Election 2016

Idiotic Anti-Immigrant GIF Argument By GOP Rep. Goodlatte Will Make You Want To Move To Canada…

...or even Mexico. Bob Goodlatte's design-challenged interns are wasting your tax dollars.

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House Judiciary Committee

Your tax dollars at work, ladies and germs: The House Judiciary Committee, chaired by the Honorable and tech-challenged Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) has published a bold, gif-filled "argument" against Emperor Obama's unilateral and unconditional surrender of the nation's borders to all the Mexican rapists and drug mules. For real.

Titled "At The Flick of a Switch," the web page begins with six irregularly sized images of a light switch before intoning

1. Right now, one single person – the President of the United States – can turn off the enforcement of our immigration laws unilaterally. For real.

Sweet fancy Moses! Then come the gifs, interspersed among lines such as

3. The problem is that when our immigration laws aren't enforced, it encourages more illegal immigration and causes the system to implode. Not cool.

and

6. House Republicans have introduced a bill that prevents the President from unilaterally shutting down the enforcement of our immigration laws. It does so by allowing state and local governments to enforce federal immigration law.

Experience the full multi-media power of this colossal waste of your money by going here now.

At the risk of being "for real," it's worth fisking some of the main points in the least-convincing attempt to win over the kids with stupid old shit since Archie, Jughead, and Big Ethel started solving "weird mysteries" rather than chug milkshakes at Pop's Chok'lit Shoppe.

For starters, President Obama didn't turn off "enforcement of our immigration laws." In 2014, via executive order, he prioritized who gets deported first, choosing not to kick out illegals with kids who are U.S. citizens and who haven't broken any laws for five years (other than being here without papers). 

As Steve Chapman wrote at Reason:

Under Obama's new executive order, up to five million undocumented immigrants could gain work permits and an assurance they won't be removed. This group includes the parents of kids born in the United States as well as foreigners who have been here five years or more without getting into serious trouble….

Obama's argument is that since the federal government can't and won't expel everyone who is here without authorization, it should pass over those who pose no real threat and focus on the more objectionable ones—criminals and foreigners who return after being expelled.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has the manpower and money to deport only about 4 percent of the foreigners who are not entitled to be here. It makes sense to focus those resources on the most worrisome ones.

The order has been put on hold while its legality works through the courts and he Supreme Court will rule on whether or not the policy is constitutional or not. There are good arguments on both sides of that issue but let's not get in the way of a more important point, one that's for-real enough that it should be made in all caps: BARACK OBAMA HAS DEPORTED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT! If you've ever wondered just how incredibly fact-challenged, if not just downright stupid, Republicans can be, consider the fact that they are managing to alienate Hispanics during the reign of a president who has kicked more Mexicans and other Spanish-speaking New Worlders out of the country than anyone else.

But, but, but…what about the "not cool" implosion of the immigration system when non-threatening illegals aren't summarily kicked out of the country? Does it encourage "more illegal immigration"? Yeah, no.

When Republicans—even fake Republicans such as Donald Trump, the odds-on favorite to become the GOP's presidential candidate, god what a fake Republican!—talk about illegals, they are talking about Mexicans, who make up about half of all illegals. Guess what? The number of illegal Mexicans in the United States peaked in 2007. In fact, we're seeing a net out-migration of Mexicans, illegal and otherwise, from the United States. Which means that if we do build that stupid, ineffective, and sure-to-fail wall, its main success might be in trapping Mexicans—sorry, disease-ridden rapists who are carry drugs and bring crime—in the good ol' U.S. of A.

And if you can't stand having to hit that extra, productivity-killing button at the ATM machine—you know, the one that asks you whether you want to proceed in American or Mexican—sit tight:

Barring truly massive shocks to the Mexican economy or political system, we are extremely unlikely to see another great wave of immigration for at least the next 20 year to 40 years. And that would only happen if Mexico reverses a half-century of declining fertility rates within the next few years.

Georgetown Book Shop

But let's not let anything get in the way of the latest and greatest conservatard policy proposals emanating from Bob Goodlatte, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and all the other sharp minds behind a party so attractive and principled that just 26 percent of Americans identify with it, right?

If you think it's a good idea to force local cops to start enforcing immigration laws, chew on this: In recent memory, it used to be conservatives who were opposed to unfunded mandates and Washington, D.C. just piling on rules and regulations. Now, in the wake of Brussels attacks, Cruz and others want local cops "to patrol and secure Muslim neighborhoods" here in the United States.

