Jackie's Lawyers Say Testifying Would Re-Traumatize Her, Censorship at Wesleyan, Contested Convention: P.M. Links

• 

  Screenshot via Youtube

  Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

• Wesleyan University's student-government is trying to censor the newspaper again.
• BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him.
• Contested convention looking more likely, which spells trouble for Donald Trump.
• Congratulations, people on the internet: you have survived April Fools' Day.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

I say we boycott Reason until all of our comments are promoted equally. WHO'S WITH ME?

[Juvenile Bluster]

What on earth are you whining about this time?

[Tonio]

Something that muggles can't see, apparently.

[Square = Circle]

They have vanished for me. They were here this morning, and then they went away.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They were only added to select articles. PM Links ain't a select article.

[Square = Circle]

No - even if I reload a page from this morning that had them this morning, they are gone.

Plus, if they are looking to make a few off the comments, wouldn't the Links be the prime spot?

I SMELL INCOMPETENCE!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Interesting. I still see them. At least on that one Hillary post which I am too lazy to link to at the moment.

[HeteroPatriarch]

http://reason.com/blog/2016/04.....nt_6026469

Can't link to the actual promoted comments, apparently.

[Square = Circle]

Weird - if I go to my browser history, the promoted comments aren't there, but if I click on your link, they are, but now I have two different versions of the page in my browser history.

Reason - WHAT ARE YOU GAMING AT?!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

PM Links ain't a select article.

USDA Grade: Utility (aka mostly pony).

[OneOut]

Wait.

I thought Bee Tagger was Fist ?

This place is nuts.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Are you with him, or are you not?

*cocks gun*

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Forget it...he's on a roll.

[Clich? Bandit]

I hate you...on multiple level and in multiple dimensions...like the Vegans from Contact.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Maybe if they ate meat once in a while their teleportation devices would work.

[Suicidy]

There were vegans in that film? I could swear everyone was shown eating meat.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Everybody that had anything to do with that movie sucked dick, and not in a good way.

[Mike Laursen]

Pretty sure Jodie Foster did not do that.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

Ha, ha.

[Hamster of Doom]

They keep using that word.

[Zeb]

You mean "Jackie"?

[Swiss Servator]

"Re"

[NotAnotherSkippy]

How does this gaze thing work...?

[Anomalous]

That implies she was traumatized already. How?

[PBR Streetgang]

Getting caught in a monumental lie probably IS fairly traumatizing.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

A monumental lie for ALL TO SEE.

[Tonio]

Yeah, this, seriously. And while nobody is suing her, yet, she set off a shitstorm that is going to make her a lot of enemies and render her effectively unemployable.

[OneOut]

" and render her effectively unemployable"

Are you kidding ?

Non profits galore and some government sleeper agents are probably asking for her resume as we speak.

Unemployable "in the private sector" would be more accurate.

[NotAnotherSkippy]

I'm thinking head of HHS. CMS?

[C. Anacreon]

I'm hearing that old song "Jackie Blue" in my head.

Ooooooh, oooh, Jackie blew,
Every guy she ever knew....

I think that is how it goes.

[Anomalous]

She needed the money!

[Ska]

I swear it's just ice cream!

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

The drummer is the lead singer!

[Trigger Warning]

Only Christian Vander could pull that off, and even he let Klaus Blausquiz sing a lot of the time.

[EMD]

The courtroom is a metaphorical glass table that never existed?

[Tonio]

Bang its motherfucking gavel.

[Don'tTreadOnMeChipper]

+1 cross examination

[kV]

God damn you

*looks for towel to clean up spilled/snotted soda

[Trigger Warning]

Jackie can eat a bag of dicks.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Isn't this how we got in this situation in the first place?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Turns out, no.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Isn't it she can 'suck a flock of cocks?'

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That sounds like a canadian thing.

[C. Anacreon]

From my understanding, it is a "pride" of cocks.
YMMV.

[jesse.in.mb]

Damn it. Now I have the intro song from the Lion King stuck in my head... Is there a Lion King XXX Parody? Because there might need to be.

[coloraDOOM]

...crusty?

[Los Doyers]

HM to to the white courtesy phone, HM to the white courtesy phone

[Timrekgrun]

Listen you white privileged bastards...it's a "murder" of cocks!

[Swiss Servator]

Not a "schlong"?

[Jerryskids]

The lawyers can argue all they want about "can't" - but there is a thing in the Constitution about the right to call witnesses and a long history of case law regarding compelling testimony and subpoenas and depositions and all that sort of thing that I suspect Mediaite might not be your go-to reference source for.

[Zeb]

Yeah, I think "doesn't want to" is the word they were looking for.

[Suicidy]

So......,would a subpoena, and an ensuing contempt charge resulting in her indefinite incarceration be more, or less traumatizing? I say we find out.

[Would Chip Her]

We should hold it down and make it testify.

[Swiss Servator]

"Grab its motherfuckin' testimony"

[Eman]

they can re-suck my genital situation

[grrizzly]

Reason is trying to monetize our comments and the Russians are behind it.

[Los Doyers]

They're also behind flu shots making people shop more during Christmastime.

[Swiss Servator]

Re: your newsletter

Dear Mr. Doyers,

I wish to subscribe. Could you tell me how?

Sincerely,
Swiss Servator

*adjusts foil homburg*

[OneOut]

"homburg"

Ha! Fucking Yankees

.

"tips the brim of his 10 gallon Stetson and feels culturally superior"

[pan fried wylie]

10 gallons, but how many rolls of foil is that?

[Notorious UGCC]

Until I saw my huge check I couldn't believe I could make money selling promoted comments on the Internet.

itdoesntseemtohaveworkedforreason.com

[Suicidy]

Did it involve using one weird trick?

[HeteroPatriarch]

No, that's how Sugarfree cut his electric bill in half!

[some guy]

You just don't like the fact that people will be able to buy their way to the top of the section.

[jarflax]

Equality be damned! People should be free to promote comments. Although it will make an even greater mess of the threading...

[Stormy Dragon]

I always knew you were commie, Fist!

[Fist of Etiquette]

That means it will only work if EVERYONE IS WITH ME.

[OneOut]

"I say we boycott Reason until all of our comments are promoted equally. WHO'S WITH ME?"

Equally ?

What are you, some kinda Bernie supporter ?

Fist is a COMMUNIST !?!?!

I don't believe it either but spread it around.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

Now that takes balls.

[Square = Circle]

Judge, I ask mercy from the court for the crime of murdering my parents, on account of my pitiable status as an orphan.

[Tonio]

[golf clap]

[Raven Nation]

+1 Menendez brothers

[Crusty Juggler]

Say what you will about the Menendez brothers, but those guys sure did know how to wear a sweater.

[BigT]

+2 Menendez

[BigT]

D'oh!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

"re-traumatize", perjure. Potato, potahto.

[some guy]

Suck it up "Jackie". This is the real world where that's never been an excuse ever.

[PBR Streetgang]

At this point, its not even testifying at trial, her attorney is saying she can't even sit for a deposition. Ridiculous.

