A.M. Links: Bernie vs. Hillary Debate Tonight in Brooklyn, Kobe Bryant Retires from NBA, Trump 2016 Nearly As Unpopular As David Duke 1992

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  • CNN

    Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton will face off tonight in Brooklyn at a Democratic presidential debate airing on CNN.

  • According to a new poll, Donald Trump "is the most unpopular top-tier presidential candidate over more than three decades…except for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke."
  • Paul Ryan says that he is not running for president this year. But according to one influential pundit, "Paul Ryan is still running for president."
  • "President Obama touted the U.S.-led coalition's air campaign against ISIS Wednesday, even as political turmoil in Iraq and flares of violence in Syria threaten to jeopardize hard-fought gains."
  • Kobe Bryant played the final game of his pro basketball career last night.

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    1. Hello.

      1. THAT REPLY IS A TACIT AGREEMENT TO GO PENS

        1. NO IT ISN’T.

          And why is your team named after a writing tool?

          1. They are mightier than the Sabres?

            1. Nice.

    2. Go Blues! ?

    3. Sure, at least for this series. Also, fuck the Wings and Flyers.

      I expect Caps / Ducks but want Bolts / Stars.

        1. Yes. Always and forever. Though that’s pure geography. If they played in Phoenix or Buffalo or something I probably would have no issues with that pack of scoundrels.

  1. Sean Hannity on his admiring coverage of Donald Trump: “I’m not a journalist!”

    Outstanding.

    1. Hannity is still around? Gah, I haven’t seen that old windbag in years!

      1. I read the article and it was pretty on point. When I do catch some of Hannity’s radio show, it’s not just the usual “for all the cop knew, that 14 year old boy might have had an AK-47 under his shirt”, it’s also filled to the brim with hugs and kisses for Trump while claiming to “Not have a dog in this race”(sic).

        I think of the “conservative” radio hosts, he has to be the biggest hypocrite and idiot.

        1. He’s taken to having his producer quote how much airtime he has afforded each candidate (Cruz is first, Trump third) because he’s tired of people pointing out his thinly-veiled bias. Of course, they’re not counting all the breathless coverage of Trump’s antics he gives for hours on end, without ever so much as mentioning Cruz. (This was before he was forced by primary voters to acknowledge Cruz’s existence in Cruz’s absence.)

          Before Rubio dropped out, honest to god, the low information voters I know had no idea who or what a ‘Ted Cruz’ was, much less that he was the only serious challenger to Trump’s ascendancy. Honestly; even Kasich, Christie, Jeb!, and Carson all got more ‘name time’ on the Hannity radio show prior to this becoming a two-man race. Only Rand received a more thorough ‘ignore it and maybe it’ll go away’ treatment. As far as I’m concerned, it was extremely compelling evidence that Cruz is the right guy to support in Rand’s absence.

          Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that Rand and Cruz had an agreement that whichever one performed worse in the first primary would immediately jump ship to allow voters to consolidate behind the other guy.

  2. Kobe Bryant played the final game of his pro basketball career last night.

    Was it a come from behind win?

    1. He scored 61 points. It was like when they let that retarded girl score a basket. A disrespect of the competition, and a blatant ‘fix’ that will never be prosecuted.

      1. I was somewhat surprised to read that he only won one MVP award.

      2. Sports are entertainment at the end. Fixing that won’t harm the game overall (a.k.a. lose fan confidence in the competition of skill), well won’t harm the game overall.

      3. Utah scored first and maintained a comfortable lead until deep in the 4th. Kobe shot 44% on the night and added a game winner to his tally, staving off an unprecedented Utah sweep of the Lakers. Utah was playing for the 8th playoff spot, but were eliminated when Houston won their game which started an hour earlier.

    2. Terribly funny.

      1. Yes, twas.

        1. You misspelled twat.

          1. You forgot the comma, twat.

            1. “You, misspelled twat”?

    3. Something else happened in sports last night other than the start of the Stanley Cup Playoffs?

        1. I know. I did not think that was legal.

      1. Yeah, the Warriors won their 73rd game of the NBA season.

    4. Didn’t he take 50 shots? 61 points isn’t that big of a deal with that many layups.

      1. 61 points on 50 shots is actually pretty good. The expected yield for the average NBA player is about 44 points on 50 shots.

  3. 164) Following the resignation of Iceland’s prime minister, its Pirate Party is now polling at 43%. If it became the leading party in parliament, it would be the first libertarian-ish party in the world to hold power. The only other libertarian-ish party I know of to achieve significant electoral success is Germany’s FDP, which sometimes gets as much as 10% of the vote in German national elections. But the Pirate Party would actually be in charge in Iceland after elections currently scheduled for this fall.
    Related: Note this story seems to have totally escaped the notice of the national media. The Washington Post buried this information in an article on the Panama Papers, the NY Times appears not to have addressed it, nothing on the BBC Web site. And Reason??

      1. We drink and we pilage and we do what we please
        We get all that we want for free
        We’ll kick your ass and rape your lass
        Somalian Pirates We

        1. Nice, but Led Zeppelin’s lines about coming from the land of the ice and snow where the hot spring flow, indicate they may have been speaking of specifically *Icelandic* pirates, making it more topical as a national anthem for Iceland.

          1. We drink and we pilage and we do what we please
            We get all that we want for free
            We’ll kick your ass and rape your lass
            Somalian Icelandic Pirates We

    1. And Reason??

      I blame Icelandic Elves, and the squirrels.

    2. Reason knows better than to post about polls before the vote is in on a libertarian moment. They’ve gotten enough shit over it. We’ll hear something if they actually win.

      Also, if they win 40% there is a good chance that everyone else will band together to make a coalition government in opposition to them.

    3. Escaped the notice of the national media? Other than a large volcanic eruption that blocks air traffic and alters weather patterns in the northern hemisphere, what could possibly happen in Iceland’s domestic news that would warrant US national media attention?

      It is a tiny island, well isolated from the rest of the world by large stretches of open ocean, having fewer people than the Greensboro North Carolina area. It would really have to work hard to be less relevant to US news.

      1. It is a tiny island…

        Nope. It’s the world’s eighteenth-largest island, coming in just behind Cuba, and is bigger than Ireland (the entire island), Hokkaido, Hispanola and Tasmania.

        And it was relevant enough to the US that we invaded them during WW2 out of fear that the Germans would do so first and use Iceland as a staging ground for an invasion of North America. Even though it was a bloodless invasion and not actively resisted by the government they were not happy about that. At all.

  4. Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton will face off tonight in Brooklyn at a Democratic presidential debate airing on CNN.

    Which will out-New York the other?

    1. After a trip to NYC with my brother and his wife several years ago, my brother remarked on our way out of town: “New York, the town where there’s always an Italian guy in the middle of the street yelling, ‘No, fuck you!’
      I can only hope this debate lives up that.

    2. Considering that Clinton is a NYINO, I think the answer to that is obvious.

      1. Why did they let her immigrate?

    3. This morning I heard Bernie whining about how unfair it is that in New York only Democrats can vote in the Democratic primary. It’s not enough the Democrats allow a non-Democrat to run in an election to be the standard-bearer for the Democrats, now he wants that non-Democrat to be elected by other non-Democrats. Do the Canadians allow Mexicans to vote in their elections? Does the Elk’s Club allow the Moose Lodge to run candidates in their elections?

      So yeah, Bernie’s already proudly displaying that New York Value of whining like a baby when you don’t get what you want.

      1. I really can’t stand him. The more i hear him complain the more i dislike him. I think the guy is pure evil

        1. He would be a footnote if he was running against anyone else. As a New Yorker I have to listen to a lot of delusional horseshit from repugnant political figures but you’re on to something, he is just the worst.

        2. He seriously comes across as just a hateful, bitter, angry old man when he’s up there yelling about whatever it is he’s yelling about on stage.

          1. Clouds. He is yelling about clouds.

      2. The parties gave up their right to decide who can be on their ballot when they got the states to run their nominating contests for them.

        1. Not here in Georgia – if you want to run as a Republican you actually have to be a member of the Republican Party and that’s a rule set by the Republican Party of Georgia, not by Georgia state law. (And there is actually a vetting process – the GaGOP will interview you and if you don’t pass their screening process your name doesn’t go on the ballot.) And I’m pretty sure elsewhere it’s the state Party that sets the rules, not the state itself. How much the national Party dictates what the state Party can do I don’t know, but I’d be very surprised if the rules were such that Hillary Clinton would be free to run on the Republican ticket in any state when she’s a registered member of the Democrat Party. (Or maybe you’re speaking in an “in my opinion” manner – you think the parties forfeited their right to decide who can be on their ballot when they allowed the government to take over running their nominating contests regardless of what the laws or the rules say. Be that as it may, in at least some states you have to be a member of the Party to get your name put on the Party ballot and in at least some states you have to declare yourself a member of that Party to vote in that Party’s primary.)

