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A.M. Links: New Hampshire Primary Today, FBI Confirms 'Ongoing' Probe into Hillary Clinton's Private Email Server, Commuter Trains Collide in Germany

Damon Root | 2.9.2016 9:00 AM

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  • Courtesy of CNN

    Voters in New Hampshire are heading to the polls today for the state's presidential primary.

  • At least nine people have been killed and dozens more injured when two commuter trains collided head on in southern Germany.
  • FBI general counsel James Baker filed a letter in federal court yesterday reaffirming that the FBI's probe into Hillary Clinton's private email server is "ongoing."
  • "Hong Kong riot police fired warning shots on Tuesday during clashes that erupted in the Chinese-ruled city when authorities tried to remove illegal street stalls set up for Lunar New Year celebrations, the worst violence since pro-democracy protests in 2014."
  • Charles Sebesta, a former Texas prosecutor who used false testimony to send an innocent man to death row, has been disbarred.
  • The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015.

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NEXT: Would Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, or Bernie Sanders Stop America From Being World Police?

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Voters in New Hampshire are heading to the polls today for the state’s presidential primary.

    How long does it take to pick someone to lose to Hillary?

    1. The Last American Hero   9 years ago

      Formalities must be observed, lest the proceedings lose the air of legitimacy.

      1. BearOdinson   9 years ago

        The forms must be observed in the art of kanly!

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Hello.

      “The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015.”

      Still #1 at some things! Rejoice!

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        USA! USA! USA!

        Actually not very surprising, the US has a lot of coast line and a lot of people.

      2. BigT   9 years ago

        The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015

        In other news, Donald Trump mistaken for great white shark.

      3. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

        This is why we need common sense shark controls ? this does not happen in other countries.

    3. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Maybe they can figure out some alt-text, while they are at it.

      1. JWatts   9 years ago

        Something like, “Great White opens mouth in preparation for devouring old, slow moving seal.”

        1. pan fried wylie   9 years ago

          “Great White Satan Devoured by Great White Shark”

    4. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

      Ya know, the Broncos wouldn’t lose to Hillary.

  2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    147) How different would the situation be in Israel if the Palestinians had ever opted for nonviolent resistance? Gandhi, MLK, Mandela* and Tutu, all managed to shame their countries or colonial rulers into independence, voting rights, etc. Okay, non-violence hasn’t worked out so well for, say, the Tibetans, because it’s simply not possible to shame the Chinacoms into better behavior.

    But Israel’s a democracy, with a citizenry very carefully attuned to the world’s perception of them. What if instead of Arafat waving a gun around the UN, intifadas, and days of rage, there had been peaceful marches and dignity in the face of provocations? I bet there would be an independent Palestine today. Indeed, the whole region might be better off.

    *Yes, I’m aware the ANC had an armed wing that carried out acts of sabotage and a brief landmine campaign. Still, the South African struggle was mostly non-violent, even if it wasn’t as clean as in India or the US.

    1. DJF   9 years ago

      What if Israel had opted for a nonviolent demand for a state?

      1. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

        nonviolent demand

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, gotta catch my breath. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        Umm, they might have gotten it?

        1. Free Society   9 years ago

          Umm, they might have gotten it?

          From Muslims? No.

      3. Drake   9 years ago

        Non-violence didn’t work very well for then in Europe in the 40’s. I doubt it would any better for them in the Middle East.

        1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

          Ah, I see. I assumed DJF was referring to the Jews in British Palestine before Israel declared itself a state. And as I understand it, the Zionist movement was peaceful up until the 1930s, when a lot of Jewish paramilitaries started forming. So they had decades of quiet state-building.

      4. BearOdinson   9 years ago

        In 1948, Israel declared its independence. It also agreed to the partition plan that the UN came up with. So there would have been a Jewish state and (another) Arab state. It was the Arabs who then invaded Israel (Jordan, Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon).

        In 1967, after the Six Day War, Israel expected to trade the newly acquired territory (with the exception of the Old City of Jerusalem) for peace with the Arabs. Instead, the got the famous three Nos (No peace with Israel, No recognition of Israel, No negotiations with Israel).

        In 1993, Israel signed the Oslo accords. By 1999, every Arab population center in Judea and Samaria (The West Bank) and Gaza was under Palestinian Authority control.

        In 2000, at the Camp David Accords, Ehud Barak offered over 90% of the land the PA wanted, along with territorial swaps to account for the largest settlement blocs. Instead Arafat gave Israel the 2nd Intifada.

        In 2005, Israel removed every last settler from Gaza. As a result, Israel got thousands of rocket attacks.

        You do the fucking math.

        1. Sevo   9 years ago

          “You do the fucking math.”

          You think that troll is interested in your FACTS?!
          HAH! And HAH!
          Not when anti-semitism-by-innuendo is so ‘thoughtful’.

        2. dan'o en barrel   9 years ago

          If the Palestinians lay down their arms there will be peace. If the Israelis lay down their arms there will be no Israel.

        3. OneOut   9 years ago

          Don’t forget that Arafat’s widow is a billionaire from the stolen foreign aid that Arafat put in his Swiss accounts while the poor poor Pals didn’t have running water.

        4. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

          ^THIS, pretty much.

          OTOH, the story starts before 1948. I don’t think anybody argues that the Jewish state was formed with violence and coercion, or that it conforms with anything resembling libertarian notions of property rights.

          The US can do something positive in the conflict between Jews and Arabs: it can butt out of this internecine conflict. Let the two sort it out on their. Whatever its intentions, the US seems only to prolong the conflict (67 years and counting) and make things worse (it has expanded from a tiny corner of the Levant to the entire region and outside involvement contributed greatly to global terrorism.) Further, US involvement has been inordinately costly to both the security and the economy of the Americans that its government claims to represent.

        5. dan'o en barrel   9 years ago

          My folks were in Israel a few years ago. Their tour guide was decrying the injustice of the wall around Gaza and the checkpoints set up by the Israelis. My dad decided to call him on it:

          Dad- You lost the war
          Guide- What?
          Dad- You lost the war. What would have happened if your side won?
          Guide- They would all be gone. There would be no Jews here.
          Dad- Losing a war has consequences. You mean to tell me that if you had won the Jews would all be “gone”, and you want me to feel sorry for you that Israel won and you have to deal with checkpoints?
          Guide’s mouth agape- … (crickets chirping)

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      That’s the thing A-rabs haven’t figured out. Even if they’re right, no one gives a shit because of the way they act. They come off as bat shit insane. They never come out looking good.

      1. Free Society   9 years ago

        Even if they’re right, no one gives a shit because of the way they act. They come off as bat shit insane.

        A rational observer would see that the Palestinians represent a society that no one should want to live in. But lefties tend to ignore the bombastic insanity, targeted child killing, suicide bombers et cetera, because they believe that the evilness of Israel forces the Palestinians to behave that way. They truly believe that the Palestinians bear no responsibility for anything, or any of the atrocities perpetrated in service their little cause.

      2. R C Dean   9 years ago

        Even if they’re right, no one gives a shit because of the way they act.

        Well, nobody but the Palis’ millions (billions?) of supporters, anyway.

    3. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

      No. Jews.

    4. Drake   9 years ago

      The Israelis would be thrilled. They’ve been waiting for decades for somebody sane to govern Palestine and the West Bank.

    5. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      The Palestinians have had multiple opportunities for independence. Hell, they could have it right now if they wanted it. Whenever they have tried to form a government of their own they have failed miserably. Their ‘governments’ were unable to provide even the most basic services devolving into street gangs waging war on each other and the population.

      You can’t build a civil society if you don’t have civilized people. If the Israelis all packed up and moved out tomorrow the Palestinians would be fucked six ways from Sunday. A nearby Arab nation would invade, the place would devolve into a blood soaked shithole and everyone would blame the Jews.

      1. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

        Give it back to Jordan, except Jordan doesn’t want them, either. Memories of Black September still run strong.

        1. Drake   9 years ago

          If there is ever another Arab-Israeli War this will happen. Israel will clear out the near border regions, then force Jordan and Egypt to annex the rest as a condition of a peace settlement.

        2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

          My Leb father-in-law (may he RIP) never tired of telling that story – same with Lebanon. Palestinians are trouble-makers. Some people are not meant to have a country.

          1. Illocust   9 years ago

            My understanding is that they are more pawns than trouble makers in and of themselves. There existence as a non-state gives the local Muslim majority country a way to focus their people’s anger at the Jews. If they got their act together they’d still be able to do that, but they’d lose their international cover.

            1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

              Yes, they are convenient pawns but they did make a mess in Jordan and Lebanon. That’s why they were kicked out.

              1. OneOut   9 years ago

                Weren’t 20,000 of them killed by bombardment it Jordon or Syria for acting the same way they do with the Israelis ?

    6. Yusef Adama   9 years ago

      India? clean? you mean the Partiton? 1 million dead?

    7. Free Society   9 years ago

      Just as it was impossible highly unlikely for the Tibetans to ever shame the Chinese Communist Party, so too is it highly unlikely that Muslim culture could embrace the potential of non-violent resistance.

    8. Bubba Jones   9 years ago

      Given that arabs vote and are members of the Knesset, I am unclear on what they would actually be resisting.

      Hell, they could have just outbred the Jews and reclaimed control.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    At least nine people have been killed and dozens more injured when two commuter trains collided head on in southern Germany.

    No one wins in train chicken.

    1. Tonio   9 years ago

      I don’t see how this could have happened. Why, we are constantly informed by progs here how we need to be more like Europe with it’s safe, modern and efficient train system.

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        something something gun violence single payer healthcare herpaderp

      2. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

        You know who else liked German trains…

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Syrian refugees?

        2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          Vivian Schmitt?

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

            Why did I look that up? I should have known better.

            1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

              Now you know the name of one female, German pornstar, which will come in handy during your next cocktail party.

              1. EMD   9 years ago

                Handy … cocktail …

                It never stops.

        3. DenverJ   9 years ago

          Dr Sheldon Cooper?

      3. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Accidents happen everywhere. Not sure why this is a political issue or even internationally newsworthy.

    2. Bubba Jones   9 years ago

      Ban trains

  4. Rich   9 years ago

    FBI general counsel James Baker filed a letter in federal court yesterday reaffirming that the FBI’s probe into Hillary Clinton’s private email server is “ongoing.”

    Sheesh, Jim — she’s gonna lose NH *anyway*!

    1. DJF   9 years ago

      “””FBI’s probe into Hillary Clinton””
      Watch your language, some people eat a late breakfast

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *turns green*

      2. WTF   9 years ago

        A late breakfast of mutton flaps?

