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  1. Indonesia takes a stand against same-sex emojis.

    Aren’t they all gay?

    1. Hello.

      1. Biggest game of the year in calcio tomorrow, Rufus, who you got? I don’t dislike this iteration of Juve — they’re incredibly well run and largely likeable with Dybala, Marchisio and of course Gigi — but I’m hoping Napoli can at the very least get a point in Turin tomorrow.

        1. Very tough one. Not sure. One thing I know, this is Napoli’s time to put up or shut up. This could decide the league title.

          Yeh, Juve have a nice bunch of players. But as good as they are, I don’t think they can take Bayern over two legs. I could be wrong since Serie A does well against Bundesliga but man is Bayern a machine.

          Dybala was considered as great a phenom as Messi in the Argentinian youth academies.

          1. I suspect you’re right — Bayern are likely too good for Juve. But if form means anything, both Morata and Dybala have been excellent of late, and Bayern weren’t particularly good away to Leverkusen. Juve will almost certainly look to sit back and hit on the counter.

            Dybala is just fantastic. I really got to see his range of skills against Roma a few weeks ago. It was largely a dull game, but Dybala’s hold-up play at times was superb, and the quickness with which he was able to get the ball out from under his feet and score (from a tough angle, no less) was brilliant.

        2. This one is easy folks – Juventus is team evil. Napoli all the way.

    2. I thought emojis were gender-neutral. Or gender-fluid? Wait. *Non-binary*!

  2. Although the number of dementia cases is at an all time high, the dementia rate is declining.

    But enough about the Dem debate…

    1. Scientists recently managed to reverse dementia symptoms in mice… but I don’t think it’ll help Bernie, his problems aren’t age-related.

      1. He seems to be suffering from some kind of life-long delusion. A century of constant proofs that it is in fact a delusion has not helped.

        1. I’ve heard some things about his early years as a failed carpenter and his aversion to work.

          Worth reading up on out of curiosity as I’m not about to vote for him regardless.

      2. The 1870s have no bearing?

        1. Dude, you exaggerate. Bernie’s not 1,870 years old – in fact, he’s not a day over 712.

  3. A tale of two customer service experiences.

    Being an antisocial asshole (I post here, so you should know this already), I tend to shop online for a significant percentage of my purchases in a given time period. This means I deal with deliveries on a frequent basis. This past holiday season, UPS foisted it’s “access point” system on an unwilling and unsuspecting user base. The one they chose for me is only open while I’m at work. It is also inconvenient to get in and out of (its parking lot entrance is a blind intersection without a light off of a busy street). The distribution center is easier to get to, despite being two miles more distant, and is open much later into the evening.

    So once again one of my orders ends up dumped at the access point, and I contact UPS to ask “Will you please stop doing that?” The first human I spoke to kept going “but the access point is only a mile away from your place”, ignoring my complaints that it’s not open when I can get to it, meaning it might as well be on the far side of the moon for all the good it does me. I eventually get them to put in the request to move the box to the distribution center, but they say they can’t make it so that future packages don’t go to the “access point” and I have to do that through their website.

    (1/3)

    1. After an hour of trying to find where in the website I set that option to “don’t do it” I contact UPS again to ask where I make that change. This time I’m told “you can’t do that universally, it has to be done for each and every single package individually as they’re shipped.” After a gratingly long debate, he eventually says that the shipper can say “No Access Point Delivery” on a package, but the recipient (for whom it actually matters) has no say in the matter beforehand.

      Fed up with this, I leave my angry comments on the customer satisfaction survey they ask me to fill out, and go to Amazon to see if I can get them to flag my orders as “No Access Point Delivery”. After my first e-mail trying to find out how to go about doing this, I get a more or less immediate (same day) response of an: appology, even though it wasn’t Amazon who’s been giving me a hard time; a statement of intent to send my request to the appropriate party within Amazon for that change going forward; and a one-month extension of my prime membership even though I had made no indication of even being irritated at Amazon for what UPS was doing.

      (2/3)

      1. The matter is ongoing – I still haven’t gotten my $13 can of cleaner, but the issue is a matter of principle and long-term viability. If I have to go to a retail outlet in a retail location during retail hours, why should I bother having anything delivered at all?

        Still, I’m surprised at the contrast in reactions between the two companies (the one actually at fault is doing everything it can to make doing business with them an even less attractive option, and the blameless one is being accomodating).

        (3/3)

        /end rant.

        1. Amazon reduces reliance on UPS shipping
          The relationship between Amazon and its shipping partner UPS is becoming increasingly strained, according to The Wall Street Journal. We’ve noticed a similar trend, and in fact, one of our predictions for 2016 is that Amazon will pull more business away from its third-party shipping partners.

          Amazon made significant progress building out its transportation and logistics arm this year, and we expect that to continue into next year….

          1. That is some of the best news I’ve heard in a while.

            1. I read somewhere they were thinking along the lines of Redbox style lockers for those who don’t want stuff delivered to home, but want convenience. Assuming its something like the $13 cleaner (so theft isn’t a financial dealbreaker), stop by the one you chose for delivery on the way home, enter your access number, and pick up your stuff. No operating hours, and your choice of location.

              Amazon isn’t stupid, they know if you have to go to one particular UPS location you may just buy it at the local Ace Hardware instead.

              1. A lot of Cat dealers have started using a similar system for parts deliveries from the OEM distribution centers. If they are ordering a part for a customer, they have it drop-shipped to a delivery storage unit of their customer’s choosing. They have the customer sent a lock code to get into the unit and they pick up the part at their convenience.

                The only problem is potential theft by others with the lock code that are having a part delivered to the same unit but the dealer I’ve used it with (Holt) has the combination changed with some regularity. The system saves quite a bit of time when the nearest dealership might be three or four hours away and a physical address for the deliveree might be the same distance.

                1. You buy your cats in parts?

                  Are you making soup?

                  1. Cat soup sounds awful.

                    Cats as food are useful in one way: as bait to catch real food.

                  2. Sloop owns a Chinese restaurant.

          2. Oh my god, I really hope they do this. My biggest issue with Amazon deliveries is UPS. Maybe they’re getting tired of customer complaints.

            1. My biggest issue with Amazon deliveries is their use of the postal (dis)service for “last mile” deliveries. Sure, they have a fleet of trucks hitting every single address six days a week, but they just suck at what they do. I’ve tracked packages I’ve ordered from Amazon’s warehouse in Kenosha WI, just over the IL state line, to my local post office in Chicago’s north suburbs. Takes less than a day, and tracking available through the whole process…until it hits my local PO, where it sits for a day (or more) until being put on the mailman’s truck. If I’m lucky, they deliver it at the end of their shift (I live in an area where they walk their routes, so they don’t bother carrying anything extra with them while they walk, but basically drive their route to deliver packages after they walk it once before). I mean, come on, if I paid for prime service, I want that stupid widget I ordered to get to me on time! The fate of the free world depends on it!

              1. This. My usps route seems to be where they put the trainees and fuckups. The same carrier doesn’t do the route more than a few days in a row. We have one bank of boxes for a couple of blocks woth of houses, and package lockers to go with them. They are about 67% accurate in getting the locker key into the right box, so 1 in 3 packages ends up showing as “delivered” when it has been in the box, but the key has gone to one of about 30 of my neighbors at random.

                It sucka when I need the package, but amazon extends my prime membership by a month every time it happens, and they send out a replacement if it doesn’t show up after being a couple days late. That leads to another pain in the ass for me to return the extra package when my neighbor finds my “lost” package and delivers it to my doorstep.

              2. My biggest problem with Amazon is their third party sellers that always get your order wrong.

          3. Amazon’s customer service is the best. Both times that USPS lost my packages, Amazon sent a free replacement with next day shipping immediately after I called.

            1. Amazon is very good. L L Bean is the best.

              I had a 10-yr old air mattress that developed a leak. They sent a new one no charge.

