Hit & Run

When Donald Trump Fondled Rudy Giuliani's Breasts in Ultimate Display of New York Values

Meanwhile, the erstwhile "America's Mayor" is voting for the authoritarian billionaire, but not endorsing him.


Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R)

New York Values

tells the New York Times he is voting for his "friend of three decades" Donald Trump for president, but for reasons still unclear, he is not making a formal endorsement of the real estate tycoon and one-time reality TV star. 

The 2001 Time magazine Person of the Year and 2008 GOP presidential also-ran said of Trump, "The man that I know is not the man you see on television. He's a gentleman, he's a good father."

Trump, who at a debate in January was ham-fistedly lambasted by Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, for his "New York values," which Cruz claimed "are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro-gay marriage, focus around money and the media," once memorably expressed his affections for the two-term mayor of Gotham.

In a video produced in 2000 for the Inner Circle, a parody group made up of New York media figures (strictly "No Professional Talent" allowed) which for nearly a century has hosted an impressively-attended annual gala, The Donald staged an intimate encounter with the mayor.

Giuliani, appearing publicly in drag for the third of four times during his tenure as chief executive of the Big Apple, played a distinguished society woman whom Trump finds irresistibly attractive, to the point that the current GOP frontrunner aggressively buries his face in Giuliani's fake bosom. 

It's a wonder that a Cruz-supporting Super PAC hasn't used this nearly 16-year-old video in an attack ad, but clips like this serve as a constant reminder that it's great the internet exists. 

NEXT: Watch Bill Clinton Accuse Black Lives Matter of Defending Gang Leaders, Child Murderers

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  1. Is it authoritarian to force people to make NAZI WEDDING CAKES like Gary Johnson endorses?

    1. I don't know. But for all the Trump bashing, there are a few positions he's taken Reason should find a few kind words on. They've remained silent while finding praise for nearly everyone else. At least a little.

      1. "there are a few positions he's taken Reason should find a few kind words on"

        On any given issue, in fact, there are few positions he's taken . . .

      2. Which doesn't change the fact at all that he's been bashed on positions or attacked even when saying things that Reason at least mostly agrees with. Trump has released something of a plan for healthcare reform that seemed pretty positive for a libertarian. When Trump downplays foreign intervention, Reason simply calls him a liar or incoherent. Yet, multiple Reason writers have pushed the narrative that we can trust Bernie there despite supporting every war started by a guy with a D next to his name.

        1. They've moved away from Bernie as he's shown a glimmer of a chance. Reason is downright "establishment-partisan". Maybe that's what the Koch sponsored content is paying for.

          1. Jeebus Christ, it's a veritable yokelthon of butthurt Trumpalos up in here.

            1. STFU and VOTE TRUMP


            2. Fuck you pearl clutching cosmos.

              1. Methinks you need these pearls more than me. Here, have a whole necklace.

      3. Open Borders Uber Alles!

        Immigration is why his supporters love him and why Reason hates him.

    2. They can always refer their customers to here.

      "We are Special Birthday Cake maker n Wedding Cake, We made by order who want a different thing from the other. "

    3. Only if it's fabulous

  2. Freakin' Giuliani!

  3. "The man that I know is not the man you see on television. He's a gentleman, he's a good father."

    So then we've established that the man we see on television - the one who's garnered mindlessly adoring fans - is not what we'll get as president?

    1. You'd think an ex-prosecutor would be aware of how some clever guy like you could trip him up on his own words.

      1. OBJECTION! OVERRULED! I rest my case.

    2. He will be a good daddy to us all...telling us with whom we can associate, preventing us from having to deal with competition in the marketplace, and making sure we have fewer options when it come to spending our own money.

  4. What's the big deal, it was probably Mardi Gras, everyone has a big party and misbehaves, knowing that the long, stern discipline of Lent is just ahead.