Maybe this is more improtant: Sanctuary cities, where local law enforcement pledges not to investigate people's immigration status absent a court order to specifically do so, are safer than comparably sized cities that do the work of ICE. It's not hard to figure out why: Locals are more likely to report crime and cooperate with the law if they're worried that they're going to get rounded up and deported every time they call 911 or rat out troublemakers.

For centuries, the United States of America has simultaneously been a country of immigrants and a place that scapegoats immigrants. Somewhere on this page is a turn-of-century cartoon showing Italians being delivered to our shores "direct from the slums of Europe daily." The first time I saw that image, I mistook the rats for Mexicans (one of them is sporting an Italian tri-color headband, which isn't so different than the Mexican flag's colors). Same shit, different century.

Except that we should know better by now. How stupid are we, that we fall for the same cooked-up rhetoric and phony fears over and over and over again? Obama has been a terrible president as far as I'm concerned. But among the reasons for that is his record number of deportations, not the fact that he figures we should deport violent illegals first and law-abiding immigrants with kids last. Mexicans and other illegals are not swarming to our shores; they're leaving America because our economy is lackluster. And making Officer Friendly also start doing the job of Border Patrol agents won't make us safer, it will just make it harder to solve local crimes.

I wish that Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Bob Goodlatte, and all the other nativist hysterics out there would acknowledge basic reality every once in a while. And if that's a bridge too far, then at least in the case of Goodlatte, stop using tax dollars to post insultingly stupid and pathetic Buzzfeed-style arguments that are more full of shit than a GG Allin concert ever was.

Related video: "The GOP Is Wrong About Sanctuary Cities."

NEXT: Is Gary Johnson the Best Hope for #NeverTrump?

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  1. Jesus fucking Christ, they actually thought the best way to present this argument was through a 13-year-old girl’s Tumblr?

    1. They shoulda gone with something hip and relevant, like Lou Reed.

            1. A real fan wouldn’t spell it that way

        1. You must mean Ziggy Pop.

      1. what do you have against lou reed?

        1. He used the word “colored”, ipso facto racist.

          1. But not anti-transgender, so it’s a wash.

            Also, given the shit going on at The Factory, the colored girls could have been girls painted magenta.

            1. Lou Reed on race

              I want to be black
              Have natural rhythm
              Shoot twenty feet of jism, too
              And fuck up Jews
              I want to be black
              I want to be a Panther

              Have a girlfriend named Samantha
              And have a stable of foxy whores
              Oh I want to be black

              I don’t want to be a fucked up, middle class,
              College student anymore
              I just want to have a stable of foxy little whores
              Yeah, yeah I want to be black

              I want to be black
              I want to be like Martin Luther King
              And get myself shot in spring
              And lead a whole generation too
              And fuck up the Jews

              I want to be black, I want to be like Malcolm X
              And cast a hex over President Kennedy’s tomb
              And have a big prick, too

              I don’t want to be a fucked up, middle class,
              College student anymore
              I just want to have a stable of foxy little whores
              Yeah, yeah I want to be black

      1. “It’s Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday”

    2. They actually thought the best way to present this argument was through a 13-year-old girl’s Tumblr?

      I would never presume to be nearly as social-media hip as you, HM, but isn’t that more-accurately “Buzzfeed”-style?

      i.e. – punctuating a bullet point list with GIFs?

      Tublr’s are more…well, there’s no mention of preferred pronouns or self-harm there. that i saw.

  2. C’mon, increase that welfare state, Nick. It will lead to the Libertarian moment!

    1. Don’t you realize that the only way to uphold libertarian values is to let into the country as many anti-libertarians who want to come here??

  3. Nick’s just jealous Goodlatte is better at the millennial outreach.

    1. He’s called Good Latte, fercryinoutloud! How can you be against what he says?

  4. OT: EXPERTS SEE LITTLE CHANCE OF CHARGES IN CLINTON EMAIL CASE

    several lawyers who specialize in this area said it’s a stretch to apply existing statutes to a former cabinet secretary whose communication of sensitive materials was with aides

    The article is full of crap like this. The Clintonistas must be feeling the heat.

    1. The un-indicted Presidential candidate will be the first elected after a Presidential pardon.

  5. Jesus Nick, even if you’re doing it ironically using GIFs to illustrate a post puts this place one step closer to being Buzzfeed or Jezebel.

