court of Appeal said Wednesday it ruled against Mars in a trademark dispute with Kraft Foods, which sells chocolate-covered peanuts under the Marabou brand with a single “m” on the packaging.

    It said Kraft has exclusive rights to the trademark in Sweden.

    However, it added that using the upper-case M, as Mars does in its corporate communications, doesn’t constitute a trademark infringement in Sweden.

    Mars said: “We have always believed no confusion exists” between the two products and that it would “assess the next steps for our beloved brand in Sweden.”

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      They own letters now.

      1. Glide

        The worst part is I was late to the ensuing trademark bum rush and now I can’t even sign my name to this post with Latin characters, I have to use my trademarked symbol.

        ??

        (A single “Greek Small Reversed Dotted Sigma Lunate Sigma symbol” / “boob” was already taken)

        1. Rhywun

          Why not go with the enhanced version –

          ??

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

            Hardly anyone likes your big fake boobies.

    2. I keep trying to explain to those Swedes that the candy *I* sell is called W and Ws, they’re just reading it upside down.

      1. Rufus The Monocled

        Can I get a rimshot here?

        1. SugarFree

          Eddie doesn’t lean that way.

          1. You guys are wearing me out today….

            *massages brow, narrows gaze*

            1. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

          2. Rufus The Monocled

            You know this by experience?

            1. SugarFree

              Eddie doesn’t go in for your backdoor Canadian shenanigans. He’ll tell you himself. Kept it in your pants, you maple-sucking puck-slapper.

              1. Groovus Maximus

                You forgot the bagged milk…

                1. SugarFree

                  I thought that was just for their enemas.

  20. Rich

    Steven Aftergood, who directs the Federation of American Scientists’ Project on Government Secrecy, said even if any identities were revealed, they might be the names of analysts or midlevel administrators, not undercover operatives.

    “I don’t think there’s any particular vulnerability here,” Aftergood said.

    OK, Steven — let’s reveal *your* identity.

    1. What comes after good?

      So, he’s Steven Bad.

  21. Rufus The Monocled

    Question:

    Is naming a galaxy ‘Sombrero’ cultural appropriation?

    1. It’s still going to be less offensive than triggering capitalist terms like “tophat”. Or “monocole”.

  22. “Nearly half of unemployed Americans have quit looking for work, and the numbers are even worse for the long-term jobless, according to a poll released Wednesday that paints a grim picture of the labor market.”

    We’re not sending our best people. Sad!

    1. Glide

      They’re bringing obesity, they’re bringing illiteracy, they’re Wal-Mart customers – and some, I assume are good people.

  23. Lord Humungus

    If Obama’s immigration actions are upheld, what’s left of Congress?

    On top of this, the process of creating immigration policy within the White House will likely become even more unresponsive to the people. Currently, big policy changes within administrative law must go through a notice-and-comment process which allows the public to provide feedback and presumably influence the policy before it goes into effect. (Congress created the Administrative Procedure Act decades ago to make sure that the White House would be responsive to the public.)

    A key argument of the states suing the Obama administration is that DAPA and the extended DACA never went through this process. If the policies are allowed to stand, it would be a huge incentive for the executive branch to conduct more sweeping policy changes through memos rather than through the administrative process.

    “You can imagine agencies shifting a lot of rules that would normally go through notice-and-comment into instead policy statements,” noted Cornell Law Professor Jed Stiglitz. “To the extent we think we benefit from the notice-and-comment process, the transparency and so forth, that [shift] could be harmful.”

    1. Jerryskids

      Currently, big policy changes within administrative law must go through a notice-and-comment process which allows the public to provide feedback and presumably influence the policy before it goes into effect.

      What, is this article from 1998? They’ve been issuing clarification and guidance letters for years regarding “interpretations” of the regulations that expand and change the rules without actually triggering the new regulation rules requiring notice and comment. That’s what the whole “Chevron deference” case was about – the EPA suddenly “discovered” they had been wrongly interpreting a rule for 20 years that Chevron had been told they were okay with and when they sued to keep the EPA from changing the rules like that, the Supremes just shrugged and said “hey, they’re the ones who wrote the rules so who are we to second-guess them on how the rules should be interpreted?”.

  24. Slammer

    ‘I feel sexy and sensuous’: Woman with excess facial hair ditches her razors and grows a FULL BEARD after years of shaving (and insists she feels more ‘feminine’)

    1. Lee G

      The combat boots really complete the ensemble.

    2. Rich

      “I feel more feminine and it has very little to do with my appearance”

      Really?!

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Well, she wasn’t very feminine without the facial hair either.