    1. You know why Guliani gets up so early in the morning to see Trump? He wants to be the first lady.


  6. Extry Extry, read all about it. Trump density reaches critical mass on Reason! John is LIVID.

  7. He/she wanted it.

  8. I shall be in my bunk for the foreseeable future. Good night, and good luck.

    1. I didn't think you ever left your bunk.

    2. I came here to say that you would be in your bunk for the foreseeable future.

  9. That booming sound you hear is Eric Dondero climaxing.

    1. Why he was jacking off at the top of the stairs, we may never know.

      1. You mean playing tug of war with the cyclops?

        1. I believe Dondero calls it "flogging the wetback".

          1. Makes sense since his mom calls her fun time "flicking the beaner".

  10. How many times did Giuliani say 911?

  11. In all seriousness, Trump's children have turned out remarkably well, all things considered. Yeah, Junior looks like he walked off the set of The Wolf of Wall Street but, other than that, they seem like decent people and you wonder why the fuck they support their father...

    1. Because he didn't raise them? I don't know. I shouldn't say that. I hate the guy but for all I know he could be dad of the year.

  12. Gives a whole new meaning to bros before hoes.

  13. "Giuliani's Boobies" would be a great band name.

    1. In the 8th circle of hell maybe:)

    2. In the 8th circle of hell maybe:)

  14. A nice tabloid-esque post. Well done, well done.

    1. Seriously.

      Reason turning into pearl-clutching "ZOMG HE WAREZ DA DRAGZ?!?!?!" snoconz?

  15. Maybe Joe Biden should be his running mate. Joe can give Trump a few pointers on cuddling.

  16. How was the Cruz criticism ham-fisted? I'll advised, maybe. But ham-fisted?

    1. Maybe they meant he "basting the ham"

      1. Not even 50 posts, and already way to many masturbation references. I'll be in my bunk.

        1. It's not a happy ham till it's honey glazed.

    2. 1) Cubans like ham 2) They're complimenting Cruz on the size of his paws.

      Reason is being anti-Trump and sneakily pro-Cruz.

    3. How was the Cruz criticism ham-fisted?

      "which Cruz claimed "are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro-gay marriage,"

      Right-to-life and family-values, or "How to turn off independent voters 101."

      Republicans are working overtime to snatch defeat from the hands of victory.

  17. So, I guess we've abandoned 'The Trump campaign is a bunch of brown-shirts' narrative, and now we're smearing him as some kind of closeted, fetishist fan of Twisted Sister?

    There are so many legitimate things to go after Trump for--attacking the legitimacy of his credentials with social conservatives is probably the last thing we should be going after him for.

    I won't vote for Trump, but I'd rather vote for Trump than that neo-con, gun-hating, socialist pandering, social justice warrior, crook, Hillary Clinton--and that's even if Trump got down on his knees and blew drag queen Giuliani like a Kansas tornado.

    I guess that means I'm not a homophobe. Am I supposed to be ashamed of that?

    1. Sometimes, just maybe, an article is just an article and doesn't serve an agenda. I mean, for chrissake, the text mostly stands to denigrate Cruz for his ham-handed pandering to social conservatives.

      1. This post is serving an agenda.

        And it isn't about going after Cruz for his social conservatism. It's going after Trump for his supposedly freakish behavior.

        Like I wrote, there are a lot of legitimate things to go after Trump for. Why not pick one of them?

        1. There are three pieces of color commentary in this very short article.

          Trump ... was ham-fistedly lambasted by Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, for his "New York values," which Cruz claimed "are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro-gay marriage, focus around money and the media,"

          It's a wonder that a Cruz-supporting Super PAC hasn't used this nearly 16-year-old video in an attack ad,

          followed by

          but clips like this serve as a constant reminder that it's great the internet exists.

          Where are you reading this slut shaming of Trump? Hell, he's not even behaving freakishly, Giuliani was the one doing that, Trump appears to be playing the oversexed master of the universe canard.

          And frankly, I'm disappointed Fisher didn't find some way to get a few digs in at the hairless ape and his witless followers.

          1. He's wondering why the Cruz campaign isn't using footage of Trump with drag Giuliani to alienate Republican primary voters, and you don't see what I'm talking about?

