Poverty

Rejoice: Fat Fucks Now Outnumber Starving People on Earth!

Predictably, historic triumph over poverty is seen as next big problem.

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Imgur.com

For the first time in the long and mostly sad history of humanity, "there are now more fatty lardbuckets on the planet than there are undernourished people," notes the Adam Smith Insitute, a British libetarian think tank.

More precisely, a study in the British medical journal The Lancet that looked at global Body Mass Indices (BMIs) finds that, between 1975 and 2014, "The world has transitioned from an era when underweight prevalence was more than double that of obesity, to one in which more people are obese than underweight." Global lifespans over the same 40-year period cranked up from 59 years to over 71 years and while malnutrition still persists in places, The Lancet notes, "The world is at once fatter and healthier."

The reasons for this momentous tipping of the scales are mostly linked to all the things current candidates running for president of the United States have lately started attacking, such as freer trade, globalization, and automation. Some of our trade deficit with China, for instance, surely ends up being consumed as food by the people there, whose long history of starving was part of every baby boomer and even GenXer's childhood: Eat your food. There are children starving in China. The machines, robots, and other technology that free all but 1 percent of Americans from agriculture (what Marx and Engels themselves slagged as "the idiocy of rural life) mean we get more food out of smaller numbers people and smaller plots of land. And of course, letting the wretched of the Earth move from poorer countries to richer countries plays a role (even as those poorer countries themselves get richer).

Humanprogress.org

As Reason's Ronald Bailey, whose book The End of Doom, exhaustively charts these sorts of great improvements in other areas, writes, "poverty and with it, malnourishment] has been receding at the same time that economic freedom has been rising around the globe."

But of course every silver lining must include a cloud, right? And so The Lancet sees not a cause of celebration when "what's for lunch" is no longer quite the existential riddle but only grounds for gloom and doom. As one of the authors of the study says:

Although it is reassuring that the number of underweight individuals has decreased over the last four decades, global obesity has reached crisis point.

We hope these findings create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments and to develop and implement policies to address obesity.

I'm pretty confident that state-based solutions to people having too much food will lick that problem like, well, Mr. Creosote licking his plate. Aren't you?

Full study here.

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  1. Oh shit, it’s Mr. Creosote!

    1. Just give him a wafer thin mint and he’ll go away.

      1. Get me a bucket – I’m gonna puke.

        1. +1 bucket, +1 cleaning woman

          1. Life’s a game
            Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose
            And though I might be on my knees right now
            At least I don’t work for Jews

  2. Treadmill manufacturers rejoice.

    1. The Lancet, meta-analysis, and BMI… it’s like getting a hot tip from your bookie that the sun will rose this morning.

      1. I see the anti-science crowd is out in full force. The BMI is pure science in its simplest form!

        1. BMI is an okay measure for normal people. You only sound like an idiot when you try to apply it to children or people like Warty.

          1. Warty is BMI obese. He needs to make peace with this. It is the first step to changing to a healthier lifestyle.

            1. Warty needs to do more squats.

              1. It is not possible for Warty to do more squats than he currently does, even with the Doomcock’s ability to generate closed timelike loops and thereby create entire pocket universes in which Warty perpetually squats. Warty is already, always, performing infinite squats across all 11 spatial dimensions, as well as six other dimensions that map human-incomprehensible geometries.

                If you can see Warty, he can see you. If you can’t see Warty, it is because he has momentarily squatted behind something (and/or is traveling towards you at a significant fraction of the speed of light).

            2. My BMI is like 33.5, dude. I mean, I’d like to be able to see more of my abz, don’t get me wrong. But.

              1. Is Warty real, or is he a construct of Skynet?

          2. This sort of thing is probably the best use of BMI. It says very little about an individual’s health, but it probably says something meaningful about populations, particularly when talking about changes over time. Undernourished people aren’t going to be fat and they aren’t going to be Warty-like muscle freaks with high BMI either.

            1. But, to a degree, what you’re talking about is using a metric that includes Scandinavians to judge the health of Pacific Islanders base on a metric that has poor morbidity/mortality predictive value for either Scandinavians or Pacific Islanders (or good for Scandinavians and poor for PIers).

              Libertarianism aside, the problem is obesity in-and-of-itself isn’t intrinsically a disease. Or, libertarianism mixed in, obesity is a disease the way playing football or driving a car is a disease.

              1. True. But I’m looking at this mostly as good news. And a generally increasing BMI in places where lack of nutrition was recently a problem is a good indicator.

              2. And if you look at the change in BMI in the same population over time, it should tell you something, if not necessarily how many people are actually overweight or obese.

        2. I see the anti-science crowd is out in full force. The BMI is pure science in its simplest form!

          The BMI is pure science the way CO2 absorbing IR is pure science. Unfortunately for both/either, The Lancet isn’t a physics journal and they’ve rather literally invented the notion of a global-average BMI and indicated that it should be influenced one way or the other from the top down.

          Seriously Fist, feel free to call me an obesity-epidemic denier, I’ll own it.

          1. WHAT IS YOUR BMI? ANSWER THE QUESTION.

      1. It must be spring break. I don’t think he intended to get any upvotes. Whoops.

        1. Because nothing makes Playa look bad like the sheer lack of integrity on the part of a troll.

  3. You know, Nick, some of us refer our non-libertarian friends to this website from time to time. The gratuitous vulgarities in the titles can be off-putting. I don’t expect commenters to restrain themselves, but reason should.

