Hit & Run

Rubio Skipping CPAC, Guantanamo Plan, Zika Attacks: P.M. Links


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  1. Everything you need to know about President Obama's plan to close Guantanamo.

    It's Congress' fault.

    1. It's been clear since 2009 that President Obama doesn't actually give a shit about closing Gitmo, except to use as a wedge issue.

    2. Hello.

      1. Hello, he grumbles....

    3. OT and more important:


  2. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

    Who isn't?

    1. Susan M said it best this morning; "In the future, everyone will be Hitler for 15 minutes."

      1. There was some reporting in the news this week that Hitler had a micro penis. It said he had a really small dick and as is the case with most micro-penises, he'd have peed out of a hole at the base of his dick as opposed to the tip. But when you think about it, isn't that close to being ambiguous genitalia? And probably the same set-up Angela Merkel has.

        1. Damn, thirty years ago I was acquainted with a German born woman whose Mom was a girlfriend of Eva Braun's in Munich. I never thought to ask her if Eva ever told Mom about Dolph's prowess.

          1. Fromm gathered some interesting accounts on the subject for his ANATOMY OF HUMAN DESTRUCTIVENESS. His sources seemed pretty solid. No micropenis, but still pretty weird.

    2. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

      "And we know authoritarian!", they added as they threw their endorsment in for his campaign.

    3. Vox are in the running for biggest jock-sniffing toadies in the world. I understand that MaatY has a head injury, what's the rest of the team's excuse?

    4. "That's the one where alls I gotta do is press Blue or Red, eh?

    5. When everyone is Hitler, nobody is Hitler. Including Hitler.

      1. I think that was his problem.

  3. Suave, phoning it in per usual.

    1. Literally. He's in his Pontiac Aztec right now sitting in traffic posting from his iPhone 5.

      1. I would have guessed an '85 Land Cruiser with an aftermarket sunroof to let his hair out.

        1. sunroof to let his hair out

          You don't let the elements have free reign with perfection.

          1. The wind doesn't play with Robby's hair, Robby's hair plays with the wind.

          2. Free rein. Like a horse.

            1. Thanks Nikki.

              1. Tow the lion or get out.

        2. He's a libettarian. Obviously he posting from his sedan chair being carried by a team of orphans.

          1. He hasn't achieved station yet.

      2. That is cold, Fist.

        1. Damn right. That's gonna need a Curad, or maybe even some no-stick gauze.

      3. He seems like a "New Buick" kind of guy to me.

      4. I had him pegged as a Fiero man, myself.

        1. Fiero's are pretty "redneck super-car" actually. I don't see that at all.

          I think he got it right with the Aztec on the first shot.

          1. I just assumed he drove whatever car his parents bought him when he went off to college. Probably a PT Cruiser.

    2. Phoning it in? That is some phenomenal trolling.

      1. Robby phone hooooome. Then he touches you with a glowing finger in just the right place.

  4. GOP Senate leaders holding firm on not having Supreme Court nominee hearings... for now.


    1. Um, has he nominated someone? Get back to me when he does and they are still 'holding firm'.

      1. ^This

      2. I know. This all reminds me of when my wife tells my son he can't have something and he runs to me shouting "She said I can't have that!!!" My son is three.

      3. Obama's been seen wandering around with binders full of candidates. Binders. Full. Of. Candidates.

        What more do you want?

    2. "GOP Senate leaders holding firm on not having Supreme Court nominee hearings... for now."

      Meaningless until O'bama sends them a stooge.

    3. It's not a bad strategy. The media is like a two year old on a caffeine high. It doesn't have a long attention span. If they can hold out until Scalia's death is old news, then they can have a lot more power in the nomination battle. Especially with the elections going on. It hard to focus on boring hearing when Trump and Hillary are having a pissing match on live tv.

      1. Caffeine actually increases attention span, especially in kids. I think you mean sugar high.

        1. The "sugar high" is a self-perpetuating myth. I think he means cocaine high.

          1. Not a myth.

            My dad said the same thing, and gave me a copy of the Wall Street Journal article that said as much.

            I assure you that he won't make that mistake again.

            1. Ah, I'd heard the sugar high was a myth too. Which is why I used caffeine. Sure it can help you concentrate if you want to, but two year olds rarely want to concentrate. They are much more likely to use their new found energy to run around in circle shrieking at the top of their lungs.

              1. I dropped the kids off at my parents house for babysitting last year with 1.5 lbs of Jelly Bellies. My dad changed his opinion on the matter.

                I invite anyone who thinks it's a myth to take me up on the offer.

                1. I read a paper which claimed evidence was variable depending on the source of sugar, concluding with an hypothesis, I believe about it being brought on by phytochemical contaminants. I don't think they took into account, however, the variable effect different sugar sources have on glycemic index, which is, from what I've read, a very complex process that isn't completely nailed down. At any rate, I believe that they found little evidence for a sugar high when dosing the subjects with more purified glucose.

                  I think one might also bear in mind the possibility that children need high levels of sugar to maintain optimal brain function and that they are frequently kept in a depressed state through privation, so that when the brain gets enough sugar and switches on it gets weird, since most of the time they're barely squeaking by. And also that barely getting by is probably the natural state for which selection by consequences has made children most well adapted.

              2. The Reason commentariat in a nutshell.

            2. Is a myth.

              There's little evidence to support it and plenty that does not support it. What causes the perceived sugar rush is the child's or parent's belief that sugar causes hyperactivity.

              1. Let me know if you're ever in Los Angeles.

                1. Your experiment won't work due to your children believing sugar makes them hyper. Even if it is not true they will live up to expectations.

                  1. Gee, I never thought of that because I don't take parenting seriously.

                    I've certainly never thought of giving them sugarfree slurpees from 7-11 as a control. Nope, not me.