[Ted S.]

She could just take the fifth, I guess.

[Good Chipper]

If she does, she'll be awful sore for the sixth.

[Swiss Servator]

*slow clap*

[OneOut]

no no Swiss.

That one gets a standing *narrowed gaze*.

[Hyperbolical]

I'll have the 1.5 liter.

[PBR Streetgang]

I don't think she can. She could take the 5th only to prevent implicating herself in a crime, but since she's never testified under oath that this happened, or filed a police report, she cannot be charged with perjury. I can't think of any other crimes she could be charged with. So, I would think, that if she is told to sit for a dep, gets there and refuses to testify, the Dean's attorney will seek to compel her to testify at which point I think she could be jailed for contempt.

[Tonio]

IANAL, but I believe filing a false police report is a crime. Also, libel and slander.

Ideally, she'll spend the next year or so testifying in various lawsuits and maybe enough will come out to allow someone to sue her or charge her. She brought this upon herself.

[PBR Streetgang]

Filing a false police report is a crime, but she never filed a police report about the "rape". I can't remember if she did file one about the alleged assault on The Corner though.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Also, libel and slander

Both are civil actions, not crimes. Only a few states have a criminal libel statute.

[Medical Physics Guy]

This will be improved after the TRUMPENING

[See Double You]

IANAL, but I believe filing a false police report is a crime.

In my state it is, and it may also be the basis for a libel suit.

[commodious spittoon]

IANAL

You know who else promised anal...

[PBR Streetgang]

Mattress Girl?

[Anomalous]

The princess in Kingsman?

[pan fried wylie]

The landlady in Kingpin?

[OneOut]

The sellers of Organic Spring Mix Salad Greens ?

[Drake]

She and Hillary should both probably steer clear of any testimony under oath and FBI interviews.

[Suicidy]

This reminds of of a girl who worked for me as an assistant. She once joked that if she ever needed an easy payday, she could trump up some phony sexual harassment claim. I joked back about how I would destroy her on the stand with all the juicy tidbits about her private life(she and her husband were swingers, and she confided all the details to me) on the day I made sure her family were there to be called as witnesses. The color ran out of her face as it suddenly occurred to her that I had thought just such a scenario through and knew how to deal with it.

[PapayaSF]

Heh.

[OneOut]

Hopefully you replaced her as soon as legally possible ?

"You just firing me because I'm Black. I'm gonna sue your ass"

"No, we hired you because you're Black. We are firing you because you're worthless".

[Stormy Dragon]

Ohio v. Reiner. Fifth amendment protects the innocent as well as the guilty.

[Tonio]

If her mental state is that fragile, she ought to be institutionalized. I presume her family has money since she has lawyers working for her on a case in which she is merely a witness, not a party, not under indictment.

[PBR Streetgang]

I think her lawyer works for some Pro Bono outfit. But being from Stafford I expect you're right that family probably does OK financially.

[OneOut]

There are probably non profits with a mission that are gladly representing her and happy to have the chance to do so hoping to get their mission on the record and into law.

[Mickey Rat]

Perhaps also "self-incriminate".

[Rich]

Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

And *I* say it would "cure" her.

[Hamster of Doom]

Hung, salted and placed in a dark quiet room for a long time?

As analogies go, one of the best today.

[Crusty Juggler]

Also a fine euphemism for masturbation. Also one of Jesse's quirky sexual proclivities.

[Clich? Bandit]

Bears ARE Furries!

[jesse.in.mb]

Bears ARE Furries!

What is this? I can't even!

[Fist of Etiquette]

BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him.

What kind of tech editor doesn't have a bot spitting out his stuff? (Phrasing?)

[some guy]

This is going to turn into gamergate all over again.

[C. Anacreon]

Is he related to Milo Minderbinder?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Is he related to Milo Minderbinder?

The proper pronoun is "them".

[Good Chipper]

Yeah, no.

Polous.

[Unicorn Abattoir]

Milo's interns respond...

http://www.breitbart.com/tech/.....-manpower/

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"I've launched the Yiannopoulos Privilege Grant to help young white men reach college, and we have a steady stream of contributions. I'm planning a livestream donation drive in the near future as well, because I want to double our initial plans and give out 100 scholarships in the first year.

By the end of the year the Grant will have two permanent members of staff and an advisory board.

My merchandising line, Swag by Milo, is a sensation, featuring such popular items as the bestselling "Feminism is Cancer" t-shirt, with my cut of the proceeds going to the aforementioned Grant. I also like the fact that I have straight 50-year-old dudes in Arizona wandering around in BLACK COCKS MATTER shirts."

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"Three designers and one business manager contribute to the hilariously brilliant product line-up, look after customers and run the store's social media.

I have two books coming out this year, and obviously I'll need some help researching and proofreading.

My "Dangerous Faggot" speaking tour has been one of the most significant things to happen to American education in decades. I entertain huge crowds, the most delightfully insane protestors, and produce videos watched by hundreds of thousands.""

He really is the best troll in the country.

[Crusty Juggler]

I was better off when I didn't know any of that. Millennial journalism is absolutely retarded, and I fear that it will be dominant in the near future.

I am going to end up wearing a hooded sweatshirt while living in a shack in the Montana.

[Crusty Juggler]

"The Montana?" Yes, the Montana.

[This Machine]

Is that kind of like how Russians call Ukraine, "the Ukraine," much to the chagrin of ethnic Ukrainians?

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

How do you say that in Russian?

[Swiss Servator]

"The near abroad"

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Don't you mean "near abroad"?

[This Machine]

How do you say that in Russian?

One of the ways an early learner might hear the difference is in the prepositional case; that is, a native Ukranian, when talking about something happening in Ukraine, will use the preposition for "in," where a Russian will use the preposition for "on," as though the country was really just a part of the Russian frontier.

[grrizzly]

The grammar rules for talking about your own country and its closest neighbors are routinely different from the propositions/articles that apply to the countries far away. Yes, the ?/?? distinction exists in Russian, but that's how you speak Russian correctly. It's retarded to take offense at this.

[Peachy rex]

Maybe you're a 'Frasier' fan?

[NYC2AZ]

"I will now simply be, Niles Crane, The Montana."

[HeteroPatriarch]

Hey, I used to work for the company that manages that place, and I object to the term "shack."

http://www.liveatthemontana.com/

[Migrant Log Chipper]

stay the fuck out of Montana, bro

[R C Dean]

Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax,

Stop it. Stop pretending she should be kept anonymous by using "Jackie". Use her full name. You know what it is. She's not a victim, and continuing to pretend she should be anonymous is also pretending that she is a victim.

As always, the more you buy into the false premises of proggies and SJWs, the more you validate what they do. You probably don't want that. So. Just. Stop. It.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Agency is trauma-inducing. Plus, I wouldn't know her by anything but that at this point. She's kind of like Cher.

[some guy]

What's her full name? I didn't realize they ever released it.

[Tonio]

It has been mentioned in the comments numerous times. Probably googlable.

