A.M. Links: Bernie vs. Hillary, Cruz vs. Trump, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Teaser Trailer Released

• 

  Credit: CNN

  Bernie Sanders: Hillary Clinton is "not qualified" to be president.

• Ted Cruz "has outmaneuvered Trump in all the caucus states" and is positioning himself to enjoy "a tactical advantage should the party's presidential nomination come down to a rare contested convention."

• The Drug Enforcement Administration is considering whether to reschedule marijuana. Such a move would mean that marijuana would no longer be listed as a substance that has "no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse."

• According to a new report, one of the Brussels suicide bombers worked briefly as a cleaner at the European Parliament.

• Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

• Today is National Beer Day.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Starring Jar-Jar.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Meesa thinks thisa movie gonna muy muy suck!

[KDN]

Wait, Jar Jar is Mexican now? I guess that explains Trump.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Listen to his first quote here.

I didn't make up his stupid language. I blame George Lucas, Jamaicans and Mexifornia.

[Notorious UGCC]

"Hey, mon, I may have shot the sheriff, but I did not create Jar Jar."

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I like the theory that Jar Jar is a sith lord.

[Hamster of Doom]

I won't, and you can't make me.

[gaoxiaen]

Jar-Jar Christie? Sorry. That's Jabba the Hutt Christie.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

161) I have a co-worker from Michigan and she recently informed me that the Great Lakes sometimes freeze over completely in winter. I looked this up and it seems that most of the lakes can achieve more than 90% coverage in some years, and Lake Superior has hit 100%. Apparently, winter 2014-15 was a near-record for Great Lakes ice coverage (global warming!).
But this brings me to my idea: massive US-Canada Great Lakes hockey games, with thousands of players. There could be several goals along the shore for each country, and a game could be, say, a month long. It would only take place every few years, whenever one of the lakes is close to completely frozen. I'm pretty sure this would be the ultimate sporting event.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Isn't that how Natives played hockey or lacrosse not so long ago?

http://bit.ly/1q8TbNJ

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

http://bit.ly/1RRpqIA

[Private Chipperbot]

JATNAS, there are huge outdoor tourneys up there every year with hundreds of players. We also have smaller tournaments in the Lapeer area. I prefer to get drunk and play like a normal person inside without the windchill.

[Private Chipperbot]

Sponsored by skunky Canadien beer.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Hockey? Is that some kind of weird Canadian sex act?

I swear, the euphemisms here....

[John]

Great idea. But what goes to the winner?

[tarran]

But what goes to the winner?

THE WOMEN!!!!

[Citizen X]

"The Americans took all of our moose and all of our women! And then they gave them back, which was worse!"

[EMD]

They kept the Moose.

(tear)

[R C Dean]

I think you got a typo there, tarran:

THE WOMAN!!!!

I mean, how many do they really have?

[Zeb]

You'd need a really big Zamboni to make that ice skatable, I think.

[Bee Tagger]

Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

More like Rouge One, am i right? Does a girl star in it? I didn't watch the trailer.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Didn't a girl star in the original one too?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

She identifies as a Bothan. That's all that matters.

[Lee G]

I saw a little on TV this morning. Star Wars is going for the white chick viewing audience.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

It's obviously the "this is how the Bothans stole the Death Star plans" story. It's a good idea and I am sure they can make it into a pretty decent action flick.

As long as they keep Lucas and Abrams away.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Today is National Beer Day.

Seems like cultural appropriation or cultural insensitivity to me.

[Juvenile Bluster]

IIRC, the earliest evidence for beer appears in either ancient Iran or ancient Egypt. So drinking beer is clear cultural appropriation.

[UnCivilServant]

Egypt.

But it was hop-less and more like liquid bread.

[Private Chipperbot]

Dogfish does an Eqyptian brew, I think called Midas Touch. I wasn't a big fan of it.

[UnCivilServant]

Midas was Anatolian, it makes no sense to name an egyptian style brew for the poor bastard's affliction.

[Citizen X]

I read somewhere that the Sumerians may have devoted up to 2/3 of their annual harvest to brewing. Dudes knew how to party.

[Tonio]

Converting grain into beer was a good preservation technique. Grain sitting in a container is subject to rodents, mold, fungus, etc.

[Bill Dalasio]

It was also a useful way of making water potable. People don't often think about it, but for most of history, not getting sick from drinking the water was not something you could count on. Boiling it and infusing it with a little bit of alcohol was a good way of making it drinkable.

[Tonio]

^This. Thanks.

[R C Dean]

I saw a show on the TV recently where they used scummy pond water, unboiled to make beer.

The beer was perfectly safe to drink. The yeast basically outcompeted everything.

[Tonio]

The boiling produces better (stronger) beer, though. Boiling causes the cell walls to burst as the water inside the grain turns to steam. When the walls are broken the sugary goodness leaks out.

And when you have water of dubious quality, as was often the case throughout human history (think fecal contamination from the town upstream), boiling helped with that as pointed out by Zeb above.

[simple man]

The grain is not boiled in beer making. It is steeped in water at around 152F (slight adjustments up or down depending on what style you are making). In this temp range the amylase enzymes are activated and they get to work converting the starch in the grain into fermentable and non-fermentable sugars (this is where the temp adjustments come in). If you were to boil the grain you would extract a large amount of tannin from the grain, and kill all of the enzymes. You would be left with water full of tannins, starch, and protein and nothing fermentable.

You are correct that boiling produces stronger beer, in that it concentrates the wort that is collected after steeping the grains.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

In the 1854 Broad Street cholera outbreak, people who used a single Broad Street water pump got cholera? except the brewery workers who drank the beer.

[Tonio]

Oh, cool. Thanks for that.

[Free Society]

Don't collectivize the Sumerians.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Beer used to be food. People used to drink beer for breakfast.

[Citizen X]

"Used to"?

[Tonio]

Lack of evidence is not evidence of lack. IOW, others could have had it at the same time or before the Egyptians and we just don't know about it. Which illustrates yet another reason why cultural appropriation is BS. You don't ever really know who invented something, or if they really invented it themselves or just stole it from someone else.

[Zeb]

I'm sure anyone who figured out growing grain made some kind of beer.

[Tonio]

Probably so, but don't tell that to the kultural appropriashunz people. They hate it when they can't claim to be special.

[Zeb]

Maybe I underestimate the derpitude, but I don't think the cultural appropriation crowd had gone quite that crazy to include beer. Europe is defintely the place for beer culture.

[Zeb]

As is growing grain, building with stone and money.

[UnCivilServant]

Zeb, Money makes for a lousy building material (and gets expensive to use)

[Zeb]

Those giant stone disks on Yap might work.

[OneOut]

Not in the Socialist Democracy Utopia of Veneszuela.

Money is cheaper than many building products per square foot.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Sumeria but the Chinese invented a fermented rice/fruit/honey beverage 4000 years prior.

[Anomalous]

Cultural appropriation? I'll drink to that.

[Swiss Servator]

*slow clap*

[gaoxiaen]

Shit. I didn't know. I'm drinking mezcal.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Vodka:
https://youtu.be/e7kJRGPgvRQ

Tequila:
https://youtu.be/xoLmeOBn4ck

Beer:
https://youtu.be/cXy6JHYa5Ks

[Mickey Rat]

"He must have been
An admiral, a sultan,
Or a king
And to his praises
We will always sing

Look what he has done for us
He's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Charlie Mopps
The man who invented beer"

[Old Man With Candy]

Today is National Beer Day.

Get back to me when it's National Weed Day. Wait, that's in like 2 weeks.

[Anomalous]

National Beer Day used to be every day in Baltimore.

[Old Man With Candy]

National Beer, National Beer
You'll love the taste of National Beer
And while we're singing we're proud to say
It's brewed on the shores
Of the Chesapeake Bay

[Rhywun]

Sounds dour. Like "government cheese".

[Old Man With Candy]

It was always better with Chuck Thompson.

[thrakkorzog]

Wait, are we talking about Natty light? God bless the fact I'm not 18 years old anymore.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Not quite

[Crusty Juggler]

I have a friend who is in this thirties and drinks like I did when I was 19 ( Natty Light, Beast Ice, SoCo and lime shots), and when he talks about it I feel physically ill.

[KDN]

Baltimore Pabst. It's not the worst way to waste $2.

[Certified Public Asshat]

+1 eye

[Old Man With Candy]

Is it me or are the Linx this AM unusually lame?

[Raven Nation]

At least they're on time.

[Old Man With Candy]

I get the feeling that Damon is just phoning it in.

[Jerryskids]

A weed link, a beer link, a Trump link and a Star Wars link all at the same time? Throw in an abortion link and you'd see the comments go supernova.

[gaoxiaen]

No Mexicans or butt-sex, so no go. Just a brown dwarf.

[R C Dean]

Just a brown dwarf.

Kinky!

[Chipper Morning Wood]

A gay brown dwarf with a spliff?

[R C Dean]

*swoons*

[UnCivilServant]

Bernie Sanders: Hillary Clinton is "not qualified" to be president.

Pot, Kettle.

How can these be the only surviving candidates on that side, a Socialist and a Felon...

[Swiss Servator]

"A Socialist and a Felon walk into a primary..."

[Anomalous]

And they steal it.

[Rich]

"?and the electorate says, 'What is this, a joke?'"

[Night Elf Mohawk]

When the major party candidates combine to make Cruz look the most qualified, one might wonder if any of those candidates are qualified.

[some guy]

To be fair, that picture was taken back when she was inevitable and he was just token resistance.

[Free Society]

How can these be the only surviving candidates on that side, a Socialist and a Felon...

To be fair, I can't think of a Democrat that is qualified to govern a bowl of cheerios. Is there even one Democrat you'd like to see in the oval office?

[some guy]

To be fair, a bowl of cheerios can be an unruly, chaotic affair. You got dozens of different types of milk, almond milk, soy milks, etc. to choose from. All sorts of additives like nuts and berries and diced fruits. You gotta consider adding cinnamon or not. How much milk do you put in and when? You want 'em moist, but not soggy. Ratios are important in all aspects. It's a long series of tough decisions, a bowl of Cheerios is. This is why we need TOP MEN to make sure every bowl of Cheerios is perfect.