                    1. Having used a control in a separate experiment in the past doesn't change the fact that experiment you laid out in the commentary doesn't prove anything.

                    2. It's not an experiment. I already know the outcome.

                      It's a lesson for smug people who don't know what the fuck they are talking about.

                    3. If your kids are running around on a sugar high it just means you didn't use enough sugar. Try using a 50-pound bag tied to each leg.

                    4. Sugar free slurpees taste like shit. They probably weren't wired because they wanted to die.

                    5. *writes "A+" on WP's comment*

                    6. You people are buffoons. Just because there are studies showing something to be false doesn't invalidate our actual experiences of things firsthand with our own lying hands and eyes. We are obligated to trust our own judgment before any one else'. I've seen the "sugar high" enough times to have no doubt, and your claims of it being due to suggestion are totally unsupportable in some cases I've known. All the studies show us is that our interpretation of the actual causative factor is probably wrong or incomplete. Along with seeing the sugar high in responses to certain preparations, I have most certainly observed the same subjects NOT reacting this way to substances simply in caffeine and to substances simply high in sugar. It's only certain preparations seem to set it off (although it's a lot of them). It's either something else or else it's a combination of factors.

                    7. For that matter, the basic theory is unsound since in robust individuals blood sugar should not vary that much. Mine, for instance, does not vary significantly no matter what I take or don't take (I have had it closely monitored for periods of time at various times in the past--the doc is determined that I should have a blood sugar problem, partly due to all the steroids and partly due to episodes of fatigue and confusion of undiagnosed etiology, and won't give up trying to catch it in the act. For what it's worth, I never notice any effect on brain power depending on sugar levels. I can not eat for days or eat three fucking meals a day, drink sugar water all day, it doesn't fucking matter, my strength and intelligence seems to follow a rhythmic oscillation with no basis in nutrition, and I'm not sure if there's even any effect from sleep or lack therof, but it's hard to measure since I rarely sleep.). The problem is most people who get the point of measuring blood sugar are either in bad shape or engaged in some kind of extreme lifestyle and their blood sugar isn't as perfectly normalised as it is in folks that live normal lives and subsist on divers forages and bitter herbs and the blood and organs of animals that they killed themselves and know their true names.

                    8. Tripes, by the way, are the thing to make somebody strong again. Sugar may have no effect, but tripes always make me considerably stronger and brighter, ESPECIALLY if I'm down with some debilitating illness like a cold or a flu or something. They work every time. Problem is there is just so much tripes in any animal. Also, when I'm feeling all run down I may think to myself, even tripes won't help me now, but my wife will brow beat me into getting some and next thing you know I'm four times better.

      2. The media is like a two year old on a caffeine high. It doesn't have a long attention span. If they can hold out until Scalia's death is old news

        Who? Trump said something!!!!

      3. Exactly. And the country mostly doesn't care unless the media gives them a reason to. Just shut the fuck up and do nothing.

  5. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

    No shit. Outside of Ron Paul's candidacies, how far would you have to go back to find a Presidential candidate you couldn't say that about?

    1. Gary Johnson?

      1. I forgot about Johnson's short-lived participation in the 2012 Republican primaries.

        (and amend my statement to count only members of our two ruling parties)

        1. I knew what you meant, I just couldn't resist the urge to drop the name. He'll get over 2% this year! I can feel it!

    2. I'd say it's a tad worse given the high ration of 'leader lead us'/actual policy substance.

  6. A federal judge on Tuesday ruled that State Department officials and top aides to Hillary Clinton should be questioned under oath about whether they intentionally thwarted federal open records laws by using or allowing the use of a private email server throughout Clinton's tenure as secretary of state from 2009 to 2013.

    The decision by U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan of Washington came in a lawsuit over public records brought by Judicial Watch, a conservative legal watchdog group, regarding its May 2013 request, for information about the employment arrangement of Huma Abedin, a longtime Clinton aide.

    A State Department official said that the department is aware of the order and that it is reviewing it but declined to comment further, citing the ongoing litigation. Discovery orders are not readily appealable. An attorney for Abedin declined to comment.

    Effin' Judicial Watch! What a bunch of muckrakers!

    1. I saw that on Drudge under the headline "JUDGE QUESTIONS CLINTON MOTIVE FOR SERVER".

      No shit. You and me both, buddy.

      1. I look forward to this being discussed tonight at her town hall.

        1. What is color of the sky wear you live?

      2. Bernie Sanders doesn't understand why anyone would need a choice of mail servers when there are starving children in this country.

        1. The scary part is, this is probably literally true.

        2. Bernie Sanders is going to make Economics work for the 99%, not just the 1%.

          1. This is true, if you don't understand how fractions, or percentages, or math work.

            1. Bernie Sanders is going to make fractions, percentages and math work for the 99%, not just the 5%.

      3. I don't question her decision at all.

        I pretty much accept that avoiding FOIA is why she did it. That and being able to delete her self chosen Personal Emails without the internal IG noticing that the Clinton Family Slush Fund received a healthy donation right after or right before several of her more major decisions.

        Also it is why numerous upper level bureaucrats have been using completely made up names in their day to day emailing at work.

    2. A federal judge on Tuesday ruled that State Department officials and top aides to Hillary Clinton should be questioned...

      What about the Secretary herself? Did the judge not bother with her because she already appeared before Congress or because he knows she won't tell the truth even under oath, so why bother?

      1. Hey! She said she'll keep doing her best to try to be straightforward!

        1. Just like she's still seeing about releasing her Bank speech transcripts.

        2. She said in public the other day that she didn't believe she had ever told a lie.

      2. A good question. But remember that she's playing dumb about this - "you mean with a cloth?"

      3. Better the lackeys, anyway. Does some mid-level bureaucrat really want to go to jail to protect Hillary Clinton?

    3. Ooooo, that's interesting. The decision to prosecute or not might get mostly taken out of the DOJ's hands. If other lawsuits prove that she and her cronies were purposely trying to thwart the law, then the DOJ will lose what little cover it has left to hide behind.

