School Lunch

Little Girl Detained By Police After Trying to Buy School Lunch with Real $2 Bill

She did nothing wrong. But even if she had, a chicken nugget scam is not a matter for the cops.

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Lunch
Screen shot via ABC 13

There are stupid school discipline stories, and then there's this: a Houston, Texas, public school called the police after a 13-year-old girl attempted to purchase chicken nuggets from the cafeteria using a $2 bill. 

The police took the little girl, Danesiah Neal, to the office and told her she could be in "big trouble" for using counterfeit money. 

But the $2 bill was real, of course. There aren't very many of them but $2s are out there. They constitute perfectly legal tender. 

The police didn't believe it. They called Danesiah's grandmother and insisted the bill was fake, according to ABC 13: 

'Did you give Danesiah a $2 bill for lunch?' " the grandmother, Sharon Kay Joseph, recalled being asked. "He told me it was fake." 

Finally, the mystery was solved: The $2 bill wasn't a fake at all. It was real. 

The bill so old, dating back to 1953, the school's counterfeit pen didn't work on it. 

"He brought me my two dollar bill back," Joseph said. He didn't apologize. "He should have and the school should have because they pulled Danesiah out of lunch and she didn't eat lunch that day because they took her money." 

That's right: the 13-year-old didn't even receive an apology from the authority figures, even though she was ultimately denied lunch that day, according to her grandmother. Grandma also had this to say: "It was very outrageous for them to do it. There was no need for police involvement. They're charging kids like they're adults now." 

This may seem like a small, silly story, but the grandmother has it exactly right: public schools overwhelmingly assume that children's misdeeds represent criminal wrongdoing and should be referred to the police. If little Danesiah had actually been attempting to pass off a fake $2 bill as legal tender, it was the school's job to discipline her, not a matter for the police. And yet law enforcement is routinely brought in to handle the most trivial behavioral disputes in public schools. 

Ironically, while K-12 institutions increasingly refer all disciplinary matters to the police, the trend for colleges is the reverse: universities are now encouraged to handle violent sexual crimes themselves, rather than automatically involve the police. These developments could not possibly be any more backward. When there is serious violence in schools, the police should always be called. When kids are just goofing around, let the school—or the parents—take care of it. 

Updated at 4:30 p.m. on May 5: I initially claimed that the government doesn't print $2 bills anymore. This isn't true: it still issues them.

NEXT: Cop Shoots Barely Injured Cat He Says Was a Threat

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  1. Wasn’t there a Brickbat on this story?

    1. Look, re-posting things that Robby learns from Buzzfeed & the College Fix is hard enough. How far afield do you expect his intrepid reportage to go? Also = did that Brickbat clarify which aspects of the story were Okay and Not Okay? You are dismissing his important value-added contributions.

      1. Sometimes Robby paraphrases Popehat’s Ken White or The Atlantic‘s Conor Friedersdorf*

        (*When Reason contributors crib from Friedersdorf it is 3rd (or 4th)-hand opinion journalism)

        1. This can ALL be fixed by re-issuing the $2-bill with a “Proggy” hero’s face on it! Che Guevara, Stalin, Mao, Marx, Bernie, anyone “Proggy” enough will FIX this issue!

          1. How about Alfred E. Newman, with a “What, Me Worry?” caption below.

  2. this story is queerer than a two dollar bill.

    1. Andy Dick queer? Or Lindsey Graham queer?

      1. This is TEXAS QUEER, which is more queer than all the other queers put together!

        Is actually par for the course in Tech’s Ass, see another recent example…
        http://abc13.com/news/kid-faci…..h/1316075/

  3. But the $2 bill was real, of course. There aren’t very many of them?the government doesn’t issue them, anymore?but $2s are out there. They constitute perfectly legal tender.

    This happened in an institution which prides itself on preparing our young people for adult life.

    1. As an object lesson, it is an excellent preparation.

      1. Double down with free government controlled college to make it ultra plus magnum!

    2. Oh, but doesn’t it just?

    3. Well, it is preparing her. Ignorant cops, overbearing bureaucrats, and massive overcriminalization are all facts of life.