      1. I just clicked your link at work…lol. They’ve come to expect this from me.

        1. I’m happy to help keep up appearances.

    1. Fuck yeah!

      1. Your outrage, outrages me!

        1. This is just outrageous.

      1. wut

    2. gratuitous vulgarities

    3. It’s problematic, right?

      1. creech is all like “I can’t even with u rite now…”

    4. The fuck is creech’s problem?

      1. He just discovered that the stick up his ass isn’t GMO-free.

    5. Oh creech. Just when I am about to write Nick off because of some hopelessly dumb thing he has said he goes and writes something like this and I have to give him a gold star.

    6. Fuck you, pussy. Suck the balls out of my ass. Dick.

      1. Shouldn’t you be in 8th grade English class about now?

        1. No, after he repeated 8th grade for the 19th time they just gave him a diploma and told him to get out.

  4. This fatty is storing food for the coming economic/social breakdown and/or new world order with a side of tinfoil. *stuffs another processed food good into orifice

    1. I’m using my pyramid to store food for the coming global collapse. Am I doing it wrong?

  5. Offensive to “people with large bodies”. *scowls*

      1. Gravitationally enabled? Horizontally enhanced?

          1. Spherical-American?

            1. They are kind of a special sub-category of the obese.

              1. Stars ‘n’ Stripes waving proudly from the back of a Rascal in the breeze of the Walmart AC.

                1. *manfully wipes tear of 100% pure quill patriotism*

    1. It’s funny how people are obsessed with having some PC term for it when every fat person I know refers to him or herself as “fat”. Because “fat” is the normal, informal word for it.

      1. IMO, the best part is, it’s the opposite of every other modern social movement and not for any lack of alternative PC terminology or even the desire to be labeled differently; but because that rebranding your victimhood is hard work and those other causes are really motivated.

        1. but it’s their genetics that make them fat, not their attitude.

  6. Some of our trade deficit with China, for instance, surely ends up being consumed as food by the people there, whose long history of starving was part of every baby boomer and even GenXer’s childhood

    Or, since most people don’t give a shit about what happens past their city’s limits, one could point to the fact that China is the largest international market for American farmers, counting for 20% of all ag exports, and that a tit-for-tat tariff war would end up screwing the pickup-truck owning, Real Tree camo wearing crowd the hardest.

    1. Yeah but you forget that a lot of people are morons.

        1. HM, making links great again.

        2. The Missouri educational system is a thing of wonder and beauty.

          1. Are you referring to Melissa Click!?!

            *hurls*

          1. *Narrows gaze at a hater. Those pennants will keep flying at the stadium…

    2. Let them eat rice cakes!!

      1. They’re not bad, if you use enough frosting.

        1. Drizzling them in honey helps the frosting stick better.

        1. At a real-deal dim sum place in Vancouver, I tried every variety of chicken feet they had – probably four?

          All were dreadful. Sorry, this gaijin just doesn’t get it.

          1. Another wonder of globalization. The Chinese will pay to import what no one here wants.

            1. Tyson (IIRC) tried to take advantage of just such an imbalance ages ago by exporting underutilized American dark meat to South Africa and importing white meat that South Africans. They were promptly hit with an antidumping lawsuit and fined.

              1. white meat that South Africans South African white meat.

                Also, this anecdote can be easily construed as racist.

    3. Agribusiness execs wear camo? ok

  7. We hope these findings create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments and to develop and implement policies to address obesity.

    The county workers are out trimming trees and clearing ditches. My nearest neighbor is for some reason offended by this. I am now being treated to a loud, vulgar shouting match as to which one of them gets the bigger check from the government in return for doing less.

    For the confused, they both are arguing they are the best-paid useless idiot, and also seem to think this gives them the moral high ground.

    Hope for your findings all you want. Take a piss in the other hand and see which fills the fastest.

    1. Take a piss in the other hand and see which fills the fastest.

      That’s kinda hot.

      1. +1 Golden mini shower

        1. You stop that or Creech’s friends are going to think less of us.

          1. Fuckin’ A

    2. /le sigh.

      Trump 2016….

      1. Helping or hurting, Simon?

    3. What does your neighbor do? At least clearing ditches is useful.

      1. Whatever it is, the government sends him a $4000 check for it every month. He is probably curing cancer or something equally worthwhile.

        1. Your neighbor is Joe Biden??

  8. “We hope these findings create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments and to develop and implement policies to address obesity.”

    Governments have been doing everything short of mandating that fat people run a mile every day and their solution is even less individual responsibility.

    Here’s a thought: I don’t care if someone prefers eating cheese curds to having abs and if you’re willing to trade a few years at the end of your life because you really, really love pie then that’s your business, not mine.

    1. Mmmmmmmm pie.

    2. That is the magic of government health care.. now it will be your business whether you like it or not.

      1. We’re all in it together.

        1. Is this one of those masterbation euphemisms I keep hearing about?

          1. It makes Creech more comfortable than “circle-jerk”.

            1. I always ended up eating the cookie.

              1. That’s what you get for injecting all that Vasalgel into your Johnson.

                1. Don’t talk about Gary that way!

    3. Government is flypaper for people who like to control others. If you have government, it will become this. It is inexorable.

