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Big Tomato Backs Gary Johnson, Microsoft Backs Bitcoin for People, Yale Students Fight to 'Decolonize' Poetry Class: A.M. Links

Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 6.1.2016 9:00 AM

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  • Tomato tycoon Chris Rufer is donating at least $1 million to a pro-Gary Johnson super-PAC. 
  • Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses. 
  • Raids, cover-ups, and magical dogs: inside the Columbia, South Carolina, police files. 
  • Jimmy Carter has feels about prostitution.  
  • Microsoft is working with Blockstack Labs and ConsenSys to develop an "open source, self-sovereign, blockchain-based identity system that allows people, products, apps, and services to interoperate across blockchains, cloud providers, and organizations." 
  • Men and women prove equally assertive on Facebook.
  • "I don't hold back that I'll be voting for Donald Trump in November," Fox News host Sean Hannity said Tuesday evening. 
  • Maine cracks down on rogue midwives. 

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NEXT: Canadian Businesswoman Says Three Male CBP Officers Sexually Assaulted Her

Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a senior editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    "I don't hold back that I'll be voting for Donald Trump in November," Fox News host Sean Hannity said Tuesday evening.

    I don't hold back that I am not surprised.

    1. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

      He's been pretty obviously pro-Trump since the beginning. Or maybe it was just all the other pants-shitting by other right wing radio that made it seem that way.

      1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

        No, he's been very very clearly pro-Trump. He wasn't even pro-Trump compared to the NeverTrump brigade. He's been Chris Christie, except there by choice instead of blackmail.

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Hello.

  2. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Maine cracks down on rougue midwives.

    They were wearing entirely too much makeup.

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      It's spelled wrong for that word too.

      Elizabeth...

      🙁

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        It's how the Canadians spell Ragu.

        It adds colour and flavour.

    2. lafe.long   9 years ago

      rogue midwives

      Good band name.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Men and women prove equally assertive on Facebook.

    Assertive seems like it's a nice way of saying something else.

    1. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      Cue the Miss Bossypants outrage!

      1. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

        #AnnihilateAssertive

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

          #NullNagging

    2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      Another a-word?

  4. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    185) How did mankind survive to the present day? It's only June 1st and already we've lost probably 30% of our garden to rabbits, birds, squirrels, etc. And the insects have barely gotten started! Not to mention hail, lack of rain, and whatever else the summer has in store for us. Judging from past summers, we'll lose 100% of some items (we have never once harvested a cucumber before the critters got to them), and more than 50% of most items.
    Now, we don't use pesticides because we have kids playing in the backyard, and the lack of rain typically seems to correspond with when we go to the beach and can't water, so we're really doing pre-industrial gardening. But again, that brings me to my point--how in the world did mankind do it in the days before pesticides, water hoses, etc.?

    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      Why do you think people kept cats?

      Also, previous generations would have gone "pesticides might make them sick, but going hungry will make them sick"

      And farmers plant larger plots.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        We have a cat! Sometimes she even removes herself from the couch long enough to reach the foodbowl! (She has caught two mice in our house in the past year, though, so she is earning her keep, sort of.)

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          Try not feeding her enough to subsist on without hunting...

        2. Juice   9 years ago

          If you own a cat and mice still came into your house, you really should clean your damned house and stop leaving food in accessible places. Maybe you have a bag of cat food or bird seed in the garage or something.

      2. WTF   9 years ago

        Cats, and also dogs kept the critters at bay. Breeds such as terriers were specifically bred to destroy nuisance critters such as rabbits, rats, mice, etc. Larger breeds were used as herders/drovers and livestock guards.

      3. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        If it makes you feel any better, JATNAS, I have two cats that spend their days outside (they think it's more fun out there) and my garden is still shit. Rain. Too much rain. The neighbor down the road with the massive garden, it's all gone to weeds now - he probably feels worse.

        There's always the fall garden. Locally, the farmers may lose their corn but most of them planted cotton or milo, so everyone's waiting with bated breathe for the harvest.

        My husband's Tio has been keeping me supplied with peppers and fresh corn. He has about the only decent garden I know of right now - and he's been farming since he was ten. That's almost like cheating.

        1. Chipper Morning Wood   9 years ago

          A Hamster that keeps cats? Living dangerously.

          1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

            No one keeps cats. I am owned by a pair of black cats, one very handsome and one smashingly ugly. They allow me to feed them well and regularly and tend to their health maintenance, so long as I supply devoted affection on demand.

            1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              So you're in a demanding, one-sided relationship with two things you can't fuck.

              Cat people are weird.

              1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

                This is truth.

    2. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      "...we've lost probably 30% of our garden to rabbits, birds, squirrels, etc."

      Seems like you need to be supplementing your diet with the local protein.

      1. Steve G   9 years ago

        This. Agriculture is a relatively new phenomenon. Eat the meat and supplement with whatever veggies you can keep alive.

    3. Broswater   9 years ago

      Well... maybe you're just a shitty farmer.... Kiding ! We had famine. Malthus agreed.

    4. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

      "and more than 50% of most items."

      I read that as "50% of most interns" and was outraged that you were using interns instead of orphans. (Although it appears you know how to properly treat an intern)

    5. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Yeah well, I have a pretty five year-old shrub that sprouts pretty pink flowers in which winter likely killed as well as my butterfly magnolia I planted but two years ago. Effen piss off.

    6. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

      I built a chicken wire enclosure. UF has offices in each county with master gardeners. They can help.

      1. SugarFree   9 years ago

        Chicken wire is unmutual.

      2. spqr2008   9 years ago

        My parent's garden is entirely enclosed, and terraced. If a critter wants in, it has to jump down 10 feet, and then is trapped. Probably not a problem for bears, but rabbits can't get in, and their neighbor's dog comes over fairly often (we let him run up and down the front of our property since his yard is smaller, and his owners a little older).

    7. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      "harvested a cucumber"

      Is that what all the cool kids are calling it these days?

    8. Agammamon   9 years ago

      Not very well at all - and that with back breaking labor from sun up to sun down.

    9. BigT   9 years ago

      I have a sonic generator (Yard Sentinel) near my garden that keeps pests away, and spray with Sevin up until a week before harvest to inhibit insects. In an 8x11 foot space I get several bushels of cukes, tomatoes, peppers, and basil, parsley, oregano, and cilantro. I add sand and peat every spring when I turn the soil by hand. You could get a soaker hose and a timer if needed to cover vacation time.

      There are lots of things that required real work for low yield in the old days. Embrace technology.

    10. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      "We were in the field before the sun came up and stayed there until the sun went down"

      - My grandfather, who grew up before the depression on a family farm in a remote, rural part of Louisiana.

  5. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

    Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses.

    Dead White Male Poets Society

    1. Slammer   9 years ago

      I hate when I have to de-colonize right when the lynx are posted

    2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      It's things like this that makes me want to recreate the pirate scene from the beginning of Meaning of Life, only my pirate crew would raid universities.

      1. Mike Laursen   9 years ago

        Aye!

    3. RBS   9 years ago

      Having glanced at the article, they want to "decolonize" one particular required class for English majors. A class dedicated to old white guy poetry.

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        Because why should English majors learn about the literary canon of the English language? That's just silly.

    4. straffinrun   9 years ago

      I take a shit when I want to decolonize.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

        Slammer's reference to bodily functions had nuance and ?lan.

        Heathen shitlord.

    5. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      "This department actively contributes to the erasure of history."

      Said the student activist arguing for the removal of Chaucer, Milton, Wordsworth, et al from the core curriculum of ENGLISH LITERATURE.

      1. Lee G   9 years ago

        I thought Chaucer was a black woman.

        1. Rich   9 years ago

          Only if you read her in Ye Olde Ebonyx.

          1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

            My name is Chaucer, the lady-devasta'
            I make you feel hotter than it is in Grenada
            the C-H-A-U-C-E-R
            Chaucer is who I are

      2. Suthenboy   9 years ago

        "Demoralization is a great brainwashing process that makes it so that the demoralized person cannot draw a sensible conclusion no matter how much information they have. It makes it so that they cannot defend themselves, their family or their country."

        Congratulations progressives. You created a generation of babbling morons indistinguishable from the mentally ill. They cant solve problems, innovate, or discover anything new. And, to what end? What is it you hope to accomplish with this evil?

        1. Slammer   9 years ago

          Submission to tyranny

        2. Free Society   9 years ago

          But they're so diverse! So what's it matter if they're only able to live and function in the world because of a dwindling number of non-retards supporting their existence?

  6. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Measles outbreak traced back to inmate at Arizona immigrant detention facility as confirmed cases continue to grow

    An outbreak of measles that began with an inmate at a federal detention center for immigrants in central Arizona has now grown to 11 confirmed cases.

    Seven of those infected are inmates at the Eloy Detention Center, and four are workers at the facility, Pinal County Health Services spokesman Joe Pyritz said.

    The privately-run facility has stopped accepting new detainees or releasing those currently held there.

    State and county health officials said they're working to stop new transmissions by isolating patients, vaccinating people detained in the privately-run facility and trying to identify people who were at locations the four infected workers visited.

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      Shut up, hater.

      /sarc

    2. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

      What is the big deal? A measly 11 cases doesn't seem like something to get worked up over.

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        *swiss stare*

        1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

          I do not recognize your faux stare. I only acknowledge real deal Swiss stares.

          1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

            Down with Papistry!

            *stabs Pope Jimbo*

            I call for a new reformation!

            1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

              See if things get better after this College of Cardinals picks my successor!

            2. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

              Oh, and no dispensations for you!

          2. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

            *narrows gaze*

    3. Jerryskids   9 years ago

      The Eloi Detention Center? Nobody even told me the Morlocks were on the loose!

    4. Mindyourbusiness   9 years ago

      Light the Trump Signal!

    5. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      I am surprised Obumbles hasn't ordered the release of those infected.

  7. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    "I don't hold back that I'll be voting for Donald Trump in November," Fox News host Sean Hannity said Tuesday evening.

    You are a great america making great american.

    1. Libertarian   9 years ago

      Again, a great American making America great again.

      Almost a palindrome. Or, in Hannity's case, a palindrone.

      1. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

        Literally, that's unbelievable!