            1. It's a wonder Ken Shultz isn't accusing me of cockgobbling Cruz right now. It's a wonder Ken Shultz isn't pulling the lever for Trump as we speak. It's a wonder Fisher hasn't simply given up writing since he obviously can't pen a proper attack piece on Trump.

  18. Trump truly is the troll master of the universe.

    I have never seen so many people lose their shit over one blowhard.

    1. Trump says, "Jump", and his critics don't ask, "How high?".

      They just go all the way to the moon.

    2. Trump is entirely antithetical to libertarian values. So it is exasperating that people embrace him as being some sort of welcome antidote to the political process just because he's not Hillary Clinton or Jeb! Bush.

      Why should anyone root for cyanide over arsenic? Syphilis over hepatitis?

      1. So you're an arsenic guy, are you? Why do you support arsenic?

        1. I thought Arsenio was a good host

      2. The man embodies the rejection of small-government conservatism among people we thought we could count on as erstwhile allies. Early in 2015 I worried the GOP would put up a soggy toe-the-line moderate, and now a third of their primary voters are all in for a full-fledged statist.

        Yeah, we're just nuts for opposing him.

        1. Yeah, we're just nuts for opposing him.

          It's really not that. It's much more the rabid condescending barking at Trump from (the left-leaning) libertarians who treat Bernie Sanders like a well-meaning old fogie with a screw a little loose.

          Trump is a full-fledged statist, he is a populist hack, he is everything that is wrong with politics, but he's no different than the other candidates on the stage. The only difference is his PR strategy. That's what's so bewildering about the piss-your-pants, spittle-flying hatred of Trump like he's Hitler incarnate. He's a more charismatic Hillary, nothing more, nothing less.

          1. Trump qua Trump is pretty harmless, sure, and I do appreciate how hard he trolls the left. But Trump isn't merely another candidate, he's the candidate who put shade over a number of other candidates who might have gotten a chance to square off against Hillary. Would Rubio have been any more palatable? I don't know, but at least the debate would have been a debate. Maybe Rand would have had a chance. Who fucking knows. Instead we've been treated to months of this dumpster fire courtesy of a clown and his rabid clownistas. Honestly, fuck these people.

            1. I see your point. I guess i'm just a little bit more cynical about the alternatives to Trump.

              1. Fair enough. I wanted a horse race and instead we got a midget brawl, and it's not even a midget brawl but a bunch of grown men awkwardly tumbling about with a six-year-old. Nobody gets to enjoy this except the army of six-year-olds lining up behind their guy.

          2. Yeah, I think it's just people responding to the same-old in different, more appealing ("he says what he thinks" = he won't apologize like a phonily contrite wimp; his words aren't clearly scripted and calculated), more entertaining clothes. Maybe it's my deep biases, but the support for Trump, and even that for Hillary, scares me far less than the support for Bernie (even if he has no chance). I think the latter is completely obscene. That a figure who still 'Truly Believes' in some mangled subset of the evilest set of ideologies in world history has progressed as far as he has...... The rest are just incoherent narcissists. Unfortunate, but survivable. Bernie's bullshit, though?and namely the fact that it's taken hold as well as it has,?..... *sigh*

            1. And especially since we'll still have leftist-hero Liz Warren waiting in the wings..

      3. The number one political issue is Power.

        With the current demographics, 10 million more immigrant voters adds up to a permanent Big Government voting majority at the national level. It's the issue that determines all the rest.

        The other angle of Power is that Trump doesn't immediately beg for forgiveness, drop his pants, and bend over whenever the Left shrieks "Racist! Sexist! Homophobe!". That puts him in a position to fight back against the Left in ways that the supposed defenders of limited government won't. You can't win if you don't fight back.

        1. "With the current demographics, 10 million more immigrant voters adds up to a permanent Big Government voting majority at the national level. It's the issue that determines all the rest."

          There is already a permanent Big Government voting majority. And no, I'm not just talking about a Democratic coalition.