      1. Even if you start with anarchy, eventually government will be created and grow. We are doomed to a cycle of never learning from the past. Cognitive dissonance and ignorance are a hell of a thing.

      2. Government is flypaper for people who like to control others.

        Except that flypaper actually kills what it attracts, by slowing starving its stuck victim to death.

        Wait! I have a cunning plan….

        1. Mandatory asbestos in all federal facilities.

    4. Governments have been doing everything short of mandating that people eat 3 pounds of pasta a day along with their low fat cookies and diet sodas.

    5. The Lancet is advocating bread lines. Give me a few minutes, I can’t find my surprise face. I know it is around here somewhere.

      The broccoli mandate is coming. Mark my words.

      1. The broccoli mandate is coming. Mark my words.

        BMI tax. A portion of your food budget will be appropriated based on your BMI in order to provide food to starving Asian kids. It’s for your own good.

      2. Hey, how many fatties did you see in the Soviet Union? FEEL THE BERN!

  9. You know one thing government could do to help ‘fight obesity?’

    Stop subsidizing sugar and corn syrup.

    1. Get yur hands off my corn sirup

    2. Then we would eat cheap foreign sugar or black market sugar. You can’t stop demand Irish.

      1. I mean cheap as less costly, not inferior.

      2. He would inflict Jew Coke upon all of us. This cannot stand!

        1. I’m okay with Jew coke… *looks around* as long as them Jews leave the weather alone!

    3. You know one thing government could do to help ‘fight obesity?’

      Kill the poors?

      1. Kill the fat?

  10. We hope these findings create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments and to develop and implement policies to address obesity.

    Fuck. Off. Slavers.

    1. Mandatory morning calisthenics!

      1. “Breadlines are a sign of economic health.”

  11. We hope these findings create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments

    Fuck you.

    1. What would these guys do?

      1. Ideally, starve to death.

    2. You cannot legislate responsibility — it will remain with the individual. What they want is for ENFORCEMENT to be granted to governments.

      1. Well said.

        1. Indeed.

          1. I agree with Hamster Johnson, that LP Johnson is right!
            /Florida Johnson

            1. Once you realize we’re all Epi, this place gets really meta.

              1. And then, when you realize that Epi is Tulpa, you hear a voice ask “WOULD… YOU… LIKE… TO… MEET… GOD?”

                1. “And from now on, Kent, stop playing with yourself.”

                  “It IS God!”

                1. + bag of infinite holding

            2. That there is some authentic libertarian gibberish!

              /prog

  12. We can’t make fun of guys with boob implants, but Nick can call fat people “fat fucks”? Cosmotarian rules are confusing.

    1. It depends on which cocktail party you are trying to get into that week.

  13. There’s a dystopian sci. fi. novel called The Method where a dictatorship has been established in order to safeguard the health of citizens.

    “Set in the mid-21st century, this novel by German Juli Zeh presents a chilling vision of a dystopian future that plays on our current obsession with health and mass surveillance. Mia Holl, a scientist, lives in a monitored house where the air quality is repeatedly checked, household waste and sewage tested, and public areas regularly disinfected. In return, she and other residents are entitled to cut-price power and water. It is all part of the Method, a system designed to ensure “a happy and healthy life, a life free from suffering and pain”.

    Citizens have mandatory testing and falling in love with someone “immunologically incompatible” is a capital offence.”

    I’m not positive that the people working at the Lancet would see why this is a dystopia.

    1. In return, she and other residents are entitled to cut-price power and water

      Which would eventually lead to shortages of both. It’s sad when even dystopians are too optimistic.

    2. Jack Williamson covered this in 1947.

      1. I think Zamyatin did it first.

        1. The interesting thing about the Williamson one is how it’s all supposed to be for everyone’s own good, and there is no maliciousness in the Humanoids; but that that’s where “protect from harm” goes to its logical conclusion.

          1. I read a book a few years ago called The Whisperers. It was a non fiction book that talked about the way post Soviet Russia dealt with the legacy of communism. People never talked about their pasts. If you had been an enemy of the people and spent a few years in the camps only later to be rehabilitated, you never talked about it. In the same way, if you had been one of the guards or an informer, you never talked about that either. So you had all of these strange cases of people who were inmates marrying other former inmates or even former guards and perpetrators of the terrors and neither person having any idea about the other person’s past.

            At one point in the book there are interviews with a couple of people who were on the front lines of the Ukrainian famine. These were the guys that went out and shot Kulacks for the crime of having a bag of grain they didn’t turn over to the government. These were the guys who went out and took food away from starving children and shot their parents for having the food in the first place. And none of them regretted it or felt bad about it. They were all convinced they were doing what is necessary to build the better communist world to come. It has to be one of the most disturbing things I have ever read in my life.

            1. -23 brands of deodorant

              1. This weekend i heard the best and worst joke I have ever heard in my life. My dad is having a beer talking to a few other people at the bar. And they have this long ranging conversation about politics and history and such and the subject of World War II comes up. One of the guys sitting at the bar says “yeah I had a relative die in the Holocaust”. The conversation naturally comes to a half for a moment. The guy then says “he fell out of a guard tower”.