      1. Agreed. She will hopefully learn all the important lessons from this incident.

        1. Libertarian moment.

          1. Just wait, it’s gonna be one of these moments!

            1. Missed it by that much.

                1. +99

                  (think about it)

                  1. Rather, +86.

    4. This little girl learned that government is lousy with idiots who won’t admit when they fuck up. It’s a good thing to know.

      -jcr

  4. The numerous red-blooded racists which infest the commentariat are sure to vigorously defend the authorities’ actions any second now.

    1. Where do you get that?

      1. Irish, yeah, but who else?

          1. Same guy.

    2. A bit of sarcasm, gentlemen. The R-word has been bandied about with surprising frequency around here lately, usually hurled at posters who aren’t explicitly anti-Trump.

      1. poor baby

        1. I just find it annoying, is all.

      2. Rhombus?
        Rape?
        Raptor?
        Reason?
        Rocket Raccoon?

        C’mon, don’t leave us in suspense!

        1. Rigor.

          (Think about it)

        2. Rocket Raccoon is the best.

        3. Rocket Raccoon?

          Those masturbation euphemisms!

        4. It’s Fuck Stupidity, Jr’s new handle, if I’m not mistaken.

          1. Wow. I didn’t think I posted enough to be remembered by anyone.

  5. Amazingly arrogant and evil school officials.

    School officials also systematically trash students’ free speech rights via zero tolerance policies:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2001/05…..93452.html

    “An 11-year-old boy was taken out of his Oldsmar, Fla., elementary school in handcuffs on May 9 for making drawings of weapons. A 14-year-old girl in Harrisburg, Pa., was strip-searched and suspended for two weeks for saying, during a classroom discussion of the Columbine High School massacre, that she could understand how ostracized students might turn homicidal.”

    1. iirc, after the media dust-up settled it turned out the Columbine killers weren’t bullied or ostracized.

    2. Not that I disagree with you, but that article is 15 years old, buddy.

      1. Which shows we’ve done fuck-all about this problem. If anything, we’ve doubled down.

  6. They are using counterfeit detecting pens for school lunches?

    Nothing left to cut.

    1. They are using counterfeit detecting pens for school lunches?

      How much do you think one costs?

  7. The real story should be that she paid for lunch with a collector’s item worth 5 times its face value.

    1. dang, beat me to it.

      1. Yep. No offense to the little girl, but WTF?

    2. It’s cash, therefore drug money and therefore can be seized. She’s lucky she even got it back.

    3. Are they? Seriously. I ask because I was in the grocery store the other day and saw a $2 bill in the register when the girl was giving me change, and asked for it. Then I gave it to my six year old daughter. Then this story came out. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take it back from her. For her safety.

      But are they seriously collector’s items?

      1. Just looked at it, and it’s a 2003. Hardly collectable.

        1. A 1953 US Note was convertible to silver, before the gubbmint welshed on that deal. I’d say that was more valuable than today’s TJ portrait.

          Kevin R

    4. I think i similarly broke a $2bill for quarters once in the early 1980s.

      Look, Karate Champ & a hot dog was important at the time.

      1. There’s a comic, whom I’m too lazy to look up right now, had a joke in his routine about using $2 bills at the strip club. He said the strippers would see the 2 and think 20 but when they came over and saw the 2 only they might think, “Hey, this guy is interesting.”.

    5. It depends on the exact type of the note and the condition, but a 1953 red-writing note is only worth about $2.50.

      1. a 1953 red-writing note is only worth about $2.50

        NERD

        1. I just googled, yo.

          1. …and there I was about to crown you the long lost Heir to the Crown of Dorktopia, Lord of Numismatics, Protector of Out-of-Issue Legal Tender

    6. That depends on what kind of condition it was in.

    7. Last year I got a few silver certificates when I got cash from the bank, and didn’t realize until I had spent some of them.

  8. Stupid school. They’re supposed to call the Secret Service to break up teenage counterfeiting rings.

    1. In Aurora, IL, in the late 1990s, a bunch of kids tried to buy stuff at the cafeteria with color photocopied $20s.

      The cashier was not impressed – she got the “school resource officer” there to walk down the line and say “hand them over” and got 90% or more of them right away. Nobody got arrested, shot or suspended – just laughed at. I suspect today they would be half hung, shot, burned and then crucified upside down in the Fox River, so carp could come by and eat their eyeballs.

      1. Aurora, IL?

        No way!

