Baylor Football Covered Up Rape, Trump and Bernie Might Debate, Israel a Thorny Issue for Dems: P.M. Links

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  • Game of Thrones
    Screenshot via HBO

    Baylor University is in big trouble for covering up a number of sexual assaults perpetrated by the football team. Now the heads are rolling: President Ken Starr is being demoted and Head Football Coach Art Briles was fired. In a sane world, these revelations would produce a public outrcry that demanded colleges be completely divorced from the project of adjudicating sexual assault. Alas, we do not live in that world.

  • Read the full Baylor report here.
  • Southern Oregon University's student government suspended a candidate's campaign because he said some politically incorrect things about trans people.
  • Sanders and Trump might debate each other, but only if the former can raise $10 million.
  • A fight is brewing over what the Democratic platform should say about Israel.
  • Ever wondered why Harry Potter's graduating class was so small?
  • On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?

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  1. We give thanks to Roberto for these links we are provided.

    1. Hello.

    2. These are above average. For him.

      1. The alt text is right on target.

    1. It’s really Bugs Bunny in drag, Elmer.

      1. Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?

        1. Excellent question for the presidential debates.

          1. Oh, it’s coming to this no doubt. In time if asked if you find a m2f tranny attractive and you say no, you will be labeled a bigot.

        2. He was a little opulent on the lip stick I find.

    2. There is rape at the Sept of Baylor, Fist.

      1. I heard the High Sparrow covered it up.

        1. Just when I was beginning to come to peace with having a degree from that hole.

  2. Sanders and Trump might debate each other, but only if the former can raise $10 million.

    For women’s awareness!

    1. Is there really anyone on this planet who is unaware of women?

  3. On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?

    That’s racist.

    1. Am I the one person who doesn’t watch “Game of Thrones”?

      1. Nope.

      2. Never seen it.

        1. I’ve never seen it, you never saw it.

      3. You can always count me in. I barely ever watch TV. And I even have HBO.

        1. I only watch TV when there’s a Ken Burns documentary about feminist quilt-weaving collectives. I win.

        2. “I barely ever watch TV.”

          But you pay $15 extra for HBO.

          That is not you do a humble-brag.

          1. not *how* you

          2. Actually, it was bundled “for free” for “new” subscribers. I shouldn’t forget to cancel the package in July when the promotion ends.

      4. no, sir.

      5. No, but I did hear they have nudity. That’s about all I know, except that it’s like a big game of “Dungeons and Dragons”, and also the guy who writes it all went to my college.

        1. We don’t take the HBO

        2. I’m so old that I read George R. R. Martin when he wrote science fiction, before he discovered that fantasy pays better.

    2. #WhiteWalkerPrivilege

    3. Must they have Walkers of Color, just to show they’re equal opportunity?

    4. I bet the Black Riders are quaking in their boots…”oh, no, White Walkers!”

      1. So long as the White Walkers don’t have torches or running water, the Black Riders have nothing to fear.

  4. B.C. students to write fewer provincial exams

    In addition to a revamped curriculum, B.C. students won’t have to write as many provincial exams under changes in how students are assessed announced Thursday by the Ministry of Education.

    The changes, which are due to take effect next year and this year during summer school, include:

    Fewer provincial exams: instead of five exams, there will be two. Students will be assessed on core math and writing skills during their graduation program years.

    Nothing causes me to wretch more than the words “revamped curriculum”.

    1. Here in Quebec, every time they ‘revamp’ they take a slice of history that doesn’t fit the nationalist narrative. It’s pathetic as it is petty. Pretty soon, only French-Canadians will have done anything and everything.

      1. “Pretty soon, only French-Canadians will have done anything and everything.”

        They’ll whiteout Gretzky? Sacre bleu!

        1. Edmonton didn’t riot when Gretzky was traded.

      2. +1 Duplessis Orphan monocles

    2. Which is too bad. There probably is a lot of good revamping that could be done.

      I don’t know what’s on a provincial exam, but government standardized tests don’t sound all that great to me either.

      1. Standard Libertarian Disclaimer, governments out of schools, yadda yadda…

        Maybe it doesn’t make sense for all students, but those tests were IMMENSELY helpful for me in getting a taste of what university testing was going to be like. Plus, I’m not sure how you rank students or know in any meaningful way whether a student knows his stuff without standardized tests of some kind.

        1. Plus, I’m not sure how you rank students or know in any meaningful way whether a student knows his stuff without standardized tests of some kind.

          Grades? I never took any standardized tests in college. Or are these tests for college entry? I think I may have mixed that up. Are they more like SATs?

          1. Grades?

            One teacher’s A can be another teacher’s C…

            Or are these tests for college entry?

            The tests are a requirement for graduation from high school.

            1. For some reason I was thinking they were for university student.

            2. One teacher’s A can be another teacher’s C…

              Not if the department has a standardized rubric.

    3. Forgot the best part:

      However, Iker [president of the teacher’s union] said the changes shouldn’t be rushed. He also called for a “meaningful monetary commitment.”

      Of course.

    4. So they’ll take more oral exams?

  5. On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?

    White Walkers/Hydra 2016

    1. What about COBRA KAI?

  6. Read the full Baylor report here.

    WHAT?! And be victimized AGAIN?!

  7. Ever wondered why Harry Potter’s graduating class was so small?

    Actually, never.

    1. Dammit, somebody beat me to the punchline!

      1. Didn’t read the books. Caught the movies in passing while my kids watched. The only thing I got out of it was that Harry sucked as a wizard. He couldn’t do shit.

        1. I watched the movies with the Rifftrax commentaries.

          Which is also how I watched Twilight and the first Hunger Games movie.

          And the latest Star Wars.

          In fact, that seems to be how I watch most movies nowadays.

          1. Watching those movies without the Rifftrax commentaries is like the joke about what a Phish fan says when he runs out of marijuana…”this band (movie) sucks.”

            1. No, you’re thinking of the Grateful Dead.

              1. Distinction without a difference my friend.

  8. A fight is brewing over what the Democratic platform should say about Israel.

    You know who else had things to say about the Jews?