              I had a 25-yr old backpack that ripped. They sent a new one no charge.

              1. I had a good experience with Kelty recently. My tent got damaged in a wind storm and the warranty says it doesn’t cover weather related damage, but they replaced my tent poles no charge.

                1. My tent got damaged in a wind storm and the warranty says it doesn’t cover weather related damage, but they replaced my tent poles no charge.

                  Unfortunately, iy was the fabric that ripped.

                  😛

              2. I sometimes suspect that Santa spends the off season as director of customer service at LL Bean.

            2. Amazon CS is a joy.

          4. In the end, they’ll just move everything over to Lazer ship though.

        2. What is this “access point” thing? All my UPS packages are shipped to my house.

          1. If you live in a higher density area (Apartment, townhouse, etc) and they don’t catch you immediately (UPS drivers are already filling out the ‘we missed you’ form when I jump up and rush to the door at their knock) then they drop the box at a designated location nearby for you to pick up instead of getting it delivered. The one they picked for me is a hardware store – with the issues outlined in the rant above.

            1. Interesting. At my urban apartment building (smaller midwest city), one of the delivery companies (UPS I think) and USPS have keys to access the building and leave packages at your door. The other delivery company (FEDEX if I’m remembering correctly), leaves all packages either at the office or at the internal mailboxes.

            2. I live in one of the densest areas in the country & UPS leaves stuff all the time – I asked they guy once what his criteria was for leave package vs. leave note & he said it was just a judgement call by him. Now that my crackhead neighbors are gone he’s happy to leave pretty much everything (vast amounts of Amazon stuff).

            3. I live in a house in a city in NJ. They always leave the packages if I’m not home, sometimes with a note that it is by the back gate but mostly just on the porch. Never had any problem.

              1. I’ve never had any problems with boxes left at my door by UPS* – but they stopped doing that and started playing these obnoxious games.

                *I did have a stack of USPS delivered boxes stolen, but the neighbors I most suspect have since moved out.

            4. My niece specifies FedEx – they’ll drop packages on the side porch. She’s had experiences where the dog barks at the front door and when she checks, there’s the UPS “sorry we missed you” tag hanging on the door knob and the UPS truck pulling away from the curb.

              UPS once upon a time (pre-internet) had the best delivery system around, I think maybe they stopped innovating and don’t realize things move much faster now. 2-day delivery on your catalog order isn’t “blinding speed” any more. People want that stuff as soon as they click “Enter”.

              1. UPS once upon a time (pre-internet) had the best delivery system around, I think maybe they stopped innovating and don’t realize things move much faster now.

                Companies reliant on union labor tend to pivot slowly.

                1. They also have insane delivery schedules designed by suits running computer simulations who’ve never driven a truck or run a heavy package from a truck to a customer.

                  They have very strict delivery times that ratchet (you met your goal of 21 deliveries an hour this period, so we’re setting a new quota of 24 deliveries an hour), and if a driver doesn’t meet the standard set for him, he’s getting a knock for it in the form of shittier routes.

        3. UPS is terrible. I don’t know why, but if you are anything but a business they just absolutely suck. I had a terrible time getting them to actually drop my packages off at my house. They would look at the price tag and insist that someone had to be there to sign off, but they would only deliver while I was at work. My front doorstep isn’t visible from the road, and the local kids don’t get home any earlier than I do, so I’m not high risk for theft (and honestly I don’t care).

          They must do some kind of deal with businesses, though. It seems like everybody on Amazon uses them to ship.

          1. Meanwhile I live in a rather hip are that is frequented by homeless mammals, and they just left a $400 rifle scope right on my front door. Ironically I’ve never had anything stolen, probably because of the constant traffic out front

            1. I’d think you may not want to steal a rifle scope off a man’s (no offense) front door step.

              1. Well to the the rest of the world it was just an Amazon box from optics planet. But they’ve also nervously walked by while I sun myself so that might be the actual deterent

        4. I ordered a new Bayern M?nchen hat from Amazon on Monday, and it came in the mail on Wednesday.

          #Miasanmia

        5. Very simple. I refuse to buy a product if they use UPS.

        6. I did a six month internship with Amazon, working in their operations finance. My primary job was to interact with our shipping partners, like ups. While ups operation is immense and impressive, their executives were by no means innovative, dynamic people. Delivery is delivery and they don’t make much room for customer satisfaction.
          In contrast, everyone in operations at Amazon had to spend a day answering customer service phone calls. The customer service reps are right in Seattle, and are empowered to do about anything the customer wants.

          1. Meanwhile, if you sell on Amazon, your customer service rep is in India and has no experience at all in how Amazon fulfillment centers operate.

        7. I was able to get Amazon to flag my address as “No Smartpost” shipping. Doesn’t apply to third party vendors on their marketplace but anything sold by Amazon gets “real UPS” delivered at my door and not diverted through USPS.

          1. The irony is, with me, smartpost is more reliable at the moment, since the box actually gets to me instead of forcing me to chase it.

        8. I recently had to go to one of UPS’ Access Points to pick up a package, making it there a few minutes before they closed. While I waited for one of the clerks to retrieve my Cavalier Disregard for Speed Limits Prize, I overheard the other clerk telling a customer (whose package was still making its laborious way back to the nest) that they re-opened briefly from 8-8:30PM for people to pick things up. Now, this might be a one-off thing or a quirk unique to my local AP, and it doesn’t address the customer-service aspect, but it might be useful to you if you’re forced to deal with them again.

        9. UPS is a big business with automated systems and rules. If you have packages sent to your home, they will go to the nearest access point, simple as that. The phone support number you call has no influence over that.

          If you want them to go somewhere else, you let them know through UPS My Choice or you simply give a UPS store as a shipping address.

          Complaining about that is like complaining where your car designers put the headlight switch; you may be right that it is in an inconvenient place, but your complaints aren’t going to magically move it.

  4. 149) I have to confess that I have not always been a good player on this board. I was a mostly-lurker here for years before JATNAS, but there were a few times when I would post for a week or so as a visiting “reasonable, concerned citizen-type” liberal. At that time, there were a few actual liberal posters here who I think were actually insane, and I would give up the game after being overshadowed by one of them posting twelve times in a row in all caps or something.

    I’ve also used a few parody handles. At one point, Rufus had an imposter, so I decdided to get in on the action as a second imposter: Rufus J. Feathersword, pirate Canadian. I thought that was fairly funny, but I only kept it up a couple days because Rufus seems like a good guy and I didn’t want to torment him too much.

    1. Several months ago, PB responded to one of my Thoughts Not Sermons in what I found to be an extremely rude way, so I decided to parody him as well under the name Palins Butplug. I thought that was pretty successful in that it was funny (well, I thought it was anyway), and some people got it but not everybody, resulting in some real chaos. Plus one of those days Buttplug himself showed up and I had some satisfyingly absurd interaction with him. The problem was by the end, people seemed to hate me even more than the actual PB, which I wouldn’t have thought possible beforehand.

      I’ve now discovered that it’s impossible to parody Johnny Longtorso. I find his red pill-link-schtick to be kind of ridiculous, so I came up with the most over-the-top radical feminist links I could find, and then ripped off a bunch of tough-guy quotes from Repo Man (and is it really possible only one or two of you have ever seen this movie?) to use as Johnny’s “dialogue” with everybody. I even came up with a different name, “Johnnycakes” Longtorso. But rather like the problem with Spinal Tap being most viewers think it’s an actual documentary about a real heavy metal band, most people on the board thought it was the real Johnny, albeit perhaps in a slightly ironic mood. (Zeb may have suspected something was up?) It turns out that the most exaggerated PUA behavior I could come up with was pretty much in line with the real thing.

      1. After I caught on to the Repo Man thing, I had some suspicions. Didn’t guess it was you. But I’m kind of bad at identifying handle switches even when not parodies.