  6. Jif is what choosey moms choose.

    1. So no Jif for Epi’s mom.

      1. She gets the HARD “g.”

  7. wait that was real?

  8. so being able to distinguish legal from illegal immigration and disliking sanctuary cities constitutes nativist hysteria. Noticing that Muslims have a problem in their midst is pants-shitting. But believing every cop is going to kill you is common sense. Okay. Seems the odds of any of these things occurring are roughly the same. Curiously, the one I have most control over is interaction with cops; they are the easiest to avoid.

      1. and yet, my only encounters are for something like speeding, which hasn’t happened in years. In addition, there are increasing instances of rogue cops being punished, a nice step forward.

        1. This is just a wild guess, but, could you possibly be somewhere on the cream to peach complexion spectrum?

          1. IT’S CALLED AN IRISH TAN, FUCKO. WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?

            1. IT’S CALLED AN IRISH TAN

              I get that when I’m drunk too.

          2. no…I can pass for a good many of the browns, Hindus excepted.

        2. and yet, my only encounters are for something like speeding, which hasn’t happened in years.

          What have your encounters with terrorists been like?

    1. What’s your beef with sanctuary cities?

      1. I just find something inconsistent about the elected and appointed class being selective on which laws to follow and which to ignore, but getting its panties in a bunch if the proles think about doing the same thing.

        1. There’s nothing inconsistent about it, that’s how government works.

  9. “Idiotic Anti-Immigrant GIF Argument By GOP Rep. Goodlatte Will Make You Want To Move To Canada…”

    I’ve seen a lot of people on the left (not Gillespie), recently, talk about moving to Canada in regards to Trump winning, and while I know they’re being sarcastic, doing so also betrays some of their foolishness.

    1) What makes people on the left think Canadians want a bunch of whiny social justice warriors? Just because the American public is sick of social justice warriors doesn’t mean Canadians want them either.

    2) How will social justice warriors get to Canada? You can’t use EBT for plane tickets.

    1. I tonight SJWs were the spoiled kids of republicans?

      1. RINOs maybe. Trump voter kids are named Tater and have been riding ATVs since before they could walk.

    2. Spoiler warning: Canada also has an immigration policy, no open borders and strict controls on who gets in.

      1. Took me almost two hours to get in via the border crossing north of Seattle. And that was *after* we handed them our passports.

        1. Canadian border patrol are self-important pricks. I think they have some sort of inferiority complex. It really comes out when I mention I am just visiting my family in the 51st state.

          1. They made us pull over, searched every inch of the car, and questioned us individually on our drug history and such. Thankfully they gave me the code to the “washroom” so I could take a shit. America’s Hat has really changed.

            1. So they correctly deduced that you were smuggling shit?

          2. 51st state? So that’s why I was not let in? I called it “America’s Attic” the place where we store stuff we are not sure if we want to toss out in the garbage just yet.

            I am sure glad Nick was there to ‘splain it to me why I should be more afraid of a republican representative than I should be of criminal aliens and the city governments that aid and abet those criminals with my taxes.

            And here I was worried about the billions of tax dollars spent to care for, feed and house other countries unwanted.

      2. But everybody wants America’s social justice warriors because they’re so intolerant of speech and dissent.

        America’s social justice warriors will even learn to be respectful of Quebecois culture, the Metis, and they’ll start saying “First Nations” instead of “injun”.

        . . . and all the Canadians will have to do in return is accept a quota system to force more blacks onto NHL teams, shut down all the Timmys, and change the lyrics in the French version of the Canadian national anthem (It talks about protecting homes and rights, which is obviously racist).

        1. French version? Eau q’un adieu?

    3. No, they’re not being sarcastic, they’re being their typical whiny ass selves. It’s only the sure fact that they won’t actually do it that’s disappointing.

    4. “When America sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. Theyre sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing Safe Spaces. They’re bringing intersectionality. They’re SJWs. And some, I assume, are good people.”

      1. + everything?

  10. A hyperventilating article about a Buzzfeed-worthy GIF filled Republican OP. We really are inside politics’ asshole at this point.

    1. That explains why we’re all here!

  11. I would spread Allison Brie’s ass all over my face like…Brie cheese.

    1. Would you scrape the fuzzy white stuff off first?

      1. Absolutely not. A little smegma is good for the soul.

        1. You are a true epicure, sir.

        2. *blushes*
          I prefer Yelp Elite.

    2. Hepatitis A, dude!

      Seriously.