[cgr2727]

Voldemort

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Try Googling for "rolling stone jackie real name".

[DenverJ]

Adolf... Coors?

[pan fried wylie]

Kayser Soze.

[Tonio]

Meh. I agree with your sentiment, but can't fault reason for taking that position at this point. Let the courts determine that she was lying through her teeth, then start publishing her name.

[Tonio]

Also, additional negative publicity would provide her with even more fodder for her claims of trauma. There will be plenty of time in the future during which she can be raked over the coals in the press. It is in our long-term best interests to leave her alone until she's completed testifying. The transcripts will be the reward.

[Guestus III]

At this point isn't using "Jackie" just for recognition purposes, rather than alleged victim protection? As in, if the headline said "lawyer for Sally Smith..." it would be like, "who the fuck was that?" Whereas using Jackie, its like, "oh yeah, that crazy bitch!"

[grrizzly]

Right, not the Mattress Girl but the other one.

[Notorious UGCC]

"Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her."

Wow, can normal people get out of traumatic depositions, too?

[Rich]

I'm not sure. Is "Hillary" considered normal?

[Ted S.]

Is "Hillary" human?

[Suicidy]

No.

[Trigger Warning]

This site runs like utter fucking ass on mobile. Still.

[Just say Nikki]

It runs okay for me but when I'm scrolling through comments quickly I frequently accidentally end up hitting the floating arrow to go to the previous post.

[Trigger Warning]

I have an S6 and the main issue is slow loading over fast connections, but lately the page has been jumping when I touch the screen. It shifts in a random direction, andI end up hitting a link I wasn't aiming for.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

That causes me to log out all the fucking time. I used desktop mode while looking at reason, and the "new" button is right below the logout button

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I hate that. Listen to the people, Reason, and get rid of that feature.

[Crusty Juggler]

I prescient that my promoted content features Jonathan Taylor Thomas twice. It's like they know about my JTT obsession.

[jesse.in.mb]

Huh, so he apparently looks like a poor man's young Billy Crystal now.

I'm not sure I'd have Tool Time with him at this point.

[Crusty Juggler]

Billy Crystal wishes he was ever that dreamy.

[Trigger Warning]

Great name for a show, or greatest name for a show?

[Suicidy]

Thank God I still have those old issues of 'Toger Beat' amd 'Seventeen' where he didn't look like this.

[jesse.in.mb]

Todger Beat is a great masturbation euphemism.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Contested convention looking more likely, which spells trouble for Donald Trump.

When the establishment fires him, he can take his Trumpbots and go home.

[jesse.in.mb]

Congratulations, people on the internet: you have survived April Fools' Day.

That's what you want us to think and then *wham* nuclear strike from Russia kills us all...

APRIL FOOLS, you *didn't* survive.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Soave has a gaggle of interns writing his stories, hence all the millennial-speak. He's actually older than Gillespie.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Russians have access to resistant-strain glanders! That's not cool.

[bacon-magic]

"Jackie" needs to go rape herself.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Argo rape yourself.

[Libertarian]

Not quite sure that qualifies as a euphemism.

[bacon-magic]

She might have rape fantasies spawned from #readingtheBern

[Rich]

VIDEO: WH Censors French President Saying 'ISLAMIST Terrorism'

WTF?

[Pan Zagloba]

Hollande needs to learn language laws cut both ways!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Ugly stuff.

[commodious spittoon]

I used to think the guy was a self-important, preening boob, but stunts like this, especially after his visit to Cuba, leads me to believe he may actually be evil.

[OneOut]

But he flashed the PEACE sign.

That means both that he is KOOL and he wants PIECE.

The guy is obviously trolling the entire world. His ego cannot prevent this. He must let the world know that his entire run has just been one long big time troll.

He got over on everyone, supporters and enemies, and the narcissism can't be held back any longer.

It's going to get much worse before he leaves office.

He has made a mockery of the office and is proud of it.

AND, you ain't seen nothing yet.

You ain't seen nothin' yet
B-b-b-baby, you just ain't seen n-n-nothin' yet
Here's something that you never gonna forget
B-b-b-baby, you just ain't seen n-n-nothin' yet

[Pan Zagloba]

BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him.

He should use freshly mined orphans instead. We open new veins every week!

[rts]

Euphemisms, etc.

[EMD]

Sounds like they are jealous.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Satan's Pilgrims cover of The Godfather. Fun.

http://bit.ly/1UZ9rO5

[Jerryskids]

I clicked that link expecting "It's A Man's World".

[Trigger Warning]

So this crazy Jackie person is going to be told to shut the fuck up and get on the stand, right?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Contested convention looking more likely, which spells trouble for Donald Trump.

This is an April Fool's joke, isn't it?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Robby shaved his hair off for Anna Merlan.

APRIL FOOLS!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

One of them is a fool all 12 months of the year.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

LOL

Despite efforts that UNC-Chapel Hill College Republicans say they've made to hold respectful discussions with left-wing protesters on campus, there's little indication that discourse is likely to become more civil.

On Wednesday, a combative talk about racial issues from conservative author and commentator Ben Shapiro was met with protest by members of the university's Black Lives Matter movement, all of whom staged a silent walkout a few minutes into Shapiro's presentation.

"[The] College Republicans [group] is complicit in this system of racism, militarism, and materialism that continues to oppress us," Lackey said. "Frank Pray, the [chairman] of the College Republicans, can be quoted saying that he aligns himself with the politics of Ben Shapiro. If Frank Pray does indeed agree with the politics of Ben Shapiro, then he too is complicit in oppression."

[sarcasmic]

That damned materialistic oppression! It's got to stop! It's not fair that the corporations give jobs, goods, and services to voluntary takers! I mean, they like make profits and stuff, and that's evil! They need to share the wealth! And we know they haven't paid their fair share because they're rich! How can they be rich and pay their fair share at the same time! They need to pay and pay until they can't supply jobs, goods, and services to anyone anymore! Then we will be free from their corporate oppression!

[Juvenile Bluster]

Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

[some guy]

materialism

Yes, having access to all this useful stuff is so oppressive.

[Square = Circle]

I always love people who complain about economic repression and then condemn "materialism."

"It's bad of you materialistic people to put so much stock in having *things*. Now hand some of them over!"

[See Double You]

Like those who blame Cuba's economic malaise on the U.S. embargo while simultaneously extolling the virtues a closed economy?

[See Double You]

-1 preposition

[Jerryskids]

Staging a silent walkout? Damn, there goes their prog-cred.

[tarran]

Lucy's back!!!!!!!!!

Donald Trump Is the Nightmare Version of a Political Outsider - Trump Is Not an Alternative to Politics as Usual: He Is Its Purest Form

[bacon-magic]

I thought you weren't supposed to talk about Lucy? Come on people, we need a rule book or something.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Pretty damned good article.

[Clich? Bandit]

She was always my favorite.

[Tonio]

She was always everyone's favorite.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Not true. She wasn't my favorite but I felt her a good addition to the team. I'll just leave it at that.

