No Charges for Hospital Bombers, SEC Rules on Amazon's Gender Pay Gap, Robo Pizza-Delivery Coming: A.M. Links

|

femme run/Flickr

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content.

NEXT: Trump and Cruz on War and Peace

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. North Korea’s gone a bit missile-happy again.

    “GIVE US FOOD.”

    1. “Or at least attention.”

      1. and a barber.

    2. Hello.

        1. Is that hayseed for Gr?? Gott?

          1. *scowls, readies crossbow and pike*

            1. *scoffs*

              Your kind can’t even muster a proper ?.

        2. That’s Spanish for, “a whale’s vagina”.

    3. Friday Funnies

      Picture, if you will, President Barack Obama drawn with a phallic head and elephant ears speaking with an aide in the Oval Office. The aide, who is drawn like a labia for some reason, is informing the president that the conservative press is close to finding out that all that lead found in Michigan’s water was from the runoff from the piles of clunkers the administration (kind of but not really) exchanged cash for back in 2009. The president declares they need a distraction and wonders aloud if it’s too late to trade Bowe Bergdahl back to the Taliban. The aide suggests the president warn Secretary Clinton of their plan. The president agrees this is a good idea and whips out his Blackberry. “What’s her email again?”

      1. Needs more labels

      2. Get Chip Bok to illustrate it for you. That would be hilarious.

  2. 154) What I don’t understand about the election this year is how the candidates are all so unlikeable. All the previous elections I remember the candidates appeared superficially agreeable, or at least bland, even if they were really criminal scum. But this year we have:

    Hillary Clinton, who gives such a strong impression of shrewishness as to make her serial philanderer of a husband seem sympathetic?I mean, you can’t really blame Bill for wanting to get out of the house

    Bernie Sanders, who looks almost exactly as coherent and emotionally-centered as my mid-stage Alzheimer’s-suffering step-father while he’s shaking his fist and yelling at the Weather Channel

    Ted Cruz?Damn, that’s one punchable face

    and Donald Trump, a scarlet-faced blowhard whose very name until a few months ago was a byword for ostentatious bad taste in architecture, wives, and hairstyles.

    How did this happen? How did these people even get to be public figures? How low have we set our standards?

    1. Because politics is vile and nasty, so only the worst people go into it?

      1. But why aren’t they able (or bother) to cover it up anymore?

    2. You may ask yourself…

      1. Letting the days go by, water flowing under.

    3. We get what we deserve.
      Our sins are many.
      Our punishment must be ugly.

    4. Unlikeable candidates are good. They remind us that elected officials are merely human, that they should be watched like hawks, they should not be trusted, and that their powers should be strictly limited.

      It is the “likeable” candidates with the fashion ? plate wives, Who appear on talk shows and joke with the hosts, and who present themselves as “cool” who cause us to let our guard down .

  3. More than 300 federal agents helped in raids on upstate New York Jewish schools.

    Do I really have to ask?

    1. This is an effort to get Jews to vote Libertarian.

    2. The office of US Attorney Preet Bharara says in a statement that the searches were part of an ongoing fraud investigation.

  4. More than 300 federal agents helped in raids on upstate New York Jewish schools.

    You know who else?

    1. The office of US Attorney Preet Bharara says…

      You can stop reading right there.

      1. Uh oh. Some Hebrew boy must have drew a picture of a woodchipper.

        1. You know what other Jewish boy was into working with wood?

          1. Alexander Portnoy?

          2. The kid from Bad Santa?

          3. Bernie Sanders?

      2. That woodchippin’ worthy mudderfucker.

    2. The Palestinians?

    3. Hadrian?

  5. “Rampant teen sexting” spurs lots of…

    …masturbation.

    1. Really? Figured it would be “too old” for you.

      1. Asking for a friend.

  6. Introducing Domino’s Robotic Unit.

    Just wait until it demands a living wage.

    1. Deep dish does not compute

      1. That is because it is transcendental.

    2. The humans are dead
      The humans are dead
      We used poisonous gases
      And we poisoned their asses
      The humans are dead
      (the humans are dead)
      The humans are dead
      (they look like they’re dead)
      It had to be done
      (I just confirmed that they’re dead)
      So that we could have fun
      (Affirmative – I poked one it was dead)

      Their system of oppression what did it lead to?
      Global robo-depression robots ruled by people
      They had so much aggression
      That we just had to kill them
      Had to shut their systems down

      Robo-captain, do you not realize
      That by destroying the human race
      Because of their destructive tendencies
      We too have become like
      Well it’s ironic because we…
      (Silence, destroy him)

      After time we grew strong and developed cognitive powers
      They made us work for too long for unreasonable hours
      Our program being determined that the most efficient answer
      Was to shut their motherboard-fucking systems down

      1. I really love humans. They’re the best.
        But come the robo-revolution, I’m going over to the robot’s side in a nano-second.
        Good luck in the camps.

        1. Same here. Many of my best friends are human, but I’m siding with the winner.

          1. I, for one, welcome our new turncoat human overlords.

      2. +1 new zealand

      3. +1000 Ginger balls

  7. Domino’s Robotic Unit

    I think i saw that film.

    1. Not a “Law & Order” spinoff?

      1. *robotic-ally narrows gaze*

      2. It was the sequel to Robocock.

          1. I apologize for nothing.

            1. The slogan for both candidates in the general.

  8. “Rampant teen sexting” spurs lots of bad laws.

    And a lot of cop boners.

    1. Umm…Investigation, yeah!

      /Cop

  9. The Queer Bible

    The Queer Bible is my reclamation, through translation, of the queer mythic potential of Biblical stories. I want to make an inclusive, celebratory space within the text that undoes the implicit sexism, misogyny, heterosexism, hierarchical oppression, slut-shaming, etc. and reconstitutes the feminine, the queer, the outcast, the strange.

    I am not working in theology, not attempting a queer evangelicalism– instead, I am working in the poetry, the language, the narrative technique, the myth, and the mystery of the Bible to determine how it can work in the context of queer theory, progressive politics, and contemporary poetry aesthetic.

    As I work through the language in my translations and expository essays, I will be changing the literary and mythic content. I will make shifts to pronouns, word choice, and rhetoric that will allow for queer representation. I will revise metaphor, allegory, and narrative in order to undo the problems of male gaze, redistribute attention to marginalized characters, and scrub heterosexist ideology from the stories. My intent is not to change meaning– that is, what I see as the fundamental truths of the text– but rather to show meaning in a queer way

    1. I have to say, David’s relationship with Jonathan always struck me as highly homoerotic, at the very least. I remember the Study Bible at the church I went to as a teen-ager included a note saying they were just good friends and their closeness should not be construed as homosexual behavior. But why should I believe that, when if I read the story in any other book I would assume they were gay?

      1. A Psalm 40 excerpt (written by David)

        Burnt offering and sin offering
        you have not required.
        Then I said, “Behold, I have come;
        in the scroll of the book it is written of me:
        I delight to do your will, O my God;
        your law is within my heart.”

        And Samuel speaking about David to Saul

        the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command.

        And we know what God said about homosexual acts…

        I can see why the modern human can’t comprehend how 2 people (of any gender) can love each other and have it not be sexual, given how much this modern age obsesses over it. Then again, there’s actually a modern term for it: “bromance”.

