Reason Live Tweets the GOP Debate

Trump, Kasich, Rubio, and Cruz meet in Miami for another CNN debate

UPDATE: The debate is over. Thanks for joining us.

Republican presidential wannabes Donald Trump, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio and Ohio Gov. John Kasich take the stage at the University of Miami. The debate is moderated by CNN's Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, plus Hugh Hewitt and The Washington Times' Stephen Dinan. CNN is livestreaming.

Comments

[__Warren__]

What are their views on pussy balloons.

[__Warren__]

I sold all my question marks for drugs.

[Adans smith]

Soon it'll be your commas,then periods and then you'll be putting out for Crusty.

[__Warren__]

He'll never get my colon!

[Quincy.]

He'll only get half of it.

[__Warren__]

He goes through life with a semi.

[Adans smith]

I'm sorry I started this.

[Quincy.]

If you're questioning your sexuality, do you lose you virginity with an Interrobang?

[0x90]

That's what comes after water-boarding, right?

[commodious spittoon]

Fist of Etiquette|3.10.16 @ 8:33PM|#

DO NOT WANT

[Fist of Etiquette]

DO NOT WANT

[Adans smith]

Fist SMASH!

[Jerryskids]

Prediction: Marco goes after Ted, Trump looks presidential, Ted can't figure out why Marco is doing Trump's dirty work, CNN gives Trump 25 uninterrupted minutes after the debate to expand on his remarks, including how disappointed he is at the low tone of the debate.

Nobody mentions the fact that one of the mods is a lunatic. Or that Erin Burnett earlier insisted to Reince Priebus that a candidate can have less than half the delegates and still have a majority of the delegates.

[Notorious UGCC]

Wow, not even that makes it sound interesting enough to watch.

[Jerryskids]

Some of us watched Big Time Wrestling back in the day and we get nostalgic.

[Gray Ghost]

Over/under on number of pre-cued slides showing Trump being full of shit on his various plans? I'm thinking 0.5.

Trump's best move is, as you predict, to sit there and look presidential. Every time he talks about specifics, he loses supporters.

Absolute LOL on a guy who'd ban abortion under every circumstance, including to spare the life of the mother, endorsing Trump. It's one of the few positions I remember Carson taking, other than his views on the Pyramids, and he shit all over it for a position-to-be-named later in the Trump Administration. Good riddance.

[Cytotoxic]

An administration that will never exist at that.

[lulztopian]

you keep saying that like it's a wish and a hope, not something you know

[Gray Ghost]

Objectivist. So, yeah.

[Cytotoxic]

Objectivist. So, yeah. awesome

FTFY

[Cytotoxic]

It's how it's going to be. The polls numbers are clear: Trump has no path to the WH.

[lulztopian]

pre-primary polls are utter crap. i am betting you were just as certain he'd never be the nominee either

[Cytotoxic]

They are crao because nobody knows who they are being polled about. Everybody knows Trump, and most people don't like him.

[lulztopian]

the campaign hasn't even started and this know-it-all here has already declared it over.

you know what? this is a waste of time. have a fantastic evening, dipshit.

[__Warren__]

Who makes the most easily forgettable movies: Will Ferrel or Adam Sandler?

[0x90]

That's a trick question: they've each made just one, very long, movie.

[DenverJ]

Hitler. I hate subtitles.

[Rhywun]

Ferrell has been in one or two decent movies whose names escape me at the moment. Sandler has only been in shitty movies.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I take it you've never seen Punch Drunk Love?

[Warty]

Funny People was surprisingly bearable.

[Gray Ghost]

Nobody likes, "The Waterboy", or "Happy Gilmore?"

They're not high art, but they're perfectly good guilty pleasures.

[Rhywun]

I just can't stand him at all.

[But Enough About Me]

Actually, I rather liked Sandler's "50 First Dates." Kinda sweet.

[Adans smith]

Yes.

[Tejicano]

Not sure. I get them mixed up... and I can't remember how many of their movies I've seen - maybe a total of 4?

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Ferrell at least always tries. Sandler is just a swindler. His movies are intentionally shitty and forgettable.

[widget]

Question:

"Mr. Trump, you have said that you don't drink. Have you ever drank? If so, did you swallow or spit?

[sarcasmic]

I see the circus, now where's my bread?!?

[DenverJ]

"Where my money, bitch?"

[MoriahJovan]

In the toaster.