        1. So you have adult autism now.

  12. Make Brittany 16 18 Again

    Maybe this is more improtant: Sanctuary cities, where local law enforcement pledges not to investigate people’s immigration status absent a court order to specifically do so, are safer than comparably sized cities that do the work of ICE. It’s not hard to figure out why: Locals are more likely to report crime and cooperate with the law if they’re worried that they’re going to get rounded up and deported every time they call 911 or rat out troublemakers.

    This is exceptionally retarded.

      1. [horse whinnies emphatically]

  13. Alison Brie inspires the best gifs. Probably NSFW.

    1. That bitch Tadolf is gonna be mad you have a sidechick.

        1. *lines up Crusty’s killshot from the rooftop*

            1. *loads the special bad blood round*

  14. I’m not going to complain about Alison Brie gifs.

    1. you’re a great American.

  15. Once again, the Stupid Party is shooting themselves in the foot by accelerating the trend to deputize state and local police to enforce federal law..

    Eliminating immigration sanctuary cities today.

    Eliminating right to bear arms sanctuary cities tomorrow.

  16. So, Republicans are now acting like Democrats, using silly childish things to persuade their constituency? Next think you know, the GOP will have their own pajama boy.

    1. Hey, I got an idea! Marco doesn’t have anything else going on right now…

      1. You got a point. ‘A new GOP film documentary, starring Little Marco the pajama wearing rino!’.

        1. He could teach little kids about spelling and primary colors!

  17. For starters, President Obama didn’t turn off “enforcement of our immigration laws.” In 2014, via executive order, he prioritized who gets deported first, choosing not to kick out illegals with kids who are U.S. citizens and who haven’t broken any laws for five years (other than being here without papers).

    Yeah, Obama’s just been an immigration enforcement machine….

  18. not to mention that, if he’s unilaterally doing anything, what good is passing a law going to do?

  19. As throughly retarded and cringe-worth as that was, we still haven’t reached the level of absurdity required so that adding in a picture of Alison Brie doesn’t immediately the whole thing.

    1. *cringe-worthy *immediatly REDEEM *and I think throughly is spelled wrong too. Fuck this phone.

      *Whistles away while pretending the drinking had nothing to do with it.

      1. Regardless of what it is, your phone sucks, d00d.

  20. BARACK OBAMA HAS DEPORTED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT!

    I have seen others here suggest that this is because, under the current administration, the reporting changed so that people turned away at the border were counted as “deported”. If that’s true, the same guy could be deported a few hundred times a day.

    1. I’ve heard that as well, and it seems more credible than Obama being Mr. Deport Em.

    2. According to this article, the Obama administration just changed how they counted deportations.

      Obama Deportations

      On the other side of the ledger, the number of people deported at or near the border has gone up ? primarily as a result of changing who gets counted in the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency’s deportation statistics.

      The vast majority of those border crossers would not have been treated as formal deportations under most previous administrations. If all removals were tallied, the total sent back to Mexico each year would have been far higher under those previous administrations than it is now.

      The shift in who gets tallied helped the administration look tough in its early years but now may be backfiring politically.

    1. Late to the party, as usual

      1. I WAS BUSY MASTURBATING TO ALISON BRIE GIFS AND THEN TRYING TO GET MY CAPSLOCK UNSTUCK

          1. The two things were unrelated. I would never look at porn on the same computer where I do my commenting art.

        1. It stopped working=it’s top twerking

    2. Allons-y, brie!

  21. Move to Canada?

    Oh, God, please, no.

    There’s already way too many disaffected U.S. citizens within our borders.

    Oh, and the chick up-article who’s wearing the purple sweater? WOULD!

    1. Alison Brie, you say?

      Yum.

  22. As noted above, we have enough self-righteous American liberal pricks up here. And they all seem to work for the CBC, newspapers, or universities where they can poison our minds with their dreck.

    1. You have culturally appropriated dreck.

  23. #3 I want “Teh system” esplode.

    Teach you fuckers a lesson. =)

  24. This wasn’t worth more than a sentence of anyone’s time. Nick, take a break, let Robby handle stuff this inane.

    I also think its hilarious to pretend to be outraged that a) “” BARACK OBAMA HAS DEPORTED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT!”””…. then b) point the finger at *Republicans* for being the awful ones for failing to recognize and appreciate that, somehow.