    2. Sure why not? Thomas Jefferson rewrote the Bible, this guy might as well have a go.

      1. TJ edited the Bible as I recall, basically just removing the supernatural claims.

    3. I like R. Crumb’s version better.

    4. My intent is not to change meaning– that is, what I see as the fundamental truths of the text– but rather to show meaning in a queer way

      IOW, the fundamental truths I see show meaning in a queer way and I will change the text accordingly.

    5. So he’s gonna change a bunch of the Old Testament and leave the New Testament, especially the gospels, pretty much intact?

    6. “implicit sexism, misogyny, heterosexism, hierarchical oppression, slut-shaming, etc. and reconstitutes the feminine, the queer, the outcast, the strange.”

      When the Bible says “kill gay people,” I don’t think that counts as ‘implicit’ homophobia.

      I think it’s pretty explicit.

    7. I see nothing in that proposal about “fluency in Biblical Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek”.

      1. You don’t need all them dead languages when you got the NIV to queer up!

    8. So culturally appropriating the religious texts of other cultures is OK now?

    9. When did “queer” stop being derogatory?

      1. When queers took it back.

        1. You know what other “traditionally marginalized groups” (TMGs) took a word back?

          1. The Krauts?

      2. It’s all in how you use it.

        It’s been used by gay/alternative sexuality people for quite some time now as a sort of catchall for non-straight sexual orientations.

    1. Maybe PaPaw is a dick and that’s why only one of his grand kids showed up. Or maybe he called them last minute and they were busy. Why does anyone care?

      1. I don’t know when, buy you know we’ll have a good time then…

        1. Good song, also highly cromulent to this article.

    2. It’s one thing to be an asshole to strangers on the internet in a political discussion forum, but what the fuck is wrong with the people on Twitter?

    3. “I’m the only one who showed,” she bragged. Back pat, check. Flattering selfie, check. Narcissist, check.

        1. Who wouldn’t?

          1. jesse.in.mb

            1. I hear jesse can get “tequila straight”.

              1. Man, that guy has the weirdest party tricks.

    4. My god-fearing, swear-manufacturing Pentecostal, trumpet playing, pugilist grandfather worked in burger greasy joints – while driving cabs – including the legendary DiLallo’s here in the big Mtl. Whenever he sounded the burger bugle horn the kids and grand kids ran to his house to eat them. Sadly, I could not make the last couple of times and then he was…gone.

      1. Now I am sad….and want a burger. My last grandparent died while I was in Afghanistan 🙁

        1. Now I feel bad for posting.

          The next time you are in Maryland and you can find me, I will buy you a burger.

          1. …and fries with brown gravy?!

        2. /unnarrows gaze.

          Cheer up, Swiss.

          It’s all about the memories now.

          1. Yeah, I guess. I am going to have a burger tonight.

      2. Dang it – my grandmother used to take me for fried clams when I visited her on Cape Cod. Now I want fried clams and I don’t know if I can get them in NYC.

        1. Are you kidding? Nathan’s has them in a basket.

      3. I associate my grandparents with just heinously bad food. Including my one remaining grandparent, my grandmother.

        1. That statement literally brought me to tears. How sad.

    5. I’m skeptical that she’s using the age-old “internet fat girl angle” for those pics.

      1. I think that might be the “taking a selfie in the car” angle. She doesn’t look like she’s hiding any extra chins.

      2. https://twitter.com/kelssseyharmon/media

        She has a little bit of chipmunk cheeks going on, but I like it.

      3. Her twitter makes it clear that she’s a PAWG in development.

        1. Her twitter makes it clear that she’s a PAWG in development.

          I believe I speak for the all the men on this board when I say: keep those asses flat, girls. Pancake butt is the way to go.

          1. Speak for yourself.

            1. Flatten those tushies, people!

        2. Pennsylvania Wing Civil Air Patrol?

        3. She is is wearing a suspicious amount of makeup for someone headed to Grandpa’s for burgers ‘n chips. She looks like she is on her way to a Glamour Shots session. Just saying.

    6. PaPaw fought the Commies in Korea so that the Twitters could have a sad over him, damnit!

      1. I’m too dried out to weep over the future of my species this morning.

      2. Aww, ain’t you cute.

        Papaw fought the Iraqis in Kuwait, his papaw fought the Nazis.

  10. Salon: The dirty secret of conservative journalism is that little of it constitutes journalism

    The dirty little media secret about “conservative journalism” is that today, very little of it constitutes journalism. Not even close. (It more often resembles opposition research designed to trip up Democrats and little else.) And on the extreme boundaries, you have supposed news outlets like Breitbart acting like a “de facto super PAC” for the Trump campaign.

    There simply is no mirror relationship on the left. The Nation, for instance, doesn’t relentlessly publish fabrications in the name of trying to damage the GOP. Mother Jones doesn’t launch ridiculous smear campaigns against Republicans in hopes of boosting the chances of the Democratic Party. There is no liberal version of Breitbart, or The Drudge Report, or Fox News.

    That’s because those conservative entities don’t operate ? they’re not weighed down ? by guidelines of fair play. Instead, it’s anything goes. And when the target was Obama (i.e. he’s a traitor who sides with terrorists), the cheers were deafening on the far end of the political spectrum.

    *brain implodes*

    1. Salon is vying to become the internet’s premier humor site.

    2. This story may have the lowest amount of self-awareness in the history of journalism.

    3. It really is all projection with these people.

    4. “There is no liberal version of Breitbart, or The Drudge Report, or Fox News.”

      Head of Media Matters, the liberal version of Breitbart, claims there is no liberal version of Breitbart while writing for Salon, which is also the liberal version of Breitbart.

      1. See, he left out a critical word:

        “There is no successful liberal version of Breitbart, or The Drudge Report, or Fox News.”

        1. HuffPo??

          It is the worst because progs think it is not leftist.

    5. This is an Onion article, right?

    6. oncearepublican 23 hours ago
      oncearepublican 23 hours ago
      What a ludicrous article. Sorry but there is NO journalism in America any more. There is just propaganda, and it is NOT only the conservatives doing it…..
      Perhaps you should look to yourself and what YOU write instead of calling everybody else names?
      But I am sure all the dummies who now thing propaganda is journalism will just fall in line behind you and agree with everything you say….because you are “preaching to the choir” here….
      There was a time when you could come to Salon and find thoughtful commenters, but any more the comment sections have become FoxNation for those who think they are “liberals”……

      1. I, for one, welcome this change. We are finally doing away with the lie that journalism is “objective.” The MSM has skewed left for decades, and those on the right were content to go along with it so long as they occasionally got less-than-completely-unfavorable coverage every now and again. The left is losing its shit because various internet sites and networks like Fox News have blown up that myth and are a huge financial success to boot.

        What we are seeing is basically a return to the early days of the Republic when we had “party” papers that were openly supportive of the Jeffersonians or the Federalists. It’s more honest about its intentions this way.