    1. Pharoah?

    2. Riley Martin?

    3. Don Rickles?

    4. Mel Gibson?

    5. Jesse Jackson?

    6. Rabbi Krustofski?

      1. RIP 🙁

        1. And don’t forget, Rabbi Krustofski was moved to change by a Sammy Davis, Jr. quote.

      2. Jesse Jackson

    7. Mel Gibson?

      Or was it Jesse Jackson?

      1. Sick minds think alike.

    8. The better question is, “Who didn’t?” It’s a much shorter list.

      1. Well, it’s not the question that was asked.

        1. *Whoosh!*

      2. Lao Tzu? The Buddha?

    9. Moses?

    10. You know who else had things to say about the Jews?

      One of the many who just got off using some Scarlett Johansson pictures?

      I can see why everyone hates Jews. I mean just look at her. Disgusting.

      1. Well, at least they’re real, but surprisingly droopy.

    11. Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski?

    12. Henry Ford?

    13. Seinfeld’s dentist?

      1. Walter White?

      2. Anti-dentites?

    14. Karl Marx?

    15. Obviously, a large proportion of H&R commenters.

  9. A fight is brewing over what the Democratic platform should say about Israel.

    It’s always a good idea for the socially liberal to side with the ideology that hangs gay kids.

    1. Because Zionist oppression.

    2. They’ll know what to say once they investigate Israel’s transgender bathroom policy.

      1. What’s the bathroom policy of the Palestinian Authority?

    3. Your forgot the mass beheading and testing the kids ability to fly from roofs.

    4. I think the choices are “say nice things about Israel during election season” versus “drive the Jews into the sea.”

      1. No, I think the Democratic Party policy is closer to the “moderate Palestinian” view, which is “drive the Jews into the sea, but only up to their waists.”

  10. How soon until Art Briles is coaching again?

    1. He won football games. He shouldn’t even have been fired.

    2. A long time. The NCAA’s almost assuredly going to slap a very long show cause order on him (basically it means he can technically be hired, but any school has to explain to the NCAA why they shouldn’t be punished for hiring him. It’s effectively a ban.)

    3. I think in SEC what went down at Baylor is referred to as a ‘weekday.’

      1. I don’t know about that. If you look at some of the assault statistics I’ve seen, a better joke would be.

        I think at Harvard what went down at Baylor is referred to as a ‘slow Wednesday’.

  11. In what has become an annual tradition:

    HERNDON CLIMB 2016

    As many of you remember this is when US Naval Academy plebes mount a greased up monument to put a cap on it.

    Jeez, I’ve been at this since 2013!

    1. It figures you would be following the traditions of the Navy – the gayest of the military branches.

    2. They do the same thing at the Citadel every spring. I think Annapolis may have stolen the idea from the Citadel.

    3. 2014 and 2015 for those who are young men and women cooperatively mounting a greasy phallic symbol curious.

    4. God did a year fly by that quickly?

      1. The years keep getting shorter and the plebes keep getting younger, Slammer.

  12. On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?,/i

    No. Maybe a little sympathy, though. But it does set up some potentially interesting fantasy version of weapons of mass destruction and MAD with dragons and Walkers being the super-weapons of that world.

    I hope they don’t go for some kind of redemption of the White Walkers. That would be lame.

    1. There’s always wildfire.

      1. That’s more a weapon of moderate destruction.

        1. Right…

          Moderately
          Assured
          Destruction

        2. It even melts flesh!

          1. but does it melt steel beams?

          2. but does it melt steel beams?

  13. So Starr isn’t qualified to be president of the university any longer, but it’s fine to keep him as a law professor?
    That says a lot about our legal system. And tenure.

    1. Is it that Ken Starr?

      1. Yeah, it’s that Ken Starr…

        I learned more about oral sex from the Starr Report than I did from sex-ed at a Lutheran school. Thanks mom and dad for thinking that was edifying reading.

        1. Lutherans only have missionary position sex, right?

          1. The founder had sex with a nun and believe it or not, it only went downhill from there.

            1. The founder was Lex Luther, right?

            2. To be fair, plenty of people had sex with nuns back in the day. “Get thee to a nunnery,” was just an old timey way of calling someone a whore.

          2. I believe it depends heavily on the synod, Ted.

      2. Sorry, Ken. Someone can only get away with rape when they are Democrat president.

  14. If the NCAA was right to hammer Penn State for letting Sandusky use its program as a honey trap to rape young boys, and they most certainly were, then how can it not hammer Baylor for allowing its football players to go Steve Smith on other students? They need to hammer those assholes.

    1. These euphamisms aren’t very subtle any more…

    2. They need to hammer those assholes.

      Phrasing.

      1. The phrasing was intentional.

        1. I though that might be too good to be accidental.

          But we’re bringing “phrasing” back.

          1. Put it back in the deck.

    3. They need to hammer those assholes.

      Phrasing…

      And they probably will. NCAA works slow, usually. I think they’ve been trying to investigate UNC’s fake classes for the last two decades or so (ok, not really. it just seems that long.)

        1. Damn you.

      1. UNC is a big state school and basketball royalty. Baylor is a small Baptist school with little tradition and a small alumni base. Jerry Tarkanian used to say that the NCAA is so mad about Kentucky’s cheating they put Cleveland State on probation. They likely will never touch UNC. Baylor however is in a lot of trouble. They should call up to SMU to see how it works when the NCAA can make an example out of some small Texas private school that no one who matters cares about.

        1. Well Penn State is a big state school and football royalty.

          I think Tarkanian’s point is that the NCAA is the SEC’s and ACC”s bitch.

    4. The NCAA and pretty much everyone else rushed to judgement with Penn State. There is still a lot of bad information out there. I haven’t looked into the Baylor situation at all yet — maybe they deserve the worst, maybe they don’t — but I’ve learned not to trust the NCAA on this kind of stuff.

      1. Apparently you didn’t see what came out earlier this month.
        http://espn.go.com/college-foo…..ating-1971

        Penn State now admits to covering up rape allegations going back to 1971. The entire program was nothing but a sick fucking honey trap for Sandusky. And at this point, I am starting to think Paterno was a fucking pervert as well. If anything, what came out about Penn State was less appalling than the actual truth.