[Jerryskids]

Reince: At the end of the day, we're going to support whoever has an (R) by their name because that's the kind of party we are.

Yeah, see that's kinda the problem, Reince.

[0x90]

Because that's what it means to be a party. No matter which shit sandwich either party ends up with, come sept/oct, take a look at dailykos and such, and you know exactly what you'll see.

[DenverJ]

In allow fairness, that is what it means to be a party. Libertarians get 3% of the vote on a good day. This is the paradox of the LP: In order to get more than 3% of the vote, you have to throw your principles under the bus, in order to get your principals elected.

[DenverJ]

Really? Nobody recognizes the genius of that remark? I'll bet somebody users it tomorrow, and tries to claim it as their own.

[Cytotoxic]

McConnel disagrees. He recently was reported to be telling GOP higher ups that they will drop Trump like a hot rock if he's the nom.

[lulztopian]

well then he's a dope. this whole thing started because the GOP is a bunch of spineless twats.

[Cytotoxic]

No, he's smart for understanding that Trump will shit up his party's brand and possibly lose them the senate. Dumping Trump is the opposite of spineless. It takes grit to stand up to your base.

[lulztopian]

yes, Mitch McConnell, known tough guy.

[Cytotoxic]

In this case, yes. More importantly, smart.

[Jerryskids]

And an ad urging us to call our Congressman to stop Obama's Medicare cuts. That bastard! Cutting spending? Good thing we got the GOP to stop that sort of nonsense.

[Adans smith]

Get off my lawn!!

[DenverJ]

No! You get off my lawn!

[Adans smith]

You didn't build it!

[DenverJ]

Not cool!

[Tejicano]

That only works when you're the one holding the Garand.

[0x90]

Odds that Rubio is played by Marky Mark, in the movie version?

[Quincy.]

I cast Benedict Cumberbatch as Rand Paul ages ago.

[Crusty Juggler]

Quincy Cumberbitch, MD.

[Quincy.]

Quincy Cumberbitch, ME.
Philistine.

[Adans smith]

He's too manly for the role.

[0x90]

Two quartets on stage -- take your pick...

[Crusty Juggler]

Jay Hernandez, you racist.

[Crusty Juggler]

Yeah, that was not supposed to be a response to anyone.

[0x90]

Kasich apparently wants to be president for a whole century.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Nick Gillespie ?@nickgillespie
Acapella singing, other than on @toddrundgren LP of same name, is like seriously worse than most cancer #GOPDebate

Fuck you, Nick Gillespie. Rockapella is all that is right and good in America.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

HM, ever use Maxwell's custom tailors?

[Heroic Mulatto]

HM, ever use Maxwell's custom tailors?

No, I haven't.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Was curious. I have in the past and about to do so tomorrow again.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Well, looks like they'll be doing a trunk show down in Boston next weekend. Hmm....

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

3 shirts for $150. May get a jacket too. But not sure since I was planning to go to my tailor next month. Of course, my father doesn't know!

They've been sending me their pamphlets since I bought from them in 1999.

[Adans smith]

Then he's never heard En Vogue.Or he's tone deaf.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Many spermatocytes met their inglorious end to this.

[Adans smith]

Then there's Hold On and those little black dresses,wow.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yeah. Fuck Gillespie. Todd Rundgren isn't even fit to eat The Como Mamas' shit.

[Adans smith]

We agree,and yet I'm listen to Molly Hatchet tonight. I'm all over the place with music.

[Adans smith]

Sundays usually classical.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Nothing wrong with having eclectic tastes.

[lap83]

I wonder about the musical taste of anyone who eliminates such a broad category. Unaccompanied vocals are worse than cancer? That sounds as closed minded as hating instrumental music.

[Crusty Juggler]

Nick's never gonna get it.

[The Knuckle]

What you did there, I see it.

[RBS]

kev3d10 months ago
It's great to see the blond fellow get such a great gig after failing to kill John McClane.

[Cytotoxic]

Nick's tastes in culture and music and art are all cancer all the time.

[Crusty Juggler]

My favorite acapella performance: https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=09LQlfMmW7s

[Gray Ghost]

Damn, Trump sounded great there, bringing up all of the new voters he's brought back to their party.

[0x90]

Three guys talk up principles, Trump sez: we're totally going to kick ass.

[DenverJ]

I miss the black guy sleeping in the background.

[0x90]

Stop dumping all those products into the country!

[Gojira]

You're all going to die someday.