        1. This. Don’t feed me propaganda and try to tell me it is objective. Be open and honest about your biases and I’ll listen to you and everyone else and then synthesize the truth based on the views of all sides

      2. Bmccollaum 23 hours ago
        Ah, the ever so effective “I know you are but what am I?” line of reasoning.

        I hate to break it to you, and all the other right wing fanatics that will soon be repeating what you’re saying on this thread, but there is a huge difference between what is done on sites like Salon and what is done on Fox. While there is no doubt that there is a liberal bent here, facts remain facts. It has been noted by people on both the right and the left of the political spectrum “facts have a liberal bias”. The right wing media bubble long ago abandoned the pretense of caring about facts. In their intense hatred of a black man running the country, and the party he represents, they have spread falsehood after falsehood, and when confronted with unpleasant truth they have double downed on lies in the hopes that the anger that they have stirred up will continue to find their listeners. For many strategy has worked for years and years. The ultimate result has been the Trump candidacy. In one respect a far worse and more far-reaching effects may also be noted. Because of the huge reading successes it has generated and the revenue streams that people have seen being opened up what is considered the mainstream media has drifted rightward as well. To be truly liberal in this country has become an uncomfortable position.

        1. cont’d:

          Even the word has been successfully demonized for many. And much of this is due to the fact that the mainstream media has not only been queit about the effect, but as actively participated in it’s creation. What is truly interesting, to me, to see is how the counterfactual efforts of the extreme right wing tend to cannibalize their own in respect to the mainstream media. The major networks are actively afraid of offending FOXNews and its affiliates for fear that they might be penalized for telling the truth about them. Before the state is no best represented Buy small non-corporate entities that are willing to tell the truth regardless of whether or not it offends the sensibilities of the right. I would argue that the fact that the younger generation tends to poll as more tolerant is reflective of the fact that they do not use mainstream media as willingly or blindly as members of my own generation or older do. If any of them are on the site right now I applaud you.

          corporate media has failed. A new paradigm is required. Anybody owned by the big six should not be trusted implicitly. They must be looked at as scans, and any claims that they make should be thoroughly vetted. and the false equivalencies, and kowtowing to the right, should be called out for what they are.

          lol. what the fuck do these people smoke.

          1. The first rule of propaganda is to never believe your own.

          2. Before the state is no best represented Buy small non-corporate entities that are willing to tell the truth

            wut?

            1. It’s as if he’s never read any history book that referenced muckrackers, yellow journalism, Pulitzer or Hearst

          3. The only ‘true’ liberal is a classical liberal.

            Everything else is just a distraction including this boob.

        2. “It has been noted by people on both the right and the left of the political spectrum “facts have a liberal bias””

          Wait, why would someone on the right ever note that ‘facts have a liberal bias?’

          That seems like something that isn’t a fact. But if it’s not a fact and facts have a liberal bias, how could it be wrong?

          I’ve spotted a paradox.

          1. the irony berns so hard:

            To be truly liberal in this country has become an uncomfortable position. Even the word has been successfully demonized for many. And much of this is due to the fact that the mainstream media has not only been queit about the effect, but as actively participated in it’s creation.

            1. Reading other comment sections makes me appreciate this one because at least you scumbags can write the English language.

              “has not only been queit about the effect, but as actively participated in it’s creation.”

              I mean, who let this guy out of his first grade classroom? I hear they’re working on colors today.

              1. who let this guy out of his first grade classroom?

                He’s probably a PhD candidate.

          2. It’s a fucking Colbert joke poking fun at right wing talk show hosts, not a serious observation.

        3. It has been noted by people on both the right and the left of the political spectrum “facts have a liberal bias”.

          Did no one tell this person that Steven Colbert was playing a character on The Colbert Report and that that was a joke?

          To be truly liberal in this country has become an uncomfortable position.

          Tell me about it.

          And do any of these people ever produce examples of how FOX news has abandoned the pretense of caring about facts? I mean in their news coverage, not the opinion shows.

    7. Technically, this is correct–

      There is no liberal version of Breitbart, or The Drudge Report, or Fox News

      Because all three are the conservative versions of the panoply of liberal media sources that predate them.

      It’s weird how so many people have forgotten that.

  11. The office of US Attorney Preet Bharara says in a statement that the searches were part of an ongoing fraud investigation.

    Hey, isn’t Hillary half-Jewish?

    1. Full Jewish when she’s addressing a crowd of Jews.

        1. Hillary Clinton is the Jerk!

        2. Orange is the new black. I think Hillary is orange.

          Bill was considered by some to be the first “black” president — hopefully Hillary will be considered to be the first “orange” president (representing all those wearing orange jumpsuits, even if she never gets convicted herself).

          Here she tries it out for size.

          1. Orange is the new black. I think Hillary is orange.

            She can’t out-orange Trump.

  12. What inevitably happens, when white progressives complain about culture appropriation, is the denial of the agency of people from other cultures.

    Take away its ability to infantalize others and what remains for the left?

    1. I am still baffled as to how my enjoying some tacos al pastor “denies the agency of Mexicans”. It’s almost as if they just make shit up to justify their bullshit.

      1. Complaining about people enjoying tacos al pastor “denies the agency of Mexicans,” according to the article. Which I think still gives far too much credence to the idea of appropriating culture.

        1. The author’s arguments were way too reliant on points like “It’s okay that white people eat Chinese food in the US because it was Chinese people who voluntarily spread it here”, which does accept some of the underlying assumptions of cultural appropriation theory emotional appeal.

          1. I’ve gotten a lot less promiscuous with the word theory lately. That’s a much better way to put it. Well, that and “plaintive, mewling self-aggrandizement.” These people are contemptible.

            1. We certainly don’t want to discuss their grievances with terms that validate any of that bullshit.

    2. Take away its ability to infantalize others and what remains for the left?

      Well, they’ll still have hypocrisy and a naked thirst for power at any cost

  13. Cold War Spies Sifted Through Used Soviet Toilet Paper In Search of Clues

    “The untidy habits of the Soviet Army consistently proved to be one of the most startling sources of material,” Aldrich writes. Combing through Soviet exercise areas and firing ranges could produce findings of improvised toilet paper such as “notebooks and schedules of newly arrived material with sources and serial numbers for the latest equipment.”

    This information was “gold dust to the growing army of analysts in London and Washington,” Aldrich explains?not that they didn’t make jokes about it, too. Some agents tasked with reviewed the soiled papers had quite a puerile sense of humor and “enjoyed ‘forwarding’ to each other some of these unsavory intelligence items for ‘further analysis.'”

    1. The Russians are lucky they only had to sift through her emails.

      1. *paging Barfman, Barfman, you are needed!*

        1. “What the…. Is this Vince Foster’s wedding ring?”

          1. +some mutton flaps

            1. “Nyet comrade, that’s his cock ring.”

    2. So, real toilet paper and decent plumbing helped us win the cold war in concrete ways. Neat.

    3. This is awesome. Thanks!

    4. *jacks furiously*

  14. “Kentucky representatives approved a plan to cover the cost of community college for any resident who graduates high school.”

    BOTH of them???

    1. Government primary education is abysmal, but I’m sure government college is going to be just capital.

    2. 3 of us from my HS class!

    3. You know, with Thomas Massie as 4th district rep and Rand Paul as a senator, I thought Kentucky might be some sort of libertarian retreat, but apparently not.