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          That’s more of a midnight snack.

  5. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    FBI general counsel James Baker filed a letter in federal court yesterday reaffirming that the FBI’s probe into Hillary Clinton’s private email server is “ongoing.”

    They don’t want to cut her acquittal too close to November!

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      Acquittal? There would have to be an actual trial for that. She won’t even be indicted.

      1. JWatts   9 years ago

        I’m curious how they handle this. I have no doubt that Clinton is doing everything in her power and calling in every favor she can manage to halt the FBI investigation. Clearly that’s not enough. And President Obama doesn’t like Hillary Clinton, so he might bend a little to salvage the Democratic nominee, but he won’t risk his own political legacy to protect Hillary Clinton. On the other hand, it’s going to be huge mark on his record if his Secretary of State gets indicted for large scale mishandling of classified information.

        So, it’s a muddle and a bunch of conflicting interests. If the FBI does recommend for indictment and turns it over to the Department of Justice, I’ll break out the popcorn.

        1. Tonio   9 years ago

          As I posted before, I suspect that she’ll be indicted, quit the race and then will be pardoned preemptively before her case goes to trial. We won’t see the back room deal where they lay out all the evidence against her and tell her that she can either leave public life or get prosecuted. There is a precedent for preemptive pardons – Pres. Ford issued one to former Pres. Nixon to save the country the pain of a pointless impeachment proceeding.

          1. R C Dean   9 years ago

            I think that’s the odds-on way to bet. IF (and this is big IF) the FBI is really pissed off about this, they have a lot of leverage to “leak” draft indictments, etc., setting off a shitstorm if nothing is done.

            1. Tonio   9 years ago

              Thanks. Yes, it really turns on the CIA, FBI, NSA, etc.

        2. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

          If Obama is the narcissist and Fabian socialist that I think he is, right now he is mostly concerned about his legacy. However, his legacy is in trouble: the Middle East is in even worse shape than when Bush was in charge, relations with Russia are even worse, relations with China are even worse, terrorism has metastasized, Europe is dying, the US has a flailing economy despite eight years of bailouts, stimulus, and quantitative easing, and his signature accomplishment, ObamaCare, is a train wreck. It will be much easier to blame the ultimate collapse in each of these areas on a Republican successor. Obama and his acolytes successfully employed that tactic with his predecessor; you can bet they will do it with his successor.

          1. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

            It will be much easier to blame the ultimate collapse in each of these areas on a Republican successor.

            That’s why we want a Democratic successor to Obama.

            1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

              We?

          2. Tonio   9 years ago

            He may also be presented with a choice between two unpleasant alternatives – a leak that would destroy his legacy vs hanging Hillary out to dry but preserving his legacy (to the extent that’s possible).

        3. R C Dean   9 years ago

          On the other hand, it’s going to be huge mark on his record if his Secretary of State gets indicted for large scale mishandling of classified information.

          Its going to be a mark on his record if she isn’t indicted.

          1. Tonio   9 years ago

            ^This.

          2. Bubba Jones   9 years ago

            But a mark that is more easily forgotten.

            There’s no history chapter on indictments that didn’t happen.

  6. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Sanders’ last night turns into hippie music festival

    But no band “felt the Bern” harder than Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Sharpe inserted Sanders’ name into all of his songs and encouraged the crowd to sing along. After repeatedly professing his deep admiration for Sanders and explaining how “honored” he was to be here singing for Sanders, Sharpe jumped into the crowd.

    “What good is a revolution if there isn’t dancing?” he exclaimed.

    By now the campaign rally hardly looked like a political event anymore. The singer danced with Bernie voters and then after a couple upbeat songs asked the young voters to sit on the ground with him. The entire arena sat on the ground, put their arms around each other and sang “Lean on Me” underneath the “Bernie 2016” banner.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      Remember that Thought Not a Sermon I did a few months ago (#88) where I talked about the worst concerts I’d ever attended? This one would definitely move to first on my lift.

      1. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

        So the numbers have come in handy ONCE…nice. I am going to start numbering my quaternary comments.

        1. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

          #1a

      2. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

        So the numbers have come in handy ONCE…nice. I am going to start numbering my quaternary comments.

        1. Cdr Lytton   9 years ago

          #1b

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Hippie’s were nauseating to me when I learned about them in junior high and they still are today.

      Especially since for many it was an excuse to take drugs, have sex and pretend to be moral about it all. And when they matured they became yuppies in the 1980s and further added nausea.

      1. Drake   9 years ago

        Not sure you have your hippie to yuppie transition right. I saw the yuppies as more a reaction against hippies by the next generation. When I was in college in the 80’s, we called the hippie-wanna-be’s “Bohos”. The still smelled bad, wore shitty clothes, and smoked lots of dope, but nobody took them seriously.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          A lot of formerly hippy types did become yuppies, though. The yuppies of the 80s were definitely of the baby boom generation, many of whom had hippy-ish young adulthoods. I know a fair number of such people.

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

            That’s how I learned and observed it. Either way…fuck ’em. Their the ones with ‘No Bush’ stickers in their little shops but stay quiet on Obama. Fuck ’em.

            1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

              They’re – 17 minutes later.

          2. Rhywun   9 years ago

            Yuppie stands for “young urban professional”. It had nothing to do with hippies. The timing isn’t even right – most hippies were middle-aged by the 80s.

            1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

              Probably. But. Tell that to Google!

              http://bit.ly/1K9L3WE

            2. JWatts   9 years ago

              “Yuppie stands for “young urban professional”. It had nothing to do with hippies. The timing isn’t even right – most hippies were middle-aged by the 80s.”

              There’s not a conflict. Someone born in 1960 could easily have been a hippy in the late 70’s (the movement was still going, though clearly fading.). That same person would be 30 in 1980 and would just be transitioning to a professional career. So that was the point, they started shedding their counter culture image and started making house and car payments.

              1. Rhywun   9 years ago

                they started shedding their counter culture image and started making house and car payments

                Maybe some did this but nobody would have made that connection at the time. Yes, the form of the word was meant to ape “hippie” but other than that there was no link between the two at all.

              2. Zeb   9 years ago

                Yeah, that’s what I was getting at.

            3. Hyperbolical   9 years ago

              You are correct, Rhywun. The yuppies were from the last half of the Boomers–my cohort. The hippies were from the first half. Yuppies were just coming out of college and starting their professional careers in the early 1980s.

              1. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

                There were far fewer hippies than most history texts would have you believe. I think that is due to many education professionals for the “shit sciences” are former hippies going on about how they were part of a revolution blah blah blah (where is Sandi and Barfman). So their tutelage gets forced on several generations who grow up thinking that hippies made a large portion of the population when they really didn’t. That isn’t to say there wasn’t a cultural influence but all in all most people of the 60s and 70s were just average working joes.

            4. Azathoth!!   9 years ago

              They’re boomers.

              Calling themselves ‘young’ in their 30s and 40s is par for the course.

      2. Zeb   9 years ago

        That describes the neo-hippy, Grateful Dead follower type a lot more than actual hippies.

        I’ve got a soft spot for hippies. The actual hippy movement, before it just became a pop culture thing, was pretty interesting. And the back to the land types, while a bit unrealistic about some things, were pretty good in the live and let live way.

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

          Oh, that goes without saying I think. I’m referring to the mass version of it.

        2. JWatts   9 years ago

          “That describes the neo-hippy, Grateful Dead follower type a lot more than actual hippies.”

          So, now there’s a purity test for hippies? The world never ceases to amaze me.

          1. Zeb   9 years ago

            Not a purity test. The hippy movement was a specific thing that happened. Then it became a fashion/lifestyle thing. I just happen to think it is worth making a distinction between a fairly interesting counter-cultural moment and the pop-culture fad that followed it.

    3. Citizen X   9 years ago

      I like Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, but i don’t think i’ll be listening to them any time between now and the elections. Fuck creative people getting involved in politics, they rarely come off looking anything other than stupid.

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        I had the same feeling when the group The National went gung-ho on Obama.

      2. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        I like Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros,

        Noted, you dirty hippie.

    4. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      “put their arms around each other and sang “Lean on Me” underneath the “Bernie 2016″ banner”

      I can’t believe this didn’t turn into a mass suicide.

    5. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

      some video here; http://www.nationalreview.com/…..tock-rally

    6. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   9 years ago

      It wasn’t until last night, when I spotted two or three Sanders-related trending items, that I really saw this as Obama 2.0, and part of me wants him to win just to see all these morons disappointed once again. I kept comparing him and his campaign to Ron Paul in 08 (and still do), but his recent momentum seems to have turned his fans and cultural cachet into overdrive, to where it is finally becoming the dumb Obama phenomenon all over again. Sure, he’s an old white guy, but he could be our “first socialist,” so still history-making and all that.

      Goddamn people are stupid. Especially with that ridiculous CNN Money piece.

  7. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    PETA Verified account
    ?@peta

    Over 300 million chickens were killed for the 1.3 billion wings going to be eaten this #SuperBowlSunday. #TryVegan

    1. Medical Physics Guy   9 years ago

      Vegans don’t have wings. And their thighs are not as tasty as chicken either.

    2. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      #facebookmath

    3. Princess Trigger   9 years ago

      Math is hard.
      Feels is easy.

      hmmm, chicken.

      1. Rich   9 years ago

        Um, *over* 300 million.

        1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

          They could have said “over 3 chickens” too.

          Would they not want to say “Over 650 million”?

          1. Rhywun   9 years ago

            See Florida Man below. Each chicken yields four delicious wing pieces.

            1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

              A DRUMSTICK IS NOT A WING!!!!

              1. Rhywun   9 years ago

                Ahem. I come from wing country. I think I know what one is.

                1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

                  I can count to two, when looking at a chicken and identifying the number of wings it has!

                  *stamps foot*

      2. Florida Man   9 years ago

        Each wing is cut into a flat and drum. 4 X 300 million is 1.2 billion.

    4. Lee G   9 years ago

      Megadeath approves

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        Kill one chicken, and you’re a murderer. Kill many, and you’re a conqueror. Kill them all, and you’re a god.

        1. IndyEleven   9 years ago

          I laughed.

        2. Azathoth!!   9 years ago

          Kill one chicken, and you’re a murderer. Kill many, and you’re a conqueror. Kill them all, and you’re Colonel-fucking-Sanders.

          FTFY

    5. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

      Is there a similar cry about victims of Warty on his bacchanalia?

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        No, because nobody who has tried to investigate has ever returned.