[DenverJ]

Not me. I discovered rutabaga juice.

[Quincy.]

Talk to MSimon, he has some ideas.

[DenverJ]

I may have the wrong veggy. I'm remembering a book I read a long time ago. It was probably written in the 70's. If I remedy right, a guy looking for a smell to put in perfumes discovered that the juice from x veggy made you immortal.
Anyone know what the hell I'm thinking of?

[Gojira]

I know what you're talking about.

It was the juice of a cucumber, but the problem was application.

You have to cut the tip off of the cucumber, and then jam the now juice-dripping end of it up into your rectum repeatedly, over a period of several days.

[DenverJ]

See, that's not helpful.

[Jed Templin]

Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume. And the vegetable was the beet. Great book from one of my all-time favorite authors.

[DenverJ]

Thank you. That's totally what i was thinking of. Yes, it was the beet. Thanks again.

[DenverJ]

WOW, published 1990. I was only off by two decades. Thanks again, that's bugged me here and there through the years. Good book, BTW.

[Crusty Juggler]

Beats are deadly serious.

[DenverJ]

Read it, Crusty, it's s good book

[Adans smith]

Hopefully I'll see Trump,Clinton and Sanders go fist in the same woo (the rest of this comment has been delete due to the fact it could be deemed a threat to the aforementioned individuals )

[Adans smith]

I eat a lot of garlic and onions and in the mornings it smells like something died.

[Quincy.]

Kasish: "I will blow the whistle on rough trade."

Homophobe.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Or homophile. We don't know what kind of whistle he's talking about.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

What kind of fucking retarded question on free trade is that?

[DenverJ]

Hey! This is the US presidential debate, how are you even seeing it in Canada? We need to build a wall on the northern border, and you know what, Rufus? You and Cytoxic are gonna pay for it!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

We're not the only two Canucks here. There are plenty and I want them to PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE!

[__Warren__]

We're not taking Tire Money or Timbits as payment!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Loonies?

[__Warren__]

A movie about a bunch of kids who find treasure? Is it the Blue-Ray with all the extras?

[Adans smith]

And in real money,not that colored shit you use.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Blue five dollar bills are BEAUTIFUL.

Meh.

Isn't enough we gave you Cruz?

[Adans smith]

You crossed a line with that Bieber chick.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

They can't all be Robbie Robertson FFS!

[Pan Zagloba]

We did send Neil Macdonald, Rufus. The wall is hardly a disproportionate response.

[Rhywun]

RAAAACIST...

[Cytotoxic]

That colored shit is harder to counterfeit and prettier to look at than your dumb mono-color paper.

[But Enough About Me]

Sorry, I'm all out of Euros at the moment.

[0x90]

Hippie Rubio proposes new flower-based economy.

[Quincy.]

*Sticks flower into the barrel of a gun*

Peace out!

[__Warren__]

The marigold standard will bring America back!

[Quincy.]

+1 cross of tulips

[0x90]

Those services are takin' our jerbs!

[Warty]

I'm still at work, racing to meet a bullshit artificial deadline. I'm having a better time than any of you fools who are watching this, though. What's wrong with you?

[Heroic Mulatto]

*Warty's webcam feed*

[AlmightyJB]

That dude needs some weed

[Los Doyers]

Fuck you. Bet you're not drinking!

[Adans smith]

I'n not watching,just drinking beer and being a smart ass here with some Molly Hatchet playing.

[Lady Bertrum]

I'm not watching. Why would I when I can get the highlights from Can't Stump the Trump episode 21?

I'm drinking Jim Beam Devil's Cut. It's 90 proof.

[AlmightyJB]

Good stuff

[Lady Bertrum]

Ugh, not really. I prefer regular white label Jim Beam.

[__Warren__]

White label? Of course.

[Lady Bertrum]

I am a basic bitch, so white label seems appropriate.

[AlmightyJB]

You know, you don't have to drink it:)

[AlmightyJB]

I grew up up on the regular Beam.

[Adans smith]

I'm a scotch guy,Sam Adams tonight.

[AlmightyJB]

I'm sober tonight. Anticipating the gate being left open tomorrow night so I'll make up for it.

[GILMORE?]

Oh, right. This again.

Is this the last one? tell me there's an upside to this.

[AlmightyJB]

GOP debabe 2046. Honey Bo Bo, if President will you continue the wars in the Middle East? Middle East wuuuuut? Wanna see my buuuuuutt?