      2. Curt   9 years ago

        Palindrone? Commanded by Palin or attacking Palin? I can support one of these.

  8. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

    Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses.

    Expel the current student body, fire all the faculty and staff and start over, the university has rotted too much

  9. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Raids, cover-ups, and magical dogs: inside the Columbia, South Carolina, police files.

    THOSE PERSONNEL FILES ARE CONFIDENTIAL THE PUBLIC HAS NO RIGHT

  10. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Or looking into SugarFree's dark soul...

    Rare disease can make you think you're dead

    Worry about your health at times? Well, at least you don't believe you have no body parts, blood, or organs, or consider yourself dead or immortal. Yet those are among the beliefs plaguing people with Cotard's syndrome, an illness discovered in 1880 that's extremely rare and awful when it strikes, Medical Daily reports.

    ...

    Researchers say the condition?also known as "walking corpse syndrome"?often begins with severe depression and a health anxiety that can inspire odd complaints. One 28-year-old woman, for instance, told hospital staff that her stomach was missing and her liver was "putrefying." The report on her case notes that the syndrome generally affects those in middle-age or later years, but when young people are diagnosed, they are overwhelmingly (90 percent) female.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "Or looking into SugarFree's dark soul..."

      Researchers are confounded by the cluster of Cotard's sufferers at Hit 'n' Run.

      1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

        SugarFree's writing only makes us wish we were dead. There's a difference.

        1. SugarFree   9 years ago

          Cotard's by proxy

    2. SugarFree   9 years ago

      I actually more afraid of that tick that can make you allergic to meat.

      1. bacon-magic   9 years ago

        The HORROR!

    3. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

      There's an episode of Hannibal that depicts this.

      1. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

        It's arguably one of the freakiest episodes of that show. And that is truly saying something.

        1. Free Society   9 years ago

          It's amazing that show was picked up by NBC of all networks.

    4. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Is it really a "disease"? Or just a mental problem.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        Or like transgenderism?

      2. Chip Woodier   9 years ago

        Cotardation, A Celebration.

      3. Zeb   9 years ago

        I don't know. But it could be a specific neurological problem. It's amazing how weird and specific symptoms of some things like that can be.

    5. Libertarian   9 years ago

      "the syndrome generally affects those in middle-age or later years"

      Well ain't that just great. Something else to look forward to in between my colonoscopies. Actually, I may have the disease already: I've lost my hair and my eyesight is failing.

  11. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Tomato tycoon Chris Rufer is donating at least $1 million to a pro-Gary Johnson super-PAC.

    Let's not call the whole thing off just yet.

    1. DJF   9 years ago

      Just shows that Johnson is in the pocket of "Big Tomato".

      1. Libertarian   9 years ago

        You know who else had a johnson in his pocket?

    2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      he's in it for the lulz, he doesn't honestly think that asshole can win.

      1. Jerryskids   9 years ago

        Rufer fought Sacramento forging the taxpayer's signature on the loan agreement for the King's new arena, too.

    3. straffinrun   9 years ago

      I hate Nazi ketchup.

      1. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

        Heilnz.

  12. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Microsoft is working with Blockstack Labs and ConsenSys to develop an "open source, self-sovereign, blockchain-based identity system that allows people, products, apps, and services to interoperate across blockchains, cloud providers, and organizations."

    Playing a game of technology telephone is not the best idea for press releases.

  13. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    'We can't go on like this': Shortages, economic crisis make Venezuela a nation of lines

    "Lines, lines, lines," lamented Anjelica Aguilera, 29, who waited for her pail to fill from the dripping pipe. She was among a dozen or so waiting. "We are all sick of lines!"

    Venezuela's financial crisis has transformed this sprawling capital into a city of lines, where multitudes face the regular indignity of queuing up for basics ? from pasta to toilet paper, rice to bank notes.

    The lengthy, dehumanizing lines ? a fact of life throughout the country ? represent the most dramatic illustration of the human toll of Venezuela's unforgiving economic breakdown.

    Each morning before dawn, legions of the city's humblest inhabitants venture forth to brave the lines, unsure if their quest will even yield what they need.

    1. John   9 years ago

      The beatings will, however, continue until conditions improve.

      1. Slammer   9 years ago

        In really bad countries there are no lines at all.

        /Bernie

        1. WTF   9 years ago

          Because all the rich people get the bread.
          I can't believe how many people would actually vote for this fucking moron.

          1. Libertarian   9 years ago

            What are you talking about, WTF? Everyone spending hours everyday standing in lines. I don't care who you are, that's a 100% employment rate.

        2. Lee G   9 years ago

          Just because this can't be shown enough

        3. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

          Sure, if they try hard enough and with another couple decades, Venezuela may yet descent to North Korea's level.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Venezuela's financial crisis socialism has transformed this sprawling capital into a city of lines, where multitudes face the regular indignity of queuing up for basics ? from pasta to toilet paper, rice to bank notes.

      FTFY

    3. KerryW   9 years ago

      Lines, lines, everywhere a line
      Blocking off the thoroughfare, takin' up my time
      No this, no that, please just wait in line

    4. Krokko   9 years ago

      Lines, lines
      Everywhere there's lines
      Fucking up the scenery
      Breaking my mind

      1. KerryW   9 years ago

        Copy cat 😛

    5. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

      You can pay for things with money or you can pay for it with time.

      Socialism chooses time.

  14. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses.

    Stop having class in the bathroom then, you dummies.

  15. John   9 years ago

    http://www.nationalreview.com/.....torricelli

    Joe Biden is tanned and ready. Replacing the first woman nominee with an evil white male not named Bernie Sanders would be a pretty bitter pill for the Dems to swallow.

    1. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

      Besides the fact that he has plenty of time left for a big gaffe or 10.

      You know, the dude that's all about passive resistance? Yeah, that's gonna sell.

    2. Idle Hands   9 years ago

      Just when I didn't think this presidential campaign couldn't get anymore entertaining, lunchbox joe swoops in to save the day.

    3. Red Rocks Rockin   9 years ago

      Would it piss off Bernie supporters that much? I can't think of anyone on the Dem side who doesn't think Biden's the bee's knees, and he's just goofy enough that the Reps wouldn't care if he was in office. His overall appeal is the main reason I thought he'd be a serious threat to win if he decided to run.

      If the rumored Biden/Warren ticket actually came about, that might be enough to placate the Bernouts.

      1. John   9 years ago

        I think Trump is going to kill Hillary and would kill Bernie. But Biden/Warren would be a very tough ticket to beat.

      2. You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)   9 years ago

        Progressives fuckin LOVE Biden. There are some hardcore Bernie socialists that won't vote for the D candidate, but many more of his voters will gladly go for Biden compared to Clinton.

        Before Trump, I figured Biden was the only way for the Ds to keep the WH.

  16. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

    "I don't hold back that I'll be voting for Donald Trump in November," Fox News host Sean Hannity said Tuesday evening.

    I mean, this is just stunning. Who would've guessed this, after he spent the last several months verbally fellating Trump!

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      Yeah, I would have figured Hannity for a Bernie or Hillary voter for sure!

    2. Ship of Theseus   9 years ago

      I mean, this is just stunning. Who would've guessed this, after he spent the last several months verbally fellating Trump!

      Just verbally?

  17. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    From the midwife article:

    "[Eleanor] Daniels [President of the National Association of Certified Professional Midwives] said the licensing system will bring accountability and oversight to midwifery as well as make it easier for midwives to get access to medication and insurance reimbursements.

    ""For those of us who are interested in greater access to midwifery care for any woman who chooses it, this is the pathway forward," Daniels said."

    Thoughts?

    1. John   9 years ago

      With the increasing ineffectiveness of antibiotics and with there seemingly a new flesh super bug every week, maybe going to the hospital isn't such a great idea these days.

      1. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

        Midwives (in my limited experience) seem to be hit or miss. They are great if the mom is having a normal delivery that a cabbie could handle if they were stuck in traffic, but if there are any complications at all, they shoot to the ER asap.

        1. Slammer   9 years ago

          The few I've met are always New Age-y hippies

          1. Jerryskids   9 years ago

            Go to the free clinic on the poor side of town and ask. You may need to be able to speak some Spanish, but you'll find people who understand you're looking for "cheap", not "alternative", medicine.

        2. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

          I think that is a good thing. Save money on a natural birth, but have an experienced person to tell you when you need to go the hospital.

        3. Jerryskids   9 years ago

          They are great if the mom is having a normal delivery that a cabbie could handle if they were stuck in traffic

          It's all well and good to have a cabbie deliver your babbie - but what if we're talking about an Uber driver? Huh? You gonna trust your midwifing to somebody with no certification whatsoever that they're capable of writing a check out to the state regulatory agency? Think of all those unqualified hacks out there just snatching random organs out of your hoo-ha with a pair of salad tongs thinking it's twins. I mean, sure, those are all going to get grandfathered in under the licensing scheme and the licensing scheme isn't actually anything but a rent-seeking barrier to entry and therefore will do nothing to get rid of hacks, but just lie back, close your eyes, and think of good intentions.

      2. Zeb   9 years ago

        Yeah, I think if you have a healthy pregnancy and aren't 100 miles away from everywhere, a home birth is a good option.

        1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

          My sister and I were both delivered at home, but we were children three and four. After my older brother's birth mom forswore hospitals.

  18. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    High blood pressure and sleepless nights? Have sex to help keep healthy, say experts

    A study published by British researchers in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health revealed having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.

    Experts have also found 30 minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more and having sex once or twice a week can improve levels of an antidy called immunoglobin A, which can prevent colds and infections.

    Shona Wilkinson, Nutritionist at SuperfoodUK.com, the online shopping destination for all things health and wellbeing said: "Regular sex can boost your immunity, improves bladder tone, brings stress relief, keeps your heart healthy, improves the quality of sleep and can even help to get rid of pain."

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Alright, alright, you talked me into it. Don't think we're going to be doing this all the time, though.

    2. Rich   9 years ago

      Onanism has the same benefits, right? RIGHT?!

      1. straffinrun   9 years ago

        As long as those Frosted Flakes are part of a well balance breakfast.

    3. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

      You could always just try to drive across the border into Canada too.

