Donald Trump

Nick Gillespie To Talk Trump, Hillary, Free Trade on Bill Maher's Real Time on Friday

Other guests include Ann Coulter, Dan Savage, and Bryan Cranston.

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Seinfeld screen cap

The last time I was on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, things got a little…heated between me and Rachel Maddow. Good times.

This Friday, I'm set to appear with anti-Mexican right-wing best-seller and over-the-top Trumpina Ann Coulter; progressive Hillarian and path-breaking sex-advice-columnist Dan Savage; and the great actor Bryan Cranston, best-known as Walter White in Breaking Bad and the father in Malcolm in the Middle, but forever beloved by me as Tim Whatley, the religiously promiscuous dentist on Seinfeld.

Though the final topics are subject to change, we'll be talking about Donald Trump's big win, why Hillary Clinton is also terrible (well, at least I will), and how the hell both Dems and Reps are now officially against free trade.

Prediction: Another episode as…heated as a Bikram Yoga studio, but with a lot more cursing.

The show airs at 10 P.M. ET on HBO and then several more times over the weekend. 

Go here details.

Matt Welch was on Real Time last fall, talking Obamacare, guns, and more. Check out this segment:

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  1. Nick, where’s the prank proof? Come on, he needs something just for being late on the links and no alt-text skills.

  2. Who can afford HBO in this economy? I will vote for anyone who promises free HBO.

    1. Not until they bring back Rust and Marty.

    2. I could afford HBO if I wasn’t addicted to eating gyro.

  3. Nick, if you don’t wear a sombrero and a Make America Great Again t-shirt, and drink from a giant bottle of tequila while on the set, you’re a fucking pussy.

    1. I hope he goes after Coulter for being a Trump fan-boy.

      The only reason people are talking about her at all anymore is because they’re calling her a sell out for Trump.

      Where’s that Red State link from the other day?

      1. He should just do what I said above and say ‘Ann, you’re a fucking giraffe and your mother smells of hamster berries!’. I mean the entire political universe has become a parody of itself. We’re living in that movie Idiocracy. The matrix is real and the machines have a hell of a sense of humor.

      2. I couldn’t find the link I was thinking of, but if you look at this search:

        http://www.redstate.com/search/ann+coulter

        They’re talking about Ann Coulter over at RedState like she eats people’s children.

        Headlines include:

        “Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, & Adolph Hitler”

        “Ann Coulter: The “C” stands for Crap-Ass”

        “Ann Coulter Channels Margaret Sanger”

        I’d love to see somebody on a mainline show go after Coulter for not really being a conservative–according to conservatives.

        We were never so mean to Weigel.

        1. Do you have any proof that Ann Coulter does not eat children?

          1. “Do you have any proof that Ann Coulter does not eat children?”

            Yes, children are high in estrogen, and Coulter is clearly deficient.

  4. Gillespie and Coulter are always fun in the same room.

    I bet Rachel Madcow has standing orders with Maher not to invite Gillespie to the same show she’s on anymore.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZcGSfwpdd8

    1. Lol, Nick skewered her… ewwww!

      1. He really bent her over. *pukes

      2. Holy crap, these people lack any self-awareness whatsoever. I always come back to the same answer to the question of “who do you hate more, liberals or conservatives”? Whoever I heard speak last. So right now I hate the liberals more.

      1. That was good, too!

        MAYOR JOHN FETTERMAN, (D -BRADDOCK, PENNSYLVANIA): “I’m the mayor of the poorest town in Pennsylvania.”

        GILLESPIE: “Well, you must be very proud.”

        KEN SHULTZ: LO freakin’ L!

        When Nick said that, you got the felling the mayor never imagined that someone might connect him being the mayor to it being the poorest town in Pennsylvania–or that bragging about being poor might be a problem, or that . . .

        It was life imitating Ayn Rand in at least five different ways.

        1. This is why no one fears libertarians. Nick should have said fuck outside and just got up right there and smacked him upside the head. He probably would have cried like a little baby. Although, judging by the size of the brain impaired beast, that might have went badly for Nick. But still, more entertainment for us! Isn’t that what matters?

      2. Having said that, I rush to point out that Fetterman and I had a long conversation after the show about Norman Borlaug, the father of the Green Revolution who won the Nobel Peace Prize for feeding billions of people. Fetterman read Ron Bailey’s great 2000 interview with Borlaug–in fact, he was well-acquainted with us and libertarian thought more generally. He’s running for Senate in PA as a prog Democrat, which means he shares more than a few values and policy ideas with libertarians and is probably closer to the modal Reason reader (and employee!) than either Hillary or a so-con Republican.

        1. as a prog Democrat, which means he shares more than a few values and policy ideas with libertarians

          What does that mean, Nick? You mean he shares some social issue values with libertarians? I don’t know too many progs that share any libertarian values outside of legalizing cannabis and not even all of them are for that.

          1. Yeah, i would love to know what those values are.

          2. as a prog Democrat, which means he shares more than a few values and policy ideas with libertarians

            Can’t tell if serious

        2. From his Wikipedia page: ” He has made equality, environmental protection, gay rights, immigration and marijuana legalization as major campaign issues. Fetterman is a self-described democratic socialist.[1]”

          Meh. I stil love you though, Nick.
          *mails Gillespie panties*

          1. lololololo!

        3. Interesting. Thanks for sharing that, Nick.

          1. It’s exactly what I’ve been telling you people all these years.

            1. I thought you’ve been saying you’re the only pure libertarian… now I’m confused.

              1. I don’t identify as a libertarian. Those guys are fags.

    2. Rachel Madcow, what a self-parody. And who the hell names their son Rachel anyway?

      1. Parents of Skid Row bassists.

  5. Nick, I’ve been told that when you sit down at the Maher table and look around, if you can’t find the token crackpot, the crackpot is you.

    1. I thought it was always Maher. Or is he the token unfunny comic.

    2. I can spot the crackpot right away, and he’s got long blonde hair.

      1. That’s a good point I missed. With Ann Coulter, the crackpot is obvious.

  6. Wow, watching this video, you realize how much has changed just since October.

  7. but forever beloved by me as Tim Whatley, the religiously promiscuous dentist on Seinfeld

    Cranston’s best role was clearly Snizard on Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

  8. Nick, you need to ask Bill Maher if we really need so many cable shows and channels while children in this country are starving.