      2. We never hated you as much as the real PB….

      3. resulting in some real chaos. Plus one of those days Buttplug himself showed up and I had some satisfyingly absurd interaction with him

        I just thought PB had just forgotten to take his anti-psychotic medication.

    2. I can’t promise I won’t do it again. I’ve thought about parodying John, but I just don’t have the time to pick a 100-comment argument with every person on the board. A super-nihilist, ueber-grammar nit-picker Nikki might work.

      Through all this, though, one thing has remained constant. Whether it be the Obamaphone, Justin S. “Concerned Liberal,” JATNAS, or the others, Tonio has consistently called me out for obnoxious behavior. I can’t deny it! So kudos (?) to Tonio for seeing through the bullshit.

      1. That is just what Tulpa would say, Tulpa.

        1. You are so on to me.

      2. Shut up, Weigel!

      3. Don’t believe you’re really JATNAS. Could possibly be true you did the other things, but I haven’t noticed anyone being off.

      4. Great, so your priest killed himself because he couldn’t stand your dumbass babbling anymore, and now you’re here.

        1. Man enters confession booth.
          Priest: Yes, my son?
          Man: Father, I’m a a 75-year old man, and last night I made love to two 20-year old women at the same time.
          Priest: I see. How long has it been since you last confessed?
          Man: I’ve never been to confession before.
          Priest: You’ve never been to confession?
          Man: No, Father, I’m Jewish.
          Priest: Then what are you telling me this for?
          Man: Are you kidding, Father? I’m telling everybody!

    3. I am not actually an imposter….But I post once in a blue moon and read this page pretty much everyday. I am always lurking. And I rarely post because I never have the time to respond. And I am lazy. I pretty much read these boards to find examples of better articulated points of view that match mine. It helps me in arguments with progressive assholes.

    4. I am not actually an imposter….But I post once in a blue moon and read this page pretty much everyday. I am always lurking. And I rarely post because I never have the time to respond. And I am lazy. I pretty much read these boards to find examples of better articulated points of view that match mine. It helps me in arguments with progressive assholes.

      1. You’re a squirrel!

      2. Lazy?

        /Licks tip of Bic jots down on piece of paper ‘Sanders voter’.

        1. You should’ve swiped JATNA’s handle right then.

        2. Pics of Bic licking?

      3. But I post once in a blue moon

        That is twice. And the same copy to boot.

    5. THERE WAS A RUFUS IMPOSTOR?

      1. We need a new Reason series, better know a commentator, where we can all be validated as real people, and even get a check mark next to our names.

        1. You want to get doxxed? This is how you get doxxed.

          1. I want my face blurred.

      2. HOWDO WE KNOW ITS NOT YOU??

        1. By my distinct odor.

          1. Stale maple syrup and cheese curds?

    6. Great, way to validate Epi’s theory that everyone is a sock puppet.

      1. That is just what one of Epi’s socks would say.

        1. Fun fact: we are all merely hallucinations in what flickering remnants of consciousness remain to Nick’s mind, while The Jacket uses his physical body to enact Its nefarious plans for the earth.

    7. To each his own I guess but I find the whole impostor, sock-puppet, whatever thing to be terribly boring and tiresome. I just don’t get it.

      1. Maybe if I sock puppet I will be elevated from my senary commenter status.

  5. The ostensibly “libertarian” American Spectator with a fucking SHRIEKING condemnation of online porn as a “public health crisis”?.

    http://spectator.org/articles/…..lth-crisis

    FIRST SENTENCE:
    The Internet today offers us not just instant access to images of kittens and puppies and smiling newborns, but an evil avalanche of images of abuse, sick fantasies, and child rape that are easily accessible with a click on a child’s smartphone or iPad.

    JESUS, how fucking puritanical can they get. And invoking the welfare of children obliquely in THE FIRST FUCKING SENTENCE doesn’t give the game away or anything?.

    And why do I have the feeling ? looking at the author’s photo ? that she has never even seen online porn?

    1. What’s ever been libertarian about the Spectator?

      1. I always thought they were middle-of-the-road conservatives. PJ Media is more likely to put up Libertarianish articles.

    2. What percentage of online porn depicts abuse or child rape? 1%? .01%?

      1. I’m sure somebody on here has done the research…

        1. Old Man With Candy, please come to the white courtesy phone….

          1. /looks up innocently.

      2. Not only that but the really hardcore stuff is usually not just 1 click from a child’s mouse away. Sure a mistyped search for “My Little Pony” could bring back porn, maybe even out of the mainstream porn but it is not like 8 years olds are stumbling into darknet sites on a daily basis

    3. I guess the author has never heard of parental control settings? Or even parental responsibility.

      She can eat a bag of shit.

    4. And why do I have the feeling ? looking at the author’s photo ? that she has never even seen online porn?

      Actually, she was in a MommyHD clip taking a facial from a rather large Negro gentleman. I can post a link, if you want.

      1. I prolly already got it bookmarked…. sigh…

      2. That was actually my stunt cock. He’s a reliably high volume performer.

  6. Pussy Plague

    Who would’ve thought increased atmospheric CO2 would lead to a cat population explosion?

    When Kristina Vesk started working at the Cat Protection Society of NSW in 2006, she rarely saw kittens in winter. Now warmer weather means cats are breeding all year round, increasing the numbers of unwanted kittens and the threat to native wildlife from strays and feral cats.

    Ms Vesk, the society’s chief executive, said there used to be weeks from June to September when the shelter saw very few, if any, kittens. But with the climate changing and temperatures rising, it seems cats are increasingly on heat.

    1. And here I thought you were describing my weekend plans.

      1. So you’re off to visit the Hoasis? Or Whoreisland?

    2. This warmer weather is just in her head, but apparently that is enough to make cats horny.

      Also, when I first read the title ‘pussy plague’ I thought, well, if you are going to have a plague I guess that is the one to have. Imagine my disappointment.

    3. Damn! this shit gets old. They’re only talking about 1? per century. There’s now way in hell that this amount of warming can have a significant effect on much of anything in just ten years. And average of 1/10? increase causes cats to suddenly breed all winter? Give men a break.

      1. Whether or not it is climate change, there have been some warm winters lately in some places and I’m sure it has helped the feral cat population grow in those places.

        1. Of course a few unusually cold winters (which have also happened in a lot of places lately) would reverse that trend.

        2. Australia is still in the middle of a long weather/climate cycle that has produced warmer (and drier) than normal temps. Although scientists there attribute some of it to climate change, they acknowledge that a lot of it is due to one of these cycles (I can’t remember what it’s called and I’m too lazy to look it up but think something like a southern hemisphere version of El Nino).

  7. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders?in what is “shaping up to be a battle between the briefing book and the bumper sticker”?managed to deliver a pretty good debate last night…

    Both plan to close the gotta-pay-for-things loophole.

      1. They sucked his brains out!

        1. That is exactly what I thought!! Until the turned it over and it was a giant vagina…. then I thought of slimmed-down Fat Bastard’s neck…

      2. I just… I can’t….

      3. That’s *great*!

      4. What. The. Fuck. Was. That?

        1. Show respect to your future POTUS.

      5. Japanese porn is so weird.

        1. Isn’t there supposed to be tentacles, or something?

  8. Rational Male: Outrage Brokers
    …Team Roosh and team SJW are still what they are. The fact that we get women and men IRL who know about this “leader of some MRA group who wants to legalize rape” should be evidence enough of the reach this quick hit, easily digestible ‘outrage bite’ has….

    …If you read through the Deadbedrooms or Divorce subredds, there are countless men there who would save or change their lives if they embraced Red Pill awareness, but for whatever reason they get violently hostile at any mention of a TRP solution to their circumstances. How many of these fence-riders will look at Roosh and just have all those biases confirmed about TRP now?…

    …They want a villain, a misogynist, a chauvinist, a caveman and a guy easily ridiculed in a feminine-primary social order and it appears Roosh is more than happy to give that to them if it means he can profit from it….