        Kevin R

    2. Each count of passing counterfeit currency carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and/or fines up to $250,000. They were just trying to keep the old school to prison pipeline full.

  9. Post-secondary institutions want their clientele to behave like K-12 students and K-12 institutions expect their students to behave like hardened criminals.

  10. Are these the retards that are administrating tests to kids?

    1. They just have to administer the tests. They don’t have to be able to pass them themselves.

    2. It’s worse than that. They’re preparing them for the tests.

  11. Don’t know why you be spending that. worth about 4-5x face value.

  12. So she tried to buy something with a slip of printed paper not backed by any hard currency? Sounds like a counterfeiter to me!

      1. Gold isn’t money because, as our “laws” say, commodities can’t be used to pay for commodities.

        /Modern Monetary Theory

        1. In essence the mint was a brute with a great big hammer and a punch. He was supplied with blank disks of silver?these were not money?put the punch on each one and bashed it with the hammer, mashing the portrait of some important hag, and some incantations in Latin, into it?at which point it was money. Officials, supervisors, assayers, clerks, guards, and, in general, the usual crowd of parasitical gentlefolk clustered around the brute with the hammer, but like lice on an ox they could not conceal the simple nature of the beast.

  13. Isn’t failure to accept US currency as a form of payment in this country a crime? Time to sue.

    1. It is. Seems like the cops in the town are a bit arrest-heavy too. Time to arrest the lunchlady.

      1. No, it isn’t. You are perfectly free to not accept cash, not to accept cash of a certain denomination, etc. Please stop spreading this stupid urban legend.

        1. Could you tell in your infinite wisdom which stupid urban legends are acceptable to spread?

          1. Wait until he’s able to write an html link!

            Kevin R

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    1. $89 an hour!

      Paid in $2 bills!

  15. My #1 concern as a I drop my kid off for school every day is the extremely friendly police officer that is now permanently stationed there that I know will put her in cuffs, take her to county lock up for processing where she will be molested by authorities, cost me thousands of dollars in legal costs whether she’s guilty or not, and potentially permanently scar her over something that when I was her age would’ve resulted in after-school detention and a call to my parents (i.e. smoking a joint at school, wearing a shirt that offends someone, buying lunch with fake money, etc). That is statistically the biggest threat to her once I drop her off in the morning – not school shootings, not being abducted in some stereotypical stranger kidnapping, not a hunter who wondered too close to school and freaked out some parent.

    1. I’m glad they don’t have cops at my kid’s school for that very reason.

      (It’s nice living in a small town that doesn’t even have a police force. No way to enforce stupid ordinances, and no armed thugs to harass school children.)

    2. Yeah, I used to get detention all the time, and they never brought in the cops. And I was passing fake twenties to pay for drugs from the dealer that used to set up by the swingsets at recess every day. In those days, the school even had a smoking room, but cigs were “expensive”. It’s a bit queer when we’re looking back with nostalgia to our younger days in school when the principle (a retired peace officer) had a whip and used to hit people with it quite regularly (though there were eventually complaints and he went to hitting the students with a stick instead). Seems queerer now that I’m remembering some of my visits with him in grammar school where he addressed me through a gourd with a face painted on it that he introduced as “Mr Zucchiniface”. Maybe all this reminiscency is unhealthy. Now I’m starting to remember there was other “puppets” as well that made an appearance onced in a while….

      1. More than one of my junior high teachers were active, part time police officers.

  16. Those pens aren’t a reliable tester, by the way. A bleached bill reprinted with a higher denomination will still indicate authentic. Granted, there’s little odds that someone would counterfeit a two dollar bill, but we’re already in loony land when we’re accusing elementary school students of counterfeiting money in the first place.

    1. we’re already in loony land when we’re accusing elementary school students of counterfeiting money in the first place.

      A much more succinct version of what I said below.

    2. Granted, there’s little odds that someone would counterfeit a two dollar bill,

      Butbutbut, it was originally a $1 bill! She’s doubled its value!

  17. Cop: Fuck you. Here’s your *legit* $2 future thug. That’s my apology Granny.

    The school, by the way, are retards.

