Johnson-Weld Officially Libertarian Nominees, Trump Calls Bill Kristol a 'Loser' Who Just Wants to Start Wars and Kill People, Iraqi Forces Launching Operation to Capture Fallujah: A.M. Links

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  • Reason TV

    Gary Johnson and William Weld were selected on the second ballots as the Libertarian party's nominees for president and vice president, respectively.

  • Bill Kristol teased the announcement of a third party candidate this weekend; Donald Trump slammed him, calling him a "loser" who was only interested in going to war and killing people.
  • Bernie Sanders called the Democratic primary process "really dumb."
  • Iraqi forces are launching an operation to retake Fallujah.
  • A gorilla was shot and killed after a four-year-old apparently jumped into the enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo.
  • A seven-year-old boy in Japan is missing after his parents left him in the woods as punishment.

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  1. Hello.

    1. Congrats!

      1. For?

        My prosciutto and melon risotto?

        It was actually delicious.

        Thanks.

        1. I think he means for beating FoE?

          1. /throws (Canadian) quarter at Nots to buy an ‘iSarc”.

            1. Pshaw, a Canadian quarter couldn’t even buy a fart. And I’m not even talking about a real, manly, fart, but one of those little little ass-burps.

              1. I’ve never seen the value of our currency so well described. Here, have a loonie.

          2. You don’t win unless it’s a legitimate comment on one of the stories.

        2. Risotto for breakfast?

          1. prosciutto and melon to boot – blech

  2. “A gorilla was shot and killed after a four-year-old apparently jumped into the enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo.”

    Stupid humans.

    1. My dad watches NASCAR. It was repulsive the amount of military fellating they were doing. I was surprised they could even do a pre-race prayer considering how far down their throats they had that military cock.

      1. The GT race in Canada didn’t have any of that.

        1. Yes, but being polite Canadian racers they obey the speed limit, use turn indicators and refuse to cut each other off. It’s not very exciting.

    2. You know who else complained about news organizations being unpatriotic?

      1. any politican, ever, who faces criticism?

      2. Madonna?

      3. Hugo Chavez?

  3. Gary Johnson and William Weld were selected on the second ballots as the Libertarian party’s nominees for president and vice president, respectively.

    I refuse to vote for anyone compromised enough to want to be president.

    1. Amen. This ticket is the anti-free-speech, anti-religion, anti-free-association ticket.

      Nominating Weld is like a middle finger to conservatives, and all people who care about free speech and freedom of association and curbing government red tape. Weld will help ensure that any Johnson appointees to the Supreme Court are anti-free-speech zealots who support campus speech codes.

      Weld ran to the Left of his 1990 Democratic rival for governor on Social Justice Warrior issues, and his appointees to the state judiciary included people who had supported campus speech codes. Weld’s appointees to the MCAD demanded that people be fired by private employers for offensive racial jokes.

      Weld supported new red tape, like the Big Green initiative that his 1990 Democratic opponent, John Silber, found too extreme, and which was rejected as too extreme by Massachusetts voters.

      If you want someone who will force a wedding photographer to photograph a gay commitment ceremony under the ludicrous fiction that a wedding photographer with no fixed place of business is a “public accommodation” (as happened in New Mexico, with Johnson’s judges voting along with Democrats), Weld is your man. Weld is also an outspoken supporter of race-based affirmative action.

      Weld worked for and praises as a model former Senator Jack Javitz of New York, one of the most progressive and pro-big-government members of the U.S. Senate, who lost reelection in 1980 running on the liberal party line.

      1. Well, it’s not like they are going to win.

        1. Still. Strange choice.

        2. This is precisely why I will vote for Johnson/Weld even though I don’t think they are a very good option for those that support liberty. Since the Wielding a Johnson ticket will NOT win, the goal is to simply rack up enough votes to get the LP familiar to voters, media, etc. Essentially, get the LP on more even footing with the RP and DP. That is the best outcome we can hope for in this election… to build up recognition and acceptance for the LP for future elections.

          Look, the LP has/had no chance of winning the next presidential election regardless of who is on the ticket. Thus, J/W could be a very good strategic choice (with more mainstream views) to get a more liberty-minded candidate elected (through a more familiar) LP maybe 4, 8, or 12 years from now.

          1. The LP has a good chance to win. People just need to believe it. Once Johnson hits 15 percent in the polls, they will start to.

      2. You might know that Tom Finneran, former speaker of the Massachusetts House, correctly pointed out that Weld was as big a spender as his predecessor – Mike Dukakis.

