Reason Weekly Contest: Harry Potter Appropriates All the Cultures

Last week's winners revealed.

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Harry Potter
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Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's prompt is:

Recently, a 4-year-old was recommended for a counter-terrorism program after he mispronounced "cucumber" and "cooker bomb." Come up with the next goofed up word or phrase that might get a kid reported to the authorities.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "KID WORD" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, March 21. Winners will appear on March 25. In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: After an academic accused J.K. Rowling of "culturally appropriating" Native American myths, we asked you to come up with the name of the next truly offensive Harry Potter sequel or spin-off.

THE WINNER:

Harry Potter and the Tepee of Tears—Joshua Cleveland, Baltimore, MD

SECOND PLACE:

Harry Potter and the College Tequila Party—Jason Bedrick, Washington, DC

THIRD PLACE:

Harry Potter and the Enviable Wand—— K.C. Decker, Denton, MD

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Harry Potter and the Chamber of LGBT Secrets—Ed Perovic, Winnetka, IL

Harry Potter and the Blanket of Smallpox—Robert Brown, Micanopy, FF

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Microaggressions—CG

Harry Potter & The Consensual Sexual Encounter—Brent Ingebretsen, Richmond, VA

Harry Potter and the Firebolt Phallusy—Tim Whalen—Manassas, VA

It Takes a Horcrux—Colin Blake, Boston, MA

Muggle Lives Matter—Robert Ryan,  Dallas City, IL

Harry Potter and the Retroactive Sexual Orientation—Jay Stenmark, Madison, AL

Harry Potter and the Voodoo Curse—Sam Miller, St. Paul, MN

Hagrid and His Unhealthy Obesity

Harry Potter and Concerned Hogwarts Student 1950—Charlie Baker, Somerville, MA

Harry Potter and the Trail of Tears—Aresen

Harry Potter and the Magical Chicken of General Tso—Theresa Klein, Leesburg, VA

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo—Vivian James, Germany, Cologne

Harry Potter and the Heap Big Wampum—P.S.

AND FROM THE COMMENTS:

Harry Potter and the Unchecked Privilege

Harry Potter and the Quidditch Participation Trophy

Harry Potter and the Pipe of Peace

Harry Potter and The Religious Bakery

Harry Potter and the Pound of Flesh

Harry Potter and the Gate of Gamers

Harry Potter and the Myth of a Holocaust

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Sensitivity Camp

Harry Potter and the Mixed-Race Token Middle-Manager

Hxxxy Pottsperson

Granger Gets a Gun: When Magic Is Not Enough

Harry Potter and the Aztec Sacrifice

Harry Potter and the Case for Common Sense Wand Control

Harry Potter and the Gendered Bathroom

Harry Potter and the Great Wall of Mexico