    Obama could be roasting illegals in a nightly bonfire in the desert and Of Course everyone in the GOP will screech AMNESTY!! AMNESTY!!!… because voters think there are *too many darn Mexicans*. Politics is Perception.

    Its the Republicans version of “Global Warming”. Just as fact-free, just as nonsensical scaremongering, but just as effective at making their respective bases froth insensibly how the Other Side is going to cause the end of the world.

    Anyone who doesn’t get that by this point is fucking retarded.

    1. Buy any nice shoes lately?

      1. Nope. last pair i got was some Johnson & Murphy loafers like…early last year. half-rubber sole. less slip& slide.

        I’m not really a shoe guy. Or I’ve never bothered to go the trouble to get some of those english handmade things. I have a pair of church’s brown wingtips but i got them used at a hipster flea market. they’re more like casual shoes.

        1. Hey, me too! J&M.

          I will get one of those English or Italian hand made things. Because I feel like it. I have to decide which ones.

          1. When i worked at a bank, i’d get mail order catalogues for those handmade english shoes. it was one brochure for like 6-8 boutique companies. Shipton & Hennage, Crockett & Jones…etc. They knew their market. I still think i’m not quite old enough to justify the expense. The only things that really appealed to me were the single-buckle “Monk Shoes” which i’ve never had

            1. I’m gonna check those names out.

            2. You a size 11? I won a pair of monkstraps that I never use from Jackthreads.

              1. nope. somewhere between 9.5 & 10, probably closer to the former. depends on the shape.

                1. Welp. Guess I’ll have to eat ’em then.

  25. Man does NY have nannyism down pat:

    http://www.foxsports.com/ufc/s…..ort-032216

    1. i didn’t even know it was banned NY. I’ve never been to an MMA fight and I’m not sure how interested i’d be in actually seeing one.

      1. As a non-participant, I find MMA boring as all hell to watch. Nearly every MMA fight I’ve seen is 20 seconds of action and then ground grappling until the buzzer. I’d rather watch boxing if I’m gonna watch a combat sport.

        1. I find MMA boring as all hell to watch. Nearly every MMA fight I’ve seen is 20 seconds of action and then ground grappling until the buzzer.

          Oh, I quite like it. I like boxing too (a friend in college was an amateur boxer and would watch fight tapes on repeat and talk about people’s footwork) but i prefer the mix of styles in MMA fighting.

          You need to see a handpicked selection of good fights to get a better idea of the range of stuff that can happen. I recommend watching Bas Rutten’s fight films …which is 99% in Pancrase – which is pre-UFC mma in Japan… he narrates each fight and provides a wealth of info on how certain fight techniques develop.

          The advantage of the pancrase stuff is that there’s no ground & pound – its either knock people out on your feet, or submit them. Its also helps that bas is a hilarious character.

          1. I have a few friends who did amateur MMA fighting, so I know even the bits that seem boring to watch to me are actually really intense and skillful to the actual fighters. But basically I’m not really motivated enough to get into the nuances of it. I find boxing easier to watch as a clueless boob.

      2. Never got into it. Not into the culture. Not interested.

        Boxing is as far as I’ll go.

    2. It seemed 2016 was the year to make the vote finally happen, especially with Governor Andrew Cuomo adding a provision for MMA in his yearly budget.

      Please tell me this doesn’t mean what I think it does.

  26. When Republicans… talk about illegals, they are talking about Mexicans

    [citation needed].

    Every Republican immigration proposal is heavy on national ID cards and a biometric entry/exit system, which would primarily affect the 40-some percent of illegal immigrants who overstay legal visas. Pretty sure by “illegal immigrants” they mean “immigrants who are present illegally”. It’s not actually a super complicated term.

  27. choosing not to kick out illegals with kids who are U.S. citizens

    Anchor babies!

  28. BARACK OBAMA HAS DEPORTED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT!

    Oh yeah, about that

  29. Good game, all in.*

    This is how I begin and end every SC2 match. Hope to see some of you there. I play Terran.

  30. “Right now, one single person ? the President of the United States ? can turn off the enforcement of our immigration laws unilaterally. For real.”

    I thought that was SOP?

    “The problem is that when our immigration laws aren’t enforced, it encourages more illegal immigration”

    It doesn’t?

    I’m sorry, you can bring across all the hot immigrant women you want with no complaint from me, but are you seriously arguing that the above statements aren’t true?

  31. The Hymn of Kassiani is technically designated as a hymn for Holy Wednesday morning, but it is often done on Tuesday evening Vespers by way of anticipation.