        Some years after he resigned as governor, Weld was a guest on the late David Brudnoy’s WBZ nighttime talk show. Weld claimed that he brought a “certain libertarian approach” to the corner office. Yours truly, who Brudnoy called a “truculent libertarian”, utterly eviscerated that orange haired Brahmin.

        1. This is true. Yet both Dukakis and Weld falsely claimed to be thrifty (Weld was only thrifty in his first couple years in office, after which he wasted plenty of money, and Dukakis was a big spender by nature). They were aided by the fact that Massachusetts’ population grows much more slowly than most states, meaning that it has less need for additional spending than most states (less need for new roads, schools, etc.). Thus, even a money-waster like Dukakis (or Weld in his second term) doesn’t look as bad as a similarly money-wasting governor in a state with a rapidly growing population (like, say, Texas). This gives Massachusetts governors an unfair advantage on stupid think-tank report cards for state governors. And given all the new red tape that Dukakis (and to a lesser extent Weld) dumped on Massachusetts, it’s not surprising that the state’s economy (and population) didn’t grow that much.

      3. You can always vote for Trump-Clinton if you prefer.

  4. A seven-year-old boy in Japan is missing after his parents left him in the woods as punishment.

    Someone call me an Uber?

    1. OK, you’re an Uber.

        1. I’m sure the Marx Brothers did it first, but I can’t find an appropriate clip on Youtube.

      1. Shirley you can’t be serious?

  5. Bill Kristol teased the announcement of a third party candidate this weekend…

    Well, fourth party candidate.

    1. Fifth, Darrell Castle was already nominated by the Constitution Party.

    2. Running on the Spanish Inquisition ticket?

      1. That was unexpected …

  6. Bernie Sanders called the Democratic primary process “really dumb.”

    Good thing he’s not a Democrat then, I guess.

    1. If you’re going to make trenchant comments about how the process is really dumb, you should make it on Twitter about 50 times a day. “Unfair”, “not fair”, “bad”, “not good”, “lying”, “crooked”, “loser”, “stupid”, “not smart”, “wrong”, “smelly”, “vomit”, and “erectile disfunction” should be used as frequently as possible as well. Just hire a couple of eighth-graders to go through Google news and find any news items on Hillary, the DNC, banks, Wall Street, the economy, etc. and take the headline, add a random insult and send it out as a tweet. People seem to love that shit for some reason and the media seems to think it’s newsworthy.

  7. Iraqi forces are launching an operation to retake Fallujah.

    But do they have a plan to make it great again?

    1. Now that is high quality snark.

    2. I giggled

    3. Their sociopaths are better than the current sociopaths.

  8. A gorilla was shot and killed after a four-year-old apparently jumped into the enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo.

    I don’t care for the passive voice but I do like that the lad went in armed.

    1. Gorillas were shot; pigs went home to their families.

    2. The lad? Four-year old gorillas aren’t fully grown adults but even as juveniles they possess the proportional strength of a non-enraged retarded orangutan or an enraged non-retarded orangutan. If a four-year old gorilla jumps on you, you damn well better shoot it.

  9. A seven-year-old boy in Japan is missing after his parents left him in the woods as punishment.

    Ironically he was being punished for being too clingy.

    1. No helicopter parenting in Japan. That’s why next time, they’ll win.

        1. They must have not read that.

      1. They won’t win anything unless they start having children again.

  10. What’s this about a gorilla? I hadn’t heard

    1. Hillary? I think she’s been well covered.

      1. +size 12 pantsuits

  11. A gorilla was shot and killed after a four-year-old apparently jumped into the enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo.

    And the denizens of the internet threw back their heads and howled that the mother and child ought to have been shot to save the gorilla.

    1. I guess they could’ve thrown bananas at the gorilla.

      1. +1 Eastern European football fan.

        1. Or Spanish.

            1. ??? No idea what you guys are going on about.
              *Goes back to flicking Doritos at his Chihuahua*

    2. Why’d you open your bong hole, you smelly hippie? You’d sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately-attractive monkey? You must’ve smoked some bad granola.

        1. You’re probably too young and intelligent for Futurama.

          1. Nobody is too young for Futurama!

      1. Whoa, I think there was something funny in that hippie.

        1. My hands,there huge!

          1. And they can touch anything but themselves!

            1. They call them fingers, but I’ve never seen them fing.

              …oh, there they go.

    3. I lean more towards the zoo needing to better child-proof their exhibits. Still feel bad for the gorilla, though. It’s not like he did anything wrong.

      1. He was behind bars for something.

        1. They found his server in the mist?

        2. Resisting, probably

      2. Yup. It is the zoo’s fault, 100%. They clearly did not conduct proper diligence on whether a small human could find his/her way into an enclosure of a dangerous animal.