          1. I just think they should pick one. Either primaries are proper elections, or they are a private affair run by the party however they want. And if it is the latter, the parties ought to organize and pay for the whole thing themselves.

  5. Half of all people could be carrying ‘gay genes’

    Around half of all people, including straight men and women, could carry “gay genes”, meaning that they continue to be passed down the generations despite the tendency of homosexuals not to have children, new research suggests.

    The sisters of gay men tend to have more children, helping explain the persistence of homosexuality in larger populations, while straight men may also carry genes predisposing them to being gay, the study found.

    dusts of my collection of musicals

    1. straight men may also carry genes predisposing them to being gay

      Fabulous news!

    2. I keep ’em next to my Neanderthal genes.

    3. I hate musicals. I’m more into Judas Priest. Uh…

      1. You got another thing comin’, Rhywun.

        1. Rhywun., did you add “Uh” to your statement because the lead singer of Judas Priest is homosexual?

          I also heard that he carries gay jeans.
          Alternately: I heard that he also carries gay jeans.

          1. I was into Priest back when everyone ignored the leather outfits and the double-entendre lyrics. But yes.

            1. I thought so.

              Regardless, Halford’s personal preferences didn’t alter my opinion of the band or the music.

              1. That is the general impression I get from most fans.

      2. +1 Grinder

    4. Do we even know if “gay genes” exist?

      1. No. None have been isolated.

      2. I thought they went out of style back in the ’80’s and are only available now at “vintage clothing” stores, so probably the hipsters are bringing them back. Look for the “Guess” logo on the back.

        1. Some of us have a thing for lesbian butts in 80’s jeans.

      3. No, but if they do – up to half of all people could be carrying them.

        Or something.

      4. I think there are probably plenty of gay people named Gene

        1. I’ve dated one, in fact.

          1. Well there you go, then. The gay Gene does exist.

      5. If we did some third world country would be making a mint screening children for it. The day we find proof of a biological cause of gayness is the day gayness goes on the extinction watch.

        1. The day they isolate the gayness gene is the day the left starts supporting anti-abortion laws for clumps of cells Unborn American Heroes.

          1. Yep, it’ll be a 180. The pro-choicers are now fighting laws outlawing abortions for certain purposes (Downs syndrome, etc.). That will change if its possible to identify and abort a gay baby.

          2. That works both ways, guys. See below.

        2. You make a good point, Illocust, and I hadn’t considered what should have been obvious possible reactions.

          Following through with your point….

          A) Drugs, chemicals, or whatever method can be devised to remove/prevent the “gene” from being present in future generations will be sought by the governments/cultures viewing homosexuality with antipathy, and
          B) Since the matter would be one of genetics and not choice, these governments/cultures will feel justified in punishing “willful” gay individuals with impunity.

        3. I can’t wait for that culture war.

        4. The day we find proof of a biological cause of gayness is the day gayness goes on the extinction watch.

          Yep. And all of a sudden the so-called “pro-life” soconz are going to find a loophole that says aborting fetuses with those genes is just fine and dandy.

      6. What about the 341,629 other sexual preferences, do they each have a different gene?

        1. And how many of those genes does Steve Smith have

          1. None, it is the absense of mediating genes that makes a rapesquach rape anything and everything it can. If he had a preference, it would mean a preference against as well as for.

          2. STEVE SMITH RIPS OFF JEANS OF HIPSTERS TO GET AT GOOEY CENTER.

    5. Hey ladies, Straight guy guy here, I just need a more permanent solution to my problem, preferrably while singing bass.

      1. Hey ladies

        You on the wrong website, homes.

        1. What is the right website? /asking for a friend.

          1. There is one true libertarian women’s group and Nicole is their prophet…all hail the worst.

  6. …Donald Trump “is the most unpopular top-tier presidential candidate over more than three decades…except for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.”

    Trump doesn’t know who that is.

    1. They had to call David Duke a “top-tier presidential candidate” so as to compare him to Trump, I guess.

      This crap is why Trump is popular in the first place.

      1. top-tier presidential candidate over more than three decades…except for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.”

        David Duke was top tier?!?

        1. Yeah, that was my reaction, too. Anything to mention Trump and the KKK in the same headline, I guess…

        2. Of course he was top tier. He garnered .94% of the vote.

          1. Well, that is just below Jeb and a lot higher than Rand Paul or Chris Christie for total primary votes this year. But it would be a stretch to call any of them “top tier”.

            1. But it would be a stretch lie to call any of them “top tier”.

              1. I don’t know. Maybe it’s like kids’ sports. Everyone is a winner!

    2. Duke was never a top tier candidate. So who before that and how long ago?

      1. I forgot he ran. “Top tier” my ass.

      2. The last “most unpopular candidate ever” was Abraham J. Lincolnowitz. (You know what the ‘J’ stands for.)

        1. I think you mean Abradolf Lincler.

  7. Sean Hannity on his admiring coverage of Donald Trump: “I’m not a journalist!”

    Caller: “you’re not a great journalist”
    Hannity: “you’re not a great journalist”

    1. You know who else wasn’t a great journalist?

      1. Hitler?

      2. Robby Soave? I mean, he didn’t even Columbia, you guys!

      3. I was looking for “Anne Frank” since she only got halfway finished and then just ran out of gas and let the project die.

        1. There is so much simultaneously wrong and right with that sentence.

      4. “You know who else wasn’t a great journalist?”

        Anyone working at Polygon or Kotaku?

  8. Hate Crimes Against Muslim Canadians Doubled Over Three Years

    New data on police-reported hate crime in Canada shows crimes against Muslims have more than doubled over three years.

    In 2014, the most recent data available, the overall number of hate crimes came down slightly since 2012, while religiously-motivated crimes against Muslims more than doubled from 45 to 99 nationwide.

    The report comes only six months after a federal election that put rising religious animosity front and center. Debates over whether Muslim women should be able to wear face-covering niqabs during citizenship ceremonies and the creation of a tip line for barbaric cultural practices underscored Canada’s growing divide when it comes to religious accommodation.

    1. a tip line for barbaric cultural practices

      Serious question: How long until “barbaric” is politically incorrect?

      1. Political Correctness is a Barbaric Cultural Practice that needs to be expunged.

        1. Isn’t the use of “Political Correctness” by non-white, non-rich, non-SJW folks cultural appropriation?

          1. “Cultural Appropriation” is a time-honored tradition common to all peoples. It should be celebrated.

              1. Happy Cinco De Paddy’s Day?

                1. Happy Fifth of Irish???

      2. I give it less than a year.

      3. It probably already is.

      4. I think it is already considered a sign of bad thought. Just think of the instinctual reaction you get when someone mentions their own culture as civilized in comparison to others. It’s tied to deeply with the conquistador mindset to sit well with the modern thought process.

    2. In totally unrelated news, cases of workplace violence including Muslims has halved.

    3. I am very suspicious. Who committed the crimes?

      1. And how far down have they defined “hate crime”?

        1. Disagreeing with them is a hate crime by their definition.

        1. He’s a dick

    4. And the population of Canadian Muslims did what in those 3 years? I’ll guess – doubled?

    5. Only 100 of a single type of crime in an entire country. Sure Canada may be smaller than the US population wise, but I would consider a jump from fifty to a hundred in Rhode Island a sign of a trend.

      1. RI has a million people. I’m thinking maybe at town level we’re seeing something meaningful. Otherwise it’s probably bullshit – esp. without knowing what they think is a “hate crime”.

    6. “Police-reported hate crimes”. I suspect these are not cases where there are now cops behind bars serving sentences for committing hate crimes. So who determined these are actually crimes and that they actually happened? If the report is coming from the police, I would have to guess at least some of these are “alleged” hate crimes. Spray-painting a swastika on a temple is certainly vandalism, but how do you prove intent if you don’t actually know who did the spray-painting? Reading CCC 318 and 319, I’d also have to guess that at least some of the “hate crimes” are like “hate speech” here in the US – it’s just somebody saying something you don’t like hearing and your safe space is too far away to retreat to so you demand the speaker be silenced.

    7. Did Love crimes decline?

      1. Probably not, if the Muslim population increased.

    8. while religiously-motivated crimes against Muslims more than doubled from 45 to 99 nationwide.

      Given the history of Muslims criming on each other as a form of religious disputation, how many of those were Muslim-on-Muslim? Or are they saying that its not possible for a Muslim to commit a religiously-motivated crime against another Muslim?

  9. Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton will face off tonight in Brooklyn at a Democratic presidential debate airing on CNN.

    Finish Him!

    1. You know what would be a real “shot in the arm” for CNN?

      If Hillary got hauled off the stage in handcuffs.