  19. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

    But students have launched a petition calling on Yale to "decolonise" the course. They want the university to abolish the major English poets requirement, and to refocus the course's pre-1800/1900 requirements "to deliberately include literatures relating to gender, race, sexuality, ableism, and ethnicity".

    The petition says that "a year spent around a seminar table where the literary contributions of women, people of colour, and queer folk are absent actively harms all students, regardless of their identity", and that the course "creates a culture that is especially hostile to students of colour".

    Ah yes, all those intersex gender-queer black poets that were Shakespeare's contemporaries will finally get their due!

    Next: let's decolonize the physics department and stop teaching the works of white heterosexual men like Einstein, Planck and Hawking.

    1. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

      Next: let's decolonize the physics department and stop teaching the works of white heterosexual men like Einstein, Planck and Hawking.

      I wouldn't be shocked. At my last institution, the physics department was under pressure to offer a BA in physics because the physics majors were complaining about "all the math they had to take." Yikes.

    2. Slammer   9 years ago

      "Who is the Tolstoy of the Zulus? The Proust of the Papuans?"

      Saul Bellow

    3. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      "Next: let's decolonize the physics department and stop teaching the works of white heterosexual men like Einstein, Planck and Hawking."

      We can at least stop teaching the work of the Jew and the cripple. /Hitler

    4. Rhywun   9 years ago

      abolish the major English poets requirement

      I'm OK with this. And I wouldn't take the new version, either.

      1. SugarFree   9 years ago

        It was only for English majors, not a gen-ed requirement. If they don't want to read English literature, maybe they shouldn't be English majors.

        It's like someone getting an Engineering degree objecting to all the math.

        1. Rhywun   9 years ago

          So, even more retarded than I thought. Of course.

    5. Zeb   9 years ago

      Oh, I bet a few of those poets were a bit queer. I mean, what other kind of poetry is there?

  20. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Advocates sue Fort Collins over topless ban

    A Fort Collins ordinance that bans women from appearing topless in parks and other public places is being challenged in federal court.

    Representatives of the Free the Nipple movement on Tuesday filed a civil complaint in U.S. District Court in Denver claiming the city's public nudity ordinance is unconstitutional and discriminates against women.

    In their complaint, plaintiffs Brittiany Hoagland and Samantha Six allege the city's regulation violates the free speech clause of the First Amendment as well as the equal protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      why is it these advocates are almost always those you generally aren't trying to see unclothed?

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Because attractive women understand the power of clothing.

      2. SugarFree   9 years ago

        That isn't always the case...

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          And you didn't find a pertinent picture?

          You only peddle smut that makes people want to die, don't you?

          1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

            +1 Cotard

          2. SugarFree   9 years ago

            Google hates you; take it up with them.

    2. John   9 years ago

      Because the Constitution is there to ensure everyone's feelings are vindicated, except of course anyone who is in any way normal.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        The purpose of the constitution is to delegitimize normalcy. This is known.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          If only.

      2. Zeb   9 years ago

        I don't know about a constitutional challenge. The equal protection part, maybe. But laws against toplessness should go.

  21. Slammer   9 years ago

    NYPD changes Use of Force guidelines.

    "By lowering their emotional state through de-escalation, you may be able to appeal to their rational mind, which may enhance the probability that the subject will voluntarily comply," the booklet says.

    Other changes include a mandate that cops fill out a new "Threat, Resistance or Injury Incident Worksheet" every time they fight with a suspect or use pepper spray or a Taser.

    A supervisor also will be required to investigate any time someone is injured or there's an allegation of brutality.

    Furthermore, the new rules explicitly prohibit cops from using force to keep suspects from swallowing illegal drugs or to remove them from someone's mouth or other orifice, and from using a Taser on someone handcuffed behind their back.

    Bullies are butthurt

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "This job's no fun anymore."

      /sad cop/

    2. Rich   9 years ago

      By lowering their emotional state through de-escalation, you may be able to appeal to their rational mind

      But enough about the presidential election.

    3. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

      "A supervisor also will be required to investigate any time someone is injured or there's an allegation of brutality."

      I don't know whether I should be more incensed that this wasn't already policy or amused that they think this will have any effect whatsoever.

    4. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      THIS IS BULL SHIT CAPTAIN!

      SHUT UP, MCGARNIGLE!

      /sits down grudgingly.

  22. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Tomato tycoon Chris Rufer is donating at least $1 million to a pro-Gary Johnson super-PAC.

    The head of a company named for a round red fruit supports Gary Johnson? iPads for all!

  23. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Tesco forced to fit incontinence pads with heavy duty theft alarms

    So many people have been stealing incontinence pads that one Tesco shop has had to fit them with heavy-duty theft alarms.

    From now on, the 'super large' packets of Tena pads will be protected with special tags in the supermarket's branch in Leith, Scotland.

    Why people are stealing so many Tena pads, however, we do not know.

    Each tag has a special siren attached, which goes off if someone tries to take the item without paying.

    They're pretty hi-tech ? which is why they're usually reserved for more expensive things like champagne or electronics.

    something something Haggis

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Only the "super large" ones? Cue shitstorm...

      1. neoteny   9 years ago

        The pack(et)s are super large, not the pads.

        1. neoteny   9 years ago

          I should have read down.

    2. Chip Woodier   9 years ago

      Shit. This is why. I mean, shit.
      TENA Pants Super Large - 4 x Packs of 12
      I bet seniors love to get a discount. And even assisted living centers.
      The price on these things is outrageously crappy. Damned feculators.

    3. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

      What's going on to cause so much pants-shitting in Leith?

  24. Rich   9 years ago

    "if you want to become well-versed in English literature, you're going to have to hold your nose and read a lot of white male poets."

    Oh, it gets worse ....

    To His Mistress Going to Bed
    by John Donne

    Come, Madam, come, all rest my powers defy,
    Until I labour, I in labour lie.
    The foe oft-times having the foe in sight,
    Is tir'd with standing though he never fight.
    Off with that girdle, like heaven's Zone glistering,
    But a far fairer world encompassing.
    Unpin that spangled breastplate which you wear,
    That th'eyes of busy fools may be stopped there.
    Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime,
    Tells me from you, that now it is bed time.
    Off with that happy busk, which I envy,
    That still can be, and still can stand so nigh.
    Your gown going off, such beauteous state reveals,
    As when from flowery meads th'hill's shadow steals.
    Off with that wiry Coronet and shew
    The hairy Diadem which on you doth grow:
    Now off with those shoes, and then safely tread
    In this love's hallow'd temple, this soft bed.

    ... etc.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      "hairy Diadem"

      Nice.

      1. Slammer   9 years ago

        Good album name

      2. Rich   9 years ago

        Oh, yes. Donne rocks.

    2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      Andrew Marfvell, To His Coy Mistress:

      Had we but world enough and time,
      This coyness, lady, were no crime.
      We would sit down, and think which way
      To walk, and pass our long love's day.
      Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
      Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
      Of Humber would complain. I would
      Love you ten years before the flood,
      And you should, if you please, refuse
      Till the conversion of the Jews....

      1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

        Marvell

      2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

        Richard Lovelace:

        Amarantha sweet and fair,
        Ah, braid no more that shining hair!
        As my curious hand or eye
        Hovering round thee, let it fly!

        1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

          Robert Burns:

          O my Luve is like a red, red rose
          That's newly sprung in June;
          O my Luve is like the melody
          That's sweetly played in tune.

          1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

            Lord John Wilmot:

            Then bring my bath and strew my bed,
            As each kind night returns:
            I'll change a mistress till I'm dead,
            And fate change me for worms.

            1. Libertarian   9 years ago

              "only time will tell
              If we stand the test of time "

              --Van Halen

              1. Jerryskids   9 years ago

                Is this where I post the David Allan Coe lyrics?

      3. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        We read this one when I was a freshman in college. I rather liked it. Life's short, so let's get it on. Really fit my mindset at the time.

        Andrew Marvell, the Marvin Gaye of the 17th century?

        1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

          Referring to the Marvell poem.

  25. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Raids, cover-ups, and magical dogs

    John Irving wrote a new novel?

  26. SugarFree   9 years ago

    Nothing about David French--the largest shit anyone ever took in the ocean--mounting an independent #NeverTrump run?

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

      I've been thinking about it and I don't understand why he would agree to run. What does he get out of running a campaign that has zero chance of winning due to lack of ballot access?

      Not to mention the fact that Kristol running a minor conservative intellectual figure that 99% of Americans have never heard in the Year of Trump is just breathtakingly tone deaf and sad.

      1. SugarFree   9 years ago

        I honestly think it is just to bleed off enough votes to beat Trump. They believe that a spoiler run and 4-8 years of Hillary would be less damaging to the GOP brand than President Trump.

        This a desperation move driven by Hillary's tanking head-to-head numbers.

        1. Red Rocks Rockin   9 years ago

          Would it even bleed off any more than are already determined not to vote for Trump anyway? It seems like Kristol would have better luck convincing the neocons to hold their nose and vote for Johnson as a protest vote than run some relatively obscure pundit that no one outside of NR's declining readership even knows about.

          This really speaks more to how much of a bubble people like Kristol live in that he thinks this is the way to take down Trump.

          1. SugarFree   9 years ago

            Well, you are dealing with people concerned with Team than anything else. Casting Trump as a Team Traitor and giving them a Team-approved vote as an alternative to staying home (which is a vote for Hillary in their warped logic) is a safer position than encouraging them to switch Teams because they may not come back to Team GOP in '20.

            But this does call into question the three-legged stool of the GOP theory. Kristol and the eGOP are more worried about SoCons leaving than the LINOs. Or--more likely--they don't think the libertarian wing of the GOP actually exists.

      2. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

        Has Kristol ever been good? My impression of him has always been standard "regurgitate the conventional political wisdom" with no real, original insights. I don't see why anyone would be persuaded by him about anything - definitely not to mount a presidential campaign that will just earn you loathing from at least 30% of the country.

        1. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

          He likes to see things get blown up, so he'll always have a following in some circles.

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

            Kristol likes to see things get blowed up real good:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPrHxPvsj4M

          2. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

            He's kind of the Michael Bay of the political world.