          Trump represents the rejection by GOP voters of even the small amount of lip service the establishment pays to limited government, and yet people still have the audacity to claim he's the only one standing between Permanent Big Government because he wants to deport the Mexicans. Astounding.

      4. Because you can get hepatitis from dirty drug users, and it just gives you yellow skin and stuff.
        Syphilis, on the other hand, is the Cadillac of STDs, and slowly drives you mad, but only after you become an Great American Writer.
        Jeez, it's like you don't even Romanticize Disease Meme.

      5. "So it is exasperating that people embrace him as being some sort of welcome antidote to the political process just because he's not Hillary Clinton or Jeb! Bush."

        It isn't about Hillary or Jeb.

        If there's a silver lining to this dark cloud, it's that Trump's success may represent America becoming less susceptible to the crusades of social justice warriors and they're political correctness.

        I'm as disgusted by communism as the next libertarian, but what libertarian was happy about McCarthyism and the Red Scare? If McCarthy's fall represented the beginning of the end of the Red Scare, maybe Trump's rise might represent the beginning of the end of the reign of terror the politically correct left has been waging against the rest of us--especially over the last eight years. We can only hope.

        Certainly, the success Trump has had hasn't merely been in spite of his being politically incorrect. I's been because of his political incorrectness, hasn't it.

        P.S. Just because Trump is a corporatist, a statist, and hostile to free trade doesn't mean he's as openly hostile to capitalism, gun rights, and other things I care about as Sanders or Clinton. If those distinctions are real, why shouldn't we point them out to people who are going to vote for one of them?

        1. If there's a silver lining to this dark cloud, it's that Trump's success may represent America becoming less susceptible to the crusades of social justice warriors and they're political correctness.

          You're much more optimistic than me. I think it represents the Right learning the Left's tactics and attempting to impose its own, more brash, political correctness.

          1. Like I said, Trump has been successful--not in spite of being called a racist for numerous positions. Trump has been successful because he's been called a racist for those positions.

            That fact is so mind-blowing to social justice warriors in the media, they keep calling him out for his racism--and are expanding his support base into traditional Democrat demographics for doing so.

            That can't be indicative of nothing. Maybe denouncing the white, blue collar, middle class for being racist because they're white, for being stupid because they're religious and blue collar, and for being selfish because they're middle class can't deliver the swing vote to Democrats forever. Should we find that surprising?

  19. This has the worst headline Reason has ever written. It's nightmarish.

    1. "Bad" means "awesome", right?

      1. It isn't quite as bad as the series accusing the Trump people of being a bunch of brownshirts, but that isn't saying much.

        Maybe next week they'll accuse Trump of being a transvestite kissing, brownshirt, ISIS supporter, who wants to throw teenage girls in prison if he catches them in a back alley with a coat hanger.

  20. First Lady Rudy is more demure than First Lady Melania. This is the concession Trump makes to win a brokered convention.

  21. It's a wonder that a Cruz-supporting Super PAC hasn't used this nearly 16-year-old video in an attack ad

    Cruz has already thrown away the NYS vote, does he really need to throw away the transvestite & friends vote too?

    1. Caitlyn endorsed him.

      1. Ah but she is more a pre-op transsexual. Cruz is totally angling for that vote.

        1. Ah, yes. Pre-op vs. cross dresser. I still don't understand New York politics. I just wish it would go away.

          1. You may not be interested in New York politics, but it's *very* interested in you.

            And wants your number.

            1. Only if you're shipping us guns. Or cigarettes.

              /don't do that

        2. Pre-op transexuals are natural anglers.

  22. If Governor Cornbury's political opponents were right, then Giuliani would simply be in a long and proud tradition.

    1. a long and proud tradition.

      It's what I call my private moments.

      1. Liar. You call them quick and shameful.

        1. Shhh, you. Oh. Oh. Oh. Ok, what were we talking about?

          1. Sticky keyboards?

  23. That's why Daddy gets Milo's vote.

  24. Holy crap, I ran "Donald John Trump" through the Internet Anagram Server and the first result I got was "Hadj London Trump."