        Blaming the parent is idiotic. It’s quite clear people blaming the parent don’t have kids of their own; not only is it completely impossible to watch them 100% of the time… you don’t WANT to watch out for them 100% of the time otherwise they might turn into entitled Bernie supporters.

    4. It’s funny. I’ve been reading the slate article on this. Dozens of posters are talking about how the parent should have had their kid on a leash. All I can think about is how a couple years ago the same busy body internet back-seat parenters were bitching about how inhumane it was to put young children on leashes.

      That all said. I feel really terrible for the mother. She looked away for a minute to deal with her older children and the four year old took off and wiggled his way into the enclosure. God I hope she manages to stay anonymous. She’s going to have nightmares about this for years to come already. Last thing that family needs is all the self-righteous pricks on the internet getting their righteousness on by harassing them.

      1. Exactly. Anybody who’s had kids has had them disappear on you if you turn your back for a second. It’s just that usually when you fund them, they’re trying to pick up ants off the ground or something fairly harmless.

  12. Drowned Baby Picture Captures Week of Tragedy in Mediterranean

    A photograph of a drowned migrant baby in the arms of a German rescuer was distributed on Monday by a humanitarian organization aiming to persuade European authorities to ensure safe passage to migrants, after hundreds are feared to have drowned in the Mediterranean last week.

    That’s gonna be all over. Warning: has the picture.

    1. Merkel: Well, tickle my hammer toe! That does it! LET ‘EM ALL IN! And tell our allies if they don’t follow us we still have a few Panzers and woodchippers that need usin’.

      1. Of course, the refugees will be housed well away from where the political classes live.

        1. I think we’ve moved past that point. Merkel seems to be the type of true believer who invites these folks into her home and then is shocked to find out that they don’t subscribe to German culture.

          1. Here’s an interesting theory.

            Ms. Merkel seemed to hope in 2015 that an extravagant act of virtue signaling by taking in refugees would disarm London’s traditional anti-hegemon immune systems, allowing Germany to rule Europe under the guise of being pro-diversity […]

      2. It’s OK, Rufus, it’s not like they’re Canadian.

    2. For the sake of balanced reporting:

      http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm…..g-Rips.jpg

      1. A baby shot a bunch of people? Hardcore.

        1. Babies have killed more Americans than terrorists have for five years running..

          1. This is why abortion can only be looked at as self-defense.

        2. A baby shot a bunch of people? Hardcore.

          Believe it or not, that was the plot of the latest issue of Justice League.

        3. They’re Evil MOOOOZLIM Babies!!!111 You can’t take your eye off of them!!1@#!!!1!!

  13. “Just a heads up over this holiday weekend: There will be an independent candidate–an impressive one, with a strong team and a real chance.”

    This is rich, coming from Kristol. The powers that be — back when an actual Trump win was remote and the big fear was that HE was going to run 3rd Party — asked all the candidates to sign a pledge to support the eventual nominee. Some of those reneged on their pledges. And now Kristol is pushing an “independent” candidate who, without being on the ballot in enough states, would only serve to pull votes from Trump and ensure a Hillary win. Neo-cons just keep neo-conning, I guess.

    1. There is a big neocons for Hillary movement.

      1. Neo-cons never disappoint.

        But PJ O’Rourke disappointed when he revealed that he is a faux libertarian neo-con.

        1. That was indeed disappointing.* He took the “lesser of two evils” to the next step and showed that if we ever have the choice between a Hitler and a Mussolini, the voters will NOT stay home.

          * tho’ my first big disappointment with him was his support for the Iraq war

          1. Earlier this year O’Rourke made the Cato city circuit with a canned speech that poked fun at the absurd ridiculousness of the 2016 Republican and Democratic campaigns. It was amusing and got a few laughs. During the Q&A afterwards, somebody in the Dallas crowd asked what he thought about Gary Johnson. O’Rourke at first didn’t know, or at least feigned not to know, who Gary Johnson is, and asked the questioner to repeat his question. Then he replied along the lines of “Oh, him. He’s the ex-governor of Oklahoma who ran on the Libertarian ticket. Meh … Next question…”

            Very disappointing, but not as disappointing as an endorsement of Clinton.