[Crusty Juggler]

I think you should continue.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[Clich? Bandit]

She was MY FAVORITE FIRST...AND I CAN PROVE IT!

[HeteroPatriarch]

She's in the top ten.

[HeteroPatriarch]

But 90% of us would forget about her the day Reason hired Lauren Southern.

[DenverJ]

Would wood

[HeteroPatriarch]

But 90% of us would forget about her the day Reason hired Lauren Southern.

[Pan Zagloba]

You'll see return of Weigel first! Southern is...ugh... a Canadian. Reason has (some) standards!

[Clich? Bandit]

And it really is a damn good article.

Lucy don't mince.

[Heroic Mulatto]

And to think, Reason traded Lucy for Soave.

SMDH

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

They didn't want to add more testosterone to the Reason offices.

[commodious spittoon]

Ouch.

[Hamster of Doom]

Ice it down, he'll barely notice the swelling by now.

[Square = Circle]

"Trump is merely politics distilled down to the size of one angry rich guy"

I first read this as "Trump is merely politics distilled down to the size of one angry inch"

[gaoxiaen]

You shouldn't pick on someone just because they have small hands.

[Notorious UGCC]

For Gilmour: Virginia Postrel discusses her book The Power of Glamour with Glamour magazine.

[Ted S.]

Glamour magazine is, of course, a masturbation reference.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him.

WHO?!!

[Crusty Juggler]

He is Haven Monahan.

[PBR Streetgang]

I LOL'd

[Crusty Juggler]

Haven Monahan would.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Haven an actual name parents give real lads these days?

[Fist of Etiquette]

And by these days I mean 18 years ago when the mythical rapist would have been born.

[jesse.in.mb]

I have a cousin named Haven, but she's still in the single-digits age-wise.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him."

The goings-on of a professional troll are so important we had to be told about this in *both* the AM and PM links.

[Just say Nikki]

He's just that fabulous.

[Jerry on the rocks]

I'm starting to think Rico and Milo have the same coiffeur.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Or the same interns writing content for them.

[Thisisalongname]

"BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him."

Milo has several people who do all the work (most unpaid) while he reaps the rewards? Jonah Peretti is just mad Milo copied his work model.

[This Machine]

He's like a real-life Vincent Adultman.

[Libertarian]

With his fake dispatch from China, P.J. O'Rourke is still my idol when it comes to journalism.

[commodious spittoon]

Would be hilarious if this is an April 1st prank Milo is pulling so that tomorrow he can reveal it and laugh at all the chumps who reported it as gospel.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Oh God, I hope this is true so badly.

[The Hyperbole]

'cept I think it broke Thursday night. Not fair jumping the gun for April Fools.

[OldMexican with sails unfurled]

Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

I can't believe the courts can't simply take her hysterical ramblings and delusions as the written truth!

Wesleyan University's student-government is trying to censor the newspaper again.

Not that anybody will notice. Who reads a university newspaper, anyway?

BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him.

Is one supposed to feel sorry for the interns or admiration for the entrepreneurial spirit of Milo Yiannopoulos? The piece won't say!

Contested convention looking more likely, which spells trouble for Donald Trump.

And then there's this: Congratulations, people on the internet: you have survived April Fools' Day.
Yay! I'm a survivor!

Splat! / Gets run over by a bus.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bodycam vid shows shooting first and asking questions later doesn't always work out.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

So this is what it takes to offer first aid to a shooting victim.

[commodious spittoon]

"Things were going well"

Except, you know, this being a drug sting and the officers involved wanting to put a man into a cage for it.

[Zeb]

Evil actions can go well too.

[Swiss Servator]

"Oft evil will evil mar"

[jarflax]

Hands Swiss a "shall"

[Swiss Servator]

IDang it! So much for pulling old quotes out correctly.

*resumes drinking*

[Fist of Etiquette]

Actually, it appears one of them at least wanted to put a man in the ground for it.

[commodious spittoon]

If I had to guess, the deputy pulled out his gun to make the arrest. His supervisor saw the gun and unloaded his bowels into his trouser and then his gun into his deputy.

[Fist of Etiquette]

If I had to guess, I'd say someone was sleeping with someone else's wife.

[commodious spittoon]

I know you've got that thing about DiCaprio, but not every cop drama is The Departed.

[Loki]

Cop who shot fellow officer: I didn't know it was you

"I thought you were just some random peasant!"

[commodious spittoon]

I think there are cops who want to murder people. The one fired and charged in Mesa wanted to murder a man. The couple here in Albuquerque who opened fire on the homeless camper wanted to kill a man--they admitted as much on dash cam prior to the engagement.

I don't think this cop wanted to kill anyone in any premeditated sense. He arrived at the scene seemingly without realizing his deputy was making the bust undercover. I suspect that he saw the gun, shit his pants, and panic fired. That really doesn't absolve him in any way, though: these are people we expect to cleave to a higher standard than your average citizen in whether and when they fire a weapon. These are supposed to be trained professionals. Guns are lawful instruments to possess and carry for most people in most places: simply seeing one should not be cause to attempt to kill its owner. So while I think he made a terrible mistake, it's not one a cop should be forgiven for making.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The $10,000-plus that the Argus hasn't yet used from student funds "can make an incredible difference to a variety of student groups, most of which do not have the Argus' revenue or fundraising capabilities," the SBC said.

I wonder if the student government had certain groups lined up for the paper's money, perhaps as an additional slap.

[Hamster of Doom]

I know no one actually reads the links, but the April Fool's link was worthwhile for the Google bit alone.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

You talking about the Mic Drop or the VR product?

[commodious spittoon]

I probably shouldn't laugh, but the thought of sending condolences for the death of a loved one and inadvertently attaching the mic drop gif is pretty funny.

[Hamster of Doom]

Mic Drop. The rest were kind of meh. The internet never closes to a good trolling. Most efforts paled in comparison to, say, #askJPM.

[GILMORE?]

I thought the Army claiming to be able to teleport people was pretty sporting

[Raven Nation]

Already covered?

CIA leaves explosives on school bus for two days.

[Loki]

Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her.

I'm sure trying to remember her previous lies and keep her story straight probably would be quite stressful.

[GILMORE?]

North Korea = Has a Semi

North Korea will pursue its nuclear and ballistic missile program in defiance of the United States and its allies, a top Pyongyang envoy said on Friday, adding that a state of "semi-war" now existed on the divided Korean peninsula.

[See Double You]

But whose semi-war is bigger?

[commodious spittoon]

North Korea is neither a grower nor a shower.

[Loki]

These masturbation euphemisms...

[Swiss Servator]

ARE OMNIPRESENT!

[GILMORE?]

US = Still Bombing Somalia

The strike came weeks after the United States targeted an al Shabaab training camp in Somalia in an air strike that the Pentagon says killed more than 150 fighters.

That operation, using both manned aircraft and unmanned MQ-9 Reaper drones, targeted al Shabaab's "Raso" training camp, a facility about 120 miles (190 km) north of the capital Mogadishu.