        2. Libertarian   9 years ago

          If Kristol is so smart, why doesn't he run himself?

      3. Libertarian   9 years ago

        "I don't understand why he would agree to run. What does he get out of running a campaign that has zero chance of winning due to lack of ballot access?"

        I look at this from the other direction. Why not run? He gets interviews, he's asked his opinion on issues, he gets to spout his philosophy. What's he got to lose? I wouldn't do it because I like my privacy, but different strokes.

    2. Idle Hands   9 years ago

      The #NeverTrump people decided their last hope to stop Donald Trump last name is French? The jokes practically write themselves.

      1. SugarFree   9 years ago

        He's a copsucker extraordinaire, obsessed with the secret transgender take over of America, has Muslim-killing bona fides and firmly embedded like a dry turd in the colon of the eGOP.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          He also doesn't approve of Prince

          I don't say any of this to denigrate Prince or his talents. And I don't say this to shame people out of listening to music they enjoy, though not all music is worth hearing. Rather, it's time for a dose of perspective. Music has its place, and gifted musicians undeniably enhance our lives, but if our hearts are given to these songs and those who make them, then our lives are unnecessarily impoverished. Marx famously declared religion to be the "opium of the people." But it's clear that tens of millions of Americans sedate their souls with a different drug: pop culture. Prince's death is sad, but for everyone but his family and friends, the pain it causes is the pang of withdrawal, not the ache of true spiritual loss.

          1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

            "But it's clear that tens of millions of Americans sedate their souls with a different drug: pop culture"

            David French is a charisma vacuum. He enters a room and the sum total of charisma decreases

            1. Lee G   9 years ago

              The idea that David French could attract votes is laughable. Kristol is off his damn rocker.

            2. John   9 years ago

              What does "sedate your soul" even mean? Is listening to Mozart or a Bizet Opera not also sedating your soul? I read shit like that and it makes me wonder if prigs like French are just that full of shit, just completely lack any sense of humanity or the sensual or both.

              1. Lee G   9 years ago

                It's the David Brooks mentality where everything must have an overarching moral purpose in order to be of any worth.

                1. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

                  You know who else felt everything must have an overarching moral purpose?

                  1. John   9 years ago

                    Last American Hero,

                    The same person who thought all modern art and music was "degenerate". You know the guy, had a funny little mustache and liked to paint.

                    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

                      Salvador Dali?

              2. tarran   9 years ago

                Let Sir Humphrey punditsplain this to you John!

          2. Catatafish & Woodchips   9 years ago

            "Marx famously declared religion to be the "opium of the people." But it's clear that tens of millions of Americans sedate their souls with a different drug: pop culture."

            The lack of awareness displayed by this SoCon of the highest order is astounding. It really boggles my mind how someone clearly possessing such a high degree of intelligence can exhibit such stupidity.

            1. SugarFree   9 years ago

              Religion got its hooks into him early, and he tied it into his emotions rather than his rational mind.

              1. John   9 years ago

                His problem is that he isn't as bright or as deep as he thinks he is. He clearly doesn't understand art or the relationship between the higher and the vulgar. He has the sophistication of an earnest 8th grader who just discovered Mozart. He basically thinks art's purpose is to somehow uplift the soul and that only high art can do that, thus high art is always good and the vulgar is always bad.

                He is incapable of understanding the relationship between the two and the necessity of the vulgar for art to ever speak fully to our emotions. The vulgar is part of us too. Basically, he is a half wit who doesn't realize it.

        2. John   9 years ago

          French manages to be on the wrong side of about every issue and even if you agree with him he is obsessed with issues that most of the country is tired of hearing about. That they could think running him is a good idea shows how far gone they are and how they have learned nothing from Trump owning their asses.

          I have frequently asked on here concerning the Never Trump crown just how many Wilsonian nation building, immigration restricting, free trade loving social conservatives there are? It is the NRO conservative version of Mexicans Pot and ass sex. And sure enough in French, they found someone who exactly fits the stereotype. It is like the LP nominating a cross dressing illegal immigrant who runs a pot clinic.

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

            A guy who justifies throwing a kid across a class room by the arm of law enforcement needs to stay as far away from politics as possible.

            1. John   9 years ago

              Yes. And judging from below, he makes up for it by having a deeply dysfunctional view of his wife and women.

  27. Rich   9 years ago

    Maine cracks down on rougue midwives.

    Phrasing?

  28. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses.

    There are other majors with a more acceptable ratio of women to men if they care to switch.

  29. Idle Hands   9 years ago

    Who else is pumped!

  30. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Jonah Goldberg: Constitutionalists Need a New Political Home

    Forgotten by everyone save a few history buffs, primarily on the libertarian right and the Marxist left, the League was formed early in Franklin Roosevelt's first term by John Jakob Raskob, a former head of the Democratic party. Its leadership comprised mostly conservative small-government Democrats, including the party's two previous presidential nominees ? Al Smith, who ran in 1928 (the first major Catholic presidential candidate), and John Davis, who lost to Calvin Coolidge in 1924. It received considerable funding from some industrial titans, but it was also a legitimate grass-roots educational and political organization with more than 100,000 active members.

    ...

    Alas, the League was a boon to FDR. With the press unabashedly on his side and the Depression still raging, it was easy to demonize the League as nothing more than malefactors of great wealth bent on protecting their privilege. The punch line at a Gridiron dinner in 1934: "If anybody's in favor of saving the Constitution, it's a sure sign he's got at least a million dollars."

    FDR was less cheeky. "Give them their way and they will take the course of every autocracy of the past ? power for themselves, enslavement for the public."

    same-o same-o

    1. John   9 years ago

      I would be all for it if they were actual constitutionalists. Goldberg is a huge fan of the drug war. He has softened a little bit on pot but has not changed at all on other drugs. He wants to go back to an originalist interpretation of the Constitution, great. Where do I sign up? Of course one of the first things to go is the expansive view of the commerce clause, except Goldberg and the rest of them will suddenly find the "but drugs are different" clause.

      Beyond that, what the hell does "constitutionalist" even mean? What a retarded question begging position. Everyone in the country thinks they are a constitutionalist. I guarantee you Elena Kegan would tell you she loves the Constitution and goes to work every day to enforce it. She just doesn't agree with me or Goldberg or a lot of people on what that means. And that of course is the entire issue. The conservative fetish with "constitutionalism" is just a sign of their overall intellectual bankruptcy. They no longer have the intellectual heft or moral courage to explain and stand by a set of consistent principles. So instead they fall back on question begging buzz words like "Constitutionalist".

      1. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

        Yep. The constitution idolatry is especially idiotic. To paraphrase a forgotten liberal from long ago either the constitution authorizes our current form of government or has been powerless to prevent it, either way it is unfit for reverence.

        1. John   9 years ago

          And the people via elections get a vote on what it means. Ultimately the voters own the constitution and its meaning. The conservatives who would impose their version on an unwilling public are in many ways just as bad and unprincipled as the liberals who would impose their vision on the public.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Jesus, it just never changes, does it? I guess if it keeps working, why change?

  31. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    UnitedHealth To Exit California's Obamacare Market

    "The smaller overall market size and shorter term, higher-risk profile within this market segment continue to suggest we cannot broadly serve it on an effective and sustained basis," Hemsley said in a conference call with investors in April.

    UnitedHealth just joined the California exchange this year, and it only has about 1,200 enrollees so the immediate impact on consumers is minimal. The company didn't have any individual policyholders outside the exchange as of April 27, according to the California Department of Managed Health Care.

    Now critics of the Affordable Care Act are sure to seize on UnitedHealth's exit from a high-profile state as further evidence the health-law insurance exchanges aren't sustainable financially and that premiums will rise even higher for consumers.

    The Obama administration has countered that the number of health plans offering exchange policies has increased since the 2014 launch, and that it expects the individual market will continue to stabilize as adjustments are made.

    1. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

      Of course, under the original plan, at this point insurers would be fiercely competing through the exchanges to offer better services at lower rates, generating that $2,500/year savings that never happened.

  32. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

    Progress! We are now giving cops medals for merely tasing an unarmed suspect instead of shooting them.

    An article about how cops are being rewarded for de-escalating situations instead of just shooting anyone giving them lip. One example was a cop who tased a suspect instead of shooting him.

    "An officer going home is of paramount importance to us, but everybody should have an opportunity to go home if that presents itself," Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross said. "This is an effort to slow down situations for the sake of everybody concerned."

    Does the Philly cop shop not have a PR department who might tell Ross how bad that sounds? Or do they live in the blue bubble so deeply that they think allowing some of us peasants to go home alive is really a great thing on their part?

    1. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      It's the latter. It's pretty clear they really do believe that.

    2. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

      Another gem from that article

      The idea has met resistance from critics in law enforcement who fear officers might second-guess themselves with tragic consequences. The Los Angeles police union called the award "a terrible idea."

      "It suggests that officers must go above and beyond their normal activities to avoid harm; or put another way, that officers will be penalized for resorting to an appropriate, lawful use of force," the Los Angeles Police Protective League's Board of Directors said in a blog post in November.

      "This award will prioritize the lives of suspected criminals over the lives of LAPD officers and goes against the core foundation of an officer's training."

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        The lives of citizens should be prioritized over those of the government's enforcement agents. If they don't like it, find another fucking job. They want to be considered "heroes" for putting their lives on the line without actually having to put their lives on the line. Fuck you, assholes, you can't have it both ways.

      2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        The idea has met resistance from critics in law enforcement who fear officers might second-guess themselves with tragic consequences. The Los Angeles police union called the award "a terrible idea."

        SECOND GUESSING YOUR STUPID DECISIONS IS PRECISELY THE REASON THIS IS NECESSARY, YOU FUCKING RETARDS.

    3. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Does the Philly cop shop not have a PR department who might tell Ross how bad that sounds?

      Maybe to us. To a large segment of the population it sounds perfectly dreamy.

  33. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

    Michigan is Feelin' the Johnson!

    In a head-to-head general election match-up, presumptive Democratic nominee Clinton led presumptive Republican nominee Trump 43 percent to 38.5 percent, according to the poll released exclusively to The Detroit News and WDIV-TV. The survey of 600 likely voters found 4 percent saying they'll vote for someone else and 12 percent remaining undecided.