[GILMORE?]

Yeah, you're right. Its probably going to get worse.

I'm going to watch Godfather II now.

[AlmightyJB]

I love that movie

[0x90]

Pentangeli...

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Ciccio, a porta!

[AlmightyJB]

DNC debate 2046. Hillary, your grandmother basically destroyed the economy when she was President, what are you going to do for the economy? I'm going to give all 50 genders their own State.

[Lady Bertrum]

It does only get worse. The Godfather III was awful.

[Crusty Juggler]

I thought the inclusion of cousin-fucking was pretty sweet.

[Lady Bertrum]

You never mentioned you were originally from Appalachia. Good to know.

[Adans smith]

Hey,I resemble that remark.

[Pan Zagloba]

He's one of them Shellbyvillians!

[Crusty Juggler]

The only decent music comes from a jug and a pair spoons.

[__Warren__]

You beat on some chick's tit with spoons?

[Crusty Juggler]

This isn't a barracks, Warren.

[Lady Bertrum]

You forgot the banjo.

[Crusty Juggler]

The second best type of music comes from banjo: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rkl5Fg33d8o

[AlmightyJB]

Thats good shit right there

[Heroic Mulatto]

I was going to say...

[AlmightyJB]

That child is terrifying. What's it chewing?

[AlmightyJB]

You forgot the armpit and the throat flicking.

[AlmightyJB]

Of course everything is metal now, kid's peeing on metal trash cans. I tell tell them that's not music, stop peeing on my trash cans and get off my lawn. They don't listen.

[0x90]

It is never the last one.

[Quincy.]

Kasich (did he just say that?): "400 new private sector jobs!"

[Jerryskids]

Yes he did - but he also said a rising tide lifts all workers so I'm guessing that 400 is a net after you allow for all the workers the tide drowned.

[Quincy.]

Anarchism? A reading list please.

[AlmightyJB]

Have you read Nozick's "Anarchy, State, and Utopia"?

[Quincy.]

Started it. Need to go back to it.

[AlmightyJB]

It's hard to get through.

[SIV]

John Zerzan's Elements of Refusal

[Quincy.]

Thanks.

[SIV]

Bob Black's The Abolition of Work

[SIV]

Lysander Spooner's No Treason: The Constitution of No Authority

[0x90]

Carson veep?

[Jerryskids]

C'mon Trump, you and Carson compared hand sizes, didn't ya?

[Adans smith]

Don't do it,it's a trap.

[Suell]

Ed Krayewski Retweeted
DPRK News Service ?@DPRK_News
Presidential candidates cynically pander to US Province of Florida, known for rampant election theft, Methamphetamine, and cannibalism.

That is ten kinds of awesome right there. Thanks Ed!

[Gojira]

In all fairness to the Norks, that is pretty much what Florida is known for.

[Cytotoxic]

That and Florida Man.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I will bring the retirement age in line with the life expectancy average.

[Lady Bertrum]

Soon everyone will have type II diabetes by age 30, so life expectancy should drop to around 45. That will be awesome for Social Security solvency!!

[commodious spittoon]

Damn that sugar subsidy!

[Rhywun]

People look at you like you're an alien if you explain to them that SS was never meant to last for 20+ years.

[Palin's Buttplug]

"I'M GONNA BE THE GREATEST SOCIAL SECURITY PRESIDENT EVER"

[Jerryskids]

GDP was at zero? I missed that.

[Quincy.]

What, you didn't anything last year?

[Jerryskids]

Trump can make the numbers add up dammit! That's how great he is!

[__Warren__]

He has the best numbers!

[Adans smith]

And their Yuuuuge

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I will find them and I will ki...fire them.

[Suthenboy]

OT and more interesting: We have had a bit of rain here. In fact, some neighborhoods in West Monroe only have the roofs of the houses sticking out of the water. Roads are out everywhere. Schools in multiple parishes are closed. The water is up everywhere.

My property backs up to Rigolette bayou south of Iatt lake. Recently they drained Iatt lake to kill of the salvinia that was beginning to choke it. When they did it greatly reduced the available habitat for not a small number of alligators. I gave up fishing for the spring because every time I cast a bait about ten of the bastards popped up nearby and I could not get anything to bite. Oh well, I figured I would wait until the lake was refilled and the gators would wander back that way.

All this rain and flooding has caused the bayou to rise dramatically and in some places it is far out of its banks. So are the gators.