      2. Rufus The Monocled

        I hear Crusty already contacted her.

        1. An unkempt beard is a huge turn off.

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

            So the contact was to offer grooming tips and assistance?

            “I got some mousse that’ll really make your whiskers stand up”

    3. Rule 34 could make her rich.

    4. PBR Streetgang

      Rose is actually a friend of a friend of mine. She actually seems like a really nice person.

      1. WTF

        Oh, come on, that’s Jack Black!

        1. Tom Bombadil

          Damn WTF, that is some synchronicity.

      2. Tom Bombadil

        I heard she just scored the lead in the sequel to “School of Rock”.

    5. Groovus Maximus

      Gimli approves…

      1. Dammit!

        1. Groovus Maximus

          PWND

    6. Eternal Blue Sky

      Excellent!! Every Man, Woman, and Child should have a GLORIOUS MANLY BEARD.

      THIS IS THE FUTURE.

      THE GLORIOUS, BEARDED FUTURE.

    7. Man that’s the largest and cutest Khazad I’ve ever seen!

    8. Agent Cooper

      Feline. She feels more feline.

  25. Lord Humungus

    Is the Jetpack Movement Finally Taking Off?

    JetPack Aviation may also have a shot at a U.S. military contract. According to Mayman and Tyler, they were contacted a few days after the New York flight by a secretive branch of the military, which flew the pair and their jetpack to an oceanside military base, where Mayman gave a flight demonstration. Mayman and Tyler say the military is interested in jetpacks for so-called extraction situations, where a soldier needs to be rescued from behind enemy lines. Military officials thought the jetpack might also be useful for incursion, until they heard its awful din. Mayman recalled that when the jetpack started, an officer said, “I guess we won’t be surprising anyone.” Jetpack Aviation now has a research-and-development agreement with the U.S. Special Operations Command, and it is developing a four-turbine jetpack that will lift twice the weight?up to about 700 pounds?and require twice the fuel.

    For now, the jetpack’s most practical application is drawing eyes on YouTube. “This was all for fun,” Tyler says, while leaning on a truck bed during the test flights. “Now we want to get it to the point where we can sell it. But we won’t sell it until it’s perfect?and perfect costs money.”

    1. Tom Bombadil

      I heard they won’t be possible until the year 2000.

  26. straffinrun

    Man gets arrested for flashing his nipples at young women.

    A male Shiga Prefecture city official known online as the “nipple man” was arrested on Sunday for allegedly flashing high school girls on a train, drawing shock and ire from the mayor of his city.

    1. So, are we talking at least a B-cup moob here?

    2. invisible furry hand

      presumably it helps Nippleman with his superpowers, whatever they might be

      1. Lee G

        Instantly taking the temperature of the room.

        1. In this case, not receptive.

    3. Rich

      Hey, whatever happened to Nipplemancer who used to comment here?

      1. He was recently arrested for flashing his nipples at high school girls.

    4. Japanese dudes should only do that in the privacy of their apartments while watching tentacle porn.

    5. Eternal Blue Sky

      So grope a girl on a train in Japan and everything is fine.

      Show her your nipples, get arrested.

      Japan is a hell of a drug!!

      1. That’s the problem. He went straight to flashing crabeyes without romancing them with a little grope first. Foreplay is truly dead.

  27. Bee Tagger

    “I regret these comments that he made,” Ryan said Tuesday

    It’s times like these that I think back to the effort that was made to paint Paul Ryan as an Ayn Rand acolyte and laugh. Try to fathom one of her protagonists expressing regret for words someone else said.

  28. Lord Humungus

    John rejoices…

    America’s Obesity Epidemic Hits a New High

    The two reports from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that efforts to encourage Americans to lose weight ? at least to stop putting on more weight ? are having little effect.

    Overall, 38 percent of U.S. adults are obese and 17 percent of teenagers are, the two reports find.

    That’s obese ? medically defined as having a body mass index (BMI), a measure of height to weight, that’s more than 30. Another third or so of Americans are overweight.

    People are considered overweight when their BMI hits 25, and they are obese when it gets to 30.

    1. Rufus The Monocled

      NBC.

      Yeah-k.

    2. CPRM

      Aaron Rodgers has a BMI of 29 I believe, that lazy fat fuck.

  29. Jerryskids

    $617 billion? I’ll bet if fthey have hundreds of billions of dollars they can afford to hire a proffreader that knows the difference between a million and a billion.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      But the money would be better spent on a proofreader, t think.

      1. Physician, heel thyself.

        1. Groovus Maximus

          If I had a nickel…

          1. You’d be a podiatrist?

    2. hire a proffreader

      we at least have the excuse of not having a budget.