[GILMORE?]

"Definitely a Security Issue"

[GILMORE?]

CIA = Accidentally Leaves Explosives on School Bus

[Raven Nation]

*Ahem*

[GILMORE?]

mah bad.

I never get to these things until after 5pm anyway.

[Notorious UGCC]

""The CIA assured Loudoun officials the training material used in this exercise is stable and posed no danger to students on board the bus," it said in a statement."

"Unless of course the bus slows down below 50 mph."

[See Double You]

"April Fool's, kids! See, we spooks have a sense of humor."

[GILMORE?]

6yr-Old Poisoning Plot Uncovered

[SusanM]

So...finger guns - end of the world. An actual plan to poison a classmate? "Goshdarnit, those crazy kids!"

[commodious spittoon]

Guns are passe. Poisoning is in. It's the GoT era.

[GILMORE?]

This is How the Terrorists Win

[Notorious UGCC]

"George Washington University students Sierra Humes (front) and Alice Roncey sunbathe beside the Washington Monument on an unseasonably warm day in Washington March 9, 2016."

"You see, boss, this photo is relevant to the story because the Washington Monument is in the background."

"Why, so it is, now that you mention it."

[buybuydandavis]

#DreadPirateMilo

[GILMORE?]

Hillary = Promises Billions In Crony-Money If Elected
(because voters have no idea who controls spending anyway)

Surely that will 'revitalize' manufacturing in depressed areas in ways tax-cuts do not.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

That Buzzfeed article is amazingly full of shit. At one point they quote someone as saying that 'Milo Yiannopolous does not exist. He is a collective consciousness of various different people who come and go.'

I'm amazed Buzzfeed let itself get trolled this badly because I guarantee you that's just someone fucking with them.

[GILMORE?]

I'm amazed Buzzfeed let itself get trolled this badly

trolled? have you seen what they *normally* publish? this is like the Pentagon Papers-level professionalism from them.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Just tell me the article was in listicle format, mostly submitted by anonymous posters, and I'll be happy knowing everything at Buzzfeed is normal.

[Just say Nikki]

You guys seem pretty unfamiliar with Buzzfeed.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Today's front page:

This Pig Totally Stole the Show in his Owners Engagement Photos.
9 Girl Squads That Will Give You #GOALS
This is how much the most famous DJs are worth.
Vote In The '90s March Madness Final Four
Britney. Leo. Friends. Beanie Babies. Who you got?
What Little Things Do You Do To Feel Confident AF?
Hamburger Helper Dropped A Mixtape For April Fool's And It's Actually Lit
You Have To See This Weird Cake That Looks Like A Blob Of Water
Bill Murray Singing "The Bare Necessities" Will Instantly Brighten Your Day
13 Ways You Depend On Bees Every Single Day
41 Texas Facts That Will Blow Your Mind (Picture of cow with WTF over its ass)
Can You Make It To The End Of This Basic Math Quiz?
Here's How The Kylie Lip Kit Actually Holds Up After One Day
We Tried To Wear False Eyelashes And It Was A Nightmare
Tom Hiddleston Reported The Local Weather As Loki And It Was Perfect

I understand that they have a Buzzfeed News section, but everything else just kills the mood, especially when content is categorized by LOL/WIN/OMG/WTF/FAIL/CUTE

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"We Tried To Wear False Eyelashes And It Was A Nightmare"

Like, lol, I can literally see how that would be an issue

"This is how much the most famous DJs are worth."

Truly this speaks to me and my generation

[Crusty Juggler]

We have to get started on Hamster's Yolocaust idea.

[jesse.in.mb]

What's worse the newsification of Buzzfeed or the Buzzfeedification of the news...or Drudge for that matter?

[HeteroPatriarch]

9 Girl Squads That Will Give You #GOALS

These masturbation euphemisms are getting kind of obtuse.

[Pan Zagloba]

You dribble the ball into net...

Do I really have to draw you a a picture?!

[Ken Shultz]

How much does a subscription to BuzzFeed cost, and after I subscribe, how long will it take before I receive my first issue?

[GILMORE?]

Yeah guys, i mean they do serious stuff too i mean come on

[commodious spittoon]

It's certainly possible that his online presence is farmed out to lackeys and underlings, but that's not exactly unusual for celebrities. Maybe unusual for Milo, but then again, he's waging a one-man war on the left. But it's not like his troll campaign isn't rooted in the man's authentic persona. He goes on television shows and debates feminists and puts them in the ground. He spends hours streaming chats with fellow travelers. If he's taking on interns to run a sprawling troll network to advance his ideology, that's a brilliant and innovative move.

[Just say Nikki]

lol "celebrities"

[commodious spittoon]

Ghostwritten Facebook and Twitter accounts? I thought that was a thing.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

This is the "no noticeable effect" from the minimum wage:

The first restaurant to backtrack on a no-tipping policy blames lack of business due to construction in South Lake Union.

Seattle restaurant Mollusk has removed its 20 percent service charge and returned to the practice of accepting tips, according to chef/owner Travis Kukull. The restaurant opened in October in a construction-beset pocket of South Lake Union, home of Amazon and, soon, Google, with the service charge in place from the beginning. But, Kukull says, "We just are not busy enough yet for it to make sense."

Kukull ? whose former restaurant Gastropod won critical acclaim in Sodo ? says "a couple" front-of-the-house staff members left after being unhappy with the policy. Mollusk's service charge was split equally between front-of-the-house and kitchen employees, bringing the latter up to $15 to $18 an hour. But, Kukull says, servers, bartenders and hosts were making significantly less than they had in their previous jobs.

Did you read that correctly? Servers, bartenders and hosts making significantly less than they had in previous jobs.

While the article doesn't explicitly say, those previous jobs were ALMOST CERTAINLY before the minimum wage hike.

The Seattle Times continues to print articles about how the minimum wage hasn't affected anything, right along side navel-gazers about why so many restaurants and small businesses are closing.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

And while conservative think tanks forecast economic doom for Seattle, then made claims and produced numbers purporting to back it up, economists are waiting for meaningful statistics

Yeah, only those conservative think tanks. No regular people believe for an instant that anyone will lose a job because of an overnight 47% increase in labor costs.

Sorry, Times, the effects of lost jobs don't always result in a closure with a big sign that says "can't afford livable wages". Many of those lost jobs come from second order effects, such as reduced business because people don't want to pay $57 for an entree, seek out cheaper fare, start eating at home etc.

[commodious spittoon]

If they can't afford a $57 entree, maybe they shouldn't eat out.

[OneOut]

"If they can't afford a $57 entree, maybe they shouldn't eat out."

Hilliary Clinton isn't responsible if those businesses are under capitalized !

'You should already know that !!??!!??"I can't worry about every under capitalized business"
Hillary Clinton, testifying before congress on the effects of Nationalized Health Care'

[paranoid android]

Silly Paul. "Everyone knows" that this will be a free lunch for Seattle because "people will have more money to spend", and this will not simply result in a commensurate rise in prices because "that's not how it works"; and if any businesses would be adversely affected (which they won't be!) it's because they "don't deserve to be in business".