My neighbor told me this afternoon that the water was near his back door and that a ten foot gator ate his dog when he let it out to pee.

I am sympathetic, but...he didn't see that coming? I only lost one dog to them and I fenced my yard in (out).

[__Warren__]

Can't you kill the things?

[Knarf Yenrab!]

SSS

[0x90]

I'd build a wall.

[DenverJ]

And get the gators to pay for it.

[SIV]

They can sell shoes

[DenverJ]

They can sell be shoes.

[0x90]

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, they'll say, before chucking a couple of their fellows over the fence.

[DenverJ]

Not a fence,a wall. And they're paying for it.

[0x90]

Of course, I was referring to the fence on top of the wall.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

West Monroe? Ever run into the Duck Dynasty clan?

[lulztopian]

yeah no offense but where you live is big pile of fuuuuuck no.

[Knarf Yenrab!]

Chain link fences are an eyesore, but I'd make an exception in gator country.

[Quincy.]

My dad makes more than I do, yeah, his problem is social security going away.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I can't shake the thought that Cruz wreaks of Vick's.

[__Warren__]

Our top news tonight, presidential hopeful Ted Cruz destroyed the downtown business district tonight by pouring Vick's Vapo-Rub into every available electrical junction and drain. The resulting fires and floods render the area uninhabitable. Causalities are expected to be in the hundreds.

[Cytotoxic]

Vick's?

[Crusty Juggler]

Vicks is a menthol-flavored personal lubricant.

[Jerryskids]

Ted - just tell them Donald offered you a blowjob just before the debate. Nobody gives a damn what sort of lies you tell if they're big enough.

[Adans smith]

The old L.B J trick,it's not true but he'll spend all his time denying it/

[0x90]

That's not a compelling argument, Ted. Just because you had to play the game, doesn't necessarily mean you enjoyed it.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Kasich: I beat Washington up!

[Quincy.]

He'll never land a fist on any of his, like, 30 pairs of nuts

[AlmightyJB]

Salad fingers? ENB you are a freak. I respect that.

[DenverJ]

Almighty ? ENB

Dual with Irish at dawn.

[AlmightyJB]

Irish broke off his imaginary romance with her. She's totally free to be my pretend girlfriend now.

[lap83]

ESB

[DenverJ]

Yeah, because just because he broke up with her, that means he's gonna be happy seeing her all Almightianed up.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, it wasn't ENB he was enamered with, it was ESB who's like 12 or something.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Her dead tooth and youthful looks remind him of his dear sweet mother, who died at the tender age of 16 in the Potato Famine.

[DenverJ]

Really? ESB? I totally missed it. Whoosh

[lap83]

The S stands for sad and stupid, the N for nice and normal. That's how I tell them apart.

[Crusty Juggler]

The S stands for scintillating.

[lap83]

i.e. "bright and dazzling"...is her dead tooth very reflective?

[Crusty Juggler]

The N stands for nitid.

[commodious spittoon]

I was going to make a Nermal joke, but I just found out that the internet thinks Nermal is a boy, not a girl cat. Which is incorrect, and I'm divorcing the internet much like Irish divorced ESB. Goodbye, H&R, I'm afraid this trespass was once too many.

[lap83]

Nermal had pretty eyelashes, how could it be a boy? /checks cis-privilege

[lap83]

Huh, I learned something new http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr.....qcc2b3.gif

[Crusty Juggler]

We will always have Malcolm Tucker! Vaya con dios. *sheds tear*

[Palin's Buttplug]

"THE CHINAMEN ALL LOVE ME"

[Crusty Juggler]

You are all class, guy.

[SIV]

Nick Gillespie ?@nickgillespie 7m7 minutes ago

Nick Gillespie Retweeted Pew Research Center

Number of good immigrants peaked right before my grandparents showed up.

Seems about right

[lulztopian]

believe it or not, Gillespie, that's actually how many immigrants feel: they were the last good ones.

[SIV]

Jeff Flake morphed from a reasonably pro-liberty congressman into a statist anti freedom RINO senator

[__Warren__]

Everything changed after 2001!

[Quincy.]

But... but... politically correct means correct!

[Knarf Yenrab!]

Did Kasich just say "re-approach-mont"?

[DenverJ]

That's French for "try to take the mountain again, and don't retreat this time, pussies!"

[Quincy.]

Kasich:"R?approchement."

French talking fag monkey.

