A.M. Links: Clinton vs. Trump, One-Third of Sanders Supporters Won't Vote Hillary, St. Patrick's Day

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  • According to a new poll, 33 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters "cannot see themselves voting for Hillary Clinton in November."
  • A Kurdish group has claimed responsibility for the car bomb attack in the Turkish capital city of Ankara that killed at least 35 people.
  • Hennepin County, Minnesota, an area which includes Minneapolis, will no longer use grand juries in cases dealing with police officer-involved shootings.

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NEXT: Cubs Manager Joe Maddon, on Chicago's New Tobacco Ban: 'I'm not into over-legislating the human race'

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump: "Get ready for the nastiest general election in memory."

    The only good thing about this whole mess.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I believe it. Just the thought of seeing them on my TV screen at the same time causes the bile to rise in my throat.

    2. For the LULZ

      1. Exactly. Watching the Dems unleash their usual dirty tricks on Trump will be fun.

        Watching those dirty tricks have a different effect than expected due to Trump's pre-positioning of himself and his enemies, will be wonderful.

        Watching the Donald schlong Hillary all over country will be . . . delicious. I may even watch those debates.

        1. "Watching the Donald schlong Hillary all over country ..."

          DAMNED good thang that Hilliary is WAY too old to make babies any more!!!

          Ya thought GMO-babies was scary!!!??? Just THINK of the offspring those 2 would make!

    3. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

      Hello.

      1. Top O the morning to ye lad.

    4. generic Brand

      Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump

      My social media feeds are full of people trying to inform/remind me that the Democratic race is not over yet, as if Bernie's message will beat out Shrillary's supporters in places like California and New York. More power to them; I remember when I held out a little hope that Ron Paul could deliver in a few more states or at least force a brokered convention, but they are delusional if they think that Bernie can win overall.

      "But, but... Hillary was leading at this time against Obama and look what happened!"

      Yeah, Bernie may have the message but he's not "the first ever black president."

      1. WTF

        He would however be the first ever communist president.

        1. Debatable.

        2. What, no honorable mention for Roosevelt?

          1. Judging by how eager FDR was to give the Soviets their Eastern European slave empire and how many communists he appointed to the State Department and other agency's, I think it's fair to say that FDR was a communist, or at least a fellow traveler that was not in a position to do to America what Lenin did to Russia.

            1. Rex Tugwell was certainly sympathetic ? he was a member of the 1927 Soviet Junket.

          2. Rhywun

            He was against pubsec unions - not sure if that excuses any of the rest but given the damage they are doing to us now he deserves a high-five for that if nothing else.

            1. He was against pubsec unions

              In order to preserve the integrity of the chain of command and the power of the higher levels of government over the lower levels. I see nothing altruistic about his opposition to pubsec unions, it certainly stands in contrast to his support for unions in general and his signing of the Wagner Act to give unions all the chips in negotiations.

              1. In order to preserve the integrity of the chain of command and the power of the higher levels of government over the lower levels. I see nothing altruistic about his opposition to pubsec unions

                So? And I think that preserving accountability and responsibility is a positive, not a negative. Maybe not "altruistic", but better to have it than not.

      2. Medical Physics Guy

        The argument I'm reading now is: the deep South has already voted and Hillary is not that far ahead, Bernie is very close in the Midwest, and the remaining states all favor Bernie (read: contains larger proportion of white Democrats).

      3. Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair

        There's an interesting dynamic to the Dem race. The more Hillary demonizes Bernie supporters, the more it confirms their attitude that the system itself is corrupt beyond repair, and the more likely they are to vote for Trump instead of Hillary in the general election, because his big attraction is that he is an outsider who will fix the broken system by sheer force of will, same as Bernie.

        1. They're canceled out by the crossover Republicans voting Hillary to oppose Trump.

      4. The Democrat nominee isn't decided so much by the voters.

  2. Just a thought not a sermon

    153) An infuriating editorial in the Washington Post today lamenting how we don't invest in our cities anymore. This is in response to the unprecedented system-wide shutdown of Washington's Metro yesterday to inspect frayed cables that could cause fires like the one that occurred on Monday. The author goes on and on about how the federal government's investment in infrastructure has declined for decades, with the implication being the American people are just too stingy now.

    But you know what?there's hardly a politician or electorate in the country that doesn't think we should spend more on infrastructure. The reason we don't is because the entire federal budget is crowded out now by the Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and other social programs. You want your precious subway, bridges, highways, etc., to get more money? Cut out the redistribution, because that's what's sucking up all the money!

    1. Shoot, not just that, but if you want to afford to pay for their maintenance on your subway, stop subsidizing the riders and charge what it actually costs to operate and maintain the system.

      1. Tonio

        But, but...poor peepulz.

        1. Medical Physics Guy

          No one's doing it for the poor. It is a gift to the voting middle class.

          1. Or in New Mexico's case, the wealthy legislators, lobbyists, lawyers, and hangers on who work in Santa Fe but want to live closer to the heart of the state, in Albuquerque. The Railrunner discharges a few blocks from the Roundhouse.

          2. NotAnotherSkippy

            Winner. No one is subsidized more in this country than the middle class.

      2. generic Brand

        stop subsidizing the riders and charge what it actually costs to operate and maintain the system

        But where will homeless people sleep and pee in Chicago? The alley-ways?? You MONSTER!!!

      3. Jerryskids

        I don't know how it works elsewhere, but here capital funds can be raised through a bond issue but operating costs cannot. You put a $30 million bond issue before the voters for whatever the latest boondoggle is and they say "$30 million for all that? That sounds reasonable." and they pass the bond issue. Now you've got a $30 million white elephant that costs $3 million per year in M&O, and who knows where that money's coming from? Nobody budgeted for it and the voters were too ignorant to ask that question beforehand. It's like buying a new car and thinking the $389 monthly payment is a good deal without considering what the new car does to your insurance premium or what the gas mileage or the maintenance costs are compared to your old car.

        1. Depends; is the new car a hybrid? If so, cost doesn't matter since it pays for itself. /greenie

    2. Old Man With Candy

      No, what you have to do is tax the millionaires and billionaires.

      Jesus, you're fucking stupid.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

        What about the hundredthousinaires?

        1. Heedless

          Inflation will make them millionaires soon enough.

          1. Citizen X

            +Ed Meese's face on the trillion-dollar bill

      2. Tom Bombadil

        https://youtu.be/J9-hUQKW2Zo

        Very funny comedian (Gary Gulman) clip on billionaires.

        There's a part 2 that is easy to click on.

    3. Hyperbolical

      Cut out the redistribution, because that's what's sucking up all the money!

      I don't disagree, but there's more here. Whoever is responsible for maintaining the DC train system is the culprit here--not the taxpayer. The responsible party/persons has/have been remiss in its/their duty to properly allocate financial and human resources to adequately maintain the system. The WaPo writer is just ignorant about the way things work in the real world outside of the imaginary world of publishing.

      1. Rhywun

        To be fair, way too much of the money that *is* going into infrastructure just winds up in the fat pensions of pubsec hacks. That is a political problem that needs to be fixed before the agencies can finally get a grip on functional issues. Right now every agency is just spinning in place barely able to keep shit moving because of union cons.

    4. Adans smith

      1 cities should take care of their own .
      2 D.C. is the center of waste.
      3 turn all gas tax revenue over to the states

      1. 3. Turn all gas tax revenue over to the drivers by ending it.

        1. WTF

          The gas tax would work fairly well as a user fee if it were only used for roads and bridges, instead of for susidizing mass transit and other bullshit.

          1. Adans smith

            Get the feds out of the road business,period.Too many stings and rules ,and ,then there's the 25% that comes off the top before it.goes to the states.Over head don't you know.

            1. Just a thought not a sermon

              That's a good idea. We could go back to states setting their own drinking ages, for one thing.

            2. Trigger Hippie

              Question: Wouldn't getting the Feds out of the road business be a significant step towards reducing the scope of what falls under the Commerce Clause? I seem to remember the CC being held as a cudgel over the heads of the states in order to enforce Federal law. In essence; comply with us or we'll cut off all federal funding to your state's roads.

              1. Lee G

                Federal involvement in roads was originally justified as being necessary for national defense. The technique of using funding as a lever didn't come till later, but now dominates roads, education, and everything else that they stick their noses into.

                1. Trigger Hippie

                  Sounds about right. Thanks.

              2. Wouldn't getting the Feds out of the road business be a significant step towards reducing the scope of what falls under the Commerce Clause?

                No, Wickard v Filburn states that growing home grown wheat falls under interstate commerce because if everyone grew their own wheat, the price of wheat sold interstate which is clearly covered by the CC.

        2. Medical Physics Guy

          As a cyclist, you must pay for muh roadz

    5. WTF

      Yeah, it's only fair that the rest of the country be forced to pay for people in big cities to ride the subway and travel on busses.

      1. And I want you to know that we appreciate it. The light rail you bought us is very nice.

      2. Having federal funding for roads has another fun perk, I get taxed to pay for four lane freeways and bridges in California, that I will never use and all the economic benefit goes to that part of the country at the direct expense of my part of the country.

        1. Not only that, but the State of California plus its counties and cities can divert those funds to public transit and neglect doing their part of the maintenance thereby allowing the roads and bridges to deteriorate, moving them up the Federal "emergency" maintenance priority list, making you pay for them twice!

    6. Certified Public Asshat

      Gilmore had a good link awhile ago that refuted the crumbling infrastructure argument. I can't find the link though...