      1. I had no idea you were into S&M.

        1. M to S: “Beat me! Beat me!”

          S to M: “Nooooooooooo.”

  10. But according to one influential pundit, “Paul Ryan is still running for president.”

    Is he influential enough to influence Ryan to run?

    1. No voters want Ryan to run.

      1. Who’s concerned about voter wishes?

      2. I want him to run. As far and as fast as he can.

      3. No voters want Ryan to run.

        Establishment Republicans vote too, you know.

        1. I thought they just sent money to Walker and Bush.

  11. Laura Jane Grace ‘Eager’ to Play North Carolina, Will Perform ‘As a Form of Protest’

    Grace, who came out as transgender in 2012 and will release the memoir Tranny later this year, spoke with BuzzFeed News about how her band would handle its scheduled date in North Carolina.

    “I’m going to create an event around the show as a form of protest to say that despite whatever stupid laws they enact, trans people are not going to be scared. They are not going to go away,” she said. “I think the real danger with HB2 is that it creates a target on transgender people specifically. When you feel targeted as a trans person, the natural inclination is to go into hiding. But visibility is more important than ever; to go there and have the platform of a stage to stand on and speak your mind and represent yourself.”

    1. Who? What? Who cares? Is this one of those millennial musicians?

      1. Against Me!, one of the very worst bands I’ve ever heard. Blech.

    2. She’s going to “play North Carolina?” So, is she salty on one side and mountainous on the other?

      1. I thought it meant a wicked post up game or three point shooting?

        1. Wicked post up op game

          FTFY

          1. Oh, very nice!

            *applauds*

        2. Four corners.

    3. I’ll give her credit for not just taking her ball a going home. I have a lot of North Carolinian friends and the absolute meltdown (via facebook and twitter, of course) over this has been pretty spectacular.*

      *Not knowing much about the bill or the law the bill was designed to refute, I am in no way endorsing any particular side.

      1. The law tackles two separate topics.

        In *government-owned* multi-user bathrooms, you have to use the men’s room if your birth certificate says male, and the ladies if your birth certificate says female.

        The second topic: Local governments cannot burden businesses with “civil rights” laws which go beyond state law. One result is that since state law allows discrimination based on sexual orientation or “gender identity,” local governments must allow it, too.

        1. Must or may, for locals?

          1. the statute says the state laws about labor and civil rights supersede and preempt local laws, so the locals can’t add new regulations beyond what the state has, at least where private business is concerned.

    4. It will be all fine and dandy until she (he?) has to use the bathroom.

    5. Looks like Laura Jane Grace just lost her victim card. Let the two-minutes hate commence!

    6. So basically, she realizes that this is all bullshit, and she’d rather make money than do a stupid form of protest. That or she really believes in the cause, but is just rationalizing so she can do what’s best for her.

  12. Poland thinks EU refugee quota plan is ‘dead’, minister says

    Poland cannot take in the 7,000 refugees it agreed to accept and thinks the plan to distribute 120,000 migrants across the European union is “dead”, its deputy foreign minister was quoted as saying on Thursday.

    Konrad Szymanski told the newspaper Dziennik Gazeta Prawna that few of the 28 other EU countries would implement the quota system agreed at a Brussels summit in late September over vehement objections from four ex-communist east European states.

    Poland’s previous government reluctantly accepted Poland’s assigned quota and the new conservative government that won a general election in late October initially agreed to respect it despite its own criticism of the plan.

    “I don’t see a possibility to implement this decision and I can’t see it happen also in most EU countries. This decision is dead,” Szymanski said in the interview.

    1. You know what other Polish government had a problem with accepting Muslims?

      1. Jan Sobeski didn’t seem like a fan.

      2. Vienna Tear Down Those Walls!!!

        John III Sobieski Screw You!!!!

    2. For some reason, Poland takes a dim view of foreigners crossing their borders.

      1. Nobody has explained to them that borders are not real and that Mongols, Russians, Ukranians, Germans etc who want to cross those non-existent borders just wanted a better life

        1. Who are the Poles to deny these migrants their rightful Lebensraum?

      2. Sometimes, people just need a little breathing room.

    3. I wish we could assign colors like orange and green to European conservatives and liberals. They are so radically different from the American versions that calling them by the same name is more confusing than helpful.

  13. OT: The newest thing we’re supposed to pretend not to notice

    Additional analyses revealed that heterosexual males reported significantly higher levels of both violent and nonviolent delinquency than gay males, whereas lesbians reported more involvement in nonviolent delinquency and, to a lesser extent, violent delinquency relative to heterosexual females. Analyses also revealed that lesbians reported significantly more delinquent behavior, particularly for nonviolent delinquency, than gay males.

    1. So the violence scale goes: men, dykes, women, fags?

      1. Unless it’s vilence against a domestic partner, then it’s lesbians, hetero women, hetero men, gays.

    2. Is this another one of those studies concluding the bloody obvious?

    3. I really really wonder what is up with lesbians. I could see it easily being socialization. Girls are let off a lot easier for acting out violently, especially if their victims are boys. On the other hand, it can’t be dismissed that there might be something hormonal going on. Whatever switched them over to playing for the other team could also be affecting their tendency towards violence levels.

  14. Trump campaign manager will not be prosecuted, sources say

    A Florida prosecutor has decided not to prosecute Donald Trump’s campaign manager for battery after a March run-in with former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields, sources with knowledge of the situation told POLITICO.

    The decision not to press charges against Corey Lewandowski is scheduled to be announced on Thursday afternoon by Palm Beach County State Attorney David Aronberg.

    Fields may still pursue a defamation case against Lewandowski, a source said.

    1. Florida Prosecutor? That’s a new one.

    2. It was just her imagination? I knew it!

    3. Uh-oh! Someone better get poor little Rico Soave a crying towel.

    4. Fields may still pursue a defamation case against Lewandowski, a source said.

      I think Lewandowski ought to pursue a defamation case against her.

      1. Fields can pursue or Fields might pursue? Because, as Trump knows, anybody can sue anybody for anything they feel like so saying Fields can pursue a defamation case means nothing. Hell, I can file a defamation suit against Lewandowski. Or Donald Trump or Donald Duck or Old MacDonald for that matter if I feel like it.

  15. These US Senators Want to Halt the Sale of Bombs to Saudi Arabia

    Two US Senators introduced legislation on Wednesday that would halt future sales of aerial munitions to Saudi Arabia until President Obama verifies that the Saudi government is respecting international humanitarian law in waging war in Yemen, that it doesn’t support listed terrorist groups, and that it is pursuing all measures to eradicate al-Qaeda and the Islamic State group.

    Senators Chris Murphy (D-CT) and Rand Paul (R-KY) said that in light of the civilian toll of the US-backed Saudi-led intervention in Yemen, the White House must ensure that American weapons are not being used in attacks on innocents. Both said that it was unclear if the Saudi-led coalition’s operations in Yemen, which the US government immediately supported a year ago, advance US interests in the Middle East.

    1. File under “won’t get out of committee”

      1. “OK, hold your press conference for the voters, then drop the matter.”

    2. I would settle for the White House ensuring that American weapons are not being used against American soldiers.

  16. Man believes fire alarm contained smurfs, causes disturbance at Blount County high school

    Investigators said a 32-year-old man wearing only underwear and socks went into the vocational building at William Blount High School trying to pull a fire alarm off the wall because he claimed there were smurfs inside it.

    The Blount County Schools system said he entered the parking lot during morning dropoff and was then seen trying to enter two outside doors unsuccessfully. They said that is when he entered the Career Technical Education wing of the school.

    The school system said the secretary asked how she could help him, and he gave an incoherent response. She asked him to leave. Within four minutes the school resource officer had him in custody.

    1. What a smurfing smurf. Smurf him.

    2. How did Epi get out there?

    3. In his defense, if there were smurfs in there you really want to get them out.

      1. Especially *Smurfette* amirite?

        1. Yeah, but I can’t stand her voice. Too high, simpering, and lispy.

    4. “Investigators said a … man wearing only underwear and socks…”

      Wish we could go more than a couple days without seeing Denny Hastert in the news.

    5. When caught doing something stupid, act crazy.

      1. When caught doing something stupid, act crazy.

        Hey – it works for women.

        /Paraphrasing just about every Misogynist I’ve heard utter words.

        1. You just lit the Johnny Longtorso signal. Return of Kings link explaining how all women are mentally and emotionally unstable in 4… 3… 2…

          1. Dude! Did you see how Dealmaker Alpha got that slut Megyn Kelly to come to his apartment? What can’t he do?

  17. Task force finds that Chicago police have ‘no regard’ for minority lives and alienated them for DECADES through excessive force and honoring a code of silence

    The panel was established by Mayor Rahm Emanuel late last year in response to an outcry over police shootings
    It found that the department does little to weed out problem officers and routine encounters unnecessarily turn deadly
    The group concluded that fear and lack of trust in law enforcement among minorities is justified

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-past.html

    1. And…nothing else will happen?

      1. Exactly.

      2. They’ll file the report away so that in about 10 years when there’s a new task force charged with investigating the Chicago PD they’ll already have a rough template for issuing their own report.