[__Warren__]

A lot of people went to get a look at Nancy Reagan's box.

[DenverJ]

Ouch. I think Swiss would do more than just narrow his gaze: His eyes would be squeezed shut.

[Jerryskids]

C'mon goddammit - let's get specific on what brand of blowtorch and what specific type of pliers you endorse for Muslim terrorist interrogations!

[__Warren__]

Home Despot brand.

[Quincy.]

KitchenCraft and ViseGrips. Next question, Hew.

[SIV]

shikha sood dalmia ?@shikhadalmia 30s30 seconds ago

I have all these Jewish relatives but I can make Palestinians think I'm neutral! Because Palestinians don't understand English.

Where's Sheldon Richman's tweets?

[lap83]

Palestinians can't help but equate Jewish with their opposition? That's what it seems like she's implying.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I am very interested in whether Donald Trump might be a Zionist lizard person, and if Dalmia can instruct me on this pressing question.

[lulztopian]

wow, Mr. McArdle is really bringing the substance tonight:

Peter Suderman ?@petersuderman
Donald Trump is a bad person

you get 'em, Pete. Never mind you perpetuated Chris Wallace's lie about drug spending (which also makes you a bad person).

[lulztopian]

wow, Mr. McArdle is really bringing the substance tonight:

Peter Suderman ?@petersuderman
Donald Trump is a bad person

you get 'em, Pete. Never mind you perpetuated Chris Wallace's lie about drug spending (which also makes you a bad person).

[SIV]

Suderman's an establishment hack

[Cytotoxic]

Stop lying.

"you perpetuated Chris Wallace's lie about drug spending"

I'm guessing this is also bullshit.

[SIV]

Tell your countryman, Calgary Ted, to stop lying.

[lulztopian]

nope.

Chris Wallace said that Medicare spends 78 billion on drugs.

That's how much Medicare Part D ONLY spends on drugs. There are four parts to Medicare (A-D)

Combined they spend about $147 billion on drugs. And that doesn't count Medicaid, which spends about another $55 billion

From the horse's mouth

[lulztopian]

Suderman's an establishment hack

indeed. he also whined in that same article that Trump's ideas for healthcare lacked central planning. FOH, Suderman

[Jerryskids]

Wait, Kasich was in Congress before? Why has he never mentioned this?

[bassjoe]

Would you?

[Jerryskids]

HAHAHA! I'm great because I passed a law to fix this. The laws, they did nothing!

[Quincy.]

Cat meme.

[straffinrun]

GOP Olympic events:
1. Synchronized Lying
2. Sequestrian
3. Dog Shooting
4. Rhythmic pants shitting
5. LUUUUUGE

[Cytotoxic]

*ovation*

[Rhywun]

So... all of them are Tuff On Cuba?

[0x90]

Kasich: we're not rattling swords, but let me just rattle these swords.

[0x90]

(wasn't supposed to be a response)

[Rhywun]

It's like the ONE good thing Obama has accomplished, but they have to oppose it because TEAM.

[SIV]

Why does Kasich think we'll need renewable energy after his foreign policy reduces us to a low population cockroach warlord state?

[SIV]

Jeeze Uncle John, we're trying to enjoy Easter dinner here.

[Quincy.]

Kasich: Pandering to the bronze casting industries of Ohio.

[Knarf Yenrab!]

Kasich: I'm super experienced and have a great record and let's depose the third-generation dictator of North Korea.

[0x90]

I'm going to found a new party, on the platform of taking over other countries, in order to convert them to 100% renewable energy.

[jarflax]

If you convert them to 100% energy how is it renewable, aren't they gone?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Trump's idea of a riot

[0x90]

Kasich: you can't stabilize things without first destabilizing them, and I'm the guy who'll do that quicker than anyone.

[Jerryskids]

Where's Heroic Mulatto? I wanna punch him in the face so he'll know how much I love America.

[straffinrun]

I'm a minority. Take a free shot.

[0x90]

There's only one of me. 🙁

[straffinrun]

Damn, the rare superminority.

[Quincy.]

We have the best protesters!

[Quincy.]

Heil Drumpf!

[Quincy.]

Whatever, I'm drinking.

[Rhywun]

I haven't been paying too much attention - has this whole thing been as content-free as now?

"Why are Republicans so violent?"

[Quincy.]

"Why are Republicans so violent?"

Because tax cuts are cis-normative?