    7. Idle Hands

      this is hilarious seeing how the tax payers have sunk nearly 5 billion dollars in capital expenditures and maintenance overhauls into WMATA the last 5 years and just recently spent over 120 million to build a streetcar that travels two miles from beginning to end.

      1. That's about 950 $/inch.

    8. NYC2AZ

      But, but, but, high speed rail in California will save the planet!

      /derp

    9. Zeb

      As others have said, I don't live in a fucking city, why should I "invest" in one?

      This is just my anecdote, but the infrastructure spending I see seems to mostly consist of paving the same stretches of road over and over again, while neglecting other roads completely and ignoring bridges until they become unsafe and have to be replaced.

  3. ...33 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters "cannot see themselves voting for Hillary Clinton in November."

    That tune will change when she's the only thing standing between them and a Trump presidency.

    1. Tonio

      That 33% includes the current Bernie supporters who will vote for Trump over Clinton. White, blue collar union types.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

        When I see '33%' I think 'less salt'.

        1. Tonio

          No, they are the salt of the earth. It is known.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            salt of the earth

            Morons?

            1. Private Chipperbot

              https://youtu.be/KHJbSvidohg

          2. Adans smith

            Pillars of salt?

            1. Lots of them are.

              1. EMD

                *narrows arteries*

          3. It is known.

      2. Roger the Shrubber

        Outnumbered by the youth vote that will turn for Hillary.

        1. Tonio

          Probably, but still might put Trump over the top.

          1. Roger the Shrubber

            I'm not sure how math works on your world were a candidate receiving the lesser number of the as yet undecided votes is what wins him the election.

        2. WTF

          The youth vote is really enthusiastic for Hillary? Seems a little counter-intuitive.

          1. Roger the Shrubber

            Not enthusiastic for Hillary but enthusiastically anti-Trump. When the time comes, those that turn out will vote Hillary.

            1. EMD

              But those don't turn out. They're unreliable. They had all the feelz for Obama, but I don't think Old Rusty Vag inspires as much hope and change.

              1. Roger the Shrubber

                I don't disagree that turnout from Sanders supporters will be low in the general election. But it's comical to think that of those that do turnout, a majority will vote for Trump, or that a majority of Bernie's millennial voters who vote in the general will not vote for Hillary.

    2. They can't see themselves doing it, so they'll just close their eyes, think of England, and vote for her.

    3. Jerryskids

      They can't see themselves voting for Hillary only because they'll have their eyes closed (and their noses held) when they pull that lever come November. But whether you see it or smell it, you know what's in that sandwich you're gonna be gagging down your throat. But, hey, buck up - on the other side of the fence the GOP sheep are doing the exact same thing.

  4. Tonio

    State radio sucks state's cock in reporting about Malheur Occupation: Robert "LaVoy" Finicum, who would later die after being shot by state police. Got that? Not killed by police, not shot to death by police, just happened to die at some point after being shot by police. Like they winged him or something and he later died of unrelated causes. Slurp, gobble, slurp.

    But the article is interesting for the shocked indignant tone on the part of the cops and judge that actual elected officials might not be on board with their actions.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      If you think about it, it's kind of his fault for dying after they shot him. Why'd he have to go and do that, huh? Just trying to make the cops look bad.

      1. Tonio

        Thank you. Finally, someone who understands. This almost redeems you from the taint of the obnoxiously numbered posts.

        1. SugarFree

          They're numbered for your pleasure...

        2. bacon-magic

          268000000) +1

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Can you be sure he actually died from being shot by the police? Maybe he drank too much water from Flint? I bet if they ran tests they'd find more lead in his body than most people normally have.

        1. Tom Bombadil

          He may have died from not enough blood.

          1. Citizen X

            His lifestyle choices led to severe, ultimately fatal, organ damage.

        2. Recall that one (maybe more than one) poster here adamantly held the position that Kelly Thomas wasn't actually killed by them, since he died when he was taken off life support a few days after being being beaten into a terminal irreversible coma .

    2. Brett L

      A guy in Addison, TX was charged with murder and ag assault for chasing down two juvenile teens and shooting them after witnessing them burglarizing unoccupied cars. The kicker is he was an off-duty police officer. I was shocked. Turns out that it against policy and maybe the law to engage in pursuit when off-duty.

      1. Is that why he was charged? Or was he charged because they never presented a reasonble threat of death or serious bodily harm to him?

  5. Thirst!

  6. SeaWorld says it is going to stop breeding killer whales.

    And on to cloning them... WITH HITLER'S BRAIN.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far.

      1. WTF

        As long as we can get some fricken' lasers on its head.

    2. Adans smith

      Who are the guys that have to do the breeding? Sounds like a 'hard' job.

    3. "SeaWorld bows to pressure from PETArds" would be another way to put it.

  7. First world problems -

    I sit in a lot of overly large webex meetings (the state loves meetings, IT loves webexes, so state IT ends up with a crapload of webex meetings). But whenever anyone enters or leaves the meeting, the webex windoes decides to flash and flash a notification. I don't give a rat's ass that someone came or left one of these giant meetings. I amy trying to multitask, so my choices are let the annoying flash on the taskbar keep flashing, or to click over to it and interrupt my train of thought.

    /end gripe

    1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

      One less Scooby-snack for you, Scooby-Doo!

      1. I only mention it because I am still sitting in a webex of dozens of people that started two hours ago.

        1. WTF

          That's...inhumane.

        2. Private Chipperbot

          We can change our preferences so you don't see those notifications.

          1. Not that I've found, the taskbar still flashes. If you can point me to the configuration item, I'd be grateful

            (and the meeting is still going on.)

        3. Spoonman.

          Can you at least pee during them, or might your comments be needed?

          Skype for Business does that flashing thing too. It's at its best when the presenter has to open the window on screen to see why it's flashing.

          1. I don't have to constantly comment, but it's intermittant and unpredictable when I do have to chime in

          2. I have two monitors for that ? one for presenting and the other for Lync.

  8. Lord Humungus

    Let It Rip: Farting Can Be Good for Your Relationship

    From an early age, we're taught to hide or apologize for certain bodily functions, so we become masters at timing, whether that means leaving the room to release it, waiting for a loud moment during the movie, or just (painfully) holding it in until you seize a more opportune moment. But when is it acceptable to let one rip right in front of a new romantic partner?

    Mic's survey found that most people wait between two to six months into a relationship (29 percent of respondents), which also happens to be prime "I love you" time. The second highest response was six to twelve months in (25.2 percent) and the third highest response (22.4 percent) was from those who farted after just a few weeks of meeting their S.O. (bravo). The rest said they will never intentionally let one slip (boo!).

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      "waiting for a loud moment during the movie"

      I think I sat behind this person the last time I went to the movie theatre.

      1. Elspeth Flashman

        It's better if you're at a concert or something. No one will ever know who it was.

      2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        What about waiting for the smelly part of the movie?

        1. Elspeth Flashman

          Smell-o-vision?

          1. Restoras

            +1 wrinkley Elmer Fudd

    2. egould310

      In our household, we leave the room to fart. And light a candle, for god's sake!

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        In my household, everyone else leaves the room when I fart.

    3. Lee G

      More room on the outside.

      When I was a teenager I turned the car heat way up one time during a date just so I could have an excuse to roll down the window for an emergency main ballast tank blow.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        I'm sure she didn't suspect a thing.

        1. Lee G

          I'm sure she didn't, it was a brilliant move on my part. At least I thought so at the time.

        2. Rich

          Au contraire! She respected his enabling her to fart with impunity.

    4. gaoxiaen

      However, queefing is okay the first day.

  9. Juvenile Bluster

    Today is St. Patrick's Day.

    Cultural appropriation!

    1. Scalro Humillimus

      Only Irish gets to celebrate today. The rest of you better not get drunk, fight,
      eat potatos or dance jigs.

      1. Tonio

        How Irish you gotta be? One-drop rule?

        1. One drop of whisky rule?

          *activates flashing shamrock decoration on desk*

        2. Scalro Humillimus

          Only Irish not irish.

      2. Today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.

        1. Brett L

          If they stay late enough at the party, they'll get a little Irish in 'em!

          1. "The only time she has a little Irish in her is when I put it there"

      3. Elspeth Flashman

        Family traditions: go to the parade, eat some corned beef, drink some Guinness, go to a church supper where they have corned beef, soda bread, and Irish whiskey as desert, wear a sweater covered with shamrocks (or an Aran knit, ok as well), something with tweed if you have it, and go to bed early. No big binge drinking night

        /Just in case someone wanted to appropriate my mom's family's traditions.

        1. Family Tradition as someone with an Irish surname who's ancestor fled the famine - not a damn thing different from any other day. Ignore the parade, the garish green ornamentation, dress in ordinary clothes and go about my business as if nothing were going on.

          1. Rhywun

            Same here. My given name is, uh, associated with today but I am not Irish.

        2. Private Chipperbot

          Wear blue and gold, the family colors, laugh at morons drinking shitty green beer, and celebrate my anniversary.

          1. robc

            Normally I wear orange , just to see if anyone notices.

      4. "Only Irish gets to celebrate today. The rest of you better not get drunk, fight,
        eat potatos or dance jigs."

        I celebrate every St. Patrick's day by beating my wife then getting her pregnant while swilling whiskey and hurling opprobrium at the vulgar English oppressor.

        1. Elspeth Flashman

          A friend of ours has three daughters who are all born 9 months after St. Pat's day, and a year apart.

