Brickbat: Their Backup Plan Calls for Condoms


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Wildlife experts are calling New York city's plan to control the deer population on Staten Island nuts. City officials plan to perform vasectomies on hundreds of bucks. Cornell University ecologist Paul Curtis said a study that involved sterilizing deer in Ithaca ended after just three bucks were sterilized. "It wasn't safe for the deer, and it wasn't safe for us," he said. In addition, experts say that nonsterilized bucks can easily enter Staten Island and impregnate plenty of does.

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  1. Am I the only one who can see this problem being easily solved with a half dozen Elmer Fudds?

    1. But its so mean to have people shoot at deer!

    2. Sic the cops on Staten Island’s deer.

      1. Given typical cop marksmanship, that would be truly inhumane.

      2. Uh, Ted, they’re not dogs.

  2. This reminds me of all the people freaking out over the Gorilla getting shot to save the 4 year old tot.

    To liberals, animals are good, always, people are evil.

    Oh no, we can’t just shoot deer that are a nuisance. We have to protect their rights.

    Never mind that many of the deer will die from being traumatized by surgery (or just getting captured)

    1. It’s hard to explain to a lot of people.

      There is no such thing as a universal tranq dart or universal knockout gas. There’s a reason anesthesiologists tend to drive Beamers and not beaters.

    2. #justice4harambe

    3. But gorillas are really majestic! Behold the grace by which this noble ape scoops up its own vomit from the enclosure floor and shovels it back down the maw.

    4. Also, mever mind that shooring a deer is relatively humane compared to letting them starve to death over the winter.

  3. Any real ‘wildlife experts’ would know the only way to control a deer herd is to cull the does.

    1. Bingo.

      Those people live in a fantasy cartoon-world.

      1. Well I was playing a trivia game with a group of highly educated city people and they thought a cow was a ~300 lb. animal.

        Nature, what’s that?

        1. These are the same types that think they can buy all their food from ‘local sources ‘ year round. I guess you could if your local source was ,oh,a Kroger.

          1. It’s NYC. Gristedes , D’Agostino or Pathmark? Yes. Fairway Market? At least one, in Brooklyn.

            No Krogers in New York. My sister goes to a farmers’ market and orders from Fresh Direct. She drives into Queens to a nearby Costco and other stores that charge less than Manhattan prices. People on Staten Island can take a bridge to Jersey if the local stores don’t have what is needed. Staten Islanders are much more likely to have cars than folks who “live in the City.” – Kevin R

        2. To be fair, cows do weigh 300lbs at one point. Briefly.

          1. Mmmmmmmm. Veal!

            Kevin R

      2. Blame Bambi.

        1. I went to college in a very rural place, I was raised about 10 miles away in a slightly rural-er place, but most of my classmates were from Jersey or suburban New York. Some of them actually said “you would shot Bambi!?” It was a frequently expressed position.

          I got to the point that I had a boilerplate response:

          Let me tell you about Bambi. Bambi is a stupid, dangerous animal that will destroy your car, often injuring you in the process, eat enough crops to raise your food costs, over breed if left unculled, and ultimately eat himself out of house and home. Bambi is a fucking menace. Luckily he is also delicious.

          1. send him to the clip joint!

          2. Which SUNY school?

            1. Haha. Private institution, central PA.

              1. There are a lot of SUNY schools that fit the description. And it’s really changed the political landscape nort of Westchester/Rockland. We get NYC idiocy on the local level, not just in state politics.

                1. Philadelphia is creeping in here. I think it’s probably happening everywhere.

          3. Bambi is, in fact, the most dangerous animal in America. Well, maybe mosquitoes are worse, but according to Wiki, “In 2000, of the 6.1 million lightweight motor vehicle collisions reported in the US, 1 million involved animal-vehicle collisions. Deer?vehicle collisions lead to about 200 human deaths and $1.1 billion in property damage every year.”

  4. I remember reading about a number of places in the NE that were overrun with deer. Rather than reinstitute a hunting season some cities hired ‘deer control’ officers to cull the herds.

    That tells me what I need to know about that mentality. Their stance against hunting isnt about the deer.

    1. Actually, there are safety issues. Out in, for example, Iowa (my father taught at Iowa State for 15 years), the culture teaches safe hunting habits. In New Jersey? Not so much. People living in rural New Jersey get tired of having the sides of their house peppered. And that’s in one-house to five acres zoning. In one house to a quarter-acre suburbia, it would be much worse.

      All of which fails to demonstrate that agents of the State are going to be any better at controling where their shots go, but that’s a seperate issue.