Did I hit all of the talking points right?

[Hamster of Doom]

We've gone from a nation which understood inherently that there was no such thing as a free lunch, to a nation convinced the consumption of free lunches is revenue-generating activity.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

http://www.seattletimes.com/li.....o-tipping/

[HeteroPatriarch]

A city doesn't need 30 different restaurants when children are hungry in this country!

[GILMORE?]

OJ Dindooit, Redux

I like how they use the same "SWEET!!WE WON" photo from 25 years ago

[GILMORE?]

Mongolian F1 Team Say Need More Funding, Car, Asphalt

[HeteroPatriarch]

FUCKING MONGORIANS!

[Trigger Warning]

GET RID OF THE SWIPE FEATURE. THE PAGE LAYOUT MAKES IT EXTRA FUCKING ANNOYING. HR IS TOO BIG FOR A SWIPE-TO-ARTICLE FEATURE TO WORK.

Swear to Dog, your web design team need some extra rations or something. Or cocaine. Something.

[GILMORE?]

Historic Cleveland Looking Forward to GOP Convention

[Trigger Warning]

That link is DOA, G.

[GILMORE?]

and it would have worked too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids

[Notorious UGCC]

The owner of the former Jeffrey Dahmer house seems like a barrel of laughs:

""If you get past that little problem, you'll have a wonderful place to live," said homeowner Chris Butler, a founding member of the 1980s new wave band The Waitresses.

"Butler told the Akron Beacon Journal he put up the listing on a whim to "suck some Republican gelt from those people," using the Yiddish word for money."

This Butler guy better be Jewish to tell a joke like that.

[C. Anacreon]

"Merry Christmas Merry Christmas well I guess I'll skip this one this year."

/only well-known song by homeowner's former band, The Waitresses (Xmas Rapping)

[Notorious UGCC]

It's Christmas Wrapping, you culturally-appropriating reverse racist!

[Trigger Hippie]

You clearly don't know what boys like.

[GILMORE?]

U. Maryland = Chocolate-Milk Study Retracted

[PapayaSF]

For those who don't know, Jackie Coakley blimped out and got married (in that order).

[commodious spittoon]

Well, when you go into hiding, gaining weight is a good disguise.

[C. Anacreon]

She often will eat a motherfucking turkey leg.

[Crusty Juggler]

After all the trauma that she's endured I'm glad she has had the strength to move on with her life.

[John]

What kind of a nut marries a woman known to make false rape accusations? Does her husband also own cobras as pets?

[commodious spittoon]

A real beta for sure. Probably believes her story. Probably masturbates to it in private. A real cuck.

[John]

When she some day accuses him of rape, he will probably confess to it because he figures as a man he deserves it even though he hasn't had sex with her in years.

[commodious spittoon]

Lascivious thoughts, like the male gaze, are rape in and of themselves.

[John]

She actually has a very pretty face. If she would mix in a salad and a gym membership, she wouldn't be half bad, if you could get past the crazy.

[commodious spittoon]

Sounds like something a rapist would say.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

Salad and a gym membership might not help.

[Swiss Servator]

"Item 1 - defense counsel"

[jarflax]

Most merciful God, Oppressed Minority
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.

Coming soon to a legal code near you. As soon as enough of the SJW special snowflakes get into positions of influence.

[commodious spittoon]

(In fairness to cobra owners, I knew a woman whose boyfriend had a collection of venomous and nonvenomous snakes. He took an unruly bullsnake off me that I had gotten from a woman whose kid had failed to socialize it at all. Good guy.)

[sarcasmic]

I find herpers to be a pretty cool bunch.

[commodious spittoon]

That's why they enjoy basking in the attention.

[sarcasmic]

I see what you did there.

[Swiss Servator]

*waves for Mr. Lizard to come over and hiss at you*

[HeteroPatriarch]

Who?

[HeteroPatriarch]

Oh, NM. Her name is actually Jackie? That's the worst protective pseudonym ever.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

It's actually Jacqueline? Jackie is her nickname.

"Sabrina" is creative with her pseudonyms.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Can't tell if this is a troll but hope it's not.

"Stop Trump at Emory
?@NoTrumpAtEmory
Trigger warning: a hashtag #thechalkening is trending on Twitter in the ATL area. Emory administration must address this or it will not stop"

"Stop Trump at Emory ?@NoTrumpAtEmory 47m47 minutes ago
This week has seen a major pushback by racist xenophobic #trump supporters against POC. The mocking of our pain shows theyre cruelty"

"Stop Trump at Emory ?@NoTrumpAtEmory Mar 26
Rumack: "Emory needs to be a safe place and wherever #trump supporters are that can never exist" this line drew a lot of applause"

[GILMORE?]

Pretty sure that's a parody account. The misspelling is too-intentional. Also, they claimm seeing bumperstickers is traumatic

e.g.

Stop Trump at Emory ?@NoTrumpAtEmory 2h2 hours ago

We are encouraging our allies and other POC to use #notrumponmycampus hashtag to counteract #thechalkening. STAND UP! BE HERD!

[Swiss Servator]

"BE HERD!"

Very nice!

[ant1sthenes]

Be herd? If it isn't a parody, then John must have gone over to their side.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Keep this person away from John, I'm afraid they'll turn into pure energy if they touch.

[0x90]

The "mocking of our pain shows theyre cruelty" one is pretty good.

[Rasilio]

"Lawyers for "Jackie," the woman at the center of the Rolling Stone / UVA gang rape hoax, say their client can't testify at Nicole Eramo's libel trial because it would "re-traumatize" her."

Ok, here is what I don't get.

I understand they probably can't prosecute "Jackie" for anything but her lawyers do clearly seem to be lying to the court here. She clearly was not the victim of any rape (at least not even tangentially related to this case) and therefore to hold her out as a victim is in essence perjury. How does the judge in that case not look at all the facts of the case and tell those lawyers to get her on the stand immediately or he would be charging them with lying to the court?

[Notorious UGCC]

Maybe they mean the trauma of being a mentally-ill student exposed in the media as such?

[paranoid android]

therefore to hold her out as a victim is in essence perjury

Well, perjury is lying under oath, which is not what is happening here, so that's irrelevant. How do you think the law works? If a lawyer is representing a man who is on trial for murder, and the defense asserts that the defendant did not commit the crime, but the guy gets convicted anyway, are you saying the lawyer should also go to jail, because obviously he was lying if the court found him guilty?

[John]

Once the court serves her with service, which they apparently have, she can't then refuse to testify. Rolling Stone as a right to a fair trial and to put on a defense. They can't do that if she refuses to testify. If she refuses to testify, the court can hold her in contempt. And that is a crime. And of course if she lies under oath, that is a crime.

[Notorious UGCC]

Maybe she'll take the Fifth?

("No, dear, not *a* fifth.")