        1. No, I saw it. Those accusations aren’t supported by anything more than some lines from a judge’s summary, which in turn came from some depositions. I’m not in any way defending Sandusky, who is clearly guilty as hell and probably has been for decades. But the report you linked to is based on less information than what caused the original shit storm. The PA solicitor general came out saying they were unreliable. Maybe everyone was in on it and just liked seeing boys get raped, but there really isn’t good evidence for that.

    5. Related, and something that may influence the NCAA (although it is the NCAA so who knows): Baylor had a scandal over a decade ago when one player murdered another, and a whole lot of lying went on.

      1. Yeah. That was something else. One player murdered another because he was taking his playing time and the coach slandered the by claiming he was killed over drugs so that program wouldn’t look as bad.

        1. Speaking as someone who knew both of them and was their neighbor, no john, that is not what happened. They were very close, and there was no animosity. He just went schizo. It happens to some people at that age.

          1. And believe me, no one was more nervous than I was then they used the discredited “marijuana induced psychosis” gambit at the trial.

      2. It’s easier to recover from being sexually assaulted than it is from being murdered.

      3. They should probably get the death penalty, though the NCAA might not have the balls to do it.

  15. Southern Oregon University’s student government suspended a candidate’s campaign because he said some politically incorrect things about trans people.

    So now the aggrieved can’t even get back at him by not casting votes in his direction?

    1. You can’t even run for office if you’re deemed to have the wrong views.

      They do that in Iran, too.

  16. Peter Thiel, Tech Billionaire, Reveals Secret War With Gawker

    “It’s less about revenge and more about specific deterrence,” he said on Wednesday in his first interview since his identity was revealed. “I saw Gawker pioneer a unique and incredibly damaging way of getting attention by bullying people even when there was no connection with the public interest.”

    Mr. Thiel said that Gawker published articles that were “very painful and paralyzing for people who were targeted.” He said, “I thought it was worth fighting back.”

    Mr. Thiel added: “I can defend myself. Most of the people they attack are not people in my category. They usually attack less prominent, far less wealthy people that simply can’t defend themselves.” He said that “even someone like Terry Bollea who is a millionaire and famous and a successful person didn’t quite have the resources to do this alone.”

    Mr. Thiel said that he had decided several years ago to set his plan in motion. “I didn’t really want to do anything,” he said. “I thought it would do more harm to me than good. One of my friends convinced me that if I didn’t do something, nobody would.”

    1. So you are telling me that success of Facebook is likely the most positive event this century? I never expected that but i really can’t argue with the reasoning.

      1. John…

        smh.

    2. I like this guy. He’s bankrolling multiple similar suits as well.

      Unfortunately, Denton will just get some venture capital and rear his ugly head again to make a clone of the Gawker network.

      1. I don’t think anyone will invest in him now.

        And I think most of the company assets are held in a Cayman Islands shell company. It’s going to be fun to watch the Hulk try and collect.

        1. They’ll turn over the IP rights. He can turn Jezebel into an MRA hangout for the lulz. The main Gawker page can be nothing but extreme close-ups of his balls, craggy and magnificent, like relief maps of Mars.

          1. Holy shit, only now I understand how religious movements get started!

            Because that vision of paradise would make me storm the walls of Acre.

  17. On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?

    I’m rooting for the Summer Isles. But then, I’m not a racist.

    1. I do support their funeral celebrations.

  18. “You shall be my weapon against The Trump,” Hillary said as she stroked Elizabeth’s bumpy skull through her elderly lesbian hair. “You will destroy him for me.”

    “Yes, Mistress. I will destroy him for you.”

    Hillary pressed Elizabeth to her black-nippled teat. Veins pulsed right under the skin.

    “Suckle on my hate. Grow powerful,” Hillary said. She rammed her breast into Elizabeth’s mouth and squeezed out clotted milk in a stuttering geyser.

    Elizabeth’s fingers slid into the dry canal of Hillary’s dead cunt, shelves of desiccated pus shedding, falling to the floor. She worked spiked nub of her clitoris until her thumb bled.

    “Will it be enough?” the goiter on Hillary’s neck asked in an excited whisper.

    “I don’t know. This chittering twat is almost as used up as I am,” she whispered back. She needn’t have bothered. The sounds of Elizabeth choking and sputtering filled the campaign bus bedroom utterly.

    1. “The Trump is powerful. He has the hair and the hat,” the goiter said.

      “I don’t fuck give a fuck about the goddamn hat! The hat is nothing! NOTHING!” she screamed. She cuffed Elizabeth on the ear in sent her reeling, rancid hillarymilk dribbling from her lip.

      ‘What did I do?” Elizabeth whined. She wrapped her arms around her head and face, bingo wings queasily flubbering.

      “I’m going to fill you up, bitch,” Hillary said. She stomped Elizabeth in the ribs right below the breasts. As she moved to hold her chest, Hillary palpitated one last stubborn gob of milk right in to her mewling mouth.

      “Whose cunt is more powerful than mine?” Hillary demanded.

      “No one,” Elizabeth managed, choking.

      “Wash it down,” Hillary said as she squatted over Elizabeth and let loose a stream of urine teeming with hormones.

      1. “Whose cunt is more powerful than mine?” Hillary demanded

        +1 Snuke

        1. “Whose cunt is more powerful than mine?” Hillary demanded

          Just like Winston’s mom, this is one easy: Winston’s mom’s cunt is more powerful.

      2. Even for you, SF, this is going too far.

        1. Oh, come on, J B — “clotted milk in a stuttering geyser” is sheer poetry.

          1. I was eating a mouthful of mixed nuts as I read that. I could have died.

        2. Worse than the shitting armpit nipples?

          The “shelves of desiccated pus” was a particularly inspired image.

        3. whew. I read about half a sentence, and my danger sense said ‘This is a big fucking mistake, STOP!!’

          Sounds like it was right.

      3. +1 dry heave

      4. You never fail to disappoint. Just spectacular. These would make excellent comic books.

        1. I welcome an illustrator.

          1. In a genre known as disturbingly graphic art.

          2. He would have to be blind.

          3. I’d volunteer, but with my luck THAT would be the only art of mine consigned to history. Who wants to be remembered as the artist who illustrated Hillary’s shelves of desiccated pus?