        1. Yes it is. Which means the DOJ isn't in charge of it going ahead or not. The findings in this case won't be beyond a shadow of a doubt, but that hardly matters from the perspective of if a criminal case should be filed or not.

          1. Which is why people often invoke the fifth amendment during civil proceedings.

            1. Which should be a reply to Tonio below.

        2. But anything that comes to light during that is fair game for prosecution, right?

          1. I doubt anything will come to light. The lawyers will broker a deal.

            1. Probably. Ugh.

            2. Does Judicial watch have a reason to accept a deal? It seems they'll want the precedent that this activity is not okay more than a payout.

    4. Umm...the intent to circumvent open records laws has been the most obvious thing from the beginning.

  7. "Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox." That is an obvious statement based on poll numbers that require absolutely no manipulation, yet somehow Vox still manages to put a little extra spin on it, because Vox.

  8. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

    Takes one to know one!

  9. Inmates Eating Pieces Of Jail, Costing Taxpayers Millions

    "The doctor was like, 'He's gonna [sic] make it, if he just stops eating (expletive)."

    Guess he ain't gonna make it.

    1. That's why you don't let witch contractors build your jail. Sure, magic gingerbread is cheaper than concrete in the short term, but it always leads to trouble in the long run.

  10. In the ENB article there was an 'anti-sex trafficking' organization called Fierce Freedom that got mentioned.

    Boy are they hilarious.

    My favorite is the stat they have that 435 pimps were arrested in the state of Nevada between 1996 and 2007.

    So in 12 years, there were about 30 pimps arrested annually in the state most known for prostitution, and apparently this is a serious problem.


    "In the United States there are an estimated 100,000 ? 300,000 children prostituted each year.

    33% of children that run away are lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home.

    Mortality rate for prostitutes can be as much as 100 times greater than the general population.

    ?The average entry age of girls into prostitution is 12 ? 14 and the average entry age of boys into prostitution is 11 ? 13.

    46% of prostitutes attempt suicide "

    You know they're telling the truth because they don't give you any citations.

    1. This is my favorite:

      "33% of children that run away are lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home."

      Apparently kiddie pimps have magical child detecting radar so that they can round up 1 out of every 3 runaways in the country within 2 days. They're the most efficient intelligence agency on the planet.

      1. Or, don't even bother looking after 2 days because it's too late.

      2. And the rest were in it from the Gitmo, uh, *get go*.

    2. Most of those numbers are complete bullshit and have been repeatedly debunked by many people. See here from the awesome Maggie McNeill.


    4. *hat tip, Crusty Juggler, who is not a black man, but I steal from him as though he is black*

      1. That's ridiculous. Irish thinks that only black people steal, not that they're to be stolen from.

        1. I don't believe in black people. They're just a myth parents tell to scare their kids, like the Boogie Man or the female orgasm.

          1. I don't believe in black people.

            This would seem to be related to the Paul Anka Method

        2. Except through systemic racism

        3. OK, I gotta ask: how did the "Irish is racist" meme start?

          1. There was a post about cops being racist by pulling over more black people than white people and I said that could be because black people commit more traffic violations. I used the fact that African Americans have higher crime rates as an example of how black people getting in trouble more often isn't proof that it's because the cops are bigots.

            The story is not interesting.

            1. There was a post about cops being racist by pulling over more black people than white people and I said that could be because black people commit more traffic violations. I used the fact that African Americans have higher crime rates as an example of how black people getting in trouble more often isn't proof that it's because the cops are bigots is a good thing.

              What actually happened

              1. Stop fucking up the record! I specifically said no one should be pulled over for seat belt tickets ever!

                /what actually happened

            2. That's not how we're remembering it.

  11. Harsyani: Why President Trump Would Be A Bigger Disaster Than Hillary


    He's right, as usual.

    1. You always seemed like a Hillary man.

    2. The myth that Democrats get everything will persist. But despite plenty of well-earned criticism, the GOP has been a more effective minority party than constituents give them credit for. People are frustrated, but the idealists have (had?) been gaining ground since the Tea Party emerged. Their presence has put a stop to an array of progressive reform efforts that the pre-2010 GOP would surely have gone along with.

      Is that a link to the Onion?

      1. It is a link to somebody fucking divorced from reality, wherever it goes. The GOP desperately wants status quo and has been the party of pants-shitting political cowardice for nearly a decade.

    3. Republicans would almost certainly unite against her agenda,...

      The party that has gone ass up for the last seven and a half years is suddenly going to find their balls and fight against Hillary's executive decisions? Possible but not probable.

      I like Harsyani, but this smacks of wishful thinking.

      1. The GOP has been too permissive to Obama but it's a myth that they've been totally passive. I can't get it right now because FireFox sucks but Forbes has an article about how the GOP has stopped internet taxes. People forget the of the presidency.

        1. And people say I am the Republican hack. We are just one more Republican victory in Congress from the Libertarian moment arriving!!

          1. The Slayer of Strawmen cometh.

            1. You forgot RED TONY.

              Come on tell us about the virtues and achievements of the Republican Congress.

              1. Bailing out GM! Did I do that right?

        2. ...the GOP has stopped internet taxes.

          And I am grateful for that.

          As a counter to your point, how is the Fed. budget now as compared to eight years ago? The GOP got their collective asses handed to them over the sequester. The Paul Ryan budget cannot even remotely be called fiscally responsible.

          My only real point is the GOP, especially Establishment types, are not fighters. Haven't ever been, and probably never will be. Expecting behavior from them that they do not evince is folly.