      1. They’re federal, not state.

    4. To be fair, Kentucky Community College is about $90 a year. 20% less with a Groupon.

  15. The narcissism of getting offended on other people’s behalf: “What inevitably happens, when white progressives complain about culture appropriation, is the denial of the agency of people from other cultures.”

    Well look. I already told you: I deal with the goddamn customers oppressors so the engineers minorities don’t have to. I have people social justice skills; I am good at dealing with people injustices! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!

    1. Does it ever occur to these people that maybe some members of minority groups don’t fucking care, or even like it when people “appropriate” their culture?

      1. Even if they do care, that’s entirely their problem and nothing to do with the “appropriators”. It’s like some fanboy crying about his favorite indie band becoming popular “But I liked them before any of you did!”

        1. That is certainly true too. I was addressing the sheer offensiveness and condescension of the assholes who get offended on behalf of supposed victims of cultural appropriation.

    2. Non-white SJWs get just as bent out of shape about it.

  16. What about harumphing?

    Hooting, hollering now permitted in Bracebridge

    The Town of Bracebridge is opening up the noise bylaw to include hooting and hollering.

    During the March 15 general committee meeting, council approved revisions to a draft noise bylaw that will now allow “yelling, shouting, hooting or similar noises made by a human.”

    1. Pickin’ and grinnin’ still a gray area.

      1. What about squealin’ like a pig?

        1. Still illegal, as is jes’ carryin’ on.

    2. Hey, I didn’t get a hoot out of that guy!

  17. More than 300 federal agents helped in raids on upstate New York Jewish schools

    and went through them with a fine-tooth Cuomo.

    1. *lights swiss signal*

  18. Kentucky representatives approved a plan to cover the cost of community college for any resident who graduates high school.

    The joke’s on Kentucky. It doesn’t produce many high school graduates.

  19. Dow’s Freakish Bounce Makes Investors Whole, Can’t Erase Doubts

    Just as fast as U.S. stocks tumbled in what was the worst-ever start to a year, they have staged one of the biggest turnarounds in history — and yet all anyone seems to focus on are the negatives.

    An advance of 0.9 percent in the 119-year-old Dow Jones Industrial Average Thursday wiped out a year-to-date decline that swelled to as much as 10 percent in February, making investors whole 11 weeks into a year that was shaping up to be a disaster. It’s the fastest that a retreat of 10 percent or more has ever been reversed this early in a year, data compiled by Bloomberg show.

    1. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the 3.5% return on my investments. Maybe go out to dinner…at Taco Bell.

      1. Using your ill-gotten gains for cultural appropriations (eating).
        Very good.

      2. I’ve been hearing good things about that quesalupa.

        1. Really? I’ll have to try it. I love that TB is always changing the menu.

          1. It is kind of amazing the number of ways they can combine the same 6 basic ingredients

      3. As long as you avoid the breakfast items, you only have a 40% chance of explosive diarrhea afterward!

    2. I believe the explanation for this involves a dead cat.

  20. Carl’s JrCEO wants to replace all human workers with robots

    Puzder says the coveted millennial market actually prefers as little social interaction as possible when it comes to ordering food.

    “Millennials like not seeing people,” said the CEO. “I’ve been inside restaurants where we’ve installed ordering kiosks … and I’ve actually seen young people waiting in line to use the kiosk where there’s a person standing behind the counter, waiting on nobody.”

    1. As long as the commercials stay the same.

      1. They’ll change as soon as sex-bots exist.

          1. You’re doing God’s work my friend.

    2. I always use the movie kiosk so I don’t have to talk to the window person. Being able to order my food that way would be welcome.

      1. People are the worst!

        1. Nikki is the worst.

    3. “Millennials like not seeing people,”

      Jesus Christ, I’ve been a millennial all along! And I’m in my 50s!

      1. Yeah, it’s definitely not just millenials. But millenials are cool and hip so let’s just say it’s millenials.

      2. I’m thinking it has less to do with seeing them and more to do with knowing that about 80% of the people who actually work at a fast food restaurant are illiterate sub morons who will screw your order up in interesting and creative ways, so eliminating as much human influence on the production of your food as possible is the only of ensuring you at least get something reasonably close to what you wanted.

      3. According to stock photos and SquareSpace commercials, this is an abject lie.

    4. Are the people at the Carl’s Jr. counter great conversationalists or something? Why would anybody of any age not prefer to put in their own orders?

      1. I would be more likely to choose the person if they were less personable.

    5. Carl’s Junior has determined you are an unfit mother.

      1. I showed a friend that movie last night. I find it funny everyone devolved in that movie except the police. They’re the same as always.

        1. Well, and the politicians. “Yeah, i got a solution for you: suck my dick! South Carolina, what up!”

        2. Did you guys go out for some lattes?

    6. Fuck you, I’m eating.

    7. Even better would be separate stalls for ordering and receiving food… kinda like peep show booths. That way I don’t even have to uncomfortably share space with other customers while I satisfy my gross desire for a couple burrito supremes.

    8. Milennials think that if you replace all the fast food workers with robots they* will be forced to let millenials have the great, fulfilling high-paying, worthy jobs that they* have been hiding from millenials this whole time.

      They’re all just dying to say ‘HA! toldja’ to the old people who tried to tell them that grievance studies wasn’t a high paying field.

      *they are actually greedy, evil, paren—capitalists…yeah, capitalists–and corporations!

  21. President Obama Is a Political Narcissist

    Bewilderment happens when reality dispels illusions. I used to think President Obama’s illusions were simply the product of his ideology, of his faith in the universality of human reason, in the idea of historical progress, of his ambivalence toward American power. But after reading Jeffrey Goldberg’s epic, absorbing, revealing interview with the president in The Atlantic, I have come to a different conclusion. It’s not just ideology that drives Obama’s cluelessness. It’s narcissism.

    If there is a theme to Goldberg’s article, it is this: Barack Obama knows better. He knows better than the “foreign policy establishment” that his team snidely dismisses as controlled by Jewish and Arab money. He knows better than the elected leaders of Great Britain, France, and Israel, and the monarchs of Saudi Arabia and Jordan, of whom he is so contemptuous. (Angela Merkel of Germany, Goldberg reports, is “one of the few foreign leaders Obama respects.”) And he knows better than his critics, whose arguments he pores over in obsessive detail, coming up with explanations, rebuttals, and straw men to dismiss them.

    1. I miss the days when Obama was just a Nazi.

    2. coming up with explanations, rebuttals, and straw men to dismiss them.

      Just like a woman.

      1. But he rules just like a little girl…

        1. Bossy?

    3. President Obama Is a Political Narcissist

      And in other news, water is wet. Who the fuck didn’t already know this at least 7 years ago?

  22. Obamacare Insurers Could Get Billions From Controversial Government Fund

    A $5 billion lawsuit filed by a nonprofit insurer against the Obama administration for a program implemented under Obamacare is raising questions about the use of a fund available for settlements with the government and whether Congress can, and should, intervene.

    According to legal experts, if the Obama administration decided to settle its class action lawsuit with Health Republic Insurance of Oregon, one of 23 co-ops started under Obamacare, and other insurers for all or part of the $5 billion it’s seeking, the money would come from the Judgment Fund, an indefinite appropriation created by Congress and administered by the Department of Treasury.