          1. +1 brace yerself Bridgit

            (if you don't get the reference that's because you're not a racist)

            1. +2 Irish foreplay

              1. I knew *you* would get it.

        2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

          I celebrate every St. Patrick's day by beating my wife then getting her pregnant while swilling whiskey and hurling opprobrium at the vulgar English oppressor.

          Just like every other day?

        3. Scalro Humillimus

          I hope I wasn't improperly restricting you to those actions. I am only part Irish so I wasn't aware of the proper celebration. Thank you for instructing me. I am waiting for October so I can drink much beer and invade my neighbors.

      5. Pope Jimbo

        "or dance jigs"

        RACIST

        1. Scalro Humillimus

          I'm white so that is a given. I might as well compound.

    2. gaoxiaen

      Yay! Green tequila!

  10. colorblindkid

    Fucking PETA ruins everything.

    1. Tonio

      Nope, no such thing as actual, commercialized cruelty to animals for the entertainment of others. Everyone who supports any protections for animals is a PETA supporter. Etc.

  11. Today is St. Patrick's Day.

    Also known as: Cultural Appropriation is Okay If They're White Day

    1. Erin Go Eff Yourself, Land of Ire!

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      What color are leprechauns?

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

        If I had three wishes granted to me I'd be tempted as one of them be, 'to bang a lady leprechaun'.

    3. I'm going for the Green.

      1. Scalro Humillimus

        Only an American would think of green. Red is more durable.

  12. egould310

    So now the Kurds are exploding car bombs? I thought they were the "good" Muslims?!?

    1. Now? The PKK has been at this since the 1980s

    2. mashed potatoes

      Well, probably the PKK. And turkey has been bombing them for months now.

      1. Timon 19

        Years. Actually, at least two decades. There were a few breaks along the way.

  13. ...will no longer use grand juries in cases dealing with police officer-involved shootings.

    Instead a panel of retired law enforcement will convene secretly to parrot what the police union tells them.

    1. Tonio

      Why, those serfs might forget their place and indict one of the King's men!

      1. gaoxiaen

        NEEDZ MOAR LEAP!

    2. BigT

      "Hennepin County, Minnesota, an area which includes Minneapolis, will no longer use grand juries in cases dealing with police officer-involved shootings."

      All will be declared good shoots, saving taxpayer money on pointless investigations.

  14. Lord Humungus

    The Economist rates Trump presidency among its top 10 global risks

    The well-respected global economic and geopolitical analysis firm put a possible Trump presidency in its top 10 global risks this month, released Wednesday. Other risks include a sharp slowdown in the Chinese economy, a fracture of the Eurozone, and Britain's possible departure from the European Union.

    Trump's controversial remarks on Muslims would be a gift to "potential recruiters who have long been trying to paint the U.S. as an anti-Muslim country. His rhetoric will certainly help that recruiting effort," said Robert Powell, global risk briefing manager at EIU.

    Until Trump, the firm had never rated a pending election of a candidate to be a geopolitical risk to the U.S. and the world. The firm has no plans to include Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz or John Kasich on future risk lists.

    1. Rich

      Meh. Which candidate does J.D.Power rate highest in initial quality?

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      The world can't take that much class!

    3. WTF

      Notes that they failed to anticipate Obama as a risk.

    4. BigT

      Economist well respected? Not on its coverage of the US or AGW.

  15. Bee Tagger

    Today is St. Patrick's Day.

    Make America Irish Again

    1. BigT

      Make America Green Again!

  16. Lord Humungus

    ha.

    Hillary Faces National Security Establishment 'Uprising' Over Emails

    As Clinton's case progresses, it appears the probe is being directed by intelligence and national security law enforcement authorities rather than civilian agencies subject to political influence, according to a Daily Caller News Foundation investigation.

    There are currently at least four national security investigations, including those by the FBI, Department of Justice, and the inspectors general for the Department of State and the Intelligence Community.

    "The way I'm reading this is that there's this uprising in the national security bureaucracies to prosecute Mrs. Clinton," Tom Fitton told TheDCNF. Fitton is president of the nonprofit government watchdog Judicial Watch, which is preparing to depose top Clinton aides and possibly her as well, in litigation stemming from the State Department's maladroit handling of a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

    1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

      It HAS to be burning people as she progresses. If she in fact did break the law and acted as though she was above it, the integrity of the system, I think, would have to step up and bring her to justice.

      1. Honestly, it's not a question of if she broke the law. She was a government official with access to classified information. As soon as they found the first email containing classified info on an unprotected system she'd broken the law. It was just a question of what, if any, punishment she'd face. 2000+ items? She and Obama might be the only two people on Earth who could have that much classified spillage in their possession and avoid charges, let alone jail.

        As an example of how seriously everyone but Hillary Clinton in the State Department takes classified spillage a Soldier near where I work sent a date related to a unit's deployment over his unclass email, and didn't promptly tell the security guys of his mistake. He got lucky with a written reprimand and some non-judicial punishment, but it is still likely to end his career. We had another Soldier who, as part of an exercise, sent an unclassified document out, but the unclass document was based on a classified one and hadn't been properly caveated. She lost her security clearance which cost her her immediate job, was relieved of her position, and is currently being processed for separation.

        The handling of classified information is no fucking joke. That the Democratic ops with by-lines repeat the "after the fact" and "the government overclassifies" lines is infuriating.

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

          Amazing.

          And Hillary knew damn full well what she was doing.

          1. Here's my personal theory on what has happened with her server. Everything I've heard about it in the press is that the classified info was things discussed in the email (dates, methods, locations, etc) none of it were thing marked with a classification secret or above. As an example it is a case of Bob in the Argentine embassy mentioning how their source Juan was giving them an update on something and giving Hillary an update on it. That is classified, it is people and methods. Doesn't matter whether Bob properly caveated it; the information discussed is classified by its nature and needs to be treated as such.

            Since they haven't revealed items with classification headers were found that means one of two things happened. Either Hillary and her inner circle were aware enough of the rules regarding classified info that they knew not to send or receive anything actually marked "SECRET", and so avoided doing so. Or, prior to handing over the servers they instructed someone to go through and scrub any classified info, but that person was only able to scrub things with classified headers.

            I bet the former is what happened. That one email where Hillary instructed an underling to remove the headers before faxing something over an unsecured line makes me think that was their SOP. However it would not shock me in the least if they actually did the latter.

          2. gaoxiaen

            Or she didn't, which is worse.

    2. Tonio

      Um, the DOJ which includes the FBI is a civilian agency and as subject to political influence theoretically under congressional oversight as any other government agency.

      1. WTF

        Yup. To claim Obama's DOJ is not under political influence is just absurd. There will be no indictment, much less any prosecution.

    3. Keep these security gnomes in mind. They won't "resign in mass" like someone said yesterday. But they can, if they think the fix is in, fuck up a politician or candidate like crazy. Reporters, even ones who hunger for a President with lady parts, can't resist a leak from a spook. They dream of those leaks.

      Think drip-drip-drip of Clinton shit for months.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        Think drip-drip-drip of Clinton shit for months.

        So... just like the last 20 years?

  17. straffinrun

    I've got control of the youtube at the shithole bar I'm drinking at. Any requests?

    1. Blows Against the Empire.

      1. straffinrun

        Next up.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      The rap battle between Kool Moe Dee and Busy Bee Starski from 1980.

      1. straffinrun

        Playing now.

    3. "Paging Heroic Mulatto. Heroic Mulatto to the red courtesy phone, please"

    4. egould310

      Barry Manilow: Ready To Take A Chance Again
      The Wonder Stuff: Don't Let Me Down Gently
      Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: Deanna
      The Tyde: Do It Again Again
      Fu Manchu: Ojo Rojo
      Descendents: Coolidge
      The McCoys: Hang On Sloopy
      The Jam: Waterloo Sunset
      The Kinks: I'm Not Like Everybody Else
      The Shangri-La's: The Train From Kansas City

      1. egould310

        Os Mutantes: Bat Macumba
        Dengue Fever: The Deepest Lake
        Dag Nasty: Trouble Is
        The Cramps: Human Fly
        Big Star: O My Soul
        Shirley Bassey: Goldfinger
        XTC: In Grass
        Husker Du: Makes No Sense At All
        The Smiths: Frankly, Mr. Shankley
        Little Eva: The Loco-Motion

      2. egould310

        Os Mutantes: Bat Macumba
        Dengue Fever: The Deepest Lake
        Dag Nasty: Trouble Is
        The Cramps: Human Fly
        Big Star: O My Soul
        Shirley Bassey: Goldfinger
        XTC: In Grass
        Husker Du: Makes No Sense At All
        The Smiths: Frankly, Mr. Shankley
        Little Eva: The Loco-Motion

    5. SugarFree

      "Cars That Go Boom" by L'Trimm

    6. Private Chipperbot

      Pentagon papers.

    7. Thunderstruck by Steve n' Seagulls.

    8. Dude, it's 9AM.

      1. straffinrun

        10:57 pm on this island.

        1. Oh right, you live in Japan, right?

      2. Not if you're in Cipangu.

    9. sloopyinTEXAS

      Wannabe - Spice Girls

      Don't ask why, but that's a great jukebox song.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        Don't ask why

        Because that would publically announce that Banjos is a beard?

    10. gaoxiaen

      Free shots.

    11. Restoras

      BroScience Life

    12. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOeyQQSQAuo

  18. Lord Humungus

    Goodbye, Bushism

    Rubio's defeat, like most in politics, had many causes: a weak ground game, a media strategy that was overwhelmed by Donald Trump's cable-TV dominance, a persona and positioning that made him a second choice all over the map but a winner hardly anywhere, a youthful mien in a "hard man for hard times" election, and of course that one dreadful New Hampshire debate.