      2. There was actually an interesting point in a Politico Magazine article this weekend regarding the LP ticket seems built to spoil that “Republicans for Hillary” angle:

        Take, for example, former Massachusetts Republican Governor Bill Weld, whose history with Clinton goes back decades. Weld is exactly the type of GOP moderate Clinton has reportedly been wooing as Trump edged closer to the nomination. He endorsed Obama in 2008. He compares Trump’s rhetoric to Nazism. And there are plenty of Republicans like him this year, particularly in the Northeast. Not too many years ago, you could imagine considerable appeal for Clinton among Weld-ian Republicans. But thanks to her primary run, a combination of issues?Sanders pushing her left on economic issues, her unsatisfactory answers on the email scandal?has made that a tougher sell. And now, instead of endorsing Clinton, Weld has agreed to join Gary Johnson on a potential Libertarian Party ticket, which suddenly looks like a very friendly home for old-fashioned country-club Republicans. It’s not a stretch to imagine Weld’s friend and fellow former Massachusetts Republican Governor Romney, who is clearly disgusted with Trump, could endorse Johnson-Weld. Disgruntled Republican funders loath to back Trump?another demographic being wooed by Clinton?could follow.

        1. I think the urge to support the team will keep most of them on the elephant ranch.

      3. Max Boot is crying in his slippers over the bad luck Hillary has run up against.

    2. Neo-cons are as or more dangerous then Islamist .

      1. If it bleeds, we can kill it.

      2. Yeah, no.

  14. A gorilla was shot and killed after a four-year-old apparently jumped into the enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo.

    The gorilla was black, it should be noted. They wouldn’t have shot a white gorilla.

      1. They can only be shot in the front. Sort of like HM.

        1. Full frontal is in my contract’s rider.

  15. Also, Yahoo News has Johnson’s nomination in the “Entertainment” section. I think they’re trying to tell us something.

    1. That Yahoo news is the same giant joke that it was a decade ago and there’s absolutely no reason to read it?

      1. Hey, they’ve got a nationally recognized, heavy hitting anchor in Katy Couric…

      1. I prefer nachos and Netflix.

    2. Maybe that’s an optimistic sign for Johnson……….that’s where Huff Post had Trump, after all.

  16. Anyone else think it strange that Google, just a few weeks ago, made a doodle honoring Marxist nut Yuri Kochiyama but didn’t make one for Memorial Day?

    In addition to expressing admiration for Osama bin Laden in 2003, she was also an unwavering supporter of the Maoist Peruvian guerrilla group Shining Path, which killed over 30,000 civilians.

    1. Google is all about exalting black supremacist Marxist, but ignores a major national holiday to honor the fallen in a world war? This is Hamster’s shocked face.

        1. Is ALL of google really that far gone? Or is their doodle department just especially deranged?

          Maybe its time to switch to DuckDuckGo.

          1. I’m sure that whichever Google person came up with that idea, received college instruction emphasizing Kochiyama’s civil rights cred while ignoring her other activities.

          2. Google makes a conscious attempt to seem international and not too “American.”

            1. Given the efforts they make to be evil, you’d think they’d be able to serve up content relevant to local audiences.

              It wouldn’t benefit me, because my VPN connection would serve up a random menu of Leif Erikkson, Ned Kelly, Godzilla, Papa Maoi and probably Simo H?yh? on some days, but I know some people are sensitive to the insincere pandering of companies like Google.

    2. Sheldon Richman fails to see a difference

      1. Paton was just like Adam what’s his name.

      2. Israel = Adam Lanza and vicey-versey.

    3. There is a “doodle”, an American flag with a yellow ribbon under the search buttons.

      If you prefer something more ostentatious…

    4. “didn’t make one for Memorial Day?”

      They have a small flag over which a yellow ribbon is superimposed. Did you want them to go all out and have a really large picture of some soldiers, or a military hero, or something? They did the minimum, stop your bitching.

      /sarc

      1. As far as promoting that commie, Hoochiemama or whatever her name is, I bet Lenin is kicking himself that he *didn’t* say the capitalists will furnish the rope for their own hanging, because there’s so much evidence for that proposition.

  17. OT: Another success story of central planning and stimulus.

    Hundreds of hills on the dry, sandy Loess Plateau were flattened by bulldozers to create the 315-square-mile city. But today, cranes stand idle in planned industrial parks while newly built residential blocks loom empty. Streets are mostly deserted. Life-size replicas of the Parthenon and the Sphinx sit surrounded by wasteland, monuments to profligacy.

    * * *

    It now takes 4 yuan of debt to generate 1 yuan of economic growth, up from 1 to 1 at the time of the financial crisis.

    Multiplier!

    1. Huh, well this fixes the Chinese owning our debt problem. Further in debt they go, the more risk they’ll try to cash in ours, but also the less power they have to actually back up an attempt to do so. Some desperate government down the road will probably try to pad the budget with a demand for payment, and we’ll just laugh in their faces and tell them to go fuck themselves.