    6. Roger the Shrubber   9 years ago

      I personally contributed to the death of at least 8 of those chickens. If is makes PETA feel any better, if I had my choice I would have merely harvested the wings of those chickens and then released them to live out their natural lives in the wild.

    7. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      Over 300 million chickens were killed for the 1.3 billion wings going to be eaten this #SuperBowlSunday

      I think the number PETA is looking for is 650 million. Assuming we’re dealing with normal chickens and not genetically engineered six-winged mutant chickens, of course.

      1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        That’s mighty humane of you DOM 5K. I personally think wings are stupid, and pointless, and make me uncomfortable because it gets my face all coated and weird with the sauce.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          I personally think wings are stupid, and pointless

          Noted, person who must be a dirty Commie.

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   9 years ago

            C’mon Crusty! Elspeth set you up like that:

            because it gets my face all coated and weird with the sauce

            You know who else…?

        2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

          I’m no fan of wings, either. They are messy and a lot of work for a small amount of low-quality, mostly fatty, meat.

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            I am losing even more faith in humanity.

            1. Rhywun   9 years ago

              Yeah, this doesn’t compute.

    8. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      If people stopped eating chickens how many chickens would there be in the world?

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        None?

        1. Rich   9 years ago

          LOL

      2. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        They’d be like tribbles. We have to eat them to keep the population down.

        1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

          We have to thin out the herds to prevent overpopulation. If we don’t kill them, they’ll die.

      3. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

        Honestly, I think if you want to make an animal’s population go up, make it a table meat. If everyone started eating it, then there would be a demand to sell it = no more endangered species.

        1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

          White Rhino Burgers – coming to a McDonald’s near you!

          1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

            Not the black rhino burgers? Interesting…

            1. Citizen X   9 years ago

              Irish approves.

    9. Zeb   9 years ago

      Why do they think it is interesting to anyone that people eat meat and the animals are killed before being eaten?

      1. Rhywun   9 years ago

        Because they like hectoring people and trying to turn them into New Soviet Man?

      2. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   9 years ago

        I guess they think that, if we didn’t eat those wings on Sunday, all of those chickens would continue living until old age.

        But then I thought the chickens had horrible lives stuck in pens, so isn’t a mercy killing?

        1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

          It is sort of a mercy killing, but hundreds of millions of chickens wouldn’t ever have had to be born and raised in slavery if there were no chicken-as-meat industry. Those horrible lives stuck in pens could have been avoided altogether.

          1. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

            Chickens live stupid lives even without cages. I grew up raising over 60 chickens. We had about 30 layers and between 30-40 feeders every year. The layers were slightly above minimum brain function but the androgynous feeders were almost unable to continue breathing. (The rooster wasn’t dumb he just fucking mean as shit, tough as nails, and insane, but not dumb). We slaughtered our feeders each year in October and we had a large log with two nails in the top, the chickens would be gathered and tied together by the feet laying in a line on the ground. They would calmly place their own neck between the nails right after seeing the one in front of them lose his head to an ax. Damn they were tasty.

          2. EMD   9 years ago

            Did anyone bother to ask the chickens?

        2. Bubba Jones   9 years ago

          PETA wants all the chickens dead, forever. Chicken life is suffering, therefore the correct answer is no more living chickens.

      3. cgr2727   9 years ago

        and the animals are killed before being eaten

        Let’s start really fucking with their PETA-addled minds and NOT killing the animals before we eat them!

    10. Jed Templin   9 years ago

      Not to defend PETA, but in defense of math, butchery, and hot wings: One chicken gets you four buffalo wings (two wingettes and two drumettes)
      So 325 million chickens = 1.3 billion wings

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        Who gets the parson’s nose?

        Is that really how you count wings? I’d feel ripped off if I ordered a dozen wings and got half.

        1. Jed Templin   9 years ago

          Every buffalo wing order I’ve ever had was made up of wingettes and drumettes (which everyone refers to as wings and drumsticks, although they are just the two halves of the wing and the actual drumstick is from the leg).
          Okay, enough with the pedantry- “Bite me, PETA!”

        2. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

          I’ve never seen it. The wingtips are trimmed and roasted for soup base. It sounds like a cheap trick. But then, I’ve never worked at wing-centric restaurant, so people who eat a lot of wings might know better.

          1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

            Normal American buffalo wings are 4 or even 6 to a chicken. My KBBQ wings place does sell whole wings and they’re decidedly not what you’d get if you ordered buffalo wings at any normal American restaurant.

            1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

              Six?

              ….

              How?

              I’ve

        3. Florida Man   9 years ago

          If you order a dozen you got 3 chickens worth.

          1. Zeb   9 years ago

            That’s bullshit. False advertising.

    11. BigT   9 years ago

      Wait, those weren’t from buffaloes?

    12. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

      #oreatbonelesswingstoo

      1. EMD   9 years ago

        #bonelesswingsmatter

    13. Rasilio   9 years ago

      And, if we stopped using them as a food source you know what would have to happen to ALL of the domesticated chickens?

      That’s right they’d ALL have to be killed because the land used to raise their feed would have to be diverted to being used to grow food for humans

      1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

        Is that supposed to make PETA feel bad? Why would they prefer hundreds of millions of chickens living “in slavery” as they see it and being killed for food over those same chickens simply never coming into existence?

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          No, I think it just emphasizes how fucking stupid PETA is. I do believe that their position is generally that domesticated animals shouldn’t exist at all.

          1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

            Correct, they believe that domestic animals are enslaved.

        2. JWatts   9 years ago

          “Is that supposed to make PETA feel bad?”

          Probably not. But PETA should think ahead. They don’t want to be the last domesticated meat animal alive.

        3. robc   9 years ago

          Most slaves prefer it to death. New Hampshire is the exception.

        4. cgr2727   9 years ago

          …those same chickens simply never coming into existence

          Careful, you chicken-abortionist…next thing you know the chicken-right-to-lifers will be coming after you!

          #scrambled_eggs

      2. Pay up, Palin's Buttplug!   9 years ago

        I know the wild cow ? the aurochs ? is extinct. Is the wild chicken still around?

        1. JD the elder   9 years ago

          Pretty much. The red junglefowl is maybe not exactly a chicken, but if you saw it, you would probably say, “hey, a chicken”, and it can interbreed with domestic chickens.

    14. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      /bites into chicken wings.

      Whaaa?

      Oh.

      /takes another bite. Barbarically wipes mouth with hand.

      1. Florida Man   9 years ago

        i’m will to grant it’s murder, but the real question is who is going to stop me.

    15. Adans smith   9 years ago

      With the amount of ducks,geese,dove,upland birds ,small game and deer I have shot over the last 30+ years I am a mass murderer.I have also pressed 4 labs into slavery to serve my blood lust.

      1. WTF   9 years ago

        The dogs don’t think it’s slavery, the dogs think it’s a game.

        1. Peachy rex   9 years ago

          False consciousness, comrade!

    16. Hyperbolical   9 years ago

      Those are some strange GMO chickens to have 4 wings each. At least they didn’t have to kill 650 million to get those wings.

    17. R C Dean   9 years ago

      Never forget:

      PETA runs animal shelters. They aren’t “no-kill” shelters, more like “all-kill” shelters.

      I don’t even want to know what exercise of mental illness they go through to justify that.

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        I recently watched the Penn and Teller Bullshit on PETA. Holy shit. I think that PETA killed like 90% of the animals they take in themselves. And yet they organize protests and call shelters that do kill some animals (at much lower rates than PETA themselves) murderers. The people running PETA are some seriously disturbing personalities.

  8. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

    “The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015.”

    We’re #1!

    1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      We’re gonna need a bigger trophy case.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *opera applause*

    2. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Dammit!

    3. Rich   9 years ago

      “U. S. OWWWWW!!“

    4. Tonio   9 years ago

      Suck it, Australia. And I know we have way more miles of coastline, but not that many people swim, surf or paddle in Alaska and those that do have a very short season.

      1. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

        It isn’t our coastline, it is our waistlines.

        If you are a shark, are you gonna want to eat a stringy Aussie (who tastes like mutton) or a nice juicy, well marbled yank?

        1. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

          Note, not too many shark attacks off the coast of Japan and China…well, there are it just isn’t the sharks doing the attacking.

  9. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    Voters in New Hampshire are heading to the polls today for the state’s presidential primary.

    Quick, free-stater projecteers, homestead their homes while they’re out!

  10. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    Charles Sebesta, a former Texas prosecutor who used false testimony to send an innocent man to death row, has been disbarred.

    Poor Sebesta, hit with such a disproportionate punishment.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      NEEDZ MOAR BRAZEN BULL

    2. Tonio   9 years ago

      The boats. Seriously. The only death penalty should be for malfeasance by government officials which results in the unjust fining, land-grabbing, incarceration, injury or death of a citizen.

      1. BigT   9 years ago

        The only death penalty should be for malfeasance by government officials which results in the unjust fining, land-grabbing, incarceration, injury or death of a citizen.

        So, the 5 votes in Kelo should be executed. I’m ok with that.

        Justice Stevens wrote the majority opinion, joined by Justices Anthony Kennedy, David Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer.

    3. Adans smith   9 years ago

      I’d prefer dismembered.

  11. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Senate report: Illegal immigrants benefited from up to $750M in ObamaCare subsidies

    The review found the credits went to more than 500,000 people ? who are illegal immigrants or whose legal status was unclear due to insufficient records.

    The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services confirmed to FoxNews.com on Monday that 471,000 customers with 2015 coverage failed to produce proper documentation on their citizenship or immigration status on time ? but stressed that this does not necessarily mean they’re ineligible.

    “Lack of verification does not mean an individual is ineligible for financial assistance, but only that a Marketplace did not receive sufficient information to verify eligibility in the time period outlined in the law,” CMS spokesman Aaron Albright said.

    The Senate report also accused the administration of lacking a solid plan to get that money back ? and predicted that in the end, the IRS will be “unable to fully recoup the funds.”

    1. WTF   9 years ago

      You do realize this makes you a pants-shitting xenophobe, right?

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        oh I’ve been filling my pants for a long time

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          Pics?

    2. Lee G   9 years ago

      “Lack of verification does not mean an individual is ineligible for financial assistance, but only that a Marketplace did not receive sufficient information to verify eligibility in the time period outlined in the law,”

      I’m going to use that excuse next time they ask me for employee verification records.

    3. R C Dean   9 years ago

      Geez, Humungus, the line for racism forms over there, behind Irish.*

      OK, gang, we’ve had some fun with the Irish is a racist thing, but I wouldn’t mind seeing it retired.

      1. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

        Sure, we’ll retire it when we drop the “Nikki is the worst” thing or the “Warty is a violent serial sexual predator” thing.