    Wake up, sheeple!

    1. Even more sinister, you can rearrange the letters in his name to read "Dunno Mr. Hadj plot."

      In other words, he's a Muslim sleeper agent and his supporters don't know it!

      1. Ha ha, "Damn Turd John Pol."

        1. "Jan Do Rod Nth Lump"? Wow, that's just *nasty.*

        2. "Palm Dud, John Torn"

          1. Holy crap those John ones are great.

        3. Land, Mr Pun Jot "Doh."

    2. I thought the "J" stood for J?sus.

  25. Trump fondling Guiliani? I think it's a good thing I'm drinking a beer.

  26. My conservative friends are threatening to vote for the Bern. My proglodyte acquaintances are threatening to vote for the Donald. I find this all hysterical.

    Honestly, if Satan is elected and that denies Hillary, it will be really hard for me to not feel some degree of satisfaction.

      1. Well, it's just one more reason why he's better than Hillary. Ok, he could be Hitler and still probably be better than Hillary...

        1. Ok, I can't make the Hitler is a libertarian argument. But I can point out that under rule 3 of conspiracy theory logic One can always rearrange letters in a name and even substitute some to show a link and Hillary has many letters in common with Hitler, so I think it is quite clear that Hillary is Hitler.

      2. Funny, I didn't think libertarians liked giving people boils (Job 2:7).

        1. I can also argue that God is a libertarian

          1. Of course God is a libertarian. He gave us monkeys free will.

            1. And the platypus to laugh at. Man, how stoned was God when he invented the platypus?

    1. My conservative friends are threatening to vote for the Bern. My proglodyte acquaintances are threatening to vote for the Donald. I find this all hysterical.

      Am I the only one who sees this election's dramatic shifting of the political landscape an unmitigated good?

  27. Anyone happen to be watching 'Animal House' on AMC?

    The censorship is retarded.

    And pathetic.

    We're a continent of pussies.

    1. Lol, yes. That's just weird, dude. How is it possible we're watching this at the same time. MATRIX IS REAL!

      1. better call saul, new epsisodes....

        Just showing you, I'm not bullshitting, it's on my TV right now.

        1. Followed by a Mini-Cooper commercial!

          1. Ameritrade!

            1. Covering Sutherland's ass with beige slacks was peak absurd.

      2. I'm still watching it though.

        But will switch after to the Denver-North Dakota NCAA hockey game while I work.

        1. What!?!? Working at night!?!? Canada truly is Bizzaro World.

          1. Perks of being the boss?

            1. You didn't build that.

              1. But what was built was meant to be raided by the parasite class anyway, right?

                1. When I grow up, I wanna be the bestest parasite evah. Hey, Rufus, wanna gimme a job for however long it takes before I qualify for un-enjoyment in Canuckistan?

      3. By the way, Gilmore and I were watching 'Young Frankenstein' on TCM not too long ago.

        1. One of the films that was brought up at work today while having lunch with a couple of my comrades. We were talking about how censored stuff is today and how bad that sucks.

          1. I pretty much don't watch movies on TV for that reason. That and the constant commercial interruptions. And the "edited to fit the allotted time".

  28. Not a Rickroll

    "Iconic singer, songwriter, producer, and performer Rick Astley has today announced details of his forthcoming seventh album.

    "Entitled "50" - a nod to the landmark age Astley reached earlier this year ?the album is confirmed for release on June 17th, and is his first new studio album in over a decade.

    "Fans will get their first taste of his new material next month, with lead single "Keep Singing" hitting airwaves, and available to buy and download from April 7th."

    1. Actually, that wasn't a bad song.

    2. The lead singer from Blondie is is still...active

      "Sexagenarian sex keeps the spirit of punk alive

      "Why shouldn't Debbie Harry sing about her sex life at 69?"

      1. oops, meant to post that below

  29. The lead singer from Blondie is is still...active

    "Sexagenarian sex keeps the spirit of punk alive

    "Why shouldn't Debbie Harry sing about her sex life at 69?"