  9. I’m afraid my opinion of Cranston is in danger of being changed in a bad way. Isn’t he a progressive?

    1. That requires you to watch Bill fuckin’ Maher’s program.

      My conception of Heisenberg shall remain unchanged.

      1. Sort of a Cranston Uncertainty Principle, you might say?

    2. He made a movie about Dalton Trumbo, and he starred in a play about LBJ getting the Civil Rights Act through Congress. My assumption is he leans in that direction. However, much like my millennial friend MJ Green, I choose to not know any more about the man’s politics.

  10. So who’s in the nut chair?

  11. Will Princess Aura be there like on the 2015 show?

  12. I don’t mean to be a party pooper, but hopes of a Hillary indictment may be coming to a close:

    (CNN)Some of Hillary Clinton’s closest aides, including her longtime adviser Huma Abedin, have provided interviews to federal investigators, as the FBI probe into the security of her private email server nears completion, U.S. officials briefed on the investigation tell CNN. The investigation is still ongoing, but so far investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say.

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/05/…..index.html

    1. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that mens rea is dead in this country.

    2. hopes of a Hillary indictment may be coming to a close:

      Gee, where’s my shocked face.

    3. There was never any hope of Hillary being indicted while a Democrat is in the White House. We’re making fun of Brazil for corruption and we’re worse, at least their corrupt party members are being kicked out of office and even going to jail. The only thing that corruption gets you here is more friends in DC and probably at least a cabinet position in the next administration.

    4. investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say.

      Yeah, that’s not what criminal negligence means. I don’t think she’s getting indicted either (thought I’m hoping some underling gets thrown to the wolves) but if that’s the case it won’t be because the DoJ is correctly reading the law.

      1. “US Officials” is kinda vague. Notice they don’t say “Justice Department”.

    5. The longer the Hillary email drags out, the higher the chances of an indictment. If the FBI was just going to sweep it under the rug, they’d have done it months ago.

  13. Can Maher get his tongue any further up Tyson’s arse before the show even starts?

    1. Well, if his tongue is up someone’s ass, it makes it that much more difficult for him to spout his inanity.

  14. The show airs at 10 P.M. ET on HBO and then several more times over the weekend.

    BTW, I’ll be playing Overwatch, so no can do.

    1. I was just looking at that. Are you playing the beta? It’s not released until the 9th, right?

      1. Correct. Free, open beta started last night.

        1. How is it? I’m watching some Youtube of the PC version right now…

          1. Looks sort of Borderlandish.

            1. It has much more in common with Team Fortress 2 than it does with Borderlands. It’s team-based PvP with a big cast of characters that play very differently and contribute different roles to the team.

              1. Ah, so it’s all MMO and PvP?

                I think I’ll just pass and wait for No Man’s Sky.

                1. Yes it’s all PvP, but there’s no MMO component. Basically you (or you and friends you group up with) get put on a team and go into a match on one of many maps. All the maps are objective-based (there’s no “deathmatch” mode of any kind), generally based around capturing a specific area of the map that the other team is protecting or trying to escort a moving payload from point A to point B, and the teams switch off playing offense and defense. You choose your character at the start of the match but you can swap to a different character during the match at any time by going back to the spawn point (or dying).

                  An average game is about ten minutes, I’d say, so it’s great for just jumping in and blasting stuff when you’ve got a few minutes to kill without feeling like a whole investment.

                  1. Ok, I see, it’s coop. I do like coop when I can get my friends to play, but I’m mostly a single player fan since my gamer friends and I all work a lot and it’s hard to get time for it. Also, most of them want to play BF4 all the time, it’s ok, meh.

                    Ten minutes? Shit, I’m used to 100+ hour games. I guess I’m into RPGs and detail. I have 74 hours now in Rebel Galaxy, playing in Nvidia surround at 4K on 3 monitors. It’s so beautiful, I’m all emotional.

                  2. How is it for character customization? Should I just stick with TF2 for all my hat collecting OCD?

                    1. It’s not quite as balls-out as TF2, probably on account of how new it is. There are skins, voice lines, emotes, lots of stuff like that to unlock for all of the characters. All cosmetic, none of the unlockables have a practical effect in-game. It’s not something you really *work for*, though. Every few matches you level up and get a free box that has some random goodies in it, or might have a small amount of in-game currency that you can use to buy a particular goody if you really want it.

                      Currently there’s nothing in-game that can be bought with real-world money, I don’t know if that will change when the game officially releases. Blizzard has said that releases of actual gameplay stuff (i.e. new characters and maps) will all be free to anyone who has the game.

            2. Only played it an hour last night. It’s good, fast paced with a decent variety of specializations and abilities. Looks like it’ll provide a lot of fun in the Reynolds household.

              1. Looks like it’ll provide a lot of fun in the Reynolds household.

                The Reynolds Household consists of Paul and his lavish collection of right-footed, open-toed women’s shoes.

  15. Lord that panel is all over the place. Nick’s the only sane one.

    1. The link in the thread above tells it all when Nick calls them out on being hyper-partisan hacks. Republicans baaaddddd, Democrats gooooodddd. That’s all there is to it, sheep gotta sheep.

  16. I think Nick’s appearances there are one of the few things that could make that show watchable.
    Now I always associate Rachel Maddow with the term “Rabid Raccoon Rachel” … thanks youtube.

  17. Is he going to bitch about how anyone who could support progressive policies is a Democratic hack? That’s some honest argument you make there, paid off Koch Brother stooge!

    1. Shorter AS: “Blah, blah, blah. Woof! Woof!”

      1. We need a reasonable addition that turns his posts into a gif of Hillary going “arf, arf, arf!”

      2. +1 jimi hendrix

    2. Wow, Koch brothers. That was so original. Nobel prize candidate, anyone?

      1. I like to point out the obvious. Anyone that complains about the media being liberal who is getting paid by conservatives is pretty much full of shit.

        1. You probably wouldn’t know the obvious if it smacked you upside the head. The media is mostly ‘leftist’, except for Fox, which is the flip side of the coin for people like you who cannot figure this stuff out. There are no liberals, mmkay? Except for the ones you’re talking to right now, we’re called libertarians. Have you recovered from 1960 yet, or are you currently attending public school?