      1. What about all the Americans that hold US debt? Oh wait, I see you’ve answered that too.

        1. Unfortunately, in such a situation, Americans We can’t declare war as easily as the Huaren.

      2. Yes. The low estimate on bad Chinese government issued debt is approximately equal to the amount of US debt they hold. The high estimate is about 10x that. They will have to burn all those T-bills to keep the yuan stable. But, then the Japanese fell for the same trick. When I started see articles on Chinese princesses with Ferraris, I knew that we were once again going to sell them stuff at ridiculous prices and buy back any worthwhile parts at a bargain.

    2. .25 is still a multiplier…..

  18. “Donald Trump slammed him, calling him a “loser” who was only interested in going to war and killing people.”

    Kristol is also good at being wrong about everything.

    1. It’s true, along with his little buddy Krauthammer. Probably the smartest thing I’ve heard Trump say.

  19. Army Chaplain Resigns Over “Unaccountable Killing” with Drones

    On April 12, Antal resigned his commission as an officer in the Army because of his conscientious objection to the United States’ drone policy. In a letter addressed to Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama, Antal wrote, “The executive branch continues to claim the right to kill anyone, anywhere on Earth, at any time, for secret reasons, based on secret evidence, in a secret process, undertaken by unidentified officials. I refuse to support this policy of unaccountable killing.” In doing so, he joined other previous members of the armed forces who have addressed Obama to criticize his drone strike policy, including four former members of the Air Force who penned a letter in November of 2015 warning the president that the strikes “served as a recruitment tool similar to Guantanamo Bay.”

    The White House has defended the use of force in certain situations. “Since his first day in office, President Obama has been clear that the United States will use all available tools of national power to protect the American people from the terrorist threat posed by al-Qa’ida and its associated forces,” reads a 2013 fact sheet on policies and procedures for counter-terrorism operations outside the U.S. and areas of active hostilities.

    1. “On April 12, Antal resigned his commission”

      As the screen door was slapping his ass, did this Christian man happen to reference where in the Bible he finds his “correct procedure for killing people”?

        1. Yeah, Romans 13 basically tells the chaplain to STFU and do what the Prez tells him to do.

          1. Well, of course. This is why the Judeo-Christian tradition is the sole font from which liberty flows.

            Or so I have been told.

        2. Funny that most don’t take that as literally as the anti-gay passages.

          Cafeteria Christians.

          1. Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

            6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

            Want to have some fun on Facebook? Post that but replace the word “God” with “Allah” and cite it from the Koran.

            1. Contrast that with the tribute episode.

              If Christ had intended his followers to submit to Caesar and pay him tribute, why didn’t he simply respond “yes” to the question, posed by the perfidious Pharisees, “is it lawful to pay tribute to Caesar?”

              Too many Christians are too fucking ignorant of the following:

              (1) the historical setting at the time Jesus was asked the question. There were all sorts of tax revolts taking place in lands under Roman control.

              (2) Tiberius Caesar was a pedophile, a sexual deviant, a murderer, and a man who had oppressed and enslaved multitudes.

              (3) Tiberius Caesar claimed to be a god and the prince of peace.

              (4) the rhetorical structure of the tribute episode.

              (5) the coin in question, a denarius. Its circulation was probably scarce and was used by Roman officials soldiers, and Jewish leaders in collaboration with the Romans. Notably, Jesus did not possess the coin, but the scumbag Pharisees had one readily available.

              (6) The tribute episode took place in the Temple – and the questioners revealed their religious hypocrisy by producing a profane item in the sacred space of the Temple.

              (7) The coin bore the image of Tiberius.

              (8) The inscription stated: “TI CAESAR DIVI AUG F AUGUSTUS” which stands for “Tiberius Caesar Divi August Fili Augustus”. Translation: Tiberius Caesar, Worshipful Son of the God Augustus.

              Yeah, Jesus was saying bow down and pay your taxes.

      1. I thought it was the smite them hip and thigh part.

      2. Why would he need to reference the bible when the Constitution and the Geneva Convention are more applicable?

  20. “Bernie Sanders called the Democratic primary process “really dumb.””

    It’s a reflection of progressive political philosophy–which is all about imposing itself on the people against their will.

    1. “It’s not coercion, it’s democracy!”

  21. Eric Holder: Snowden performed a “public service”

    Former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder says Edward Snowden performed a “public service” by triggering a debate over surveillance techniques, but still must pay a penalty for illegally leaking a trove of classified intelligence documents.

    “We can certainly argue about the way in which Snowden did what he did, but I think that he actually performed a public service by raising the debate that we engaged in and by the changes that we made,” Holder told David Axelrod on “The Axe Files”.

    “Now I would say that doing what he did — and the way he did it — was inappropriate and illegal,” Holder added.
    Holder said Snowden jeopardized America’s security interests by leaking classified information while working as a contractor for the National Security Agency in 2013.