    But in purely ideological terms, what primary voters were rejecting when they rejected him was the political synthesis of George W. Bush.

    In domestic politics, that synthesis had four pillars: a sincere social conservatism rooted in a personal narrative of faith; a center-hugging "compassionate conservatism" on issues related to poverty and education; the pursuit of comprehensive immigration reform as a means to win Latinos for the G.O.P.; and large across-the-board tax cuts to placate the party's donors and supply-side wing.

  19. John

    http://www.fivefeetoffury.com/.....n-my-life/

    This video has to be seen to be believed. I am not sure what show it was on, but it is not an ad or a comedy skit. It is real and the people in it are who they claim to be. Forget about the politics of it. Just watch it and see if you can keep yourself from vomiting. These guys don't seem to know much other than they need to be in charge. We all joke about "Top Men" but here is a real life example of it.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000

      That's the beauty of the snowflake generation, John. We are all well above the median and know how to run your life better than you do, nevermind that we don't have any grasp about how anything actually works.

      1. John

        But all of those guys are old. They are boomers. So, what is their excuse? The worst part of it is the utter lack of self reflection. Nothing they bear no responsibility for the state of the country or for driving people to support Trump. Nope. Everything would be just perfect if the proles would just shut up and listen to their betters.

        1. Derp-o-Matic 5000

          Yeah, didn't watch video, assumed it was millenials.

          I think it takes a special amount of arrogance and lack of self-awareness to get into that level of party politics. The elites in both parties brought this on themselves and I'm relishing that aspect of this whole debacle. Unfortunately, I think Trump is absolutely abhorrent, so I'm torn.

          1. John

            He is no more abhorrent than these assholes. And him winning would at least be justice served on someone.

            1. CatoTheChipper

              As bad as Trump is, and he is every bit as bad as these politicos say and worse, he is no worse than his opponents.

              Though I have been capital-L Libertarian since 1992, this is the first year that I did not vote in GOP primary.

              It is revealing how unaware these intelligent men are of the reality that surrounds them.

              1. Derp-o-Matic 5000

                these intelligent men

                Citation needed

    2. Slammer

      Almost makes you want to vote for him, eh?

    3. Blogged it here:

      http://classicalvalues.com/201.....-of-votes/

      1. John

        And those guys have no clue why anyone would find them odious. They have totally lost millions of people like you and I and they can't seem to be bothered to wonder why. They really are the living example of that old Bretch quip about the communists; "the government needs to get a people who are worthy of it."

    4. Rich

      "All Trump has going for him is a lot of votes." "The world -- whatever that is -- is at peace with Hillary."

      Good stuff, John!

    5. Aloysious

      One of them mentioned a "benign dictatorship", and then they laughed.

      If any of them, god forbid, actually became a dictator, the last thing it would be is benign.

      1. John

        They think they would be on the inside if there was one. And notice, in that entire conversation the interests or welfare of the country never comes up. They all think of themselves as such patriots. Yet the actual good of the country is never considered. What is best for the country is always and forever what is best for them.

        1. Lee G

          I've met some "party" people like this in the past. Their general lack of commitment to any principles other than "party first" is disturbing.

          1. John

            And none of them will ever pay any price for their policies. Their kids will never end up in a school where the majority of kids don't speak English. Neither they nor their children nor anyone they are close to will ever fight in a war they start. They will never lose their job due to foreign competition. They will never have a loved one go to prison on some bullshit drug charge.

            They have absolutely no skin in the game.

            1. Lee G

              What I find most offensive about all of this is that the two parties have openly conspired to suppress third party opportunities through the FEC under the guise of finance reform. As a result, they are getting what are effectively third party runs inside their own party structure and they have the gall to be upset and indignant at the prospect of it.

              This is truly a creature of their own creation.

              1. John

                They also conspired through the cap on individual donations to prevent outsiders from running for office. The only way a non professional politician can ever run for federal office is by self funding. And now they are bitching and moaning that narcissistic rich guys like Trump and Bloomberg are stepping in to capitalize on the public's disgust with professional politicians.

                Get rid of the individual cap and someone other than Trump could have gotten a few rich guys to back him and done what Trump is doing now but be a better candidate and more suited to be President. That can't happen because these assholes fixed the system.

              2. Derp-o-Matic 5000

                What I find most offensive about all of this is that the two parties have openly conspired to suppress third party opportunities through the FEC under the guise of finance reform. As a result, they are getting what are effectively third party runs inside their own party structure and they have the gall to be upset and indignant at the prospect of it.

                This cannot be emphasized enough. The whole charade of "campaign finance" is designed to protect, first, incumbents, and second, the two-party system as a whole.

    6. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

      'The world is at peace (whatever that is) with Hillary Clinton.'

      Wtf?

    7. "Shell-shocked. Bewildered. Republicans are hierarchical, respectful of authority, and we fall in line, and Trump has interrupted that cycle."

      I can't figure out why 'we just kind of do what we're told' isn't a winning electoral strategy.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

        Here's a link to violent crime rates (per 1000) I brought up from the other day:

        http://www.nationmaster.com/co.....s-per-1000

        Damn, I can't find other links I had on the other matter.

        1. I do not trust those numbers at all.

          There's no way on Earth Russia has 12 times the homicides that Germany has but somehow has 1/4th the number of violent crimes.

          1. Lee G

            Non-violent homicides

            There, solved it for you

          2. OMG, according to those stats Colombia has 1/100th the per capita criminality of Iceland!

          3. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

            Apparently they cull them from national stats sources. Of course, they're just that - statistics compiled and put into order.

            But I've seen over the years, for example, violent assaults in Canada to be higher some years than the USA.

            1. If the crime goes unreported (as it does in many a country due to the bad results of dealing with police) it won't end up in those stats. That makes those stats an unreliable metric.

              1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

                There's that too.

                Crime comparison between provinces and states alone have to be treated carefully. Imagine countries.

    8. Lee G

      Ed Rogers is an asshole who is a perfect example of a beltway insider. He typifies everything people hate about DC.

    9. Idle Hands

      lol. Seriously those guys are like a leftwing caricature.

    10. Suthenboy

      "He is not articulate, he is not poised, he is not informed. All he has going for him is a lot of votes."

      "republicans are hierarchal, respectful of authority, we fall in line and Trump has interrupted that cycle."

      "I have travelled around the world a lot and Trump is a laughing stock. The world, whatever that is, is a peach with Hillary Clinton."

      Someone could have done the country a great service by stepping into that dining room with a Tommy Gun and laying down on it.

    11. Suthenboy

      Thanks John. Now I am so pissed I can feel heat coming off of my head.

      1. John

        My brother just gave me an unbelievable 6 mm sport rifle. It is specialty built for match shooting. I need to come out and see you and do some hunting with it.

  20. Trigger Hippie

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/14/.....index.html

    Proof positive that taxi medallions are necessary to stave off Satan. Ban Uber!

  21. Lord Humungus

    Michelle Obama says has no plans to seek presidency

    First lady Michelle Obama said Wednesday she had no desire to follow Hillary Clinton and run for president herself, saying she could have more impact outside of Washington's polarized politics.

    Obama made the remarks as she addressed the South by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas, where she introduced a song for charity to support a UN-backed campaign to improve education access for the 62 million unschooled girls around the world.

    "I will not run for president. Nope, nope, not going to do it," she said in response to a question.

    SugarFree hit hardest.

    1. SugarFree

      Yeah. I had a few low moments when I heard about that this morning. I had this whole White House Chief of Staff STEVE SMITH thing lined up.

    2. Derp-o-Matic 5000

      "Buuuuut....." she added, "If a certain front-runner were to be indicted and the convention simply gave me the nomination...."

    3. Rich

      Nope, nope, not going to do it,"

      "Wouldn't be prudent."

      1. Hamster of Doom

        That joke's as old as the Noid.

      2. Elspeth Flashman

        +1 SNL when it was funny.

    4. Slammer

      How about Oprah instead?

  22. Derp-o-Matic 5000

    Someone help me here. St. Patrick's Day is quite obviously problematic and the cause of much mental anguish and severe emotional distress. That's a given because, come on, it's 2016. Ugh.

    What I can't figure out: Is the holiday a microaggression because it stereotypes a historically discriminated-against ethnicity, or is it othering because it celebrates whiteness and Christianity, thereby trivializing the experiences of members of the noncisheteropatriarchy?

    Keeping up with this derp is really hard.

    1. Elspeth Flashman

      St. Patrick was othered to begin with. He was a Roman Brit who was enslaved by the Irish, fer chrissake.

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000

        Well, the important thing is that I'm triggered. Any and all displays of merriment should cease and desist at once.

  23. Mazakon

    According to a new poll, 33 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters "cannot see themselves voting for Hillary Clinton in November."

    Given the similarities between Trump and Sanders' rise, I wonder just what will happen if they feel the appropriate winner was denied due to the superdelegates?

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000

      Leave both slaver parties in drones and have a libertarian awakening?

      Maybe?

      Ah, fuck it. We all know enough people will just fall in line to not make any difference.

      1. NotAnotherSkippy

        Nothing says libertarian like socialism and protectionism.

  24. Lord Humungus

    Someone has invented tampons you can hide drinks inside

    If you're off to Glastonbury, Latitude or V Festival this year, you might find yourself seriously stressed over the cost of a pint.

    Fear not, because someone has invented a way for you to smuggle your favourite tipple into your tent - by hiding it in a fake tampon.