    3. Adm. Randolph: Try one of these Jamaican cigars, Ambassador. They’re pretty good.
      Ambassador de Sadesky: Thank you, no. I do not support the work of imperialist stooges.
      Adm. Randolph: Oh, only commie stooges, huh?

  18. Donald Trump is apparently considering Democrats as his Vice Presidential running mate.

    http://www.wsj.com/articles/be…..1462483601

    You might think that would turn off a lot of Republicans at the convention, but they’re bound to vote for him on the first ballot. So, who care what they think?

    Who do you guys imagine a Democrat on the Trump ticket might be?

    I think Terry McAuliffe, the Governor of Virginia, is term limited and out on his ass come 2017.

    If it’s a governor from either the Northeast or an important swing state, he’d get both in Tom Wolfe, the Democrat Governor of Pennsylvania.

    Otherwise, maybe Gina Raimondo, Governor of Rhode Island? Probably political suicide for her.

    Trump picking Sanders as his running mate would be a genius move. Trump has already destroyed the Republican Party–why not tear the Democratic Party in half, too? If a third of the Sanders voters voted for Trump against Clinton, Trump might sail into the White House.

    1. Biden. For the lulz!

      1. But wait… that’s gonna totally kill his anti-establishment … ladies and gentlemen, I’ve figured it out… Trump must be really smart to have figured this out before me. Trump VP is…. THE BERNINATOR! BERN THE VILLAGE, BERN THE PEASANTS, BERN, BERN, BERN!!!

        1. Seriously, what if the establishment, judging the fury of the proletariat wrath against their graft and corruption, came up with the ultimate scheme. They run an anti-establishment figure on both the extreme left and the extreme right. Once they’ve concluded it’s working, they see which one wins their parties nomination. They run the winner for that party as POTUS and the runner-up of the other party as VP. Who could defeat that ticket?

      2. I’m still betting on Biden being the Dem nom come November – Trump’ll pick Al Gore.

        1. Killed by death. I miss Lemmy.

    2. Jim Webb

    3. Webb.

    4. OPRAH OR NOTHING!!

      “Who cares?! No one is awesome as me. I pick my hot daughter, she can be vice. The Vice does nothing! Almost nothing anyway. I mean seriously? Who voted for a vice? Pathetic.”

  19. Cranston was best as Ericsson on “Babylon 5”.

  20. OK, in case you missed it the last time I posted it, here is the latest in the Epic Rap Battles of History series.

    J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin

    “You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack
    You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!”

  21. Maher’s show is the only political discussion show that lets right and left guests say anything they want and confront each other live for an extended period of time.

    It is too bad you Peanuts are so opposed to actual constructive confrontation. If you aren’t and actually like Real Time then I apologize.

    1. You are probably fan of 1991’s Pizza Man, aren’t you?

      1. No, but I like Firing Line.

        1. Reb Brown and prime Shannon Tweed? I now respect you.

        2. I used to watch Firing Line. Firing Line was a friend of mine. Real Time is no Firing Line.

        3. Do you think Firing Line would feature someone who provides proof on making good on their bets?

          1. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP!

            PWND

    2. Well, insofar as when anyone on the left utters “Bernie Sanders” 100% of the audience erupts into uncontrollable applause.

      1. Fuck the audience. There is no audience vote ‘American Idol’ style.

        There is just a dearth of live uncensored unedited political debate.

        Maher has it. No one else does.

        1. How much will you donate to Reason via money order if Gillespie gives the Maher crowd the middle finger, like Hitchens did?

            1. Yeah. Wasn’t he making the argument that more bombs should be dropped on the heads of Iraqis at the time? It wasn’t his finest moment, methinks.

          1. I am good for $20 if Nick does that.

        2. There’s quite a dearth of proving one made good on their bets, too.

    3. Maher’s show is the only political discussion show that lets right and left guests say anything they want and confront each other live for an extended period of time.

      Yeah, except for the hated Fox News, you ignorant slut.

      1. All two minute grossly edited shit-bites.

        Your style, pal.

        You been HANNITIZED! Admit it!

        1. I can’t stand Hannity, you little dickweed. Have you ever watched Kennedy or Stossel? Of course not, leftists like you wouldn’t watch that stuff.

          1. They’re on FBN – not Fox News Channel.

            Stossel may be on FNC on Sunday night 11pm when no one watches.

            1. What channel is the proof that you paid your bet on?

            2. Durr, PB, everyone knows what channels they’re on and the times. Tell us how they’re all biased compared to your currently beloved leftist, head up someone’s ass Maher?

        2. Hey shrike! Have you seen your libertarian idol’s critique of Scalia?

        3. Do any of those “two minute grossly edited shit-bites” feature evidence that you paid your bet?

    4. constructive

      You don’t know what this word means, Weigel.

    5. Wrong. If you think right-wingers who brought us the Iraq War and put hundreds of thousands of non-violent drug offenders in jail are assholes and say so, you’re a corrupt lackey for the Democrats.

      Bill Maher is so biased against warmongers and drug warriors. Why can’t he be biased against people who get Welfare benefits and Unemployment Insurance. That’s what makes a true libertarian.

      1. No one here thinks Maher is a corrupt lackey, just that he’s about as sharp as your smug, overly political, buffoonish uncle at family get-togethers.

      2. If you think right-wingers who brought us the Iraq War and put hundreds of thousands of non-violent drug offenders in jail

        You meant neocons, right? Neocons like Hillary? Do you ever want to learn things in your life or do you want to remain ignorant? So what is it?

        And why has Obama not ended the WOD or scaled back the wars? No dishonest answers here, because Republicans wouldn’t let him is not a viable answer. Come on, you can try? Go ahead, make an even bigger fool of yourself.

      3. Oh boy, Maher getting an apologia from American Shitheel…Maher must be libertarian!

      4. Fuck off, actual racist.

    6. Are you a fan of proving you make good on your bets?

    7. The cackle of the crowd drowns out any non-liberal talking point.

  22. Prediction: Coulter and Savage will try to one-up each other for the outrageous soundbite of the night, while Nick smiles and Cranston looks uncomfortable.

  23. Goddamn, when the Bush crime family won’t endorse you after wrapping up the GOP nomination that means you are a fucking low life for real.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/bu…..ald-trump/

    Former Presidents George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush are not planning to endorse Donald Trump for president, their spokesmen said Wednesday.