                I feel so guilty but that has to be one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

                1. *Files away for moment when maximally offensive joke is needed*

    3. Harrison Bergeron but with food?

    4. There’s a dystopian sci. fi. novel called The Method where a dictatorship has been established in order to safeguard the health of citizens.

      This ‘sci-fi’ novel is called “the last four presidential elections”.

    5. I’m not positive that the people working at the Lancet would see why this is a dystopia.

      Because it’s not similar enough to the ideal world depicted in 1984.

      RTFM.

  14. I was a fat fuck for a while. Now I’m back to being just a fuck.

    It’s amazing what portion control can do. And I didn’t even need to government to help me.

    1. Portion control does wonders. You just have to have self control.

      1. People shouldn’t have to be responsible for portions when dirty capitalists will sell them as much as they want. Much better to have the government issue out portions, that way the people aren’t confronted with uncomfortable decisions and shame if they choose the wrong size.

        – Statist fuckstain

        1. Nobody needs more than 1 portion size.

          /BernieBro’s

          1. Bernxecutive Order #42: Henceforth, 5 Guys will only be 1 Guy.

            1. Okay, that’s not funny.

              *stuffs mouth with fries seasoned with salty tears*

    2. Yeah, i considered not eating goldfish straight out of the bag anymore. Briefly.

    3. It’s amazing what portion control can do. And I didn’t even need to government to help me.

      Portion control alone doesn’t (necessarily) do it correctly.

      Considering the medical community is, by-and-large, still baffled about how to remedy the situation (Hilariously, bariatric surgery seems to be a/the preferred epidemiological solution) in general or specific cases, I’m loathe to accept population-wide solutions that aren’t ‘everything in moderation’-type anecdotes. I’m also certain that it’s a phenomenally complex problem that any/all governments will fuck up, intentionally or otherwise.

  15. We hope these findings create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments and to develop and implement policies to address obesity.

    Some kind of training camp perhaps? While these lazy slobs are there they can go through some learning about how to combat sexual assault and violence. Perhaps a few lessons on just how great some state programs are? Wouldn’t that be great?!

    On a more serious note, die in a fire you statist fuckstain.

    1. Mrs. Choksondik: Kyle, if you are going to be in my classroom you’re going to have to concentrate.

      Cartman: Maybe we should send him to concentration camp!

    2. Losing weight is a simple if brutal proposition, eat less and exercise more. So, yes, the government will solve this problem through mandatory exercise programs and calorie restrictions. Those who can meet these goals voluntarily will be allowed to do so. Those who can’t, will end up going to some sort of fat reeducation camp.

      You think I am joking but that is exactly what these assholes would do if they ever had the power. It would start with taxes and cutting off anyone who didn’t lose weight from health care and health insurance. When that didn’t work, they would fine employers for having fat employees and make it impossible for fat people to work. And when that failed, they would just lock the remaining fat people up and starve them.

      I would like to laugh but i can’t because they are so serious.

      1. I don’t think you’re joking. It doesn’t take much to envision a President Sanders doing exactly something like this, except it won’t be called “rationing,” it will be called “portion control.”

        1. Its so easy through the corporatist set up Obama has finished creating. All he would have to do is fine the living shit out of any employer whose employees are overweight and massively increase the health insurance premiums of anyone who is overweight. Then anyone who is overweight can’t get a job or access to health care. Then when they cant’ get a job they end up on unemployment and welfare. Once that happens, you tell them to either go to the camps or starve.

          The whole thing will be “voluntary”.

        2. They’re not “death panels,” they’re rationing boards.

          1. Peoples’ Health Committees

      2. the government will solve this problem through mandatory exercise programs and calorie restrictions.

        Mandatory calisthenics while waiting in the breadlines.

      3. So, yes, the government will solve this problem through mandatory exercise programs and calorie restrictions.<<br /
        What will this do to my chocolate ration?

        1. Depends on your current BMI JW.

        2. The chocolate ration has always been 3 ounces.

          1. Only since it was raised from 4 ounces, due to Great Leader’s generosity!

            1. Let the strong wind of chocolate farming blow across the country!

      4. Those who can meet these goals voluntarily will be allowed to do so. Those who can’t, will end up going to some sort of fat reeducation camp.

        Where they will learn to follow the food pyramid and limit their consumption of fatty foods in favor of bread and rice. All to make sure that they fit precisely into their proper place on the BMI Index.

        Because Science!!!

  16. http://thelibertarianrepublic……rationing/

    Bernie Sanders and his socialist comrades are working to solve this problem. Think how happy everyone will be after they are freed from the stress associated with dieting and weight loss?

    1. Freedom from dieting and weight loss?

      *faints*

      1. The camps will be great for you. Hard work, fresh air, a healthy calorie restricted diet, drab clothes, freedom from harmful propaganda, away from all of the stress associated with unnecessary and decadent choices, you will have all the things necessary for a productive and meaningful socialist life.

        1. And if anybody were to point out what this place really is, they would be labelled a racist right winger thug in the pocket of Big Food.

    2. “In fact, recently discovered video shows Sanders praising food lines as a good thing. Sanders asserts that countries where people don’t line up for food that the poor are starving to death because “the rich get all the food.””

      This is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. It’s vastly dumber than anything Donald Trump has said but will get no play in the major media.