  30. Slammer

    Waitress assaulted on French Riviera for ‘serving alcohol’ on first day of holy month of Ramadan

    “I”m so scared. I find it hard to understand. Why did they insult me? Why this slap? I feel debased, humiliated, sullied. I don’t want other women to have be victims of such an attack,” said the young women, herself a Muslim who observes Ramadan.

    “It’s not because I serve alcohol that I’m not fulfilling my (religious) duty,” she said. “I do it because I’m a waitress. In Tunisia, I did the same job and never had the slightest problem,” she told Nouvel Obs.

    “I didn’t think that in France, country of liberty, I would have been assaulted like that.”

    In October 2014, three men, including the owner of a Halal store – since forcibly closed by police – threatened a baker who sold ham sandwiches, saying he wasn’t a “good Muslim”.

    They were handed six months suspended sentences last year.

    1. I find it hard to understand

      Really?

    2. Rufus The Monocled

      “I didn’t think that in France, country of liberty, I would have been assaulted like that.”

      Not anymore it ain’t, honey.

      1. “I didn’t think that in France, country of liberty, …”

        Yeah….I was wondering about that.

        1. In fairness, her baseline for comparison is Tunisia, so on a relative scale like that France probably doesn’t seem that bad.

          1. Rhywun

            In Tunisia, I did the same job and never had the slightest problem

            Sounds like Tunisia might be freer in some aspects.

            1. Mickey Rat

              More that some Muslims are overcompensating for being in an infidel country in a way that ones in Tunisia do not feel such a need.

    3. I’ll file this under cultural enrichment through refusal to assimilate.

      1. WTF

        Assimilation is racist.

    4. “I didn’t think that in France, country of liberty, I would have been assaulted like that.”

      Edmund Burke would like a word.

  31. sarcasmic

    ‘I refuse to have my life diminished by other people’: Garbage singer Shirley Manson, 49, defies ageist trolls who say she is too old for rock ahead of band’s sixth album release

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..album.html

    I don’t care what people say. I still like Garbage.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I think “Only Happy When It Rains” is a great song. Think about the lyrics without the music. They have a real classic feel. That song could’ve been done by, say, Ella Fitzgerald or Frank Sinatra and it would be a standard today.

      1. That's A Bingo!

        That song could’ve been done by, say, Ella Fitzgerald or Frank Sinatra and it would be a standard today.

        The Richard Cheese cover.

    2. Lee G

      Too old for rock? Based on what standard?

      1. Certainly not the Rolling Stones standard.

        1. Groovus Maximus

          That one, admittedly, is a sliding scale.

          1. WTF

            We need to start worrying about what kind of world we are going to leave for Keith Richards.

      2. Private Chipperbot

        I like her, but she looks like hot garbage in that third photo.

    3. robc

      sixth?

      What happened to the good ole days of releasing at least 1 album per year?

      They should be on their 30th.

      1. SugarFree

        Bands make all their money touring now.

    4. 49 is young for a rock star.

      1. Tom Bombadil

        I would buy a vowel.

        1. Tom Bombadil

          Holy cow did that end up in the wrong place.

    5. Mickey Rat

      “You’re never too old
      To Rock n Roll
      If you’re too young to die”

  32. “Nearly half of unemployed Americans have quit looking for work, and the numbers are even worse for the long-term jobless, according to a poll released Wednesday that paints a grim picture of the labor market.”

    Josh “Baghdad Bob” Earnest thinks otherwise.

    1. Rich

      I *still* can’t believe that’s his name.

      1. Irony is his middle name.

  33. sarcasmic

    Pitch and pop! Talented golfer pulls off incredible trick shot by firing a ball at a champagne bottle to remove the cork

    Golfer has wife hold an unopened bottle of champagne out by her side
    He fires a golf ball at it and his controlled swing sees him hit the cork
    The cork is seen flying from the bottle as the ball bounces into the air
    Couple then fill their flute glasses and celebrate shot with quick drink

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-cork.html

    I wonder how many bottles he broke before he got it right.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      Chevy Chase?

    2. Let’s see William Tell do *that!*

    3. Tom Bombadil

      Let me be the first to call bullshit.

    4. Another trick shot.

      1. Tom Bombadil

        Ha! Hit him right in the Chi Chi.

  34. Officials Give Up Search for Idiot Who Fell into Yellowstone Hot Spring

    Yellowstone National Park rangers have suspended efforts to recover the body of an Oregon man who fell into a boiling hot spring on Tuesday, The Associated Press reports.