    “President Bush does not plan to participate in or comment on the presidential campaign,” the younger Bush’s spokesman Freddy Ford said in a statement.

    His father feels similarly.

    1. Are you still on Bush, after 8 years of your master’s incompetecne and crimes, you little shit weasel? Get over it and start licking those shillcankles, you loser.

      1. I am actually praising them this time, you TEAM RED! lickspittle.

        They spurned The Donald and told him to go to hell.

        1. So you’re a Trump supporter? Is that right?

          No libertarian could ever vote for Trump or Hillary.

          At least I’m honest and don’t pretend to be something I’m not.

        2. THE GOP BIGSHITS ALREADY DECIDED JEB IS THE NOMINEE

          1. Yes they did. And yes you are quoting me accurately.

            The bigshits lost control of the insane asylum this time.

            1. ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS ANY KIND OF SOCIAL INEQUALITY IS A RIGHT WINGER BY DEFINITION

              I LEARNED THAT ON WIKIPEDIA

              1. ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO AMELIORATE INCOME INEQUALITY THROUGH TAX POLICY IS A STALINIST. I LEARNED THIS AT REASON.COM.

                1. ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO AMELIORATE INCOME INEQUALITY THROUGH TAX POLICY LEGISLATED THEFT IS A STALINIST

                  FIFY. And, you didn’t learn shit. Doubt you have the capacity to do so, either.

                2. ANYBODY THAT THINKS ASIAN IMMIGRANTS ARE INCAPABLE OF WRITING IN PLAIN ENGLISH IS A RACIST

            2. BILL MAHER IS A LIBERTARIAN BECAUSE OF AN ARTICLE HE WROTE FOR PLAYBOY IN THE 1990S

              1. Well, no one has ever scored 100 on the LP Purity Test.

                1. You haven’t scored 100 on the “Prove That You Paid Your Bet” Test either.

            3. Have you noticed the sixth link in the grey bar up top, Palin’s Buttplug?

        3. Have you found the donation link yet, Palin’s Buttplug?

    2. Former Presidents George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush are not planning to endorse Donald Trump for president, their spokesmen said Wednesday.

      Huh, Trump just went up 5 points in the polls.

    3. At least the Bush Crime Family provides proof that they settled their wagers.

  24. In case I missed it: Cops inform lawyer she has the right to remain silent – after arresting her for remaining silent

    She claims a supervisor, Trooper James Butler, later entered the cell to ask her what had happened.

    “I said, ‘Well, the trooper arrested me for not answering his questions,'” Musarra told NJ Advance Media. “And the supervisor indicated (to me) that was obstruction.”

    New Jersey’s obstruction statute defines the criminal act as impeding law enforcement through “flight, intimidation, force, violence, or physical interference or obstacle, or by means of any independently unlawful act.”

    Musarra said Butler then left to review the dashboard camera footage. After about 30 minutes, she claims, he returned and told her “a mistake was made, and to chalk it up to training, and that (Stazzone) was just a rookie.”

    1. And if she *had* answered the questions, the cop would tell the court she testified voluntarily.

      1. I mean confessed voluntarily.

        1. Think of the great number of “voluntary” confessions and “voluntary consent” to searches.

          They were volunteering not to be arrested or beaten.

      2. Everybody should know by now when the cop asks you “Do you know why I pulled you over?” he’s not just making conversation – he’s trying to get you to admit that you were breaking the law and that you know you were breaking the law. “No, sir, I have no idea why you pulled me over” with a puzzled look on your face is the proper response. But notice he’s going to continue asking you questions after that, but they’re going to be the “just making conversation” sort of rhetorical questions that don’t really sound like questions and it’s easy to not pay attention to the fact that they are indeed questions. “You don’t think maybe you were going a little fast coming over the hill back there?” said in the “just between us guys” wink-and-a-nudge tone of voice sort of thing. Like he’s your buddy and he’s pretty impressed by your sweet ride and how fast it can fly. “Mind if I take a look around inside your car there?” as if it’s just a polite way of letting you know he’s going to poke around in your car and he’s not really asking if he can look around – like a houseguest asking “You mind if I use your bathroom?”. Of course you’re not going to say no to something that’s not really a question but just a mannered politeness. You’re just a couple of guys there having a casual conversation, but only one of you has a gun and a badge and the authority to legally – and forcefully if need be – kidnap the other.

        1. Answer questions about your identity honestly and provide your paperwork as legally required, but do not answer “No” to the question “Do you know why I pulled you over?” because that might be construed as lying to an officer. It is the same as “when did you stop beating your wife?” and ought to be illegal for them to ask. Either remain silent or politely refuse to answer. Same with questions about what you’re doing or where you’re going. The only exception would be if you are in a legitimate emergency, although that’s not a guarantee that you’ll get out of the ticket. You are not one of the King’s Men, after all.

  25. Who will be Hillary’s VP, McCain or Graham? What is it, buttpig? I know you would love either of them. What about a threesome? You’ll be in your bunk, right?

  26. Boooring

  27. Well, I’m going to read The Art of the Deal. It finally came in from the library.

    I was going to make a joke about how if Trump is Hitler, The Art of the Deal is Mein Kampf.

    But it seems that Hitler-storian Peter Ross Range beat me to it, and I don’t think he’s joking.

    “The Donald is no genocidal warmonger, but” etc.

    1. We don’t know for sure that Peter Ross Range fucks children, but…

  28. OK someone help me search through the archives because I am reasonably [drink] certain last time we offered Nick a bounty for kicking Maher in the nuts during the show. I totally believe we need to get him to do this. It’s the Libertarian moment for fuck’s sakes.

    1. Now, don’t quote me, but I don’t think offering a bounty for an assault and battery is technically legal.

      1. Don’t fucking marginalize my suffering Notorious.

  29. FBI tips hand on Hil-Dogs email nontroversey:

    (CNN)Some of Hillary Clinton’s closest aides, including her longtime adviser Huma Abedin, have provided interviews to federal investigators, as the FBI probe into the security of her private email server nears completion, U.S. officials briefed on the investigation tell CNN. The investigation is still ongoing, but so far investigators haven’t found evidence to prove that Clinton willfully violated the law the U.S. officials say.