  18. Wait I was a teller for 5 years in the 2000’s and they still made $2 bills. We would get in brand new ones from the fed in our cash shipments

    Anyway, the biggest bully is always the state

  19. Outstanding response from the school. Just the stuff case studies should be written about. Forget about broadening minds, distributing knowledge and raising intelligence. Keep em stupid and ignorant. And the police, showing true professionalism and bravery in this situation. That girl deserved to be ridiculed and emotionally scarred by those she is taught to look to for support and protection. Imagine, using legal tender to pay for something at school. The audacity involved. I mean, imagine if she used dollar coins. They might have also charged her with concealing a weapon.

  20. If little Danesiah had actually been attempting to pass off a fake $2 bill as legal tender, it was the school’s job to discipline her

    Is this really where we’ve gotten as a society?

    If little Danesiah had actually been attempting to pass off a fake $2 bill as legal tender, it was obviously one she got from somewhere else because how in the actual fuck is a 13-year-old counterfeiting, why is she counterfeiting $2 bills of all things, and why is she using this skill to buy public school lunches?

    It’s like we’ve lost all common sense when the only response is “yeah, she should have been given detention, but the cops? That’s a little harsh . . .”

    1. Exactly, if the bill was fake she should be in no trouble at all and the Secret Service needs to talk to whoever gave it to her.

  21. I’m really at the point where I’m going to start screen “motherfuckers” in my office when I read these kinds of stories. Which will probably result in me being seen as a threat.

  22. Do some basic homework and you’ll find that they still do make $2 bills. The latest series for them is 2013.

    1. You can get 2013 ones if you really want to. They’re not hard to find. Even the 1976 series aren’t rare.

  23. ?the government doesn’t issue them, anymore?

    Not sure if that is entirely accurate. The last run was in 2013, which wasn’t that long ago. Before that 2009.

    It’s not like they couldn’t order another batch at any time.

    1. You should be able to go down to your local bank and buy a stack of $2 bills. I asked a bank about that last year and they confirmed I could.

      I was going on a trip to a resort in Mexico and some travel guide recommended that as a good way of leaving tips. Seemed like a load of shit to me and I assumed it was just a wait to sucker you into leaving about twice as much tip. But the thought of $2 bills got me curious, so I checked with the bank and they said it was no problem.

      1. My grandmother used to do that at Christmas. Every year she’d send a card to each of her grandkids with a $2 bill in it. She got them from the bank.

        1. You musb related to my wife’s family. Her grandmother did this every year for decades for any relatives she had not yet decided to disavow. At least my grandparents, if they decided to send cash, adjusted the quantity for the times and for the age of the recipient, and I don’t ever recall any of them trying to give me or one of my siblings less than five dollars, even years ago when we were wee as fuck and it took a day trip to get to the nearest bank. In those days you had to write an individualised thank you note for every flipping gift, and pay to mail it if needed. I know my father at least would have had me carefully considering whether it wasn’t better to just write REFUSED acrossed it and throw the card back in the mailbox and use the extra time to do something worth more than two dollars to me.

      2. $2 bills are also popular at Second Amendment events.

  24. I googled to see how easy it is to verify that old $2 bills are in circulation (answer: very) and it turns out this has happened before.

    1. His first mistake was doing any sort of business with Best Buy.

    2. For a long time, most of them I got was printed in one of two years, neither particularly recent. Lately, though, there’s a couple recent years that have become about as common.

      Not long ago I got a wheat penny in some change from the grocery and I complained to the checker for giving me old change and she not only took me serious but refused to exchange the old penny for a newer one when I demanded she do.

  25. “If little Danesiah had actually been attempting to pass off a fake $2 bill as legal tender, it was the school’s job to discipline her.” … and then you follow up by comparing to colleges trying to handle crimes themselves.

    Well, actually, passing fake bills is a crime that should be handled by the law and not as a matter of school discipline. Just like rape. Breaking the school’s rules should be handled by the school. This is something completely different.

    The fact that the school administration and police failed to recognize actual legal money is the problem. And their failure to understand that no counterfeiter would make $2 bills. And their failure to apologize (profusely) after realizing that they completely fucked up.

    Sure, if she used a piece of notebook paper and a sharpie, it probably should’ve been handled by the school, but if it was a high quality fake, then the law should’ve been involved. Still, they should have handled it differently.

    Not defending those involved… obviously they are morons. But involving the law for suspected counterfeiting is appropriate. Involving the law to deal with the class clown is not appropriate.