      1. It is not retarded, it is fucking evil. Retarded implies a benign stupidity. There is nothing benign about Bernie.

        And if Bernie somehow manages to get the nomination, I suspect this video will get a bit more play than it has.

        1. “And if Bernie somehow manages to get the nomination, I suspect this video will get a bit more play than it has.”

          If Donald Trump gets the Republican nomination, Bernie Sanders could call for the implementation of gulags and no one other than Reason, National Review, and the right-wing blogosphere would care.

          1. That might put a hiccup in the Libertarian Argument For Sanders, but potholes in the road to progress should not distress the bold!

          2. But Kevin Williamson is a bitter elitist for caring about genuine conservative principles and deriding the capricious anger of low-info voters.

          3. I doubt National Review would care, they hate Trump more than they hate the Democrats.

            1. I think they’d talk shit about both. Williamson keeps getting attacked by Trumpsters because he talks shit about them, but he’s also gotten attacked by Sanders supporters for (accurately) attacking Sanders as a national socialist.

              1. If it were Trump Sanders, NRO would want Sanders to win. If Trump were to win the Presidency, NRO and the strange brand of NeoCon internationalism, libertarian commitment to free trade and conservative social values would go the way of the old Rockefeller Republicans. They would be left completely in the wilderness.

          4. If Donald Trump gets the Republican nomination, Bernie Sanders could call for the implementation of gulags and no one other than Reason, National Review, and the right-wing blogosphere would care.

            I’m pretty sure a goodly fraction of the Reason staff would prefer Sanders to Trump, so your list of who would care might be a little long.

        2. Stupid and evil are not really that distinguishable from each other when coupled with power.

          1. Evil gets more done.

        3. It is not retarded, it is fucking evil. Retarded implies a benign stupidity.

          Okay, but what do you call malicious stupidity? Obviously, it’s a subset of evil, but I think some distinction is needed.

          1. what do you call malicious stupidity?

            Tulpa.

      2. Just spend some time on DU. I guarantee you will find something even more retarded in just a few minutes.

      3. His dipshit college supporters will think waiting in the breadline will be fun, like waiting to get into a concert or something.

  17. Isn’t Western praise for starvation diets another form of cultural appropriation? Or is it the starving who are culturally appropriating the decadent lifestyles where people tend not to starve to death?
    In either case, surely it must stop. Cultures must be kept pure!

    How odd that the Lancet is unable to detect the fact that when governments were in control of people’s diets, people starved? With examples like North Korea ready to hand, it seems data is being ignored.

    1. Surely you can’t be serious.

      1. You’re a winner.

        *glitter bomb*

    2. Isn’t Western praise for starvation diets another form of cultural appropriation?

      Yeah, Bernie sanders is appropriating North Korean culture.

      1. Well, he’s trying. But as with everything a socialist tries, it’s not going well. Probably the wrong people are in charge of the effort.

        1. Or plain old “bad luck”!

    3. Oh, Europe has had plenty of starvation in the not too distant past. I think that is one thing nearly all cultures share.

      It is always worth pointing out that famine never happens in a reasonably capitalistic country that isn’t at war, though.

    4. “Isn’t Western praise for starvation diets another form of cultural appropriation?”

      *slow clap*

  18. The next phase in “social justice”: the Alinskyite left will tell us that white people are eating too damn much, and every grocery store and fast food joint between Interstate 5 and the Hudson River will be closed down by joint White House/United Nations decree and all the food will be diverted to the Middle East or something.

    1. Jesus fucking Christ! Do you ever stop?

      1. Stop what? Telling the truth?

        No, I will not stop mocking our overlords in retaliation for what it is they’re doing to us. And I don’t care if I’m the last person left on earth who’s willing to do it.

        1. If you were really interested in telling the truth, you’d mention that the shape-shifting Lizard People sacrificed Whitney for the jubilee of the Queen Elizabeth!

          WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

          1. Sonovabitch! I KNEW IT!!11!!!!

      2. Listen, and understand! That Commentor is out there! It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are bored to death.

      3. He won’t stop until Block Yomamma has been sent back to the ghetto with all the other trash, HM. He’s just fighting for America and against the assault on the Merican way of life by evil people like Shrillary Cliton and Hairy Greed.

        1. Where does Bummie Scamderps fit into all of this?

      4. Persecution complexes and deep conspiracy theorizing require a belief from the person engaging in them that there is in fact a targeted, organized plot against them. They are incapable–or unwilling–to realize that much of the malicious shit that happens is not by design, but rather a result of other factors. Believing in ultra-complex and massively elaborate and planned conspiracies is a way of them telling themselves that they are important, both because such powerful shadowy figures are after them and want to silence them, and because someone cares enough to plot against them.

        It’s basically a type of elaborate ego defense. It’s their way of insisting to themselves that they are important, and matter to people.

        1. Absolutely. It’s not Mike’s fault that he was “left behind”, it’s the [insert other here]’s fault!

        2. Hey, your issues with your mom are your business.

          1. No, those are my issues with *your* mom. By the way, she says hi and don’t expect her home tonight. Again.

            1. Yeah, I haven’t expected her home since 2008. When she died,
              And I know you haven’t been banging her because she’s still in my attic in her favorite rocking chair.

              1. Dude, I have a grappling hook, lots of formaldehyde, and very quiet shoes. You have no idea what’s been going on. We’re in love!