      5. I think your slashfic is growing on me. Does anyone have an ointment for that?

        1. Crusty does, but you’re not gonna like it.

      6. This reminds me of when Morgana deceived King Arthur leading to the birth of Mordred.

      7. Maybe we should be considering whether the First Amendment really that sacrosanct.

      8. Jesus Christ, SugarFree…..you know what this does? Every time I hold back from saying something vile and offensive for shock value, I can be like… it’s fine, because SugarFree.

        Just promise me one thing. Do not ever mate with Agile Cyborg. The world would break.

        1. See. My mom had it all wrong. I do serve a purpose.

      9. I’ll say what I said to Agile – when you’re a bestselling author, don’t forget the little people online who read your masterpieces first.

      10. You didn’t build that.

      11. rancid hillarymilk

        Band name! Very metal.

      12. I… I…

        …I think I need counseling.

  19. You Are in the Sea. Your Stuff Is on the Beach. Now What?

    How do you make sure your phone, money and keys aren’t stolen?

    ? Doris Truong suggested “stashing stuff inside a clean diaper (that to others looks dirty).”

    1. I’ve never actually had something stolen while I’m out swimming.

      1. I watched a bitch steal my flip flops from the outside lineup. Being a ghetto bitch, she had no idea how quickly I could get back to the beach.

        1. Is this racist? I can’t even.

          1. There are all kinds of bitches in this world, aw.

          2. Polish ghetto perhaps?

        2. Who is fleet-footed now?

    2. I actually use a dirty diaper

      1. I don’t think she meant the one you’re wearing.

    3. I store my stuff in a medical-waste disposal bin, so that anyone who steals the stuff gets radiation poisoning.

  20. The White Walkers are, ultimately, in favor of life, at least as they have come to understand it. Sure, they kill their enemies. But they also resurrect them, provide them protection and meaning, with neither sustenance nor suffering a concern any longer. Free will is overrated; just look at Westeros as we know it.

    I realize this is an opinion fluff piece about a fictional TV show, but that someone would make this argument is still sad. They don’t resurrect their enemies, they resurrect their bodies and use them as cannon fodder. Good Lord.

    1. It’s Sonny Bunch. He’s trolling.

    2. But they’re carbon neutral!

      1. They are the only real solution to global warming.

    3. And I haven’t seen much in the way of meaning with the Walkers or their zombies. I guess the show has added a bit of what looks like culture, but not in the books, so far anyway.

  21. Asian-American Actors Are Fighting for Visibility. They Will Not Be Ignored.

    On Facebook, Ms. Wu ticked off a list of recent films guilty of the practice and said, “I could go on, and that’s a crying shame, y’all.” On Twitter, she bit back against Hollywood producers who believe their “lead must be white” and advised the creators of lily-white content to “CARE MORE.” Another tip: “An easy way to avoid tokenism? Have more than one” character of color, she tweeted in March. “Not so hard.”

    It’s never been easy for an Asian-American actor to get work in Hollywood, let alone take a stand against the people who run the place. But the recent expansion of Asian-American roles on television has paradoxically ushered in a new generation of actors with just enough star power and job security to speak more freely about Hollywood’s larger failures.

    1. And their heightened profile, along with an imaginative, on-the-ground social media army, has managed to push the issue of Asian-American representation ? long relegated to the back burner ? into the current heated debate about Hollywood’s monotone vision of the world.

      “The harsh reality of being an actor is that it’s hard to make a living, and that puts actors of color in a very difficult position,” said Daniel Dae Kim, who stars in “Hawaii Five-0” on CBS and is currently appearing in “The King and I” on Broadway.

      1. You know this has gone off the rails when the wealthiest racial group in the country starts demanding “visibility” and “justice”. Besides, I’d be willing to bet that asians are over-represented in TV/movies although I’m way too lazy to attempt to research it.

      2. You know what has probably done more to help Asian actors land big roles than social media armies? The Chinese market for Hollywood movies.

        Capitalism FTW

        1. I spent a week in Beijing last summer. I kept entertaining myself by guessing whether a model pictured on another billboard was Chinese or Caucasian.

      3. Daniel Dae Kim? Sounds like Kim Jong-il’s stage name from back in vaudeville days.

        1. I think he was the Korean mafia guy on Lost.

      4. You got through all that without one mention of all the varieties of Asian porn?

        C’mon Crusty, there are standards to be upheld.

        Sug just finished mind-raping us! Now that we’re laying here face down in our own drool, picturing Hillary-Milk, you have an opportunity to finish us all off.

        1. As I have said countless times on this forum, I only watch amateur English pornography.

          1. You do strike me as a “Sophie Dee”-type.

          2. As I have said countless times on this forum, I only watch amateur English pornography.

            Admit it, it’s all about the teeth.

          3. And how do you get your fill of face sitting?

      5. Oh shut up you fucking whiner. If Hollywood thought there was money in making a show about building a railroad, running a laundry, or delivering takeout on scooters they would have made one already.

        1. No, it’s a sign that Hollywood is actually really run by the Gay Mafia, who couldn’t comprehend why anyone would want to see attractive Asian women on their screens.

          1. Speaking of, I wish Ghost in the Shell production company had balls and said “We heard the complaints about not having an Asian lead and we agree. Instead of Scarlet Johansen, we will be casting Gal Gadot.”

            1. To be fair, by that standard ScarJo is at least Eurasian.

              It’s also why I think, at this point in our history, human classification systems outside of haplogroups (Y-DNA and mtDNA) are as meaningless as a periodic table of elements that consists solely of Fire, Air, Water, Earth, and Aether.

              1. Indeed. I was just thinking that railing about how “She should be Asian” is ridiculous – if they cast an Indonesian or Filipino actress, they’ll still rail. What’s wrong with “GitS is a Japanese comic, set in Tokyo – lead should be Japanese”?

            2. I do wish they had cast a Japanese actress for the role, but since Japan is going to make a Fullmetal Alchemist movie with a Japanese cast (despite being set in an alternate-universe Germany), I say we’re even.

              1. From what I understand, unless you go with an unknown, there is about only one actress of Japanese ethnicity in Hollywood who has any experience who could be cast in that role.

                Sometimes these PC check boxes are not really feasible.

              2. Furumetaru?

              3. Yeah, kinda like Attack on Titan or Terror Formars with a 100% Japanese cast – while the anime for each was pretty diverse (if they even referenced Japan).