    Obviously we're not endorsing such behaviour, but just letting you know the latest weird and wacky ways people have tried to outmanoeuvre an expensive bar tab.

    something, something bloody mary

  25. SugarFree

    "Go to sleep, Donald," the hat crooned. "You have a big day tomorrow. Foreign policy briefing."

    "I'm my own best advisor," Donald insisted. "I will consult with myself on every decision and every decision will be perfect because I'll make it with myself."

    "Of course, Donald. And we'll be here to help you as well," the hair said.

    "Myself!" Donald insisted, falling back on his pillow. "You're just myself and I'm myself. Myself!"

    "Yes, Donald. You are yourself," the hat said.

    "No," Donald said, beginning to drift off. "You are me. You're my hat and you're my hair."

    "Just let the sedatives do their work, little buddy," the hair said.

    Donald's eyes grew dark and heavy, his lids finally closing despite his agitation. After a moment, he began to gently fart and snore.

    "We'll save a lot of time picking a Cabinet," the hair whispered. "He can fill all the spots himself."

    "He's had a hard day. Marco sent him a pic of his butthole. Said it was his resume for VP," the hat replied.

    "Where was I?"

    "I think you were asleep. It was right after lunch."

    "Oh, yeah. He ate three pounds of potato salad for lunch. How am I supposed to stay awake after all that?"

    "But, yeah. Just a big old pic of his butthole."

    "Ted isn't going to like that."

    "What choice does Ted have?" the hat asked. "He knows Marco is the choicest piece of Latin ass he's ever going to get."

    1. SugarFree

      The hair and the hat chuckled companionably. In the silence that followed the hair asked quietly, "Do you think he's right?"

      "Right about what?"

      "Are we just him? Like, are we just his imagination?"

      "How would that work?"

      "Instead of talking to us, he's just talking to himself."

      "Fuck that," the hat exclaimed. "I'm my own man. I'm not some figment of Donald's imagination."

      "But how would you know?"

      "How would I know what?"

      "If you were just a part of his mind?"

      "I am me, dammit. How could I know anything else?"

      "What if part of his delusion was that you thought you weren't part of his delusion?" the hair asked.

      "Are you fucking high? Are smoking dope, hippie?"

      "How would you know what you couldn't know?"

      "You always have to start this shit right before we go to bed."

      "Answer the question."

      "If I'm just in his mind, so are you," the hat said.

      "I very well may be," the hair replied.

      "I really hate you sometimes."

      "Maybe he just imagines that you hate me."

      "No. I hate you. If I know nothing else. If I can't know anything else, I know that I hate you. My hate is real."

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        "He's had a hard day. Marco sent him a pic of his butthole. Said it was his resume for VP," the hat replied.

        The beauty of this almost brought me to tears.

      2. *looks about for fragments of blown mind*

      3. Citizen X

        Poignant!

      4. bacon-magic

        SugarFree, you complete us. *puts ball gag back in mouth

  26. Idle Hands

    A Pill for Down Syndrome:

    We learned the biology quickly: Down syndrome is the popular name for trisomy 21, the presence of three copies of the 21st chromosome instead of the typical two. When she was only a few hours old, the doctors told us she would experience some health problems and cognitive delays. The range of those problems was unpredictable.

    "Would you take away the Down syndrome if you could?" I asked myself, and my husband, regularly. At first, the answer seemed obvious. What mother wouldn't make life easier for her child? What father wouldn't want his daughter's life free of obstacles and challenges? Then we started to get to know Penny?her thoughtfulness and humor, her love for books and cheeseburgers, her delight in climbing rocks and holding hands. We started to consider how changing her chromosomal makeup would change her, and as time went on, what had once been an obvious question became more complicated. Eventually, it seemed irrelevant.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I have a couple friends with Down's Syndrome children and they (that is, the DS kids) have the sweetest personalities you can imagine. There's a Down Syndrome man who walks down my street every day about 4PM with headphones on, singing loudly, not caring what anybody thinks. I admire his lack of self-consciousness, his ability to just be happy in the moment. Personally, if I had a DS child I would want to minimize the effects with treatment, if possible, but I can really see why some families wouldn't want to.

  27. Lord Humungus

    Drunken driver 'unfamiliar with alphabet'

    A Cleveland Heights man, 74, was arrested March 9 for operating a vehicle while impaired after he rear-ended another vehicle in the drive thru lane at Panda Express. The driver of the other vehicle said the man accelerated to close the gap in between their cars because he was trying to prevent another vehicle from passing between them to leave the parking lot. During sobriety tests the man refused to recite the alphabet because he said he was unfamiliar with it.

    I only speak Klingon, pig!

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      Cleveland public schools?

    2. Elspeth Flashman

      Chinese?

  28. Lord Humungus

    Hamptons luxury home sales soften as Wall Street weakness takes a toll

    The market for luxury homes in the Hamptons, the summer playground for Wall Street's wealthiest, is losing some of its luster as financial markets limp along for a second year.

    The average price of the 10 most expensive homes sold in this cluster of towns, villages and hamlets on Long Island's east end was $35.5 million in 2015, 20 percent lower than the $44.6 million recorded the year before, according to real estate brokers Town & Country Real Estate in East Hampton.

    That is far from calamitous given it is the second-highest average top 10 price ever and up from just $15.9 million in 2009, the year the market bottomed during the financial crisis.

  29. Bee Tagger

    SeaWorld says it is going to stop breeding killer whales.

    First, LL Cool J retires now this? Who's hat will look like what sea animal's fin, now?

    CORRECTION: i see ll cool j has in fact not retired.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      Don't call it a comeback!

    2. Derp-o-Matic 5000

      LL Cool J cannot retire; it is not a job but a state of being.

  30. Suthenboy

    "Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump: "Get ready for the nastiest general election in memory."

    I will stock up on popcorn. This time I want to see blood.

    1. Adans smith

      I'm with you,let it burn.Beer ,nachos and jalapeno peppers and cheddar cheese sauce.Real cheese,not that fake shit.

      1. That's going to burn alright.

  31. John

    I read somewhere that it is likely too late to get a GOP shitbag third party candidate on the ballot in November. So if Trump wins the nomination, throwing Romney or Ryan up as a third party candidate is likely not going to be possible. There is actually a third party that will be on the ballot in all 50 states, and I don't mean the green party. So, the #NeverTrump crowd will have an alternative to Hillary. They could go hat in hand to the Libertarian party and support Gary Johnson.

    If I thought Johnson had a shot at winning and my vote wouldn't be wasted, I would have no problem voting for him. I doubt, however, the people dreaming of jobs in a Romney White House would find doing that very easy. Allow yourself to enjoy the thought of those assholes having to go hat in hand and ask for a home in the Libertarian party and having to support Gary Johnson. Honestly, I don't think the Libertarian party wants them. But, they may have to ask.

    1. I already wasted my vote on Trump. I'll get another shot in November.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      Why is voting for Gary Johnson a wasted vote?

      1. John

        If he has no shot, why bother? I would just stay home. I have better things to do with my Tuesday mornings.

        1. Just a thought not a sermon

          Then why vote for anyone? Statistically, in any national election, your vote makes no real difference. When I vote, I prefer to vote for the best person on the ballot. That to me means it's not wasted.

          1. John

            My point was that I would vote for the person who had the best shot at beating Hillary and I would be fine if that was Johnson. I didn't mean to start a debate about protest voting.

          2. CatoTheChipper

            No vote changes the outcome of a significant election. An individual vote is nothing but a scintilla of support for a candidate. If one cares to bother to make such an expression, he should vote for his favorite, not one of favorite's opponents. Not voting is the most rational decision.

          3. BigT

            Then why eat anything? Statistically, in the long run you are dead, your dinner makes no real difference

        2. Juvenile Bluster

          Don't blame John. He voted for Kodos.

        3. I'm voting for the LP to raise the profile, however infinitesimally, of libertarian political solutions.

        4. Restoras

          You still go to the polls and vote for the other candidates on the ballot. Just don't pull the lever for the presidency.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      The LP proved that they're whores when they nominated Bob Barr in '08. They'd take 'em.

    4. If I thought Johnson had a shot at winning and my vote wouldn't be wasted

      Why voting third party is not wasting your vote.

  32. sloopyinTEXAS

    Clinton v Trump may have to wait until after United States v Clinton. Especially after it was revealed yesterday that the NSA explicitly told her no blackberry would be given to her because it wasn't really secure.

    Of course, she'd just say it was an oversight... Except for the fact that it went so far as to have a meeting with over a dozen high level State and NSA people where the determination was made. A month before she decided to go it her own.

    Oh yeah, and she was also told that iPhones and iPads were an absolute no-no in secure areas, both at home, in the office and while on the job. And she's got pictures of her with her idevices all over the Internet as well as speeches where she talked about having several while on the job.

    1. Man, that's some vast right-wing conspiracy they've got going.

    2. John

      I understand why people think that this thing is going to be ignored. I never blame people for being too cynical. That said, this is the most incredible and brazen piece of criminality by a public official certainly in my lifetime and likely in the history of the country since Aaron Burr murdered Hamilton. If you told me even two years ago Hillary was going to do this, I would never have believed you.

      1. Rich

        I understand why people think that this thing is going to be ignored.

        Please explain it to me. Seriously.

        When Trump starts in in earnest, it will not be ignored.

        1. John

          They thing so out of pure cynicism. That nothing ever happens to someone of Hillary's stature in politics. I am with you. Trump is going to kill her on it and I don't think the Intel community and FBI are going to stand for her being allowed to skate.