    Awww, too bad. You TEAM RED! types must be so disappoint.

    Now you have to discuss issues instead.

    1. Does it legally matter whether she willfully violated the law? And what evidence would you find of that anyway, an email from her saying “hey I know this is totes illegal, but let’s send this classified data to my server anyway.”

    2. Don’t you get bored of trolling nonstop? I know you’re a disgusting slob and a repulsive personality to everyone around you, but surely you can find some more fulfilling way to spend your time. Gambling away your money, perhaps?

      1. It’s not gambling if you don’t pay.

        1. I don’t think the SEC will let him get away with abstaining.

          I have the feeling Buttplug hates himself even more than anyone else here hates him.

      2. You’re a dumbass. I care about legal drugs, legal prostitution, legal everything, lower deficits, non intervention, free trade, secularism, etc.

        I escaped the GOP plantation and won’t ever be captured again. So fuck you Team RED! types. I am not captured by your lies.

        1. Yet you like Bill Maher, who says there is no constitutional right to own a gun, and refers to bird hunting as murder.

          1. I like Bill Maher because he is funny, he hates religion like I do, and he has an entertaining pro-drug show.

            I own guns I won’t give up – which is my right.

            1. Does Bill Maher hate proving he made good on his bets, too?

        2. I’m not sure how this addressed my question at all, except unintentionally/indirectly.

          Sad life you live, you fat fuck. I pity you.

          1. He is just boring. I mean, that crazy fucker AdditionMyth is crazy, but even he is fun sometimes.

            1. That’s the problem. He’s not even so effective as a troll. Hihn and Cytotoxic have actually inflamed me at times? they’re so unbearably smug? but Buttplug is just pitiful. Just feckless through and through.

              1. Hihn and Cytotoxic have actually inflamed me at times

                Pics?

                1. I anticipated that joke, Crusty!

        3. Do you care about proving you made good on your bets, Palin’s Buttplug?

          1. No, I don’t. Matt Welch sent me a gift subscription.

            1. That’s called “subscribing” not “donating”.

      3. Sometimes he does, and then turns into his alter and more obnoxious ego, Cytotoxic, AKA Tulpa.

        1. Dubious

          I mean besides that we’re all Tulpa

          1. We’re all obviously Trumpkins, but we’re not all obviously Tulpa judging by the lack of 100% of threads not being shitted up by obnoxious stupid.

    3. The standard in 18USC793(f) isn’t intent, it’s negligence. Doesn’t surprise me that the distinction is lost on a moron such as yourself.

      1. There’s an email in which Hillary directs an underling to remove the classified markings from a document and send it via insecure means. How is that not a smoking gun?

    4. If you can’t trust an anonymous source as reported by what wags used to call the Clinton News Network, who can you trust?

        1. Certainly not someone who can’t show they paid back their bets.

    5. Is the proof that you made good on your bet in Hilldawg’s missing emails?

  30. Do Millennials understand Seinfeld references?

    1. They don’t watch it; they find the show problematic because known racist Michael Richards was on it.

      1. I do but it could definitely be improved. For example, the characters aren’t really very good people. I think they should behave less offensively and engage in more social justice work. Also, it needs more people of color. #SeinfeldSoJewy

        1. I know you’re being sarcastic, but I think that was Larry David’s idea behind the widely criticized series finale: “Hey, these main characters are nasty people in a lot of ways. The final episode should acknowledge that.”

          Unfortunately it didn’t work that well. Maybe he should have gone with the conventional “Jerry and Elaine get married” ending. *barf*

          1. It definitely was. I thought the premise of the finale was really satisfying, just that it wasn’t executed so well. (Flashbacks. The courtroom context [even if it gave us lots of Jackie Chiles, who is great]. Repeated jokes and catchphrases.) Ending with them all in prison and Jerry doing standup while in a jumpsuit is pretty inspired, though. I love that.

            1. But it wasn’t unwatchable, most sitcom finales aren’t that exceptional ? are just somewhat lazy sops to the fans, and so what??, and the show’s last season wasn’t even that great in total. People way overstate the finale’s awfulness.

            2. Yep, Jackie Chiles is easily in the top tier of supporting characters the show ever had.

              Plus he’s a man of color, so, you know, more diversity.

              1. This one is my favorite of all the great Frank Costanza moments.

  31. Cosmologically-challenged, Maher’s visage somehow avoids sliding off his facial scaffolding and floating like a plucky peach nebula into the whirling tendrils of a zinging tempest flinging thousands of pensive puppies with odd-colored and overly-tight collars into moldy caves and damp basements riddled with the tormented sighs of fluky guilt-ridden imaginations gingerly limping through piles of smelly socks and broken grandfather clocks.

    1. I want some, I really do. You CIS privilged shitlord. And god bless you.

    2. *swoon*

    3. Huh, I’ve always gotten the impression that underneath Maher’s ill-fitting man-flesh suit is something disconcertingly not-quite-reptilian, not-quite-arthropodial – something slick and slimy that has way too many legs and a horrifingly large number of teeth.

  32. Twat Prick Twat Prick, Twatty Twat Twat Prick, Prick Prick Prick.

  33. You fucking TEAM RED! assholes are hilarious.

    I praise classical liberals and Libertarianism all the time yet often criticize CONSERVATISM.

    And you all hate me for that.

    And then you hate it when I call you fuckstains “TEAM RED”? You spend all your time DEFENDING Team Red!

    1. I only praise people who show some proof of paying their bets.

    2. Hillary can’t win. Sorry, buttstain, but Obama’s over. Get a new life.

      1. I also find it beyond hilarious that buttstain cannot even admit his love for Hillary. Why are you so ashamed? Shouldn’t you be proud while you’re licking those cankles?

      2. Wrong. Trump can’t win.

        1. Neither Trump nor Hillary can win.

          1. So it’s finally Nader’s year, huh? He’s still alive right?

    3. Oh, Buttplug 🙁 Here, I’m giving you some of the attention you crave. I hope things improve for you and you can become a more pleasant person, maybe even make a friend or two.

      1. Giving the Buttplug attention is my job.

        1. Did he offer you some head for the money he owes you yet?

          1. Buttplug would have to pull itself out of Palin’s ass first.

            1. He would have to get his head out of Hillary’s ass to see where he’s aiming first.

      2. Buttstain is actually more pleansant than his fellow tollusks, Tupla and Cytotoxic. He’s just sad and maybe needs to adopt a kitty or something.