        1. This Machine Chips Fascists   9 years ago

          AND STEVE SMITH RULE WORLD

        2. R C Dean   9 years ago

          I know, but to me, those are obviously jokes, and the racist thing isn’t so obviously a joke.

  12. Rich   9 years ago

    Wanna see a supernova?

    1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

      Pre-fat James Spader? You know I do!

    2. Citizen X   9 years ago

      That is rad. Where’s Warty to provide us with a suitably metal soundtrack?

      1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

        Suitably metal.

    3. Zeb   9 years ago

      I’m always impressed that there are things that big that happen so quickly.

      1. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

        go on…

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          What I’m trying to say is that I have a big dick.

          1. Citizen X   9 years ago

            …that happen so quickly

            Poor Mrs. Zeb.

            1. Zeb   9 years ago

              Yeah, I set myself up good, there.

    4. BigT   9 years ago

      Wanna see a supernova?

      That’s old news. 80 million years old.

      1. neoteny   9 years ago

        That’s what you get with government-funded science. Market-based science would have reported this 80 million years ago.

        1. JWatts   9 years ago

          Maybe they did, but then the Libertarian Dinotopia descended into a lizard eat lizard state of anarchy and did then all in. /ducks

    5. Clich? Bandit   9 years ago

      I truly love that shit. Talk about a little perspective. That one little boom was putting out more energy than the galaxy it was sitting in. Damn.

  13. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    FBI general counsel James Baker filed a letter in federal court yesterday reaffirming that the FBI’s probe into Hillary Clinton’s private email server is “ongoing.”

    More like James Berniebro Baker.

  14. Bee Tagger   9 years ago

    The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015.

    Make America a bigger boat again.

  15. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Donald Trump: I can tell refugees ‘you can’t come here’

    “I know what you’re doing and I fully understand it. And we all have a heart,” Trump said, adding again at the end of his response: “I understand where you’re coming from, but there is a second view to that.”

    Trump also argued that the creation of safe zones in Syria to host refugees would be a better solution to address the refugee crisis spawned by the Syrian civil war.

    “You look at it and you say we have enough problems,” Trump said. “I have a bigger heart than anybody in this room. We take an area in Syria … and we build a safe zone.”

    But Ornitz, who came to New Hampshire to attend different events with different presidential candidates, said in an interview after the event that while Trump’s “human side” emerged, he was “not at all” satisfied with the response.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

      “I have a bigger heart than anybody in this room.”

      Trump has a 22 pound heart. Don’t even ask about his liver.

      1. Zeb   9 years ago

        He is The Grinch.

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

          The Grump?

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

            I know, I know….

            /motions to Swiss.

            1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

              *narrows gaze*

  16. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

    “The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015”

    ‘MURICA!!!

    1. Florida Man   9 years ago

      You’re welcome.
      /the great state of Florida

  17. Lee G   9 years ago

    Because you all were waiting for Jimmy Carter’s endorsement in the GOP Primary

    If he had to choose between them, “I think I would choose Trump, which may surprise some of you,” he said.

    “The reason is, Trump has proven already he’s completely malleable,” Carter said. “I don’t think he has any fixed (positions) he’d go the White House and fight for. On the other hand, Ted Cruz is not malleable. He has far right-wing policies he’d pursue if he became president.”

    1. Palin's Buttplug   9 years ago

      Trump also supports Obamacare.

      1. Tonio   9 years ago

        Did you make that donation, yet?

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Give him time, his mom said she’d loan him the money as soon as she gets her SS check.

          1. What's that smell?   9 years ago

            and he cleans his room

        2. Palin's Buttplug   9 years ago

          Yes. I expect a public note from Matt Welch in the next week.

          1. WTF   9 years ago

            Sure, sure you do.

          2. Domestic Dissident   9 years ago

            Nobody believes you, Weigel. Keep it up though; we’re all laughing at your dumb ass.

            By the way, how are Jeb Bush’s prospects looking in the primary today?

      2. kbolino   9 years ago

        He says he supports a private market and subsidies. There’s another 1499 pages of the PPACA, you idiot.

    2. BearOdinson   9 years ago

      Just when I was getting discouraged about Cruz, something comes along and makes me go all in for him again!

      1. BearOdinson   9 years ago

        Seriously, I doubt there is anything of significance that I would agree with Carter on. He has the prudishness of the religious right (except for abortion, because well, politics trumps religion), with the economics of Bernie. And he was ahead of the curve on the American left in his anti-Semitism and hatred for Israel.

        1. R C Dean   9 years ago

          He did dabble in deregulation a little, so there’s that.

  18. Illocust   9 years ago

    “FBI general counsel James Baker filed a letter in federal court yesterday reaffirming that the FBI’s probe into Hillary Clinton’s private email server is “ongoing.””

    I can’t figure out what is going on here. Are they waiting to see if she’ll be elected before moving ahead. Are they trying to cover their asses to make sure there is no weasel room once she’s indicted. Are they engaging in an act of resistance and refusing to stop despite DOJ saying they won’t prosecute. Are they trying to provide her cover by being able to say we looked into every nook and cranny so she has to be innocent.

    This whole thing has a million different possible explanations.

    1. BigT   9 years ago

      trying to cover their asses to make sure there is no weasel room once she’s indicted

      or not indicted.

      This is political dynamite either way. They are trying to make sure the fuse is long enough so that when it goes off they are well clear of the explosion.

    2. R C Dean   9 years ago

      I think they are trying to put enough pressure on her to force her out of the race without having to indict her. Probably trying to work up a pardon deal with Obama on his way out, like Ford pardoning Nixon.

      The Repubs are making noises about an special prosecutor. Nobody wants that, but if she isn’t indicted, they may get one anyway.

  19. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Dyslexic employee wins discrimination case against Starbucks

    In December, an employment tribunal found that Starbucks had victimised Meseret Kumulchew after she inaccurately recorded the water and fridge temperatures as part of her duties as a supervisor at Starbucks in Clapham, south-west London.

    The tribunal heard that Starbucks accused Kumulchew of falsifying the recordings, reduced her responsibilities and ordered her to retrain.

    A separate hearing to determine how much compensation Starbucks should pay will be held in the next few weeks.

    Kumulchew, who is still employed by Starbucks, said she had made her bosses aware of her dyslexia, and the accusation of falsifying numbers had made her want to take her own life.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Campaigners say the ruling highlights the duty of all employers to make allowances for staff with dyslexia.

      Oh, SSF!

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *gaze narrows*

    2. Tonio   9 years ago

      Yeah, because it would be totally discriminatory and wrong to not hire a blind person to do color correction.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        I probably should not have laughed as hard as I did at that. But what are you gonna do?

    3. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Coming to America…soon.

    4. Lee G   9 years ago

      As long as the members of the tribunal personally bear all responsibility for any food poisoning incidents and spoilage costs, I’m fine with this.

      1. Illocust   9 years ago

        Seriously, is Starbucks going to be off the hook for any damage she caused? If not it’s ridiculous to say they have to keep her in that position. Also, why is she recording this stuff herself if she has trouble recording the right numbers. She has a ton of employees with no issues she could make do it for her.

        1. Lee G   9 years ago

          My guess is that Starbucks had to call it fraud, because her “disability” is protected by law. They probably can’t fire or discipline her for anything that could fall under that designation. It’s a Catch-22 situation for the employer.

        2. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

          You assume she can delegate, you don’t know it. Duties such as calibrating the equipment, in some locations, will have health department mandates controlling who as well as how, when and how often.

          One of those weird little rules that make no sense unless a business chooses it voluntarily. There’s lots of them.

          1. Illocust   9 years ago

            Even if she can’t delegate the job, she can get someone to check her work. Examine the numbers then call a coworker over and ask if they see the same thing. This has to do with health regulations and can get her store shut down. A good manager would be careful.

            1. R C Dean   9 years ago

              This has to do with health regulations and can get her store shut down.

              Or, you know, make people really sick.

          2. Tonio   9 years ago

            I suspect that the manager has to sign off on the figures according to corporate policy and perhaps govt regulations. There is no guarantee that she’d be able to tell whether the numbers she signed off on were correct.

            Dyslexia is a bona fide disability, but one that, unfortunately, disqualifies people from many jobs. That is sad, but unavoidable.

    5. Zeb   9 years ago

      No , they shouldn’t make “allowances” if the person can’t do the job properly.

      Many dyslexic people develop techniques that allow them to do what they need to without their handicap getting in the way. I know a few people with dyslexia who, once they figured out techniques for note taking and reading and stuff and have done quite well in school and careers.

      If she can’t get it right, she needs to learn how to or get a job where dyslexia isn’t a problem.

    6. Pope Jimbo   9 years ago

      I’m shocked that anyone even looked at her numbers. My guess is that there is something else going on here.

      I’ve done a ton of work creating remote monitoring of QSR’s (quick serve restaurants) in the past. The ugly truth is that any manual numbers collected at a store are all BS. Some kid has to write down a cooler temp every hour? I gay-ron-tee you that he doesn’t do shit about it until (maybe) his shift is over and then he writes 35 for each hourly entry.

      She must have pissed off someone who wanted to fire her and used the fact that she didn’t even write down plausible numbers on a temp sheet as the pretext. Given the difficulty in firing someone in the UK, they were grasping for any straw.

    7. EMD   9 years ago

      Kumulchew, who is still employed by Starbucks, said she had made her bosses aware of her dyslexia, and the accusation of falsifying numbers had made her want to take her own life.

      How much does she make on the side as a drama queen?

  20. Princess Trigger   9 years ago

    FBI general counsel James Baker filed a letter in federal court yesterday reaffirming that the FBI’s probe into Hillary Clinton’s private email server is “ongoing.”

    Is this like asset forfeiture – where they sue the money? They’re just investigating the server.
    Servers are all republican haters!

  21. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    On the Front Lines of Puerto Rico’s Movement to Legalize Marijuana

    “We made an official petition and held a ‘free Jeremy’ vigil at the governor’s mansion and my band played there,” said Martin. “Then this January the governor came to Vieques for Three Kings Day to pass gifts to children in the park, and I went to talk with him. I introduced myself and said I play with Free Juana. He took me aside and asked me, ‘How much time has Jeremy been inside?’ He was worried about it.”

    Within days, Padilla released Ruiz Tomassini from prison, claiming he was not an enforcement priority.

    Ruiz Tomassini’s pardon was just one indicator that Puerto Rico is edging away from its notoriously harsh marijuana laws. Current legislation allows judges to sentence people up to five years for nominal possession, and up to ten years for possession near a recreational area (public use spaces like parks and schools). But recently politicians have begun changing their approaches towards the drug and activists like Martin see it as an opportunity to pave the way toward legalization.