    “He harmed American interests,” said Holder, who was at the helm of the Justice Department when Snowden leaked U.S. surveillance secrets. “I know there are ways in which certain of our agents were put at risk, relationships with other countries were harmed, our ability to keep the American people safe was compromised. There were all kinds of re-dos that had to be put in place as a result of what he did, and while those things were being done we were blind in certain really critical areas. So what he did was not without consequence.”

    1. They always say these things after they leave public office.

      1. If he’s gone libertarian, then he should have been Gary Johnson’s VP instead of Weld.

        …wait for it…

        Johnson/Holder

        1. Man, I’m glad I’d finished drinking coffee before I read that.

  22. Boy was he shocked to find out that he’d been replaced by a Toyota pick up.

    The tank was in the lake at a depth of 12 meters with 6 meters of peat and silt above it. Over a two week period, divers from the local diving club washed away silt above the tank. After it was pulled from the bog and on dry land again the ammunition, 116 pieces in total, was removed from the tank and it was taken to the war museum in the nearby village of Gorodenko. There it was possible to start the diesel engine without installing any spare parts!

  23. So, it appears I will once again live in the land of Florida Man. Got a job in Tampa that is mostly work from home and found a place in the St. Pete area where we can walk to the beach. My search for an IT job has convinced me that CRM is going to be the hot thing for at least five more years. If you know MS CRM or SalesForce, people will hunt you down to throw money at you. I expect that come July, I’ll be around a lot more. If I don’t get run down by an old person, life will be good.

    1. We spent a week in Sarasota once and had a good time. Had dinner one night at the fishing pier on Anna Bell .I do prefer Nags Head though in the fall.No crowds and Awful Arthur’s and the Black Pelican .

      1. Nags Head, fail. Don’t be afraid, catch that ferry to ocracoke.

    2. My sister did SalesForce for awhile. It seemed kinda just like a database…. With stuff in it. Is there something I’m missing?

      1. No. That’s basically CRM. A database with business rules that allow your various customer facing departments to record interaction with a customer. Seeing a lot of it in Healthcare and the Cook County Jail uses a heavily modified version for inmate population management.

        1. A database with business rules that allow your various customer facing departments to record interaction with a customer.

          I feel sleepy just from reading that sentence.

          1. Imagine my delight at starting five days of online training next week. I need some Adderall.

      2. The frustrating thing about it is that while it *is* a database, you can fall into the trap of thinking that it can do ‘everything’ an enterprise-type database can do.

        To avoid a tl;dr; moment, there are things you’d expect SF to be able to do which are very difficult to implement in practice. DAMHIKT.

    3. Congrstulations! I’ve been to the Sarasota area. I think it is nice.

  24. What I have learned in 5 months as a parent:

    Yertle the Turtle and Atlas Shrugged have the exact same plot.

    1. Who is Yertle the Turtle?

      1. Its a Dr Seuss book. Short story even.

        1. I’ll try this again. Who is Dr. Suess?

          1. A problematic white male who drew racist cartoons against those who identify as being of Asian descent during an imperialist American war against minority cultures.

            1. He also fat-shamed in One Fish, Two Fish.

            2. Does he go live in an valley which can’t be penetrated by anyone other than Pappy Boyington?

            3. But it was OK because some of his books had a very green message.

        2. Opening line of Atlas Shrugged, robc. Having fun.

          1. Got it, knew I was missing some sarc.

    2. Atlas Shrugged had a plot? Oh. A friend’s five year old pulled that book off the shelf and asked to have it read to him. I think he went about 10 nights before changing his mind.

  25. Crocodile snatches woman in Australia

    A crocodile in Australia snatched a woman taking a late-night swim in a national park and is believed to have killed her, media reported on Monday.

    The 46-year-old woman was swimming with a friend late on Sunday in waist-deep water at a beach in Queensland state when she disappeared, police said.

    “They felt a nudge, and a large crocodile is alleged to have grabbed one of the ladies and pulled her into the water,” Neil Noble, a supervisor for the Queensland state ambulance service, told reporters.

    Police would only say the woman was believed to have been taken by a crocodile. Media reported that the friend struggled to pull the woman back from the crocodile’s jaws.

    Police did not identify the woman or give her nationality but said she lives in Australia and has family in New Zealand.

    A police spokesman told Reuters a search and rescue operation would continue on Tuesday.

    Warren Entsch, the area’s member of parliament, said the incident occurred in a place that is popular with crocodile-spotting tours, with many warning signs.

    Crikey!