[Free Society]

I can't decide. Therefore, me and about 150 million people should all vote on how best to force about 300 million people to eat their cheerios. See how easy that is?

[gaoxiaen]

Honey-Nut Cheerios or GTFO.

[Mickey Rat]

Because that is what they started out with.

[CatoTheChipper]

This is perhaps the most true and insightful thing that Comrade Bernie has ever uttered.

[Derpetologist]

Spot the Not: Liberals speculate on why people vote don't vote for them

1. High unemployment keps most Americans fearful and economically insecure. This sets them up to believe regressive lies- that their biggest worry should be that "big government" will tax away the little they have and give it to "undeserving" minorities; that they should support low taxes on corporations and wealthy "job creators", and that the new immigrants threaten their jobs.

2. For some reason, voters can be brainwashed, and they vote sometimes against their own best interests, let alone voting against the interests of the people who need them, like people who are disenfranchised and people who are poor and so forth.

3. Liberals are using science, math, reality and history to argue against people who don't believe in science, math, reality, or history. That's why we're not getting anywhere.

4. The biggest divide in this country is not between Democrats and Republicans. It's between people who care and people who don't care.

5. The genius of Republicans has been how they figured out how to so polarize the middle class that we vote against our own best interests.

6. It's easy to trick the uneducated masses into voting against their own best interests. They are fearful, ignorant, and often prejudiced. They envy their intellectual superiors and reflexively resist them out of spite.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Obviously a trick question, since these and every other possible logical permutation have been speculated. I'll vote for #1, though, since in economically insecure times voters actually tend to turn to the left.

[straffinrun]

Envy is recession proof.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

This is a tough one, as I feel like I've heard variations of all of these. I'm going to guess #1 because the Democrats are in denial about the unemployment/economic insecurity issue. My proggie colleagues assure me that America is booming again thanks to Barack H. Christ, our Lord and savior.

[Anarcho-Woodchipper]

gonna go with #1 again

I've heard all the others in some shape or form

[Glide]

Cool that someone has figured out exactly what the best interests are for every human in the country! Who would have ever guessed it was "the exact opinion of the person making that claim"?

[Glide]

I'll go against the grain, though, and say #4. I don't think liberals accept that conservatives are not the enemy.

[Citizen X]

I've heard that one, though. Turns out that people who care vote Democrat. Completely by coincidence!

[Glide]

Well, I figured that was the subtext, but the text itself seemed way too forgiving of conservatives.

[Citizen X]

I've heard all of these except 1.

[Swiss Servator]

6 sounds like a set up... 6.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

No, I've been told #6 by a law professor.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Has to be #1. No way they're that honest. Every one I've heard is still in denial about that.

[sarcasmic]

Gotta be #1. Unemployment is the lowest it has ever been. Anyone who says otherwise hates Obama because he is black.

[Tonio]

I notice that numbers 1, 2, 5 and 6 are all variants of false consciousness. It's their go-to.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"It's easy to trick the uneducated masses into voting against their own best interests. They are fearful, ignorant, and often prejudiced. They envy their intellectual superiors and reflexively resist them out of spite."

There is no way this is real.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

^ I'm picking this as the not. It's too obviously prejudiced against poor people, whereas left-wing disdain for the poor is usually cloaked in more "caring" terminology.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

No, poor whites are different from other poor people, especially the ones in rural areas. It's not only okay, but encouraged, to hate them. They deserve it for all of their privilege that they've enjoyed for centuries.

[Zeb]

Poor non-unionized whites.

[Tornado16nb]

Yea i always found this funny they are worried about "losing their privelege"

[Zeb]

What if they are poor Republicans?

The "voting against their own interest" is covered in another one too that seems more like what they would really say.

I find that argument particularly offensive because not only is it hugely arrogant to assume that you know what people's interests are, but even more because it's basically telling poor people that all they should ever do is support whoever wants to give them handouts and that being principled is stupid.

I always want to ask people who use it whether they also tell rich people who vote Democrat that they are stupidly voting against their own interests.

[Tornado16nb]

It is arrogant. And it is really their own interests they are projecting on to the person they are being condescending too.

[CatoTheChipper]

Thomas Frank and other progressives who make this argument are vulgar materialists.

The only interests they recognize are material interests; i.e., income, wealth, property. These people evidently cannot understand that, while material interests are indeed important, real people have interests that transcend mere material interests; i.e., liberty in all its facets, family, community, faith, and so forth. These non-material interests are not measured in GDP, nor are they subject to state redistribution. Many voters perceive that the Democratic Party threatens their liberty, and they hold such non-material interests even more valuable than promises of foodstamps, or free daycare, or free tuition, or free healthcare, or a redistributionist, Keynes/Krugman economy.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

They would not refer to them as 'uneducated masses.'

[Zeb]

Yeah, more likely it would be "dumb hicks" or "redneck assholes".

[robc]

#3, it won me yesterdays contest.

[Citizen X]

It's also gotten me in more than one fight on Facebook, so it's definitely not the Not.

[Jerryskids]

#4 is what they they think, but they never put it that plainly. There's rarely an acceptance of a good faith argument - if you don't accept leftist dogma it can't possibly because you disagree on how to best address a given issue, it's only because you're lying or stupid or evil and trying to dupe people into believing your stupid evil lies.

[sarcasmic]

Leftists have good intentions. If you disagree then you must have bad intentions. It is the only explanation.

[Free Society]

Liberals are using science, math, reality and history to argue against people who don't believe in science, math, reality, or history. That's why we're not getting anywhere.

That's definitely a lefty talking point. The amount of projection contained in that statement is enough to propel a spacecraft to near the speed of light.

[Tornado16nb]

Haha yep. Because they actually don't care about any of these things.

[Free Society]

Because science, math, reality and history don't give a shit about income inequality, hate speech or whichever fabricated issue lefties place an undue subjective value on.

The left does nothing but manipulate science (see the reproducability scandal), they certainly don't have math on their side (see lefty economics), they have difficulty seeing reality from behind their blinders (see the ongoing failure of lefty policies literally everywhere) and when it comes to history, I don't think it's possible for them to ignore historical lessons any harder than they do (see the unmitigated murderous disaster that is every socialist government and policy that has ever ruled the land).

[thrakkorzog]

Yeah, but they fucking love science, and know that 97% of scientists agree with them, so that means that they're right.

[Aloysious]

This is fun. I'm going with: all of these are true quotes.

[Derpetologist]

6 is the Not, although in my attempt to write a parody, I came very close to expressing their actual opinions. Poe's Law strikes again.

The winners are invited to sniff wine glasses of their own farts and feel smug.

[Derpetologist]

#1 is from intellectual titan Robert Reich and #4 is from noted rocket surgeon Rachel Maddow.

[bacon-magic]

I missed you.

[Glide]

Damn it. I was assuming we were talking about normal talking point spewers, so including someone as derpy as Maddow would explain why I thought that couldn't be a real human.

[EMD]

I thought that said pocket surgeon Rachel Maddow.

[thrakkorzog]

I'm going to abstain, since I've had arguments about similar sounding points at some point or another. OK, point a gun to my head, I would guess #4.

[Stretchy]

I actually agree with #4 but, probably not in the way the author intends.

There is in fact a big divide between me, someone who doesn't really care what you're doing or why and, the people who do care about me and what I'm doing.

[gaoxiaen]

I give up, but how is the military?

[Derpetologist]

It's been working out well so far.

[CatoTheChipper]

#6.

It's a reasonable statement and doesn't necessary disparage those who fail to vote Democrat.

[GILMORE?]

I will go for #1. It seems too 'fact based' and doesn't have any embedded value judgements.

[Mr Drew]

"Hillary is not qualified to be president" said Bernie who I guess is implying that he is?

[Just a thought not a sermon]

I don't see that implication anywhere in the statement, but it might be implied by his old white man privilege.

[Mr Drew]

Your unnumbered comment will not be considered.

[straffinrun]

Birther Bernie?

[Swiss Servator]

Nice.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hillary Clinton is "not qualified" to be president.

Being married to a president doesn't qualify you? Misogyny.

[commodious spittoon]

Behind every great man is an even greater woman struggling to get ahead.

[R C Dean]

No, no, having a completely undistiguished and short Senate career as junior Senator from a solidly blue state qualifies you.

As does having a disastrous tour as SecState.

She's doubly qualified. Her insider knowledge of where the bathrooms are in the White House is just the icing on the Hillary cake.

[SFC B]

Since I'm taking algebra for the first time in forever I now recognize how that qualifies her. The two very negative things become positive!

[UnCivilServant]

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to mark you down a point. Records are additive in this equation, not multiplicative.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Today is National Beer Day.

Oh shit, did not realize!

::Embarrassedly finishes whiskey and opens beer::

[Tonio]

You get a mulligan (!) on that, since the stuff the stuff that is distilled into whiskey is called "distillers beer," basically hopless beer (grain, water and yeast).

[robc]

There are now hop infused whiskies, although that is done later in the process.

[Swiss Servator]

SACRILEGE!

[robc]

Sacrilicious

[Free Society]

Man boobs!

[bacon-magic]

Moobs.

[gaoxiaen]

No beer on hand, only liquor. Sorry.

[Rich]

The Drug Enforcement Administration is considering whether to reschedule marijuana.

And *I* am considering this bullshit.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

I can see Barry pulling something like this toward the end of his last year in office. Despite spending 7+ years throwing people behind bars and ruining their lives for a victimless act that he himself admits to having done, he is going to make a huge change on his way out the door, collect all the swoons and adoration from his idiot supporters, and not have to deal with any of the practical or political consequences of his choice. Plus, he'll be doing it in a way that can easily be reversed by his successor.

[Crusty Juggler]

That is what I have been thinking Obama will do. He will reschedule it right before he leaves office so that he can go out a hero. It will be beyond disgusting.

[R C Dean]

That's actually the best case scenario, CJ. I'm really hoping in his frantic last-minute lunge for a legacy, he reschedules pot.