    As explained here, this hymn is about the penitent woman who washed Jesus’ feet (Luke 7:36-50).

    And for ENB – “In some places in Greece, this Matins service and its hymn are popular with sex workers, who often avoid church at other times.”

    1. What exactly are you implying about ENB?

      1. That she likes to write about sex workers, what did you think I meant?

        1. (I should say almost 50% of her articles have that angle)

        2. That she was a church avoiding sex worker. NTTAWWT. In fact, I’m totally down with that.

          1. One of you guys linked to that article, but that’s not what I was referring to.

    2. “Nervous as a whore in church”.

  32. So in Idaho Kasich is losing 2 to 1 to Rubio who is not even still running and yet Kasich is still in the race? I hope every race going forward, Kasich loses to someone who has already dropped out.

    http://www.cnn.com/election/primaries/states/id

    1. The Idaho caucus was two weeks ago dude.

      1. Ok. That makes more sense. Weird it showed up on CNN’s main page when I pulled it up.

        1. Prolly cause the Dems are there today.

  33. So now the ‘experts’ are admitting that the hag broke laws, but they really aren’t meant for those holding political power:

    “Charges seen as unlikely in Clinton email case”
    […]
    “The relatively few laws that govern the handling of classified materials were generally written to cover spies, leakers and those who illegally retain such information, such as at home. Though the view is not unanimous, several lawyers who specialize in this area said it’s a stretch to apply existing statutes to a former cabinet secretary whose communication of sensitive materials was with aides ? not a national enemy.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/nation/a…..970736.php

    1. Someone posted a link earlier of an NYPD person killing a pedestrian with no consequences. I think Hillary should get a pass for letting slip a few state secrets, don’t you? I mean come on.

    2. Several lawyers who specialize in this area are full of shit.

      Brad Moss, a Washington lawyer who deals regularly with security clearance matters, said the Justice Department could conceivably look to bring charges in the Clinton email case but prosecutors would have to decide if they “really want to take that gamble.”

      Gamble? What do they stand to lose?

      Inquiries into mishandling of classified information generally end with a security clearance revocation rather than a criminal charge, he said.

      There you have it: she’s done enough to lose her clearance and her job, but not enough to keep from being commander-in-chief.

      1. We had (yep, un-elected last year) a sheriff for the County of San Francisco (same as the city) who had a plea deal on spousal abuse and was forbidden to carry a gun.
        So we’ll have a Prez who is not cleared for secret stuff? Wonderful. She can have Slick Willie read it for her.

        1. And since she’s not cleared, she can sell it to the highest bidder looking for some slack from Uncle Sam! What a deal I have for you!

          1. That foundation is going to fund itself….oh wait.

        2. She’ll be in good company.

    1. “I guess the smallpox should have been washed out by now…. HA HA HA HA HA! Am i right?”

    2. “Am I 1/32nd Cherokee now?”

    3. Cultural appropriation

    4. I love other cultures. Look, a Dutch Oven.

  34. O/T

    I’m not sure anything has given me greater joy than to see supporters of the socialist lectured about their privilege.

    Seriously though. I giggled for 10 minutes.

    1. Privilege is what allows Sanders supporters to say they’ll “never” vote for Clinton

      lol

      if trump ever gets around to genuine dirty stuff…. he should have his own “opposition” staff churning out SJW-scold-letters accusing all the Bernie supporters of being Sexist Racists and lashing out at them for daring to reject Hillary, who they have an obligation to support or else they will be further insulted.

      or better, trolling social media and encouraging them to ATTACK trump supporters and provoke violence…. “Because everyone knows the media will spin it the other way! Do your part!!”

      its going to be like this all year.

    2. Conservative copywriters, whoever you are, I applaud you for your success in taking a complete and total fabrication and successfully integrating it so far into the American consciousness that there are people who agree with nearly every policy position Clinton has today, yet will still claim that she’s “dishonest.” That’s some impressive chicanery, and I mean that.

      It’s lies all the way down.

      1. Is there any US military intervention in the past 25 years that Clinton hasn’t supported? Isn’t Hillary a johnny come lately when it comes to issues like gay marriage and criminal justice reform, and only renounced her husband’s positions once it was politically expedient?

        I’m not a Sanders fan, but those are issues where some Sanders supporters might reasonably disagree with Hillary. And those aren’t exactly right wing talking points about Hillary.