    “They were able to recover a few personal effects,” park spokeswoman Charissa Reid told AP on Wednesday. “There were no remains left to recover.”

    Colin Nathaniel Scott, 23, from Portland, Oregon, was with his sister, Sable Scott, when he left the boardwalk near Pork Chop Geyser, park officials said.

    “We extend our sympathy to the Scott family,” Yellowstone Superintendent Dan Wenk said in a statement Wednesday. “This tragic event must remind all of us to follow the regulations and stay on boardwalks when visiting Yellowstone’s geyser basins.”

    Jellystone is like a magnet for Darwin Award wannabes.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Well, many people who go there are dumber than the average bear.

    2. Tom Bombadil

      “an Oregon man who fell into a boiling hot spring ”

      I’ve heard poaching can be a problem in some of our National Parks.

      1. Lee G

        *golf clap*

  35. Pope Jimbo

    Exhibit 5,281 of why school officials are thin skinned cunts

    School tries to discipline a kid the day after he graduates. Original transgression that he was punished for was also super stupid.

    1. straffinrun

      I like that kid.

  36. Lord Humungus

    Scientists Expose Shady Chinese Emissions Statistics

    Measuring emissions from static sources like power plants is relatively easy, but even there China’s self-reported numbers have proven to be unreliable. When you start trying to encapsulate the collective emissions of hundreds of thousands of cars and trucks, the complexity of the task is necessarily going to introduce a larger margin of error. In this sense, it’s not surprising to hear that Chengdu’s car emissions may be more than twice as high as previously estimated.

    But it’s vitally important to keep the inaccuracy of Chinese statistics in mind when considering global climate efforts. The country is far and away the world’s biggest emitter of greenhouse gases, but its long history of statistical opacity and the strong incentives its local governments have to fudge the numbers they report to Beijing’s central planners make it difficult to get a handle on precisely how much China is emitting, and in the coming years how much it’s doing to curtail those emissions.

    1. Medical Physics Guy

      This isn’t the story. The story is why the media continues to gullibly trust ANY statistic announced by one of their pet autocratic governments. This happened routinely with Soviet figures, which were lovingly repeated by the New York Times, until the wall fell and the game of pretend had to end. And now the press carries the same water for their beloved technocratic geniuses who rule China.

    2. Meanwhile, our dipsh1ts in government want us to tighten our belts and go on a Carbon diet.

    3. Fortunately, statistical opacity adds to the planet’s albedo.

    4. GILMORE?

      I have pointed out before (w/ reuters article) that the margin of error in China’s estimated carbon emissions is larger than the entire annual emissions of the European Union.

      The last time Beijing produced an official figure was in 2005, when it said its emissions stood at “approximately” 7.47 billion tonnes. And while it has promised that emissions will peak by 2030 at the latest, experts say the statistical uncertainty is so great that forecasts on what that peak means can vary from 11 to 20 billion tonnes a year.

      That margin is greater than the entire annual carbon footprint of Europe

      The article (here) doesn’t specifically say so, but its clear from the details that the estimates inscrutable and meaningless by design; China recognizes that this is fundamentally a political issue, not a scientific one, and so any interest people take in its environmental economic output is a threat to their own sovereignty.

      Everyone else on Earth politely pretends that its all OK and we shouldn’t dwell on China, lest people realize that everyone else is also probably gaming their data for personal benefit.

      The whole thing is a joke. no one talks about China because it makes a mockery of the entire mess.

      oints out that these results (or lack thereof) are by design; that there’s little

  37. invisible furry hand

    fun with 100 dancing drones in the night sky. Enjoy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uTPeJPxLZU

    1. Lee G

      Somewhere, some FAA bureaucrat just had a stroke.

  38. Slammer

    Documents released on Tuesday show that a San Juan K-9 dog died of a heat stroke after his handler forgot to take him out of a police unit.

    Officer Cerrillo’s statement showed that he was gone for about an hour and a half before realizing he forgot Rex in his police unit.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      “he forgot Rex in his police unit”

      Is this a euphemism?

    2. Does the dog get a full funeral complete with bagpipes?

      1. B. Woodrow Chippenhaus

        And the murderer labelled a cop killer and gunned down by a horde of vengeful blueshirts?

        1. Official reprimand and forty-five minutes of desk duty, followed by a promotion and back-pay.

          1. K-9s are only officers of the court when a lowly peasant is involved. If a cop kills one, they’re just a goddamned animal, as disposable as toilet paper.

            Much like humans that way.