    1. Roosh is more than happy to give that to them if it means he can profit from it….

      Isn’t America great? “Hate me. It is money in the bank.”

      “Bank failure? I’m so screwed.”

  9. Man urinates in Wal-Mart as he puts trout in pants

    Clarksville Police were called to the store at 2315 Madison St., at 1:33 p.m. Wednesday, the warrant stated.

    A worker told an officer that the suspect, David Wylie, was seen urinating on the sales floor near the alcohol while trying to put a package of trout in his pants and he then attempted to leave the store without paying, the warrant stated.

    The officer wrote that Wylie told him he indeed urinated on the floor but “was not concerned because it was a misdemeanor.”

    1. He didn’t really do it on porpoise, but any fin is possible.

      1. You’re fishing for responses, but I won’t take the bait.

        1. Swiss is going to go all wall-eyed at you basstards

    2. Would I be called more or less of a smug elitist if I listed the customer base as my reason for not shopping at Wal-Mart?

      1. He was buying fish from Wal-Mart. Never mind pissing on the floor, he was buying fish from Wal-Mart.

        1. buying stealing.

          This only improves matters if he didn’t intend to eat it.

          1. +1 John Bonham

      2. I do my Wal-Mart shopping at Saturday, 8am to avoid this very problem.

        1. I do my Wal-Mart shopping at 1:00 AM so other people don’t have this problem.

      3. I think a better reason (and I’m going to describe Target because we don’t have WalMart in NYC) is that in the brick and mortar shops, the customer service sucks, the cashiers are horrible, and the merchandise looks like a tornado swept down every aisle.

        1. I was amazed the first time I visited a Target outside of NYC and found that it was actually really nice. Apparently only the Atlantic Center one is like that. Read the Yelp reviews; there are some hilarious gems in there like “this place makes me want to invent a gun that fires bulldozers” and “you could build a Target in North Korea, or on the Sun, and it would be better than this.”

          1. Heh, that is exactly the branch I was describing. It’s the only Target I’ve ever been inside so I just assumed. The other shops in that mall aren’t great but not so bad either – even the Best Buy – but that Target is just in a class by itself.

            1. Target is just Walmart for people who think they’re too good for Walmart.

              1. Target is just Walmart for people who think they’re too good for Walmart.

                I don’t shot at Target either.

                1. *shop

                  One of these days I’ll learn how to type.

    3. #OneEyedTrouserTrout

      1. The Snake ate the Trout.

    4. Did he blame climate change?

      If not, it’s not news.

    5. Geez, fish are cold, okay? He probably didn’t have to go beforehand, but that frozen fish just woke the bladder up.

      1. Indeed. It could happen to *anyone*.

    6. I would’ve assumed he pulled the trout out of his pants.

  10. Ted Cruz’s campaign has disappeared a new national ad after it came out that one of the actors in the spot had appeared in porn.

    Please tell me it was gay porn.

    1. The Libertarian Moment continues.

    2. Let’s just say that Crusty would, all night long and twice on Tuesdays.

  11. Ted Cruz’s campaign has disappeared a new national ad after it came out that one of the actors in the spot had appeared in porn.

    What was the title of Ted’s film?

    1. Cruzing Fire Island: Ted Takes It All

    2. “PenetraTed”

      1. “Trussed Ted”

    3. presidential erection.

      1. Presidential erection 2: teabaggers ball.

        1. Presidential Erection 2: Electric Cruzaloo

    4. Ass Blasters 45: The Oval Orifice

      1. “Offices?”

        Orifices!

        “Aaaah!”

    5. Behind The Marco Door

    6. “The Republican Cloakroom”

      1. +1 wide stance

    7. Cruzing Iran: featuring Ayatollah Cock May We?

  12. “In the U.K., companies will have to begin publicly disclosing any pay gap between male and female employees.”

    Seems like a good opportunity to use bad statistics in your favor. Count total cash made by women against total cash paid by men. Then make sure your PR department spreads all the problems with metric far and wide. You’ll follow the law, but the stat will be so useless you can ignore any protests.

    1. Then make sure your PR department spreads all the problems with metric far and wide.

      Who are you who are so wise in the ways of mathematics?

      1. Okay this time I’m certain you’re being sarcastic. Not sure why, though.

    2. Even better. Send it to your marketing department and have them issue a release that “We saved ?48M last year alone by employing women in jobs we could have hired more expensive men for.”

      Watch the feminists go apeshit.

      1. *Snork* okay that’s the best idea ever.

    3. “We must close the gap between male and female employees.”

      “You’re sacked for suggesting sexual misconduct.”

      1. One arm length. Unadjusted.

    4. Particularly interesting from the article: “never married no children women earn more than men”.

      The article was pretty good, but I didn’t see a description of what exactly the companies would have to disclose. Would it be total payroll divided between men and women? Average pay for men vs. women?

      It’s all bullshit unless you are comparing people in the same job with the same skills, experience, record of performance, etc.

      1. It’s all bullshit unless you are comparing people in the same job with the same skills, experience, record of performance, etc.

        Which will almost certainly not be disclosed since it would kill the narrative.

  13. Meanwhile in Australia:

    Daddy-long-legs spider wins David and Goliath battle with deadly brown snake

    A Riverina farmer has captured what appears to be nature’s version of a David and Goliath battle.

    The photo, taken over the weekend, shows a daddy-long-legs spider stringing up its prey ? a lethal brown snake.

    Farmer and photographer Patrick Lees said it was the first time he had seen a spider kill a snake.

    “I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never seen it, let alone a daddy-long-legs,” Mr Lees said.

    1. Probably not that big a deal – I’m sure an Australian daddy-long-legs is 3 feet tall, has 12 poisonous tentacles and shoots paralyzing darts out its ass.

  14. So on Hate Radio this morning (hosted by a woman named Igor Volsky), a guy called in to explain why Bernie Sanders will actually reduce the size of government. The caller prefaced his statement by helpfully explaining, “I’m both a politician and a mathematician.” His concept: “Bernie is going to go after a lot of taxes that we’re not currently collecting.” Uh, ok.

    1. IIRC, no country has ever succeeded in capturing more than 21% of GDP in taxes. Bernie will solve that by declaring everything belongs to him.

      1. Bernie will solve that by declaring everything belongs to him.

        And that all us no-good whippersnappers better get the hell off his lawn. Which is ALL lawns.

      2. Well, if you increase taxes, that shrinks the size of the government. Anyone with half a brain can see that. Clearly, you are no mathematician.

      3. No offense, but that stat sounds like bullshit. In fact, I think that more than 21% of US GDP goes to taxes right now if you count local, state, and federal.

        1. No offense taken. And OMWC is right, I’m no mathematician. I’m quoting an econ course I took seventeen years ago, and since heard that nugget repeated once or twice by an economics analyst. Since GDP is C + I + G + (X – M), once you back out government spending, no country captures more than 21% in tax revenue.

          I may be wrong.

      4. The federal government has not succeeded in collecting more than 21% of GDP in taxes since the Great Society was implemented (and usually more like 18%) and haven’t collected more than 30% of non-government GDP since 1955.

        FedGov has only broken 30% of private sector GDP 5 times since WWII ended, all but one before Ike’s second term. Any budget that assumes receipts greater than that in this country is just not serious.

        1. *amended: they did break 23% & 30% in 1969, barely. Receipts haven’t sniffed those marks since FY 1970.

        2. Huh, I thought the highest the feds got was 24 or 25% during WWII, but maybe I was dividing spending by the entire GDP, with govt spending included.

      5. No other countries have, although some version of this may be true for income taxes.

        In countries with VAT taxes however they routinely collect north of 20% of GDP.