  22. Palin's Buttplug   9 years ago

    Here’s hoping that little authoritarian, theocratic piece of shit finishes in 5th place tonight. And I mean Lil’ Taco in case you have trouble picking the little one out of the other authoritarian war-mongers.

    1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

      Even your bigotry is innacurate.

      Pick any more stocks lately?

      Buying lots of $600/oz gold?

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        *inaccurate*

      2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

        Has he squelched on his $20 bet yet?

      3. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

        Yeah, but to be fair, *someone* had to push back against the vast groundswell of support Rubio has on these here comment boards.

        1. Florida Man   9 years ago

          I’m the only one supporting Rubio and that’s just to win a bet with PB. How’s bush doing partner?

  23. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Report: Jupiter man arrested for tossing gator into Wendy’s

    Joshua James, 23, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, illegally killing, possessing or capturing an alligator, and second-degree larceny petit theft, according to the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office.
    Report: Jupiter man arrested for tossing gator into Wendy’s photo

    He has not been released on bail as of Monday afternoon. WPTV reports that the incident occurred in October, but James had only been arrested recently by U.S. Marshals.

    Officials with Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission told WPTV that James pulled up for his order, and after a server handed a drink and turned around, James tossed the 3 1/2-foot gator into the drive-through window.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Alabama man pales in comparison.

    2. R C Dean   9 years ago

      Satsurfing this weekend, I caught part of a Swamp People episode. Hardcore Louisiana rednecks who hunt alligators for a living.

      Sometimes, the gators are bigger than their boats. When they made the kill shot on one gator, it literally bounced off his head and hit the hunter in the belly. They are completely out of their minds.

  24. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

    Climate Change: The Science Is Settled

    File under “unintended consequences.”

    1. Lee G   9 years ago

      Filed under “broken link”

      1. Old Man With Candy   9 years ago

        I spend too much time with SugarFree.

        1. Citizen X   9 years ago

          Careful, you don’t want to catch the ‘beetus from him.

    2. Rich   9 years ago

      *Double* unintended, even.

    3. Medical Physics Guy   9 years ago

      this was the intended: http://www.scientificamerican……tist-jobs/

      *skips lunch to consume schadenfreude*

      1. Illocust   9 years ago

        It’s interesting reading that article. It’s not very clear at what point data actually got reliable for the southern hemisphere. At one point they say 1970, but then they start talking about 1986. It would be neat to have a graphic that showed when reliable monitoring stations went up where.

      2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

        Too funny. In Canada, government scientists went apeshit over Harper accusing him of ‘muzzling’ them. Naturally, the media ran with that bull shit.

      3. Overt   9 years ago

        Talk about working yourself out of a job.

        This just shows to go you. These guys should be elated that the government has accepted their premise and has moved on to adaptation to climate change. They could jump way ahead of every other nation in technologies such as CO2 sinks and ways to increase the amount of solar radiation pumped back into space. Instead they are acting like their mission in life is just to record more numbers each year to continue the finger wagging. Hmmmm….

    4. John   9 years ago

      That is awesome.

      1. R C Dean   9 years ago

        I can’t stop laughing. This is what “hoist on your own petard” means.

    5. SugarFree   9 years ago

      Even the oldest cannot escape me.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        You are LEGION.

    6. BigT   9 years ago

      The nation (Australia) is already the driest on Earth

      Not Saudi, Kuwait, UAE, Qatar or one of those ME cesspools?

      cite needed

      1. JWatts   9 years ago

        According to the World Bank, Australia is not a particularly dry country. It ranks just below Canada and Finland.

        http://data.worldbank.org/indi…..t&sort=asc

        1. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

          So, not only are Australia’s climatologists unable to predict the climate, they are incapable of honestly describing its historical and current climate.

      2. Caput Lupinum   9 years ago

        According to this, Egypt was the driest county in 2014 by average rainfall. Australia was 40 something. While parts of Australia are very dry, the continent as a whole gets a good amount of rain. Besides, if they wanted to split hairs about Australia having some exceptionally dry parts, they would still lose to Chile due to the Atacama, the driest desert outside of Antarctica.

  25. Lee G   9 years ago

    The FBI appeals to kids to not be extremists with this cutting edge website

    This website is designed to help do just that. Built by the FBI in consultation with community leaders and other partners, it uses a series of interactive materials to educate teens on the destructive nature of violent extremism and to encourage them to think critically about its messages and goals.

    The site emphasizes that by blindly accepting radical ideologies, teens are essentially becoming the “puppets” of violent extremists who simply want them to carry out their destructive mission?which often includes targeting or killing innocent people.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      The site emphasizes that by blindly accepting radical ideologies, teens are essentially becoming the “puppets” of violent extremists

      As opposed to “by blindly accepting *normal* ideologies”.

      1. Lee G   9 years ago

        Remember, every FBI shooting has always been justified. They’ve never killed an innocent person.

    2. WTF   9 years ago

      Let me guess, they consider constitutionalists to be “radical ideologies” and never mention Islamic terrorism.

    3. Rasilio   9 years ago

      I’m thinking this could make the job of military recruiters harder

    4. Rhywun   9 years ago

      The FBI appeals to kids to not be extremists

      It will be amusing when this has the exact opposite effect.

  26. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Hillary Clinton: Dancing Queen

    According to a new Washington Free Beacon supercut, Clinton has busted a move in venues all over the world, from South Africa to New Hampshire. Her preferred soundtrack is just as diverse, though she often gets down to girl power songs by Taylor Swift and Rachel Platten.

    As far as moves go, Clinton is a master of the side-to-side step and the fist pump. She has also been caught engaging in some flashy jazz hands.

    Though she has some pretty good moves in her arsenal, she is never satisfied. In order to expand her repertoire, Clinton has gone on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to learn dances like the ‘Whip/Nae Nae’ and the ‘Dab.’

    1. Drake   9 years ago

      Just no.

    2. Krabappel   9 years ago

      And there goes my breakfast.

  27. John   9 years ago

    http://www.breitbart.com/londo…..n-tip-off/

    In the latest of a series of raids, German police have searched two homes in a rural village after a television channel interviewed a suspected Islamic State commander living there as a refugee.

    But everyone who said ISIS would put operatives in with the “refugees” was just a pants shitting racist.

    1. Medical Physics Guy   9 years ago

      Every english language publication outside of Breitbart still says that. I have to say, Breitbart has really performed brilliantly with the refugee news and found a good niche for themselves.

      1. John   9 years ago

        The media, including of course Reason, just won’t cover the story. It is disgraceful.

        1. Drake   9 years ago

          Open borders always good – Mkay?

      2. Zeb   9 years ago

        Every english language publication outside of Breitbart still says that.

        Really? That’s retarded. Of course there are bad people among the refugees.

        1. John   9 years ago

          Not bad people Zeb, ISIS operatives. The idea that ISIS is using the refugee wave to put operatives into Europe is something all right thinking people, including a lot of people on here, consider a paranoid fantasy.

          1. Zeb   9 years ago

            Well, I have no idea if that is happening. But I’d be a little surprised if it wasn’t. Of course, what constitutes an ISIS operative could be a lot of different things.

            1. John   9 years ago

              Well, I have no idea if that is happening.

              Do you not believe the link? An Islamic state commander is living in one of the camps. How can you say you have no idea it is happening, when the link shows that it clearly is?

              1. Zeb   9 years ago

                Sure, I believe it. It leaves it unclear what his motivations or intentions were in coming to Germany and whether he was there to act as an agent of ISIS.

                I can say I have no idea because all I know is what I read and everyone seems to have some kind of agenda.

                Why do you think it matters if I take a strong view on this? Germany isn’t going to consult me on their immigrant/refugee policies. Exactly the same thing is going to happen whether I remain agnostic, decide that this is a planned Islamic invasion of Europe, or pretend that every immigrant has pure and peaceful intentions. Whatever the facts are is what they are.

                1. John   9 years ago

                  I think it matters because the truth matters. It is clearly happening and it is wrong to deny the truth. What you make of that truth is of course up to you. The fact that ISIS is doing this doesn’t mean you are somehow obligated to support denying entry to these people. Whatever your position, no one should deny reality.

                  1. Zeb   9 years ago

                    What is clearly happening? That people associated in some way with ISIS are coming into Europe, yes. I don’t see much beyond that as very clear.

                    1. John   9 years ago

                      That people associated in some way with ISIS are coming into Europe, yes.

                      Can you be more obtuse? Yes, people associated with ISIS are hiding within the refugee mobs. Thanks for conceding the point. Sadly, you seem to have retreated into another phase of denial where you pretend that we don’t really know that they are doing that for malevolent purposes. Yeah, I mean ISIS may just want to send people to Europe to enjoy the scenery and culture.

                    2. Zeb   9 years ago

                      I don’t know that they are doing it for malevolent purposes. And I don’t know that ISIS is sending them. I’m not denying anything. That may well be what is happening. Maybe this guy did want to do something terrible. Maybe he really did want to learn German and work in a restaurant.

                      I am also interested in the truth. Sorry if I don’t just take your word for it. And yes, I could spend more time researching the subject. But I have other things I’d rather be doing, and as I said above, my having a strong view on the matter makes no difference one way or another.

                    3. R C Dean   9 years ago

                      I don’t know that they are doing it for malevolent purposes. And I don’t know that ISIS is sending them.

                      What sort of evidence would satisfy you? In all seriousness, there is a lot of bad info being propagated around this migrant wave, so I think some caution is in order, but if the bad actors aren’t weeded out early and in a lawful and orderly manner, the backlash is going to get worse and more indiscriminate.

                    4. Zeb   9 years ago

                      They should weed them out as well as they can. I’m not saying that the German police shouldn’t find out who these people are and if they are dangerous. I’m just saying I’m not in a position to know myself. I’m not saying that the German police can’t know enough to determine whether this guy is a terrorist or ISIS organizer. I would be surprised if there weren’t some.

                      So, to be clear, I do hope that the police in Germany and other places in Europe do all they can to weed out the bad guys. Whatever amount of actual organized ISIS stuff there is in Europe, they do need to take it seriously and crack down on it or, as you say, the backlash will be very ugly.

                      Obviously, I’m very much on the side of the right of people to freely migrate. But I’m not under any illusion that no and consequences can ever come from immigration, especially in a really fucked up crisis situation like in Syria right now.

              2. Rhywun   9 years ago

                For now he wants to concentrate on his professional future, telling SPIEGEL TV: “I want to learn German and work as a cook.”