      2. Anyone without raging mental illness feel free to say something. Sorry Red Tony, that excludes you.

        1. We are only trying to help you. I keep thinking, no one could be as dumb as you are and stay that way. And you just keep proving me wrong.

            1. John is way better than a Red Tony, I don't care what you say.

    4. Trump's inclination is never to free Americans from the state ("we're gonna take care of everybody!") but rather to do a better job administering the state through great deals and assertive leadership.

      There's not much arguing against this except using the petulant, foot-stomping "Hillary is the ultimate evil and not supporting Trump is tantamount to supporting her" argument, which John has already supplied a wonderful example of in this very thread.

      1. Remember the tantrum John threw when we weren't overjoyed by Romneybot picking Ryan as VP? He's getting EVEN MORE RETARDED. He's already trying to explain to us that Trump's trade policy is fine because 'every other nation does it'.

        1. Remember the time Cytoxic said the rape and murder of a woman in Sweden was "nothing" and the other time when he said it must of been Germans who raped all of those women in Cologne?

          Great times.

          1. Stop lying.

            1. That is exactly what you said. Do I need to get the link and rub your nose in it?

              1. Stop lying.

                1. You want to walk back on it then? You think the rapes going on in Europe are a big deal and that it is Muslim refugees who are responsible? If you have reconsidered, that is your choice.

        2. Oh goody, another John vs. Cytotoxic derpfest.

            1. Umm....is there something I should know about?

              1. I am aroused by the textual heavy petting you and John engage in.

                1. Crusty,

                  Just because your website won't take my credit card, doesn't mean I won't put on a free show for you. Glad to hear you are enjoying.

                2. You must have missed the John and MNG lovefests. Cytotoxic and John pale in comparison. John and MNG was like Jenna Jameson before lots of surgery and her thousand yard stare.

      2. Are you stupid and don't understand humor? You never struck me as very bright but I figured you were brighter than that.

        I was fucking with Cytoxic. I am not making nor have I made that argument. If you have something to say beyond shitting your pants over THE TRUMP, please say it.

        1. "Are you stupid and don't understand humor?"

          Again: the lack of awareness, the irony...

          You're one of the dumbest people here and your sense of humor is shitty.

          1. You only think that because you don't understand we are laughing at you not with you.

            1. Ah yes, 'we'. You and your imaginary friends at the asylum.

    5. It makes no sense.

      Well. You KNOW what Republicans will do.

    6. I was arguing about Trump and his lack of conservative credibility with somebody and brought up the fact that the TEA Party primaried out some GOP RINOs as proof the GOP actually had some principles - she argued that this simply proved the GOP were more ideological purists. Toe the party line or get cast out in the GOP whereas in the Democrat Party you can have any position on anything and still be considered a loyal member, no litmus tests for the D's. I just don't understand that thought process - you can't believe certain things and still be considered a Republican and that's ideological rigidity rather than core principals? Something like the TEA Party could never exist in the Democrat Party because there's no bedrock beliefs anybody can accuse you of failing to adhere to? (Not that I'm arguing the GOP has much in the way of principles or that they're good principles or that there aren't in fact some Democrat bright lines, but it does seem that the GOP has certain things you gotta at least pay lip service to moreso than the Dems. Is that a bad thing for a party to have?)

  12. Cop Caught Masturbating To Cell Phone Porn In Patrol Car Is Arrested For Misconduct

    Marshall Hardin [yes, that's really his name] "was watching adult pornography on his personal cell phone while rubbing his penis through his uniform pants."

    Well, at least he still had his personal weapon holstered.

          1. You're not getting a hat-tip either.

          2. Ah. Sorry.

            *** goes back to work on H&R-scanning bot ***

        1. "Officer Richard Hardin, a graduate of Cocksymthe University, is a firm believer in Broken Windows Policing. When asked for an opinion on Officer Hardin's hard but fair punishments, Private Eye Richard Johnson had this to say; 'If there was a little blue pill you could take to wash away the embarrassment of a fuck-up, Dick's on hand to cover your fuck-up easy as swallowing that pill with dinner."

      1. "You get zero credit."

        Ahem. You posted that at 2:20. You need to scroll up to 2:18.

    1. That's the second most ridiculous cop self-love story of the month, behind the one who claimed that he only did it to aid in digestion after a big breakfast.

      Still not sure how that works.

      1. "but was only playing with himself after having a big breakfast, which can only be described as cop logic."

        A Denny's grand slam really gets the juices flowing.

        1. So...."Grand Slam, Thank you, Ma'am"?

          1. +1 Rooty Tooty Rich and Fruity

    2. The details of that story are even worse. Turns out the "porn" he was looking at was SIV's blog.

      1. Those bloomers can really get a man going.

        1. SIV's blog is the only thing I have not 'bated to on this website, and yes, I am including more than one Kim Davis thread.

          1. Kim did have a very sultry gaze and a smashing fashion sense

      2. Is that still up? I thought it was a joke.

        1. You should bet anyone to see if they can get off to it.

          1. 100 to 1 against. But there are some sick fucks out there.

    3. Hardin subsequently exited the patrol car and exposed himself so that he could "stroke his penis two times."

      The complaint adds that Hardin "put his penis back in his pants," and "went into the restroom in the public park to finish ejaculating."

      Hardin, who is free on bond, is no longer a member of the Camden police force.

  13. NATO = Upset That Non-NATO-Forces Ignore Their Demands

    - "We gave them training!?" 'Coalition' officer complained. "Why won't they just go fight our wars now?"

    1. "If only we made acting against our policies illegal, then this would stop happening."

      There will be consequences

  14. Fourteen new Zika investigations in the U.S.

    I don't give two fucks about Zika... I ain't a pregnant woman.