                1. I thought that was the house settling! SONOVABITCH!!

        3. Just the kind of deflection I would expect from one of ….THEM!

          1. the giant ants?

          2. “The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. “Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does.” They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.”

            A. Huxley.

            1. Stanley Milgram approves

  19. So much fat-shaming, can’t process level of downtwinkles required

  20. I was out getting my morning pizza. What did I miss?

    1. a fuck fest.

  21. Let’s see:

    Control of your children’s education. Check.
    Control of your retirements/pension. Check.
    Control of medical care. Check.

    No slippery slope here.

    1. We know why the caged bird sings. It’s because wifi and medical innovations made the bird’s life better, all in all and one thing taken with another.

    2. Control of your children’s education. Check.

      Only if you send them for free daycare.

      1. Many states have laws delineating and delimiting how private schools and homeschooling can operate. And they do send reps from the State Board of Ed. to hector you.

        1. Do they eat out their substance?

          *sniggers*

        2. If I hear one more report on NPR on the “unregulated day care industry” which, by the way is defined as single-mom dropping off daughter at mom’s house while she goes to work at Jack in the Box.

          1. From the front porch of my house, i can see no less than three unregulated day cares, by which i mean houses where old ladies babysit a couple of neighbors’ kids in order to make some side lettuce.

        3. That’s why you never let them know you even have children in the first place.

  22. Sanders asserts that countries where people don’t line up for food that the poor are starving to death because “the rich get all the food./i

    That fucking Little Red Hen never shares her cake with the deserving poor.

    1. +1 God of the Copybook Heading

  23. “Giving society cheap, abundant food would be the equivalent of giving an idiot child an edible machine gun.”

    1. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

      /P.J O’Rourke

      1. + 1 Jack and Coke on a Texas summer evening, in a buddy’s T-top Camaro

        Seriously, good times. Its a miracle we all survived.

  24. Women’s team players sue U.S. Soccer over allegations of wage discrimination:

    Citing this disparity, as well as rising revenue numbers, five players on the women’s team filed a federal complaint Wednesday, accusing U.S. Soccer of wage discrimination because, they said, they earned as little as 40 percent of what players on the United States men’s national team earned even as they marched to the team’s third World Cup championship last year.

    “The numbers speak for themselves,” said goalkeeper Hope Solo, one of the players to sign the complaint. “We are the best in the world, have three World Cup championships, four Olympic championships.” Solo said the men’s players “get paid more to just show up than we get paid to win major championships.”

    U.S. Soccer officials pushed back forcefully on the players’ claims in a conference call Thursday night, citing figures that the federation said showed the men’s national team produced revenue and attendance about double that of the women’s team, and television ratings that were “a multiple” of what the women attract, according to Sunil Gulati, the U.S. Soccer president.

    More people tune in to watch men lose than to watch women win. Is that sexist or is women’s soccer really that dull?

    1. Solo needs the money for bail and lawyers fees…

    2. They could save some money if they didn’t eat out so often.

    3. Femputer: Hmm. Perhaps men are not as evil as Femputer thinks.

      Thog: But they make fun women’s basketball.

      Femputer: What? Did you explain how the women’s good fundamentals make up for their inability to dunk?

      Ornik: Yes. They still laugh.

      Femputer: The men must die!

    4. “”The numbers speak for themselves,” said goalkeeper Hope Solo, one of the players to sign the complaint. “We are the best in the world, have three World Cup championships, four Olympic championships.” Solo said the men’s players “get paid more to just show up than we get paid to win major championships.””

      And the women’s soccer team gets paid more just to show up than the women’s national curling team would if they won a major championship. Clearly this shows unfair discrimination against curlers since there’s no way revenue numbers are any different.

      1. Just from curiosity, I thought pros couldn’t compete in the Olympics? What’s up with that?

        1. They wouldn’t let the poets in, why would prose be an event?

          1. Almanian would have worked Fist’s sunglasses into that joke. This is why he’ll be president and you won’t.

            1. I’m not for this conversation. I think you need to run for president if you’re going to be president, and I’m not running for president. So period, end of story.

              1. A-HA. He didn’t say, “let me be clear”. Therefore, unclear and open to interpretation.

        2. Pros have been allowed to compete for quite some time now. I think it started when people got pissed about the Soviets fielding what were essentially professional national teams against college kids, so they decided that the best should compete against the best.

        3. The IOC removed the amateurism requirement in 1971, and the US removed it from American athletes in 1986.

          1. Huh. Thanks, y’all, the extent of my knowledge on this was remembering some kerfuffle about “… this is why the US doesn’t just send the Chicago Bulls as their entry for US men’s basketball.”

            1. the extent of my knowledge on caring about this…

            2. 1. That’s pretty much what we do, most notably in 1992 and 1996.

              2. A lot of pro players don’t want to play in the Olympics, and risk injury, even though they could.

              3. An increasingly large number of NBA players are non-American, and would be ineligible for the US team, although many play on the teams from their home country (e.g. Yao Ming was on the Chinese Olympic Team in 2000, 2004, and 2008.)

            3. You’ve never heard of the Dream Team?

              1. There’s no way to answer that which isn’t setting myself up for a short joke.

      2. Solo thinks she should be paid because she is the best at something and not because anyone cares to pay to watch her do it. The best ping pong or squash player in the world can say the exact same thing Solo is. Yet, LaBron James and Christiano Reinaldo both make exponentially more money for being the best in their sports.