        2. I dunno. Hollywood makes a lot of far left/anti-American movies that don’t make money.

          And they virtually ignore the pro-American movie market, though sometimes some accidentally get through

    2. Apropos of nothing, I’ve started watching Nirvana in Fire (Lang Ya Bang) on Viki; it’s really good!

      1. I though Kurt Cobain shot himself, not immolated.

        1. He did ‘fire’ the shotgun.

          At least that’s what they want you to think.

          1. Thank you. Everyone knows the talented goddess Courtney Love pulled the trigger.

      2. That’s Hillary’s campaign!

        Oh, I read that as Vagina on Fire.

        1. It’s dry enough to be a fire hazard.

    3. And this week’s winner in the Most Aggrieved category is…
      **tears envelope**

    4. When I want to see Asian actors, I watch Asian movies. I probably have more movies at home on DVD or Blu-ray with Tony Leung than with any other actor.

      1. with Tony Leung than with any other actor.

        And speaking of that, when I want to watch Infernal Affairs, I watch Infernal Affairs and not the fucking Departed

        1. I did not like Infernal Affairs as much. Stupid expectations. It is people like you…

          1. Did you watch all three?

            1. No, just the first. I did not know there were more.

              1. Yeah, it doesn’t work unless you see all 3 and how the narratives weave together and some minor detail you half-remember from the 1st hits you in the face in the 3rd.

                1. I will have to correct that. Thank you.

          2. However, The Man From Nowhere, a Korean film, is a fantastic action movie. Watch that one instead of Infernal Affairs, people.

            1. Not really the same ballpark as far as genres. The New World is an excellent recent gangland takeover flick though. It’s nice when the Korean studios start investing in US theater chains and you get the chance to watch subtitled first-run Korean flicks the week after they open in Seoul.

      2. When I want to see Asian actors, I watch Asian Kung Fu movies.

        1. What, no love for good Hong Kong shoot em up film.

          1. They all look the same to him.

            1. Did you get a chance to watch the crippled avengers?

              1. Thanks for the reminder! No, not yet..but now I know what I’m doing this Sunday afternoon.

      3. I only watch American remakes that improve on the Asian original, like Old boy.

    5. Joan Fontaine and Olivia de Havilland were Asian.

    6. advised the creators of lily-white content to “CARE MORE.”

      Knock-out!

  22. Sanders has Cornel West on his platform drafting committee?! How perfect.

    1. You have to give Sanders credit, the man is full retard all the time.

      1. Foreign policy?

  23. Martin describes The Children of the Forest as looking like human children with wide-set eyes, not Sprout, the Jolly Green Giant’s catamite.

    1. And now I’m regretting not going to Blue Earth, MN while I was out that way…

    2. They did put out a casting call for actresses with wide-set eyes.

      My problem is that they seemed to have the same British accent as everyone else. Would’ve been nice to change their voice to something more ethereal.

      1. Hell or high water, they all have to be from the BB fucking C. That’s why most of the extras are as ugly as Wales.

  24. “To the disappointment of devotees of laissez-faire government, from wild-eyed crypto-anarchists to grim Randian Objectivists, the rumored “Libertarian moment” that presidential candidate Rand Paul was supposed to usher in did not arrive. Indeed, a Donald Trump?Hillary Clinton general election has to be a real nightmare for libertarians.”

    I always thought ‘laissez-faire’ was the exclusive property of classical liberal thought. Or did it expand into anarchism (which is its own entity) and Objectivism?

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelli…..ember.html

    1. Indeed, a Donald Trump?Hillary Clinton general election has to be a real nightmare for libertarians.

      Wait, Donald Trump is running for president? You’d think Reason would’ve covered that.

    2. Is there a more anarchistic phrase than laissez-faire?

      Thought they chose to write “laissez-faire government” right before citing anarchists, so that is kind of inelegant.

    3. Why wouldn’t it apply to Objectivism? Economically it’s just minarchism.

      1. Except for the robust military that needs to go around playing world police. Ayn’s faithful love themselves some military-industrial complex.

    4. The glass is half full!

      “But there’s a silver lining to these darkening clouds. Precisely because Clinton and Trump leave many voters cold, likely Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson is suddenly polling in double digits in general-election trial heats ? barely double digits (10 percent in surveys from Fox News and Morning Consult), but double digits nonetheless.”

  25. I saw one of Trump’s spokesbabes on CNN – I’m assuming he picks ’em by the size of their tits or something because he sure as hell don’t pick ’em for brains – explaining how she has no idea if Trump actually was serious about debating Sanders when he was joking about it and then said she didn’t even know if he’d said it at all. They had just gotten done playing the clip and she didn’t know if he’d actually said what he just said. This is apparently SOP for Trump’s spokesbots – say whatever the hell you want because it just don’t matter.

    1. Who would you rather have lie to you, some blond with a nice wrack or some infuriating douche bag like Josh Earnest?

      1. That’s the entire philosophy behind Fox News.

        1. You can’t argue with success.

          1. Anderson Cooper willing to sex it up in a mini for CNN but beyond Don Lemon no takers.

    2. It really, really doesn’t. At this point the only people on the fence about Trump are weighing Hillary in the balance, and hers are the only words that are going to influence their decision.

        1. Yeah. I pluralized cans like a twat.

          1. “like a twats”.

      1. Not so fast. There are a bevy of low-info idiocracy voters that could flock to Trump if he insults her in a debate and she loses her shit or looks lost for words.

    3. Charlie’s Angel #1: Well… Congressman Wilson, he has an expression. He says uhh, “You can teach ’em to type, but you can’t teach ’em to grow tits.”

  26. http://acculturated.com/new-yo…..ar-on-men/

    Another one of those stories that if you had seen it even two years ago you would not have believed it.

    New York magazine’s digital fashion blog The Cut announced last week that it is addressing “the gender wars” in a new blog, as well as a column, intended to provide its largely female readership with a greater understanding of men and masculinity. This seemed like an intriguing and positive step toward easing tensions in the war between the sexes; but unfortunately, if the content thus far is any indication, don’t expect a truce to be forthcoming.