[some guy]

Once MJ gets rescheduled I don't see it going back. A majority of Americans think it should not be Schedule I and there is a large block of vocal supporters for legalization.

Of course, if it gets moved only to Schedule II there won't be any meaningful impact anyway. That will just make it as regulated as cocaine. This is probably what the DEA will do. A high-profile political move that has no real effect on the war on drug users.

[Rhywun]

Coke is Schedule II?! I thought it was one of the worst of the worst. You know, like pot.

[some guy]

Coke is schedule II because there are few recognized medical uses for it, like numbing eyeballs. Pot is schedule I because politics.

[Rhywun]

Sounds legit.

[commodious spittoon]

like numbing eyeballs

Michael Bay is schedule II?

[gaoxiaen]

And Mexican hatred. Plus Reefer Madness.

[BigT]

Re-schedule marijuana? From 4:20 to what? Noon? 09:00?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Obama pulled something like that on immigration. He deported more people than all of his predecessors? combined and doubled Bush's record. Then after setting those records, he issues an executive order easing up on deportations and the media swoons and his supporters offer him adulation.

And Obama's immigration policy puts off the difficult real reforms for a later president.

[Tonio]

It's not the DEA's job to decide that. It's not the government's job to decide that. But if the government must make such determinations, let them be made by the FDA or the surgeon general, not people with an inherent conflict of interest.

Having said that, having the DEA make that determination works better from a bureacracy standpoint since the agency cannot claim the decision was forced upon it.

Disclaimers: Fuck the government, particularly the WoD. Government agencies should do what they are told and not have to be pandered to like this. The government medical regulatory industry (FDA and Surgeon General) also have inherent conflicts of interest since they've been pushing the addiction narrative, etc, just not as bad a conflict as does the DEA.

[thrakkorzog]

Technically, the AG can reschedule drugs to whatever he feels like. If she wants to change marijuana to schedule 5, and make it as hard to obtain as Robitussin, Congress gave her that power.

[kbolino]

Technically, the AG must seek the recommendations of HHS (not the Surgeon General, surprisingly enough) before rescheduling any substance.

[Tonio]

There is of course a difference between being forced to seek an opinion and actually listening to that opinion. Just like presidential appointments are, in theory, supposed to have the advice and consent of congress, but in practice people get all whiny and butt-hurt if congress doesn't approve the president's nominee.

[R C Dean]

Technically, the AG must seek the recommendations of HHS

9:00 am: AG sends email to DHS Secretary: "Any recommendations for rescheduling pot?"

9:05 am: AG makes announcement: "I have sought the recommendation of HHS as required. They made none, but whether they actually make one is not required for me to reschedule. Its Schedule 4, and I am sending a directive to all federal law enforcement to not pursue pot cases. Have a nice day."

[Lord Humungus]

The CIA Helped Produce an Episode of 'Top Chef'

What do the movies Argo and Zero Dark Thirty have in common with the novel The Devil's Light by Richard North Patterson; Bravo's Top Chef Covert Cuisine; the USA Network cable series Covert Affairs; the History Channel documentary Air America: The CIA's Secret Airline; and the BBC documentary The Secret War on Terror?

They all received "support" from the CIA's Office of Public Affairs (OPA), the division that interacts with journalists and acts as the liaison with the entertainment industry.

[Tonio]

Archer called it first.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ted Cruz "has outmaneuvered Trump in all the caucus states" and is positioning himself to enjoy "a tactical advantage should the party's presidential nomination come down to a rare contested convention."

Unclassy move.

[Bee Tagger]

Ted Cruz "has outmaneuvered Trump in all the caucus states

Ouch, Trump is being outcaucasianed by a Cuban. Mark Cuban.

[Lord Humungus]

I don't want to live in a world without French hookers.

France passes law making it illegal to pay for sex

France is to make it illegal to pay for sex after MPs finally approved new legislation on prostitution following more than two years of rows and opposition by senators.

Under the new law, anyone caught purchasing an act from a sex worker will be fined and required to attend classes on the harms of prostitution.

There would be a ?1,500 (?1,200) fine for a first offence, rising to ?3,750 for a second, which would also be put on the person's criminal record. The offender would be forced to attend classes highlighting the harms of prostitution.

The law was passed by 64 votes to 12 with many MPs absent.

[UnCivilServant]

The French? It must be Migrant influence!

[Restoras]

Amsterdam rejoices?

[Restoras]

Amsterdam rejoices?

[straffinrun]

Two cheers for Amsterdam!

[Restoras]

Apparently, so do the skwirilz.

[Raven Nation]

Apparently there was much rejoicing.

[Anomalous]

The law was passed by 64 votes to 12 with many MPs absent.

They were probably absent because they went to the brothels.

[Swiss Servator]

DAMN IT!

[Old Man With Candy]

Have you ever seen French hookers? /shudders

The only uglier ones in the world are the Roma hookers in Prague.

[Lord Humungus]

Nice way to ruin my dreams, you cis-shitlord!

[Swiss Servator]

The law was passed by 64 votes to 12 with many MPs absent.

They were rushing to get one last brothel visit in!

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Irma La Douce hardest hit.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

/narrows gaze.

[Slammer]

I want to see them dumping Spanish hookers all over the highways.

[Swiss Servator]

+1 tanker truck of wine?

[Free Society]

Thank you for this.

[some guy]

The war on women proceeds apace.

[Rhywun]

So we can pretty much assume that every hooker you see on the street is a cop, right?

[gaoxiaen]

All those French housewives (or occaissionals) must be shitting their pants.

[Jerryskids]

That's an extra 20 francs.

[But Enough About Me]

Euros, goofball.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Drug Enforcement Administration is considering whether to reschedule marijuana.

What's higher than Schedule 1?

[Anomalous]

They're going to create Schedule 0 just for cannabis.

[Swiss Servator]

Schedule .5?

[Rich]

Nice catch. It wouldn't surprise me if Anomalous's prediction came true.

[thrakkorzog]

Schedule 11?

Technically, schedule 1 is for drugs with no legit medical use. So marijuana is schedule 1, cocaine is schedule 2, and heroin is schedule 3.

[Mr. Flanders]

Schedule 420!! Amirite??

[Bee Tagger]

The Drug Enforcement Administration is considering whether to reschedule marijuana.

Just send a meeting update and Outlook will take care of it.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[some guy]

Clearly you've never used a government computer system.

[gaoxiaen]

Leonhart doesn't know the difference,

[Lord Humungus]

Bangladesh activist Nazimuddin Samad hacked to death

A law student who posted pro-atheism comments on social media has been murdered, Bangladeshi police said, in the latest incident in a series of killings of secular activists and bloggers in the country.

Dhaka Metropolitan Police Assistant Commissioner Nurul Amin said at least three men riding on a single motorbike carried out the killing on Wednesday night. No group immediately claimed responsibility.

Al Jazeera's Tanvir Chowdhury, reporting from Dhaka, said 28-year-old Nazimuddin Samad was the seventh secular activist who has been killed.

"The men on the motorbike first hit him with machetes. Then they shot him to make sure he was dead," Chowdhury said.

[Rhywun]

Horrible, of course, but if you were him, wouldn't you just let that shithole fester and get yourself to somewhere sane instead? You're not going to fix it.

[BigT]

"but if you were him, wouldn't you just let that shithole fester and get yourself to somewhere sane instead? "

That's why George Washington moved to Holland in 1776.

[kbolino]

The Brits were tame by comparison.

[Lord Humungus]

Woman's Body Found on University of Texas at Austin Campus

Police in Austin are searching for a possible killer on a college campus after the body of a young woman was found at the University of Texas on Tuesday morning.

The body, found near Waller Creek just west of the Alumni Center at about 10:30 a.m., is that of a woman in her 20's, reported NBC affiliate KXAN. The woman has not been publicly identified and no suspects have been named, but police are investigating the incident as a possible homicide, authorities said.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

First in 15 years.

She hasn't been publicly identified, but she has been identified, as has a suspect.

[Hamster of Doom]

"Wait, there are real threats in this world?"

[CatoTheChipper]

Police in Austin are searching for a possible killer

I thought this was now the job of university administrators.

[Rich]

Why is the FBI so slow on Clinton e-mail probe?

"Back in August, we made clear that I'm happy to answer any questions that anybody might have. And I stand by that."

"Of course, *now* I have no recollection of the non-events leading up to this interview."

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

"This is old news. Why are we still talking about this?"

[CatoTheChipper]

"At this point, what difference does it make?" [You know that Loretta won't indict me]

[Lee G]

Because they don't want Sanders to get the nomination. Once Clinton wins the nom, if they choose to indict her, they can replace her with someone of their choice.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

That's been my thinking on the matter, as well. I don't know whether or not Justice will drop the hammer on Hillary, but there's no way they will while Bernie is mathematically capable of getting the nomination.

That said, I also think that you are still a Hillary supporter at this point, there is very little that could sway you. I think many of her followers would vote for her even after a conviction.

[cavalier973]

"You're still voting for Hillary?"

"Of course! She'll be out of prison by Inauguration Day!"

[Lord Humungus]

Scottish craft brewer launches 'world's first spreadable beer'

A Scottish craft brewer has created the world's first spreadable beer to mark the opening of its new Beer Kitchen.

Innis & Gunn opened its second Scottish Beer Kitchen in South Tay Street, Dundee today.

The celebrate the launch, the craft brewer has launched Marm & Ale, the world's first beer marmalade.

[Raven Nation]

Apparently doubling down on the reputation of British cuisine.

[Swiss Servator]

Might as well throw some alcohol in to make it better.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

The Scottish read about food once in a magazine and it sounded like a good idea, but they haven't quite figured out how it's really supposed to work...

[Swiss Servator]

*flings plate of haggis, balls up fists*

[Citizen X]

All Scottish cuisine is the result of drunken bets. All of it.

[Rich]

LOL

"I darrrrrrre YOU!"

[Citizen X]

"Ah DARE ye tae put tha' part o' the sheep in yer mooth!"