                I don’t know why all the pants-shitting. He just wants to learn German and be a cook!

                1. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   9 years ago

                  He’ll be a cook advertising his services on Germany’s craigslist.

                  Lock him up before he kills again!

                  1. John   9 years ago

                    Sure MJGreen. I bet he got that commander position in ISIS by dumb luck. I doubt he is guilty of God knows how many horrific crimes or anything. The German cops are just a bunch of big meanies. Kind of like those nasty Israelis who got all hot and bothered about those German refugees in South America. All a guy like Eichman wanted to do was get a job and live in peace.

                    1. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   9 years ago

                      Get back on your meds, John.

                    2. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   9 years ago

                      Actually, I guess I need to explain: it was an attempted joke about Germans asking on craigslist to be killed, cooked, and eaten.

                    3. John   9 years ago

                      My apologies MJ. I didn’t get the joke.

                    4. Zeb   9 years ago

                      Didn’t the article say he got his ISIS position because his brother was a Sharia Judge and had connections?

      3. JWatts   9 years ago

        “Every english language publication outside of Breitbart still says that. I have to say, Breitbart has really performed brilliantly with the refugee news and found a good niche for themselves.”

        Nah, nah, nah, nah. /keeps fingers placed in ears

    2. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

      It’s the same thinking that says there are US agents inside the rings of some radical leftist groups. Makes sense, in the “if you want to know your enemy, sing his song” sort of way.

    3. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      When you think of it, it’s pretty irresponsible what Merkel did. Putting all that pressure on law enforcement like that. Why did she take in that many so quickly as opposed to slowly vetting and taking their time? What was the point of rushing it? Clearly, not all of those people were escaping war and officials had to have known this at the time.

      1. John   9 years ago

        And then the media bitches about people not trusting the government and turning to the rightwing. What the hell are they supposed to do when the other options clearly don’t give a shit about public safety?

      2. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

        It does seem strange. Either there is some genuine Cytotoxic level stupidity going on, or it’s more of a crisitunity thing. Create chaos, so that people will beg you to remove freedom to restore order. Seems to have worked out for the French police state so far.

    4. WTF   9 years ago

      Posting a link to that article makes you a pants-shitting racist. And xenophobe.

      1. John   9 years ago

        Cytoxic’s response to a story about a woman being raped and murdered by refugees in Sweden was “it was nothing and just sensationalism.” That is right, a woman being raped and murdered is “nothing”.

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

          Yeah well, I wonder if he’d adjust his thinking if it was his daughter.

          1. John   9 years ago

            He totally would. He is all about other people sacrificing for his ideals.

          2. WTF   9 years ago

            Yeah, I’m sure he would go the old “eggs, omeletes” route.

          3. Citizen X   9 years ago

            Cytotoxic is like 12. He still thinks girls are icky.

    5. Rhywun   9 years ago

      His original ambition had been to be a suicide bomber

      But he couldn’t resist the gem?tlichkeit of the locals, with their tasty wursts and weins.

  28. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Canada to end ISIL air strikes within weeks

    Following up on campaign promises he made last year to withdraw Canada’s jets, Trudeau said on Monday that his country’s contribution to the fight against ISIL would be extended until the end of March 2017 – but would be “a non-combat mission”.

    “It is important to understand that while air strike operations can be very useful to achieve short-term military and territorial gains, they do not on their own achieve long-term stability for local communities,” Trudeau told reporters in Ottawa.

    “We will be supporting and empowering local forces to take their fight directly to ISIL so that kilometre by kilometre they can reclaim their homes, their land and their future.”

    1. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      And yet they still allow their geese to fly here and shit all over my driveway.

      1. Citizen X   9 years ago

        The Canada geese in my area don’t even migrate anymore. They are a permanent occupying force. And yet, the international community says NOTHING.

        1. JWatts   9 years ago

          “And yet, the international community says NOTHING.”

          What? You mean you haven’t got your eviction notice yet. Your house has now been designated a protected wet land because it’s within 1 AU of a Federal body of water. You’ll need to move to an area outside of the protected wet lands. You have 90 days to comply or risk Federal fines and possible prosecution.

    2. BearOdinson   9 years ago

      “We will be supporting and empowering local forces to take their fight directly to ISIL so that kilometre by kilometre they can reclaim their homes, their land and their future.”

      Um, who are they training to reclaim their homes, their land and their future? Would that be the non-existent “not-ISIS rebels” that McCain and Obama were so eager to help? Because it sounds like “local forces” to reclaim their land would be forces loyal to Assad. And it can’t be true that a good liberal humanist like Trudeau would be supporting Assad would it?

      1. OneOut   9 years ago

        All of the possible bodies for an anti ISIS force are in Europe demanding “their money” and raping women.

      2. OneOut   9 years ago

        All of the possible bodies for an anti ISIS force are in Europe demanding “their money” and raping women.

      3. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

        Trudeau will go where the strong arms are, because A) shallow and B) loves dictators.

        That’s a liberal ‘humanist’.

      4. CatoTheChipper   9 years ago

        “Um, who are they training to reclaim their homes, their land and their future?”

        The MMMs: moderate Muslim militants.

  29. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

    “Charles Sebesta, a former Texas prosecutor who used false testimony to send an innocent man to death row, has been disbarred.”

    I hope this comes with an automatic review of his cases; particularly those where death row are concerned?

    Other than that, I don’t normally wish deathly ill on people but for people like him, I wish for a special place in hell.

  30. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    India blocks Facebook’s plan for free Internet

    Critics argued that the program violated the central tenets of net neutrality, which stipulate that all Internet content and users should be treated equally. They also said the program, billed as altruistic, too closely mirrored Facebook’s commercial aims.

    CEO Mark Zuckerberg had pushed back against these critics, arguing that the “Free Basics” platform was open to all software developers, had no advertisements and would help less fortunate users escape poverty.

    “Instead of wanting to give people access to some basic internet services for free, critics of the program continue to spread false claims — even if that means leaving behind a billion people,” the Facebook CEO wrote recently in the Times of India. “Who could possibly be against this?”

    1. Hamster of Doom   9 years ago

      “Instead of wanting to give people access to some basic internet services for free…

      Zuckerberg needs to drop Facebook. I mean, sure, it was a neat little side gig, for a while. But when you have come up with a business plan to get a product to a billion people for free, without advertising, why mess about with this little league shit?

      Best. Businessman. Ever.

    2. Zeb   9 years ago

      Man, India needs to get rid of it’s idiotic socialist ruling class. It could really get somewhere if they could get rid of people like these assholes and that awful woman who lies about GMO crops.

      1. Sevo   9 years ago

        We do, too.

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          Indeed. But India has it 1000 times worse.

      2. Overt   9 years ago

        When I visited India, my driver kept telling me about how proud the Indians were about their socialized healthcare. Why, anyone- poor or middle class- could go to a government clinic to receive free healthcare*. At that point he dodged traffic into an old lot piled at least 6 feet high with bags of garbage. Two beautifully decorated cows were rooting through the garbage prior to their morning milking (that milk is then sold at market!). I asked why the government spends so much money on healthcare but doesn’t spend money on trash collection. He just laughed and explained that there ARE garbage boys paid to collect the garbage…and this lot was one of the places they go to dump the garbage.

        * – Later in my trip, my driver happily told me how he managed to get his daughter into a private clinic so she no longer has to use the socialized healthcare.

  31. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    ISIL wife charged in U.S. hostage death

    The wife of a now-deceased Islamic State leader was charged Monday for her alleged role in last year’s death of American aid worker Kayla Jean Mueller.

    Nisreen Assad Ibrahim Bahar, 25, the widow of former ISIL leader Abu Sayyaf, allegedly conspired to provide support to the terrorist group, often forcibly holding Mueller in the couple’s homes where she was subjected to repeated sexual abuse by ISIL chief Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. Mueller died in February 2015.

    Bahar, also known as Umm Sayyaf, “knew how Mueller was treated by Baghdadi when Mueller was held against her will in Sayyaf’s home,” federal prosecutors said.

    1. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

      There’s a special place in hell, etc.

      1. R C Dean   9 years ago

        I have a sick feeling that, if you gave some people the choice between putting Nisreen or Bernie up against the wall, they’d pick Bernie.

        1. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

          Why not both?

        2. Azathoth!!   9 years ago

          Of course you pick Bernie.

          He will do far more damage than some jihadette.

  32. Palin's Buttplug   9 years ago

    2 Bedrooms In Cabrini-Green’s New High Rise Start At $3,200 A Month

    http://chicagoist.com/2016/02/…..new_hi.php

    Affordable public housing!

    1. Tonio   9 years ago

      Donation?

  33. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Global stocks hit the rocks after Asian markets slump

    Many investors believed that signs of stress in the market for credit default swaps pointed to further declines ahead.

    “There is a high probability of a further correction in equity prices, led by banking and energy stocks. There could be a wave of defaults in the energy sector and that will damage the balance sheet of the banking sector,” said Lorne Baring, managing director of B Capital Wealth Management. Slowing global growth was clouding the outlook further, he added.

    “We are advising our investors to drastically reduce risk and build protection.”

  34. John   9 years ago

    http://pjmedia.com/instapundit/226156/

    I know the proper thing to do is have sympathy for someone with Matt Yglesiases mental challenges, but being pretty far up the Aspy scale is no excuse for being a dreadful person. If some right wing novelist dreamed him up as an example of the under 40 Progressive journalist, no one would believe it.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      I should be impressed that someone with Yglesias’s mental disabilities was able to overcome them and become a renowned writer on an (inexplicably respected) national publication, but the fact that so many people think he’s a genius is just too much for me.

      1. John   9 years ago

        The guy is a complete idiot. He cannot write a proper sentence let alone a well constructed paragraph, despite it being his job to do so. I am not sure what is worse that some people think he is a genius or that he graduated from Harvard. Harvard must have absolutely no standards for writing or critical thinking. If they did, how would that clown have ever graduated?

      2. SugarFree   9 years ago

        Matthew Yglesias is the white Ta-Nehisi Coates, a shallow thinker who everyone thinks is deep because he’s drowning in two feet of water.

        1. John   9 years ago

          As much as I dislike Coates, I would put him ahead of Yglesias. I think Coates realizes what he writes isn’t that profound and is just running a con game on his stupid white readers. I dispise Coates but I have to at some level respect is ability as a con man. Yglesias in contrast is running the same kind of con game but has no idea he is doing it. Yglesias really is this stupid and vile.