  39. Rich

    Commissioner says fraud from Obamaphone program approaching $500 million

    The subsidy is limited to one per “independent economic household,” or IEH, but telecom companies have the ability to override that restriction if applicants check a box stating they represent a separate household, even if they have the same address.

    Sweet!

    1. So… greedy corporations to blame?

  40. My Husband’s Unconscious Racism Nearly Destroyed Our Marriage

    I talked to my white therapist about it and she commended me for being willing to work through these tough issues. I didn’t feel support. Instead, I felt betrayed by the two white people I’d allowed into my intimate confidence. When I was a child, my father had told me never to trust white people, and now I felt that his warning had been validated….

    I’d realized that, although being with Kevin had helped me to recognize the racist attitudes I’d unconsciously swallowed, he hadn’t been able to do the same. He wasn’t willing to face his own racism, and this meant I didn’t trust my husband with my Blackness. I am not na?ve; I do not expect another person to ever understand and accept the whole of me. I think that is highly unrealistic and self-centered. But my Blackness defines how the world engages with me, and it is something that he had to understand and embrace for us to be together. And in order for him to do that, he had to own his racism. He had to acknowledge he was racist, harbored racist thoughts, and said and did racist things.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      “But my Blackness defines how the world engages with me, and it is something that he had to understand and embrace for us to be together.”

      I think I’ve found the source of the problem.

      1. arbitrary wavefunction

        “And in order for him to do that, he had to own his racism. He had to acknowledge he was racist, harbored racist thoughts, and said and did racist things.”

        Yes. That will help. Make sure to tell all white people that they’re deeply racist and need to admit it. Maybe corner them and demand that they chant ‘black lives matter’. That’ll wake everyone up.

      2. Rich

        “When I was a child, my father had told me never to trust white people, and now I felt that his warning had been validated”

        “I wished I had never rebelled by marrying a white devil.”

      3. Rhywun

        Racism for me, but not for thee…

    2. Lee G

      I tried to read some of that, but the amount of projection is astounding.

      1. Cyto

        Yes, times a thousand.

        I ran into this with my ex… and it might not be entirely this lady’s fault. When we first started dating, my ex used to wonder aloud if I was going to take her in the woods and rape and murder her, like her grandmother used to tell her white men did all the time.

        Many years later, when she was starting to come apart at the seams after multiple miscarriages, there were plenty of black voices around her willing to ply her with racist talk of “being with her own people” and such. It was pretty evil stuff, and it definitely had an effect.

        Because they are in counseling, I’ll make my wild-ass guess that she wants a way out and is using racism as an excuse for her desire to violate her vows. Rationalization is a powerful thing.

    3. “racist attitudes I’d unconsciously swallowed”

      1. You *would* hone in on that phrase.

    4. Lucky guy.

      1. WTF

        It’s his own fault for sticking his dick in crazy. He had to, on some level, know what he was getting into.

    5. I like the way she anthropomorphizes her skin color. It’s her Blackness and it goes with her everywhere, talking constantly and having huge expectations.

      1. SugarFree

        My Blackness knits at night while I sleep.

        1. invisible furry hand

          i wish my whiteness did something that useful at night – it’s a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm, so it never really managed to master purl stitch

          1. You use your words so purty. Ever hang out with Agile Cyborg?

            1. invisible furry hand

              no, just the Stooges

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vnwSVTOnqQ

          2. i wish my whiteness did something that useful at night – it’s a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm, so it never really managed to master purl stitch

            Is it the runaway son of a nuclear A-bomb?

            *jams quietly to self in cubicle*

            1. invisible furry hand

              look out honey cos i’m using technology

        2. WTF

          I think maybe your Blackness writes horrifying fiction here as well.

          1. SugarFree

            Let’s not blame my Blackness for that. Besides, it might just be a mole.

            1. That’s more of an ocher brown.

      2. Eternal Blue Sky

        My Norse-Gaelicness keeps burning down monasteries and enslaving Irish people. It’s super awkward.

        1. Racists hardest hit.

        2. Granny Weatherwax

          My Polishness keeps riding into tank battles on a horse.

    6. Lord Humungus

      I know someone who is going to remain single for a very long, long time.

      1. Prediction: She gets a divorce, remarries a black man and spends the rest of her life wondering why that didn’t fix the problem.

        1. Rich

          “A *real* Black man would have embraced my Blackness!”

        2. lap83

          This.

    7. Rufus The Monocled

      Aaaand la piece de resistance:

      “…It’s no longer focused on his hurt feelings or fears that I hate all white people. Instead, it’s about knowing that all white people in this country are racist until they take on the continuous task of unlearning what everyone and everything has taught them about race in America.”