[gaoxiaen]

Good Scrabble word..

[UnCivilServant]

All Scottish cuisine is the result of drunken bets. All of it.

Well of course it is. The people there have to remain drunk, else they might sober up and realize that they're in Scotland

[Citizen X]

English cuisine, on the other hand, is the result of plain old ineptitude. For instance, Worcestershire sauce started off as an attempt to make curry powder.

[some guy]

So all the good parts of English cuisine were accidents?

[Citizen X]

Accidents, or - like fish and chips - too simple to fuck up too badly.

[gaoxiaen]

Nonexistent.

[commodious spittoon]

I ain't never going back. Not never.

[Libertarian]

What's Marmite, chopped liver?

[UnCivilServant]

You might think that, but it's actually yeast by-product.

[Citizen X]

Yeah, that's an honest mistake.

[Azathoth!!]

What, artisanal marmite?

[Lord Humungus]

Peak Florida?

Florida man with Florida tattoo charged with burglary

The Palm Beach Post reported Wednesday that 25-year-old Johnathan Hewett is jailed without bond. He has a map of Florida tattooed on his left forehead and temple.

The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said Hewett is seen on surveillance video prying open the door of a home last month. Officials say he took a gun and two watches.

The homeowner identified him as the friend of a former roommate. Detectives say the video clearly shows Hewett's tattoo spelling "red rum" on his neck. That's "murder" spelled backward.

[Swiss Servator]

"Did you steal from that house"

/asks finger

[Juvenile Bluster]

Redrum... redrum...

[some guy]

I've got a friend with a Florida tattoo, but he at least had the common sense to put it on his back.

[Chip Woodier]

I was going to tattoo a map of Tennessee on my wiener but only had room for Rhode Island.

[Matrix]

Clinton is not qualified, but neither are you, Bernie. Anyone who spent years praising communists and running down the US is not fit to be president of the US.

[Raven Nation]

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.

To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Not even a ski boxer.

[CatoTheChipper]

Really the only way to have a chance to get good government officials in a democracy would be by lottery. The chosen candidate would then be subject to an up or down vote by the electorate.

Of course, this method of selection would only offer a modest probability of selecting a good government official. Most qualified candidates selected by lottery would mount a vigorous campaign to explain to voters why they should be voted down because they have better things to do. Most candidates who would relish the prospects of the selection by lot would be conniving to exploit their office in some way.

[Lord Humungus]

Perp Denies Ownership Of Crack Pipe In Her Vagina, Claims She Was Just Storing It For A Friend

After initially denying that she threw the cocaine out of the car window, Flores reportedly copped to owning the coke, which she said she purchased from a man named "Nino."

Upon arriving at the county jail, Flores claimed that she could not go through a scanner since she was pregnant. But after a pregnancy test showed negative results, "jail staff processed Flores through the body scanner." That is when officers noticed a "foreign object located inside of Flores's vaginal area."

Flores, seen above, subsequently retrieved "a clear cylindrical tube containing a burnt end" and gave it to a cop. But the crack pipe was not hers, explained Flores, who said that the item was owned by a female friend who was driving the car that had been pulled over.

[Rich]

crack pipe

SEXIST!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

"Sure, I store things in there all the time. Snacks, umbrellas, whatever. It's very convenient."

[straffinrun]

Wait till they find the hookah.

[Zeb]

inside of Flores's vaginal area.

Cops must train to talk like morons. It's either in her vagina or it's not.

[Riven]

Hey, maybe she had a lot of front-butt going on, and it really was just in her...area.

[Zeb]

Front Butt.

[Pope Jimbo]

WhooooHoooo! Minnesoda is on the map!

Of course, being sensible folk our gal has decided to simply where a t-shirt that says "Ask me how my college is protecting my rapist" instead of anything too silly.

The T-shirt campaign, Wilson said, was a way to "take control of what happened to me." She said she was inspired by the "Carry That Weight" project by Emma Sulkowicz, a student at Columbia University in New York who hauled her mattress through campus for years to protest the school's refusal to expel the man she accused of rape.

"I thought ... well, I can't carry a mattress around," said Wilson, who is from Colorado. Instead, she launched the website on March 30 and donned the T-shirt, which she has worn to class almost every day since.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Somebody needs to ask her if she's ever heard of Proactiv.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Ok. Now I think we've crossed the line with our immaturity. Not nice!

Derp, derp.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

I'm just glad I got to see that group photo. I always wondered where Pyat Pree's son went to college.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

I can't believe I offended the sensibilities of people here.

What's happened to the cold, callous reason I know and love?

[commodious spittoon]

Microbead scrub works miracles.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I hate articles with no comments.

"Ask me how my college is protecting my rapist."

Er, no?

I can imagine her at the table being ignored while wearing the t-shirt and her exploding at not being asked the question.

[Pope Jimbo]

The best thing about the Strib is that some of their articles have comments. But the stories that they just know will turn into a shitstorm always have comments turned off.

[Rhywun]

NY Post is like that, although seems fewer and fewer articles have comments any more. But the level of discussion is exactly what you might expect.

[KDN]

I don't know if that's a positive or negative. I have to admit that I got a little bit sick of informing mouth breathing Yankee fans that Jeter was never a good defensive SS, but it is still fun to argue with morons from time to time. It really prepares you for dealing with the public at large.

[Rhywun]

It was mostly braindead racists, so no... not much fun.

[BigT]

"Jeter was never a good defensive SS,"

Yeah. NYers are the most provincial people in the country.

[John]

Jeter was a very reliable defensive shortstop in his day. He never had great range but he was extremely dependable. He didn't fuck up even if he didn't get to every ball. i will take reliability over range but error prone any day.

That qualifies him as a good defensive shortstop. He wasn't a great defensive shortstop but he was certainly good. When you combine that with his reliability and the fact that he was a hit machine at the plate, that made him one hell of a great player.

Why the advanced metric nerds have a hard time grasping that is beyond me. But they are still expecting the Royals to win 75 games this year. How is that working out?

[KDN]

Jeter was a straight-up bad defensive shortstop until about 2004, but people didn't notice because he was smart, had a strong arm, and occasionally made plays that most SS can't because they don't have the build for it. Once A-Rod showed up he turned into a solid SS that still lacked range before devolving into an absolute mess once his athleticism started to fade around 2010. He was also the best SS I've ever seen at tracking down fly balls, but that's a minor skill.

I'd have preferred to move him to CF where I think he would have been an all-time great since Bernie's (and later Damon's) defense was also bad, but it's a lot harder to find a hitter like that at SS than it is at CF. It's not like the nerds didn't grasp that; Rob Neyer used to point out whenever he got a question about the subject that Jeter was in there for his bat since he could handle SS just fine, he just wasn't good (this is way before defensive metrics, probably around 2001). Even as a defensive negative he was still one of the 15 most valuable players in baseball.

ZiPS has KC winning 83 games and a 1 in 5 chance of winning the division. Seems about right - they lack pitching. But that projection only leaves them 2 GB of the favorites, well within the margin of error. Keep on being proudly ignorant, though. You'll show those nerds yet.

[John]

KDN,

The Royals have won two pennants in a row and were a single hit away from being the two time defending champion. They will almost certainly win 90 or more games this year and go back to the playoffs. ZIPS and the rest of the advanced metrics cannot account for a ton of different things, all of which seem to be present on the Royals.

Time will tell. But if it turns out that the Royals go way beyond the predictions again, those metrics need to be rethought because they clearly don't reflect reality. I get it that you can have a one year outlier. But when a team outperforms the predictions as badly as the Royals have three years in a row, the metrics have been shown to be fatally flawed. What the hell good are they if they can't account for what actually is happening on the field?

The advanced metrics people remind me of the climate nuts. Both groups are totally convinced that reality must correspond to their models and if it doesn't the problem is with reality not the model.

[Crusty Juggler]

she launched the website on March 30 and donned the T-shirt, which she has worn to class almost every day since

Ew.

[Swiss Servator]

She said she was inspired by the "Carry That Weight" project by Emma Sulkowicz

Um....yeah, about that...

[commodious spittoon]

"Ask me why I abdicate to my college responsibility for my bodily integrity."

[thrakkorzog]

So when is her porn vid coming out?

[Glide]

'Hillary Clinton is "not qualified" to be president.'

God, I'm looking forward to dredging this up when he's endorsing her in eight weeks.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

1. Insert strong, sassy female lead with a snarky quip to every well-meaning authority-figure's question

2. Crank up the nostalgia to 11 with AT-ATs, stormtroopers, Star Destroyers and the Death Star. I'm sure Vader will also cameo in this as well.

3. ????

4. Make a billion dollars or two.

[Swiss Servator]

3. Flood the zone with merch, happy meals, video games, etc....right at release of movie.

[John]

Girls can Geoff. Girls can.

[The Last American Hero]

Look, as long as the film has a scene where this 95 pound chick beats the shit out of a half dozen NFL linebackers using moves that would make a luchador proud and lands in a 3 point stance with not a hair out of place, I'm in.

[Princess Trigger]

A new fear is upon us.
'Casino evacuated after penis ring causes terror alert'
http://www.thelocal.de/2016040.....rror-alert

[Lord Humungus]

Taxi, Uber, and Lyft Usage in New York City
Open TLC data reveals the taxi industry's contraction, Uber's growth, and Lyft's apparent struggle for traction

This graph will continue to update as the TLC releases additional data, but at the time I wrote this in April 2016, the most recent data shows yellow taxis provided 60,000 fewer trips per day in January 2016 compared to one year earlier, while Uber provided 70,000 more trips per day over the same time horizon.

Although the Uber data only begins in 2015, if we zoom out to 2010, it's even more apparent that yellow taxis are losing market share.

Lyft began reporting data in April 2015, and expanded aggressively throughout that summer, reaching a peak of 19,000 trips per day in December 2015. Over the following 6 weeks, though, Lyft usage tumbled back down to 11,000 trips per day as of January 2016?a decline of over 40%.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Let's Lyft up and crush the taxi cartel and the cronies that give life to monoplies!

Then I want to see Lyft challenge Uber.