        Earth to Hope, your pay is based on the amount of review you produce not how good you are at whatever it is you do.

        1. Hope is just an aficionado of the labor theory of value.

          1. Exactly that.

    5. Did these women sign agreements with US Soccer regarding compensation? Are they being paid what they agreed to? If so, then STFU.

      1. Look, women aren’t any good at negotiating, at least when sex isn’t involved. They need recourse to discrimination laws so that the beneficent state can bargain on their behalves and they won’t need to worry their pretty little heads about talking tough with the mean old men. It’s about being fair and equal.

    6. television ratings that were “a multiple” of what the women attract

      Might help to be a bit more specific there. You can multiply by less than 1.

    7. Disappointing. I actually enjoy watching them play but it’s obvious they don’t put butts in the seats the way the men do. And of course the NYTimes is more than eager to step in and spin this into a giant DISCRIMINATION!!!11! fantasy.

  25. Not surprised – the Lancet also publishes endless ‘Addiction is a disease’ garbage. In fact the leading cause of obesity at least in the US is agricultural subsidies (primarily for corn) that make junk food irresistible compared to healthier alternatives. The solution is not to end subsidies, of course, but to regulate the size of soft drinks and taxes on sweets and other policies that have all been shown to backfire and make the problem worse. By keeping regions of the world undernourished, US farmers will maintain huge markets to dump their overstock, which undermines their local economies and perpetuates the problem of malnutrition. Yay government.

    1. I think people smoking less didn’t help. Then there is the fact that the government has been spent the last 40 years banning any kind of over the counter speed. I don’t buy for a minute that people have gotten fatter because they are any lazier or different than they were 50 years ago. I think it is a combination of agriculture subsidies causing everything to be made with corn syrup, people no longer smoking, and the government banning speed and by extension any kind of effective diet pill.

      1. And pushing carb-heavy, low-fat diets as preventative therapy for obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.

        1. That didn’t help either. It also would not surprise me if the “low fat” products that have been pushed are in fact making us fatter.

          1. Taubes is pretty explicit about that. When you reduce fat content, you have to add something to make up the taste deficit. Sugar ends up being the go-to, so your yogurt now has 1g of fat but 20g of carbs. I’ll take plain Greek yogurt with a handful of walnuts or blueberries.

            1. A few years ago I brought this amazing ham back from Italy. It was not low fat or low calorie by any means. Since it was incredibly good and I only had so much of it, I rationed it out very slowly and took it on sandwiches for lunch. It was so good that you didn’t need much of it to make a sandwich satisfying. I actually lost weight when I was eating that stuff for lunch every day because it was so much more satisfying than the crap I bought here that I ate less of it and other things during the day than I did eating the American stuff.

            2. It is just idiotic how little full fat yogurt there is among the 8,000 different kinds of yogurt available in your typical grocery store. When I wanted some yogurt for cooking, I had a hell of a time finding the one thing of plain, full fat, unsweetened stuff.

              1. I’m not sure how widely distributed it is, but Mexican crema is a good substitute for yogurt or sour cream. Thicker than the latter and a little more sour than the former.

              2. It is just idiotic how little full fat yogurt there is among the 8,000 different kinds of yogurt available in your typical grocery store.

                I like cottage cheese and it’s the same thing.

                1. I prefer cottage cheese as something to eat. But I have no problem locating the whole milk version of that. Maybe it’s just that my provincial little grocery store doesn’t have a full cottage cheese section.

                  1. Probably not as bad as with yogurt, but it’s bad enough that I once bought low-fat by mistake.

              3. Siggi’s 4% fat yogurt is the best yogurt I’ve ever had, and it is pretty low in sugar.

          2. I think people do tend to be more sedentary these days, especially in childhood.

      2. I’d bet that people are less active on average than they once were. Which is good in some ways (less injuries at work is one obvious one). I still think that’s a big factor, but I bet less smoking and stimulant use has made some contribution too.

        1. Yes, I lay the obesity epidemic at least partly at the feet of anti-smoking activists. No question that has made people fat.

          1. And people tried to tell me that smoking wasn’t cool or sexy.

          2. “made”?

            I cannot inhale tobacco smoke, and that “made” someone fat?

            I rather think actually exercising on occasion, and stepping away from the Old Country Buffet once in a while would help people where I live.

            1. I’m not clear if the smoking-fat connection is pharmacological. People started putting food in their mouth instead of smoke. delicious, calorie free smoke.

            2. I think there is a pretty well documented correlation between smoking and weighing less, and quitting smoking and gaining weight.

              I’d say most people are probably better off being a little heavier than they would be smoking tobacco.

    2. Not surprised – the Lancet also publishes endless ‘Addiction is a disease’ garbage. In fact the leading cause of obesity at least in the US is agricultural subsidies (primarily for corn) that make junk food irresistible compared to healthier alternatives

      Wait. Isn’t another word for finding something irresistible “addiction”?

      1. Addiction is a myth. That constellation of symptoms we associate with addiction are very real. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.