    1. I have heard it also may cause paralysis.

    2. If it goes pandemic there could be a whole generation of seriously retarded people. Inevitably, they will be supported at taxpayer expense. There's your self-interest right there.

      1. With CRISPR editing's ethical clearance, we will know if the baby will be born with defects. Alpha Groups, Beta Groups, Gamma Groups, Delta Groups, and Aborted Groups will be populated by machines during pre-natal screening.

        It's gonna work itself out friend. Individual liberties and the logical conclusion of abortions. No unwanted pregnancies, no unwanted unforeseen consequences. Stay young forever, let Riven's "Breeders" sort it out.

        1. It's not so simple for women who want healthy babies and don't want to abort them.

          1. Well, are you suggesting that people may be ideologically opposed to abortion?

            Be that as it may, the projections won't lie, the doctors WILL show the women the pictures of microcephaly, the doctors WILL discuss the costs of raising a special needs child, and the doctor WILL as a matter of course, bring up the possibility of abortion.

            I agree there is a class of person that will be stuck in between practicality and personal dogma, and that is why I hope there is enough of an incentive or philanthropy budget to craft some sort of "cure." I don't see humanity escaping eugenics based arguments, especially in the interest of the baby's financial situation once born. Abort a healthy baby, fairly divisive. Abort a sickly baby that will be thrice as expensive as a healthy baby (in all SES), fairly one sided.

            1. Abort a sickly baby that will be thrice as expensive as a healthy baby (in all SES), fairly one sided.

              So infanticide is a one sided debate as well? If not, then what is it about the magic trip down the birth canal that changes things?

              1. Killing sick children is so easy John, what are you some kind of monster?

            2. No, ACGZ, in a very few months they will not need for doctors to show them pictures of microencephalic babies; there will be enough microencephalics around them that those women will have seen for themselves what the deal is.

            3. Poes law is kicking in hard

      2. Though in the case of these women, maybe you wouldn't be able to tell the difference in their offspring "oh you were just in the country with all the microencephaly causing bugs? Lol, cool! Let's have unprotected sex!"

      3. Exactly. We do not need more progs.

      4. there could be a whole generation of seriously retarded people. Inevitably, they will be supported at taxpayer expense. There's your self-interest right there.

        So Zika's already ravaged the nation.

        1. If it goes pandemic there could be a whole generation of seriously retarded people.

          Conditional statements, how do they fucking work?

          1. *facepalm*

            The jokes don't come with a roadmap, Tonio.

      5. How would we know the difference?

        1. *rimshot*

          Let's hear it for Lord Rollingpin, ladies and germs.

          *honks bicycle horn*

          These are the jokes, Tonio. Do you want us to juggle too?

      6. If it goes pandemic there could be a whole generation of seriously retarded people. Inevitably, they will be supported at taxpayer expense. There's your self-interest right there.

        What's the difference between that and millenials?

      7. If it goes pandemic there could be a whole generation of seriously retarded people. Inevitably, they will be supported at taxpayer expense. There's your self-interest right there.

        What's the difference between that and millenials?

      8. God, not another one.

  15. Peter King Endorses Rubio

    "Republicans can't afford to forfeit this race to Hillary Clinton by nominating the wrong candidate," King said in a statement.

    "I'm endorsing Marco Rubio because he has all the ingredients for a winning campaign: inspiration, judgement, and vision."
    King, who flirted with a presidential run himsefl, said Rubio can be trusted to "deliver real results" when he is in the White House. The representative's main issue is national security, which he said Rubio understands.

    To people who pay attention at least, I'd imagine this is a wet, slobbering kiss of death.

    1. I'm shocked he didn't endorse Trump, given their agreement on "kill all brown people".

      Cruz is probably out, because that terrorism citizenship law might hurt his IRA buddies.

      1. Zing and zing.

    2. Is getting an endorsement from another politician supposed to make people more inclined to support you? Because it always has the opposite effect on me.

  16. Microsoft is fighting the Feds over an order to turn over customer data

    Warning: auto-play video.

    In 2013, the U.S. Department of Justice served Microsoft with a subpoena and a search warrant for emails that live in a data center in Ireland. Microsoft is refusing to comply because it believes those emails should be off-limits to the U.S. government until Ireland gives the okay.

    Later in the article:

    So why haven't U.S. prosecutors just asked Ireland for the emails? That process involves too much red tape in the digital age, the U.S. government argued. If a server were housed in a country with an unfriendly government, the United States might not be able to clear the necessary hurdles to extract data it could need as part of future investigations.

    1. That process involves too much red tape in the digital age

      That sentence sums up everything wrong with government bureaucracy.

    2. So wait - shouldn't Microsoft do what the FBI is asking?

  17. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

    Certainly contemptible, too.

  18. Comment and Question Time with Cytotoxic: one of the more problematic memes I keep hearing around this place, from the comments to the writers, is that the Middle East works better with dictators. This may not always be outright stated, but it's often implied. "Assad is the least worst option." and "He keeps the crazies in line."

    I do not advocate using US/western military might to overthrow dictators in wars of altruism/spreading democracy, but this is wrong. If it were true, Syria would be peaceful and Tunisia would be in total chaos. Dictatorships like these always end in blood and tears from Yugoslavia to Yemen. Algeria is another example but the regime suvived with massive cost in blood.

    1. These 'secular' ME dictators are also a myth. Saddam's 'Faith Campaign' Wahhabified the Iraqi Baath party and Iraqi society starting as far back as 1993. Assad and other secular dictators may not spread Islamism, but their state propaganda organs disseminate anti-western and anti-semitic propaganda, which I believe often enables the Islamists. Further, they impose the kind of economic dysfunction that tends to engender Islamism. Libya was a terrorist wellspring for decades before Qaddhafi was overthrown-even B2TF referenced this. Worse, these 'secular' types often work with Islamists, which makes a farce of their claimed utility against radical Islam. Saddam hooked up with kooky violent Islamic groups. Assad had links to Fatah Al-Islam, and that doesn't even get into his alliance with Hezbollah. "Secular" Egypt under Hosni Mubarak had Islamic laws on the book.