        1. Well, when you set the bar that low….

          Idk if he can afford a kitty anymore, even a $20 one. Maybe he could adopt a stray, rabid one.

    4. I can’t hear you with all that ‘squelching, squelching’ sound.

  34. A day without shriek is like a sunny day that’s perfect and wonderful.

    1. Full of rainbows and smiles and the warm embrace of a cold, hard woman.

  35. I love the fact that the GOP is disintegrating right in front of you TEAM RED! assholes by nominating The Donald as your lord and saviour.

    1. Do you think the Donald makes good on his bets, Buttplug?

  36. And I know that most of you fucking Peanuts wanted the clearly better candidate (Rand Paul) as your TEAM RED! nominee.

    I give you credit for that.

    But I laugh at your sheer ignorance in thinking that the GOP was some sort of vessel for liberty!

    The GOP????? Fucking Aborto-Freak Chris-Fag Fascists?

    I’m sorry to revert back to my 2008-2010 message of CLASSICAL LIBERALISM AND SECULARISM but you Team Red jack-offs had this one Trump a coming.

    1. Dude. Take your meds.

    2. Will that message include proof you paid your bet?

    3. No one here thinks the GOP is a vessel of liberty, you dumb fucking retard. But you already knew that.

      This is the ButtStain Polka:

      What’s a mattah you?

      You’re not a Democrat.

      You don’t believe a me.

      You’re a big libertarian.

      Shut up a your face.

      Or I’ll call the gestapo.

    4. Tsk, tsk, I warned you about snorting too much cocaine. Your coke-addled brain is causing you to hallucinate; there are no Team Red apparatchiks here.

      1. Lies. Gilmore just below is touting The Donald.

        Soave, Hyperion – big Trumpettes.

        1. LOL. Say something bad about Hillary, neocon. Say it, or you lick Trump ballz. You lick Trump ballz? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

        2. Nah, dude. They, like the rest of us, just don’t like you.

        3. Gilmore just below is touting The Donald.

          Sex, lies and videotape.

    5. (I know this has been explained to you, but being a stupid person you are incapable of learning. So I post this for the benefit of everyone but you.)

      As a general rule, Republicans give lip-service to economic liberty while being openly hostile to personal liberty, while Democrats give lip-service to personal liberty while being openly hostile to economic liberty.

      So many libertarians hold their nose and vote for the guys who give lip-service to economic liberty.

      In this case both of the major candidates are openly hostile to economic liberty. I don’t know about anyone else, but refuse to vote for either of them.

      1. Neither deserve your vote then. Fine.

        Just don’t tell me Republicans care about “economic liberty” when they create monster federal programs like DHS, TSA, NCLB, McCain Feingold, TARP, free housing, Medicare Welfare Part D and so on just since 2002.

        I don’t care if a select number of Dems voted for them – they were passed with a GOP POTUS and Congress.

        1. give lip service

          Check out those I-Can-Read books, Peanut Butter.

        2. (I know this has been explained to you, but being a stupid person you are incapable of learning. So I post this for the benefit of everyone but you.)

          1. Quit telling me that the party that created all those monster federal programs cares about “economic liberty”!

            Just fucking stop lying.

            Or being that gullible.

            You are clearly one of the two.

            1. *calls up shrike’s family; prepares an intervention*

            2. What part of “give lip-service” do you not understand?

              Here. Let me help you out.

              Lip service is an idiom meaning (chiefly when following ‘to pay’ ) ‘giving approval or support insincerely’

              Hope that helps.

        3. Someone who doesn’t pay their bets doesn’t deserve my vote? even for dogcatcher.

        4. Neither deserve your vote then. Fine.

          Nobody deserves my vote. They may earn it, but nobody deserves it. I hate that word.

        5. Agree with you here but Obamacare will eventually cost more than all those combined. You are full of shit on free housing and McC/F. Both parties suck, asshat, and as far as the suck they both have it in spades.

  37. I just read Ilya Somin’s piece @ the WaPo saying “Hillary is the Lesser Evil” and frankly i think its one of the most idiotic things i’ve ever read to date re: the candidates.

    And its from a guy i’d normally give enormous benefit of the doubt to. Its just absurd.

    It basically relies on taking the very-worst examples of Trump rhetoric… and extending them in a logic-defying feat of imagination into some “Future Dystopian Policies” …

    Like “Deporting Millions”…. “massacring foreign civilians en masse”… “implementing national discrimination against Muslims” etc.

    which… not only are they facially absurd… (because even if you believed his bullshit rhetoric, they’d still need an equally-crazy congress to go along with him)…..but the exercise requires ignoring the fact that almost everything Donald has ever proposed? He’s flipped on a dime and proposed the opposite at least once.

    By contrast, he offers the most generous interpretation of hillary’s bullshit campaign rhetoric… also proposing her worst ideas would be STOPPED by a congress which was somehow so compliant to Crazy-Trump…

    His best point is that she might be better on free trade.

    His worst argument is that Trump would end any GOP interest in small-govt, whereas Hillary would keep them “pretending” to oppose it. Like that’s helped at all.

    1. I love that this seems to be the general disposition toward this race, though. Both candidates are so disliked that we’re going to see so many arguments starting with the implicit premise that they’re both evil, then giving sad, deflated, even nigh-disaffected arguments of one being of lesser evil. No HOPE this time. It’s…bizarre.

    2. So, what is your case for Trump?

      Name one libertarian issue he favors please?

      1. I thought of something worthwhile and fulfilling you could do with your time, Buttplug! Take a basic class on rhetoric, and maybe another on logic. It’ll serve you well and maybe cool you off.

      2. Another worthwhile and fulfilling Buttplug could do with its time is proving it paid its bet.

        1. Cain’t prove a negative

          1. Er, cain’t prove a something when that something didn’t happen

            1. Buttplug claims it paid its bet? but I ain’t trustin’ nothin’ that’s been in Palin’s ass.

              1. Glen Rice?

      3. Off the top of my head:

        2nd Amendment rights
        Ending Obamacare
        Reducing regulations

        And while these aren’t purist libertarian positions, I consider them pro-liberty for Americans, though not for foreigners:
        Reducing the need for government surveillance by ending Muslim immigration
        Reducing the need for welfare by deporting illegal immigrants

      4. So, what is your case for Trump?

        Bet-dodging morons like yourself can’t stand him.