          1. How can the spy agencies recruit spies if they are not trusted to keep secrets? Their whole being is on the line.

            1. John

              And how can they ever prosecute national security laws if Hillary is allowed to walk? Everyone who has ever worked with classified data knows how bad this is. Her getting away with it and becoming President would completely break the moral of all of those agencies.

              1. WTF

                I would be willing to bet she is never really held accountable. That's not cynicism, that's just using my powers of observation and reasoning.

              2. CatoTheChipper

                The same way they prosecuted Martha Stewart after Monicagate.

        2. sloopyinTEXAS

          ^^This^^

          And if Trump is smart, which I'm not too sure of, he will wait until after the Dem convention to start banging this drum. Otherwise, we're likely to have a Trump v Biden election. And I think Crazy Uncle Joe would win, which is scarier to me than a Trump presidency by a long shot.

          Trump will beat Hillary to death with this. She'll be lucky to win anything beyond California and Vermont.

          1. Tonio

            Why do you hate the lulz, Sloop?

            1. sloopyinTEXAS

              I love the lulz. But lulz to me is more like finding out that a man from Licking County got arrested for child porn charges. The fact that we may elect a serial criminal grifter president isn't lulzy.

              1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

                The fact that we already elected a serial criminal grifter president sometimes had its lulz.

                But Bill was A LOT more likeable.

          2. Restoras

            OMG I would totally vote for Biden. The fucking LULZ would be epic!

        3. Tonio

          Trump raising it as an issue is different than an actual indictment.

          1. sloopyinTEXAS

            The media won't be able to sweep it under the rug, which they've largely done, once it's blasted on the airwaves over and over and over again in stump speeches. The facts will come out. And once they do, more people will realize she's a criminal, an imbecile or both.

            The effective electoral result of an indictment or Trump making it an issue are the same thing. But him making it an issue could result in enough pressure being put on the DOJ and Obama WH that they either have to indict her, appoint a special prosecutor who isn't a Team Blue apparatchik, or issue a pardon. Those would effectively make her unelectable.

            1. Rich

              "The President pardoned her, so it's OK now!"

              1. Tonio

                ^This. I called that several weeks back. A pro-active pardon like the one President Ford issued to former President Nixon. I think that was Ford's first action as president.

                1. sloopyinTEXAS

                  "Former" being the operative word. The equivalent in this case would be for her to leave public life and receive a pardon. If that happens, I see a pardon. But no way would a president issue a pardon to a nominee for the highest office in the land prior to the election. The FBI would all but walk out. The NSA would all but walk out. And every person ever convicted and jailed for a small-time violation of the law in regards to security violations and classified materials would be trotted out in commercials, campaign stops, tv interviews, etc, etc, etc until the hypocrisy was so evident not even half of the registered Dems would show up to vote for her.

                2. John

                  No it wasn't tonio. Ford Pardoned Nixon fairly close to the 76 election. The general thinking is that doing so tipped the election to Carter.

                  1. WTF

                    We live in a different world now, John. In Nixon's time, Republicans were willing to hold him accountable, and he also faced a hostile press. Now, Obama has done worse than Nixon ever did, yet he faces nothing for it because his own party will never hold one of their own accountable, and the press is on his side. The same dynamic holds for Hillary. Hillary's supporters already know she is a lying, corrupt, incompetent, criminal. They just don't care.

                  2. SRVolunteer

                    No it wasn't tonio. Ford Pardoned Nixon fairly close to the 76 election. The general thinking is that doing so tipped the election to Carter.

                    On September 8, 1974, one month after President Richard Nixon resigned the presidency amid the Watergate scandal, his successor, President Gerald R. Ford, announced his decision to grant Nixon a full pardon for any crimes he may have committed while in office.

                    http://www.historyplace.com/speeches/ford.htm

                    Ford didn't wait very long, John. Resignation Aug 9 -- Pardon Sept 8.

            2. WTF

              Those would effectively make her unelectable.

              Never underestimate the ability of TEAM members to hold their noses and vote for their candidate. Because no matter how bad, the other TEAM's candidate is always much worse.

              1. Lee G

                Case and Point

                But we also understand that many DUers -- even as they continue to support their preferred primary candidate -- are starting to turn some of their attention to the general election that is starting to take shape. I know it is something of a clich? to say that this year's election is the most important in a generation, so I'm not going to say that. But I think it goes without saying that this year is unique in that our likely opponent espouses a toxic mixture of unvarnished racism and incitement to violence that many of us had believed (wrongly) was beyond-the-pale for a major party candidate. Given such a repellent choice on the other side -- a candidate that displays outright contempt for many of the core values of this country and this website -- I have no doubt that every DU member will, in time, get past the divisiveness of the Democratic primary and vote for the Democratic nominee no matter who it is. To do otherwise is unthinkable.

                1. Case and Point

                  I'd like to thank you for towing the lion on this matter.

                  1. WTF

                    For all intensive porpoises, we knew what he meant.

                    1. Lee G

                      I guess I should be thankful Nikki isn't here

                    2. Citizen X

                      Irregardless, that's some quality derp you've mined their.

                    3. ^mind

          2. Rich

            "Indictment by the People"

        4. When Trump starts in in earnest, it will not be ignored.

          Still convinced Trump will gladhand Hillary because he's a Clinton shill. Fuck this guy and his moronic backers.

          1. Jerryskids

            Hillary's supporters already know she is a lying, corrupt, incompetent, criminal. They just don't care.

            Trump's supporters already know he's a lying, corrupt, competent criminal. They just don't care. And don't care that in the event, you're better off facing an incompetent megalomaniacal sociopath with both a persecution and a messiah complex than a competent one.

    3. sloopyinTEXAS

      FTA: such priority as to result in a face-to-face meeting between Clinton chief of staff Cheryl Mills, seven senior State Department staffers with five NSA security experts. According to a summary of the meeting, the request was driven by Clinton's reliance on her Blackberry for email and keeping track of her calendar. Clinton chose not to use a laptop or desktop computer that could have provided her access to email in her office, according to the summary.

      Standard smartphones are not allowed into areas designated as approved for the handling of classified information, such as the block of offices used by senior State Department officials, known by the nickname "Mahogany Row" for the quality of their paneling. Mills said that was inconvenient, because they had to leave their offices and retrieve their phones to check messages.

      Mills also asked about waivers provided during the Bush administration to then-Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for her staff to use Blackberries in their secure offices. But the NSA had phased out such waivers due to security concerns.

      The department's designated NSA liaison, whose name was redacted from the documents, expressed concerns about security vulnerabilities inherent with using Blackberry devices for secure communications or in secure areas. However, the specific reasons Clinton's requests were rebuffed are being kept secret by the State Department.

      Continued...

      1. sloopyinTEXAS

        Cont.

        The following month, in March 2009, Clinton began using private email accounts accessed through her Blackberry to exchange messages with her top aides. The State Department has thus far released more than 52,000 pages of Clinton's work-related emails, a small percentage of which have been withheld because they contain information considered sensitive to national security.

        If that's not a conspiracy to avoid FOIA and NARA as well as a gross and willing violation of the Espionage Act, then I don't know what is.

      2. Tonio

        waivers provided during the Bush administration to then-Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for her staff to use Blackberries in their secure offices

        Rot row. That's not good. She's going to skate because bushdidit.

        1. sloopyinTEXAS

          But the NSA had phased out such waivers due to security concerns.

          She was told before she set up her server or started using a private blackberry, iPhone and iPad for her work that the waivers had been phased out. So go ahead and strike "Rice and Powell did it" from the list of acceptable excuses the left will trot out any day now.

          I'm telling you, this email chain here is pretty damning.

          1. Tonio

            Oh, there was already a ton of damaging evidence that would have gotten any of us little peepul indicted. I just can't let myself get hopeful about this, seeing how she's skated on this for so long.

            1. WTF

              Yes, and they continue to grab onto any excuse to continue to allow her to skate. Nothing much will ever come of this, because laws are for the little people.

    4. Tonio

      Bureaucrats are all about the CYA. I guarantee you at least one person took notes at that meeting, and maybe circulated them.

      1. sloopyinTEXAS

        If I understand it correctly, the minutes of the meeting, with the name of one NSA Intel guy redacted, are in the email chain. She was directly told that unsecured devices were forbidden. She refused to use a State-issued laptop or desktop. She began using a private server and private devices a month after the meeting.

        She. Is. Fucked.

        1. Tonio

          And let me expand that for our audience. The minutes should show who was in attendance. And anyone who was in attendance and received the minutes is a witness. Unless someone can produce evidence that he contested the accuracy of the minutes at the time they were circulated.

        2. She. Is. Fucked.

          Don't get your hopes up.

        3. WTF

          No, someone further down the food chain would be fucked. Excuses will continue to made, and she will face little in the way of consequences.

          1. sloopyinTEXAS

            "Further down" only extends to her Chief Of Staff in the case of this meeting and the NSA explicitly telling her no. And no person of even middling sense would accept an excuse that the SoS and her chief of staff didn't discuss this matter sometime between the meeting between five NSA staffers and the seven State people and the time they set up a private server and hooked personal blackberries and iPhones up to it.

            Not to mention that the escalation leading to the meeting was in response to the NSA denying a request for Clinton herself to get a secure blackberry. No excuse due to ignorance passes the smell test to Terry Schiavo, let alone to a prospective juror or congressional staffer setting up the questions for the next hearing.