    1. At her age it's more like Bottle Blondie.

    2. She used to hold court at a sleazy NYC industrial club I would frequent in the early oughts. Oh and she just guest judged RuPaul's Drag Race.... Cool lady.

      1. I watch this, I see Martian rovers busting ass across an alien landscape.

        1. Nice. Maybe my favorite song of his.

    3. her name is Debbie Harry, which most people knew at age 13 (because damn she was hot when i was 13)

      And she's actually a wide-ranging, competent musician. She's performed with the Jazz Passengers for the last 2 decades and my buddy has played drums w/ her group on a couple of special occasions. If only every pop star aged like her, we should be thankful.

      1. Lou Reed has.

    1. Couple days early for your weekend links, isn't it Eddie?

      1. I'm trying something different, looking up various artists, seeing if they're still around and if so what they're doing, and sharing the results with you.

        You're welcome.

        Anyway, Gilmore shamed me out of the weekend parade-of-circumcisions which I used to do.

        1. Shine on, you crazy diamond, shine on.

      2. Eddie's a wildcard who plays by his own rules.

        1. Or GILMORE'S.

          1. If it wasn't for Gilmore's influence, I would have alerted you to this story two days ago.

            1. I like deep dish, so thanks!

  30. Wow, I just found that Claude "Guy Who Played Sheriff Lobo" Aikens has been dead for two decades.

    1. I hope you get a hat tip for that.

      1. As long as it's not Adele, I don't care what song is stuck in my head. Man, I hate that chick's music. Have I mentioned that I would rather pound rusty spikes into my ears instead of listening to "Hello From the Other Side"?
        Because I would rather pound rusty spikes into my ears than listen to that song.

        1. There is a man, the legends tell, who stands for what is right
          Like Wyatt Earp, he never shirks, nor cowers from a fight

        2. Hmmm...that sounds like the kind of song that gets less tolerable the more you listen to it.

          But how are you in a position to have to worry about listening to it?

          1. Because it's popular as all hell. Every damn radio station on the continent is playing it, or at least the stations that play the kinda stuff I like. Like Nathaniel Ratliff and the Night Sweats. Now that's good music.
            (I have decided posting links on this phone is too damn hard for a slacker like myself: Do your own damn googling.)

      2. Not clicking that.

        1. He is our Sheriff Lobo,
          mighty Sheriff Lobo.
          Heart of gold,
          oh Lobo-Keep us strong!

        2. Smart. Very smart. Eddie's links are usually auto-play midget transsexual porn.

          1. Hey, that was only one time.

          2. Huh? Now I'm interested.

              1. Those cats were cute.

                  1. Hey! Don't otherize the claw-play community!

                    1. Lick my purrsy!

                    2. Your rejection is literally like rape.

                    3. Saturday nights must be like hell for you.

                    4. Nah, that's my My Little Pony-waifu meeting night.

                    5. Fist-bump.

  31. It's been 25 years since you've smelled boiled football leather. That narrator sounds like Jesse.

  32. Central Planner Barbie is at it again.

    If you've been following the drug war debate for decades you're surely familiar with the Drug Warrior's counter to the argument that legalizing drugs takes down organized violent criminal gangs . Something about how they'll just switch to child sex trafficking/pornography, selling nukes to terrorists or something far worse than profiting off the prohibition. Every drug czar, ONDCP and DEA flack says it.

    When Drugs Are Legal, Gangs Will Diversify

    This offers a lesson for policymakers -- and not just those who focus on drug policy. Often in policymaking there are no backsies; undoing some policy mistake gives you very different outcomes from the ones that you would have gotten if you'd never tried it in the first place.

    That's not an argument for never experimenting, but it is an argument for caution. You break it, you own the outcome.

    1. Why wouldn't they diversify now?

  33. Nerds, join in my lament: http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/07/.....index.html

    Never give up, never surrender

    1. Alan Rickman is hot.

      1. By grabthar's hammer, you're right.

        1. If memory serves, the first time I saw him act was in Die Hard as Hans Gruber.

          I was very impressed.