      Amazing.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        “white people in this country are racist until they take on the continuous task of unlearning”

        Yes, white people should all quit their jobs and devote every living hour to reflecting on their racism.

        1. Rich

          The government will pay them $15/hour for this, though, right? RIGHT?!

        2. Rufus The Monocled

          The irony is she wallows in her own abject racism and ignorance.

          1. WTF

            Only whitey can be racist, because PRIVILEGE!

    8. Rufus The Monocled

      From comments:

      Like ? Reply ? 2 ? 2 hrs ? Edited
      Philip Brewbaker ? Streeling University
      I’ve never been to the South, but the impression left is that all the ‘good ol’ boys’ are driving pickups with a gun rack in the back: on one rack is a rifle, on the other, a fishing rod, and yes, absolutely, I’d expect every one of these ‘Boy Scouts’ to have a pocket knife on his person. So that could be mostly a cultural attribute to which you’re assigning a race importance.

      Might I recommend you and your spouse vacation in Black-majority regions of the World (Africa, Papua New Guinea, etc)? So that he can at least get a feeling for what it feels like to be overwhelmingly in the minority, and how it changes everything you see, and everything that happens to you. Many people of a majority race have an unrealized ‘understanding’ that society couldn’t function without ‘people like them’, and its jarring and liberating to observe how untrue that it.

      1. I’m guessing Philip has never been to Africa or Papua New Guinea either.

        1. New Guinea is the worst place God made.

          In the words of Neal Stephenson “nothing endures there but the rocks and wasps”.

          1. Rufus The Monocled

            When you say ‘wasps’ you don’t mean white anglo saxon protestants, right?

            Jjjjusssst checking.

        2. mad.casual

          I’m guessing Philip has never been to Africa or Papua New Guinea either.

          Considering his correspondence is from Streeling University on the planet of Trantor, I’d guess Phillip hasn’t been a lot of places in reality.

    9. Citizen X

      Well, ONE person in that marriage is certainly obsessed with race.

    10. Chipwooder

      The dread racist boxcutter menace….I’ve seen it a thousand times.

    11. B. Woodrow Chippenhaus

      When I was a child, my father had told me never to trust white people, and now I felt that his warning had been validated….

      But it’s the husband who’s the racist, yeah…

    12. My favorite thing about my ex was her unapologetic racism against everyone. If a black woman isn’t cashing in on that privilege, her loss.

  41. straffinrun

    Since I missed out on the Stanhope thread I’ll drop this story here. Back when we were in high school, one of my brothers told my mom to make herself scarce because he was going to bring his new girlfriend by to watch TV. He was embarrassed of her. My mom said that she’d be gone until 6. However, she cleaned out an old Alpo dog food can and filled it with corned beef. She waited until my brother and his new gal were sitting on the couch watching the tube before she crept downstairs in her rattiest bathrobe, Alpo can in hand. She sat down between them and started spooning huge chunks from the can into her mouth. My brother was pissed, but he learned it’s family before hos.

    1. Lee G

      Your mom’s cool.

    2. A valuable lesson, indeed. And at least she wore a bathrobe.

    3. invisible furry hand

      God blesx that mother of yours

    4. LOL. Brilliant!

    5. Elspeth Flashman

      Excellent trolling! By your mom.

      1. straffinrun

        Child Protective Services would probably be called if she tried that these days.

        1. My oldest brother had CPS called to the house due to misbehaving at school. They sent a couple of humorless biddies to interview my mother. While they were sitting in the living room, my toddler sister, pretending to be a cat, planted her face in the cat dish and began munching kitty kibble. The women were horrified.

    6. WTF

      Your mom is awesome.

    7. Maven Houlihan

      Why remove the Alpo? It’s not that bad. However, like most dog food, it needs a little salt.

    8. Awesome.

  42. “Nearly half of unemployed Americans have quit looking for work, and the numbers are even worse for the long-term jobless, according to a poll released Wednesday that paints a grim picture of the labor market.”

    They’d have a job if they weren’t quitters.

  43. Rich

    Keep CHICKENS if you want a better life, billionaire Bill Gates tells poor people

    But you got to know your chicken.

    1. Zeb

      What the hell was that all about?

      He’s right about the chickens, but that seems like something poor people in un-developed countries already know about.
      But I suppose that for charitable food giving, livestock is a very good idea since it can be sustained and has the possibility to create economic activity rather than stifling it as simple food donations often do.

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah, I see ads for donating livestock on the train. Oxfam, I think.

        1. I hope they slow it down before donating.

          1. Rhywun

            Are you here all week?

