Reason Weekly Contest: The Microaggressions of Harry Potter

Last week's winners revealed.

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Potter
Harry Potter

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

An academic is angry at J.K. Rowling for "culturally appropriating" Native American myths. Come up with the name of the next offensive Harry Potter sequel or spin-off.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "HARRY" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, March 14. Winners will appear on March 18. In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: After a right-leaning Claremont College student was told to read a series of social justice articles, including "Heteropatriarchy and the Three Pillars of White Supremacy," we asked you to name another article possibly on his reading list.

THE WINNER:

"I'm Ok, You're a Cis-Male Genocidal, Patriarch-Supporting, A**Hole"—Walter Hayes, Hartsdale, NY

SECOND PLACE:

"I'm Okay; You're Europhallologoheteroplutopatriarchal"—David Edmondson, Washington, D.C.

THIRD PLACE:

"Shut Up and Listen"—Tom D, Phoenix, AZ

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

"The Founding Fathers of Hegemony: Why the First Amendment is a Tool of the Oppressor"—Lauren Rodriguez, Brooklyn, NY

"The Y-Chromosome's Billion-year Oppression of the Cell Nucleus."—Dick Nimmons

"Clinical and Medical Uses of Political Correctness as a Depressant"—Joyce Farrell, Wautoma, WI

"Why Strict Adherence to the Orthodoxy Is Essential to Tolerance, Diversity, and Inclusiveness"  

"Strategies to Prevent White Men from Stereotyping"—David Edmondson, Washington, D.C.

"A Case Study of Grammatical Sexism in English: Why Social Justice Sounds Better in the Original Gender-Neutral German"—Free Society, Commentariat, OH

"White Guilt For Dummies"—Ed Perovic, Winnetka, IL

"One Feelings, Two Feelings, Red Feelings, Blue Feelings"—Tim, Mahwah, NJ

"Latent Cisheteropatriarchy: Why your existence is oppressive and how you can atone for your crimes."—Richard Bradley, Fredericksburg, VA

"It's Not Prejudice If We Do It: A History Of Social Justice In America."—Charlie Mike

AND FROM THE COMMENTS:

"Cis-heteroshitlordism in The Modern Academic Setting: A Holistic Case for Extinction"

"Breaking Down Barriers in a Cisheteronormative Society"

"Male Gaze, You're Doing It Right Now"

"Face It, You'll Always Be A Racist"

"Can I Get Some Muscle Over Here?—A Guide to Press-Academia Relations"

"Green Eggs and You're a Racist Ham"

"Rethinking Gulags: Safe Spaces Ahead Of Their Time"

"Snow White and the Seven Pillars of Heteronormative Racist Oppression"

"Pinocchio: Why he had to lie in order to smash the patriarchy"

"Heteropatriarch vs. MechaHeteropatriarch"

"Mental Dams. Safe Conversations for a Safe Community"

"I Said I Wanted a VENTI Skinny Latte: A Social Justice Warrior's Guide to the Workplace"

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