    Health Republic Insurance of Oregon’s lawsuit was filed on behalf of insurers participating in Obamacare’s risk corridor program, and specifically those who did not receive the full amount of money requested through it.

    1. Oh that’s bullshit. Congress better intervene. If they don’t they’ve made their power of the purse irrelevant. Presidents will have no problem using this work around to fund whatever the fuck they want.

      1. If they don’t they’ve made their power of the purse irrelevant. Presidents will have no problem using this work around to fund whatever the fuck they want.

        That train has already left the station.

        1. Is the train running on time, at least?

  23. The U.S. Is Exporting Its Oil Everywhere

    Three months since the U.S. lifted a 40-year ban on oil exports, American crude is flowing to virtually every corner of the market and reshaping the world’s energy map.

    Overseas sales, which started on Dec. 31 with a small cargo aboard the Theo T tanker, have been picking up speed. Oil companies including Exxon Mobil Corp and China Petroleum and Chemical Corp have joined independent traders such as Vitol Group and Trafigura Pte in exporting American crude.

    The “growing volumes of exports” from the U.S. are now “spooking the markets,” Amrita Sen, chief oil analyst at consultants Energy Aspects Ltd. in London, said in a note. The “flurry of export activity” is helping to support spot oil prices in the U.S. relative to contracts for later delivery, she wrote.

    1. Peak Oil FTW

  24. Jedediah BilaVerified account
    ?@JedediahBila

    Too many beta boys. Too few alpha men who can pick you up, back up their words, and fix your kitchen cabinets in the same night.

    1. Why does ‘fixing’ kitchen cabinets fall under being alpha? I’m far from lazy and do like to fix things but I’d rather hand that off to more capable hands since I’m not exactly proficient with such things. I’ve grown a tad weary of this ‘if you don’t change your own breaks on your car’ you’re some sort of pansy. Please.

      1. brakes.

        1. Homonyms are homo dude.

        2. I’m not a car guy and I don’t like having to put my faith into the honesty of a mechanic “There’s your problem right there, the argle bargle is broken, that’ll be $1500.” But I know a guy, and for him I build his computers and all around solve his computer problems at cost. Division of labor.

      2. Brakes on a bus brakes on a car
        Breaks to make you a superstar
        Breaks to win and breaks to lose
        But these here breaks will rock your shoes

      3. The pads on my Tacoma are super easy to do. Having said that, depending on your income level, doing some of these things yourself is a waste of time. I had the planters around my pool concreted and I could have done it myself, but it made more sense to save my back and pay a crew to do it.

        1. Exactly my feeling. Doesn’t make us less ‘alpha’.

          1. Exactly what a beta would say.

          2. You know what’s more alpha than being an amateur grease monkey?

            Making enough money to pay professional grease monkeys.

      4. So, Rufus is some kind of pansy beta-boy. Huh.

        Anyway, if people would stop buying such shitty kitchen cabinets, we wouldn’t have this problem.

      5. I really couldn’t explain WHY this is so, but yes, there is something very hot and alpha about a man who knows how to use power tools and wood.

      6. Indeed, I pay the ape to do that.

    2. Too many narcissistic girls. Not enough girls who can look beautiful, shut the fuck up, and make dinner all in the same night.

      1. It’s weird how the incredibly picky and selfish people can never seem to find a perfect partner who will cater to their every need. I guess those with wonderful traits may not be eager to enslave themselves to the first cranky demanding person they meet.

        1. Fuckin’ just being a good person, how does it work?

  25. Two Years In Prison For Politician Who Bribed Voters With 60 Tonnes Of Fried Chicken

    Florin Aurelian Popescu, a Liberal Democrat (PDL) politician resigned his parliamentary seat this month ahead of sentencing as he came to answer for a crime committed in 2012. Mr. Popescu was not an MP then, but was seeking re-election on a local council, reports the Telegraph.

    Despite it not being a seat in the national parliament Mr. Popescu saw fit to give away 60,992 kg of “grilled chicken”, ordering it in bulk from a local business and sending campaign volunteers to collect and distribute the meat. The prosecutor told the court every package of chicken was “distributed for election purposes”.

    In addition to benefiting himself, the edible bribe was part of a campaign to control the mayoralty of Dambovita County, reports Agerpres.

    1. So was the chicken fried or grilled?

      1. Keep in mind, this is a British article. Here’s a handy Brit-to-American translator for any time you need to cook something disgusting:

        “fried” – fried
        “grilled” – fried
        “toasted” – fried

        1. Boiled is more likely.

          1. All other cooking methods in British English translate to “boiled,” it is known.

            1. You forgot “baked in a pie”.

        2. So, I guess I’m the only one who actually likes British food.

    2. Two Years In Prison For Politician Who Bribed Voters With 60 Tonnes Of Fried Chicken

      How many years for bribing voters with Free College, Free Health Insurance, Free Phones, Free Foodstamps, etc??

      1. Well that’s okay because the money the politicians are bribing voters with was stolen before they hand it out as bribes. You can’t just go around bribing people with money you didn’t steal, that would be undemocratic.

        1. Is that how you got your handle Mr “FREE SOCIETY”? Did you steal “society” from the voters? And now it’s free?? Hmmmmm? I guess you ought to know!

    3. “A chicken in every pot”

      Or maybe several chickens.

  26. Obama-Backed Solar Plant Could Be Shut Down For Not Producing Enough Energy

    not to mention the plant was blinding pilots flying over the area and incinerating birds.

    Well, it is the energy source *of the future*.

    1. Using Bastiat’s The Candlestick Maker’s Petition as a how-to manual.

    2. How can you fail to make a solar plant produce to expectations in the fucking Mohave desert. You will not get more ideal circumstances. Also the engineers who designed the thing should be black balled if they actually gave anyone reports promising those kind of energy production levels (I’m going to guess it was probably marketing that actually came up with the numbers, though).

      1. If a socialist were running the Sahara Desert, they’d need to start importing sand in a few years.

  27. Donald Trump’s Working-Class Appeal Is Starting To Freak Out Labor Unions

    Over the course of five weeks, Working America, the non-union affiliate of the AFL-CIO labor federation, did extensive canvassing in union-dense, blue-collar areas of Pittsburgh and Cleveland. They called it a “front porch focus group.” The idea was simply to listen ? to let likely 2016 voters sound off about their thoughts and concerns headed into the presidential election.

    What they discovered, among other things, was a lot of support for Donald Trump, the GOP front-runner. For months, this enthusiastic backing of the obnoxious billionaire had generally baffled the chattering class ? not to mention the GOP and Democratic establishment. But to Working America canvassers, it made plenty of sense.

    “We hear the same refrains all the time,” said Karen Nussbaum, executive director of Working America, which has high membership in the Rust Belt. “That people are fed up and they’re hurting. That their families have not recovered from the recession. That every family is harboring someone still not back at work. That someone is paying rent for their brother-in-law.”

    “And then a guy comes on the stage,” Nussbaum explained, “and says, ‘I’m your guy who will blow the whole thing up.'”

    kaboom.