    1. Ignorance of the law is no excuse, unless you’re charged with executing the law.

      The more power you wield, the less responsibility you have.

      This is the way of our world.

      1. Yeah, just hard to wrap your head around it. Sure… it’s illegal to pass fake bills. But they all seemed to react as if the entire concept of a $2 bill was ridiculous. If only there was simple way that they could’ve looked up $2 bills to see if they were real or not.

        But, like you say, it was just so much easier to call the parents and accuse her of forgery.

        1. How do you survive to adolescency without ever having seen or suspected th’existence of a two-dollar bill?

    2. The little girl was clearly the kingpin of a vast counterfeiting ring. How is that not obvious. She clearly MASTERMINDED THE WHOLE THING!

      1. “To Live And Die In Eighth Grade.”

  26. There ought to be a law that punishes government officials who ’cause distress by falsely accusing/arresting children, call it “Danesiah’s Law.

    1. I don’t know how to pronounce that.

      1. Rimes with “amnesia lol”.

  27. The real question is – why the fuck are you counterfeit checking a $2 bill in the first place? FFS, anyone who counterfeits $2 bills *deserves* to get away with it – they’re just going to go broke since their cost of production will be significantly higher that any profit they can make.

    That’s why when people counterfeit they do it with fucking hundred dollar bills. Twenties if they’re desperate.

    1. IIRC, the $20 is the most counterfeited. People pay more attention to $50s and $100s, so imperfect fakes are more likely to be noticed, and the lower denominations aren’t worth it.

  28. “Hey Rufus, I got us them fake moneys you asked for”

    “Whatcha get Bubba”

    “I got them fancy new 2 dollar ones”

    “Stupid Fuck”

  29. If little Danesiah had actually been attempting to pass off a fake $2 bill as legal tender, it was the school’s job to discipline her, not a matter for the police.

    Is this the same Reason magazine that repeatedly says that rape should be a matter for the police rather than for school discipline? So what is the distinction? Is there something special about rape that makes school authorities unable to deal with it, or is there something special about the K-12 school environment that makes their administrators capable of punishing offenses against the criminal law?

    1. Never mind. I just finished reading the article and see that the last paragraph addresses this question.

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  31. When I visited Monticello many years ago they used to give out $2 bills as change, don’t know if they still do

  32. Of course it’s counterfeit because the Constitution clearly states that only gold and silver coins are legal tender.

  33. “Diversity society will fail” –Putnam;
    Let Black Police deal with Black Suspects;

    1. Ot little girl police.

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  37. Bullies always take your lunch money.

    Out of an abundance of caution, we should close all the public schools until we can be sure this will never happen again. Not being able to eat lunch is bad enough — imagine the psychic damage of being labeled a criminal in front of your peers.

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  39. Wow! If Texas secedes what are we going to do about the brain drain?

    1. I’d bet money – real money, not counterfeit – that the public employees in your state are just as big of fucking geniuses as we have in Texas.

  40. Imagine the mayhem if she had also mixed a $1 coin and a half dollar in there?

  41. Okay, it’s one thing for public school staff to not be aware of the $2 bill, but the police should have known better.

  42. And those “counterfeit pens”? Yeah, they’re a scam. It’s just iodide, which will change color in the presences of starch, which real bills don’t have. Of course, neither do fake bills.

    1. Wait, so why… Oh never mind.

      The stupidity of human beings is a boundless and awesome thing to behold. Just when you though you’ve seen its limit, it quadruples in both size and scope.

  43. Saddest story I’ve read this week. I don’t know what makes me sadder – that the police and school administrators unapologetically humiliated a little girl or that the police and administrators are dumber than a bag of hammers.

  44. And they want us to throw more money at the schools when the schools can’t even recognize real money.

    But seriously, folks, couldn’t they get one of those little UV devices that cashiers use to spot phony bills? It’s not hard, people.

  45. “But the $2 bill was real, of course. There aren’t very many of them but $2s are out there.”

    What the blazes? There’s a ton of them. I get them in packs of one hundred from the fucking bank. Still, I get folks not too rarely exclaiming when I expend one, “A two dollar bill! Where did you find one?” A few times, I’ve had people arsk to buy them from me, people probably more readily able to get to the bank than myself.