          1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

            Yeah, I think Coates is simply exploiting liberal white guilt. Yglesias, on the other hand, is just a stupid, stupid person who was told so many times that he is smart and special that he believes it.

    2. RG   9 years ago

      Funny, Europe’s seeing plenty of rising nationalism without having an Obama leading them.

    3. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      “Nazis had a lot of good ideas. There, I said it. Shame about the war and genocide.”

      Thanks Matt. There is the progressive movement in a nutshell.

    4. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Has anyone ever culled together a ‘best of’ where Sad Beard’s tweets are concerned?

      1. John   9 years ago

        It would be one hell of a greatest hits. Remember he is also the guy who said that he was glad Andrew Breitbart, a man who left a wife and several young children and was guilty of the single crime of disagreeing with Yglesias on politics, was dead. He is just a disgusting human being.

  35. Rich   9 years ago

    Looking like Trump may be correct about Cruz’s citizenship.

    1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

      Why would Canada’s laws have any bearing on whether the US government considered him a citizen? That doesn’t even make sense. I admit, though, that the bolding and italics are persuasive.

      1. blighted non millenial   9 years ago

        +1 has a strong resemblance to monkeys throwing shit on a wall to see what sticks

      2. blighted non millenial   9 years ago

        +1 has a strong resemblance to monkeys throwing shit on a wall to see what sticks

        1. blighted non millenial   9 years ago

          or maybe sqrlz

    2. Rhywun   9 years ago

      the land he were [sic] born in prohibited dual nationality at the time

      I knew lots of dual-nationals in Buffalo, born before 1977, who demonstrate otherwise. I don’t know all the nitty-gritty details but I have a feeling the writer doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

  36. John   9 years ago

    http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/fbi…..ail-server

    Another troll talking point bites the dust. Yes, the FBI is investigating Hillary.

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

      The FBI doesn’t investigate inanimate objects.

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      Guys check out the comments section. They have it organized into separate subgroups. So scanning down you’ll see the insides of different echo chambers and how they are reacting to the news. It’s really cool.

      Also, the hard core Hillary fans are in denial that anything happened still.

    3. Lee G   9 years ago

      I think it’s more accurate to say that the FBI is participating in a political battle over whether to indict.

      1. John   9 years ago

        Yes. If she were anyone but Hillary, she would be sitting in jail right now under indictment with her lawyer trying to work out a plea deal that gives her some chance of getting out of prison before she dies.

      2. R C Dean   9 years ago

        Yeah, this is the FBI just ratcheting up the pressure.

        This makes me think there is something to the “FBI is super-pissed” rumors.

  37. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

    The United States led the world in shark attacks in 2015.

    I’m not saying it was global warming, but it was global warming.

    1. R C Dean   9 years ago

      Please tell me someone has done a meme thingy with the Ancient Aliens guy on this.

      http://memegenerator.net/insta…..an=AllTime

      Yes!

  38. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Critics pounce on Lynch’s campaign donations

    Critics of the Obama administration say Attorney General Loretta Lynch should be disqualified from overseeing the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s email server because of the more than $10,000 she has given to Democrats in recent years.

    With Republicans already calling for a special prosecutor to monitor the probe, conservatives are pouncing on the past campaign contributions as evidence of bias.

    “The latest assertion from her allies that Loretta Lynch is not ‘political’ is totally untrue,” said David Bossie, the president of conservative advocacy organization Citizens United in a statement to The Hill. “In fact, she’s been a regular financial contributor to Democrat candidates, including to her current boss, Barack Obama.”

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      Former colleagues of Lynch’s described her to The Hill as a hard-nosed lawyer who rarely discussed politics in her previous jobs.

      “And I know this because I *too* am a hard-nosed lawyer who rarely discusses politics.”

    2. Illocust   9 years ago

      Eeesh, I can’t imagine having that kind of money to drop on political campaigns. Must be nice.

      Also, who would go into politics and let their name stay ‘Lynch’ that seems like a perfect candidate for a name change.

    3. R C Dean   9 years ago

      It goes deeper than that, of course. She basically owes her federal career to the Clintons and the Dems.

  39. Rich   9 years ago

    After the attacks in Paris and New Year’s security scares, Germans have been snapping up self-defense equipment like stun guns ? to the delight of a Czech manufacturer who corners the market.

    See, broken windows *do* stimulate the economy!

  40. John   9 years ago

    http://www.newsbusters.org/blo…..-operative

    I know Fatso has his issues, but he does occasionally show some balls. He called George Stephanopoulos “a former Dem operative”.

    1. CampingInYourPark   9 years ago

      How does it “show some balls” to state something that’s common knowledge?

      1. John   9 years ago

        In a sane world, it wouldn’t. We do not, however, live in a sane world. In our world everyone is supposed to sit around and pretend a hack like Stephanopoulos is a actual journalist. In the entire time he has been doing hack interviews of Republicans, not once until now has any Republican had the balls to state the obvious.

        1. Free Society   9 years ago

          I revile the guy specifically for the GOP debate he moderated, where the only questions he asked were ones designed to make the Republicans spar with each other. Then after the debate he hit the airwaves bemoaning that the GOP candidates were too busy fighting each other to focus on real issues that people care about. He’s a total fucking hack.

    2. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

      Former?

      1. John   9 years ago

        Yeah, there is that.

    3. Suthenboy   9 years ago

      Former?

    4. WTF   9 years ago

      Nothing “former” about it.

  41. Ivan Pike   9 years ago

    Scientists put the animal equivalent of a Fitbit on polar bears.

    http://www.adn.com/article/201…..ey-learned

    Data from the seven adult female bears tracked in the springs of 2014 and 2015 showed they spent, on average, about 70 percent of daylight hours resting, the U.S. Geological Survey-led research has found. They spent only about 15 percent of their time walking, the research found. The rest of the time was divided among swimming, grooming, eating, interacting with males and other activities.

    1. John   9 years ago

      So they spend 85% of their time eating, screwing, sleeping and frolicking. It is apparently good to be a polar bear.

      1. Illocust   9 years ago

        I bet there males like it when they are obese too. Best life ever.

      2. Rich   9 years ago

        The downside is that the other 15% is agonized worrying about climate change.

      3. commodious spittoon   9 years ago

        It’s 80% swimming from ice floe to disappearing ice floe.

      4. Always a Carl, Never a Clyde   9 years ago

        No Netflix tho

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      One of my early memories of a polar bear was when the news reported one rocking an empty school bus in Northern Manitoba. Back and forth it pushed the bus. It was quite the spectacle.

      1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

        “Last time I did this, all sorts of chewy treats fell out!”

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

          Look at Swissy being all macabre.

          /playfully narrows gaze.

          1. Swiss Servator   9 years ago

            More like plagiarizing Gary Larson in some way or another.

            1. Homple   9 years ago

              Not plagiarism, the quote marks let us Larson fans know it was an allusion.

              Good one.

      2. Citizen X   9 years ago

        Polar bears are one of the few predatory animals that intentionally hunt humans. I, for one, do NOT welcome the rise of the temperate-adapted polargrizz.

        1. John   9 years ago

          I worked with a woman who had visited Barrow, Alaska during bear season. They told her at the airport to never go out alone into the streets, because the bears will stalk, kill and eat any person they saw walking alone. You are nothing but a strange looking seal to them.

          1. BearOdinson   9 years ago

            But in Barrow I think I would worry more about the vampires than the bears.

        2. R C Dean   9 years ago

          Polar Bears are basically a grizzly variant, is my understanding.

          Grizzlies are well known for being extremely aggressive towards people.

          1. Ivan Pike   9 years ago

            Polar Bears are basically a grizzly variant, is my understanding.

            Polar Bears split from Brown Bears about 500,000 years ago, last research I read.

            http://www.sciencedirect.com/s…..7414004887

            Grizzlies are well known for being extremely aggressive towards people.

            Much more so that Polar Bears.

            1. Ivan Pike   9 years ago

              *than*

            2. R C Dean   9 years ago

              C’mon, man. This is H & R. Facts have no place here.

  42. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    The Anxiety Of Being Marco Rubio

    To rivals, Rubio’s reflexive retreat to the same snippet of well-rehearsed rhetoric ? over and over, and over, and over again ? was proof of the freshman senator’s status as a lightweight. To supporters, the wobbly display was a forgivable fluke, one bad moment blown wildly out of proportion by a bloodthirsty press corps.

    But to those who have known him longest, Rubio’s flustered performance Saturday night fit perfectly with an all-too-familiar strain of his personality, one that his handlers and image-makers have labored for years to keep out of public view. Though generally seen as cool-headed and quick on his feet, Rubio is known to friends, allies, and advisers for a kind of incurable anxiousness ? and an occasional propensity to panic in moments of crisis, both real and imagined.

    This jittery restlessness has manifested itself throughout Rubio’s life, from high school football games in Miami to high-profile policy fights in Washington ? and in some ways, it’s been the driving force in his rapid political rise.

    1. Rich   9 years ago

      “Do we really want ‘Twitchy’s’ finger on the nuclear button?”

      1. Just a thought not a sermon   9 years ago

        Seriously. If this is true, this is not a person I want making decisions in the White House.

        “Rubio is known to friends, allies, and advisers for a kind of incurable anxiousness ? and an occasional propensity to panic in moments of crisis,”

        If this is true, and they still support him in his presidential bid, aren’t they essentially supporting someone they know is unfit for the job?

        1. Lee G   9 years ago

          aren’t they essentially supporting someone they know is unfit for the job?

          He’s an empty suit and the Establishment prefers it that way.

        2. John   9 years ago

          “Rubio is known to friends, allies, and advisers for a kind of incurable anxiousness ? and an occasional propensity to panic in moments of crisis,”

          If this is true, why does he want the job of President?

          1. WTF   9 years ago

            Status, power, wealth? Just guessing.

            1. John   9 years ago

              Of course. It just shows how nakedly ambitious these people are.

    2. R C Dean   9 years ago

      If true, he’s dead meat as the nominee. The pressure is unimaginable, and he will crack in public.

    3. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      I’m sure he’ll make someone a wonderful vice president.

      Seriously, doesn’t this guy just scream “Quayle” or “Gore” to you?

  43. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Remember Nena from 99 Luftballoons?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-Q6lKQwzcY

    1. Lee G   9 years ago

      I tried to forget

    2. John   9 years ago

      Wow. She has aged well. I wonder if she shaves her pits now.

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        I hope not.

        1. John   9 years ago

          She was super cute back when she had her hit in the US. She did, however, have some pit hair going on, which can be a bit jarring to the American eye.

        2. John   9 years ago

          She is in her 50s now. She definitely punches above her weight class.

          Google her images.