      I don't share Ken Schultz's love of toppling these guys to bring democracy to the ME but he is totally right that tyrants aren't going to either improve the ME or make it less dangerous.

      1. Arab liberation is an Arab problem. The US should butt out. It has already created more enemies than it can afford.

        When the contest is only with native rulers, and with such native strength as those rulers can enlist in their defence, the answer I should give to the question of the legitimacy of intervention is, as a general rule, No. The reason is, that there can seldom be anything approaching to assurance that intervention, even if successful, would be for the good of the people themselves. The only test possessing any real value, of a people's having become fit for popular institutions, is that they, or a sufficient portion of them to prevail in the contest, are willing to brave labour and danger for their liberation. I know all that may be said, I know it may be urged that the virtues of freemen cannot be learnt in the school of slavery, and that if a people are not fit for freedom, to have any chance of becoming so they must first be free. And this would be conclusive, if the intervention recommended would really give them freedom. But the evil is, that if they have not sufficient love of liberty to be able to wrest it from merely domestic oppressors, the liberty which is bestowed on them by other hands than their own, will have nothing real, nothing permanent. No people ever was and remained free, but because it was determined to be so...

        JS Mill

        1. 1) There's no evidence the US has created enemies.

          2) I never said the US should intervene that's just more strawmanning.

          3) Arab dysfunction is spitting out terrorists that hate us for our freedoms.

      2. There is the idea that Islam is the Religion of Peace which makes the Islamic societies rather hostile to democracy and liberal Western ideas. "Islam" itself means submission and the peace they speak of is the peace that comes from submission, what we might more refer to as the peace of the grave. Here, we question the Word of Authority so as better to understand it, it's how you test theories and knowledge. In Islam it is death to even ask questions because that suggests a weakness in your faith. It might be even a badge of honor, a sign of your faith, that you can hold contradictory beliefs simultaneously if that is what is commanded of you. It's an extremely authoritarian religion and it permeates the whole culture. There's not a whole lot of room for the openly atheistic or gay or feminist or, well, anything that ain't Islamic. People really do die as a result of being merely accused of being heretics or blasphemers or something less than devoutly pious. Can you really imagine there's much in the way of political philosophy discussion in a country where you can get stoned to death for even suggesting maybe we should think about the possibility of not treating women as property? How does anything ever change in a society where suggesting things might possibly be better some other way is liable to get you killed? It really is a religion of death because its decay is built right into the system - it is prohibited to change anything, ever.

        1. It's why the various factions of Islam are so murderous to one another - the Truth is absolute and each one knows the other is wrong and to openly speak your wrong words is to merit death. You must kill anybody who disagrees with you. They seriously believe that. How do you deal with such people? How do you try to teach them the basic Western liberal idea that everybody's entitled to their own opinion? They cannot fathom such a thing. Muslims don't try to argue with you, they don't try to persuade you, they don't try to explain to you - they know the Truth, they tell you the Truth, if you refuse to accept the Truth you're either retarded or crazy or evil and must be gotten rid of. There's nothing to discuss, it's not like there's anything to explain, the Truth just is. They don't think that this is true, they know with every fiber of their being that it is so.

          1. This explanation doesn't hold. Albania isn't totalitarian and it's mostly Muslim. The Kurds are in the right direction and so is Morocco. It's an Arab culture problem also seen amongst Christian Arabs.

    2. Argument goes the middle east would be better off with the dictator they chose for themselves, than a puppet democracy we set up vs. the new dictator they chose for themselves. You can't change a person's government for them. The new government won't have the support network of a naturally occurring governing body that allows it some manner of stability. Us fucking around over there just gets a lot more people killed.

      1. "You can't change a person's government for them"

        That's obviously nonsense seeing as how it's been done before.

      2. "Argument goes the middle east would be better off with the dictator they chose for themselves"

        I don't think you get to choose a dictator for yourself.

        Just saying.

        1. No dictator gets into power on his own. He's got an entire network of cronies working for him. Also by chose, I more meant opposite of puppet government. Something that occurred due to the local conditions.

          1. Still not 'chosen for themselves'.

        2. I don't think you get to choose a dictator for yourself.

          Not instantly, but a dictatorship gets its start with the consent of the people. One way or another.

          1. "Homegrown" I think maybe is the word you're looking for. A French dictator and an Australian dictator are not going to be exactly the same thing because they'll each have some things unique to French or Australian culture. It's how they get some degree of support initially, by appealing to some native attribute. A Frenchman might be able to impose a dictatorship on Australia (or vice versa) for some period of time, but not without a buttload of muscle to back him up and unless he adopts some of the local customs real quick, goes native as they say, he's never going to gain any sort of acceptance as a legitimate ruler and will never have a peaceful reign.

            (Kinda makes you wonder about American culture that our homegrown Il Douche is Donald Trump. Sort of embarrassing that we're represented by some crude rude fat-headed thin-skinned vain loud arrogant bullying braggart liar who not only thinks he's better than everybody else at everything and has to constantly tell you so but also feels compelled to constantly tell everybody else what worthless pieces of shit they are for not being him. Is that, at heart, what "American" is really all about? Apparently so. Why else would we believe if we just went to other countries and beat the shit out of them hard enough they'd all want to be just like us?)

            1. "crude rude fat-headed thin-skinned vain loud arrogant bullying braggart liar who not only thinks he's better than everybody else at everything and has to constantly tell you so but also feels compelled to constantly tell everybody else what worthless pieces of shit they are for not being him."