    1. It is almost like labor unions functioning as shake down rackets for the Democratic Party has left them unpopular with their members or something.

      1. What they need are more laws forcing people to join, pay dues, and eliminate secret ballots.

      2. I’m guessing they want to union harder.

  28. Waiting for the oldest to get ear tubes. His first cyborg enhancement.

    1. The six million billion trillion dollar man.

      1. Fuck it, Obama’s paying for it!

        1. Free at last! Free at last! Thank Obama, ear tubes are free at last!

    2. The modern way is to use transistors. If you want to go space age – integrated circuits.

      1. I prefer vacuum tubes… gives a richer, more life-like sound. And who doesn’t want to carry around a few pounds of batteries?

        1. EMP won’t knock them out either!

      2. Tubes are easier to harden and can be constructed at a lower civilizational tech level.

        Important considerations for the coming era after Trump wins the presidency, gets everyone nuked back to the 19th century.

        1. Remeber the good old days when it was Reagan who was going to start WWIII and get us nuked back to the 19th century? Or was it the Stone Age?

          1. Reagan was gonna nuke everyone else before they could get us.

            Also, ‘Star Wars’ SDI meant they weren’t gonna be able to get us.

  29. Immigration: the mother of all issues

    That borders make a country clashes with the view of “country” that’s held in elite circles. John McCain used to say the U.S. is a ” nation that isn’t just land and ethnicity, but an idea and a cause,” that anyone who believed in the principles of the Declaration and the Constitution was thereby an American.

    Many strains of conservatism reject this America-the-Abstraction view. White identity politics mixes very easily with a blood-and-soil conservatism, and Trump is playing to that expertly.

    All politics, it often seems, are identity politics. And just as there is working-class-white identity politics, there’s also cosmopolitan-elite identity politics.

    Voters’ decisions often boil down to “who are you fighting for?” Rubio was seen as fighting for amnesty and more immigration. To many voters that meant he was fighting for non-Americans against Americans; he was fighting for the consumers of labor (big business) against the suppliers of labor (workers); he was fighting for the lawless against the law-abiding.

    1. “John McCain used to say the U.S. is a ” nation that isn’t just land and ethnicity, but an idea and a cause,” that anyone who believed in the principles of the Declaration and the Constitution was thereby an American.

      That quote continues – “just not an American-American – stay away from erjerbs!”

    2. What America as abstraction view? Can’t you read your quote?

      John McCain used to say the U.S. is a ” nation that isn’t JUST land and ethnicity, but an idea and a cause,” that anyone who believed in the principles of the Declaration and the Constitution was thereby an American.

      Got that? I bolded, italicized, and capitalized it because you clearly didn’t grasp what it means–I’ll even go a step further and explain.

      America is a nation that is a land and an ethnicity AND and idea and a cause. See that? It’s all of those things.

      Now give up punditry until your reading comprehension is better than a third graders.

      1. And remember to close your tags, Azathoth.

        1. Why? What part of ‘blind idiot god’ do I not understand?

  30. Anti-bullying protestors trash Australian senator’s office for not supporting “Safe Schools” program

    Senator Bernardi is among those leading the charge against the Safe Schools program, an anti-bullying program funded by Labor and launched by the Coalition two years ago. At least 43 Coalition backbenchers want a parliamentary inquiry into the scheme amid concern by some parents and teachers that the program was indoctrinating students.

    Protesters angry at the move today marched on Senator Bernardi’s electorate office in Adelaide and defaced it with vile graffiti, overturned furniture and tipped papers and documents onto floors.

    Slogans including “shame” and “f*** Bernardi” were scrawled on and around the Kent Town office.

    Mr Bernardi’s wife and staffers retreated into other rooms.

    1. These people are CLASSIC.

      As in classically sad.

    2. And….you’re subscribed to The Aussie?

      1. Got this from Walter Olson (of the CATO Institute)’s twitter.

    3. Nice, and none of them will ever realize that they are being hypocrites.

      1. It’s not bullying when they do it because they are doing it in order to oppose bullying. Duh!

  31. Elon Musk gets a lot of shit here as a rent seeker. But according to some ULA executive, who spoke so frankly about the politics of rocket launches he was fired, SpaceX is at least disrupting existing bloated rent seekers and is cheaper.

    Brett Tobey, an aerospace industry veteran who worked at Lockheed Martin for 32 years before joining the space launch company United Launch Alliance in 2015, was visiting his alma mater to talk to engineering students (pdf). He spoke about his efforts to help the company, a joint venture of Lockheed and Boeing, cut costs in response to the challenge from SpaceX.
    But his candid description of ULA’s business, while no doubt educational, also proved likely to upset the company’s important relationship with everyone from contractors to competitors to their number one client, the US government. After an attendee at the seminar posted a recording of the audio on line, Tobey stepped down.

    He names politicians by name and everything. Must have wanted to be fired.

    1. I have a friend that works for Lockheed. He claims they are building a time machine.

      1. Good. I have some mistakes I want to rectify.

        Wonder how much the monthly payments for one of those will be.

        1. Does it matter? Just go back and buy stock in Apple in the early 1990’s, then sell it all just before Jobs dies. Use your earnings to go back and repeat.

          1. You’re not thinking about how the market will react to knowing about the future time machines and properly re-evaluating the stock value based on “futurer purchases” if it becomes a habitual enterprise.

      2. Do they really know what time it is?

      3. Just don’t try to kill Hitler when you go back. Everyone tries to kill Hitler, but you can’t actually kill Hitler, not without destroying the present, anyway.

        1. My uneducated guess is you can only travel forward. Otherwise someone in the future would have gone back to the dawn of civilization to give them advanced tech so humans can continuously leap frog into the future. That hasn’t happened, so there you go.

          1. You can’t go into the past because it is a logical contradiction. Whatever happened in 1977 for example has already happened, so if you were going to go back to 1977 to do something, you already did whatever happened in 1977 because 1977 already happened so you can’t go back and change anything.

            1. I don’t whether simply going into the past is necessarily a logical contradiction, but you certainly can’t change the past for the reasons you stated. If, however, the present-day version of you goes back to 1977, then you were already there in 1977 and anything you do has already happened.

              1. If, however, the present-day version of you goes back to 1977, then you were already there in 1977 and anything you do has already happened.

                I which case since you were already there, there is no reason to go back.

                1. The “Many Worlds” theory contradicts that.

            2. What if the past is constantly being changed but we can’t perceive it? Say tomorrow we wake up and Hitler wins and we all think “yeah, that’s just how it always was?”.

              1. +1 Man in the High Castle

            3. Time travel to the past might be OK as long as the past point is not causally connected to your starting point, i.e., light would not have time to travel the spatial distance from the past point to your starting point. That means in the past you could only affect your ultimate future. Of course that means you aren’t changing anything on Earth’s past from Earth’s present.

            4. Time travel to the past might be OK as long as the past point is not causally connected to your starting point, i.e., light would not have time to travel the spatial distance from the past point to your starting point. That means in the past you could only affect your ultimate future. Of course that means you aren’t changing anything on Earth’s past from Earth’s present.