That's a winner for customers.

[jarflax]

Maybe the DEA secretly loves Reason and wants it to collect the $20 pledges several of us made in the event MJ is rescheduled.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

It's all a conspiracy, man! They're ::looks over shoulder, lowers voice:: everywhere

[Jerryskids]

Maybe the DEA is just spending a bunch of money on a study that's bound to conclude the DEA doesn't have the authority to reschedule. Hey, we'd like to, but our hands are Thaid.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story."

I look forward to the day where the only movies produced are Star Wars, Marvel Comics films, and shitty reboots directed by Zack Snyder.

[jarflax]

Isn't that day today?

[Swiss Servator]

Seconded.

[Crusty Juggler]

I recently watched Ant-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy and thought they were entertaining enough, so there is that.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Yeah, the quality of the Marvel films has been consistently high, so I'm not really complaining there.

It'd be nice if Zack Snyder were never allowed to direct a movie again, though.

[Crusty Juggler]

the quality of the Marvel films has been consistently high, so I'm not really complaining there.

I did not really like The Avengers movies, or anything having to do with Thor. But, in general they are churning out fairly entertaining movies. Compare their series with something like the Transformers movies, and Marvel stands out even more.

[tarran]

I think whoever directed Guardians of the Galaxy really did a great job getting Vin Diesel to tap into the full range of his acting ability.

[Crusty Juggler]

I laughed. Pratt was great, and the story was not insulting. There has been much worse.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

The director of Guardians of the Galaxy is James Gunn who also did the underrated Slither and a really funny online web series called PG Porn which was about Porn scenarios without the sex. (Like guys driving around in what appears to be a Bang Bus but who are actually just good Samaritans and want to help girls get home safely).

He's pretty solid, although he did write the Scooby Doo movies, so I'll always have that to hold against him.

[Aloysious]

Slither was fantastic.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

although he did write the Scooby Doo movies

Are you referring to the live action ones, the recent animated ones, or the series "New Scooby Doo Movies," in which Scooby and the gang met up with such celebrities as the Three Stooges and Batman? Because that third one pretty much raised me...

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

The live action ones that sucked. The ones where Scooby Doo's horrible CGI is the scariest part.

[thrakkorzog]

I don't know I think Bobbi Starr did a decent enough job given the material she had to work with. That's the live action Scooby Doo we're talking about?

[Juvenile Bluster]

Why the hell does Zack Snyder keep getting work? He's made a grand total of one decent movie, he butchers stories, and lately his films break even at best.

[Libertarian]

With the way Hollywood does its bookkeeping, I assume that "break even" movies make tons of money for certain people.

[UnCivilServant]

Don't you know every movie ever has lost money according to its official record?

[BigT]

+1 Springtime for Hitler

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

There's also other sales and marketing to take into consideration. Maybe the film itself "broke even," but how much did Batman and Superman t-shirt sales increase last month? Action figure line? Video game? And so on...

[John]

Is that day today?

[Night Elf Mohawk]

I wouldn't mind seeing a new Deadpool movie this afternoon.

[Crusty Juggler]

Mount Vernon NYPD shooting: Man in gun sting charged with murder

A man has been charged with second-degree murder for allegedly setting in motion an incident in which an undercover New York Police Department officer fatally shot a bystander in Mount Vernon last year.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Who the hell do I have to pay off to be able to shoot someone and then have some other guy charged for doing it?

[Crusty Juggler]

PBA president Patrick Lynch.

[jarflax]

I am going to let this one play out more before getting outraged. If the accused really held the pellet gun to the cop's head shooting at him would be an appropriate response, and I am not outraged by felony murder charges against an armed robber where a bystander died.

[GILMORE?]

Robert Wolf, a spokesman for the Westchester County District Attorney's Office, said the officer's bullets wouldn't have been fired without Smothers' instigation.

Sounds legit

Jeffrey Aristy, 28, had been selling handguns and cocaine to an undercover NYPD officer in the Bronx for months,

months. sounds legit.

[Rich]

"Put your hands together for the *rampaging* RADIOACTIVE WILD BOARS!!"

Seriously, what an increasingly awful mess. 8-(

[Swiss Servator]

I would be more worried about the raccoons...

[Zeb]

Need some 15 foot 'gators to fight with them.

[gaoxiaen]

+1n Short-fingered jazz hands.

[John]

The million dollar concert ticket.

http://www.musicvice.com/news/.....ket-060416

For that kind of money it better include a threesome with Taylor Swift and Katy Perry.

[Crusty Juggler]

HOW DARE YOU! SWIZZLE WOULD NEVER ENGAGE IN SUCH LURID SHENANIGANS!!!

[Rich]

More to be announced soon!

"And, if you call within the next eleven minutes, we'll DOUBLE the offer!"

[Zeb]

No, but you get to watch Radiohead and Die Antwoord have an orgy.

Reading the list of what's included, it may well be worth the price by some reasonable standard.

[Los Doyers]

BAE BEE ZON FIYER

[KDN]

You don't need to spend a million dollars for that. Transforming yourself into John Mayer ought to do the trick.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

What if I just identify as John Mayer?

[KDN]

I'm sure that would also work, what with the direction polite, celebrity society has gone in the last decade. So tolerant.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Related: The wife and I spent a week in Iceland last summer. Absolutely beautiful country. Highly recommend it.

[John]

I would really like to go. And Icelandaire has really cheap flights off the east coast.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Die Another Day already did like half of this.

Oh, Jinx!

[LoneWaco]

Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

lemme guess. the same story as all the other ones. empire, rebels, muppets, magic, boredom.

[Atlas Slugged]

just read your comment

lemme guess. the same condescending opinion of someone wanting to look hip by being against something wildly popular.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Today, in sneering left-wing condescension:

I'D LIKE TO SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR TEXAS

But I digress from my mea culpa. Texas was, after all, a Confederate state, and it has moved so far to the right that a flaming liberal like George W. Bush would no longer have much of a base there. How far to the right has Texas moved?

That rock-star status of Nobel winners made for an interesting situation when UT began to implement a new law allowing guns on campus in public universities. Private universities in the state could opt out of allowing students to pack heat, and most have.

The only living Nobel laureate at UT is Steven Weinberg (Physics, 1979), and he has announced that he will not allow guns in his classroom. Even though he's tenured, that's a violation of the law, and he could be fired.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

If I were teaching at UT, I would do the same thing?but I am not a Nobel Laureate, so it would be a lot easier to fire my ass. It did not escape my notice that when I taught at the San Antonio campus of the University of Texas and later at Indiana University, my classes dealt with highly controversial subjects. I'm betting my criminal justice students argued more heatedly than Weinberg's students do in his physics classes.

I've never been a celebrity, but if I ever became one, I would enjoy using my fame for something useful. Keeping guns out of university classrooms strikes me as very useful.

Coming soon to a school shooting near you: student vigilantes returning fire while the police try to sort them out from the bad guys. I presume they won't light the tower orange for that. Hook 'em, Horns.

[John]

It is not so much the condescension it is the complete idiocy combined with the condescension. I don't like condescension but sometimes it is warranted. There is something especially galling about someone who is as utterly stupid as this guy being condescending about it.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

^^ Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the largest shooting in UT history foiled by four people, including one civilian, went and shot the guy to death?

[John]

Yes. They didn't have the weapons to shoot the guy from afar. So they went up there and killed him, one of the guys was not a cop.

[UnCivilServant]

Houston McCoy just sounds like a made-up name...

[commodious spittoon]

Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a cop!

[Zeb]

I think it's that guy that I heard moaning about the dangers of people defending their dissertations or taking oral exams having guns because it's such an emotional and stressful situation. I just want to ask him how many times he's been punched in the face or stabbed by a student in such a situation. If it's such a potentially volatile situation, surely that sort of thing happens fairly often.

[tarran]

I think it's projection. *He* wanted to kill people. *He* wanted to punch people. But he didn't know how to do those things so he couldn't act on his impulses. I think that he assumes everyone else is like him, and if handed a gun they would shoot people that disagree with them just as he would.

[Zeb]

Seems like that's often the case.

[Tornado16nb]

Because they couldn't conceal it and pull that stunt before!

[Zeb]

Oh, right. Laws are magical.

[thrakkorzog]

Like you're gonna take a class taught by a nobel laureate. You think he's teaching physics 101 to 300 kids in an auditorium?

[gaoxiaen]

Texas. Can you quack like a duck?

[gaoxiaen]

God Of All Texas. FTW.

[gaoxiaen]

Forgot the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSnRq6iyHKg

[John]

http://www.independent.co.uk/n.....72356.html

Germany now trying to outdo the UK for dumbest country in Europe.

[jarflax]

Under paragraph 103 of the German Criminal Code, insulting a foreign head of state can result in a three-year jail term, while an intended slander can stretch to five years.

So an accidental insult can get you 3 years? What if your slander is intentional and involves Nazi symbols or holocaust denial? Life?

[tarran]

Gosh. I shudder to think what happened to the people calling Dubya a murderer during the run up to the Iraq war!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

THAT'S DIFFERENT!

[CatoTheChipper]

That would make it virtually impossible to write about, say, the King of Saudi Arabia or DPRK tyrant Kim Jong Il.

Seriously, how can one write about tyrants without insulting them?

[straffinrun]

What I'm about to read is not allowed.

What about listening? Or recording? Or remembering?

[commodious spittoon]

Reminiscing is strenglich verboten.

[Rich]

Expect a lot more phrasing along the lines of "I'm not saying [insert name here] fucks sheep, but ?."

[robc]

Greece objects to your rankings.

[straffinrun]

Can't the comedians just go with, "The Turkish PM in no way has a tiny dick"? Suppose they would say he's being sarcastic. "Fine, you're right. Here's some sarcasm for you, The Turkish PM has a tiny dick."

[Thymirus]

Whenever leftists lavish praise upon these European oases of censorious retardation, I always get the urge to puke violently on them. Fuck off, slavers.

[ant1sthenes]

Time to update the old joke.

In America, you have freedom of speech -- you can stand in public and shout "Obama fucks goats!" and not go to jail.