    The name choices are already a bad sign: the blog is called Beta Male and the column is titled “Mansplaining,” both of which are derogatory terms that will simply turn off male readers and open-minded women. It’s as if the editors were signaling from the get-go that they’re not so much sincerely interested in understanding manhood as they are in winking at the man-haters among their readers.

    1. As for Beta Male, it promised to “talk about manly kinds of things, only maybe not in the usual manly way.” In other words, don’t expect the blog to feature the traditional perspective of men’s men like, say, Discovery Channel host and skilled trades advocate Mike Rowe, whose easygoing but unapologetic masculinity would probably send The Cut staff scrambling for safe spaces. Instead, the blog so far largely features writers and topics that confirm The Cut’s low opinion of men.

      “Beta Male’s premise,” The Cut womansplains, “is that the chiseled altar of virility is looking a little dated; overwrought; kitschy.” I can promise you that this is true only to privileged, young, Third Wave feminist, liberal arts graduates who gravitate toward jobs like fashion editors, because in the real world beyond New York, chiseled virility is a quality still very much valued by women. But the editors at The Cut want you to believe that “the newest iteration of manhood is still very much in beta.”

      This is why The Onion isn’t funny anymore.

      1. It’s as if the editors were signaling from the get-go that they’re not so much sincerely interested in understanding manhood as they are in winking at the man-haters among their readers.

        You don’t say.

        Also, are they actively trying to get someone to call them The Cunt? Because that’s just way too easy.

        1. Also, are they actively trying to get someone to call them The Cunt?

          Bingo!

    2. I didn’t think anyone would be able to surpass Jezebel’s choice of “Groupthink” as a blog name, but here it is.

  27. B.B. King’s Estate War: 15 Kids, 15 Moms

    Looks like the thrill is just beginning.

    1. I gave you seven children and now you want to give them back.

      Poor BB, he was always downhearted.

      1. Poor BB, he was always downhearted.

        Yup, he came to shit but only farted.

      1. IN all seriousness, if Lucille isn’t the most valuable popular music collectible, it has to be in the top ten. That guitar would go for millions if it ever went up for auction.

        1. You would expect it to be more valuable than just about anything short of a Stradivarius.

          1. The only thing I could think of that might beat it is Paul McCartney has a base that he played from the very start of the Beatles. He still uses it. It is the small red one. It has a set list from Hamberg i think that is still written on the top. That would be something else to own, but so would Lucille.

            1. Bass John, Bass Guitar, you keep spelling it wrong

          2. Not really. the ‘rare guitar’ market isn’t all that highly capitalized compared to things like Watches, vintage cars, etc.

            Hendrix’s “Monterey” guitar – a strat he famously set on fire – went for like 1-2m at auction a few years back.

            And there was never “1” Lucille. There were dozens.

          3. e.g. this list of “most valuable guitars @ auction” have very few over $1m”
            http://www.gizmag.com/most-val…..old/38147/

      2. You picked a fine time to leave her.

    2. Only 15 kids by 15 different women?

      1. Actually, it’s highly likely that none of the kids were his. Low sperm count.

      2. Well, he did have a low sperm count.

        1. Well, he did have a low sperm count.

          Well, yeah! Banging 15 women would leave him drai…oh, wait… I see what you’re saying.

          1. What he missed in quality was likely made up for in quantity.

            15 kids, 15 women?!

    3. No wonder he was so good at the blues.

  28. Sanders and Trump might debate each other

    CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!

  29. On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?

    THEY’RE NOT CALLED THE WHITE WALKERS THEY’RE CALLED THE OTHERS ROBBY YOU STUPID GORGEOUS IDIOT

    So the house that I just bought is full of godawful redneck engineering. Example: in the entrance hall, instead of refinishing the hardwood floor properly, they bought some cheap shitty prefinished flooring and glued it on top of the original floor. Has anyone ever removed this garbage? Can I get it up with a heat gun, or am I going to have to rip up the original floor too?

    1. It depends on the glue. If they used Liquid Nails, you’re fucked.

    2. Seems like a good solvent and a lot of time with a scraper would work. You’ll probably damage the hardwood, but you can weather and stain it to give the house a rustic look if you’re into that.

      1. I’m sanding and refininishing the entire rest of the house, so it would be nice to properly redo the entrance as well. Fuck, I hate shortcuts.

        1. I have peeled up a ton of laminate with just the scraper, but always on concrete floors (commercial bathrooms). It’s a lot of work, and you leave behind a lot of glue, so you’ll probably be scouring it with solvent and I have no idea what that does to hardwood.

          Although it may just sand off.

      2. If you can get the glued down stuff off, you can just sand down the hardwood to a new surface. Getting the new stuff off is going to be the trick.

        1. They also cut the…footers(? Whatever you call the decorative things on the edge of the doorframes) to make room for the shitty flooring. Fucking lazy fucks.

            1. Sounds like a good name. Base blocks they are.

          1. Shovel off the laminate, best you can, rent a square floor sander, not an orbital, heavy grit pads… enjoy your week. Think of it as an ol’timey workout. Finish off with finishing pads. Or, do what I do and make the orphans do it

            1. I’ve been sanding and restaining and varnishing the floor in the rest of the house, but I don’t have time to take care of the entrance hall right now. It’ll have to be an adventure for later.

            2. One of these guys: http://www.grandrentalnh.com/m…..ACTION.jpg

              They are surprisingly easy to use. Though I suppose that depends on how easy you think it looks.

              1. That’s precisely the machine I’m going to rent on Saturday. The Home Depot didn’t have it yet last weekend, so I rented some machine with three orbital sanders on the bottom. It didn’t even come close to being able to deal with the old varnish, so I took it off with a belt sander and 36 grit sandpaper and used the machine to smooth out the bare wood. It suuuuuucked.

          2. Has it ever occurred to you that the installers weren’t lazy fucks but did only what they were paid to do by the people who hired them ?

            Nah, not in your mind , huh ? They were just stupid rednecks who refused to do extra work for free that they weren’t paid to do buy the previous owners.

            I guess they were just IGNORANT STUPID IGNORANT PEOPLE like you love to rant about.

            Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen a WART ?

    3. My thoughts and prayers are with you, because that is going to suck.

    4. They’re the white walkers in the show, right? In the books there’s the “others” and the “wights.” I think the show didn’t want people to think they stole “others” from Lost. IIRC.