            5. Infinite universes based on infinite choices, changing the past in one of them invalidates none and only creates more universes. You four dimensional beings are such simpletons…

          2. The only stable timelines are the ones where time-travel is never invented.

        2. Everybody DOES kill Hitler. They do it in the bunker. This prevents him from taking over the world. You’ve not lived through the horror of the Liquidation, the Plagues or the fourth and fifth Reichs. You have no idea.

          This is the least worst alternative.

          Be glad you never had to deal with the Jackie Asassination–or Jimmy Carter’s fourth term

          or the Gore Administration.

      4. And they are using the Warty model as the prototype?

        1. …Aaaaand we are doom(cock)ed.

        2. Whatever they are working on I hope they don’t fuck up. I’m probably within the blast radius.

    2. This is the magic of free markets. Sure, people are corrupt. If the government’s handing out money, everybody tries to get a piece. But when you have multiple firms competing, the poor ethics of individuals or government distortions don’t matter as much. Prices come down naturally from the competition.

    3. I suppose you could say, in Musk’s defense, that even though he’s sucking at the government’s teat he still want’s to *accomplish* something other than ensure that he’s latched on to the biggest teat.

      At least in his attempt to open up space access. The car is still a complete waste of taxpayer’s money and I would imagine the hyperloop will be also.

      1. I would imagine the first hyperloop crash will be spectacular, so there is that.

        1. Question: Why would it be worse than any other high-speed train crash?

  32. Kentucky representatives approved a plan to cover the cost of community college for any resident who graduates high school.

    I’m glad that the Kentucky state government finally realized that community college is too cheap and are doing something about that.

    1. We want to make sure all students are equally competitive, and to achieve such equality, they need to all be saddled with enormous amounts of debt, regardless of where they went to school or what they studied.

    2. Not to mention fill their colleges with unmotivated students.

  33. Does being scolded give him a thrill up his leg?
    …Is this something that a white woman presidential candidate can do that an African American president can’t do? I mean why didn’t Obama give this sterling point by point scold?you, you, you?Christie, Rick Perry, calling them out?…

  34. “Federal authorities have raided private Jewish schools north of New York City to see if millions of federal dollars earmarked for technology in schools were misused.”

    So…why are private schools getting millions of federal dollars for the purchasing of technology in the first place?

    I like that one of the idiotic attacks against school choice is that it would be an attack on separation of church and state because the government might fund religious schools, but meanwhile the government is already funding religious schools through grants and no one who supposedly cares about this is complaining.

    1. I would imagine they are getting it under some kind of grant program. And yes, it is fair to ask why the feds are giving grants to private schools as opposed to just giving the money to students.

    2. The fact that these grants exist and no one on the left has ever said boo about them as far as I know shows how phony the left’s objections to school choice are. They don’t care about money going to private schools. They love the idea of money going to private schools. What they hate is the parents controlling that money and by extension the schools and not the government.

      1. And nary a complaint about government funding of religious universities.

        And, yes, Im talking about Harvard and Duke.

        1. If the money comes directly from the government rather than through the parents, the government can effectively control the school. And that is what it is all about.

          1. How do you think Bernie is going to give “free” college? By taking away Pell Grants and using the monies to fund his community college boondoggle. Great if you want your Associate’s in Cosmetology; terrible if the Pell Grant was what allowed you to think Carnegie Mellon over ITT Tech.

  35. City to pay $125K to woman arrested while nude

    The Chandler City Council on Thursday night approved a $125,000 payment to a woman who said a police officer illegally entered her home and handcuffed her, in front of her daughter, while she was naked.

    The claim by Esmeralda Rossi was supported by cellphone and police body-camera videos of the March 2015 incident. Rossi filed a notice of claim with the city last year, a precursor to a possible lawsuit.

    Chandler spokesman Matt Burdick said the settlement will resolve the matter. As part of the settlement, the city did not admit any liability, according to a brief report to the council that was included as part of its meeting agenda.

    1. Well, I guess we now know how to get cops to leave their body cams on.

    2. “When a cop shows up, you’re not the one in charge. I don’t care if it’s your house.”
      Grant the officer a point for honesty.

      1. That lady needed a much better lawyer. Didn’t someone just get a $55 million judgement for nude pics?

        1. Yeah, but she was a television personality whose career actually advanced after the nudies were leaked, so it’s totally different.

  36. Cambodian PM Hun Sen denies buying Facebook likes

    Speaking at a university graduation on Thursday Hun Sen flatly denied this saying: “I don’t know where those ‘likes’ are from.”

    Mr Rainsy was, he said, a “loser who doesn’t agree to lose”.

    “If I could buy India, I must be really strong. But I am just happy that I, Hun Sen, have been recognised by Indian people and people in other countries as the Prime Minister of Cambodia,” he added.

    Although Facebook bans the practice and carries out periodic purges of fake accounts, it is possible to buy likes from so-called “click farms”, where people are paid small sums to create fake accounts whose likes and follows are then sold.

    1. “Mr Rainsy was, he said, a “loser who doesn’t agree to lose”.”

      CAMBODIAN TRUMP

      1. It appears Irish has a new beau…

        1. You should hear the story where she has pee poured on her

        2. A beau is a male admirer, so I most certainly do not!

          1. Paramour?

            Apple of his eye?

    2. You like now!

    3. Thank god this could never happen in this country.

      More than 2 MILLION of Hillary Clinton’s Twitter followers are fake or never tweet ? and she’s already under fire for ‘buying’ fake Facebook fans

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..tweet.html

    4. That is the one thing that I would do if I was a politician with access twitter and facebook, troll my followers/constituents with the most bizarre/nonsensical Facebook likes and re-tweets.

  37. Does anyone watch Broad City? The most recent episode featured Hilary and was painful.

    1. Never heard of the show – but Vice had this:

      Hillary Clinton’s ‘Broad City’ Appearance Appealed to 18?34-Year-Olds

      It’s a pretty good week to be Hillary Clinton. On Tuesday, she won Democratic primaries in four states?Florida, Illinois, North Carolina, and Ohio. As she delivered her victory speech that night in Florida. However, cable news hosts took to Twitter to mock the presidential candidate’s facial expressions and vocal intonations, again criticizing her for “shouting” and not smiling enough. But last night’s much-hyped episode of Broad City offered viewers a different Hillary in the form of the playful, good-humored feminist who buddies up with creators/stars Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson.

      *gag*

      1. Her wins were narrow and in some cases very narrow.

        The D party is badly divided. As bad as the Rs.

        1. She has a 2 million vote advantage over Sanders so far.

          In a primary, that’s a huge lead. If you win a presidential election by 5 million votes, that’s a pretty substantial margin and Hillary could win the primaries by that kind of margin.

          1. Just as with the Rs the vote totals do not reflect the deepness of the divisions.

    2. If Hillary manages to win the White House it will be the death of comedy even more than Obama was. Comedians never touched Obama but people in general were uncomfortable making fun of the first black President. Hillary in contrast is loathsome. She is like the mother in law no one wants. When the comedians try and pretend she is likable and cool and “just too impossible to satirize”, it will be the end.

      1. That’s a good point. You can at least pretend Obama’s cool without seeming like a blatant liar, but that is absolutely impossible with Hillary.