In Cuba, you have the same freedom of speech -- you can stand in public and shout "Obama fucks goats!" and not go to jail.

In Germany, well...

[BigT]

In Germany you can fuck goats, and put the video on the Internet as art. Amirite?

[Just say Nikki]

What's the problem, John? They just wanted to loosen up the libel laws.

[John]

No they didn't. This has nothing to do with libel laws. If and when the Turkish President sues him, come talk to me.

[Rhywun]

To avert diplomatic tensions, Angela Merkel personally called Turkish prime minister Ahmet Davutoglu and agreed the poem was a "deliberate insult".

I can't imagine even a simpering sub like Obama stooping so low. OK, maybe Obama but no other president.

[commodious spittoon]

He's raising our esteem throughout the world.

[gaoxiaen]

Raising our esteem, if you missed it earlier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSnRq6iyHKg

[Free Society]

I watched a video of an old German lady complaining that her street, formerly predominated by old folks and retirees is now facing a crime epidemic from thousands of middle eastern migrants that were suddenly living there one day.

A young Muslim yute walks up and begins mocking this old woman while she's giving the interview, he then starts shouting her down and interjecting.

The old lady held her ground and started describing "cultural incompatibilities" between Europeans and Muslims. The Muslim yute then accused her of "insulting Islam" and this old woman was suddenly on the defensive, trying to clarify her position to make clear that she was not insulting Islam. When I first watched it I couldn't understand why she was backtracking so hard, then I came to find out that "insulting Islam" is literally a fucking crime in Germany and this Muslim yute was using this leftoid edict of tolerance as a cudgel to silence opposition. And quite successfully too.

I don't fear Islamic radicalism, I fear the western reluctance to acknowledge it for what it is. These barbarians can only destroy western civilization if we let them, and there are no shortage of westerners willing to do that.

[John]

I don't fear Islamic radicalism, I fear the western reluctance to acknowledge it for what it is.

Bingo. And it is not the average person. it is the elites and journalists. Read the horseshit reason writes about this issue. Of course no one who writes at reason will ever live in a neighborhood that is overrun by young, violent Muslims or ever be in any real danger of being victimized by one. Worse, the primary value for them and most other journalists right and left seems to be virtue signaling. So not only will they deny the truth, they will virtue signal and call anyone who doesn't a racist.

[Free Society]

So not only will they deny the truth, they will virtue signal and call anyone who doesn't a racist.

Paging Rico Suave

[R C Dean]

Bingo for me as well.

An ingrown toenail can kill you if you ignore it long enough. Militant Islam has a pretty long history of being the death of nations. Its foolish to believe that it isn't capable of taking down Western European nations, if left untreated.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Thabo Sefolosha sues NYPD for $50 million for false arrest and for breaking his leg

He deserves double that.

[John]

He is an NBA player with a limited career and a seven figure salary. So he can never make up for the lost salary

[Rhywun]

It kept him out for a few months. He's not making 50M+ a year.

[John]

What is the cumulative effect of the injury on his career and what is the value of the lost savings he could have had over his lifetime? Remember, he will only make this salary when he is young and will likely have to live the rest of his life on what he makes. So even a small bit of lost income adds up to a lot of money over his lifetime.

[Rhywun]

Oh, and what lost salary? Pro athletes get paid what's in their contract. This is purely punitive.

[R C Dean]

This is purely punitive.

So was the arrest, so fair's fair.

[Swiss Servator]

FOR GREAT SWISS JUSTICE!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

The last Swedish taxpayer on his way to work...

http://bit.ly/1MUPy8v

[Free Society]

Depressingly funny... I mean not depressing.... umm nothing to be depressed about. I'm not racist.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Oh come on!

http://bit.ly/20atlFK

[Libertarian]

Found it! It was in her vagina the whole time.

[John]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new.....erformanc/

Don't play with a cobra at a rock concert.

[Citizen X]

That's a hell of a masturbation euphemism.

[jarflax]

Don't play with a cobra at a rock concert.
FTFY

[Lee G]

Self-limiting behavior

[commodious spittoon]

Witnesses at the gig in Karawang, West Java, said Bule did not initially seem too affected by the bite, and she apparently "refused an antidote from the snake handler," said one local reporter.

No kidding.

[gaoxiaen]

Shit/venom happens.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Hillary says Bernie unqualified.

Silence.

Bernie says Hillary unqualified.

"Bernie's attack on @HillaryClinton tonight was beneath him. She is the most qualified person to ever run for POTUS."

That's the most amusing thing about Clinton supporters. The double standards they use are blatantly obvious.

[CatoTheChipper]

The most qualified person to run for president in my lifetime was Nixon. Solid family history and education background. Highly intelligent. Honorable service in US Navy including sea duty in Pacific during WW II. Several years in US House of Representatives. Several years in US Senate. Solid understanding of US foreign affairs. Eight years as vice president. Faithful to his family and loyal to a fault to his associates.

See what that got us?

The voters have evidently concluded that they should not select the most qualified candidate, but the most incompetent. How else can we explain the likes of Carter, Reagan, the Bushes, and Obama? Or Sanders and Trump?

[Thymirus]

Maybe my predictions and expectations for 'The Force Awakens' were ludicrous and practically unattainable, but it seems to me that even by ordinary standards of quality, it was a disastrous pile of mediocrity. Its storyline was beyond derivative -- it was a slightly variant reproduction of 'A New Hope', and its predictability detracted from my enjoyment of it to a catastrophic extent.

The action was lackluster and scarce, the designs were bland and repetitive, and a general absence of creativity was evident throughout its duration.

The events of the movie -- and the actions, occurrences, and decisions the characters are involved in to instigate them -- approach a level of retardation I've rarely seen, even in shitty shoot-'em-up blockbusters.

I can't help fearing that Disney will shit all over 'Rogue One', too, and instead of the epic sci-fi war drama we could have had, we'll probably get some cartoonish horseshit again.

[tarran]

instead of the epic sci-fi war drama we could have had, we'll probably get some cartoonish horseshit again.

So, basically, like every Star Wars movie made after 1985.

[Thymirus]

Yeah, and that's my point. But the prequels did, for all of their idiotic shittiness, introduce fuckloads of new stuff -- everything from planets to technologies to starships to aliens to entirely new art styles generally. I still maintain that were a competent director given control of the production of the prequels, the concepts within them could have been executed excellently, but Lucas blows, so we got shit instead.

Either way, as to your larger point, I agree. And that's why I fucking hoped Disney would pull it out of the toilet. Okay, give them some lighthearted spirit and a few quips, maybe romance, or whatever -- but make them essentially powerful, epic war movies in the massive, imposing sci-fi setting we all love.

Instead, we were served up Darth Emo and General Cody Banks, some half-baked claptrap about some break-into-the-school-cafeteria-grade plan to stop a larger, less-interesting Death Star, and Tatooine 2.0.

[KDN]

There was plenty of cartoonish horseshit in the first two as well.

I'm a fan, but people take Star Wars way too seriously. This is at its heart a kids' franchise based on transferring a standard fairy tale trope to Sci Fi.

[Thymirus]

I'm definitely in the minority when it comes what I'd want out of a new 'Star Wars' saga -- 'Battlestar Galactica'-level seriousness and war epicness.

[KDN]

I wouldn't mind that, but it's never going to happen. SW is in Bond territory at this point: they will put out the same movie with slight variations every 3 years, and the executive producers will receive another pile of money to sleep on and more beautiful women to surround it with.

You're more likely to get what you're looking for from video games and future spinoffs. The main episodes aren't going to change.

[Mustang]

I'm with you on that one. We've got the fairy tale storyline out of the way, it's time to see the epic battle scenes. The opening scene of Episode III with the battlecruisers annihilating each other over a planet is still one of the coolest scenes in any of the movies.

[Thymirus]

In other words, what BSG's battles would have looked like if they had the budget -- dramatic, powerful, rugged, cataclysmic space combat. God, I wish.

[Mustang]

I'll be in my bunk.

[Aloysious]

This is at its heart a kids' franchise...

Exactly.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Still haven't seen it.

[sarcasmic]

Whatever. I liked it.

[John]

The first problem was that Daisy Riddly can't act. Secondary to that was the whole "the hero must be a girl" SJW horseshit. The movies are basically westerns set in space. They are necessarily male driven. Asking the audience to suspend belief and think a 100 pound fashion model can exhibit all of this martial prowess is going to ruin any movie.

The only highlight of the movie was Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford. It is remarkable how much more talented and skilled they are than the younger people in the movie. I can't think of another actor who had to go back and play an iconic character they played in their youth as an old person. And Fisher and Ford both did it to perfection. Their characters were exactly like you would imagine them being 30 years on for the original movies. They basically owned every scene they were in.

All of the movies share the basic problem that no one seems to be able to explain just what the fuck the dark side of the force is or how it seduces anyone. Lucas spent three movies trying to explain why Vader went bad and at the end of it you are left with a whinny ass teenager angry about his girlfriend dying or something.

[Free Society]

They are necessarily male driven. Asking the audience to suspend belief and think a 100 pound fashion model

I just couldn't believe that dual between her and Kylo Ren. He's supposed to have been trained by both Luke Skywalker and this other Sith lord dude whose name escapes me, and is widely renowned to be almost as powerful as if not more powerful than Darth Vader, and this 100 pound fashion model with no swordsmanship and no training in the force is suddenly just cutting him to pieces. What was to stop Kylo Ren from just snapping her neck from 50 yards? She certainly didn't have the training to resist it.

[John]

Exactly. See my post below about how they should have done it. He should have destroyed her. It so obvious how the scene should have played out. Ren destroys her but rather than just killing her, he lets his sadism and arrogance get in the way and instead toys with her and brutalizes her trying to get her to convert to the dark side only to see her escape with her life at the last moment.

Its not hard. I can't understand how they managed to fuck it up.

[Hidebehindyourcause]

Yeah on the surface it's crazy how she could even fight Kylo Ren, but I suspect we'll find out how and why Rey knows how to do the things that she does. The theory is that her memories were repressed and that she has a history (family lineage or something else) that will explain why she has certain abilities.