              AKA typical New Yorker.

          2. History, people, history. He who shall not be named was freely chosen by the German people. Julius Caesar was proclaimed Imperator by his troops, and his flunkies floated the idea of him being proclaimed king, and, finding the people against it, Julius did not go that route. Most, if not all, dictators through out history had the enthusiastic support of a majority. Lincoln, for example.

            1. Lincoln was not a dictator.

    3. A chaotic ME is the desired end game.

      1. ....what?

    4. Was that a joke?

      You seriously use the term "problematic"?

      1. All the young people are using it.

      2. I thought you guys would like it.

  19. I posted this before but it's so good I'm posting it again: Why DT will never make to it to the WH.


    Educated people 1) vote more than uneducated ones and 2) hate Donaldo.

    1. Ah, HA! No wonder the Dems want everyone to go to college!

    2. The alternatives (Sanders or Clinton) aren't that good, either.

      1. Harsyani has a piece I link to above that eloquently explains why Hillary is the better choice.

        I would take Bloomberg or better yet early stage cancer over any of those options.

        1. Harsyani has a piece I link to above that eloquently explains why Hillary is the better choice.

          I would take Bloomberg or better yet early stage cancer over any of those options.

          I am so saving that. You have finally dropped the mask.

          1. No John. You just don't understand anything beyond Kultr War caricatures.

            1. Tell me more how Hillary is the better choice You said it dude. Not me.

                1. I did. And it is all about how wonderful the Republican Congress is. I didn't know you were such a party guy.

                  And I also didn't know but am not surprised you don't' give a fuck about gun rights. If you did, you wouldn't think Bloomburg is such a great choice. You really are dropping the mask today aren't you?

        1. Let me be clear. There is no sugarcoating going on here.

  20. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

    You can't be *wrong* all the time, either.

    1. Who's supporters are not a bunch of authoritarians?

      1. Whose. I actually can't blame that one on my phone.

  21. John Kerry = Pretends People Are Paying Attention to Him

    He waved his hands an said there shall be a cease-fire in Syria

    "Secretary of State John Kerry said the United States would soon know if the plan would take hold. "The proof will be in the actions that come in the next days," he told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in Washington.... The next month or two would show if that transition process was serious and Assad would have to make "some real decisions about the formation of a transitional governance process that's real. If there isn't ... there are certainly Plan B options being considered", Kerry said."

    Plan B = "wave hands more".

    Meanwhile, Russia and Assad are about to capture Aleppo, and ISIS (not a party to these cease-fire talks) is getting in on the action there too.

    I sincerely doubt any of the fighting for that city is going to pause for a second while Kerry exercises his jaw muscles.

    1. I'm going to say it. I loathe John F'ing 'Catsup' Kerry. He has earned every derogatory name he has been called.

      1. Oh, come on. I'm sure there are some even worse derogatory names, possibly in other languages, which he hasn't been called yet. And I would bet he has fully earned the right to be so addressed.

    2. Is he still alive?

    1. they hoped his phone would help establish a motive

      Sheesh, just get Apple to ask his wife.

      1. Yes, they really need that motive in order to prosecute him for murders he's confessed to.

  22. Someone takes Debbie Wasserman Shultz' idea of "There should never be ANY restrictions on abortion" a little too seriously

      1. Oh so you would limit it to the 21st trimester? You monster! Think of the children, oh no wait, don't think about them.

  23. If I were Obama, I would nominate someone who I thought had at least a possibility of being confirmed. Not a left wing ideologue. If it's someone not totally horrible, the Senate is going to have to ask themselves if they want to bet that Hillary or Bernie won't win. Because I guarantee that whomever they nominate will be horrible. Both have said that they will have a litmus test for Citizens United. Or they could hold out for Trumps nomination. If he wins. Big if.

    1. Or they could hold out for Trumps nomination. If he wins. Big if.

      So he can select his nominee via a reality TV show or something? What's your basis for thinking that Trump would nominate someone less terrible than Hillary or Bernie would? Less terrible enough to matter, anyway.

      1. I have no basis for thinking that. Which just reinforces my point that if Obama sends someone not terrible they probably better think twice about playing hardball.

    2. I think that's the major consideration.

      Also, another almost-as-likely scenario: the Rs wins the White House but lose the Senate (totally possible with the number of Senate seats the Rs have to defend). There are 17 days between when the new Senate is sworn in and the new President is sworn in; Obama could totally nominate somebody on the first day and the Ds in the Senate can nuke the process to jam the nominee through with 51 votes.

      1. I know it's technically possible, but I don't see the Republicans winning the presidency but loosing the senate. The Democrats have an electoral college advantage going in. The Republicans will need a very high percentage of their voters to actually, you know, vote in the un-foreordained states. Which means the Republicans keep the senate, IMHO.

  24. Has the War on Hundred Dollar Bills been covered here?

    Critics who oppose such changes say the big bills make it easier for people to keep their savings in cash, especially in countries with negative interest rates. Some people also prefer not to conduct transactions electronically because they fear security breaches. But these are relatively minor burdens compared with the potential benefits of reducing criminal activity and tax evasion.

    Tax evasion is the real crime.

    1. Yeah, it's weird that "tax evasion" is separate from "criminal activity". Do people not realize it's a crime to evade your taxes?

      1. They're not MY taxes.

  25. So are Cytotoxic and John going to fuck or are we going to have to watch this unresolved sexual tension from now til the end of time?