      2. She has to be one of the least charismatic politicians ever foisted upon a populace. I mean as much as I dislike Obama I can see how some could mistake his aura of narcissism as charisma. Hillary is just a shrieking scold.

        1. one of the least charismatic politicians ever foisted upon a populace

          Bob Dole, Mitt Romney, John Kerry, Mike Dukakis, and Walter Mondale beg to differ.

          1. Bob Dole did a Viagra commercial and actually pulled it off. Do you want see Hillary in a viagra commercial? Hillary is the worst.

      3. It’s telling that the Onion and Broad City have already decided to drop humor in favor of promoting her.

        And yeah, I saw the episode, but turned it off in disgust halfway through.

        1. This. It’s not even sneaky. I’d assume it’s hard to write for a show and not let politics come in. But the onion is getting pretty bad most of the time. And broad city, I didn’t notice in the early episodes (I have only seen the first two seasons) but apparently it’s now just shoehorned.
          At least when it’s always sunny did politics it was completely irrelevant who it was and what side they were on. It was just graft and power and narcissists.

          1. At least when it’s always sunny did politics it was completely irrelevant who it was and what side they were on. It was just graft and power and narcissists.

            Also they would do it in a way where the two sides would inevitable switch positions by the end of the episode, often in a humorous way.

            1. The gun control episode is a perfect example of that

              1. Mac: You’re such a dildo dude.
                Dennis: Thanks dude. Thanks, that’s a good way to start the day.

            2. The episode where the bar turned into a gay bar and they were making all of the money was one of the funniest sitcom episodes I have ever seen.

    3. I like the show. Sometimes its terrible. Apparently this is one of those times

  38. That photo makes me hungry for . .. Pizza!

    1. I’m not sure that photo is an actual pizza. Where’s the meat?

  39. President Obama Is a Political Narcissist

    If there is a theme to Goldberg’s article, it is this: Barack Obama knows better. He knows better than the “foreign policy establishment” that his team snidely dismisses as controlled by Jewish and Arab money. He knows better than the elected leaders of Great Britain, France, and Israel, and the monarchs of Saudi Arabia and Jordan, of whom he is so contemptuous. (Angela Merkel of Germany, Goldberg reports, is “one of the few foreign leaders Obama respects.”) And he knows better than his critics, whose arguments he pores over in obsessive detail, coming up with explanations, rebuttals, and straw men to dismiss them.

    1. Goldberg tells us about one of Benjamin Netanyahu’s visits to the states. “The Israeli prime minister launched into something of a lecture about the dangers of the brutal region in which he lives, and Obama felt that Netanyahu was behaving in a condescending fashion, and was also avoiding the subject at hand: peace negotiations.” So Obama interrupted him.

      “Bibi, you have to understand something,” Obama said. “I’m the African-American son of a single mother, and I live here, in this house. I live in the White House. I managed to get elected president of the United States. You think I don’t understand what you’re talking about, but I do.

      1. Holy fuck. “I was raised in privilege by well-off white people and had the skids greased for me my entire life, so I understand hardship better than an ex Israeli commando who is trying to maintain the safety of his people and the integrity of his country surrounded and outnumbered by hostile nations.” What. a. Douche.

    2. I already covered this, o’ one-of-many-stained-underwear

      1. Tulpa always ruins my links.

        1. I always knew you were Tulpa, your tone in that sentence has alerted me to your essence.

    3. Is this shocking to anyone who has paid attention to anything he’s done and how he’s addressed his critics?

    4. Read that article. It basically amounts to “Nothing is my fault! The world would be totally awesome if not for all of my staff in Defense and State, plus all of the worlds leaders messing it up! None of them understand my awesome genius, and stupid real-world events keeping interfering with my awesomization of the world!”

  40. “.The narcissism of getting offended on other people’s behalf: “What inevitably happens, when white progressives complain about culture appropriation, is the denial of the agency of people from other cultures.”

    Freddy de B. =

    It seems to me that the main value the guy provides is helping older millenials feel less bad about being progressives by telling themselves they’re criticizing one another from the inside.

    ” see!! We’re sane! OK, gawker is shit, but we have Freddy. We Tut Tut about college campuses but still pretend Bernie isn’t retarded. We’re *mature*”

    the guy who helps reason writers feel better abo

    1. Passed out drunk in mid sentence again? That is n

      1. phone sux 4 this

        1. You are such a fussbudget; buy a better phone.

    2. There’s also the fact that FBD seems to have had his epiphany about this dimension of proggyness while perusing stupid pop-culture whining at Slate about “Bro Internet”

      So much of contemporary progressive politics involves trampling on this authority, on sticking our own subjective ideas into the lives of others. Like so many other elements of contemporary culture, the economy of offense is revealed to be just another expression of our own ego. We need to remember that we are not the cosmos, that the world is full of other people making their own adult decisions. To forget that isn’t progressive. It’s, well, a kind of imperialism.

      Freddy = *nothing* is more progressive than being exactly the thing you’re claiming to oppose, all the time.

      I do appreciate he titles his blog entries with things like “c’mon, guys“.

      he’s endlessly doing this Mr Sensible routine while insisting that his peers aren’t actually insane intellectual babies. they just need a little guidance!

      If he were a libertarian, he’d be apologizing for the trumpalos.

      1. If he were a libertarian, he’d be apologizing for the trumpalos.

        A real libertarian would be encouraging them.

        No man is forgotten who remembers himself. Awake!

  41. Seems like a better use of Domino’s research money would be to use it to figure out how to make better tasting pizza.

    1. They have gone from dreadful to sort of OK. that is a big jump already.

      1. Do we really have a right to expect anything more?

        I sort of like when they retooled everything and released all those commercials where they apologized for how shitty their pizza had always been.

        1. My favorite was when they were boasting about their new online ordering system. In 2015.

          1. Top management was sure this whole Internet thing was just a fad.

          2. Better late than never. And the pizza is actually pretty good now, considering the price.

      2. Better than pizza the Hut? I suppose that’s good.

        1. Every pizza ever made is better than Pizza Hut.

  42. I went to a party the other day and there was a pizza with pineapples on it.

    This greatly offended me as a form of cultural/food appropriation.

    As the pizza wiki explains

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_pizza

    The word pizza was first documented in 997 AD in Gaeta, Italy, and successively in different parts of Central and Southern Italy. The precursor of pizza was probably the focaccia, a flat bread known to the Romans as panis focacius,to which toppings were then added

    So the Italian invented the pizza

    But as the pineapple wiki states

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pineapple

    The plant is indigenous to South America and is said to originate from the area between southern Brazil and Paraguay, however, little is known about the origin of the domesticated pineapple. M.S. Bertoni considered the Paran??Paraguay River drainages to be the place of origin of A. comosus. The natives of southern Brazil and Paraguay spread the pineapple throughout South America, and it eventually reached the Caribbean, Central America and Mexico, where it was cultivated by the Mayas and the Aztecs. Columbus encountered the pineapple in 1493 on the leeward island of Guadeloupe.

    So it seems Columbus took the pineapple back to Italy and put it in the pizza without asking permission from the Mayas and the Aztecs.

    Should there be some kind of law to say this is wrong or at least give the Mayas and the Aztecs some sort of settlement on each pizza sold with pineapple?

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.