      1. I don’t recognize the show’s nomenclatural nonsense.

    5. So the house that I just bought is full of godawful redneck engineering.

      Why don’t you want to make America great again, you fucking elitist?

      1. WHYCUM YOU NO LEIK LINOLEEUM COLLEJ BOY?

      2. LOOKIT THESE HERE BOB VILLA WATCHIN PBS FAGGOT

    6. It depends on the adhesive used. Being redneck engineering, it could be anything. Probably worth a shot if you can get under it to pry it up somewhere.

      You should have seen my house when I bought it. The older half of it was literally built from whatever they could find lying around, including logs with the bark still on and half burned beams salvaged from an old barn or something.

      1. They don’t do redneck engineering anymore like they did in the good old days.

    7. You should put another, nicer floor on top of that one.

      1. “Honey, why does my head hit the header now?”

        1. That’s to remind you to take your shoes off when you come in the house.

    8. We’re talking Game of Thrones, not A Song of Ice and Fire. Loser!

      1. (and no, I don’t have any helpful information for you; obviously)

    9. You should see my friends house, the previous owner took up some of the planks near the fireplace and replaced them by pouring concrete in between the other boards.

    10. Since you are so sure that a redneck put it down why not contact a redneck to find out how to take it up ?

  30. Speaking off the “cherished alter of virility,” I decided to grow out my beard for the first time in my life. Up to this point I’ve only ever had a little goatee or nothing. It’s coming in pretty sandy in color with glints of red. So I went looking for growing and grooming tips, and my God there is such a hipster culture surrounding beards that I’m tempted to shave it off again. So: what practical advice can you people give me that doesn’t involve beard wax?

    1. Trim it every now and then to avoid split ends, avoid the temptation to twirl it or you’ll break the hairs, and enjoy not shaving. And do some deadlifts so you have a yoke to go with your beard. No one likes a man with no traps.

      1. Stupid deadlift question. Should the back and ass be more parallel to the floor or should your back and ass be pointed toward the floor in more of a squatting position when begining your lift.

        1. Always pointed toward the floor, else you present a delicious target for the rapesquach.

        2. It depends on the lengths of your legs, torso, and arms. If you have long legs and short arms, your back may well be almost parallel to the floor when you start. Rip has a nice long treatment of it here. In general, you want to look like this guy in the start position.

          1. Ah, I forgot to mention – what determines the right starting position is that your lats and arms will form a right angle and the bar will be behind your shoulders. Check it out.

            1. Thanks. I’m all long arms/legs my torso is a bit short for my body.

    2. My approach is to occasionally trim it to avoid looking like too much of a crazy weirdo and trim it short a few times in the summer when it gets too hot.

      Worrying too much about not looking like a hipster is a hipster thing to do.

      1. Oh, I’m not worried about looking like a hipster. I don’t have the patience or the desire to overly groom my hair, let alone my (eventual) beard. But it does put me off what an art form they make it out to be.

        1. I’d just let mine go wild in the winter at least, but it grows faster on one side and that starts to look weird. It’s pretty easy to get good at making it look decent with a quick trim with scissors every few weeks.

          Of course, a lot depends on how thick and fast growing yours is.

          1. Not very thick, not very fast. One of the reasons I never grew it out was that I thought it would look patchy, and at least partway up my cheeks I was right.

            1. Not very thick, not very fast

      2. How much glitter should he use?

        1. I only use glitter in the winter, and it’s made from frozen snot.

    3. I just grew mine back. to discover that what was once a nice sandy blonde is now turning gray.

      1. Does the… does the carpet match the drapes?

        1. Sadly…must be all the idiot HOA board members and community managers I have to deal with on a daily basis.

    4. At some point it will grow too long for the oils your face makes to keep the hair healthy. While wax is too much, an oil isn’t bad.

      1. See, that’s good to know. I knew there was a line between bearded gentleman and beard-wearing ubernerd.

        1. Mines at the line, I use honest amish balm every now and then. It’s basically oil with some sort of Shea butter?

    5. So: what practical advice can you people give me that doesn’t involve beard wax?”

      If your don’t have a face that needs hiding , don’t grow a beard.

  31. Ever wondered why Harry Potter’s graduating class was so small?

    No. But I do wonder why people watched beyond the first one since all of the sequels are pretty much just mots.

    1. You would have had to have watched beyond the first one to know that. Just sayin’.

    1. Did James Ellroy write that?

      1. I was just disappointed that the maniac didn’t actually attack the dad with his own daughter.

    2. “He pushed me and I caught myself and then he punched me in the face,” Adams said. “I took it and then moved him out of the bathroom? He was just exploding.”

      So the victim managed to corral this asshole out of the bathroom after being suckerpunched, then bloodied him and locked him down.

      The assailant is a brave man for being such a little bitch.

      1. Seems unwise to push someone out of the bathroom while they’re exploding.

        1. It’s wise when your two kids are in that bathroom.

          1. touche

    3. “I never gave much thought about Obama trying to push this and now I do,” he said. “It shouldn’t matter what you identify with but families should be allowed to go to the bathroom without trouble.”

      I’m confused by what he means here, exactly. Should families NOT be allowed in a bathroom if it does matter what you identify with?

      1. He chose to put his family at risk by going in the men’s room. The men’s room is no place for children.

        1. Crusty, known men’s bathroom frequenter and enthusiast.

    4. That article is terrible. Is that how people write these days?

      1. Don’t mad dog the reporter, bro.

  32. The new narrative going out in the progressive media meetings is to push global warming through Game of Thrones. Truly they fucking love science.

    1. Eh, Martin would get right on it. He’s a Right-Thinking Progressive Person. To the point that any readers can forget books if you get Presidente Trump. He’ll spend next four years writing two angry screeds a day on his blog.

      1. As opposed to his current prodigious output?

        1. I’m not a fan or reader of his books, but I’d imagine lack of output sits better than 4000 words a day, all about Trump and Republicans, while there’s no book in sight….

  33. OT. My local government is terrible at planning. It’s now on my work to make time stop so we can get what they need on time.

    Procrastination? Maybe. Incompetency? I think so.