    I’m reminded of a time in Montana where I got detained by police for using a credit card to get gas in the middle of the night (in those days, at least, there weren’t any gas stations that remained staffed at night). I was at first confused by the officer’s demeanour, like he’d caught me at something simply because I was filling a tank at night. Then, when it was clear I needed to actually explain how it works, he was very reluctant to believe me that such things were possible. I don’t remember how long the card operated pumps had been round bout then, but it’s not like it was something that had just been invented and was installed only in rare experimental stations.

    1. I should admit that I have sold them on occasion when people offered me something more than two dollars a piece for them, but only after explaining that anybody can pick them up at the bank. A few times I was treated like some kind of dope that they were taking advantage of, my explanation clearly took as the product of some kind of delusions.

    2. And in those days, I could have paid the attendant in fucking Canadian money during the day and it was no problem.

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  47. Wouldn’t a $2 bill from 1953 be worth a lot more than $2 as a collectible item? I’m wondering where the grandmother got it. She should probably try to contact someone who deals in such things to find out how much it is worth. (If it was a coin, I could talk about the “numismatic” value; I don’t think that word covers bills, but maybe; if it doesn’t, is there a counterpart word for paper money?)

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  49. Two Dollar bills easy to get, goto you local branch, adk for two dollar bills.

    I like to use them for tips, you would be surprised next time you visit a place several times they remember you.

    Service quality increases.

    Usually get $50-$100, time they can get all you need from their money source. Either their courier service, bigger branch, or they can order two $ bill from Feds.

    Do it all the time.

    By the way, if that happened to me, ( getting cops involved) I would offer them a get out of court/ no lawyer opportunity. Do not call the cops, accept legal currency or they get the shaft.

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  51. Even if the bill was phony, what benefit would there be of charging the little girl? And therefore, why would a police officer be called into the issue. Clearly, she was given the money from somewhere. It is not like she drew it herself. I do love the fact the $2 bill was genuine though….

  52. She should come back to school loaded up with Susan B Anthony’s – she’ll be arrested for sure

  53. One other thing that makes both the cops and the school employees look really stupid in this case is the fact that in Houston there is a metals recycling center which routinely advertises on television that it will pay you in fresh $2 bills.

    I grew up in Houston and attended public schools there, grades one through twelve. Evidently the clowns working in them have turned into even bigger jackasses than they were back then.

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  60. Fucking idiots. Why am I not surprised this happened in Texas?!

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  64. “Diversity society will fail” –Putnam;
    Let Black Police deal with Black Suspects;
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  65. RE: Little Girl Detained By Police After Trying to Buy School Lunch with Real $2 Bill
    She did nothing wrong. But even if she had, a chicken nugget scam is not a matter for the cops.

    1. The little girl better get used to be detained by the police. It’s going to be the new and improved version of State control methods that will be employed by either the socialist slaver Heil Hitlery or the fascist Trump the Grump. Detaining people for no reason will be the new trend in Big Government actions of controlling the he little people.

    2. I’m sure the people of Houston are relieved to know their police are going after little girls and not investigating murders, bank robberies or pedophiles. Tax dollars well spent.

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  68. I wonder why the school STILL defends it’s actions in this case on it’s website. They state that in ALL cases where the pens do not work they will treat it as a counterfeit operation, even though – by law – all US currency must be accepted for debts personal and private. If the school refuses to accept $2 bills after learning this, it is the school that is committing a crime. Additionally, the reason why the design of the $2 is never updated is because they are rarely counterfitted due to being too expensive to be worth doing.

    As they themselves admit, even in cases of actual counterfeiting criminal charges are rarely filed because the actual source of the bill cannot be established. Given that fact, there is never a reason to pull a student out of school over it.

    If I, as an adult, tried to deposit a counterfeit bill the bank would just confiscate the bill. They won’t even notify the police because there is no reason to because the the intent cannot be established. It’s not even illegal to knowingly own a counterfeit bill, just to try using it knowingly.

    So I think the schools should have to treat the students as least as well as the adults would be treated: With the presumption of innocence until guilt is proven. If an investigation has to be carried out, don’t involve the kid. Accept the bill, give the kid the lunch, and then silently investigate it so as not to disrupt their meal or education.(truancy is a crime and denying children food can be considered child abuse).

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