    When surveyed voters were offered a third choice in Libertarian Party nominee Gary Johnson, the support for both Clinton and Trump eroded.

    Johnson, a former Republican governor of New Mexico, received 11.5 percent support, while Clinton held a 4-percentage point lead over Trump, 37 percent to 33 percent.

    "It appears that right now the support (for Johnson) comes equally from both sides," said pollster Richard Czuba of the Lansing-based Glengariff Group Inc., which conducted the poll that had a margin of error of plus-minus 4 percentage points. "It's kind of that middle that's intrigued with the Libertarian option."

    Maybe Johnson will do best in states with phallic shapes. Look out, Florida!

    1. John   9 years ago

      "It appears that right now the support (for Johnson) comes equally from both sides,"

      I imagine that is the case nationwide. Whoever loses is going to try and blame Libertarians but it won't be true. It is very unlikely they will be the difference in the election however it turns out.

      1. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

        I sure hope that Johnson takes roughly equal percentages from both Trump and Clinton. Because, if it does not, the winner might have a margin of victory that a jerk like Trump or Clinton would interpret as a mandate. If the popular vote results came down 45/40/15, which would be an astonishing result for the LP, the victor would claim a mandate even though the failure to achieve a majority demonstrates the opposite. If the victor were Hillary, mainstream media would happily repeat that lie.

        The 2016 election really does offer voters a choice. There really is a difference between Trump and Clinton. They're both authoritarian jerks, but they're different kinds of authoritarian jerk with different and mutually hostile constituencies. But even with Johnson's milquetoast "socially liberal and fiscally conservative" variety of libertarianism, voters are going to elect an authoritarian jerk.

        1. Free Society   9 years ago

          If the LP pulls in 15% I guarantee that the Democrats and Republicans will change the electoral laws to see to it that third parties have an even more difficult time of getting on the ballot next election. The electoral cartel will not go quietly.

    2. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

      Michigan, for whatever reason, will vote 60% democrat in any national election. Stamp it. Our state is Florida's slow cousin who looks nice, but it always wiping the drool when you look away for a second.

      1. SugarFree   9 years ago

        Look, if you union hard enough and vote Democrat, the car companies will eventually return. Have faith, little one.

  34. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Why this is the worst month for election punditry

    Polls are not terribly predictive at this point in the election campaign? Hey, they weren't supposed to be predictive back in August for the nomination races and ? whoops ? turns out they were. Candidates weren't supposed to become the presumptive nominee by trashing sitting governors of one's own party in swing states, ignoring data analytics and spending paltry sums of money. Oops.

    It doesn't matter that political scientists are on stronger ground in predicting general elections than primary elections. It doesn't matter that Trump's tactics during a primary battle are likely to have very different effects on a polarized national electorate. And it doesn't matter that it's impossible to determine just how many idiots there are in the United States longingly discussing the opportunities for "Nazi-type change" in the country. Because there is ? and should be ? just enough doubt about expert confidence in how this election will play out. You can't blame pundits for their election punditry right now, because 2016 is suggesting that the knowledge we've gleaned from past election cycles might not be as predictive as we think it is.

    1. waffles   9 years ago

      It must be the silver lining that we finally have candidates so awful that they reveal the general awfulness of the entire political system right down to the sycophantic punditry.

  35. Rich   9 years ago

    Benadryl, Many Over-The-Counter Cold Medications Linked To Dementia

    Oops!

    Between this and cellphone brain cancer we're lucky if humankind survives into the next century.

    1. John   9 years ago

      "Linked to" is journo speak for "vague correlation without any knowledge of if there is causality".

    2. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      Is this another one of those "If you feed a rat a truckload of the stuff it develops problems" studies?

      1. tarran   9 years ago

        Worse.

        It's Green Jelly Beans Linked with Acne!

    3. Juvenile Bluster   9 years ago

      Scientists: A is correlated with B, assuming C, under D and E conditions
      Media: A causes B!

    4. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

      These studies do not prove a cause and effect.

      I take all studies like this with a big cup of salt (is this even really a study? the article doesn't provide a cite).

      Everything is being linked to everything else. It's just a cheap 'n' easy way to get published in certain fields.

      Step 1: Pick something benign.
      Step 2: Find a "statistically significant" link to something Bad (by throwing away all of the outliers).
      Step 3: Get on the news.

      1. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

        'Outliers,' of course, being any data point that doesn't fit the trend the researcher wants to see.

      2. Glide   9 years ago

        Are you doubting OFFICIAL STUDIES?

        Look, it's a known fact that spending more money on science causes more Americans to hang themselves. Just look at the graph.

    5. Zeb   9 years ago

      If I don't take benadryl my head feels like a bubble and I can't get anything done. I think I'll take the risk.

  36. John   9 years ago

    The petition says that "a year spent around a seminar table where the literary contributions of women, people of colour, and queer folk are absent actively harms all students, regardless of their identity", and that the course "creates a culture that is especially hostile to students of colour".

    These people are just profoundly stupid. In a sane world, every one of them would be expelled. Let's be honest here. They don't like white male poets and wan't queer and people of color because reading the white male poets requires some thought and knowledge beyond emoting leftist talking points and that is just too hard for them.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      These people will be unemployable. Jobs in the field are brutally competitive. My brother-in-law has a Ph.D. in English and works at the Folger Shakespeare Library. He says sometimes they'll get resumes they just laugh at from some newly minted Ph.D who thinks 1960s feminist writers are where the canon begins and ends.

      1. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

        They'll go to work for some lefty non-profit as grievance coordinators"

      2. Eternal Blue Sky   9 years ago

        To be fair, even without the SJW stuff these people are unemployable. English degrees are mostly useless.

    2. Rich   9 years ago

      reading the white male poets requires some thought and knowledge beyond emoting leftist talking points and that is just too hard for them.

      Ahem.

      And I suppose you are well-versed in the works of the *Klingon* poets?

      1. John   9 years ago

        Aren't they white?

        1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

          I don't think so:

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Dorn

          1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

            Dorn is also an accomplished pilot and owns and operates an Air Force T-33 trainer jet, one of the first jet aircraft in the US inventory; Dorn jokingly refers to it as his 'starship'.

            Baller.

    3. Rich   9 years ago

      I wonder if they'd settle for reading Rod McKuen?

    4. Zeb   9 years ago

      It's a fucking English class. If you don't want to learn the literary canon of the English language, don't be an English lit. major.

  37. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Ex-Miss Turkey found guilty of insulting Recep Tayyip Erdo?an

    The court on Tuesday found 27-year-old Merve B?y?ksara? guilty of insulting a public official. She would have to serve the sentence if she reoffends.

    B?y?ksara?, who was crowned Miss Turkey in 2006, was briefly detained for sharing a satirical poem on her Instagram account in 2014. Prosecutors deemed it to be insulting to Erdo?an, who was prime minister at the time.

    Since becoming president in 2014, Erdo?an has filed close to 2,000 defamation cases under a previously seldom-used law that prohibits insulting the president.

    1. John   9 years ago

      My God is she hot. Not just hot but epic hot, Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take that kind of hot.

      1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        If she needs a green card, I'm available. It wouldn't be fraud since one of us would be desperately in love.

      2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        The trials have deepened concerns over deteriorating freedoms in a country that was once seen as a model of Muslim democracy.

        Imagine that.

        1. tarran   9 years ago

          It's shocking that a fascist country is bad on civil liberties. Shocking, I say!

      3. tarran   9 years ago

        ... and she speaks Turkish, which is one of the most beautiful sounding languages on Earth IMHO. 😉

        1. John   9 years ago

          And likely doesn't feel guilty about sex and feels a bit of traditional responsibility to please her man in bed.

        2. Rhywun   9 years ago

          My town (Rochester NY) had so many Turks in it we all knew how to swear in Turkish by the 8th grade.

          1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

            Where are they, I didn't see any saw only one during my 8 years there.

            1. Rhywun   9 years ago

              I dunno, there were at least a dozen in my class of about 125. Maybe they came over en masse just once in the 80s. We had a lot of Vietnamese too.

              Also, I'm talking about *in* Rochester - not the suburbs. Many people who claim to live in Rochester have never actually entered it.

              1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

                Just because the location referred to as "Rochester" is actually the metro area including Webster, Chili, Greece, Henrietta...

                Okay, so I never lived within the municipal bounds of Rochester proper. But after growing up within the municipal bounds of Syracuse, I made it a point to not get stuck in a city in New York again. I even go so far as to avoid spending money within the city of Albany these days so they won't get my sales tax revenue.

                1. Rhywun   9 years ago

                  Dude, why do you even New York if you hate it so much?

      4. Lee G   9 years ago

        meh, sharp knees

      5. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        http://www.dbtechno.com/wp-con.....ksarac.jpg

        1. WTF   9 years ago

          I'll be in my bunk.

      6. robc   9 years ago

        I don't trust John on things like this, but I clicked the link.

        Today, we are in agreement. Wow.

      7. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        She will always be Miss Turkey in my heart....

      8. WTF   9 years ago

        Not fucking guilty, I don't care what she did, hot.

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Altogether now...FUCK YOU ERGODAN!

  38. Cynical Asshole   9 years ago

    Big Tomato Backs Gary Johnson

    But who are the Killer Tomatoes backing?

  39. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Chinese parking lot creates 'female only' spaces citing concerns women have trouble parking

    A number of Chinese parking lots connecting Zhejiang province to Jiangxi province in China's southeast have sparked outrage after introducing "female only" parking spaces that happen to be much larger than those not assigned to a particular gender.

    The spaces, designated by pink paint lines and the international symbol for woman, are 50 per cent wider than other spaces in the service centres. The reason ? because women are allegedly bad at parking.

    According to China's Qianjiang Evening News, Pan Zhuren, director of the service area, said he decided to include the girls-only spaces after noticing that some female drivers were having trouble reversing into parking spots, or "parking carelessly."

    1. Slammer   9 years ago

      ADD

      Asian Driving Disorder

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        Back in college I used to park my truck on this hill near an apartment complex. One day I saw an Asian woman pull out of the apartment parking lot, hit the gas too hard, plow into a car parked on the street, back up, and then proceed to side swipe three more cars as she went downhill. And she kept on going...

        it was kind of snowy out but nothing that a little caution wouldn't have overcome.