        Denmark has actually managed to get up north of 45%

        https://stats.oecd.org/Index.aspx?DataSetCode=REV

    2. “I’m both a politician and a mathematician.”

      “Assume a spherical government ?.”

      1. I don’t think a Sanders government could possibly have zero eccentricity.

        1. What bearing does that have on the question?

            1. Rog. Never dealt with an out of round ball bearing have you?

              1. Your subtlety is second to none.

      2. moving at the speed of light

    3. I heard Bernie talking about some of those “taxes we’re not currently collecting” – we don’t collect them because they’re not taxes. He mentioned those off-shore billions American companies aren’t paying taxes on, he doesn’t seem to realize the companies don’t pay taxes on that money for the same reason the Queen of England doesn’t send the IRS a check for all her taxes. The money isn’t subject to US taxes. You want the IRS to get their fair share of the money? The IRS is getting their fair share. If the companies were breaking the law by not paying the taxes you think they owe, there would be some people going to jail and the IRS would just seize the money. You just don’t accept that companies can point to the law when they say it’s their money and not yours when you so obviously want to steal it from them, you greedy selfish evil bastard.

      1. But what Bernie supposes is: what if we did?

        1. +1 Old Custer

    4. a lot of taxes that we’re not currently collecting

      More details, please, BernieBro on the radio. I for one would love to know about all of the taxes we’re not currently collecting, so I can currently stop paying them. And no good squad would burst into my house without knocking, shoot my dog, and try to collect them, right?

  15. In the U.K., companies will have to begin publicly disclosing any pay gap between male and female employees.

    It’s always good for coworkers to know what each other make.

  16. Slovenian town plans public beer fountain

    The Zalec town council voted with a two-thirds majority to move ahead with plans for the tourist attraction, which is being heralded as Europe’s first beer fountain.

    The fountain, which is estimated to cost nearly $400,000 to construct, would call on users to pay $6.75 to dispense 10 ounces of beer in a commemorative mug. The fountain would include a variety of beers brewed in the region, which is famed for its hops — known locally as “green gold.”

    Officials said the fountain’s construction will be half funded by the local council and the other half will be provided by commercial partners and public donations.

    1. I think I have found the location of my retirement home.

    2. SEE even you assholes have a weakness for crony capitalism…

      *wipes drool from chin while looking up flights to slovania*

    3. $6.75 for 10oz? How does that make it a ‘public beer fountain’? That’s just a beer vending machine.

    4. And no one, anywhere, ever, has pissed in a public fountain? Might be an improvement to some of the eastern European beers I’ve tried, though.

  17. “Ted Cruz’s campaign has disappeared a new national ad after it came out that one of the actors in the spot had appeared in porn.”

    I know this is a big deal to people, but I fail to see why. Similar to those cases that turn up occasionally where a teacher at an elementary school is discovered to have worked in porn, and end up being fired or resigning. But who cares? Is there some reason a person can’t be a perfectly decent actor or teacher after appearing in porn movies? What do the two thins have to do with each other?

    1. I would think the bigger scandal is that he has to hire actors to pretend to be his supporters in ads.

      1. He could’ve just taken some of Ben’s.

  18. Greek police fire tear gas at angry farmers rallying in Athens

    Under the planned reform of the pension system demanded by Greece’s international lenders, farmers face a tripling of their social security contributions and higher income tax. They have been blockading motorways across Greece for over three weeks.

    Greece’s left-leaning government says the step is necessary to ensure future pensions for the group, whose benefits have so far been almost completely subsidized by the state.

    About 800 farmers from the island of Crete arrived in Athens early on Friday and rallied outside the agriculture ministry waving Greek flags and chanting: “They won’t make us bend”.

    Riot police guarding the entrance to the ministry fired teargas to disperse farmers who hurled tomatoes and stones at the building smashing windows and used shepherd’s crooks to repel police during the tense but brief scuffles.

    1. Greek farmers are considered state employees?

      1. Who isn’t a state employee in Greece?

  19. Cliven Bundy Charged With Conspiracy, Ted Cruz Ditches Ad With Porn Star, U.K. Companies Must Disclose Gender Pay Gaps: A.M. Links

    ENB has the links.

  20. …why Sanders will not be listening to Henry Kissinger.

    He should start listening to Dr. Killinger instead.

    1. “I can walk, Mein Fuhrer!”

    2. “This is my magical murder bag.”

      1. This new season has been extra good.

  21. Yellen’s dilemma: A downturn with no easy response

    Fed chair Janet Yellen told lawmakers this week she was studying ways to “be prepared” in the event the current slide in world stock markets, concern about financial sector stress, and slowing economic growth all translate into a recession or another financial crisis.

    But Yellen said the policy tool of negative interest rates, now favored by some foreign central banks offers no sure bet for the U.S. economy.

    “We need to consider the U.S. institutional context. They are not automatic…We previously studied them and decided they would not work well,” Yellen told the U.S. Senate Banking Committee on Thursday, when asked whether the Fed was “out of ammunition” to fight a new downturn.

    1. in the event

      LOL

    2. The addict needs a higher dose to get a rush? This is my shocked face.

      1. Even meth addicts are smart enough to take a break occasionally. The Fed has been on a 7-year bender. The crash will be spectacular!

    3. The Fed’s next monetary policy meeting will be held on March 15-16 when policymakers issue fresh economic forecasts and Yellen holds a press conference.

      I can hardly wait. Fresh forecasts!

    4. Listening to economists talk about negative interest rates reminds me of a research biologist I knew describing live dissections of lab mice. So immersed in the technical details that they are utterly blind to the horror of what they’re proposing.

    5. The problem with the economy is, of course, excessive regulation of businesses and trade (including taxation). The Fed can’t do anything about any of that, but they can make things worse if they want.

      The last time the economy took a sharp downturn right before a presidential election it didn’t turn out too good. Will this time be any better?

  22. Poll: Over 4 in 10 back Trump nationwide

    Donald Trump has over double the voter support of any Republican White House hopeful nationwide, according to a new poll.

    Over 4 in 10 Americans are backing Trump’s campaign after his victory in New Hampshire’s GOP primary last Tuesday, according to a Morning Consult survey released Friday.

    Trump earns 44 percent support from registered Republican and Republican-leaning independent voters. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) comes in a distant second, with 17 percent.

    Retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson and Sen. Marco Rubio are in third, with 10 percent each.

    Trailing them are former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush with 8 percent and Ohio Gov. John Kasich with 4 percent.

    1. Some people just want to watch the world Bernburn.

  23. Posted here to hopefully catch a broader audience!

    Feb 5 Derpetologist update! Let’s start with Spot the Not ? one of these things he did NOT say to his drill Sgt
    1) As you wish, Drill Sgt
    2) Shall I continue, Drill Sgt?
    3) Your left boot is untied, Drill Sgt
    4) I’m trying, Drill Sgt, but it’s like trying to jerk off while wearing boxing gloves.
    5) I haven’t called you anything except “Drill Sgt”, Drill Sgt
    6) I’m running on nothing but raw determination and honey lemon cough drops, Drill Sgt.

    His troop no longer sings “My Girlfriend is a Vegetable” cadence because a soldier complained that it reminded him of his brother who died after being in a coma.
    Derpy’s squad was “killed” in an ambush ? attacked from behind by machine gun.
    Derpy did a live-fire exercise. “Another guy and me took turns rushing forward while providing covering fire. It was exciting.”
    Derpy represented his platoon during the pugil stick tournament. “I clobbered the other guy. Observers said I was the only one who used any kind of strategy during the tournament.” THAT’S OUR DERPETOLOGIST~
    GRADUATION ON THE 23rd!!!

    1. I personally heard him say #4, so that’s not it.

    2. #1

      Well done, Derpetologist.