I personally think that she's either the daughter of Luke or a descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Getting back to the fight, though, the novelization makes a couple of things clear.

1) Kylo Ren was wounded when he fought her, and after he killed his father he felt weakened.
2) Snoke noted that he (Kylo Ren) felt compassion for the girl. This is evident in the fight when he has her on the edge of the cliff and offers to teach her the ways of the force.

It's easy to say "oh this crap is dumb" and dismiss it, but I personally think that we should wait and find out more about her before we do so.

[thrakkorzog]

Darth Malgus for emperor! Let's make the Sith Empire great again.

[Thymirus]

BioWare +1.

[KDN]

It's power wielded for one's own benefit. Its attraction shouldn't need explanation - it's naturally attractive. Just look at politics throughout history.

[John]

Sure. But what makes the good guys virtuous then? They have power too. And it is never explained just what power the dark side has that the good side doesn't that attracts so many people.

[KDN]

They have the same power, with minor variations (Jedi can't shoot lightning, for example). It's the way in which its used that aligns you to the dark side or light side. The good guys are virtuous because they use it in service of others, or for the greater good. The dark side is selfish and after power for its own sake.

It's really basic stuff. Remember, kids have to understand it.

[John]

That just begs the question. Why be virtuous or bad?

[Hidebehindyourcause]

It would be political suicide with Democrats for him to do it, but each time I read an article in which Bernie criticizes her, I'd love to hear him question her email server issue.

[sarcasmic]

I've never seen the good guys shoot lightening from their fingers.

[R C Dean]

I have a very robust ability to suspend disbelief, but it was strained to its limit by a homeless teenager who somehow was (a) literate (who was going to teach her?), (b) an expert mechanic (again, who was going to teach her?) AND (c) an expert pilot the very first time she got a machine off the ground.

I'm gullible, but I'm not stupid.

[John]

Its the same thing here. Just what the fuck is the Solo and Leah's son's major malfunction? Hell if I know. The movie made a huge mistake and revealing who his parents were. One of the things that made the original Vader such a great villain was until the end of the second movie you had no idea just who or even what he was. And what you imagine him to be is always much more interesting and fun than the movie explaining it to you.

[Thymirus]

Ridley could have pulled off being a badass protagonist, but if it's a woman, it would have needed to be a grizzed (mentally, not necessarily physically), thoroughly competent brawler-combatant -- which they could have done, since her backstory (what little we get of it) is that she's spent her life getting almost-anal-raped on some backwater shithole of a planet, having to survive by her prowess and wits. Instead, we got an occasionally sassy, skinny teenager waving a stick around without much aptitude. And that's what ruined her for me.

As for Ren, and the whole way the movie portrays combat and Force competency, don't even get me started. Ren's basically a whiny, pathetic little bitch with toddler-level psychological infirmity, and he gets his ass handed to him by a Force-insensitive infantryman and a 12-year-old street urchin.

[John]

and he gets his ass handed to him by a Force-insensitive infantryman and a 12-year-old street urchin.

That was for me the most annoying part. It basically cheapened all of the bullshit about Jedi training and it being a religion that you have to live and such. Oh really? If that is the case how did a 100 lb girl with no training or understanding of the religion or martial arts that go with it just kick your bad ass sith trained Jedi?

Worse, i can't understand why they did it. They could have had him kick the shit out of her and then save her from death at the last moment like they did Luke. It would have been more believable and it would have built Ren up as a villain for the next movie. As it is, what is there to fear going forward? The hero just kicked the villain's ass and did it without any training. What chance is that sorry little bitch going to have after the chick spends a few months with Luke Skywalker?

And I could see how they could have made the protagonist a woman. But to make it believable she would have to be a different kind of fighter than Luke or Vader. She would have to have been crafty and deceitful rather than skilled and overpowering. That would have been a different spin on things from the first three movies. Sadly, they were not that creative.

[Mustang]

Don't forget the really uncomfortable end scene where the audience is treated to Luke and Rey gazing painfully into each other's eyes for five minutes.

[Thymirus]

That's pretty much exactly what I feel about Ren -- that he's no villain at all. He's a punk pussy. And he carries no weight in the role of the antagonist he was intended to fill. What a load of shit.

Fuck Abrams, and, at this point, fuck Disney.

[John]

They blew such a great opportunity. A man physically beating a woman has a tremendous affect on the audience, especially in this day and age. Imagine if the Ren Riddly fight scene had been Ren toying with her and her primitive skills and talking shit while he tortured her and brutally assaulted her. That would have shocked the shit out of the audience. It would have also made Ren into a first class villain. Here is a guy who will torture and beat a girl!! It also would have added a sense of seriousness and urgency to the movie and the series. No, this isn't fun and games. This is war and violence and is a contact sport.

It also would have set up the next movie and made the ending with her finding Luke make much more sense. A beaten down and broken Riddley knowing she has no chance without further training finds Skywalker the only man in the universe who can help her.

I think they were too afraid to offend feminists by showing a woman taking a real beating. it is a shame because they cut their entire series off at the knees the way the did it.

[Free Society]

Star Wars Undercover Boss: Starkiller Base - SNL

[R C Dean]

John's version would have been a much better movie.

[Thymirus]

FYI, I'm a gigantic SW EU fanatic, and I've seen how exceptionally interesting and epic 'Star Wars' can be. This ain't it.

[Idle Hands]

Well he starred in "Girls"

[John]

If they had had a few flashback scenes showing a young and insecure teenage Ren ending up with Lena Dunham as his first girlfriend, his commitment to destroy the universe would have made perfect sense.

[Thymirus]

Ren bones Mattress Girl, Mattress Girl claims rape falsely, Ren gets expelled, loses shit due to first-world problems, takes over Imperial Remnant. Enter JJ Abrams.

[John]

That would have been epic. If you are going to fuck it up anyway, why not fuck it up in a funny and offensive way.

[tarran]

John, have you considered becoming a writer for Robot Chicken?!? Because that's an episode that needs to be made!

[Hidebehindyourcause]

That's a good question. It better be more than just daddy/mommy issues. I mean it's one thing to hate your parents, but it takes a real special type of snowflake to want to kill one of them.

[Notorious UGCC]

So, you're an idealistic artist, someone who Deeply Cares about The Dignity of Every Person. You're inspired by a Howard Zinn speech to use your art to make change. So, in the wake of North Carolina's awful, oppressive law, how do you create some great art which affirms everyone's equal dignity and worth and expresses your vast love for humanity?

You print up T-shirts describing a politician you don't like as "Human Garbage."

[jarflax]

If you are inspired by Howard Zinn you do not have a vast love for humanity.

[Mongo]

Nor should the musicians be considered 'metal'.

[Crusty Juggler]

There are also stickers. Stickers! Take that!

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Oh, shit, and you just know they are going to leave that annoying residue when you peel them off.

Well played, SJWs, well played...

[Rhywun]

Mattresses or GTFO.

[Citizen X]

Hillary says Bernie unqualified.

...

Bernie says Hillary unqualified.

That's one thing they're both right about.

[Citizen X]

Should have been a reply to Tengri up there.

[Tornado16nb]

Does anyone know what it is called when someone has to say "they are this" unsolicited and it ends up being the exact opposite?

Like for leftists who say they are all about science....i find they really aren't. Or that they are caring of the less fortunate...i find it is contempt

[Notorious UGCC]

If the President of the university is having you as guests in his home giving you dinner, and defending his position on university investments, and you don't think the university is divesting enough from icky companies (like Israel-associated companies), then stage a walkout.

But I hope they ate a lot of their host's food first, because protesting on en empty stomach can be exhausting.
.

[jarflax]

I am hoping that someday the student left will decide to protest America by staging a massive walk out. I will feel bad for Canada though.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Canada's too privileged for them. They'll go to Mexico.

[jarflax]

Where, due to their complete lack of preparation for the working world, they will get to show their love for the donkey party in a whole new way.

[Rhywun]

Mexico won't have them either. Looks like east or west are all that's left.

[ant1sthenes]

Isn't "attending" events with free food, then sneaking out as soon as it is convenient, sort of college SOP?

[Notorious UGCC]

It's like that, but with more Social Justice!

[thrakkorzog]

Yeah, I remember attending an American Chemical Society meeting where they offered free pizza, followed by a speech by a notable chemist. About half the room stood up and up and left the room as soon as the speaker started talking.

I ended up explaining that it wasn't anything personal, most of us were in a study group together that had to go take an exam at the same time he was speaking, and well there was free pizza, before an exam, what did you think was going to happen?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Former Premier Jean Charest was expected to speak at McGill about pipelines or something. THREE protestors shouted him down. Were they escorted out you ask? Nope. They stopped the talk and out went Charest.

McGill keeps calling for money here (my wife is an alumni) and they aint' getting a red cent until they stop this shit.

[creech]

I hope she's telling them why. Libertarians and others opposed to this shit need to speak up. Suppose a million people told PayPal that their decision to pull operations out of North Carolina was causing them to look elsewhere for a vendor? Many of the companies and colleges that cave to anti-liberty demands would think twice if substantial numbers of opponents threatened a boycott.

[EMD]

Did the student protesters wear any shit made in China? Have iPhones?

Oh, they only care about certain civil rights. Got it.

[Notorious UGCC]

Ooh, another student protest, this time about a university election.

The usual hijinks ensue - student rioters throw stones at motorists, angry cops beat prone and helpless students with heavy canes...

Wait, what?

[Notorious UGCC]

Fearsome Scottish warriors and their Amazonian women strike terror into the community as they occupy a university building. If William Wallace had fighters like these, he could easily have beaten the English.

[OldMexican with sails unfurled]

Highlighting its demands in a short statement, People and Planet Edinburgh said: "We are occupying Charles Stewart House in demand that the university publicly commits to not reinvesting in any companies that attain more than five per cent of their profit from fossil fuel or arms."