        1. WTF   9 years ago

          There are usually reasons for stereotypes. Not to go all "Irish" or anything.

        2. Free Society   9 years ago

          Actually in inclement weather conditions there are fewer accidents on the whole. More low speed accidents to be sure, but the higher speed and higher severity accidents are brought way down because people are generally more cautious.

          1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

            Climate change saves lives!

    2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      The struggle is real.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        Chivalry is not dead.

      2. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

        Watching that made me immediately sympathize with everyone around her and my blood started to boil.

        1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

          I think some women likely *do* have a problem driving in general, and it's not necessarily incompetence but anxiety about upsetting people around them.

          1. Rhywun   9 years ago

            What's the excuse for asshole men who deliberately park across the lines?

            1. Free Society   9 years ago

              They're inconsiderate assholes? I'll be the first to tell you that dudes who park their Chevy Silveraydo across several spots ought to be dismembered in the parking lot as a warning to others.

            2. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

              Gotta keep that IROC free of scratches so when I roll up to the club on Saturday, the babes will be drawn to it like moths to a flame.

    3. straffinrun   9 years ago

      the international symbol for woman...

      Caitlyn?

    4. Free Society   9 years ago

      "allegedly"

    5. Free Society   9 years ago

      "allegedly"

    6. SFC B   9 years ago

      They have them in Germany too. It's supposedly for safety (they are closer to the entry points, well lit, emergency phones present) but the spaces are also larger.

  40. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses.

    They are not large, and they do not contain multitudes.

    1. Rhywun   9 years ago

      ALL THESE POETS ARE YOURS - EXCEPT THE WHITE ONES - ATTEMPT NO READING THEREOF

  41. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    WikiLeaks Verified account
    ?@wikileaks

    Is this email the FBI's star exhibit against Hillary Clinton ("H")?
    Twitter Link

    1. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

      I'm assuming B5 isn't a reference to the R&B group.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      She still will not be held accountable. Because FYTW.

  42. Free Society   9 years ago

    "I don't hold back that I'll be voting for Donald Trump in November," Fox News host Sean Hannity said Tuesday evening.

    Is this news? Not sure it's even noteworthy. Of all the links to be had, ENB settles on this one, must have been a rough morning.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      You're not a great American.

      1. Free Society   9 years ago

        But I am a great badminton player.

    2. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Fine. Let's talk about the gorilla some more.

      1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

        They were thought to be a myth until remarkably recently.

  43. NebulousFocus   9 years ago

    The lengths to which some writers have gone to defend Gawker's behaviour casts doubt of whether the industry is capable of recognising unethical or illegal actions in its own ranks.
    ...
    In an appalling screed, Marina Hyde of The Guardian wrote that the outing of gay men was a matter of "ethical opinion," and that Valleywag ? while distasteful ? provided "much needed irreverence".

    1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

      I think outing gay public figures is probably protected because they're public figures. It's unethical, but not illegal, which is why Thiel didn't sue over that.

      The Hogan thing was clearly illegal though and Gawker then ignored a court order to take it down. The idea that someone getting sued over illegally publishing a sex tape is a serious threat to free speech is laughable. I saw people saying "What if he went after the New York Times like this?" to which the obvious answer is that the New York Times doesn't tend to publish illegal sex tapes so this isn't a template to go after anyone other than Gawker

      1. John   9 years ago

        it is laughable and pathetic. All Theil did was give the funding to people who have legitimate tort claims but didn't have the means to pursue them. Do these idiots want to get rid of things like libel and invasion of privacy? If not, do they think it is wrong to fund lawsuits allowing people who have been harmed but don't have the means to pursue their case? I seriously doubt they would be bitching if Theil had funding a bunch of tort suits against some evil corporation.

        There are cases where people who were not even public figures were hounded and humiliated by Gawker so badly that they ended up attempting suicide. Gawker is just scum. And the fact that other media outlets are so quick to defend them shows that the media as a whole is even worse than its critics claim.

      2. Rhywun   9 years ago

        If you can "prove" you're not gay, wouldn't that be libel or something? Not to mention it can damage your career - still - for certain people.

        1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

          You probably could sue over that. The people they've outed are actually gay though, like Thiel.

          Although they did claim James Franco is a gay rapist and I suspect that isn't true

          1. Rhywun   9 years ago

            OK. Suppose I'm gay but being outed ruins my career anyway. Can I sue?

    2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      Speaking of Gawker.

      1. Lee G   9 years ago

        Once again, I repeat: the author has since admitted that this was all baseless. Gawker manufactured a story that accused someone of rape?not to mention other intimate partner abuse?apparently for clicks and giggles, then delivered it over four posts spaced more than a month apart. And those links, as of this morning, were all still active.

        Looks like Bollea is going to have to share Gawker with someone else.

        1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

          It's James Franco. I don't think he's going to bother suing Gawker over something that happened 8 years ago.

          But yes, Gawker could have been sued for libel on several occasions. They also published a video of a woman having sex in a bathroom and wouldn't take it down after she claimed that the video actually showed her being raped.

          The point is that Gawker is an organization that broke the law repeatedly and eventually got crushed for their hubris. No tears for Gawker

          1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

            What is the libertarian case for libel or slander laws? I remember years ago reading Rothbard's treatise against the protection them as being unlibertarian, since reputation isn't a thing owned by a person but a sentiment belonging by many individuals, and information should be freely shared without concern for censorship.

            1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              against the protection them

            2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              belonging by to

              Ow, my reputation.

            3. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

              Reputation has a direct impact on real transactions. Even the untrue rumor of unsanitary conditions at a place of business can reduce the amount of customers it gets. And slander is a form of attack, albeit indirect. There should be no censorship of the truth, but there should be a path for redress of malicious lies.

              1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                Nobody is entitled to anyone's business, and instituting legal redress gives casual observers the impression that unchallenged assertions must be true. It puts courts in the position of parsing statements for factual content, and privileges the wealthy.

                (I'm not necessarily against the laws.)

            4. Florida Hipster   9 years ago

              If you own a business and someone spreads rumors you are an unethical business person, you have damages of lost revenue. If it's true it shouldn't be illegal. If it's not, the slander should be liable.

            5. R C Dean   9 years ago

              What is the libertarian case for libel or slander laws?

              If you wrongfully harm someone, you should pay damages?

              Honestly, this doesn't seem complicated to me.

              1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                I see complications with this stemming from the same source as IP law: we are not talking about real property but make-believe property which nonetheless has real consequences. Ownership in an idea is justified with reference to the utility or profit that comes of acting on it, and defamation laws are justified with reference to the utility or profit that comes of owning one's reputation. In both cases what's being protected isn't a tangible thing but rents, and both require compelling or restraining speech.

      2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        I assume Richard Lawson's career as a "journalist" is over, right?

  44. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

    "Compared to past research, the authors noticed that there was a similar level of assertiveness between men and women""

    It's also possible that what constitutes 'assertive' is highly subjective so if someone has a particular political ax to grind (like, for example, feminists who want to show that women are less assertive because that helps their claims about 'the patriarchy') they can easily twist the information to claim women are less assertive on facebook than men.

    1. Free Society   9 years ago

      Feminists truly wish that 1 in 4 women are raped and will assert it as the truth despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. That tells you all you need to know about mainstream feminism.

  45. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    American Death Rate Rises for First Time in a Decade

    The death rate in the United States rose last year for the first time in a decade, preliminary federal data show, a rare increase that was driven in part by more people dying from drug overdoses, suicide and Alzheimer's disease. The death rate from heart disease, long in decline, edged up slightly.

    Death rates ? measured as the number of deaths per 100,000 people ? have been declining for years, an effect of improvements in health, disease management and medical technology.

    While recent research has documented sharp rises in death rates among certain groups ? in particular less educated whites, who have been hardest hit by the prescription drug epidemic ? increases for the entire population are relatively rare.

    If only we had built that Warty containment system.

    1. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

      Another victory for Obamacare.

  46. sarcasmic   9 years ago

    'I feel sexy and free': Plus-size pole dancer hits back at fat shamers saying her body's never been better since taking up the sport

    Michelle Mesch, 27, started pole dancing to get fit in September 2015
    She began documenting her success on Instagram - despite cruel trolls
    The New Yorker was 132lb as a teen, but piled on the pounds at university

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....sport.html

    Click at your own peril. Some things can't be unseen.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Is...is it SugarFree writing type terror material?

  47. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

    This David French third party run is the best thing to happen in years. French thinking his wife would sleep with a random man she was emailing is hilarious

    "Before David left for Iraq, he and Nancy put together rules, in a painfully honest conversation about human frailty. There would be no drinking during the year of separation. Nancy would not "have phone conversations with men, or meaningful e-mail exchanges about politics or any other subject." Nor would she be on Facebook, where "the ghosts of boyfriends past" could contact her. When Nancy innocently started e-mailing about faith with a man associated with a radio show she was on, she told David about it, and he asked her to end the relationship. David knew, with his "stomach clenching," that "the most intimate conversations a person has are about life and faith" ? and that "spiritual and emotional intimacy frequently leads to physical intimacy." ""

    1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      Sounds like a fun guy.

    2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      This is why I would rather be single than faithlessly involved, because the hassle of holding that much insecurity just cannot be worth the sex.

    3. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

      Does he get to sign off so she can take a shit?

    4. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

      Before David left for Iraq, he and Nancy put together rules, in a painfully honest conversation about human frailty.

      Ok...

      Nancy would not "have phone conversations with men, or meaningful e-mail exchanges about politics or any other subject."

      Uhhhh....

      "spiritual and emotional intimacy frequently leads to physical intimacy."

      Wut.

      This isn't about their intimacy. It's about her intimacy with pretty much anyone she runs into? That is not a good sign, dude.

      1. Lee G   9 years ago

        But I bet he disapproves of burqas.

      2. Rhywun   9 years ago

        In K-Lo land, being treated like a doormat by your husband is a great thing.

    5. SugarFree   9 years ago

      If I was David French I too would be worried about my wife sleeping with someone else. She might find out that not every man is a boring bald prig with a tiny penis that looks like the tail of a cartoon pig.