      1. I’ll buy him a beer if he works “To the pain, Drill Sgt!” in somewhere.

        1. Apparently he really said it. I completely consider that an owed beer for Derp. That’s awesome.

    3. PROUD PROUD PROUD. That is a man right there – pugil sticks and live fire exercises. I remember them fondly….except the pugil sticks where I got clobbered. Fuck.
      GOOD ON ‘IM!!!!!

      And I HOPE that he said #5 – that would be fucking hilarious!

  24. Face It, Bernie Sanders Is Obama’s Real Successor

    Before last night’s debate, for example, the media were getting pretty worked up about a new Bernie Sanders spot called “Together.” Setting aside my personal contempt for its creepy authoritarian vibe, I can see how the ad clues us into why many liberals are taken with Sanders’ candidacy. An ad like Together would seem calculated and vacuous coming from Hillary Clinton. It would have been perfect for 2008 Obama. It definitely works for Sanders.

    Because like the president, Sanders pins his aspirations to a movement, not merely himself. Which is always intriguing to younger voters. Then again, quixotic voters are intrigued by all kinds of dumb ideas. Utopianism is intriguing. Equality is intriguing. Unity is intriguing. “Our job is not to divide. Our job is to bring people together!” Sanders roars in the ad. All genders, ethnicities, races, ages, and sexualities will meld into one and force government to “work” for everyone. The thing is, if we weren’t divide by our gender, race, class, and sexual orientation, Democrats wouldn’t win any elections.

    1. Everyone must agree with you, the most speshulist snowflake on Earth.

  25. Ted Cruz Ditches Ad With Porn Star

    Pussy

    1. #BlackCockMatters

    2. Caused by Global Warming.

  26. Hillary Clinton Top Six Campaign Staffers Are All White Men

    It seems she’s serious about not voting for her just because she’s a woman.

    1. She’s enough woman for the entire campaign, she doesn’t need any other women.

    2. I’m convinced that if the patriarchy exists it is really post-menopausal women holding it up.

  27. Atlanta police officer gunned down while serving a ‘no-knock’ drug warrant is the FOURTH cop shot dead in 24 hours

    Maj. Greg Barney died in surgery Thursday after being shot
    The Riverdale officer was serving a drug warrant at an apartment complex
    The suspect fled the building and shot Barney twice in the torso
    Another officer then shot and killed the suspect
    Barney is the fourth cop to be killed in the U.S. in 24 hours, and the fifth this week

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..hours.html

    How many people have the cops killed in that time period?

    1. No knock? Shoot the fucker, he’s a thug breaking in.

      1. Better have a safe room to barricade yourself into before you can get a news crew over to film your surrender, and hope the cops don’t execute you anyway.

        1. I’m taken as many of them with me as possible. Cops need to learn to fear the populace.

          1. taking. Jesus, we drank too much last night during the debate. Drunk tweeting it was fun, though.

    2. Yeah, no sympathy for cops executing no-knock warrants.

      1. You mean, deliberately choosing the riskier option because it’s more exciting and we get to play with cool toys, might not be the best decision? Now I ask you, who could have foreseen that.

    3. Time to give Barney one more bullet. And an MWRAP.

  28. Mexico prison riot: 49 killed in rival gang battle

    At least 49 people were killed and 12 people wounded in a prison riot in the Mexican city of Monterrey, the governor of the northeastern state of Nuevo Leon has said.

    Governor Jaime Rodriguez said the fighting broke out before midnight on Wednesday night, in two areas of the Topo Chico prison, between a faction of the infamous Zetas gang and another group.

    “During the clash several prisoners set fire to the food storage and sleeping areas,” Rodriguez told reporters at a press conference on Thursday.

    It was not immediately clear how the victims died, but Rodriguez said there was no gunfire.

  29. Nice lady from Calais talks about the awesomeness of living in a culturally enhanced city.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKAQX74yRyc

      1. Did this specific woman express anti-Semitic views?

      2. I can still feel some sympathy for the Euros. They didn’t all embrace this. Multiculturalism was shoved down the throats of many of them, and even of the ones who do promote that poison, it was shoved down their throats as children in the government’s compulsory schools and heavily regulated ‘private’ schools. I mean there are women in Sweden who got raped and waited days and weeks to report the crime to police because they afraid that the perpetrators would deported! It’s an ideologically induced and state driven mental illness.

    1. They aren’t migrants. They aren’t refugees. They are invaders.

      1. Now, now. Multiculturalism has taught us that their culture is at least as good as ours.

        1. Now, now. Multiculturalism has taught us that their culture is at least as good as better than ours.

          FTFY

    2. Funny. I hang out at a place where there are a LOT of Jew haters (1/4 to 1/2 the posters) and one of them touted the Israeli methods for dealing with the Muslims. With links.

      It is getting crazy out there.

      1. I hang out at a place where there are a LOT of Jew haters

        Europe?
        College campuses?
        Hitler youth meetings?
        The internet?

        1. Sanders’ campaign bus?

        2. I think he means Reason

          1. New York City?

            Lolwut? Not everyone here is Al Sharpton.

      2. OK. I’ll give the game away.

        Zero Hedge.

        And it may be 3/4s – if you judge by the voting.

        1. I knew it!

  30. The Unexpected Breadth of Donald Trump’s Appeal

    The exit polls couldn’t be clearer. As Ramesh Ponnuru put it, “They raise questions about what we think we know about the Trump phenomenon.” Since the Granite State is so white, it didn’t test the candidate’s performance among minorities. But Trump proved an ability to best all his rivals among the following groups:

    Women. He got 33 percent of their vote. The runner up, John Kasich, got 16 percent.
    All ages. He won among 18-to-29-year-olds, 30-to-44-year-olds, 45-to-64-year-olds, and 65-and-over, his worst demographic, where he still won 31 percent of the vote.
    He did better in the city and the suburbs than in rural areas, but won all three locales.
    He won among voters with college degrees and among those with graduate degrees.
    He won voters who make under $30,000, voters who make $200,000 or more, and all income ranges in between.
    He won people who self-describe as “very conservative,” those who are “somewhat conservative,” and those who are “moderate.”
    He won among evangelicals and non-evangelicals.

    1. NH is an open primary state. With Bernie ridiculously far ahead in the Dem side, a lot of Trump’s vote was probably Dems trying to sabotage the GOP.

      1. I don’t think they were trying to ‘sabotage,’ I think there are a lot of white Democrats who like Trump compared to other GOP candidates, so when you have an open primary those Democrats are going to give Trump advantages.

  31. “Prior to the Cruz campaign pulling the ad, Lindsay told BuzzFeed News in a phone interview on Thursday that she’s a Christian conservative and a Republican. While she emphasized that she did not do hardcore porn and that she also appeared in non-erotic films, Lindsay said she thinks it is “cool” that an actor who has appeared in softcore porn could also appear in Cruz’s ad.”

    Great job, Cruz campaign! Way to show you really want to have a Big Tent party when you’re jettisoning Republicans because they’ve done porn at some point.

    1. gotta chase those church dollars.

    2. No one should be alienated by this because it’s not fair to be alienated by Republicans when Democrats are worser!

    3. “In a cool way, then hey, then it’s not just some old, white Christian bigot that people want to say, ‘It could be, maybe, a cool kind of open-minded woman like me,'” she said of people supporting Cruz.”

      No you had the old white Christian bigots part right.

  32. Sanders: Race relations would be better than now under me

    Sanders’s comments exposed him to potential attacks from the Clinton camp that he is denigrating the first black president, though the Vermont senator didn’t mention Obama by name.

    Clinton press secretary Brian Fallon tweeted, “Now Sanders is promising to do more to improve race relations than President Obama? #DemDebate.”

    Clinton, who is trying to win over Obama’s coalition of African-American and Hispanic voters, was more careful than Sanders to avoid critiquing Obama’s management of race relations.

    Clinton was asked why she thinks race relations would be better under a Clinton presidency than they have been under Obama.

    The former secretary of State rejected the premise of the question, saying she didn’t agree with the assessment that Obama had not been good for race relations.