            1. WTF

              So, at worst, her Chief of Staff gets thrown to wolves and Hillary suffers little in the way of actual consequences. Believe me, I know as well as you do the enormity of her crimes here, I just don't think that anyone in a position to actually hold her accountable will ever do so.

              1. Cyto

                Yes. No chance they go after Clinton. Not a single one.

                If they indict anyone, it will be whoever copy/pasted or retyped information from the classified email system and sent it to HRC. Nobody has the stones to go after Clinton.

                Even if a Republican wins the election, all of the careerists are going to want to safeguard their turf. Nobody is sticking their neck out to try and win a case against the Clintons, knowing that they will likely be in front of a Clinton-appointed judge at some point. Lots of the prosecutors and judges at the federal level owe fealty to the Clinton machine.

  33. Lord Humungus

    I imagine Obama will be popping up in politics for a long, long time

    Obama is increasingly involved in the 2016 presidential campaign

    As Donald J. Trump and Hillary Clinton begin to tighten their grips on their respective party nominations, President Obama is plunging into the campaign fray, not only to help Democrats retain the White House but in defense of his own legacy in a political climate dominated by Trump.

    "The president has been clear that as we get closer to the general election, it will become even more important that the American people understand what is at stake," White House deputy press secretary Jennifer Friedman said in an email.

    Obama and his top aides have been strategizing for weeks about how they can reprise his successful 2008 and 2012 approaches to help elect a Democrat to replace him. And out of concern that a Republican president in 2017 ? either Trump or Sen. Ted Cruz (Tex.) ? would weaken or reverse some of his landmark policies, Obama and his surrogates have started making the case that it is essential for the GOP to be defeated in November.

    1. John

      They are never going to get rid of him. And if Hillary does somehow manage to win, he is going to torture her as President.

      1. Adans smith

        He's the herpes of politics.

        1. John

          He is what people thought Bill Clinton was. He really is a narcissist. Bill was happy to retreat to New York and hang out and make money and bang women after he left office. Obama won't be. He will do anything to stay in the spotlight.

          1. sloopyinTEXAS

            Bill was happy to retreat to New York and hang out and make money and bang women after he left office.

            Hey, some of those women were probably girls.

            1. John

              Likely. Funny how the media acts all shocked that Trump traded in a couple of wives on newer models and then thinks the husband of the Democratic front runner hanging out on a private island full of under age sex slaves is totally not news worthy.

              1. Cyto

                Wait... that really happened?

                1. John

                  We know Bill was buddies with the guy and went to the Island with him. That is established fact Cyto. No one, however, has made the accusation that Bill partook of the slaves there.

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      If there's one good thing about George W. Bush it's that he had the good sense to disappear after his presidency was over. Makes his character seem better in retrospect, actually.

      1. Tonio

        All of them, really. Disappear that is. The responsibility is quite draining and I suspect that most of them are happy to just be able to resume a normal life.

        1. BigT

          No

          Jimmy!

        2. Taft

      2. Citizen X

        I sort of like his new art career.

    3. Elspeth Flashman

      If only he'd leave us for another country.

  34. ""According to a new poll, 33 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters "cannot see themselves voting for Hillary Clinton in November.""

    My first thought is that this is bullshit, but then I remembered that Sanders' most fervent base of support is Millennial hipsters, so they actually might not show up for Hillary.

    They'll be too busy talking about how they liked Bon Iver before they sold out.

    1. WTF

      Hillary's not bae.

  35. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

    "Yarra Council passes motion for more 'green lady' pedestrian signals to promote gender equality"

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/le.....5f6f1f24b8

    Everyone has lost their minds.

    1. Rich

      Mary Poppins!

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

      1. Oscar Levant?

    3. Tonio

      But don't the images of women in dresses promote gender-normative clothing?

      1. Lee G

        It's actually still a dude, just in drag.

        1. Citizen X

          PROBLEMATIC.

      2. EMD

        Now you're talking.

    4. lap83

      She's showing quite a bit of ankle for a "lady", tsk tsk

    5. Not everyone wears a dress, but a dress-wearing silhouette (what's the opposite of a silhouette?) is meant to represent all women.

      If that's not some regressive, sexist bullshit, I don't know what would be.

  36. Lord Humungus

    I'm slowly catching up watching the latest Vikings - any general (NO SPOILERS!) thoughts on this season?

    1. I was unaware that football season had started already.

    2. Roger the Shrubber

      If you've enjoyed the previous seasons, you'll enjoy this season.

  37. JoWaDat889

    And that my friend is why we roll with it.

    http://www.Anon-Net.tk

    1. Lord Humungus

      RACCISTT!!

    2. Just a thought not a sermon

      +1 Steve Winwood

  38. Lord Humungus

    The new battle cry: Why can't the media 'stop' Trump?

    It's an argument that fundamentally misreads the role of the press. And it is being made by some generally smart people who are so apoplectic over the prospect of a Trump nomination or Trump presidency that they don't understand why journalists haven't convinced the country to despise The Donald the way they do.

    The new rallying cry is an outgrowth of earlier laments that the media "created" Trump or "enabled" Trump or "rolled over" for Trump, as if that, even if true, is responsible for him winning 19 Republican contests.

    Nearly 7-1/2 years after Barack Obama's election, we still hear a familiar refrain on the right: If only the media had properly vetted him, he would never have made it to the White House. Never mind that Obama managed to beat the Clinton machine in his first campaign and then to get himself reelected. The 2008 coverage of Obama was indeed too soft, but by 2012 the country certainly knew what it was getting.

    Gawd I'm not a Trump supporter, but I have been enjoying the lamentations... good theater, though the final act may be disappointing. No matter who wins it's going to be a shitpile so I might as well be entertained as the Republic lets out the final gasp.

    1. "And it is being made by some generally smart people"

      Evidence that anyone in the media is 'generally smart' is sorely needed.

    2. Tonio

      I, for one, welcome our new Visigoth overlords.

    3. John

      Gee, it is almost as if 8 years of being the state run media for Obama and questioning the motives of anyone who disagreed with him has reduced the media's credibility with the public or something.

  39. This is kind of my come out of hiding': Emotional Erin Andrews thanks public for their support in first interview since winning $55million in nude video lawsuit

    She, along with her father, watched the video frame by frame with the FBI in hopes of getting some clues as to the location of the hotel

    Um, I guess Donald Trump approves...

    1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

      With her father, eh?

      Hm.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

        Reminds me of the time when I saw on TV Jenna Jameson's father talk about how he followed his daughter's career.

        Hm.

      2. Lord Humungus

        go on...

    2. John

      I am constantly amazed at how many bad trial lawyers there are out there. The defendants' trial strategy in this case was to say Andrews benefited from the publicity. That might have worked if the plaintiff had been Lindsey Lohan. Instead, the plaintiff was a beautiful woman and everyone loves a pretty girl. And not just that, she is a TV presenter who made her career being the pretty sideline reporter that everyone could relate to. Andrews was going to be a dream witness. She was going to get up on the stand look great but still relate to the jury. She was going to come across as your neighbor's pretty daughter you always wished your son had married who was victimized by an evil pervert and negligent hotel.

      And these dumb asses, who no doubt got bad a fortune to defend this case, thought the way to try that case was to claim "the whore was asking for it". They should have gone with "this is horrible and we are really sorry but there was nothing we could have done to prevent it". That might not have won, but it wouldn't have caused the jury to hate them and stick their client with a $55 million verdict.

    3. "Um, can we rewind that?"

      /FBI Agent

      1. Slammer

        Erin Go Braless

        1. sloopyinTEXAS

          ::vomits first Guinness of the day::
          ::applauds::

        2. Beautiful

  40. Private Chipperbot

    http://ultimateclassicrock.com/ted-cruz-stryper/

    Ted Cruz is the lead singer of Stryper.

    1. Lee G

      That explains a lot

  41. Hennepin County, Minnesota, an area which includes Minneapolis, will no longer use grand juries in cases dealing with police officer-involved shootings.

    So they've removed the silk glove covering the same exact gauntlet. The only difference is that the prosecutor can't behind the ruling the of the Grand Jury that he determines anyways.

    1. Exactly.

      Why not pass a law that before a prosecutor can bring a case to a grand jury, he must certify that he believes the defendant is guilty and will bring him to trial if he's indicted.

      The grand jury is supposed to be a shield against wrongful prosecutions, not a buck-passing device for cases the prosecutor doesn't actually want to prosecute.

      1. So to be specific, before the prosecutor can give a case to the grand jury, he must sign a form saying "I believe this defendant is guilty, I ask that you indict him so that I can prosecute him."

        None of this, "gosh, I didn't decide anything, I just left it to the grand jury."

        1. I would give the Grand Jury complete autonomy from the prosecutor and *somehow* allow them to hear the other side of the story. I realize that sometimes with investigations and indictments, they must remain in secret until the moment someone is actually charged but there could be an additional step where the Grandy Jury finds there to be enough evidence for a trial, and the defendant would technically be indicted, but would get an opportunity to face the Grand Jury with his own legal counsel and evidence before the case would actually proceed to trial.

          Basically I like the idea of a Grand Jury in theory, I hate the way it's just a pet of the prosecutor. Let's make it an actual check on prosecutorial powers, not a rubber stamp to validate the prosecutor's deceptions or malicious intent.

          1. Connecticut used to allow suspects to attend grand jury hearings and question witnesses, though without a lawyer.

            1. How generous. I wonder why they stopped.

              1. They got rid of the indicting grand jury.

                They still have investigative grand juries, but to be brought to trial, a probable cause hearing* before a judge is sufficient.