    2. The solution is to show less regard for majority lives.

      1. The administration has been all over that for seven plus years.

  18. The Minnesoda DNR once again gets itself in trouble.

    The DNR here has lost a bunch of cases because they don’t follow basic due process rules and end up losing cases when they try to convict people.

    In this case they planted a GPS device on a poacher without a warrant. A judge threw the case out and scolded the DNR.

    “The court cannot retroactively transform what is not a warrant into a warrant. The tracking order is not the equivalent of a warrant. ? In the present case there was ample information to support a finding of probable cause for a warrant to issue for the GPS device.”

    1. Is this the same guy who they wanted to nab for killing those whitetail pests?

      1. Yeah. The one that got him in trouble was a fawn.

        I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the poacher, he seems like a real slimeball. However, good on the judge for actually following the law and telling the DNR that they have to follow the rules.

        1. The one that got him in trouble was a fawn.

          Well, that’s really dumb. Fawns are delicious. Seriously, I use to make a point of burning my antlerless tag on a fawn. Raised on milk, alfalfa, and corn; it was divine. Venison veal FTW.

    2. “In the present case there was ample information to support a finding of probable cause for a warrant to issue for the GPS device.”

      That’s the thing that boggles my mind. If you have enough information to get a warrant, then why not get a fucking warrant? Then you’re good to go for just about anything, including, I guess, GPS tracking of a privately owned vehicle.

      1. If you have enough information to get a warrant

        “I’m a cop, I want a warrant” is generally all the information a magistrate needs to issue a warrant. If that were not so, the magistrate would not be a magistrate since you don’t get to be a magistrate without the endorsement of the local “legal community”, which is the cops and the prosecutor’s office.

        You know magistrates will issue warrants for IP addresses? Depending on the discovery service I use, my computer’s IP address shows it’s in Conyers, Barnesville, or Douglas County, nowhere near where it actually is. And if I’m using my usual proxy service it shows the IP address doesn’t even belong to this computer and it’s in England. How is a warrant for “some computer somewhere” considered a valid warrant?

  19. Illinois police department gives up on body cameras because they’re tired of people asking for videos

    Cameras given to 15 officers from the Minooka Police Department last July
    Police Chief Justin Meyer concerned about time spent completing requests
    Cameras able to record up to nine hours of video with 16 GB of storage
    Comes as Chicago Police Department announced expansion of program

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ideos.html

    1. They should all just automatically get uploaded to YouTube.

      1. Periscope is there for a reason.

  20. Woman steals beer truck; leads police on chase

    It all started around 5:30 at the Kwik Shop near 27th and W. The semi truck driver came out of the shop and found 38-year-old Danna Hespen had climbed into the truck and locked the doors. When police arrived, they say she drove off, hitting one police car with an officer inside. Police say the officer wasn’t injured.

    They chased the truck north and east. At one point, Hespen tried to run over another officer who was laying out stop sticks. He managed to jump out of the way.

    At Leighton, Lincoln Police say the chase was getting too dangerous and they gave up pursuit. The UNL police department found the truck crashed on their east campus shortly afterward. Police say the truck hit a fence and stopped in a shallow ravine. They found Hespen inside and arrested her for two counts of assault on a police officer, fleeing to avoid arrest, and auto theft. She has also been cited for DUI, and police found drugs in her system.

    1. *waves*

      Hey, Crusty! Over here!

    2. Florida Woman?

      1. No, she’s classy.

        1. Very nice indeed, straffinrun.

    3. Leighton, Lincoln Police say the chase was getting too dangerous and they gave up pursuit.

      That’s weird. Why quit just when its getting fun?

  21. A win for Title IX?

    9th grade girl swimmers hire a male stripper. Is that progress or not?

    1. Progress will be if trans strippers can be hired to perform as the sex they identify with, defying their customers’ bigoted expectations.

      Wait, 9th grade? They better have been held back a lot, otherwise the story would be kind of creepy.

      1. It is Iowa. So 9th graders are all probably 19 year olds.

  22. Police constable shows judge “how grenade works” inside courtroom, three injured

    A hand grenade exploded inside courtroom in Karachi’s Anti-Terrorism Court (ATC) after a judge asked a police constable if he knew how grenades worked. The constable, instead of explaining his expertise in weapons and grenade handling to the judge, opted to demonstrate practically by promptly pulling out the pin from the grenade.

    This resulted in a loud explosion, injuring three including the constable and a court clerk.

    The blast took place while hearing of a case was underway in courtroom-III. Two policemen and a court clerk were among injured and taken to a nearby hospital for first aid. Court’s proceeding was briefly suspended as a result.

    1. Technically he was correct….pull the pin and it will boom.

      1. “When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend.”

    2. judge asked a police constable if he knew how grenades worked

      So the answer is no.

      1. He didn’t say “did he know how to handle them safely!”

        1. The judge should have specified “safely” in his request.

      2. I would have said the answer was pretty conclusively “yes”. He got it to work, didn’t he?

    3. By Allah, hold my tea and watch this!

      1. +1 as God as my witness

      2. Afghanistan is the Florida of southwest Asia.

        1. Maybe, but this story was datelined Karachi, Pakistan.

          1. Whoops, my bad. Pakistan is the Ohio of southwest Asia.

    4. Of course this is Pakistan.

  23. Sean Hannity on his admiring coverage of Donald Trump: “I’m not a journalist!”

    Neither am I, Sean.

    1. My least favorite people in the world: Sean Hannity and Robert Reich. I like to think that means I’m non-partisan.

      1. Hannity is Limbaugh without humor. Of course Limbaugh stopped being funny when Clinton left office so that is not much a of a difference.

    2. It worked for Jon Stewart.

  24. Headmaster claimed 25 of his students had been possessed at his school.

    An emergency meeting was called on Monday after reports that students eyes were rolling into the back of their heads as their bodies spasmed uncontrollably.

    WARNING: If you want to get a reaction at work, crank up the volume before clicking; otherwise, mute.

    1. These people need jobs.

    2. after reports that students eyes were rolling into the back of their heads as their bodies spasmed uncontrollably

      Just A Description, Not A Euphemism.

    1. We need to stop these campus erections now!

    2. ‘We the undersigned stand in solidarity with the individuals who took the brave action of dismantling the wall in front of Kappa Alpha Fraternity House,’ a statement on the petition read.

      ‘This wall, although a tradition carried on by Kappa Alpha for many years, has been a source of aggression towards students of colour on this campus, and this year, with the addition of the labels “Trump” and “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN,” has become overtly threatening towards Muslim and Latino students.’

      So some people violate property rights, and knock down the wall and chuck the sandbags all over the place because they take offense to a candidate’s slogan painted on it and it’s the property owners that are ‘aggressors’ in this story? If any Muslim, black or ‘Latino’ is so grievously injured by seeing some sand bags with a slogan on it, then fuck ’em. Offend them more often and harder, maybe the sustained assault upon their feelings will inspire them to crawl under a bridge and die, making the world a better place.

  25. Ted Cruz’s college days as a widely hated masturbator have come back to haunt him.

    A journalistic investigation into Cruz’s days as solicitor general of Texas has turned into a wider inquiry into the presidential candidate’s self-pleasuring as a college student. Writing in Mother Jones, David Corn reported that while defending a dildo ban in 2003, Cruz’s office issued a statement staying, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.”

    This news provoked Craig Mazin, who was Cruz’s roommate at Princeton in the late 1980s, to issue a tweet that contains perhaps too much information:

    Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to “stimulate their genitals.” I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.
    ? Craig Mazin (@clmazin) April 13, 2016

    1. Mazin’s tweet provides further proof of a fact amply documented in earlier articles: that Cruz, aside from being a chronic wanker, was intensely unpopular in college. As Patricia Murphy noted in a Daily Beast article:

      [S]everal fellow classmates who asked that their names not be used described the young Cruz with words like “abrasive,” “intense,” “strident,” “crank,” and “arrogant.” Four independently offered the word “creepy,” with some pointing to Cruz’s habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived.

      This is just the beginning. If Cruz becomes the Republican nominee, we’ll likely hear more about his off-putting college behavior.

      1. Cruz’s habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived.

        HE IS A MONSTER!

        1. Yeah, lolwut?

      2. “…described the young Cruz with words like “abrasive,” “intense,” “strident,” “crank,” and “arrogant.” Four independently offered the word “creepy,”

        So Cruz hasn’t changed!

        But tell me, which of the current candidates could NOT be described by these very same words?