            1. Tip your waitress.

    2. “Yes, Bill, but I don’t practice voodoo and I’m not into kinky…wait, you mean keep some cocks for professional cockfighting? Sure…”

    3. Eternal Blue Sky

      Ha!! I made a similar argument back in high school where we had to write a persuasive essay.

      I chose the topic “Why we should replace our currency with chickens” just to troll.

      Half the essay was things like Gates’ statement, pointing out how owning chickens can be a valuable asset for the poor.

      The other half was proposing that, for convenience, banks could issue chicken-backed bank notes and asserting that even poultry-backed currency was superior to fiat currency, in that it was backed by an actual, tangible thing of real value.

  44. lafe.long

    California: New Law Raises Age Limit for Smoking to 21, Categorizes E-Cigarettes as Tobacco Products

    California’s new smoking restrictions took effect Thursday after being signed into law in May by Gov. Jerry Brown. It joins Hawaii to become the second state with an over-21 law.

    1. Is it too f***ing hard to have a single age of majority – for voting, smoking, drinking, going to war, etc.?

      1. Zeb

        Apparently so.

    2. WTF

      Yes, a product which contains absolutely NO tobacco, is now a tobacco product. Because, reasons.

      1. Zeb

        Strictly speaking, if the nicotine is derived from tobacco, it is (at least in part) a tobacco product. But the vaporizers are not and it’s still stupid. We should be talking about lowering or eliminating the drinking age, not infantilizing more and more supposed adults.

        1. WTF

          And then if the nicotine used is not derived from tobacco but is synthesized instead, then this wouldn’t apply? I somehow doubt it.

          1. lafe.long

            Not only that, but e-cigs can be (and are) used totally without nicotine at all.

          2. Zeb

            No, probably not.

      2. Rhywun

        I would like to think that this newest quackery would cause a libertarian moment for lots of Americans but I don’t have that much hope any more.

        1. No, the internet has decided vapers are douchy and therefore open game.

          1. Zeb

            And that right there is why politics is hopeless.

    3. GILMORE?

      I’m pretty sure the article is wrong. NYC has had 21-to-buy-smokes signs for years now.

      I guess NY *state* is still 18… but that’s still surprising to me.

  45. Lee G

    A man who has to give police 24 hours’ notice before he has sex despite being cleared of a rape charge has said: “It puts an end to your life”.

    He accused North Yorkshire Police of “sour grapes” in applying for a Sexual Risk Order (SRO) after he was acquitted of rape.

    He was cleared at a retrial, having spent 14 months on remand.

    The terms of the SRO, currently an interim order which the police will apply to be made permanent at a hearing in August, has a list of conditions attached.

    Among them is the requirement for him to inform police 24 hours before he has sex with a new partner.

    1. WTF

      Just when I think about how horrible America has become, along come the Brits to show me how much worse things can get.

      1. Cyto

        I saw that article a few days back and I still can’t get my head around it. How in the world can this even remotely be within the purview of the government?

        This kind of thing really would be enough to make you into a serial killer.

    2. sour grapes

      Hey now, language.

  46. Cynical Asshole

    From the “Nearly half of unemployed Americans have quit looking for work” link:

    Job creation, after averaging more than 200,000 for much of the recovery, has slowed considerably this year. May saw just 38,000 new jobs, part of a trend in which payrolls have grown an average of 116,000 over the past three months and less than 150,000 for all of 2016.

    The greatest concentration of unemployment is in the 18-29 age group, which comprises one-third of all the jobless:

    I’m sure that has nothing whatsoever to do with the increased shrieking for a $15 an hour minimum wage, or the huge (‘uuuuge) uncertainty over the presidential election. Nope, just KKKORPRATT GREEDZ!!1!!111!!!!!!

    1. If you ask the innumerate progs about it they’ll happily inform you that it doesn’t count because the increase is still being phased in.

  47. Homple

    OKLAHOMA CITY -You may have heard of civil asset forfeiture. That’s where police can seize your property and cash without first proving you committed a crime; without a warrant and without arresting you, as long as they suspect that your property is somehow tied to a crime.

    Now, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol has a device that also allows them to seize money in your bank account or on prepaid cards.

    http://www.news9.com/story/321…..of-a-crime

    1. Zeb

      There was a post about that yesterday.

      1. Homple

        I suspected that might be so, but didn’t see it.

  48. SugarFree

    I Was There When Beyonc? Sneezed Onstage, and It Was a Marvel

    I was there; I witnessed it, firsthand. And in that two-hour tour-de-force set, some tens of thousands of other wide-eyed loyal subjects and I bore witness to something even more incredible, even more ethereal than one could imagine. Beyonc? sneezed.