      5. So, what is your case for Trump?

        Name one libertarian issue he favors please?

        I can’t make a case for the blowhard, but to answer your second question he has made noises that imply that the war on drug users has failed. Whether or not those noises actually represent some belief that he might act upon as president is a different matter.

    3. Trump is more random and fun than Hillary.

      Who knows what he’d do? Maybe even the right thing if it feels fun to him.

      But this is a guy for whom murder of terrorists’ relatives is an option worth considering – he’d drop it if it didn’t pay, but he’d take it up again if he thought it would work.

      Hillary isn’t very random, you generally know she’s going to be up to no good.

      What I’m trying to say is it’s basically Two-Face versus the Joker.

      1. Incidentally, I’m getting into Art of the Deal, and the word “fun” appears more often in this book than I think it does in Mein Kampf, so there’s a bit of a difference right there.

        1. Is “fun” mentioned as often in Art of the Deal as often as syphilis is mentioned in Mein Kampf?

          1. Strangely, I looked up “Palin’s Buttplug,” and the phrase “as fun as syphilis” came up.

            1. Wait, you’re not Palin’s Buttplug, you’re the guy whose handle mocks Palin’s Buttplug, oh, dear, I’m so sorry.

              1. Will you say an Akathist in remorse?

            2. Yeah, the idea of sharing a buttplug with Palin is probably as fun as syphilis.

        2. Struggles aren’t usually much fun

          1. I know, right?

            But, hey, at least Hitler is a guy you’d like to have a beer with!

            1. not falling for that one!

      2. And this is a guy for whom murder of terrorists’ relatives is an option worth considering standard operating procedure

        1. This could mean very different things.

          1) Abdul the terrorist is killed in Iraq. We find out he’s married to Fatima in Syria, and go and kill her, too.

          2) Abdul the terrorist is at home in Iraq, with Fatima. We blow their house up, when they’re both home.

          Those two things seem very different to me, in both an ethical sense and a practical sense. Do we know for sure which one Trump meant?

          1. Do we know for sure which one Trump meant?

            I’m pretty sure what he meant was “AND OBAMA’S A FUCKING PUSSY!”

            (crowd roars approval)

            full stop.

            Translating his blustering gibberish into theoretical future policy is a waste of time.

            My point was that Obama has in fact murdered the families of many people who MIGHT have been terrorists. But see…. he pretends that he cares! He says that its “tough” on him! He shows his concern.

            the fact is that Trump/Obama would probably do exactly the same things, just that Trump would brag about it and Obama would pretend it was a horrible necessity which should be denounced. Because that’s just what their respective audiences want to hear.

            1. I think this is pretty close…Trump would brag about it and Obama just wants the whole thing ignored.

            2. You are probably correct.

              1. Of course, it also suits partisan purposes to conflate #1 and #2.

  38. Does anybody in the Denver area know of a place what offers DUI classes, but doesn’t really care that much? The last place I checked out really wanted to “help” me, and that’s not what I’m paying for.

    1. DUI classes

      Step 1 = get drunk
      Step 2 = find a car
      Step 3 = pretend the yellow line is a girl and you’re *dancing* with her.

      1. Thank you. That’s kinda like studying for your drug test.

    2. I imagine they’re all similar. Just pick one, show up, and think before you speak. The person will be making notes after, and they goes on your record. Whatever you say will be twisted and exaggerated like a police report. So be mindful.

      1. My comment is based upon DUI classes I had to take in Boulder twenty years ago. Good times. Really. It was the first time I tried pot brownies. Some dude was passing them out before class one day. We laughed a lot.

        1. Ha!

          Mine revolved about how NOT to get CAUGHT again.

          Damn helpful stuff, actually.

    3. DUI classes, but doesn’t really care that much?

      Instructor: Ok, class, listen up! I’m only going to tell you this once: don’t do it again. You heard me. You all have a problem. And your problem is how you are going to occupy your time during the remaining 19 hours and 57 minutes of this state-mandated, court-ordered exercise in bullshit. Ahem. I now have a crossword puzzle to solve, and you have your iThingies or whatever. I took attendance so you’re square with the state. Bathrooms are down the hall, second door to the left.

      1. Yes, that’s the one I’m looking for.

        1. Keep an eye patch hanging from your mirror. When you start seeing double, put it on. Keep in mind that with one eye your depth perception is compromised.

          1. You are a font of wisdom. However, I have a better system: When you start seeing double, drink more until you see triple, then aim for the middle.

            1. I went through this shit in 94. Be very careful on your exit interview, if they don’t like what they hear more classes are in order and the same people will be collecting more of your money and you can’t ge due process.

              They will ask you leading questions to justify further “treatment”. It’s a state approveded racket.

        2. Instructor: Ok, class, listen up! I’m only going to tell you this once: don’t do it again. You heard me. You all have a problem. And your problem is how you are going to occupy your time during the remaining 19 hours and 57 minutes of this state-mandated, court-ordered exercise in bullshit. Ahem. I now have a crossword puzzle to solve, and you have your iThingies or whatever. I took attendance so you’re square with the state. Bathrooms are down the hall, second door to the left.

          Yes, that’s the one I’m looking for.

          Hilarious!

          Sorry, Denver-not laughing at your situation. I just find that convo funny.

          1. No problem. It’s the one down side of moving back here. As long as I was out of state, if I was pulled over, I was just driving without a license, no big deal. In Colorado it’s driving under revocation, which is a very big deal. I should of taken care of it years ago. (sighs, sips whiskey)

        3. I got popped about ten years ago. Had to do one-on-one counseling. Told the guy I’d drink an oil can of Fosters, or two (never more), most nights. He tried more probing questions but I skillfully deflected. After the minimum number of mandated classes he felt that I was fine. The end. I think he was new.

  39. Buttstain’s head is so far up Shillary’s arse that his ears have cankles!

    1. Ever wonder why shrike lobs around “UR ALLL TIEM REDE PEENUTZ!” accusations while defending the Obama administration at every turn and largely remaining silent about Clinton?