      3. Jimi Hendrix was discharged from the US Army due to excessive masturbation.

        1. Define “excessive.”

        2. What does the Army consider “excessive”?

          Asking for Der, um, a friend.

        3. All along the watchtower?

          1. *riotous applause *

        4. How did they quantify “excessive?”

        5. These masturbation references aren’t very abstract anymore.

          1. So, did that spoil it for you?

            1. Maybe this meme has blown it’s load

              1. Well, it always left me relaxed and smiling.

            2. Maybe we have been working it too hard.

      4. People who won’t even give their names describe someone willing to express his opinions as “abrasive” and “intense.” This and the fact that he did his job is what we’re using as criticism now?

        1. Since when is “just doing muh job” an excuse. Hell, it isn’t even a good reason, let alone a good excuse.

          1. Yeah, defending laws that aren’t obviously unconstitutional on the part of the state than enacted the law is a hell of a good reason. Unless you’re more of a “let the AG/SG pick and choose what he likes” in which case you should love that Clinton won’t be prosecuted.

            1. Yes. The most obvious conclusion is that I object due to my immorality and antagonism to rule of law. I mean, why the fuck not, let’s go with that. Why else would “just doing muh job” not be a problem, haha, oh that’s just so silly!

              1. Ok, so a public official is a bad actor for doing his job, when…?

                And a bad actor for not doing his job, when…?

              2. “Just doing my job” could be a problem. It isn’t necessarily a problem.

                If you think it’s appropriate for an AG/SG to refuse to defend, based on the subject matter of the law, duly enacted laws that aren’t obviously unconstitutional, that’s fine. I don’t think it’s appropriate. I think it’s appropriate for him to do his job and defend that law to the best of his ability and let the courts sort out whether the law is constitutional or not.

                Just because a law is asinine doesn’t mean it’s unconstitutional. Defending the constitutionality — or the lack of unconstitutionality — of an asinine law doesn’t seem problematic to me unless you’re going to start equating “good” with constitutional and “bad” with unconstitutional.

                1. Personally, about all I needed to read was the “Mazin’s tweet provides further proof of a fact”. No, a tweet does not generally provide proof of anything and the fact that you seem to think it does is pretty good evidence that you’re an idiot. (Note there I said is “evidence”, not “proof”. It may be the case that you do know the difference between evidence and proof, the difference between what somebody said is true and what can be shown to be true, but made a mistake or chosen to use hyperbole for whatever reason. Even though quality journalism lies in generally not making mistakes nor engaging in hyperbole, perhaps you’ve never said you were a journalist?

    2. widely hated masturbator

      Nice band name.

      1. Playlist: I Touch Myself, Turning Japanese, Blister in the Sun

        1. Your forgot “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee,” by Frank Zappa.

          1. Not “Stick It Out”?

        2. Shock the monkey

          1. Aren’t pretty much all of Peter Gabriel’s songs about his dong?

            1. Yeah, Sledge Hammer was, too, I guess.

              Also, Peaches sings about her vag a lot.

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31kYXDJenSg

              P.S. Putting NSFW on a video like that is wrong, right? I mean, a) it makes it look like a trigger warning, which is icky and b) if I tell you it’s Peaches singing about her vag, that should be all the NSFW you need.

              For all I know, your boss likes that kind of thing.

            2. “Big Time”?

  26. Shoe Company: Obama Admin Pressured Us to Stay Quiet on TPP

    New Balance officials say one big reason is that they were told the Department of Defense would give them serious consideration for a contract to outfit recruits with athletic shoes.

    But no order has been placed, and New Balance officials say the Pentagon is intentionally delaying any purchase.

    1. not a hint of corruption with this administration.

      1. also how stupid is new balance, it’s obvious the people your talking to aren’t on the level , you know they are snakes get the contract first and than campaign against it anyway. They approached you, you have the advantage.

  27. Bye Bye Theranos. All the bullshit has finally caught up to Elizabeth Holmes.

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/…..ting-busin

    1. I think we may have hit peak turtleneck.

      1. It peaked with Steve McQueen. I blame Rand Paul for trying to bring it back.

        1. I think you’re missing the Holmes factor:

          http://tinyurl.com/hklqvwa

          1. I saw the photos and I laughed at your comment. That woman’s fashion icon is Diane Keaton.

    2. Incidentally, I think a lot of the hostility I’ve seen against her is a reaction to her personal branding.

      A nice chunk of it is because she circumvented the FDA and her competitors didn’t (which makes me slightly skeptical of what the FDA says about the technology).

      The rest of it is because she failed to deliver on schedule. Her technology may well work as advertised . . . eventually. It may just not be ready for prime time.

      This may be an example of reporting regulations getting in the way of innovation. If new technology companies are forced to make predictions about how well their products will work, and they can only go by what’s happened in the lab, there are going to be misfires. Pharmaceutical companies don’t really know how well their products will really work based on trials either. Nobody knows until it’s deployed in the real world.

      If Microsoft rolling out SP1 fixes doesn’t mean Windows 7 is a failure. It means you can’t foresee the problems associated with rolling out to hundreds of millions of configurations.

      Theranos was disappointing when it went live. Okay. That happens a lot. Maybe they were overly ambitious. Maybe they did the wrong things when things started going south. I’m still a fan of innovative capitalism anyway.

      1. Very few of their tests involved innovative technology. What they failed to do was build a lab that renders accurate results.

        1. “On October 28, 2015, the Food and Drug Administration also revealed major shortcomings in the company’s practices and ordered Theranos to stop using its Edison device, which it had neither tested for accuracy nor approved, contrary to the company’s previous claims.[17] Theranos was ordered to limit its use of Edison to one of the 200 tests it offers.”

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theranos#FDA

          They were ordered to stop doing 199 of the 200 tests they did using Edison–because they had circumvented FDA approval.

          That Edison device is extremely innovative. It’s the whole Theranos story, really.

          Since then, people have started questioning the accuracy of tests using Edison.

          1. Supposedly, Theranos was running a lot of the test concurrently on regular equipment to test and calibrate their Edison devises. I guess they were too busy raising capital and giving interviews to bother.

      2. Everything I’ve read about the whole deal leads me to believe a huge dose of skepticism is in order. It is possible there was a huge leap in the technology but extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence and it wasn’t just the FDA who had no evidence that met the stupid FDA definitions of evidence. Theranos was claiming they could do a whole array of tests on a very small sample and nobody else knew of any way that was possible. You need a certain amount of blood to do certain types of tests and not every test uses the same sorts of procedures so you need multiple samples. Even if they’ve figured out a way to do some of the tests using less blood or a way to combine types of tests so you need fewer samples, it’s asking a lot to believe they’ve gotten it down to just a fraction of the procedures using a fraction of the blood for each procedure.

        Edison’s claim to have invented a viable, marketable lightbulb was not really revolutionary since many people knew such a thing was not only possible but likely and there were a lot of people working on the specific technology – what Theranos claimed to have developed came totally out of nowhere. It’s as if Edison had invented the transistor radio – he would have had to have practically invented a whole new field of science. Their Edison machine is a black-box technology that nobody in the business knows how it could even possibly work. At least that’s my understanding of the story.

  28. In related news, Hillary Clinton’s unfavorable numbers continue to grow.

    “Hillary Clinton’s favorability ratings are historically low and increasingly a concern for her supporters.

    Clinton is now viewed unfavorably by 55 percent of the electorate, according to the HuffPost Pollster average, which tracks findings from 42 different polling outfits. Only 40.2 percent of people view her favorably, according to that average.

    An Associated Press/GfK poll released last week also found 55 percent giving Clinton an unfavorable rating. In the most recent Gallup poll, released late last month, her unfavorable number was 53 percent versus only 42 percent who saw her favorably.”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/ca…..-dem-fears

    According to your David Duke poll, 36% see Cruz favorably while 53% saw him unfavorably with 11% saying they had no opinion.

    When you line that up against Hillary’s ratings, she’s actually doing worse than Cruz.

    55% see Hillary unfavorably, but 53% see Cruz unfavorably.

    4% have no opinion of Hillary, but 11% have no opinion of Cruz.

    We shouldn’t be comparing Trump to David Duke, and we shouldn’t really be comparing Trump to Cruz among both Democrat and Republican voters either. If we’re measuring unfavorability among both Democrats and Republicans, we should measuring Trump against Clinton and Cruz against Clinton.

    And in that contest, it looks like Cruz is poised to beat Clinton if he’s nominated.

    1. The only other top-tier Presidential candidate to get these sorts of negtives was Elizabeth Bathory.

  29. Just in case you thought it was just Trumpsters who were losing their minds this election season

    I’ve heard and read a lot about the “angry middle class white male” voter lately. Well, let me tell you that I fit that description.

    I’m so “blanking” pissed I can’t see straight!