          1. 99.10% of women who wear black underwear are closet whores

            Rickman was in that awful movie Closet Land

            How do you make such a boring movie about a lingerie- clad Madeline Stowe getting tortured for being an anarchist?

            1. I miss your point, SIV.

              Regardless, the IMDb Storyline for the movie you mentioned is this: "A young writer is interrogated by a sadistic secret policeman. She is accused of embedding political messages in her children's stories. The entire movie takes place in one room, with only the two actors. The movie is set in an unidentified, modern police state. "

              I abhor torture, and am unlikely to watch the movie.

              Were there any salient points an audience member could glean as to why police states and the nearly unlimited power their agents "enjoy" are inherently horrid, do you think, SIV?

              1. My point is, as a Madeline Stowe fan, that is always the first movie that comes to my mind when Alan Rickman is mentioned, despite his far superior work in much better movies. The movie seriously blows except for Madeline Stowe, wearing the sort of clothing featured in my blog, and the ridiculous line I quoted which provides the only (unintentional) laugh in the whole picture.
                Cost me $2 to watch at a second-run house but at least I could smoke and drink beer.

                It was one of those pictures that sounded so much better( in a tepid review) than it actually was.

                1. In your opinion, SIV, did the movie lend an impression (of any meaningful level) that police states/unlimited "tough-on-crime" policies and the "whatever it takes" procedures authorized by same were inherently repellent to an individual of ordinary sensibility?

                  Also - thank you for answering.

    2. Hey! Don't call me a nerd, you geek.

      1. "Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?"

        1. Probably.

          1. Looks around some more, definitely.

    3. I'd let him stroke my Elder Wand.

      1. These masturbation euphemisms are getting enchanting.

        1. He's the Expecto to my Patrocum

      2. You're the Sarris of this thread.

        1. I didn't need to Google that even though I saw Galaxyquest not a few months ago.

          1. I didn't know. * Warm hugs forever*

            1. The warmth is from the urine!

      3. +69 Staff of Penetration

    1. Saying I want to see Uranus is a legitimate part of astronomy!

      1. That's proctology, get it straight.

  34. It's funny, even though Trump is buddy buddy with all these politicians and media types (like Bill O'Reilly), somehow he's an "outsider"

    1. Trump is outer-borough nouveau rich trash

      He's not even New York establishment


      1. Yes, I am "nouveau riche," but then, it's the "riche" that counts, now isn't it?

        (Not a D.Trump quote, but perhaps apt regardless)

    2. Well, Bill *is* down with "the folks."

  35. After reading all these jokes, I can no longer sit idly by and say nothing.
    Dear Daddy,...

    1. Fuckin' whore. That slut should be ashamed of herself.

      1. That got a hearty guffaw out of me. I need to call my mommy.

    2. What the hell was that mess?

      1. Did that leave a sour taste in your mouth? Now you know how she feels.

        1. I'll leave a salty taste in that bitch's mouth.

        2. Don't show up pregnant at highschool, and people might not call you bad names. Duh.

    3. straffinrun,

      I admit that right now I'm at a loss with regards to the video for which you provided a link. I didn't watch the entire video, and thus there might be some salient points made near the end which I missed seeing.

      Perhaps on another thread you will tell me what you thought of the video - the objective(s) of the creators and the hopes that the actors and actresses had foremost in their minds when they "signed up" for the video.

      My sense is that the creators and actors and actresses took the project seriously.

      1. What came across from the project is that all of the consequences of the girl protagonist's actions were caused by males, such as her daddy, having used ungoodthinkful words. Yay, feminism!

        1. Some kid in junior high school makes an inappropriate joke. Future rapist! And you laughed. Enabler! This pile of dogshit video is entirely based on appeal to emotion. When did ATE stop being a logical fallacy?

    4. My generation had Riot Grrrls as a feminist ideal.

      this generation has Crybabies as their feminist ideal.

      1. Generation why?

        Can I just claim Mary Weiss and Mary Margaret O'Hara as my feminist ideals?