    1. Fucken dumb Shelia,always carry a knife.

    2. Entsch had more to say about the women’s behavior:

      Enstch said the two tourists had to have seen plentiful crocodile warning signs in the region. “If you go in swimming at 10 o’clock at night, you’re going to get consumed,” he said.

    3. 46 years-old is a ripe old age for a crocodile dipper.

      1. Croc swallows cougar?

    4. Grab it’s leg!

    5. That happens all the time.

      Bring a flashlight, check for night shine. Problem solved.

    6. “Alleged”. God forbid we defame a crocodile…

    1. I love vagina bones. Like a lot. I don’t play video games though.

      1. I like those KFC boneless vaginas.

    1. Also in news on English health care…mum gives birth, then has both legs amputated after doctors forgot to check on her.

      It’s complicated but that was the end result.

      1. They probably forgot to use the machine that goes “ping”.

      2. But at least it was “free”.

      3. 8 kids? Surely all on the dole.

      4. Six C-Sections?

        Holy jeebus, she must be all scar tissue down there.

  26. “A seven-year-old boy in Japan is missing after his parents left him in the woods as punishment.”

    I pray he’s safe, but what does it say about me that my first reaction on seeing this story was to post a comment like this:

    Well, have the police done a search of the local witch-inhabited gingerbread houses?

      1. Fan of Yokai Watch? I’m more of a GeGeGe no Kitaro man myself.

        1. Actually, neither my kid nor I can stand Yokai Watch. It takes the worst elements of Doraemon and Pokemon and combines them together.

            1. Why hasn’t Kaori Kobayashi done a cover of that song yet?

              1. Would. Maybe we can get Nick and Matt to cover this.. Have to get the pick to work on Matt’s hair, though.

                1. Why not get the whole crew involved?

                  https://youtu.be/SnQSKTpyPKk

  27. Can Libertarian Gary Johnson Attract Conservative LGBT Voters?

    Content warning #1: The Advocrap

    Content warning #2: Munitions-grade derp in the comments

    1. Serves Johnson right. He’s do down with the cause he sells out the principles of the “Party of Principle,” then the people he’s supposedly appealing to won’t even vote for him.

      1. *so* down with the cause

    2. “John Gregg, a Libertarian running for Indiana governor, called out incumbent Republican Gov. Mike Pence as a “homophobe,” alluding to Pence’s 2015 signing ? and subsequent amending under great economic and political pressure ? a sweeping so-called Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which opponents said amounted to a license to discriminate against LGBT Hoosiers.”

      Another Libertarian Party candidate campaigning actively against liberty.

      1. Back in 2010, before everyone realized how homphobic a RFRA was, the LP favorably mentioned the following in a press release against TSA strip-searches:

        “The Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) recently filed the opening brief in its lawsuit against the program. EPIC says that the machines violate the federal Privacy Act, the *Religious Freedom Restoration Act,* the Video Voyeurism Prevention Act, the Administrative Procedures Act, and the Fourth Amendment. EPIC’s president called the program “unlawful, invasive, and ineffective.”” [emphasis added]

          1. More false advertising, from the LP platform:

            “Members of private organizations retain their rights to set whatever standards of association they deem appropriate, and individuals are free to respond with ostracism, boycotts and other free market solutions.”

            That seems like a very good idea, if only some candidate would support it.

  28. Airport follies.

    I had to take my shoes off for security at Vienna (Austria) Airport.

    I walk through the metal detector. The detector goes off. The security guard tells me to go back and take off my shoes. I go back, take off my shoes, and use a mix of German and English to cut in the security line. Folks let me in, I wonder if they were actual Viennese. No problems.

    My flight was delayed and the airline booked me on another airline’s flight. I had to go past security to another terminal for my new flight. I go through the metal detector, leave my shoes on, no problems.

    1. Maybe it falses intentionally every so many times so security can gauge your reaction. If it’s bored annoyance, it’s all good. If you start sweating and muttering under your breath in Arabic, it’s time for an impromptu prostate check.

  29. A seven-year-old boy in Japan is missing after his parents left him in the woods as punishment.

    Well he’s not “missing” then, is he?

    1. What’s wild is most Japanese parents don’t ground their kids when they do something bad. They lock them out of the house. Sometimes I’ll see a small kid crying and pounding on the door, begging to be let back in the house. I’ve heard from the older generation that they would lock the kid in the tiny storage space under the floor in the kitchen as punishment.

      1. They would lock the kid in the tiny storage space under the floor in the kitchen as punishment.

        Oh, the joys of privacy & solitude. I miss that crawl-space so.

        punishment for me would entail doing laundry while being forced to listen to mom’s daytime talk-shows. To this day, sock-matching makes me bitter and vengeful.