    I’m angry that white middle class males support a Republican Party that has done nothing but shatter their lives, send their kids off to endless war, wrecked their labor rights, screwed their wages and told their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and granddaughters that “they aren’t smart enough and emotionally secure enough” to control their own health care.

    Rant continues for a good while.

    Read the comments if you dare.

    1. Let me guess, the author’s answer was for middle class white males to support the TEAM that has vilified them for decades instead?

      1. If we just find the right Team to elevate the right demographic at the expense of everyone else, this’ll all be okay! Really, it’s that simple!!

    2. That’s the leftist elitism that the blue collar, white, middle class that’s driving that traditional Democrat constituency into the arms of Donald Trump.

      If Donald Trump’s campaign staff had stayed up all night trying to write a better post to help drive more blue collar, whites into their waiting arms, the couldn’t have come up with anything better than that piece.

      1. They are for the most part, completely and totally self-unaware. I think there is one lone comment in the 122 that says demonizing the competition’s support isn’t helping their cause. Most of it is along the lines of:

        Not only are these guys cowards they are ignorant. Their continued support of people and policies that create more and more suffering, theirs included is why public education is so crucial to our democracy. Since the Reagan era our public eduction has suffered on all levels. In current so called red states elected representatives have cut huge amounts millions upon millions for higher education. At the same time college has become prohibitively expensive for many of us. As a result IGNORANCE is becoming the status quo. Ignorance supported by and leading to extreme philosophies, ignorance supported by the notion that everybody must agree with my point of view or suffer hate, harassment and persecution. This is patently absurd and is 100% antithetical to any and all democratic practices and principals. The behind the scenes powers that be and big monied interest know that ignorant people are much easier to brainwash, manipulate and control. This is why “higher education” is becoming out of bounds for most Americans. It is also why we need to run progressive, educated, ethical and non-religious extremists for local school boards. All of us need to work our hearts out for the destruction of ignorance.

        1. Yep, as a resident of MA, I can confirm that the educational blob is full of right wingers pumping right wing hate into kids.

          1. The idea that public education is dominated by right wingers is laughable at best.

            And what are democratic practices and principals other than worship of mob rule?

            1. I have never understood the democracy worshipers. Lynching is what democracy in action looks like.

        2. So they want to install a progressive theocracy instead that can’t tolerate dissent?

          1. Who knows? Personally I think they’re just dangerously nutty.

            And as our future becomes warmer and less hospitable to lifeforms. Thanks in large part to efforts of shareholders investing against us all hearing the truth. They would like to make sure we have as few benefits as possible because they know fully well they will be needed more than ever.

        3. Democratic Underground comments are hilarious because there are always one or two comparatively sane posters scratching their heads at the lunatics. The best is when they start talking about how great Maduro or Castro are and you have two-three commenters who are just like “what the fuck is wrong with you people?”

          1. The rant posts really bring out the loons. It’s like wandering into a room full of maladjusted hippies.

            1. That sounds… unpleasant.

        4. “This is why “higher education” is becoming out of bounds for most Americans.”

          More Americans are in college today than ever before in the history of our country, including on a per capita basis. My favorite part about DU is the way they get basic facts wrong.

          1. “college” and “education” are not synonyms. A lot of the people in college are not getting an education.

            It is, however, for reasons unrelated to the claims made by that website.

            1. Higher education is a synonym for college though. Even if people don’t learn anything, it’s still called higher education.

        5. “Since the Reagan era our public eduction has suffered on all levels”

          Yeah, that’s totally the fault of the Republicans who notoriously seized control of universities in the ’80s and turned them into right-wing indoctrination centers.

          1. At least they recognize that doubling or tripling per-pupil spending hasn’t helped.

            Right?

    3. I think the author just makes things up.

    4. “told their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and granddaughters that “they aren’t smart enough and emotionally secure enough” to control their own health care.”

      Wait, aren’t the supporters of single payer the ones telling people they aren’t smart enough to control their own healthcare?

      1. Good point.

  30. Brilliant article on the 3 stages of civilization – Barbaric, Vigorous and Decadent.

    http://sultanknish.blogspot.co…..dents.html

    1. Gay marriage, like so much else, is the symptom of a decadent elite that confuses its own power and privilege with civil rights, that wants to legalize its illicit behaviors even though it only embarked on them because of their illicitness.

      And FrontPageMag wonders why nobody takes them seriously.

      “Come on gays, just STFU already so we can be vigorous. Just be happy we don’t murder you like those barbarians over there.”

      1. Look, you’re only gay because it’s taboo. Just admit it already. If not to us then at least to yourself.

  31. Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton will face off tonight in Brooklyn at a Democratic presidential debate airing on CNN.

    Fuck that, Peter Mulvey is on Concert Window tonight. Much less depressing.

  32. According to a new poll, Donald Trump “is the most unpopular top-tier presidential candidate over more than three decades…except for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.”

    So David Duke was a top tier presidential candidate? I didn’t know you couldn’t get to the top tier with less than one percent of the popular vote.

    1. 1. I can use a lot of adjectives to describe the leader of the race, but “unpopular” wouldn’t be one of them
      2. what you said.

      1. “I can use a lot of adjectives to describe the leader of the race, but “unpopular” wouldn’t be one of them”

        He’s the leader of the Republican nomination with something like 37% of the vote. When you’re leading one party’s primary with slightly more than 1/3rd of the vote, it’s possible for you to still be wildly unpopular with the general population.

        1. First, this year’s Republican primaries have had the highest turnout of any Republican primary since 1980. The primaries have drawn 17.8% of registered voters. To put that into perspective, the 2012 Republican Primaries drew a bit over 9%

          http://www.pewresearch.org/fac…..08-record/

          So even if the 37% figure were true, it represents more actual voters than any front runner since Reagan. A 37% share of a pot that large is as many voters as a 60% share of the 2012 pool.

          Second, the 37% share is deceiving. The field was large to begin with and the party has kept Kaisich in the race for the single purpose of creating a divided convention. They have never done that in the past. In any other primary, the party would have been forcing candidates out to try and get everyone behind the front runner.

          1. There’s no evidence Trump’s vote total would have been much higher even with a smaller field. Head to head I think Cruz would have won easily, especially since he would have gotten every Texas delegate if it hadn’t been for Rubio splitting the vote. Trump has a very pro-Trump base and is not popular with people who aren’t already voting Trump.

            “So even if the 37% figure were true, it represents more actual voters than any front runner since Reagan”

            So what? Hardly anyone votes in primaries. Even if it’s high turnout *for a primary* it’s still an insignificant portion of the total electorate. Furthermore, Trump’s atrocious favorability ratings don’t even scratch the surface of how much people hate him. If you asked people who view Cruz, Hillary and Trump unfavorably who they hate the most, Trump wins that question in a landslide. That’s why he can’t win – because people who view both Trump and Hillary unfavorably would still overwhelmingly vote for Hillary.

            1. There’s no evidence Trump’s vote total would have been much higher even with a smaller field

              Yes there is.

              In a head-to-head matchup between Trump and Cruz ? with Kasich voters re-allocated to their second choices ? the Manhattan real-estate mogul earned 46 percent support, compared with 37 percent for Cruz and 12 percent undecided. While the Texas senator drew slim advantages among tea party supporters, white, born-again evangelicals and those describing themselves as very conservative, Trump drew far greater support from voters who described themselves as somewhat conservative, moderate or liberal, as well as among men, women and those 45 years and older.

              http://www.politico.com/story/…..ich-221111

              Trump has consistently been the number 2 choice of a large number of Republicans. The Never Trump crowd is mostly journalists not actual Republican voters.

            2. This reminds me that a week or so back I saw one of Trump’s shills repeating the lie that Trump had an “historic” win in South Carolina by getting more votes than any other GOP candidate ever – despite the easily-checked fact that Newt Gingrich got more votes in 2012 than Trump got in 2016.

        2. And only with an outright lie and some serious intellectual dishonesty can you make the case that Trump’s unpopularity is on par with that of David Duke. The media hates Trump. The Republicans hate Trump. The Democrats hate Trump. The grievance brigades hate Trump. Nick “I Happen to Support Welfare” Gillespie turns into a pissy twelve year old for every article he writes about Trump.

          I was planning on not voting this election, but the aforementioned dumbfucks are tempting me.

          1. Yeah Free Society. None of the choices are good. Trump, however offers to advantages the others do not. First, he pisses of the people you mention. Second, maybe electing a reality TV star President and finding out he is no worse than the rest and in some ways better will do something to discredit the cult of the Presidency and the Top Man in this country. Our political class is composed almost entirely of delusional morons. Virtually anyone you picked at random out of the phone book could do better and would have to try awfully hard to do worse.