  34. Ken Starr fired in a rape scandal? I bet Hillary is having some Schadenfreude.

    1. Maybe Starr’s wife can run for Pres.

  35. On Game of Thrones, should we root for the White Walkers?

    The White Walkers are, ultimately, in favor of life, at least as they have come to understand it. Sure, they kill their enemies. But they also resurrect them, provide them protection and meaning, with neither sustenance nor suffering a concern any longer. Free will is overrated; just look at Westeros as we know it.

    So a WaPo writer declares that free will is overrated, that everyone in society would be better off being the mindless drones of a totalitarian overlord and that the mass murdering anti-humanists really get a bad rap. So like a normal Thursday for the Post.

    1. Up next: Reapers, the misunderstood heroes of Mass Effect universe.

      1. Where do you think they fall on Reavers and a little chemical substance known as G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate, or simply “Pax”.

        Good idea, or best idea ever?

        1. Good idea ruined by private enterprise and starving science of government funding, obviously.

    2. It’s Sonny Bunch. He’s joking.

  36. Oh, come on, British press, you can spell out the word “bastard” without asterisks, especially if you spell out “whore.”

    1. And it wasn’t even used in the derogatory sense but the actual old timey usage of the word. “Born a King’s bastard” is just not as politically correct as “Born a King’s illegitimate son”, which also doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  37. Sanders and Trump might debate each other, but only if the former can raise $10 million.

    Raising ten million dollars is no problem. But it’s wrong.

    /natlampnixonbit

    1. The lulz will be worth it. It should be pay per view.

  38. I don’t get the people shitting on Peter Thiel. The only relevant question is if Hogan’s case had merit. If it did, then why is Thiel funding it wrong? It’s not like he is just funding dozens of small suits in order to harass Gawker. He funded a suit that clearly had merit given that it ended in a 140 million dollar judgment.

    Personally, I think these massive judgment for stolen sex tapes and naked pictures are ridiculous. There’s no way this was worth over a hundred million. That’s an issue for tort reform though, and has nothing to do with whether or not Peter Thiel did anything wrong.

    1. What is the argument against Thiel, that he paid for Hogan to fight a proxy battle against Gawker? It’s still Hogan’s case and presumably he’d still have brought it whether or not Thiel paid for platinum legal representation.

      1. From the NYT article:

        the revelation this week that Mr. Thiel was covertly backing Mr. Bollea’s case as well as others has raised a series of new questions about the First Amendment as well as about the role of big money in the court system ? specifically the emerging field of litigation finance, in which third parties like hedge funds and investment firms pay for other people’s lawsuits.

        Roy D. Simon, a professor emeritus of legal ethics at Hofstra University School of Law, suggested that the practice has helped “level the playing field” by providing resources for people to mount cases against big institutions that would be impossible otherwise.

        But he said there was a risk when a lawsuit was funded by a single person with a potential agenda. “I am troubled by Thiel,” Professor Simon said. “I guess that one guy is much more likely to have an agenda driven by revenge or personal dislike or wanting to prove a point.”

        1. Ugh.

          Yeah, I’m certain given the government’s efforts to squelch the corrosive effects of big money on x that this won’t result in big money becoming even more outsized in its influence and the rest of the country being all the more screwed in court.

          1. There are also claims that suing Gawker of existence for posting the video potentially hinders free-speech, because a jury got to determine what was newsworthy.

        2. “But he said there was a risk when a lawsuit was funded by a single person with a potential agenda. “I am troubled by Thiel,” Professor Simon said. “I guess that one guy is much more likely to have an agenda driven by revenge or personal dislike or wanting to prove a point.””

          And this is what I’m talking about – who cares if he has an agenda? The case had enough merit that it won huge in court. The personal reasons for the person funding the case don’t matter.

          1. I can’t imagine anyone involved in a lawsuit having an agenda…

          2. Only groups have legitimate agendas, not individuals.

            -Prog 101

        3. Yeah, the NY Times has always worried about people using money and the courts for “agendas.” *Rolls eyes*

      2. Hulk Hogan had a case that won on the merits. Thiel funded Hogan because Thiel had an unrelated grudge against Gawker. However, the fact that he wanted to crush Gawker doesn’t change the fact that he managed to do so because Gawker broke the law, invaded someone’s privacy, and then refused to take down a sex tape they’d uploaded without consent, even after a court ordered them to.

        I don’t think Gawker should have gotten hit with a judgment that high, but people are acting like this is incredibly dangerous to free speech. How? Unless every other media outlet plans on uploading sex tapes that were taken without the subject’s knowledge and then ignoring court orders, this is not exactly a blue print to destroy other media outlets.

        1. Yeah, it’s not like they denied global warming!

  39. Bernie and Trump should fuck with the system by vigorously agreeing with each other.

    1. Are you TRYING to encourage SF?

  40. FDA eliminates the best goddamn potato chips in the free world

    I do not say this lightly, Fuck these motherfuckers with a rusty box grater! mother! fuckers!

    1. And they have to replace it with corn oil. Hmmm, ethanol mandate, sugar taxes to make HFCS more economical, outlaw soybean oil….

    2. Eh, partially-hydrogenated oil really is bad for you….

      1. I am glad potato chips are now good for you. We will be seeing healthy, active kids soon.

      2. Fuck you, I am a grown-ass man and I will decide what and how much shit, as bad or as good as it may be, that I will shove down my pie hole or not. Thank you very much, Asshole.

        1. Calm down, dude.

      3. Isn’t that for every person to decide for themselves? I appreciate the advice, but fuck you for the prohibition.

        1. Eh, this is an edge case that doesn’t excite me. Partially-hydrogenated oil really is a health hazard, directly correlated with heart disease. There’s basically nothing to recommend it beyond cheapness and convenience for packaged food makers. I am not one to support bans on everything “bad,” but I also don’t want canners adding copper to canned peas to make them green. Trans fats are almost that bad.

          One irony is that the use of trans fats was increased by health crusaders who felt that animal fats were bad for you. Maybe McDonald’s will go back to cooking their fries in beef tallow. They were better back then.

    3. They should use lard.

      1. Grandma Utz chips are cooked in lard. They’re good.

  41. In a sane world, academic institutions would be completely divorced from running a state subsidized farm team system for the NFL.

  42. This application is really good and very easy to use because you can never get an app which streams way of the latest and even the oldest videos. showbox

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