      1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

        Your way with words is enviable

      2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        looks like the tail of a cartoon pig

        Duck penis?

      3. R C Dean   9 years ago

        I could see there being a certain . . . interest . . . in a corkscrew penis.

    6. John   9 years ago

      David knew, with his "stomach clenching," that "the most intimate conversations a person has are about life and faith" ? and that "spiritual and emotional intimacy frequently leads to physical intimacy." ""

      In other words David thinks his wife is a whore who thinks all emotional connection involves sex. What an asshole. His treatment of his wife borders on the sadistic. This poor woman is stuck at home with her husband overseas fighting a war and is expected to completely shun all contact with half of the human race.

      Why doesn't this guy just convert to Islam and put his wife in a burka and never let her out of the house without being escorted by a trusted male relative?

      And for the record, I hope his wife had a great time and fucked half the town while he was gone. This jackass deserved it.

      1. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

        I imagine she probably did. Trying to implement rules like these sheds a lot of light on a relationship.

        1. John   9 years ago

          It does. And a lot of light on him. French clearly has some serious issues with sex and with women in general and with trust. I bet his fellow officers couldn't stand him. The more I read about him the more I think, Frank Burns.

          1. Lee G   9 years ago

            He's from the Billy Graham school of marital relations. Graham notoriously would not get in an elevator with a woman other than his wife. French is projecting his own desires and insecurities onto his spouse.

            1. arbitrary wavefunction   9 years ago

              That's hilarious. I've had Indian women not get on an elevator I was on a few times. The first time I tried to hold the door and couldn't figure out why they weren't getting on. Now I just spam the door close button and move on with my day.

              What a fucking inconvenient way to go through life. I would just start taking the stairs up to maybe 10 stories.

      2. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

        If I slept with every woman I discussed politics with online, I'd be riddled with STDs by now.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          Geez Irish, you need to pop yourself full of pencillin before you go around schuttping women who discuss politics with you. Safety first!

          1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

            The type of women who will willingly associate with me tend to have STDs for which we don't yet have names. Anything short of cleansing fire would be insufficient

        2. Idle Hands   9 years ago

          lol Irish you'd also be gay because if catfished ever taught me anything it's always an overweight black man.

          1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

            I know for a fact Nicole is a woman, but she also eats her lovers during sex like a black widow.

            1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              Somehow that makes Scarlett Johansson even hotter.

            2. SugarFree   9 years ago

              Oh, fuck you. Her jaw unhinges like that for perfectly rational reasons that I refuse to explain ever.

      3. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Fact: His wife is Bristol Palin's ghostwriter.

        She has also helped write other horrible books about somewhat famous people and "faith."

        1. Idle Hands   9 years ago

          For the Right Reasons: America's Favorite Bachelor on Faith, Love, Marriage, and Why Nice Guys Finish Last
          by Sean Lowe and Nancy French

          That's just embarrassing.

          1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

            Plus she probably slept with Sean Lowe. Faithless woman!

        2. John   9 years ago

          That is an honest living. Of course every one of those books is as shallow as a reflecting pool. That is okay except that her and her husband no doubt consider themselves the deepest of thinkers.

          I am just so tired of people being so unworthy of the position and influence they have been given. I want so many of these people left and right to just go away.

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            It's just funny, John.

            1. John   9 years ago

              You are right. It is funny. The only thing you can do with these people is laugh at them. It is not so much that they are stupid and shallow. Hell, who is to say I am not stupid and shallow. It is that they are so pretentious. Its the pretentiousness and the constant earnestness that drives me nuts. Get the fuck over yourselves for God sakes.

              1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                Taking money from dumb people who want to make money off other dumb people is probably a good living.

        3. SugarFree   9 years ago

          Well, she is more attractive than him, but that's a low bar. (Seriously, he looks like an unshelled turtle.)

          She did manage to get into the national black women's hair "conversation" with a rather sweet post about her adopted daughter.

          1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

            She's substantially better looking than he is. No wonder he was so paranoid

            1. John   9 years ago

              She is cute. And he should be paranoid and not because of his looks. I doubt he is much of a good time in the sack or really anywhere else.

          2. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

            Also, in French's defense, he does deal admirably with racist Trump supporters on Twitter who go after him and Popehat for having adopted black kids.

          3. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            That is a very sweet post. Now I dislike David French even more.

            1. John   9 years ago

              Is it bad I really want to be pen pals with Nancy French?

            2. John   9 years ago

              I want to start writing her fan letters. Start a correspondence relationship and eventually turn her into a Trump supporter.

              1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                My new fantasy lineup for November: Clinton smashes Trump, the GOP holds Congress, red states suddenly remember federalism, and #NeverTrump smears that rancid piece of shit in the faces of his backers forever.

                1. John   9 years ago

                  Who smears whom on what?

                  1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                    Alternatively, Trump clinches it and the left starts naming buildings after John C. Calhoun.

            3. SugarFree   9 years ago

              I think I'd rage-stroke if a stranger said something shitty about my kid's hair. And I don't even have a kid. Mind your own fucking business.

          4. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

            Sorry for the triple post, but holy fuck, the comments

            "I must applaud you as someone who is 100% against trans adoption. I am still against it because I believe whites have taken too much from us, people and land, and you are held accountable for what your people did to mine. Also, because a white will NEVER be able to teach a BLACK WOman or Man how to be that. But the fact that you want her to love her Melanin, strength hair is positive for what its worth."

            Jesus fuck.

            1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              the commenter has a point. Look at how terrified that poor black girl is to be surrounded by crackers.

            2. Eman   9 years ago

              the worst part is the adopting parents usually rationalize what they're doing as "saving" kids from the horrors of a life in their homeland.

          5. Rhywun   9 years ago

            Good lord the kids looks perfectly cute with all those hair styles. WTF is wrong with people.

          6. GILMORE?   9 years ago

            A very bold black cashier at the mall asked, "Why do white people go to Africa, pick up kids, throw a headband on them, and think that's okay?"

            I took a look at my cute little baby, with her little fro and her pink bow.

            "I fixed it," I said.

            "No, that's not a style," she said. "She'll never know how to fix her hair if you don't."
            ....
            This never stopped.

            YOU AINT OWN HER WHITEY

    7. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

      So Frenchy's a supporter of Shari'a law?

      Awesome.

  48. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Goldsboro, North Carolina: Woman Finds Human Remains Inside Freezer, Police Say

    The woman who found the remains told local news outlets that she brought the freezer from her neighbor's daughter at a yard sale and believes the remains belong to the seller's mother.

    1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

      0/5 stars - seller forgot to clean out the appliance before delivery.

    2. robc   9 years ago

      Didn't she open it before buying?

      1. SugarFree   9 years ago

        There's a pre-marital sex joke in here somewhere...

    3. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      BartMeister ? 15 hours ago
      But does she still get to keep the freezer?

  49. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Plano Senior High School: Students Not Allowed to Display Honors During Graduation, Reports Say

    Students at the Texas high school said they are not allowed to wear National Honor Society regalia, signifying high grades and community service, as it might make other students feel excluded.

    1. Private Chipperbot   9 years ago

      Look. You busted your asses for four years so we can lump you in with the idiots we passed on through so we don't have to deal with them anymore. Smile and wave...

    2. The Iconoclast   9 years ago

      Why were you in school studying instead of out in the parking lot relating to all the teachers and other students?

      I... I don't smoke... Can I go now?

      Sure... Do your thing. And Benway... leave those books here.

    3. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

      Good. Maybe it will cause a few of them to rethink government-run education.

  50. Free Society   9 years ago

    Countries Must Spend to Escape 'Low-Growth Trap,' O.E.C.D. Says

    The world economy is locked in a "low-growth trap" and will expand this year at its slowest pace since the financial crisis, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development said on Wednesday, urging governments to increase spending.

    With businesses wary of investing and consumers cautious about spending, the global economy will grow only 3 percent this year, the O.E.C.D., the research and policy organization estimated in its Economic Outlook report, which it releases twice a year.

    [...]

    "We are breaking promises to young people and old people. Therefore, policy makers have to act to break us out of the low-growth trap," she said.

    With O.E.C.D. countries growing at half their estimated potential, on average, it would take 70 years to double living standards. Two decades ago, economic growth rates meant they could double living standards in half that time.

    If the government just devalues currencies, borrows against future tax receipts or simply takes more money out of the free economy and then spends that money on welfare programs, everything will get better because multipliers.

    Man, economics is superfucking easy. The formula for success is always: MOAR SPENDING GOOD. MOAR SAVINGS BAD. TAXES GOOD. PRIVATE INVESTMENT BAD. INFLATION GOOD. DEFLATION BAD.

    1. Haven "Irish" Monahan   9 years ago

      ""We are breaking promises to young people and old people.""

      Maybe you shouldn't have made those promises

      1. Free Society   9 years ago

        Irish, I promise to rob thousands of people to pay for your healthcare/ birth control/ food stamps/ education ... ad infinitum. Now if anyone tries to stop me, they're being unethical. That's the ticket...

        1. sarcasmic   9 years ago

          You're acting on altruism and compassion when you make those promises. You're looking out for the greater good. Anyone who disagrees is selfish and mean.

          1. Free Society   9 years ago

            I know I'm a good person because when I pontificate on the merits of robbing icky people and giving it to non-icky people I get a dose of endorphin in my brain confirming how good I am.

    2. Juice   9 years ago

      Also the obsession with growth (of certain numbers) is ridiculous. Just because those numbers are growing doesn't mean the economy is sound or that people are well off.

  51. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    More from Yale's poetry curriculum:

    Cloris, I cannot say your eyes
    Did my unwary heart surprise;
    Nor will I swear it was your face,
    Your shape, or any nameless grace:
    For you are so entirely fair,
    To love a part, injustice were;
    No drowning man can know which drop
    Of water his last breath did stop;
    So when the stars in heaven appear,
    And join to make the night look clear;
    The light we no one's bounty call,
    But the obliging gift of all.
    He that does lips or hands adore,
    Deserves them only, and no more;
    But I love all, and every part,
    And nothing less can ease my heart.
    Cupid, that lover, weakly strikes,
    Who can express what 'tis he likes.