            1. I’d be fine with a decades long interregnum,

            2. “Second, maybe electing a reality TV star President and finding out he is no worse than the rest and in some ways better will do something to discredit the cult of the Presidency and the Top Man in this country”

              Uh, no. It will give us Prez Kardashian or Prez Dr Phil.

              1. And since that would be no worse than what we have, what difference would it make?

  33. Hi everyone,

    I went to Montreal last week and did my Permanent Residency shakedown at Uncle Sam’s consulate, and was approved as new tax livestock for The Farm. Once my passport and paperwork came through in the mail, I went down to the Peace Bridge crossing at Buffalo to make it official. Buddy at the booth took my passport, and motioned for me to go to the waiting room inside.

    In the waiting room, there were two televisions, one at either end. One was blaring the show ‘COPS’, where the local mafioso are shown beating down people’s doors, destroying property, and extorting monies from the Tax Cattle.
    The other TV was showing some douche on FOX discussing the merits of America being lead by either a known criminal and warmonger, Hillary Clinton, or a loudmouth douchebag fascist, Donald Trump.

    Now, I’ve crossed the border a zillion times in my trucking career and for visiting friends and family, but for the sake of argument, let’s say the other two dozen people in the waiting room had never been to America before. What does it say that Customs and Border Patrol, in a US government building which ostensibly welcomes foreigners, is playing two TV’s blaring mindless statism worship to guests and newcomers to their country?

    Anyways, I’m on the Farm now, let’s go and see what kind of treatment I get applying for a Social Security Number. Wish me luck!

    1. Wait… you want to move to this country?

      1. As bad as it’s getting here, it still beats most of the rest.

        ?\_(?)_/?

        1. As bad as it’s getting here, it still beats most of the rest.

          That would be a fantastic campaign slogan for a libertarian that wanted to garner the independent vote and get into the double digits.

          1. There are indeed many plusses to living in America, though, given the reaction I get from people all across the board who think Canada is some utopia, you would think this place was a gulag or something.

            1. We’re still pretty good on guns and free speech. I’m not so sure about the rest anymore.

          2. Yeah. First of all, you don’t want to live anywhere that doesn’t have a western standard of living. Even if you have money, living around lots of people who don’t sucks. So that eliminates most of the world as any kind of an option. As far as the rest of the world, as bad as the US is, it is still generally more free than the rest of the world.

            The big thing is gun rights and self defense. I really love the European way of living. There are a lot of advantages to it. But you can’t own a gun in most of those places and the self defense laws. Even as crazy as it has become, I could live in London, except for the fact that if some Pakistani shithead ever broke into my house, I would have no legal means of defending myself. That is a complete deal breaker for me.

            Same with Australia. Everyone tells me it is awesome, but you can’t own a gun there. Fuck that.

            1. You can own a gun in Australia. It just means more paperwork, but it can be done. Their gun laws and acquisition processes are quite similar to Canada’s.

              1. I thought they forcibly bought back all of the legal guns. I wonder what their self defense laws are like.

                1. You can still have rifles and shotguns if you meet certain requirements. The requirements are stupid, and the hurdles you must clear are onerous, but long guns can still be had.

                  Unknown what happens to you should you actually have to defend yourself. No one ever gave me any trouble in my four visits there.

            2. The UK is pretty good at breeding their own shithead petty criminals too. Just sayin’.

              1. Sure Zeb. But this may come as a shock to you but the UK has a real problem with Muslim criminality. Call me when there are gangs of English Yabbos raping young girls for years and with the acquiescence of the authorities. Then we can talk about the problem of English born crime.

                1. So the fuck what? Where the fuck did I say there wasn’t? You are just as victimized wherever the burglar is from. You make it sound like the only threat in the UK is filthy Pakistanis, which is just not true.

                  You had to insert Pakistanis into a discussion about your rights to self defense in other countries, which is utterly irrelevant.

                2. Call me when there are gangs of English Yabbos raping young girls for years and with the acquiescence of the authorities.

                  You were talking about home invaders and your ability to defend yourelf. Are you a young girl?

            3. I like that the home invader in your story is “Pakistani.”

              The figures showed that the majority of males who were accused of violent crimes in 2009?10 [in London] were black. Of the recorded 18,091 such accusations against males, 54 percent accused of street crimes were black; for robbery, 59 percent; and for gun crimes, 67 percent.

              Zomg! Pakistani home invaders! GET THE GUNS, MAW!!!

              1. The majority were black. And I am sure none of those were Muslim. Yeah I know, Muslims are wonderful. God you guys are rubes.

      2. Wife Unit is American, we both want kid units to grow up, at first, near her parental units.

        I’ve traveled extensively in America, my Dad lived here for 10 years, 3 cousins live here, been to 49 states. I might as well be American already, given my political outlook versus everyone else’s in Canada.

        But no, I never thought I would actually move here until I met her.

        1. You know who else’s wife has a unit…

          1. Elton John?

          2. Christopher Guest?

      3. Re: UnCivil Servant,

        Wait… you want to move to this country?

        Like, who doesn’t, man? That’s why we need a wall!

    2. I had a immigrant friend who was from Canukistan. She started out in Chicago, hated it, then moved to the south. She became a gun nut, met a nice guy, got married and moved to Texas. She is happier than a pig in shit.

      1. If Western Canada could lose the assholes in Toronto and Quebec, it would be one hell of a nice country.

        1. John – Hit the nail on the head.

          Though once you get well north of Toronto and Montreal, the countryside is beautiful beyond measure and a really nice part of the world, except, as you point out, we are ruled by assholes from the south.

          1. I agree. And Montreal is a beautiful city. So beautiful that I could almost live there even with the Frenchmen. Canada is a great country.

            1. I’m going to Montreal in June for the F1 race. Looking forward to it.

              1. I was thinking about doing that. Rufus is up there. If I decide to go, we should have a reason get together.

                1. Well, let me know and we’ll try to plan something. I’ll be there Thursday night through Sunday afternoon – driving back after the race.

            2. For all the bashing we do, yeah, it accords a nice way of life.

              1. It does. And the food is fantastic. Don’t let New Yorkers fool you. Montreal has better bagels.

        2. Except that Vancouver is just to the right of Mao, politically.

  34. What does it say that Customs and Border Patrol, in a US government building which ostensibly welcomes foreigners, is playing two TV’s blaring mindless statism worship to guests and newcomers to their country?

    It says they’re being honest about what incoming foreigners are getting themselves into, i guess.

    1. One of the few honest government agencies around.

  35. Two Russian fighters supposedly fly within 75 feet of the U.S.S. Cook in the Baltic Sea.

    Not even sure that I believe this actually happened. Seems just a little too coincidental this takes place right when the usefulness of NATO is coming into greater question than ever.

    1. Not even sure that I believe this actually happened.

      I know this can be faked, because evidence is silly, but there are photos and video of the fighters. Additionally, the Russians buzzing U.S. ships was fairly common during the Cold War.

      1. And why would the US make something up that makes them look weak and pathetic? It happened.

        1. Seems there was a lot more ‘that’s cool’ than OMG BATTLESTATIONS! from the ship.

      2. Just fucking nuts. If the ships had their Phalanx systems turned on, those planes would be turned to confetti in an instant.

    2. Iowahawk said it best; at this point Putin is just doing doughnuts in Obama’s (and by extension our) front lawn.

      What a Rube. How anyone thought electing a narcissistic weakling like Obama wasn’t going to create a very real chance of us getting into a big war is beyond me.

      1. Don’t worry – if elected, Old Man Sanders will enforce a strict Get Off America’s Lawn policy.

        1. That will work out well. There would be one advantage to a Sanders’ presidency; being a socialist, he would not invade other countries to make them democracies. Sanders would act like every other socialist in history and invade other nations in search of other people’s money. That crazy fucker really would invade Iraq to take their oil, once he runs out of other people’s money here.

          1. Invade Venezuela to steal all their valuable socialism for the US.

            1. Or just bribe them with toilet paper…

  36. According to a new poll, Donald Trump “is the most unpopular top-tier presidential candidate over more than three decades…except for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.”

    Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Godwinning would just be too obvious, but by the gods, we better make it clear that people out there are thinking things that are not allowed. Not. Allowed.

    Fuck off.

    1. No shit. And I am tired of polls being reported like they have some substantive value. Whether you love or hate Donald Trump or any other candidate should not be based on how popular the candidate is. I would think Libertarians of all people would appreciate that.

    2. I know. Also, ‘top tier’ apparently means ‘someone the media obsessed over’ since the only way David Duke was ever a top tier presidential candidate was in the sense that an enormous amount of ink was wasted on a guy who got less than 1% of the vote *in a primary.*

      Getting 0 delegates is apparently top tier these days.

    3. What’s the KKK equivalent of a Godwin? Duking?

      1. I thought Duking was something else.

        1. “Duking” is a fine word that can pull double duty, so to speak.