    Yes, Beyonc? sneezed. While adorned in an MJ-inspired leotard and just before launching into “Love on Top.” It was an adorable sneeze?the quietest, tiniest little sneeze. (The exact opposite of that viral sneezing baby panda, but as cute.) As if on cue, the crowd cheered in near-perfect unison. In this seemingly mundane act, she reminded us of how she excels at being both totally normal and superhuman, at the same time.

    1. invisible furry hand

      “and when she inserted the burning newspaper between her miraculous buttocks and performed the dance of the flaming flamingo, she transcended normality and superhumanity, and became truly divine”

    2. Lee G

      That reminds of the time I went to a Cure concert. It was just after they had gone more pop and the audience was filled with teenage girls. Robert Smith walked over to the drummer and said something to him, probably along the lines of “watch this”, then he fell down on stage and every girl in the arena shrieked with joy and admiration for something that took literally zero talent or preparation. That was when I stopped listening to the The Cure.

      1. Ken Shultz

        I saw that show, except instead of falling to the ground, he started making out with the lead guitarist.

        The only teenage girl that shrieked was the goth chick next to me in the blood red wedding dress. It isn’t Robert’s fault that he got so popular. And Fascination Street came out after that–give the guy some credit.

    3. Ken Shultz

      Just after the sneeze, she bestowed a blessing on Panos the Wonder Child.

      http://tinyurl.com/hlclag2

    4. Cynical Asshole

      Oh, for fuck’s sake…

    5. WTF

      So, she’s replaced Humma Kavula as the Cult Leader for the Great Green Handkerchief Cult on planet Viltvodle VI?

    6. Eternal Blue Sky

      Seriously, why the obsession with this artist?? Why the insane, cultlike obsession??

      1. Seriously, why the obsession with this president?? Why the insane, cultlike obsession??

        Sad, empty people is why.

      2. Zeb

        Or any artist, for that matter. People are fucking nuts.

  49. Ken Shultz

    “Donald Trump says he is “disappointed and surprised” that top Republicans like Paul Ryan have criticized him for his racist attack on federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel.”

    One of the things I like about this place is that there are very few people who are likely to believe something is true just because you say it enough times.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I dunno. When the squirrels repeat something it gets more believable.

  50. Enough About Palin

    OHP Uses New Device To Seize Money Used During The Commission Of A Crime

    OKLAHOMA CITY – You may have heard of civil asset forfeiture.
    That’s where police can seize your property and cash without first proving you committed a crime; without a warrant and without arresting you, as long as they suspect that your property is somehow tied to a crime.

    Now, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol has a device that also allows them to seize money in your bank account or on prepaid cards.

    It’s called an ERAD, or Electronic Recovery and Access to Data machine, and state police began using 16 of them last month.

    Here’s how it works. If a trooper suspects you may have money tied to some type of crime, the highway patrol can scan any cards you have and seize the money.

    “We’re gonna look for different factors in the way that you’re acting,” Oklahoma Highway Patrol Lt. John Vincent said. “We’re gonna look for if there’s a difference in your story. If there’s someway that we can prove that you’re falsifying information to us about your business.”

    Troopers insist this isn’t just about seizing cash.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Reason had an article about this yesterday.

      The next logical step is scanning peoples’ debit cards and seizing the money in their checking and/or savings accounts.

      1. Zeb

        Nothing should surprise me, I suppose. But there is a bit of a leap to get there. Prepaid cards are much like cash in that the bearer can use them and transfer them to other people. Debit cards are linked to your name and the bank has to report large cash transactions.

        But all the forfeiture stuff should be illegal, so who knows what evil shit they might come up with.

    2. Rhywun

      It shows the state is paying ERAD Group Inc., $5,000 for the software and scanners, then 7.7 percent of all the cash the highway patrol seizes.

      jesus

      1. Sweet Jesus cinnamon titties motherfuck. What a business model.

        1. Rhywun

          Yet the Left will look at this and continue to call WalMart evil.

      2. Lee G

        Not a racket at all. Totally legit.

  51. Ken Shultz

    “ISIS has claimed responsibility for two suicide bombings in Baghdad that killed at least 25 people.”

    1. Ken Shultz

      But unlike Donald Trump, they didn’t say anything “racist”, so they get some credit for that.

      1. They want *everyone,* regardless of race, to submit to their version of Islam.

  52. Police confront armed robbers during McDonald’s robbery.

    You’d expect a bloodbath of panicked friendly fire, but this took place in France, not America.

  53. Slammer

    #GirlIGuessImWithHer

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