  40. OHHH! Look at what the fucking Peanuts are saying…..

    The Buttplug is not one of us! The Buttplug is not TEAM RED! enough!

    Well, what you say is true. I am not TEAM RED! nor will I ever be……

    1. Too bad your mind is so small that it can’t grasp simple concepts like being against your precious Democrats does not equal support for the Republicans.

      When I was in high school I worked at McDonalds with literal retards who were smarter than you.

      1. I am not nor have I ever been a Democrat. Not even close.

        I am a classic liberal and like F. A. Hayek I don’t like conservatism.

        1. *snort*

          1. GIT HIM! HE IS EXCAPING THE GOP PLANTATION!

    2. In case anybody ever thought otherwise, PB is not a Republican. Everybody who is shocked, please put on your shocked faces now. Thank you.

  41. Ann Coulter; progressive Hillarian and path-breaking sex-advice-columnist Dan Savage; and the great actor Bryan Cranston

    Damn, that’s actually an interesting crew.

    You’ve got to get Dan Savage talk about the @*#@ craziness of his being given the Hate-Criminal treatment for his daring to think the word “tranny” could ever be used in a non-slur context …. which i think is similar to how Germaine Greer, Gloria Steinhem, etc. or other Feminist or gay-activist types have been railroaded by the SJW-set for failing to adhere to their strict intersectional dogma.

    1. If only they could destroy each other like the Kilkenny cats but probably it will be more like the Soviet purges – enhancing the power of the nastiest faction.

  42. Isn’t Cranston best known as a communist apologist? Trumbo?

    1. that’s probably an interesting discussion point as well.

    2. have you seen the movie? I havent but am curious if its any good

    3. It says everything that an actor took a starring role in an Oscar-bait picture.

      1. “Go away…Oscar-batin’…”

        1. Now that’s funny

  43. “My God is that good.”

  44. A 12 minute compilation of Hillary’s many, many lies:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BizU-u7RPcY

    1. How the language classes going?

      1. Very well. I really like where I am and what I’m doing, although it does greatly reduce the amount of time I can spend on HnR.

        1. Priorities.

  45. Jerryskids|5.4.16 @ 10:34PM|#

    My misanthropy is the only thing that brings joy to my life!

    I get up every morning and drink my coffee and watch the Parade of Horribles known as the morning news (not for the news itself, just because I find the concept of some idiots chosen specifically for whiteness of teeth and style of hair and perkiness of smiles being the Chosen Ones selected to determine what it is that’s Important For You To Know so fascinatingly ridiculous) and read the first few pages of Genesis and reflect on the implications ( think about it – God created Adam and Eve as his little pet monkeys to wander around the Garden, eating when they got hungry, sleeping when they got tired, basically just wandering around doing nothing without a care in the world or a thought in their heads and then they ate the forbidden fruit, became self-aware and grasped the idea of good and bad and right and wrong and gained free will – became human beings, iow – God kicked their ass out of the Garden because He didn’t want any goddamn thinking rational beasts, He wanted a fucking pet monkey! and how’s that make you feel knowing that God prefers monkeys to your dumb ass?) and then I come here to read a little intelligent conversation.

    And if that don’t depress you and make a misanthrope out of you, well, you’re probably the sort of joyless fuck who wouldn’t even laugh seeing a fat toddler getting run over by a riding lawn-mower.

    1. had to re-post that, I laughed so hard I thought… something clever.

      1. Ha! Someone could make a nice collection of the funniest H&R posts.

    2. “God created Adam and Eve as his little pet monkeys to wander around the Garden, eating when they got hungry, sleeping when they got tired, basically just wandering around doing nothing without a care in the world or a thought in their heads” etc.

      Not really.

      “Just as the Holy Spirit brooded over the waters of the deep in order to bring forth material creation, he broods now over the body of man and brings forth a soul “in the image and likeness of God.” That means he is capable of reason, of appreciating beauty, of communicating through language, of participation in the work of cultivating and caring for the earth, and of free will….

      “…work was a source of pleasure and accomplishment; and all of the human faculties were able to function and flourish to their fullest potential.”

      1. The Fall made work a punishment, Christ redeemed it again, as shown by the life of his legal guardian, St. Joseph:

        “Work was the daily expression of love in the life of the Family of Nazareth. The Gospel specifies the kind of work Joseph did in order to support his family: he was a carpenter. This simple word sums up Joseph’s entire life….If the Family of Nazareth is an example and model for human families, in the order of salvation and holiness, so too, by analogy, is Jesus’ work at the side of Joseph the carpenter. In our own day, the Church has emphasized this by instituting the liturgical memorial of St. Joseph the Worker on May 1. Human work, and especially manual labor, receive special prominence in the Gospel. Along with the humanity of the Son of God, work too has been taken up in the mystery of the Incarnation, and has also been redeemed in a special way. At the workbench where he plied his trade together with Jesus, Joseph brought human work closer to the mystery of the Redemption.”

        1. Tell that to an evangelical Protestant sometime, and be sure to videotape it.

          I apologize in advance for the names you’ll be called.

          1. To be fair, you might get a thoughtful response with no name-calling. Still would be interesting to watch/hear.

  46. The story of adam and eve is a tale of the future of man. The apple from the tree represents knowledge. It represents that man has bitten from the tree of knowledge and can never return to the days of innocence. It is a representation that once man achieves knowlege above all other animals he is on a path. I interpret it as the break from hunter gatherer to agriculture. Once man was free from food insecurity we were free to pursue civilization. This inexorably led us to Donald Trump as the leader of the free world. LOL.

  47. $89 an hour! Seriously I don’t know why more people haven’t tried this, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening?And i get surly a chek of $1260……0 whats awesome is Im working from home so I get more time with my kids.
    Here is what i did

    ——————— http://www.nypost55.com

  48. i thought the guys a has been, hes like a bad disease, ya think ya got rid of it and it shows back up..

  49. Nick you were such a cosmo on Maher. You let savage and Maher walk all over you. Sure Coulter is a fascist but at least she had balls. The only time you stood up was on Libya and then you let Bill “hypocrite” Maher walk all over you. You went there to get support from the crowd rather than advance the cause of liberty who cares if you are booed, bring up freedom of association, call Clinton a chicken hawk, point out that the ‘humanitarian intervention’ sure involved a lot of fucking bombs.

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