    1. “Clinton press secretary Brian Fallon tweeted, “Now Sanders is promising to do more to improve race relations than President Obama? #DemDebate.””

      Given that polls show Americans overwhelmingly think race relations are worse now than they were a decade ago, this seems like a pretty uncontroversial stance for Sanders to take.

      I’d say the average president should be able to do more to improve race relations than a president who’s actively damaged them.

      1. Yeah, that flack Fallon is as sharp as a trout – A TROUSER TROUT!!!

      2. Speaking of people actively damaging race relations…

      3. It’s not Obama’s fault. Who could have thought the obstructionist, racist Teathuglicans would hate him so much that they would reignite the race wars.

        1. Are you any relation to Cary?

      4. Given that polls show Americans overwhelmingly think race relations are worse now than they were a decade ago, this seems like a pretty uncontroversial stance for Sanders to take.

        You can’t say that out loud. It ruins Team Spirit.

    2. “The former secretary of State rejected the premise of the question, saying she didn’t agree with the assessment that Obama had not been good for race relations.”

      Front-runner for pro-science political party rejects all polling data and objective evidence (such as, you know, race rioting) in favor of a lie that confirms her party’s biases.

      Pro-science!

      1. They fucking love science!

      2. Uh huh. From a brown eyed woman who wears blue contacts. That is rich.

        1. +1 Van Morrison

          1. Ever since a friend suggested that song was about anal sex, I can’t hear Brown Eyed Girl without that thought popping into my head.

            1. Yeah, and when I heard that Lily Bulero was a prominent 17th century hooker…

    3. Regardless of what you think about BO’s effect on race relations, this was an extremely stupid thing for Sanders to say under the circumstances. Obama has legend status among the black population whose votes Sanders needs. You have to be careful not to step in that doo-doo.

      Why the heck do the Clintons’ opponents always have to be so stupid.

      1. Blacks are quite vocal about what Obama has done to race relations. It might be a vote getter.

        Is Sanders taking hints from The Donald?

    4. Sanders to sobbing white cracker: You racist, bra? I think you’re racist. To the gulag!

      Sanders to media: See? I told you it would be better!

  33. managed to deliver a pretty good debate

    I thought it was pretty good – it showed me Bernie Sanders has some pretty half-baked Big Ideas he gets pretty damn defensive about when you challenge him on the question of how the hell he thinks he’s going to get that hot mess implemented. It also showed me Hillary Clinton may not have any half-baked Big Ideas, but she’s got lots of little really bad ideas and she probably knows exactly how to get them implemented. Bernie Sanders is the guy who says he wants to cut your head off, kill your wife and rape your dog but he has no idea who you are or how to find you, Hillary just wants to have her henchmen kick you in the nuts a few times and her henchmen are standing in your living room right now.

    1. I miss Martin O’Malley already.

      1. Cheer up, Bud. He’ll be back. Maybe even in the next administration!

      2. Technically speaking, it’s still not too late for Joe Biden to throw his hairplugs back into the ring.

    2. Still seemed like two crazy geriatrics arguing at the old folks’ home.

  34. Ted Cruz’s campaign has disappeared a new national ad after it came out that one of the actors in the spot had appeared in porn.


    Here she is posing as a corpse.
    Which makes Ted feel funny in his swimsuit area.

  35. #4 is the not, per Derpetologist

    1. Fuck you, Almanaian, I already guessed that. Have respect.

  36. After Sanders’ Big Win in New Hampshire, Establishment Figures Want to Scare You with Superdelegates. Here’s Why It’s Bullshit

    Superdelegates have never decided a Democratic nomination. It would be insane, even by the corrupt standards of the Democratic National Committee, if a small group of party elites went against the will of the people to choose the presidential nominee.

    This has already been an incredibly tense election, and Sanders voters are already expressing their unwillingness to vote for Clinton in the general election. When you look at the astounding numbers from Iowa and New Hampshire, where more than 80 percent of young voters have chosen Sanders over Clinton, regardless of gender, it’s clear that Clinton already finds herself in a very tenuous position for the general election. It will be tough to motivate young supporters, but any hint that Bernie was screwed by the establishment will result in total abandonment.

    Democrats win when turnout is high, and if the DNC decides to go against the will of the people and force Clinton down the electorate’s throat, they’d be committing political suicide.

    1. Party leaders don’t want to win elections, they want to remain party leaders. Public choice theory in action.

      Indispensable Enemies: The Politics of Misrule in America

    2. Luckily for the Democrats, half the GOP will probably stay home in November if Trump or Cruz gets the nomination.

      1. This is why i think we are getting comrade sanders.

    3. Just because they’ve never decided in the past doesn’t mean they can’t in the future. If Wikipedia has its numbers correct, in 2008, superdelegates made up about 20% of the total delegates at the convention. (Republicans it was about 5%).

    1. Well, Africans and Neanderthals.

      Did she think it was some kind of new observation? People have been saying that since teh African origin theory became broadly accepted.

      1. Nonsense! Polygenesis all the way!

        /sarc

  37. I have a new favorite judge (take a back seat, Amy Gray): You don’t add a bit of value, do you?’: Texas judge berates government lawyers

    What followed last month ? memorialized in a transcript that was unsealed at the request of The Washington Post ? was a Texas-size bollocking over proper attire, wasting taxpayer money and spying for the bureaucrats in Washington.

    Patel was summarily tossed from the judge’s chambers and Hughes ? if anyone doubted his 10-gallon grumpiness ? subsequently issued an “Order on Ineptitude” to berate the “pretentious lawyers” at “Main Justice.”

    1. Bee-yoo-tee-full.

    2. that was an awesome story.

    3. Nobody beats Justice Don Willett!

  38. So have any of you seen the new Bernie vs. Hillary memes that are shitting up FB feeds lately? Basically each poses a statement reflecting some completely mundane aspect of everyday life, and beneath each candidate is their respective reaction as associated to them by the meme’s creator. Bernie is portrayed as the cool, hip guy and Hillary is the stuffy geezer. For example, one meme’s subject is “can I get a ride?” to which Hillary’s reaction is “do you have gas money?” while Bernie’s is “hell yeah, nigga!” It’s not only making me feel dumber after viewing each one, but it reflects a shocking level of projection from the idiots that support Sanders. I guess when your favorite candidate has no recognizable accomplishments to his name, you just have to make shit up that you like about him.

    1. What the fuck is a FB?

      1. Finite boredom.

      2. You give Zuckerberg access to the most minute detail of your life and movements, which he sells. In exchange, you get access to memes, and people you don’t know very well and don’t see in your normal course of life are obnoxious to you.

        1. Oh. That doesn’t sound very smart.

        2. Friend me. We’ll get high.

        3. “You give Zuckerberg access to the most minute detail of your life and movements, which he sells”

          A good business man knows that people are self-centered, but Zuck’s made billions finding out narcissism seems to have no limits at all!
          Guy’s a genius!

        4. I’ve been wanting to leave it desperately, but there are a few groups on there that I use to connect with people in real life. And sadly, much of the political idiocy I subject myself to comes from people that are well known to me.

          1. You don’t have to justify your choice to me, brah. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

      1. Delightful!

    2. I saw one where the position was “craft beer,” and Bernie’s response was all raving about some thick-headed New England IPA, while Hillary’s was “I’ll have a Shock Top, please.”

      I laughed, mostly because what Bernie and IPAs really have in common is that i’m pretty sure they’re both a joke that someone is playing on hipsters.

    3. I’ve seen one about the Grateful Dead, where Bernie goes on a long diatribe the meaning of this song or that, and Hillary says “I like ‘Touch of Grey'”. That one cracked me up.

    4. Bernie is portrayed as the cool, hip guy

      Have these people not seen him debating? He’s the crazy old grandpa that everyone just nods and smiles at.