  35. His remarks about Mexican immigration are interesting, but it fails to account for the seemingly non-stop stream of Central and South Americans who travel via Mexico and into the U.S.. For what its worth, I don’t think most people discern between people from Mexico, Guatemala or El Salvador.

    1. You probably recall that the “unaccompanied minor” influx was mostly central American. That reflects broader migration trends.

      1. When your parents have given you up at a young age, I guess you are an unaccompanied minor. Does that mean you’re supposed to accept your lot in life and wallow in self pity?

  36. I would agree with the no immigration crowd if,
    A) immigrants were stealing my land
    B) immigrants were stealing my shit
    C) immigrants were pissing me off with their behavior
    What I find is that it’s more likely that some native born motherfucker thinks it’s his birthright to steal my property or some native born motherfucker thinks he can give away my property to someone else immigrants included so he can further his political career.
    Unfortunately, I can’t deport those motherfuckers.

    1. You can’t deport the native leeches, so you are OK with additional leeches?

    2. Ever see this scene? America: “Do I have a mark on my face, cuz it hurts right here (points to DC).” Politicians: “Nope, looks fine to me.”

  37. For starters, President Obama didn’t turn off “enforcement of our immigration laws.” In 2014, via executive order, he prioritized who gets deported first, choosing not to kick out illegals with kids who are U.S. citizens and who haven’t broken any laws for five years (other than being here without papers).

    He didn’t turn off enforcement of immigration laws, he just stopped punishing people for breaking the immigration laws. Duh.

  38. Fuck all this shit. Where’s Agile Cyborg when I need him?

    Agile? Caress our eyes with your essential thoughts! Please!

    1. You need to have what he’s having.

  39. More fake nonsense from a party that is fully on board with open borders. I am so tired of the mind games played by all when it comes to the southern border. “Let me sell you some non-solution to obscure reality”. We either have borders or we don’t. Or we have selective borders, notice no open northern borders.

    Lower wages make corporations happy. A new voting block to court makes politicians giddy. More wagon pullers to pay for the ever growing debt makes the bankers happy. And the creeping dissolution of borders makes the supranational globalists happy. All winners. The southern border crosser, winner. For the short run at least. Picture hopping from a rickety old life boat to the giant, luxurious Titanic the night before the iceberg slashed the side of the boat thinking you just dodged a bullet. They don’t leave the southern border open out of concern for Latino’s.

    Shouldn’t need an argument to enforce laws. It’s just subterfuge.

    1. So you are as economically literate as Trump or Sanders?

      1. I’ll take fun with rhetorical devices for a thousand Alex.

  40. “Your tax dollars at work”.

    Well it was probably done by unpaid college interns. That would be consistent with the level of the message.

  41. I know Nick isn’t really into the Libertarian party itself, but I still chuckled a little at…

    “…and all the other sharp minds behind a party so attractive and principled that just 26 percent of Americans identify with it, right?”

    Yes, the number of committed voters partaking in an ideology definitely indicates its validity, which is why libertarianism is the best! Um…wait…

  42. Yes the GOP and Dems and suicide-vest mohammedan berserkers are all wrong. What is more, all of them believe absolutely in the value of collectivism, altruism and revealed Faith. It is this shared belief, nurtured, amplified and exported to make the rest of the world even more coercively totalitarian than it would otherwise be, that is causing Saracen avengers and the mindlessly frightened to stampede hither in terror of their own deepest convictions.

    The libertarian platform committee would to well to ramp up our opposition to mass exportation of prohibitionist looting and armed meddling and otherwise stand clear of the hydrophobic dogfight pitting identical ideologies against each other. Get votes, change laws, eschew martyrdom.

  43. I especially liked item 8, where “We” trusted state and local law enforcement to lustily enforce asset forfeiture looting until the collapse of the entire economy, therefore “we” ought to arm them and “give them a role in enforcing our immigration laws. This just makes sense.”

  44. Note the Chapman quote (everyone’s favorite libertarian).

    As near as I can tell, there’s not much difference between Chapman and Gillespie–two leftists that want pot legalized. Did anyone note Gillespie’s cartoonish idea of conservatism in the interview with George Will?

    Exactly what is libertarian about open borders in a welfare state? Answer: nothing.

    Will someone wake me up when actual libertarians take control of Reason again?

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  46. ” BARACK OBAMA HAS DEPORTED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT! ”

    It doesn’t count when you keep deporting the same guys over and over again..

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