      2. I can see it now – “Lancet Scientists Discover that Obesity is a Disease”

      3. What do you call it when you can’t help but turn every single goddamn online interaction toward your pet obsession?

          1. Not seeing it on tvtropes.org…

            *falls into wormhole from which there is no return*

          1. Is sex as good now as it was your first time?

            Even better, now that I know what I’m doing.

            Does a joke get funnier each time you repeat it?

            You know you’re on the Internet, right?

            1. What do you call it when you can’t help but turn every single goddamn online interaction toward your pet obsession?

                1. You always respond to my comments and even the comments about me. Could you be addicted to AddictionMyth? Time to admit you have a little problem? Or you can persist in denial:

              1. Humor me. Just what do you think my “pet obsession” is?

                Other than ‘booty’, of course.

                  1. I thought it was Asians, video games and music.

                    That’s not an obsession, it’s a lifestyle.

                1. Sex is the number 1 obsession. A close second is persecuting the people who point it out.

                  1. Asking you a question is persecution?

                    1. Asking you a question is persecution?

                      You forgot to use jazz hands first.

                    2. OK ok. Obesity is a disease. Are you happy now?

                    3. Actually, I was wondering how finding junk food “irresistible” was different from being addicted to junk food.

                  2. Showing us your complex is taken as an invitation to poke it.

          2. ” Is sex as good now as it was your first time?”

            Given that for most people the first time is the worst sex they will ever have, this is a dumb question.

      4. Wait. Isn’t another word for finding something irresistible “addiction”?

        You are right about that. And that is why all of the talk about “porn addiction” and “food addiction” and such isn’t that crazy if you assume there is such a thing as “addiction”. If people can be addicted to drugs, whey can’t they be addicted to other things?

        The answer I think is that there is no such thing as “addiction”. There is just people who for whatever reason have poor impulse control and self destructive natures. The drugs or porn or food or anything else is just how they express this.

        1. There is just people who for whatever reason have poor impulse control and self destructive natures. The drugs or porn or food or anything else is just how they express this.

          Which is what I think most people mean when they say “addiction”. Anyone who isn’t a complete tool knows that some people are prone to addiction and some aren’t. Those who are most prone to addiction are “just people who for whatever reason have poor impulse control and self destructive natures”.

          Addiction is certainly a real phenomenon. I disagree with those who insist is is a disease for a number of reasons, though. The first being that it isn’t something that just happens to you, it is something you actively and willfully participate in.

  26. This calls for a celebratory cake tonight!

    1. This calls for a celebratory cake tonight for breakfast!

      *devours package of pop-tarts*

  27. That is my least-favorite part of Monty Python. So thanks for the gif.

    I’ll just skip the article.

    And skip lunch.

    1. That’s letting the terrorists win.

    2. Have a wafer-thin mint, Eddie.

    3. You know, I’d probably agree with that. But it had to be done.

      I don’t know if any image would put me off my feed. Maybe something involving a lot of shit. Please don’t take this as a challenge.

      1. Jesus Christ, Zeb, do you know what kind of links we’re in for now?

        1. I might have thought better than that. I’m sure someone will read “please don’t take this as a challenge” as a challenge.

          1. Yeah. For instance, when Crusty saw that he got so excited he blacked out. When he comes to, you’re in for it.

  28. In the early 20th century, we needed socialism to bring about an end to material scarcity, so that man could evolve beyond material things, and into the new Soviet man.

    In the 21st century, we need socialism to bring an end to material abundance, so that man can labor for material things, and into the old Soviet man.

    Ironic.

  29. Seems like whatever the news is, it’s bad news. When the oil shale boom was going on in the Dakota’s, that was bad for the earth and the boom wouldn’t last. Now the bust is portrayed as bad for the small exploration companies. $4/gallon gas is bad, but so is $2/gal gas. I saw a feature recently on the evening news about a small town lamenting the closing of their WalMart. I thought WalMart was the devil. China is booming, they’re going to kick our ass. China’s bubble is going to burst and take us with them. EVERYTHING is portrayed as a negative.

    1. EVERYTHING is portrayed as a negative.

      You say that like its a bad thing.

  30. I was surprised at how relatively easy dropping all this weight has been. Though going from 375 to 170 is a hell of a lot easier than going from 170 to 155.

    I’m guessing getting the government involved probably wouldn’t have made the process any easier.

    1. What was your M.O.?

      1. Counted calories (around 2100) and a lot of exercise. Played a lot of basketball once I was small enough to (around 285 was when I started playing in actual games).

  31. I thought you said they were libertarian?

  32. We hope these findings any findings, anywhere, ever, create an imperative to shift responsibility from the individual to governments

  33. “poverty and with it, malnourishment] has been receding at the same time that economic freedom has been rising around the globe.”

    No matter how remote the place, there will always be junk food for sale.

  34. RE: Rejoice: Fat Fucks Now Outnumber Starving People on Earth!
    Predictably, historic triumph over poverty is seen as next big problem.

    This is every country on earth must revert to socialism.
    This way we can have state sponsored famines like North Korea.
    The best way to stay in shape is through starvation.
    You don’t see any fat fucks in North Korea, now do you?

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  36. Max . true that Gregory `s st0rry is impossible… on wednesday I bought Aston Martin DB5 since I been bringin in $9774 this last five weeks and more than ten/k this past-month . it’s by-far the best-job Ive ever had . I began this 4 months ago and practically straight away was bringin home minimum $81, per hour
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