[jarflax]

Once the court serves her with service, which they apparently have, she can't then refuse to testify. Rolling Stone as a right to a fair trial and to put on a defense. They can't do that if she refuses to testify. If she refuses to testify, the court can hold her in contempt. And that is a crime. And of course if she lies under oath, that is a crime.

She can refuse to answer particular questions, and if she has a substantial, real, basis for her fear that her testimony could incriminate her, her refusal will stand. This would mean being able to identify an actual crime she could be charged with, which may be insurmountable here as she did not to my knowledge file a police report or make statements under oath that could be the basis for a perjury charge.

[John]

exactly. Lying to Rolling Stone is not a crime and thus she can't plead the fifth and refuse to say if she did.

[Notorious UGCC]

Ooh, check this out:

"Code of Virginia

"? 18.2-209. False publications.

"Any person who knowingly and willfully states, delivers or transmits by any means whatever to any publisher, or employee of a publisher, of any newspaper, magazine, or other publication...any false and untrue statement, knowing the same to be false or untrue, concerning any person or corporation, with intent that the same shall be published, broadcast or otherwise disseminated, shall be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor."

[jarflax]

Interesting. That seemingly would give her grounds to invoke her 5A right against self incrimination.

[commodious spittoon]

So... would that exonerate RS? If she admits to inventing the story, does that favor their defense?

[Notorious UGCC]

Don't quote me, but I don't think laws like this were meant to let publishers off the hook, but to go after the writers and sources of false stories.

[commodious spittoon]

Why call on her, then? Are they hoping she sticks to the story and gives RS an out, or that she admits to the hoax and takes the blame off her shoulders?

[commodious spittoon]

Er, their shoulders.

[Notorious UGCC]

Of course, I suppose their last chance at a defense is to say that Jackie was a clever trickster who fooled them despite their genius-level intelligence and careful double-checking.

[paranoid android]

Why call on her, then? Are they hoping she sticks to the story and gives RS an out, or that she admits to the hoax and takes the blame off her shoulders?

I believe it's the plaintiff's side, i.e. Eramo, who called her, not RS.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm going off John's comment. I figured the defense called on her. Hell, why would the plaintiffs want Jackie around? They have pretty ample evidence that she made everything up and that the defendants did little to investigate her story.

[paranoid android]

Hell, why would the plaintiffs want Jackie around? They have pretty ample evidence that she made everything up and that the defendants did little to investigate her story.

IANAL and all that, but my understanding is that the the plaintiff's objective here is to prove that RS acted with a reckless disregard for the truth when they published the story. By calling Jackie, they can ask her what reason, if any, she might have given Erdely to believe her. The more she contradicts herself and backpedals on her claims, the more it looks like RS wasn't acting in good faith (I would think).

[HeteroPatriarch]

To be fair, she appears to have been raped in the mouth by a whole bunch of truffles.

[Swiss Servator]

I don't think I should have laughed so much at that....but I did.

*hangs head in shame*

[RBS]

Honestly, they probably know she will be a terrible witness and just do not want to put her on the stand.

[John]

BuzzFeed News claims Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos employs dozens of interns who write most of his articles for him.

I really like him and don't care if this is true. I do, however, wonder just who he hires for interns. Yiannopoulos is an entertaining and brave writer, but he is not on the whole a very good writer. You would think that a team of dozens could produce better prose.

[commodious spittoon]

He's no Cooke. He's not even a Delingpole.

[John]

His prose is a mess. He is, however, a smart guy who has some very good ideas. He is just the kind of person who could benefit from a good editor or ghost writer. Sadly, judging from his prose, he seems to have hired his interns based on their ability to give blowjobs rather than their ability to write.

[Notorious UGCC]

"I can't type, I can't file, I can't even answer the phone!"

[Notorious UGCC]

for you nostalgia buffs

[Notorious UGCC]

(note to the interns' lawyers - I don't actually believe John's little joke, and I don't even *own* a woodchipper)

[jarflax]

You can rent one

[John]

$14,000 a year got you a mistress. That is less than $1500 a month. The 70s were a glorious age in some ways.

[Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!]

14K in 1975 is almost 62K now.

[commodious spittoon]

Yeah, well, I can't drive schfifty-five.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Not if those dozens are all 23 year old internet trolls, which is basically who Milo associates with.

He's funny, but he's a troll and attracts other trolls. I like that he pisses off self-serious people who need to be pissed off, but it's not surprising that someone with his interests wouldn't wind up with the Second Coming of Graham Greene as an intern.

[commodious spittoon]

I like that he's open about who he is and what he's doing, and doesn't pretend to accomplish anything other than trolling. And then he uses that fact to wheedle others of a similar bent about their limited contributions to humanity.

[John]

He is one of the many writers who has been let down by the death of standards and education. If he had been born 30 years earlier, he would have had English teachers and later editors who mercilessly taught him how to write. The special snowflake generation doesn't get that. They don't get it in school and then are turned lose on the internet where the ability to troll and get attention is what gets you ahead. So people like Milo who are smart enough to be decent writers ideas get lost in a maelstrom of poor thinking and bad prose. Milo shows what happens to the smart ones. The dumb ones turn into Matt Yglesias.

[Trigger Warning]

Who is this guy?

[commodious spittoon]

That's John. I gather he's been around for awhile.

[Swiss Servator]

*stands to begin thunderous and prolonged ovation*

[Mr Drew]

*joins Swiss*

[Ken Shultz]

I think he meant, "Who is this Milo"?

[commodious spittoon]

YOU LET ME ENJOY THIS

[Swiss Servator]

WAY TO STEP ON THE JOKE, KEN!

[Trigger Warning]

I admit, I lol'd.

[jarflax]

So people like Milo who are smart enough to be decent writers ideas get lost in a maelstrom of poor thinking and bad prose.

John I actually like a lot of what you say here on Reason, and am sympathetic even when I disagree. I also like Milo and agree with your assessment of his writing, both as to its effectiveness and its lack of style. But, writing a completely incoherent sentence like this, to call out someone else's prose, demands some mockery.

[John]

Guilty as charged. It is a terrible sentence and I should have rewritten it. The prose is bad but the thinking is at least coherent. So there is that.

[Notorious UGCC]

I'm surprised Reason missed this story about an enemy power developing a dangerous new weapon.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm a Macdad Klingon with all the humanoid bitches
'cuz my head ain't the only part me that's got ridges

[Swiss Servator]

WHERE MUH CH GONE? http://top40-charts.com/chart.php?cid=23

*weeps into kirschwasser*

To find true dialect Deutsch music, I have to turn to Austria...http://top40-charts.com/chart.php?cid=23

[Swiss Servator]

Dammit!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWgisTPKCdk

[Notorious UGCC]

You know who else turned to Austria?

[DenverJ]

Rodgers and Hammerstein in 1959?

[PapayaSF]

Suleiman the Magnificent?

[Notorious UGCC]

Speaking of OJ nostalgia, Loretta Lynch briefly considered Robert Kardashian for the Supreme Court vacancy.