      1. Limit it to bow hunting.

        1. They do that in some Connecticut towns. Professional sharpshooters, with bow, shotgun or rifle, are often needed to a) take enough of the herd to make a difference and b) avoid slob hunting. I live 60 mile east of NYC, and we have a lot of woodlots and even small farms. Deer are rampant, and at twilight especially you have to be alert to their darting in front of your vehicle.

          Even in more rural areas, you can’t hunt too close to someone’s house, or too near a road, unless your chosen weapon is a Buick.

          Kevin R

  5. Rx: ~180grn of lead; apply directly to vital organs at 2,800 fps.

    For best results, preheat grill.

    1. Here in Ohio it’s a 1 oz or 1 half oz slug.And age properly.

      1. 1 and a half oz,fixed

      2. PA leans heavily on .30 cal. options.

    2. suggested sides?

      1. Pickeled cabbage and sp?tzle.

        1. “Pickled”

      2. Venison steak? Wild rice and mushrooms – morels if you can get `em. You have to be knowledegable to pick your own, though. You could do a nice hunter’s stew. – Kevin R

  6. Three words: Urban Archery Season. Works fine in Northern Virginia. I pulled down 7 deer in 2 yrs inside the DC beltway. Could even feed homeless with it.

    1. Could even feed homeless with it.

      It’s like you didn’t learn anything from this exercise.

      1. But wild game is, like, yucky and stuff.

        1. I was trying to make a population-boom-and-bust joke. Unsuccessfully it seems.

          1. Well, I did respond to the wrong comment in an attempt to mock urban proggies who think nature is awesome until you ask them to actually engage with it.

            Posting from a phone teh hard.

    2. We couldn’t possibly feed these starving people anything that wasn’t processed in a commercial kitchen that has passed the requisite inspections and has their licenses up to date.

        1. I’d want to know how the chili was received at the shelters. Did the recipients enjoy it?

          Besides venison steaks and chops, and ground meat, venison sausage is great. My friends who hunt deer always wind up with a freezer full of sausage, some done as pepperoni. Good eating, year round. – Kevin R

  7. Yes, the nonsterilized bucks can come in from nearby and impregnate many of the does. Their favored mating grounds are train stations on New Year’s eve.

    1. It’s hard to tell owing to their quadrupedal nature, but they all have spray on abs.

  8. Nothing left to…er…cut….

    1. +2 nutz

  9. This is dumber than NC shooting the does with birth control darts.

    1. should have gathered in a circle and faced inward before firing…

    2. should have gathered in a circle and faced inward before firing…

  10. “Australian MP blames ‘human stupidity’ for suspected fatal croc attack”…..index.html

  11. Many years ago, same problem with Angel Island in SF Bay. Hunters?!? OMG! Bow and arrow? ZOMG! Wolves? FZOMG! Finally ended up helicoptering in bales of food over the winter.

    Hell, the hunters would even have paid some outrageous fee for the privilege ($300? $1000?) and the meat would have been donated to homeless shelters, so all the hunters would have gotten was I suppose a trophy head and the story.

    Fucking nannies, no thank you, but how the heck do they survive daily life? What do they do when a mouse invades their kitchen, or a fly comes in the window?

  12. Did they even try teaching them abstinence?

    1. They left condoms in baskets but no bucks took any.

      1. Cervine rape culture!

  13. How do the deer easily get there? Swim?

    1. Though I have never seen it in person, I have heard tell that whitetails are prodigious swimmers.

    2. The bridges. I saw online a few mos. ago a picture of some big game crossing a bridge.

      “Sorry, no EZ pass. Do you take buck bux?”

  14. Down here in Florida we have invasive species like boa constrictors, iguanas and now apparently nile crocodiles. But you can’t just kill them. You gotta have permits and seasons and such.

    They even have organized hunts for boas, but no open season, last I checked. WTF people?

    Iguanas are everywhere. They destroy your garden. But you can’t shoot ’em. Really dumb.

    We even have to have fishing licenses and rules for taking all the invasive fish species. Except the lionfish. That one we finaly won

    1. Florida Top Men?

  15. Texas has open season on feral pigs. I would think they could do the same for deer.

  16. You know who else liked sterilization?

    1. Margaret Sanger?

  17. I lived and worked in Staten Island….It is part of NEW YORK CITY! How can the deer not be controlled there? Is this a joke? If you can legally raise cows, kill them, and sell their meat (and milk), why can’t you do it with deer? They have the same “:feelings” as other animals that are routinely slaughtered and eaten.

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