"We at the Edinburgh University are highly committed to the sensibilities and passions of out students. Therefore, we promise not to reinvest in companies that attain more than five per cent pf their profits from fossil fuel or arms. We will also raise the price of tuition to match. You can thank the members of People and Planet Edinburgh personally for that; a list of names, phones and addresses will be posted at the cafeteria all week. Thank you."

[commodious spittoon]

I wonder what percentage of their consumption comes from petroleum or petroleum byproducts. Because if it's above 5%, they're full of shit.

Oh, what's that? Every product conceivable has in its supply chain unbreakable links of petroleum use? Their astronomical quality of life depends inextricably on petroleum use? And they're not offering to forego most of those benefits? You mean they're full of shit after all? SHOCKED.

[Rhywun]

I thought Israel was the worst thing ever, now it's fossil fuels. I wish these kids would make up their minds already.

[Matrix]

I wonder if the left will call them terrorists and hope the government sends in their federal agents to kill them. That's what they call for here in America when ranchers occupy an otherwise empty building.

[Matrix]

I wonder if the left will call them terrorists and hope the government sends in their federal agents to kill them. That's what they call for here in America when ranchers occupy an otherwise empty building.

[Lord Humungus]

Last week someone mentioned the Suicide Forest in Japan.

Vice had this rather touching documentary on it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FDSdg09df8

[straffinrun]

Great, now I'm just "someone" that you used to know?

[Lord Humungus]

Well we've never met for drinks or fought a war together...

[straffinrun]

Once more unto The Breach! Just thought The Breach would be a good name for a bar.
I've seen that documentary and it is rather wild.

[prolefeed]

Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook blasted out a fundraising memo as Sanders was rolling to victory in Wisconsin, saying Clinton's delegate lead "is nearly insurmountable."

He said the Sanders camp, in pushing for an open convention, is trying to "flip delegates' votes, overturning the will of the voters."

Sooo ... he's saying that if Sanders wins the majority of pledged delegates, he'll urge the superdelegates who are in the tank for Clinton to vote for Sanders?

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

What a mook!

::Hangs head and awaits narrowed gaze.::

[OneOut]

*looks around for Swiss*

*narrows glaze*

Hey I'm just a fill in.

[Notorious UGCC]

"Madeline Wilson has been raising eyebrows at St. Olaf College with her T-shirt: "Ask me how my college is protecting my rapist."...

"Wilson says the rape occurred last May, the week before finals, but she waited until September to report it to the college, and until December to report it to police.

"Why the delay? "At the time, I couldn't have coped with it," she said. "I just mentally smothered it as much as possible." She admits she was intoxicated at the time; so much so, she said, that she was in no condition to consent to sex. But she remembers telling the student "no."

"That summer, she said, when she finally told a friend what happened, "I realized, wow, if anyone else had described the situation to me, I would have said immediately, that's rape.""

[Drake]

Her -shirt should say "Too lazy to report rape"

[John]

Or "ask me about how I lie about being raped".

[Rhywun]

"Like, I think I was raped and stuff."

[prolefeed]

"Need a new boyfriend. Old one pissed about my false rape charges."

[Mongo]

"Why are you looking at my chest?"

[Mustang]

Watch the teaser trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Watched it. Looks fucking sweet. I don't know if I can handle the disappoint I felt after The Force Awakens but I'm sure I'll see it anyways. Please don't let it suck.

[UnCivilServant]

My first impression was the lead can't emote to save her life. And the tube at the end looks like one of the firing channels for the death star, so the next instant is a green glow and the lead being vaporized.

[Notorious UGCC]

(Crocodile Hunter-style narration):

"Now, here ya see a herd of student activists...tya gotta watch hese little buggers, if you let 'em lay a guilt trip on ya yer a goner...listen to that chanting, I think it's their mating call...we've called in the riot police to clear them out of the area...let's watch..."

[Derpetologist]

There's one creature that deserves a thumb up its butt hole.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fynWOio9jBo

[Rhywun]

to protest the coalition's proposal to deregulate university fees

What's next... demands to sever mac 'n' cheese on Tuesdays AND Thursdays?

[Pope Jimbo]

So the Feds believe that adding non-game birds on the Federal Duck Stamp will actually get non-hunters to buy them in order to support the habitat for things like Herons. Hunters are in a tizzy

I'm not sure I get the upset. Big deal.

Besides the 1998 Minnesoda Hunting Regs were very popular for some reason with NAMBLA.

[Zeb]

If the idea is to get non-hunters to buy the stamps and help fund wildlife preserves that are good for hunters, I don't see the problem.

[Hidebehindyourcause]

No surprise since liberals seethe at the thought of racist redneck hunters hurting those poor defenseless fuzzies

[Stormy Dragon]

Ted Cruz "has outmaneuvered Trump in all the caucus states" and is positioning himself to enjoy "a tactical advantage should the party's presidential nomination come down to a rare contested convention."

If the only way to win the Republican nomination does so much damage to the party that there's no chance of winning in November, has the nominee actually won anything?

[John]

No he hasn't. But I became convinced a while back that the party big wigs would rather lose in November than win on anything but their terms. The Obama years have sucked for the country. They have, however, been a golden age for Republicans in Washington. The Republicans own the Congress and most of the state houses all still can avoid responsibility for anything by blaming the President. Thanks to the presidential veto, they don't actually have to deliver anything to their supporters. They can just go about the serious business of stealing and paying off cronies.

The same is true of Republican activists and media hacks. A Republican Presidency would likely mean the Republicans own all three branches of government. It is a lot more fun to be an activist or hack journalist raging at the powers that be than it is defending the powers that be. Like their political counter parts, the Obama era has been a very good time to be a conservative activist or hack journalist. A lot better time and a lot more fun than the Bush era was.

A Hillary President would suck balls for the country. It would not however be bad at all for Republican Politicians and assorted party hacks.

[creech]

What they need to watch out for, though, is losing the Senate.

[John]

Yeah. They are more afraid of that than anything. The whole point is to steal. And losing the Senate makes that a lot harder.

[Hidebehindyourcause]

I tend to agree with most of what you said, but Obama supporters think we're in good shape, as do most Democrats.

Also when it comes to the next general election, I don't want to hear Republicans blaming Obama constantly. I want to hear viable solutions to the problems that the country faces. Unlikely, true, but hey I can wish.

I'm probably voting LP for the second consecutive election anyways, but I'll still listen to what all of the candidates have to say prior to making my decision, regardless.

[Thisisalongname]

This is just smart play by Ted Cruz. It's not like party leaders stepping in and pushing a candidate on us, Cruz has won several states, some by over 50%, and wouldn't be a candidate brought out of the back room. Abe Lincoln won in a contested convention and went on to win the general election (and our hearts

[John]

If Cruz continues to win, he has a chance of being a legitimate nominee. No one other than Trump and Cruz does.

[prolefeed]

It's not like Trump has won many (any? too lazy to google) states by 50%. Arguably, Trump might have lost almost every state if he went head to head with Cruz.

No love on my part for either of them, FWIW.

[John]

If Trump doesn't win another primary, sure. But he likely is going to win several. And it is basically one on one now. And never in the past has anyone cared about the nominee winning 50%. They only care now because they are mendacious crap weasels who hate Trump.

Had Rubio or Christie or Bush done what Trump did early, the rest of the field would have dropped out and the whole thing would be over.

[Thisisalongname]

"And never in the past has anyone cared about the nominee winning 50%."

It's not a complaint, it's a rebuttal against Trump wanting himself declared the nominee even if he doesn't get the 1237 delegates needed. Hard to argue that you are the chosen one when you have only won 37% of votes cast.

"And it is basically one on one now."

There is some good data showing that if it were Trump and Cruz from the start, Cruz would have the higher delegate count. Just by getting over 50% in Texas he would have had a 92 delegate swing. It's all hypothetical though since it hasn't been a two man race and there are tons of factors.

"Had Rubio or Christie or Bush done what Trump did early, the rest of the field would have dropped out and the whole thing would be over."

If Christie or Bush had 37% of the vote early in a crowded field, then repbulican voters obviously weren't as mad at their party or big government policies as was expected. However, both Trump and Cruz represent anti-establishment voters and combines they were getting over 50% of the vote, so it's safe to say none of those candidates could have done that. Maybe Rubio as he is a little in both categories, but he needed time and more senate votes in order to erase the burn of the Gang of 8 from his record.

[Hidebehindyourcause]

Rubio has potential, but he does come across as scripted and inexperienced. If voters weren't sick of the Repub establishment and he'd gotten the nomination, I don't know how well he'd hold up in debates against Hillary. He struggled a few times against Trump, and at the end resorted to penis comments in an effort to stay in the race.

Democrats would probably rather face Trump than Rubio in the general, but to say they were "scared" of him is probably something that a bunch of conservatives thought up.

[bacon-magic]

Correct.

[Thisisalongname]

I agree. Anyone else would require a rule change and that is going to cause many to see the results as illegitimate.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

According to a new report, one of the Brussels suicide bombers worked briefly as a cleaner at the European Parliament.

They should bring him back as a diversity hire.

[John]

Dalmia assures me that these guys would never become terrorists if they had jobs. Unemployed people all over the world decide to blow themselves up. Haven't you noticed how there is a spate of suicide bombings whenever there is a recession and the unemployment rate goes up? Didn't you read about the wave of suicide bombings that happened during the Depression?

[But Enough About Me]

National Beer Day?

On behalf of my fellow Canadians everywhere, I'd like to wish my brothers and sisters to the south a very happy holiday, and will partake all day long in solidarity with this most blessed of days.

Make America Great Again!

[Notorious UGCC]

Take off, hoser, don't tell Americans how to drink beer, eh?

[But Enough About Me]

"How are American beer and making love in a canoe similar?
They're both fucking close to water!"

Badumdump!

Thank you! I'm here all week!

[[e-mail]]

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[thatrefril]

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[ammythomas11256]

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[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Forget USA V. Canada. It would have to be between states and provinces.

[gaoxiaen]

Okay. But not very soon.

[CatoTheChipper]

Sure they do --- and it's all the fault of Bush, the GOP, and heartless libertarians.