        1. I only wear white athletic socks. They all match one another.

          1. And Grey T shirts

          2. oh dear

      2. No wonder Japanese youth are increasingly averse to marrying and having kids! That sounds…not right.

    1. and he’s a supporter!

      Not really. He argued bernie was the most-libertarian candidate. I never recall nice words about Hillary.

      1. If you like freedom or social justice, or anything else this side of satanic chaos, your job is not only to vote for Hillary Clinton, but to stand up and say that you’re going to, loud and proud, in a way that communicates that you expect other decent Americans to do the same.

        1. I just went and read his pro-hillary piece.

          my lunch is ruined

    1. Slightly OT, but when I visited ISideWith.com and hit their quiz, I got “Kevin McCormick”. Who the hell is he?

      1. A movie producer and libertarian.

        1. I wonder what particularly in my answers at ISideWith prompted their system to identify me being so aligned with him. I can’t find very much about his platform at all.

          /shrug

  30. Naked ambition: Libertarian Presidential candidate strips down to tiny briefs and does a bizarre dance on stage at national convention

    James Weeks took the crowd by surprise Sunday after he began stripping
    To a tinny soundtrack, he stripped down to his tiny briefs
    After the music stopped he said into the mike: ‘Sorry, it was a dare’
    Event manager branded him an ‘idiot’ and a ‘moron’
    New Mexico Gov Gary Johnson, 63, was elected as its presidential candidate for the second time in a row

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..jeers.html

    And we wonder why no one takes us seriously.

    1. The rest of the photo-montage gives the impression that the fat-bearded stripping-man was not at all out of place at the convention.

    2. The guy in the Confedrate Officer’s uniform was also one of those “proud to call myself a libertarian” moments. Could we please, for the love of Bastiat, please just win first and THEN let our freak flags fly?

      1. Tolerated in the name of liberty.

        The problem (?) with libertarianism is ya gotta walk it like ya talk it.

      2. Tolerated in the name of liberty.

        The problem (?) with libertarianism is ya gotta walk it like ya talk it.

        1. And the problem with squirrels, is you can never kill enough of the little bastards to make a difference.

          1. So, essentially, you’re a futilitarian …

    3. I’d like to dismiss Starchild as merely a nut, but I know he’s a highly intelligent and articulate person — as well as being a nut.

    4. Weeks was in his undies, but…

      [dons shades]

      ..they wanted to see Johnson!

      1. It felt like months, but it was actually…
        [dons shades]
        …weeks.

  31. Wilkinson’s been churning out some Grade-A establishmentarian Derp this month:

    I find it especially distressing when it comes from libertarians and worry that a movement that has spent decades advancing the indiscriminately delegitimatizing view that politics is inherently criminal, violent, and authoritarian has probably made it harder to see what ought to be vivid distinctions between acceptable and unacceptable political conduct.

    1. So you have a guy who goes around throwing violent temper tantrums which opens him up to abuse allegations. Then you have a chick going around saying she’s going to set him up which opens her to lying allegations. Course once she does that it’s like giving him permission to hit her because who’s going to believe her after running her mouth. Also, Amber Heard is hot

      1. I suspect we’ll all want to play the “Kissinger Card” before the story is exhausted.

    2. I’d hope you he’d come to the healthy conclusion that she’s a manipulating bitch.

  32. Hi,

    Does anyone have a good estimate of what percentage of tax revenue New Mexico got under Gary Johnson that was derived from salaries paid by the federal government? Other than the rank hypocrisy and the ODS, Johnson seems like a pretty good guy.

    1. An implied endorsement from the likes of you is a pretty solid demonstration of why we should be skeptical about Jonson.

  33. I’m taking these lynx as a birthday present from Reason. There’s no mail today so I expect my lock of Rico’s hair tomorrow. This is part of our thank you package for donating right?

    1. Happy Birthday!

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    1. I thought for a second you said your buddy’s *mohel.*

      1. That’s $96/hr as salary. It said nothing AT ALL about the tips.

  35. It’s killing me that Reason has no follow-up interview with or statement from John McAfee. Did he just slink off afterward?

      1. From?

        1. You see, he has a malware-blocking program named after him, so it’s a joke.

          1. Yeah, I guess some people call virus detection software “malware blocking”. Like at least you do. 🙂

    1. He’s busy leading his new company to success.

      I hear they have a five-year plan.

  36. The Libertarian Party isn’t going to break 1% this election. They’ll likely underperform Barr/Root.

  37. I’m making $86 an hour working from home. I was shocked when my neighbour told me she was averaging $98 but I see how it works now. I feel so much freedom now that I’m my own boss…
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