      2. Forresting?

        DeForresting? No that would be the futuristic medical version of a Godwin…

        1. “I’m a doctor, not a nazi”?

    4. My post was a little complicated above.

      Suffice it to say that by those ratings, Cruz will probably beat Hillary if he’s nominated.

      Hillary’s unfavorability ratings are worse than Cruz’s, but all they had to say about Cruz was that he was almost as bad as Trump/David Duke.

      When fast zombies are chasing them, Trump or Cruz don’t have to run faster than the zombies. They just have to run faster than Hillary.

      And Cruz is beating Hillary on favorability/unfavorability. You’d never know it by comparing him to Trump and David Duke. You’d only know it by comparing his ratings to Hillary’s, which don’t show up in that link anywhere.

      1. “And Cruz is beating Hillary on favorability/unfavorability”

        And the thing about Hillary is that she is one of the worst major presidential candidates in US history. The media’s tried to hold her hand through two primary cycles and she got beaten by Obama and is being given a run by a crotchety old socialist. The more people see Hillary the less they like her.

        Cruz could easily beat her in a general just because she’s even more unlikable than he is and her ratings get worse the longer she’s in a race.

        1. Obama really came out of left field and destroyed her in 2008. Obviously someone did a good job making sure there was no young, upcoming political talent in the Dem field to challenge her this time around. They just didn’t think that people hated her so much that a guy like Bernie Sanders could even challenge her.

          This doesn’t bode well for the Donkeys. Who’s going to run in 2020? The only young “talent” they have are a few mayors and governors who are busy running their Blue states and cities into the ground. Guys like O’Malley and Emanuel couldn’t even win their own states, much less battlegrounds like Ohio and Florida. The cupboard is bare for the Dems at the national level. Their only hope is that the stupid party lives up to its name once again.

          1. Help us, Corey Booker, you’re our only hope.

        2. The problem with Cruz is that if he gets the nomination he’s not going to get the party establishment vote because they hate his guts and he’s not going to get the disaffected non-establishment Trump vote because the establishment loves him so much. Which is of course why Trump is going to get the nomination – because the establishment likes him more than they like Cruz and his supporters love the fact that the establishment hates Trump more than they hate Cruz. Cruz is willing to compromise all his principles by not compromising his principles whereas Trump will never compromise his principle of never having any principles and being willing to compromise any he might ever stumble across.

      2. I think Cruz might beat Hillary but the Bernie Bros would have to be really pissed off and betreyed and stay home for it to happen. If the 16 electorate looks anything like the 12 one did, what state does Cruz win that Romney lost? I don’t see many.

        Your logic about out running zombies applies to Hillary as well. As much as people dislike her, all she has to do is convince the usual suspects to hold their nose and vote for her to keep the evil conservative out of office. She is such a terrible candidate even that might be a tough task for her. But I wouldn’t say it was impossible.

        I think Trump would either be feast or famine. If he were able to bring his negatives down at all before the general election, he likely puts all kinds of states in play that haven’t been in play since the 1980s and likely beats Hillary in a near landslide. If he can’t do that, Trump likely wins few states than Romney.

        1. ” If the 16 electorate looks anything like the 12 one did, what state does Cruz win that Romney lost? I don’t see many.”

          He could beat Hillary in Wisconsin and Ohio. Get Kasich on there as a VP candidate (ugh) and you can definitely take Ohio.

          1. Hillary has been Bloomberg-level anti-2A in the primaries. That hurts her in every swing state.

            1. But once you get the general she can swing back to a more moderate position, as pols often do, and avoid most of that harm. Voters have short memories.

              1. But we have a whole lot of video tape for Republican and NRA ads. Democrats always run left in the primaries, but she went way overboard with some stuff and it’s really going to hurt her.

                1. “But we have a whole lot of video tape for Republican and NRA ads”

                  The stupid party won’t use it unless Trump is the candidate. Then you might see Vince Foster’s corpse doing ads. It would be huuuugely entertaining.

                  1. The Cruz campaign has done some good stuff. The Hillary server / Office Space spoof was great.

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3Z-lXO-99E

          2. You really think a social conservative from Texas is going to beat Hillary in Wisconsin and Ohio in anything but a very pro republican electorate? And if Cruz is the nominee and takes Kasich as his VP, the Trump voters likely stay home and ensure that the electorate looks a lot more like 12 than it did in 14.

            I can’t figure out how people decided Cruz was a strong national candidate. He has had to run so far right and has had to go so far SOCON that I don’t see how he goes back to the center once the election starts. Further, the conservatives in the GOP have lost their minds to such a degree, i don’t see how he is able to get the nomination unless he spends the next three months being the bastard child of Rick Santorum and Milton Friedman.

            1. They said the same about Reagan – who won big. Since then, the GOP has nominated a moderate in every election and either lost badly or won very close races.

              Cruz is no Reagan in terms of charisma, but he does actually inspire the conservatives unlike the rest. And if he wins the nomination, he’ll be running against a deeply flawed candidate.

              1. Reagan was a lot more moderate than people remember. And Reagan was no social conservative.

                I would love to believe there is some silent majority out there for the goofy brand of conservatism practiced by the current GOP, but I really don’t see it.

                1. Reagan sure courted the social conservatives hard in the 1980 primaries. As soon as he had the nomination, he dropped them – just like Cruz would,

                  1. I am not sure Cruz would.

                    1. He’s canny – he will.

        2. “I think Trump would either be feast or famine. If he were able to bring his negatives down at all before the general election, he likely puts all kinds of states in play that haven’t been in play since the 1980s and likely beats Hillary in a near landslide. If he can’t do that, Trump likely wins few states than Romney.”

          Yeah, Trump would get obliterated. I’ve seen polls in *Missouri* that had Trump up 3 points on Hillary. In Missouri.

          He’s lose all the swing states and would probably lose multiple Republican strongholds. He definitely loses Utah.

          1. Yeah and his campaign was going to flame out and he was never going to win the nomination or be any threat to do so. How is that working out for you?

            I think you dismiss a candidate who has driven turnout in the Republican primaries to the highest in 36 years at your peril.

          2. The polls have been egregiously wrong for the last few election cycles. Eric Cantor? Hillary’s big win in Michigan? Cruz in Iowa? I wouldn’t put much stock in those.

            I think Trump would win handily against Hillary. He’s driven unprecedented turnout so far. He should be more concerned about a Bernie nomination.

  37. Spot the Not: Robin’s exclamations from the Batman show

    1. Holy Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors!

    2. Holy Humuhumunukunukuapua’a!

    3. Holy Holocaust!

    4. Holy Priceless Collection of Etruscan Snoods!

    5. Holy Unrefillable Prescriptions!

    6. Holy Purple Cannibals!

    1. I was going to pick 6 because I read it as “purple cannabis”. Now I’m going to pick 5.

    2. I hope you have citations for what episodes the real ones are in.

      1. I got them from wiki.

        NO CHEATING!

    3. #1 is the is.

  38. Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton will face off tonight in Brooklyn at a Democratic presidential debate airing on CNN.

    “Vote for me because I’m cute to your kids!”
    “Vote for me because of my lady parts!”
    This political debate summary brought to you by “Call 1-800-IM-BORED”

    According to a new poll, Donald Trump “is the most unpopular top-tier presidential candidate over more than three decades…except for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.”

    The rules of that poll are rigged!

    Sean Hannity on his admiring coverage of Donald Trump: “I’m not a journalist!”

    “We already know that! You’re still a douchebag!”

  39. Who cares about Kobe’s last game? The Warriors hot 73 wins last nite and Curry went above 400 3’s in a single regular season. Amazing basketball.

    1. I thought the same, and watched the Warriors game until it was settled in the 4th.

      His finish was incredible to watch. He hit some very difficult shots and somehow went from 45 points on 45 shots to 60 points on 50 shots (with 4 free throws).

      The refs definitely swallowed their whistles, but who cares. It was cool.

      Spurs vs. Warriors should be amazing.

      1. The Dubs should trounce them, but they are the closest team in skill to them, but they will lose one or two to the Spurs in SA. It’s nice to see them finally kicking ass after decades of suck.

        1. I thought it was cruel that ESPN had Mark Jackson call win #73.

  40. Bigoted Jew gets bitchy about Michael Moore. Why do I keep getting emails from this total asshole? Ben, take me off your mailing list… I don’t want to hear any more about how you are being targeted by liberal fascists.
    Ben Shapiro ? Verified account ?@benshapiro

    Man who looks like old woman upset that men who think they are old women cannot use women’s bathrooms. http://dailycaller.com/2016/04…..restrooms/ ?

    1. JEWSSSS!!!

      Everyone here knows you are a fascist. You don’t need to prove your anti Jew creed to us.

    2. amsick: “Why do I keep getting emails from this total asshole?”

      He recognizes a kindred spirit.

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