    1. I don't know, i thought C.'s Hillary-endorsement was an interesting new development.

      1. That doesn't surprise me at all.

    2. Is SugarFree available for some freelance work? Reason Hit & Run Yaoi.

      1. This is The End.

    3. Cripple Fight Fuck!!!!!!!

      1. I thought that was supposed to be gimp porn


    Carson Says Obama Was "Raised White"

    Is Barack going to have to choke a bitch? I confess, there's something sort of appealing about Ben, the soft-spoken Smack-Talker

    I think if he's going to be ending his candidacy soon, he might as well get a few good shots in.

    1. best retort =

      "Shaun King (@ShaunKing), civil rights activist and New York Daily News writer, said, "Please @RealBenCarson. Step away from ALL microphones...forever. Saying Obama "grew up white" is foolishness.""

      1. "And if anyone knows about growing up white, it's me!"

    2. I wouldn't be surprised if the left goes ahead and agrees with them just so they can keep that authentic black narrative alive. Obama's already served his use to them.

      1. It would be the one time the Left ever told the truth, if they did.

    3. I wouldn't be surprised if the left goes ahead and agrees with them just so they can keep that authentic black narrative alive. Obama's already served his use to them.

    4. "You cannot distill the black experience into something so narrow."

      Wait. Just what are you implying?

      1. Carson is saying that Obama likes skinny butts, which proves his hypothesis.

  27. NFL player caught on cameranot doing anything

    A video of a fight featuring an NFL player showed up on TMZ Tuesday, but Jaguars defensive end Dante Fowler wasn't one of the people throwing punches.

    He left that to two women, believed to be his girlfriend and the mother of his child, near the elevator of an apartment complex in Florida. Fowler watches the two women fight for a period of time before eventually separating them as displayed in a series of still shots from the video.

    1. "I am embarrassed and have apologized for my actions to everyone involved," Fowler said in a statement. "As a family, we have been dealing with this moment and the conflict that led to it since this occurred. The video surfacing is a sad reminder that emotions got the best of all of us. I take 100 percent responsibility for everything that happened."

      1. From the comments:

        "There is very little in life as satisfying as watching two Obama Zombie Snapperheads beat the snot out of each other? and apparently, Dante feels the same way."

        Pure. Class.

        1. It even has more thumbs up than down.

  28. Carson Says Obama Was "Raised White"

    Is Barack going to have to choke a bitch?

    "Is you calling me a haole? Cuz I won't stand for that."

    1. Apparently, girls in bikinis lying on their bellies and shooting guns is a thing on youtube.

      1. Someone just found a new hobby.

    Fuck you, Amazon.

    1. Who you going to poison?

        1. I watch too many Forensic Files.

      1. Were I going to poison someone, I'd ... never mind. I might need that one day.

    2. Can you not buy it in hardware stores in California? Is it known to cause cancer?

      1. You can't find Advion in stores. It's a "professional" product. But it fucking works.

        1. I love that shit. It's by far the best.

          1. I wish I knew about it a year ago. It brings me great pleasure.

  30. How many of the Trump primary votes have/will come from Hillary voters attempting to throw the R race into (further) disarray? A meaningful number?

    1. I think that's a serious stretch.

      the only states where Hillary has such a commanding lead over Sanders that it could be a conceivable strategy... are places where Trump himself already dominates. i.e. "the south".

    2. I've have not heard that discussed. I think a large number of Trump votes are coming from democrats who support Trump though.

    3. While the Democrat race is tight, I doubt many of Hillary's supporters will wander far.

    4. I heard a bunch of people joking that they might do that, but I don't think any actually did.

  31. Bill Gates 'Disappointed' by Reports He Backs FBI in iPhone Fight


  32. I'm just grasping at straws.

  33. I think a large number of Trump votes are coming from democrats who support Trump though.

    I definitely agree with that. "Working class" Democrats who swallow that codswallop about "We don't make anything in this country any more!" and think kkkorporate plunderers have exported all the good jobs to China are definitely susceptible to the Trumpista line.

    1. I agree with you, at least in theory, but then where would you see the greatest effect of that? The Rust Belt?

  34. OK, didn't check if this was posted already. Seems that Zika is doing a number on Venezuela, and that the government is in denial and is blaming Colombia for the outbreak. Sorry for the Venezuelans, but I hope they hang their government high after this is over.

    1. Starvation wasn't reason enough?

    2. Sorry for the Venezuelans, but I hope they hang their government high after this is over.

      I'd say there's even odds they'll just demand more of it.

    3. Apparently mosquito repellent is impossible to find, even on the black market.

  35. Trump supporters are a bunch of authoritarians, says Vox.

    This from roughly 90 seconds of me looking at the linked article:

    In the five days leading up to the South Carolina Republican primary I fielded a survey of 358 likely voters, hoping to better understand who supports Donald Trump, why, and what it may mean for the Republican presidential nominating contest.

    What I found is a trend that has been widely overlooked. A voter's gender, education, age, ideology, party identification, income, and race simply had no statistical bearing on whether someone supported Trump. Neither, despite predictions to the contrary, did evangelicalism.

    Here is what did: authoritarianism, by which I mean Americans' inclination to authoritarian behavior. When political scientists use the term authoritarianism, we are not talking about dictatorships but about a worldview.

    Ooh, scary! So he puts out a survey, and then interprets it for the proles -- he must know something about statistical analysis.

    Matthew MacWilliams is a founder of MacWilliams Sanders, a political communications firm, and a PhD candidate in political science at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where he is writing his dissertation about authoritarianism.

    What?! He's just a fucking PoliSci BA bitch who's lampshading a dissertation about a topic he knows nothing about? What a shock, coming from Vox. Fucking do your jobs, Reason.

    1. Wow! A hammer looks into an issue and finds out, unexpectedly, it is a nail.

  36. Hey! I was a PoliSci BA! I also worked towards a useless BA in History! And a useless minor in Economics!
    You, sir, are not talking enough trash about PoliSci BAs, and I demand more!

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