          1. Elspeth Flashman   9 years ago

            Agreed.

    3. Rhywun   9 years ago

      Can’t view at work but:

      She had a lot of hits in Germany of course, and recently put out an album “re-imagining” them.

      It’s really quite good.

  44. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    Triumph the Insult Dog Visits College to Invade Students’ Safe Spaces

    Triumph the Insult DogAs part of Hulu’s Triumph’s Election Special 2016, Triumph the Insult Dog visited the University of New Hampshire to quiz a group of students from the liberal arts school about microaggressions and political correctness.

    Triumph chose the school after it issued a “bias-free language guide” which told students to avoid words like “American,” “homosexual,” “illegal alien,” and “Caucasian,” declaring those terms “problematic.”

    Needless to say, the irascible puppet was veeeeery problematic. “What do you identify as, besides pretentious?” he asked one male student. After a female student explained what a “trigger warning” was, he began to speak about her in a very sexual manner, clearly angering her.

    One female student was quizzed on what “mansplaining” meant. But after she was done explaining, Triumph went to a male student, saying he could probably explain it better.

    To close the video out, Triumph brought in a flamboyantly gay African-American man into the room. Once the man was gone, he asked the students to describe him and brought in a sketch artist. Predictably, the New Hampshire students were extremely reluctant to bring up his sexuality or race.

    1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

      Smigel is great.

    2. Drake   9 years ago

      The best thing I’ve seen in a while. UNH actually was my safety school.

    3. John   9 years ago

      Speaking of safe spaces, National Review did a run down of the leftist butt hurt on twitter about the Super Bowl commercials. Read it and weep for America.

      http://www.nationalreview.com/…..rs-twitter

      Some of the highlights include:

      Showing William Defoe in drag is “transphobic” whatever the fuck that means.
      Showing douchy white guys in a Prius is an expression of “white privilige” since the commercial didn’t end with them being slaughtered by the cops.

      And NARAL just dropped the mask and revealed itself as a pro genocide organization. They are not pro choice, they just hate people and children in particular.

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        All British humor is transphobic now?

        1. John   9 years ago

          I guess so. Like everything, what the Progs call “equal rights” is just an excuse to oppress everyone. The left’s new obsession with trannys is no different that its older obsession with gay rights. The point is to use the cause as a justification to control everyone. The point is not to protect the rights of transvestites, it is to use that cause as a justification to make sure no one ever is allowed to say anything the Progs don’t like.

      2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        Also, if the Prius commercial had shown black men robbing a bank rather than white, it would have been accused of TEH RACEISM! You really can’t win with these idiots.

        1. John   9 years ago

          No you can’t. And yeah, a commercial showing anyone but a white male as a thief or a villain is not allowed. There was another commercial for some mortgage company where the person is walking around and the camera focuses on passers by saying whether they are “great”, meaning they used the mortgage company or not. Every person deemed “great” was either a woman or not white. Every person deemed “not great” was a white male.

        2. thrakkorzog   9 years ago

          The funny thing is that 3/4 of the Prius crew were Sobotkas, not exactly a family known for getting away with crimes.

      3. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

        “And NARAL just dropped the mask and revealed itself as a pro genocide organization. They are not pro choice, they just hate people and children in particular.”

        So the N must stand for Nikki…

    4. straffinrun   9 years ago

      Can you vagsplain that? Frat boys should be called rapist americans.
      You can see they were genuinely upset. Tasty.

    5. Lee G   9 years ago

      Why is “Caucasian” problematic? This is a new one.

      1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

        Like, literally, like, OMG.

      2. Drake   9 years ago

        The people, the word, or the mountains?

      3. John   9 years ago

        Honestly, how could it be problematic unless their unstated goal is to wipe the white race off the face of the earth? The word is just descriptive. Isn’t saying that the word is “problematic”, just an indirect way of saying white people’s existence is “problematic”? And how would a person ever solve the problem of their mere existence being problematic other than ceasing to exist?

        These people are too stupid to fully understand what they are doing but they are going down a very dark road.

  45. Citizen X   9 years ago

    Ted Cruz unable to answer question about his favorite band, because he’s a human robot

    1. John   9 years ago

      I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

    2. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

      That was such a perfect Ted Cruz moment.

      1. John   9 years ago

        After 8 years of Obama, I find it refreshing. It would be great to have a President who didn’t offer his opinion on everything or insert himself into every event the way Obama does. I think it is a pretty good bet a President Ted Cruz wouldn’t be all over ESPN filling out his NCAA bracket or appearing on the Super Bowl pregame show. God, that would be nice.

        1. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

          Better saying what he said than being like Obama and pretend to listen to Kendrick Lamar.

          1. John   9 years ago

            I agree. And maybe the guy just isn’t that into music. Not everyone is.

            1. Rhywun   9 years ago

              I dated someone like that. It confused the hell out of me. It’s like not being into food or something.

              1. Zeb   9 years ago

                It is weird, but such people do exist. Some are just tone deaf, so they can’t really get it. But some people just aren’t interested. Music is background noise and that’s really it.

    3. Drake   9 years ago

      Why would I care about his favorite band?

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

        Apparently, liking the correct music is somehow related to the faithful execution of the laws of the United States and being commander-in-chief of the armed forces. Also, being the kind of person you’d want to have a beer with.

    4. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

      Who cares? Like it matters. Or are they looking for a cue that somehow knowing who your fave band is is a sign you’re worth something? Obama has all the answers to fluff questions has it translated into enlightened governance?

    5. Homple   9 years ago

      What sort of gink expects everyone to have a favorite band?

    6. Roger the Shrubber   9 years ago

      He laughed. Either at the question or the person asking it.

      1. Homple   9 years ago

        Al Gore was talking to Courtney Love and said he liked Curt Cobain’s songs.

        She said, “Oh yeah, name one”

        He couldn’t.

        1. Drake   9 years ago

          The one where he screams a lot?

    7. R C Dean   9 years ago

      Too bad he didn’t say:

      “That’s a stupid question. Who cares, really? I’m not running for the office of America’s Dad or Bae. I’m running for President. Can you think of any questions that are relevant to that?”

      1. GILMORE?   9 years ago

        ” Can you think of any questions that are relevant to that?”

        Headline: Ted Cruz Demonstrates Ableist Contempt for Intellectually-Challenged Millenials

  46. thomasandy835   9 years ago

    up to I looked at the draft which was of $7319 , I be certain …that…my neighbour was like they say realie receiving money part time at there labtop. . there moms best frend started doing this less than and just paid the mortgage on their apartment and bought a gorgeous Lexus LS400 . site here……..

    Click This Link inYour Browser….

    ? ? ? ? http://www.Wage90.com

  47. andythomas12501   9 years ago

    Up to I looked at the draft which was of $7319 , I be certain …that…my neighbour was like they say realie receiving money part time at there labtop. . there moms best frend started doing this less than and just paid the mortgage on their apartment and bought a gorgeous Lexus LS400 . site here……..

    Click This Link inYour Browser….

    ???? ? ? ? http://www.Wage90.com

  48. lukashik   8 years ago

    The technology is so developed that we can watch videos, live streaming, TV serials and any of our missed programs within our mobiles and PCs. Showbox
    All we need is a mobile or PC with a very good internet connection. There are many applications by which we can enjoy videos, our missed programs, live streaming etc.

  49. John   9 years ago

    For a track star she has got some serious curves going on. Damn.

  50. Rich   9 years ago

    The music is atrocious

    Seconded.

  51. Lord Humungus   9 years ago

    something something bunk is where I will be residing

  52. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Worldstar! Worldstar!

  53. Atanarjuat   9 years ago

    Dayum.

  54. Aloysious   9 years ago

    wOw.

  55. WTF   9 years ago

    Dat ass!

  56. John   9 years ago

    She is a world class athlete. She gets paid to work out. Warty has a day job. I would bet on her being able to make Warty, or about anyone else who doesn’t do it for a living, sob like a little girl in the gym.

  57. Aloysious   9 years ago

    In Church

  58. Certified Public Asshat   9 years ago

    Music?

  59. Zeb   9 years ago

    There is only so long you can usefully work out in a day. I bet there are plenty of committed amateurs who are in the same kind of physical condition. Though very few could run hurdles like her.

  60. John   9 years ago

    I was in the Army for nine years. I have known a ton of people in unbelievable physical condition. That being said, there is a difference between amateurs and professionals. It is not only a question of time, its also a question of access to diet and supplements and advanced training. Someone like her is just in a different league.

  61. Zeb   9 years ago

    And world class professional athletes also have excellent genetics on their side, in addition to the things you list.

  62. John   9 years ago

    That too Zeb. She is likely to have a freakishly efficient and large cardio system. My roommate my freshman year in college had been a fairly serious amateur swimmer in high school and knew Janet Evens, who was owning the distance events in the Olympics at the time. He described her has one of the technically worst swimmers he had ever seen. Everyone in the swimming world knew this and also knew it didn’t matter because Evens was such a genetic aerobic freak, even at that level, she didn’t need technique.

  63. Crusty Juggler   9 years ago

    Seriously. He should have had a prepared answer for this inevitable question anyway, but I like your suggestion. “Tegan and Sara.”

  64. John   9 years ago

    That or “Lou Reed”.

  65. Citizen X   9 years ago

    If he’d said something about Propagandhi he’d rise several steps in my estimation.

  66. Citizen X   9 years ago

    If he’s anything like the Canadian brothers i used to work for, he stopped listening to music entirely once the Tragically Hip broke up.

  67. John   9 years ago

    Cruz is a child of the 80s, think something like Joy Division would have been a good answer, though probably too clever by half.

  68. John   9 years ago

    I forgot he is Canadian. Doesn’t being Canadian require him to answer Bare Naked Ladies, Rush, or Celine Dion?

  69. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

    Ah man, are The Hip huge up here.

    I began listening to them in 86 or 87 and were a sensation across Canadian campuses.

  70. Drake   9 years ago

    Triumph! Lay it on the Line baby!

  71. Derp-o-Matic 5000   9 years ago

    Avril Lavigne?

  72. Zeb   9 years ago

    Anne Murray. Obviously.

  73. Rhywun   9 years ago

    I would vote for him just for that.

  74. Rhywun   9 years ago

    I listened to mostly CFNY in those years but I can’t remember a single song of theirs.

  75. R C Dean   9 years ago

    a sensation across Canadian campuses.

    I’m sorry, but this just makes me chuckle.

  76. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

    Blow at high dough? New Orleans is sinking?

  77. Rhywun   9 years ago

    Nope. But I think I can explain it: I don’t like it.

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