                *In deference to Swiss, I should probably call it "a hearing held for the sole purpose of determining probable cause, but don't call it a probable cause hearing."

  42. Bill Press' tears sustain me.

    ""Bill Press, a liberal radio and television host, has authored "Buyer's Remorse," a distillation of the Obama years that comes down to "yes, but." Yes, Obama got the stimulus bill through Congress, but it was too small. Yes, he passed the Affordable Care Act, but he punted on the public option. Yes, he signed the Dodd-Frank Act, but he left Wall Street's power largely intact. Yes, Obama ended torture as a tool of U.S. national security, but he didn't prosecute any high-ranking officials responsible for it. Yes, he made history as the first black president, but he spoke out only reluctantly on racial injustice. Yes, he ended the war in Iraq, but he's getting sucked into a new conflict there. Yes, he raised crazy money for Democratic candidates, but the House and the Senate went Republican on his watch. "The transformative new era of leadership Obama promised never happened," Press laments. "His presidency looms as a huge opportunity wasted.""

    The part where the white person tells the black president that he wasn't a good enough black person is my favorite.

    1. Lord Humungus

      You know who else didn't live up to their followers expectations...

      1. Mo?

      2. Derp-o-Matic 5000

        Jesus?

      3. Johnny Manziel?

      4. Citizen X

        Axl Rose?

      5. sloopyinTEXAS

        The pied piper of Hamelin?

      6. BigT

        Bob Dole?

    2. John

      The best part of the entire thing is that in fairness to Obama he is at most guilty of allowing his supporters to poison the well regarding political debate. Obama never claims his opponents hate him for being black. He lets his supporters do that.

      If you really look at the last 8 years, the problem was Obama's liberal supporters, like Bill Press refused to hold him to any standard of behavior. Obama did things that would have earned him a primary challenge from the left had he been white. That didn't happen because people like Bill Press just couldn't bring themselves to be critical of the first black President.

      One of the biggest reasons why Obama years have been such a disaster for race relations is because white liberals were just not mature enough to handle a black liberal President.

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000

        One of the biggest reasons why Obama years have been such a disaster for race relations is because white liberals were just not mature enough to handle a black liberal President.

        I get the impression that that is the story of Obama's entire life. There was a recent article in the Atlantic, titled something like "The Obama Doctrine." It was a really long article that took an in-depth look at Obama's foreign policy. There were some interesting things in there, but it mostly amounted to "Nothing is my fault. The world would be awesome if only my incompetent underlings and actual real world events hadn't prevented me from awesomizing it. They aren't really worthy of my awesomeness anyway."

    3. Citizen X

      The part where the white person tells the black president that he wasn't a good enough black person is my favorite.

      I know that's a particular hobby of yours.

  43. Spoonman.

    Turns out I can still change my registration to Republican in Pennsylvania before the primary, so I did that. Going to vote against Trump. I know, the lulz, and everything, but I really think he's worse than Hillary.

    1. Citizen X

      THEN YOU'RE WORSE THAN HITLER.

      Jordie Hitler, from Cincinnati. That guy is a douchebag.

    2. Suthenboy

      Worse than Hillary? You should have made an appointment for an eye exam instead.

    3. lap83

      Someone who the media and political establishment thinks is Hitler will be worse than someone who could get away with more than Hitler did? How exactly?

    4. Vince Foster would disagree with you if he was still alive.

      1. BigT

        Ron Brown agrees.

  44. Suthenboy

    Just saw on the ticker on a muted TV: Trump supporters say they will riot if Trump denied the nomination through brokered convention.

    I can't say I wouldn't like to see the convention hall full of power brokers burned to the ground. Nope, can't say it.

    1. I would buy popcorn and watch the festivities. I don't even like popcorn.

  45. sloopyinTEXAS

    Also, in other "unreported stories on Reason that are politically significant", WikiLeaks has released all of the Clonton emails.

    And now, back to your Trump-fest of pants-shitting articles.

    1. John

      No kidding? without redaction? Including the classified info?

      1. Psst, he said the Clonton emails. Those are different.

        1. sloopyinTEXAS

          ::shakes fist at iPad too lazy to autocorrect my mistake::

        2. Lord Humungus

          CLONTON SMASH! CLONTON KILL PUNY HUMANS!

      2. Lee G

        Searchable too.

        "Blumenthal" yields 1,096 results

        1. Lee G

          Good lord, he's advising on everything thru email. From how to counteract Romney to Kyrgyzstan refugee policy.

      3. sloopyinTEXAS

        Don't know for sure. I quickly did a search for "FOIA" and a trove of emails showed up.

        This is the first one I decided to open, just because it looked interesting.

        So could somebody explain to me if this is SOP for a sitting cabinet member to get emails like this from a former employee of her campaign staff who was explicitly forbidden from being hired by the president? Also, how is this not classified at least at a low level until its accuracy can be confirmed or disconfirmed (nod to Lebowski)?

        1. John

          I have a fair amount of experience with the staffing that goes on for such people. They have official emails, but they do not spend their time personally answering their email. They have a secretary and a staff that does that. AT that level, work is not done by email. It is done the old fashioned way with paper. There is an entire staff called the "Secretary's Briefing Staff" that does nothing but prepare oral and written briefings for the Secretary. The Secretary spends most of their life in meeting and receives a briefing book explaining who he or she is talking to and the issues relating to the meeting. If decisions are made in a meeting, the staff records it and then reduces it to writing if necessary.

          Anything the Secretary signs is first staffed by an entire section known as the "Executive Secretariat" or "EXECSEC" for short. The head of an agency doesn't just sign shit. Everything they sign is first staffed through the major sections of the agency and the legal counsel and everyone comments on it and either concurs or non concurs. If there is a conflict between the sections, the Chief of Staff will try and work it out or ultimately, send it the Secretary for a decision.

          Given how these agencies actually function, the idea that Clinton had her own private server and email account that she apparently was operating completely outside the normal process is rather astounding and quite damning, don't you think?

          1. So you're saying she's innovative and cutting down on government waste?

            1. John

              Yeah, she is just selfless like that or something.

  46. Saint Patrick - patron saint of Nigeria

  47. SeaWorld says it is going to stop breeding killer whales.

    They finally achieved the Kwisatz Haderach.

    According to a new poll, 33 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters "cannot see themselves voting for Hillary Clinton in November."

    And so they will go to the polls blindfolded.

    Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump: "Get ready for the nastiest general election in memory."

    No more tea and crumpets. It's beer and nuts all the way now! The gloves are off!

  48. Gerald Fitzhugh and Hugh Fitzpatrick can now march openly in the NY St. Patrick's Day parade

    1. Oops, Gerald Fitzhugh and Hugh Fitzgerald

      1. Citizen X

        Gerald Fitzhugh and Hugh Fitzpatrick AND Patrick Fitzgerald.

        1. I ruined a perfectly good joke.

          Well, maybe the term "good" is stretching things a bit.

    2. That's all well and good, I just hope they won't take it as an opportunity to bust the banana hammocks and assless chaps. Not every parade needs to be a gay pride spectacle.

      1. Citizen X

        [citation needed]

        1. But on Thursday, Gelman will finally march up Fifth Avenue. A year after a limited easing of the parade's prohibition on gay groups, organizers now have opened the lineup more broadly to include activists who protested the ban for years.

          There's a cite. Or are you asking me to cite my hope that they won't treat it like a 'gay pride' parade one would normally envisage? In which case I'm not sure a citation would be necessary.

      2. Brett L

        No chaps have asses! Assed chaps are pants.

  49. Tally ho, chaps, happy Saint Patrick's Day and all that, have some shamrocks, Eric go Bragh and whatnot.

    1. Erin go bragh

      1. Eric is better.

  50. Clich? Bandit

    From the MN Article:

    "He knows there is going to be other prosecutors that will disagree with his decision, but he is staking out a principle position," said Mark Osler, a law professor at the University of St. Thomas and former federal prosecutor.

    Excellent grammar from a respected elite institution.

    In other news Nikki's head explodes.

    How the hell did this person graduate much less become a federal prosecutor? What the fuck do his legal briefs look like?

    1. Citizen X

      What the fuck do his legal briefs look like?

      Uh, he prefers boxers, thank you very much.

      1. What the fuck do his legal briefs look like?

        Brown

  51. We know that the oh-so-sensitive term "paddy" in the term "paddy wagon" means "Irishman."

    But does "paddy" mean the Irish cop putting you *in* the paddy wagon, or the Irish suspect being put in?

    1. Brett L

      Yes. Paddys in the front Paddys in the back. Often swapping places given the day is the old joke.

      1. Jokers to the left clowns to the right.

        The current political season.

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  53. prolefeed

    According to a new poll, 33 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters "cannot see themselves voting for Hillary Clinton in November."

    Until October rolls around.

  54. SeaWorld says it is going to stop breeding killer whales.

    I'm pretty sure the only thing worse than being a whale forced to live in a swimming pool is being a whale forced to live in a swimming pool that never gets to have sex.

  55. EMD

    "Watch what you say on Facebook."

    1. I never say anything on Facebook. If I feel compelled I type it in.

  56. PollyZ

    This "33% of Bernie voters won't vote for Hillary" is quite misleading. A look at the link shows that this was a poll of Bernie voters IN VERMONT ONLY, shortly after the March 1 primary. . .applying the 33% number nationwide is ridiculous. The Bernie diehards will mostly come around, especially when faced with Trump, as they did in 2008, when many Hillary supporters insisted they wouldn't vote for Obama, until the election when of course they mostly did. Try not to put silly stuff on your blog.

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