    -"To Cloris," by Sir Charles Sedley

  52. Glide   9 years ago

    I assumed "Big Tomato" was a new nickname for Chris Christie.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      The Big Tomato is the sweaty, hyper-chafed area located between his second and third stomachs.

  53. lafe.long   9 years ago

    Marco Arturo: 12-Year-Old Creates Video About the Correlation Between Vaccines and Autism

    Marco, who lives in Mexico, posts science videos on his Facebook page, where he has thousands of followers. The video has been viewed over 3 million times and was shared by Ashton Kutcher.

  54. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    Meanwhile, here's what they're reading at the Yale Women's Studies Department...

    The Disappointment

    By Aphra Behn

    Ready to taste a Thousand Joys,
    Thee too transported hapless Swain,
    Found the vast Pleasure turn'd to Pain:
    Pleasure, which too much Love destroys!
    The willing Garments by he laid,
    And Heav'n all open to his view ;
    Mad to possess, himself he threw
    On the defenceless lovely Maid.
    But oh ! what envious Gods conspire
    To snatch his Pow'r, yet leave him the Desire!

  55. american socialist   9 years ago

    "Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses. "

    You see? This is what drives regular people into the arms of Donald Trump? The Orange Faced Manace is on you, liberals. Maybe if people who like poetry weren't such weirdos the Tea Party wouldn't be filled with reactionary bigots. Tsk, tsk, jack Kerouac. You're responsible for the absolute shitshow in the RP. For shame.

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      People who like poetry so much they want to decolonize it!

      Those idiots don't have the talent to scribble dirty limericks on bathroom stall doors.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Dreams are a great thing, but you know something? They take a lot of energy. But that's OK. There's a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn't require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? OK? Thank you.

  56. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Question - how do you deal with your friends uh, political beliefs?

    My best friend has lived several places and now resides in Austin. He is very, very smart, wickedly funny, went to some high-level universities before dropping out of a Neurology program, and is a strange individual too. We both grew up in the same uber-Christian conservative town and are still friends after 35 years. But he's a raging liberal - Bernie supporter and current Obama supporter.

    It makes me question his so-called intelligence.

    A more recent situation: my wife and I were hanging out with another couple, who are both college professors. They are great people - a lot of fun to dine with and talk about stuff but I make sure to never veer into politics. Well they brought it up. They were oohing and ah-ing about the time they traveled to Iowa to see Obama before he was president... and how much they would like to meet Hillary or Bernie.

    I just replied "SMOD 2016!"

    1. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

      Have less friends.

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        That seems to be the plan 🙁

      2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Have less fewer friends.

        1. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

          Grammar shaming.

        2. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

          That's one way to have less friends.

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            I try.

            1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

              You strive.

              1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

                No one like a one-upper.

                1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                  Your mom didn't mind one up her.

    2. SugarFree   9 years ago

      Congratulate them on Obama's relentless campaign of bombing brown people.

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        I was going to go there, especially with the drone child killing but decided to keep the few remaining friends I have.

        I suppose this is how people remain unchallenged about their beliefs - others afraid of calling them out on their BS.

        1. sarcasmic   9 years ago

          It's not so much that their beliefs remain unchallenged. It's more that if anyone does challenge them, they never speak to that person again. After all, politics is a moral issue. Anyone who disagrees is immoral. Why would anyone want to associate with immoral people?

          1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

            I'm afraid you are correct.

        2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          My friends think I am "right-wing," and insist upon referring to me as that. I hate them.

          This weekend my younger brother and I got into an argument about free trade and ISIS and outsourcing (his positions: do something). My first thought was to kick his ass, because he is my younger brother, but no one I am related to likes me as it is, and that would not help.

    3. sarcasmic   9 years ago

      With family I avoid talking politics or economics.

      As far as friends go, I don't have as many as I once did. It's kind of funny actually. I've lost several friends over taking about the same issue: minimum wage. All I did was explain the economics of it from the Austrian point of view, and I never heard from them again. Ever.

      So if you want to keep the friend, avoid politics and economics. If you want to never hear from them again, explain how supply and demand applies to unskilled labor.

    4. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      Smart people generally have their lives in order, and they share space with other smart people, and organizations run by smart people fare better than those run by dumb people, and because smart people are so smart they're immune to bad ideas, and therefore all that utopia requires is putting similarly smart people into commanding positions where the will of dumb rubes can be quashed.

      1. Free Society   9 years ago

        Smart people are social creatures like almost everyone else. The path of least resistance to fit in and get along is often to agree with dumb people on dumb positions, or at least remain silent. It's not whether or not a person is smart, it's whether or not they're smart and care enough for principles to risk not fitting in with retards that surround us. Hell, I find myself biting my tongue when my clients are in my office talking up the minimum wage or praising the drug war and law enforcement because it's a hell of a lot easier to maintain my client base and get my job done and get them the fuck out of my office if I ignore it.

    5. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      By the way, I've invited my best friend over to H-n-R but he's never taken up the challenge.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        He probably lurked for a while and then fled screaming.

        1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

          He read an SF post and immediately unfriended LH.

          1. SugarFree   9 years ago

            Everyone blames me. It's like you are all my mother.

            1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

              Some of us consider you to be our commenting mother.

              1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

                Nikki is our commenting mother. SF is the uncle we'd rather not talk about.

                1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

                  We all suckle from SugarFree's voluptuous literary teat.

                  1. SugarFree   9 years ago

                    Slammer refuses to latch.

              2. Slammer   9 years ago

                commenting Motherfucker

    6. Free Society   9 years ago

      For the most part, my friends are libertarians and small government conservatives. The only leftoids in my social circles are usually apolitical and give very little thought to politics or economics, which means that on the rare occasion that it comes time to stake a political position on an issue, they default to the leftist position because those positions require no insight, no nuance, no critical thinking and are designed to seem reasonable to the most unreasonable people. That's the attractive power of the left, it enables cognitive dissonance and ignorance like no other.

      Their mindset is basically this, "I support people making more money, therefore I support the minimum wage. Man economics and politics are fucking easy. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to the Kardashians."

      1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        Any organization voter not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.

    7. GILMORE?   9 years ago

      Its a struggle.

      I stopped fwding them all articles w/ commentary around 10 years ago. That was back when i thought "all it takes is a little perspective to open people's eyes".

      Then my best friend said, "I don't care if there are other facts. I like the ones i already have". more or less.

    8. Zeb   9 years ago

      I have a few friends who I will just straight out tell what I think. But for the most part, I try to avoid politics and economics or make a joke of anything people bring up. When I can't avoid it (like if people just ask what I think) I try to frame it in a way that will most appeal to them. I've had a few people at least agree that what I'm saying make sense.

    9. R C Dean   9 years ago

      Question - how do you deal with your friends uh, political beliefs?

      This is actually a really hard question.

      The best I can do is let them know, in very general terms, that I am a libertarian at heart, and am very disillusioned with politics these days, so that I would prefer not to discuss it as I think current politics are very divisive and I wouldn't want that to interfere with being friends.

      If they still can't keep their yaps shut on politics, then you probably can't be friends.

    10. Eman   9 years ago

      maybe you're the one who's wrong

  57. Ken Shultz   9 years ago

    "Yale University students are fighting to "decolonize" their poetry courses."

    So their complaint isn't about the quality of the poetry. They're upset that quality poetry was written by whites?

    Serves leftist liberal arts professors right. Thought you could embrace critical race theory and still teach the Romantics? Teach what you love to the monsters you've created?

    Pffffffffffft!

  58. VG Zaytsev   9 years ago

    Just saw a fluff interview of Weld on MSNBC.

    Holy shit! Such a dufus.

    1. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

      It was really, really bad. Evidently Weld's alignment with libertarianism is pretty much limited to his distaste of laws that prohibit vice and enforce morals. He's openly dismissive of libertarians who advocate non-intervention, foreign aid, and freedom of association.

      Still, he's light-years closer to the libertarian frontier than either Trump or Hillary.

  59. Jerryskids   9 years ago

    "I don't hold back that I'll be voting for Donald Trump in November," Fox News host Sean Hannity said Tuesday evening.

    Funny that a guy who openly supported and voted for Dole and Bush and McCain and Romney feels right at home with Trump. Almost as if he's an unprincipled gasbag sucking up to whoever's holding the whip. Hannity, if you'd take your fat head out of your ass one time and take a good look in the mirror maybe you'd realize that you're the exact reason so many people are cheering Trump's pissing all over the GOP. Now wipe off your chin there, boy, you got a little of the Trump dribbling out the corner of your mouth.

  60. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

    Follow-up to those Restoration poets I quoted: Lord John Wilmot died at the ripe old age of 33 from the effects of too much drinking and lovemaking.

    Sir Charles Sedley had a sadder fate, spending the last years of his life as a member of Parliament.

    And let that be a lesson to everyone.

    1. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      (the voters overlooked Sedley's daughter having been the mistress of James II)

    2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

      Sedley also contributed to the development of the common law, as described in a footnote here.

      1. Free Society   9 years ago

        So am I reading this correctly that he established a precedent for prosecuting people who stand naked on their balcony tossing bottles of piss down into a crowd?

        1. R C Dean   9 years ago

          *wistfully recalls frat bro days*

        2. Notorious UGCC   9 years ago

          Sedley's case is sometimes cited as precedent for obscenity being a common-law crime. Previously, the church courts and the Star Chamber court had handled it, and the Star Chamber court had been abolished.

          So this case, according to certain interpretations, retained obscenity as a secular crime.

  61. Eman   9 years ago

    how the fuck does anyone not see specifically not reading books by white men as a) dumb education policy, and b) the literal (and I mean that literally) definition of sexist and racist? What the actual fuck.

  62. Robert   9 years ago

    Reads like Jimmy Carter thinks commerce or work for hire should be illegal, because once anything's for sale, it's as good as stolen, and work for pay is slavery.

  63. MollieRose   9 years ago

    My Best friend makes $96/hour on the internet. She has been laid off for six months but last month her paycheck was $12800 just working on the internet for a few hours. you have nothing to lose...
    Read more on this web site..
    Go to tech tab for work detail.-------------------- http://www.earnmore9.com

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