  39. Finally, a good cop story.

    Unfortunately it’s part of a bad judge story.

  40. Ummmm, sorry? It,was here the other day but we see to have lost it. Oh, and sorry about your dead daughter but hey, the cop did go to jail for a few months. What more do you expect?

    1. The cops in Albuquerque really belie the notion of NM being a kind-of libertarian state.

  41. I watched the experimenter on Netflix last night. Good movie if you’re interested in the Stanley Milgrim experiments. Also if you suffer an over abundance of faith in your fellow man, if will disabuse you of that sentiment.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/experimenter/

    1. Didn’t know that had hit Netflix. Thanks, I’ve been waiting for that to come available.

      1. It was very good. I think you’ll enjoy it if you have an interest in social psychology.

  42. Kayne West, still an asshole:

    Kanye West has launched a furious tirade at Taylor Swift on Twitter, calling her a liar for denying she knew nothing his new single Famous in which he calls her a ‘b*tch’ and raps about having sex with her.

    In an astonishing 15 tweet message, Kanye begins by saying he ‘did not diss’ The 1989 singer and he has ‘never dissed her’.

    But he then launches into a rant about how he called Taylor, had an hour long conversation with her about the song and that she gave him her blessing.

    Furthermore, he defends use of the word ‘b*tch’ in the song, saying it is an ‘endearing term’ in hip hop, like the word ‘n*gga’.

    1. Attention whore. The worst thing you can do to him is ignore him.

      1. If that’s true, then I am a very, very bad person indeed.

  43. Oh, those whacky envoiros! They luv them some PV energy, but let’s not try to make it where the sun shines!

    “Obama moves to protect 1.8 million acres of Calif. desert”
    […]
    “President Barack Obama is granting national monument status to nearly 1.8 million acres of scenic Southern California desert, a move the White House says will maintain in perpetuity the region’s fragile ecosystem and natural resources,…”
    http://www.scpr.org/news/2016/…..of-califo/

    This from the guy who claims to want to reduce the use of carbon-derived energy. What a putz!
    (Had to find a new link; the other wouldn’t auto-contract, so the quotes prolly ain’t exact for this one)

    1. We need to take this Bullshit monument status power away from the executive and return it to the people.

    2. a move the White House says will maintain in perpetuity the region’s fragile ecosystem and natural resources,…”

      1: if the ecosystem is so fragile, maybe it shouldn’t be protected? Same goes for those fucking panda bears.

      2: they cease to be “resources” if you prevent man from e plotting their value.

      3: in perpetuity=until the next person in charge changes things.

      4: are you supposed to put punctuation at the end of bullet points?

      1. Exploiting

        1. I still like ‘e plotting’

    3. Looks like it’s a valley, so it would be in shade most of the time.

  44. NYPD officer Peter Liang has been found guilty of manslaughter and official misconduct for the fatal shooting of an unarmed man in a New York housing project in 2014.

    Will NYPD suffer any consequences for giving this incompetent fool a gun? I thought training was supposed to prevent things like this from happening.

  45. Umm, OK:

    AEI Visiting Scholar John Yoo joins us this week to discuss his latest edited volume, Liberty’s Nemesis: The Unchecked Expansion of the State which chronicles the last eight years of federal government growth. Yoo explains how the relationship between Congress and federal agencies has evolved away from the original separation of powers as laid out in the Constitution.

    Bold mine.

    1. What a twat.

      Somebody should waterboard him.

    2. Well, if anyone’s an expert on unconstitutionality, it’d be him.

  46. Your analysis is way too long, Nick. Who needs 90 seconds when the entire Democratic debate can be summed up in three seconds?

    1. Wrong thread. But my point is still valid.

  47. Someone on our Slack channel at work just posted about how flying is soooo bad for the environment and some climate scientists are refusing to fly. This cracks me up because a) the President that they all worship, and all his cronies around the world, fly bigass private or military jets to climate conferences and b) the TSA doesn’t bother them, but a nebulous, unproven notion that flying is bad fort he earth does.

  48. “During his first court appearance since his arrest, Nevada rancher and anti-government icon Cliven Bundy requested a court-appointed attorney Thursday, according to The Oregonian.”

    Fuck that, mooch. The only way to settle this is for Doc Holiday and his cattle rustlers to bust him out.

    1. I know, right? How dare a taxpayer use the system he pays for even if he doesn’t think it should exist in its current form?

      And libertarians who live in cities where the cops are unionized should be subject to roving rape gangs without protection, right?

      Suck a turd, asshole.

    2. That’s Doc Holliday (with two l’s) and he had no cattle rustlers to bust anyone out of jail with. Check you history.

      /pedant

      1. Duh. I know that. I was talking about this Doc Holiday…

        https://soundcloud.com/doc-h-4

        I’m for big tent anti-government nutcasery. The more we bring into the movement to have shoot-outs with the police, the better.

        1. You’re a lying piece of shit; fuck off.

        2. So, an American socialist is an incredibly stupid authoritarian scumbag. Let me find my shocked face.

    3. You calling someone else a mooch? That’s rich!

      Also what is up leftists complaining that because one may have a beef with a specific situation means that it is all of government.

  49. Pedantic rant:

    There’s a lot of reference by politicians these day about the plight of the middle class. They use middle class when they often mean working class. The difference is significant when socialists like Bernie Sanders speaks.

    The middle class is made up of people who, through their education, skills, or investments, own the means of production that they use to make a living. Professionals, managers, entrepreneurs, and business owners are included in this group. The middle class comes from the village dwellers, burghers or bourgeoisie who were separate from the landed system of landlords and serfs who made up respectable society during the Middle Ages and before. Both landowners and serfs hated and distrusted these “rootless” people, and that hatred was carried on by Karl Marx and subsequent socialists and communists. But why is this important?

    (cont.)

    1. (cont.)

      It’s important because Sanders, like most other socialists, hates and distrusts the Bourgeoisie or middle class. I believe that he, and others, conflates the working and middle classes for more than just convenience. They conflate the two to hide their contempt for the true middle class. Socialist hatred of the 1% is also a deflection. Socialists don’t really hate the wealthy, they envy them. Their medieval worldview worships the land with its two class system of lords and serfs living in balance with mother Gaia and with each other in a romanticized, bucolic world of egalitarianism and elitism (nothing contradictory here). The Bourgeoisie disrupts this system with their independence, wealth, and technology. After all, industrialism, which is not only killing Gaia but has also disrupted the landed system, is the fault of the Bourgeoisie. The middle class is the enemy of socialism.

  50. “Five Years of Gas Can Hell!”

    Jeffrey Tucker describes his experience with government-designed gas cans that are supposed to be spill resistant but turn out to be pour resistant and spill prone.

    Best passage:

    It fascinates me to see how these regulations give rise to market-based workarounds. I’ve elsewhere called this the speak-easy economy. The government bans something. No one likes the ban. People are determined to get on with their lives, regardless. They step outside the narrow bounds of the law.

    It wouldn’t surprise me to find, for example, a sudden proliferation of heavy-duty “water cans” in 1- and 5-gallon sizes, complete with nice spouts and vents, looking almost exactly like the gas cans you could get anywhere just a few years ago. How very interesting to discover this.

    I love the term “speak-easy economy”.

    If some product annoys you in surprising ways, there’s a good chance that it is not the invisible hand at work, but rather the regulatory grip that is squeezing the life out of civilization itself.

    Good summary. 😀

  51. til I looked at the draft which had said $8465 , I accept that my friends brother was like trully making money in their spare time on their apple labtop. . there aunt haz done this less than 1 year and recently cleard the loans on there house and bought a gorgeous Saab 99 Turbo . view ….

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  52. my classmate’s mother-in-law makes $78 hourly on the computer . She has been out of work for 6 months but last month her check was $17581 just working on the computer for a few hours. view website…..
    ???????======= http://www.workbuzz60.com

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