        And maybe some other Mary. I can't remember.

        1. The Shangri-Las and Donald Trump are both from Queens.

            1. The wonderful couple that spawned Sudden: also from Queens.

              I'm sensing a trend of greatness.

              1. Queens is the greatest Rock n' Roll town outside of Cleveland and Detroit

              2. Kiss, the Ramones = Queens

      2. And yet you all act baffled at Trump's appeal?

        Sure, his appeal to working class whites is preserving a manufacturing base for blue collar workers. But for many of us in the white-collar world, his appeal is the total annihilation of this culture of victimhood and softness.

        1. And yet you all act baffled at Trump's appeal?


          I've been routinely accused of "defending" Trump for bothering to point out that his policy bluster means nothing, but his 'public derision' of his own critics means everything. His refusal to apologize under pressure (even when he's clearly wrong) is his appeal.

          I don't like the guy in the slightest, but i completely recognize why other people are gravitating towards him. I don't believe however that he's actually ""the total annihilation of this culture of victimhood"" at all. People project that onto him. He's actually supportive of NY-style nanny state laws despite being a loudmouth dick who people see as "anti PC".

          His appeal is 'what he's NOT'. Not anything to do with policy or any particular intellectual or personality assets (aside from boneheaded stubbornness) that he has.

          1. Not you in particular. More directed at the menagerie of the H ampersand R commentariat. Though to be fair I only seldom make it on here of recent due to other obligations and I wasn't aware of you being accused of Trump defense. I have seen enough to see that you have a pronounced distaste for him, viewing him a charlatan.

            1. if i do ever defend the guy - it would be about the things that he actually says which he (theoretically) probably deserves at least a nod of credit for... such as his suggestion (which conservatives freaked out about) of making NATO pay for their own security, and other allies (SK, Japan, etc) less reliant on American military and diplomatic power making policy *for* them.

              (eg. why are we the #1 party challenging China's incursion in the South China Sea? every Asian nation relies on that corridor for trade. we have a great deal of interest there, but we should be one of many rather than being the sole power sticking its neck out.

              What's so hilarious is that this was the sort of thing that Reason would have gushed with joy to hear from Rand Paul, but when he says it? (*and granted, you can't trust him to hold the same view for more than a month) Its at best 'ignored', and more likely mocked as 'crazy'

              1. There are a few issues that I think we can reliably say Trump believes/is consistent on: immigration (being the issue that he threw his hat into the ring over, likely planning to be a protest candidate that would push the issue front and center), trade policy (something he has been talking about for three decades now, starting with Japan and now onto China and Mexico), and war/intervention (he opposed the war in Iraq early on and has made statements questioning a number of other US interventions ex post facto)

              2. Trump's held the paleocon foreign policy at least all of this century. I'm equally intrigued by his embrace of drug legalization (as a tea teetotaler) for over 20 years. The anti-Trumps dismiss this as "pandering:" but who the fuck was he pandering to? Total legalization is not something to further your political career, it's more like a "principled position". One that obviously needs to be downplayed when running for national office. Trump has neither recanted nor repudiated it.

                Shit goes a long way to offsetting the trade protectionism and immigration restrictionism in my book.

                1. I've always been a proponent of immigration restrictionism so that's never been a demerit in my mind. And frankly, I'm coming around on his opposition to "free" trade these days as well. Oddly enough, it was somewhat planted in my head by Ron Paul, whose opposition to agreements like NAFTA caused me to investigate further and gave me a justifiable skepticism about managed trade agreements. That combined with a knowledge of the obvious and intentional currency devaluation that China has engaged in in order to benefit their exports has opened me up to Trump's position on trade.

        2. Trump isn't annihilating the culture of victimhood, he's putting himself on top of the victimhood pyramid. He's the crybully of the first order: "Oh, Lyin' Ted said something mean about me!"

          1. Pointing out that someone has attacked you does not by itself constitute playing the victim card. He generally frames it in such a way that they attack him because of his strength.

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