[Mr Drew]

Greetings from Pigeon Forge, friends.

I have now had deep fried corn on the cob...and kinda liked it. I'll be taking an extra statin at bedtime.

The WonderWorld "upside-down building" was a lot of fun for the small one. We also made sure that the Skill-Crane industry is solvent for another year.

Tomorrow it's on to the Dixie Stampede and the Wax Museum.

[jesse.in.mb]

You're going to the Ole Smoky Distiller, aren't you?

She'll love the apple pie moonshine!

[Mr Drew]

Nice, jesse. I think not, but I might tell her mom that we did.

[jarflax]

Did you manage to win anything at Skill-Crane? and tell the little one I said hi online.

[Mr Drew]

She eventually won a plastic ball worth about 3 cents

[Swiss Servator]

More than I ever got... *grumbles*

I mean, um, gosh, sounds like an interesting and challenging game of skill!

[commodious spittoon]

Some people have all the luck... or all the time in the world.

[Mr Drew]

+40 "no-cash-value" tokens

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

When you're a really little kid, that 3 cent ball has incredible value. And as a parent, it's worth it.

[Mr Drew]

Hi yunky. I miss you. Are you feeling better? - Bun bun

[jarflax]

I feel much better today, and miss the little one.

[jarflax]

and really wonder what people are making of this exchange.

[Mr Drew]

In the public interest, let me clarify that the above was written by my seven year old to her godfather, jarflax.

[Crusty Juggler]

Sure it was.

[DenverJ]

Oh, it's just a little abstract.

[Mr Drew]

Good and I'm sorry. I'll be back Sunday. -Bun bun

[jarflax]

Have fun!

[Crusty Juggler]

That was the strangest exchange I've ever witnessed on this website.

[GILMORE?]

That you weren't actually part of, you mean?

[Crusty Juggler]

How dare you imply that I need to interact with another person to be strange

[Swiss Servator]

"to be" or "inevitably ends up as"?

[Crusty Juggler]

Don't feel guilty about being entertained 67% of the time.

[jarflax]

I am flattered. To be thought strange by Crusty is to have succeeded beyond all measure at avoiding conformity!

[Crusty Juggler]

Bless you my son

[AFSlade]

No. Not even close. Have you read upthread at all??

[AceDroman]

Cade's Cove. Go to Cade's Cove.

[pan fried wylie]

(incidentally people are really bad at washing their cutting boards properly)

Wooden boards. switch to plastic, people.

PLASTIC!!!!!111112

[Notorious UGCC]

The human race survived a long time without Alondra Cano in office.

[grrizzly]

The Cambridge, MA ban on free plastic bags came into effect yesterday. So, now Cambridge is as retarded as LA.

[Crusty Juggler]

Plastic bags are destroying our fragile ecosystem, you right-wing monster.

[See Double You]

With that kind of logic, we could get rid of electricity, vaccines, piped water...

[Libertarian]

And when people get sick from carrying their groceries home in contaminated canvas bags, will she be there to help? No, she'll be unreachable, just like my tree-ordinance-passing city council will be when the next hurricane blows a tree onto my roof.

[Ted S.]

The human race managed to survive a long time without Alondra Cano, too.

[LoneWaco]

Dallas Texas repealed and didn't replace ours. suck on that Dwayne Carraway. no graft for you. by the way, where is the money you did collect?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

What an uber-stupid comment.

[See Double You]

The smug was worth it.

[jesse.in.mb]

That assumes static retardation on LA's part.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

No, Cambridge and LA are as retarded as Seattle.

Enjoy your much slower checkout lines, Cambridge.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

...and Montreal and Minnesota and...

It's a Festivus of retardation.

[Tonio]

...and be free to gambol.

[jarflax]

and agriculture, domesticated animals, fire...

[grrizzly]

I guess the plastic bag ban has a special meaning to me because it reminds me of the life in the Soviet Union/Russia. It was inconceivable that a store would give you a bag for free, so you always had to carry your own. Just another similarity, like the mass surveillance or electing corrupt criminals for president (coming soon).

[Square = Circle]

"That assumes static retardation on LA's part."

Tsh! In the Bay Area we have a ban on *any* free bags at all.

NO ONE will EVER have us beat!

[Crusty Juggler]

I'm glad you shared that.

[OneOut]

That should put things in perspective for those who listen to you.

Unfortunately I'm sad to say it probably won't.

Those without your life experience who think that your life experience would be so KOOL if only Bernie were in charge will take nothing from it.

[See Double You]

Not only that, she'll also be free of any liability from the totally foreseeable consequences of her actions. Such is the privilege of being a lawmaker.

[jesse.in.mb]

The bans are dumb and unnecessary, but I find this response hysterical. In the "I have a womb and it causes me emotional reactions" sense, not the "really funny" sense.

The bans don't preclude plastic bags in the loose fruit/veggie section OR the butcher area. Also canvas is a fairly robust material and will survive throwing in your laundry with your sheets pretty indefinitely.

[Libertarian]

I didn't say I'd get sick. But I remember the instances a couple years ago in some California city where people did get sick after a local bag ban.

[tarran]

If you are poor and don't own a washer and dryer....

I really, really hate the fucking greens.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

Except people don't clean their reusable bags which leads to food poisining.

[C. Anacreon]

Hey, in many parts of CA you aren't allowed to even PAY for a plastic bag at the store. If you don't have your own you can pay for paper only.

It really, really sux.

There is an initiative on the fall ballot about it, however, to allow us to have plastic bags again. I can only hope there is 50% plus 1 people in this state might realize that a plastic bag isn't such a bad thing.

[jesse.in.mb]

I didn't say I'd get sick.

I'm not sure where I suggested you would.

There was an uptick in food-borne illness in SF around the time of their bag ban. As far as I can tell that link hasn't been shown in other locations that have implemented bag bans. There's also a stat about how a bunch of bags have e. coli, but the study that comes from didn't differentiate from the food poisoning strains of e. coli and the ones that are mostly harmless. It's certainly possible people can get sick from using a reusable bag instead of plastic but the cases usually brought forward aren't particularly conclusive. It's also possible someone can get sick from putting sprouts on their salad, going to restaurants or not washing their cutting boards properly (incidentally people are really bad at washing their cutting boards properly).

Again, I think the bans are stupid and unnecessary feel good bullshit from politicians, but the "bag bans will make children sick" thing that goes around whenever they come up is probably a canard.

[jesse.in.mb]

I bet those people aren't even using Clorox to wash their sheets!

They might be diving into BODY SOIL every time they jump into bed.

[Swiss Servator]

STEVE SMITH ONLY HAVE WINGS HE TORE OFF CONDOR HE WANTED TO RAPE. TIRED OF CHASING BIRD AROUND!

[Swiss Servator]

Wait...am I not free to gambol?

[commodious spittoon]

Does it get your clothes huggably soft?

[DenverJ]

Only in Vegas or Atlantic City.

[OneOut]

How much money has been spent on these different "initiatives" and such ?