[lap83]

The guns made them that way....wait, no, that makes it sound like they're not inherently evil. Umm, Bush?

[Jerryskids]

Some random number of delegates the GOP set?

[lulztopian]

you know, it was the fact that Reason went round-the-bend nutso with their Trump Derangement Syndrome that brought me back here, I just realized.

say what you will about the man, but he has his own multiplier effect.

[Quincy.]

A Trump steak in every pot!

[__Warren__]

I don't want Trump's meat in my mouth.

[Quincy.]

Why do you hate the taste of freedom, Warren?

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

That's awful.

[0x90]

Ruby-o represents all good in the universe.

[Quincy.]

Marco exploits old people!

[Jerryskids]

Donald Trump knocks Cruz for claiming he's the only one who can beat Trump when Trump has more wins than Cruz - is Trump saying Cruz should point out that Trump can beat Trump better than Cruz can beat Trump?

[straffinrun]

AC/DC going deaf? Turn that hearing aid up to 11.

[Jerryskids]

There's Trump in a nutshell - he's gonna make good deals, but he can't be more specific than that because he hasn't looked at what's being offered. He's just gonna wing it and you just have to trust he'll do the right thing - and that your idea of the right thing is the same as his. I don't trust him. I'm tired of deals. Fuck you, cut spending is a deal.

[lulztopian]

yes because what we really needs is more plans, plans, plans. platforms, platforms, platforms.

there is absolutely, 100% nothing wrong with saying, "I don't know. I'll take a look at it and we'll get the best deal we can possibly get"

that's actually the mature response. only in upside-down world does someone approach with a bunch of solutions to problems where they don't know every particular nuance. and don't kid yourself: none of those other fools, or any of the other fools who preceded them, knew a damn thing about the nuances of particular situations.

they're sitting over there saying, "well this is how I would approach this for sure! And I would talk to Putin like this in such and such a way!" First of all, no you fucking would not. second off, maybe assess the situation first THEN negotiate?

sorry, but that's a feature for Trump, not a bug.

[Winston]

So Trump is just a typical shitty politician after all?

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

You don't understand, Jerry. Republicans are tired of their politicians always selling out to make deals. They want someone who's really gonna make deals.

[SIV]

shikha sood dalmia ?@shikhadalmia 4m4 minutes ago

The winner of this train wreck called the Republican Party is Obamacare!

I think I'm in love...

[lulztopian]

reason needs to get rid of her and get the fuck out of DC, not necessarily in that order.

I am thoroughly convinced Reason, by moving to Establishment Central, has lost its edge. its now a group of whinging Vox-like writers who are like fish, because fish don't know they are in water. it's not their fault - Washingtonitis afflicts everyone who gets near it.

[SIV]

I admire Shihka's trollish writing. I'd fire Fisher yesterday, Suderman today, and start looking for a Gillespie-replacement tomorrow.

[Winston]

Her "President Obama, who has emboldened Modi's bad behavior by his unabashed feting of him" line is incredibly hypocritical for an entity that supports normalizing relations with Cuba.

[Quincy.]

I hate democracy.

[0x90]

Cruz is elected. Odds that the IRS is abolished?

[jarflax]

all:1

[lulztopian]

i'll put $0.00 on "it will"

[SIV]

Zero

Ron Paul had the only credible plan to abolish the IRS. Return to 1990s-level spending.

[Jerryskids]

Ted Cruz thinks cops and fire fighters and first responders are something Washington DC needs to be concerned with - and he's the small government candidate?

[0x90]

Did you hear how the crowd responds to anything cop-related. Rs love 'em some cops.

[JeremyR]

No, but he thinks he'll get some cheers for it.

[Tejicano]

Exactly zero fucks given about this whole shit show. The best part is when they all shut up

[straffinrun]

5 years to the day, Tejicano.

[Tejicano]

Yup. Five years.

Sorry I wandered away - didn't see your reply until now.

[Jerryskids]

DING DING DING! Donald Trump, anything else you want to say now that nobody gets a chance to respond and we don't have to pretend we're being neutral here but we don't have to report this time to the FEC as a campaign donation?

[lulztopian]

uh oh, we got another guy TDSing over here. some get him some RubioWater stat

[DenverJ]

Yeah, I couldn't take the the comments anymore they were too triggering.
Therefore,I am declaring myself president, and you all can just STFU.
Whiskey may have something to do with my attitude, but at this point that's your fault.
Thank you that is all