Cruz vs. Trump, Chipotle Apocalypse, Hillary's Wardrobe: P.M. Links

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  Todd Kranin

  Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are going into full war mode.

• Chipotle will close all stores everywhere for one day on February 8th.
• Fox is going to revive Prison Break and 24—but without Jack Bauer, which is honestly the stupidest idea anyone has ever had.
• From Slate: "Hillary Clinton Isn't a Lesbian, But She Dresses Like One."
• Sean Penn thought his El Chapo article would convince people of the futility of the War on Drugs.
• Colleges are banning hoverboards, because of course they are.

New at Reason.com:

Liberals Are Simple-Minded: …and often more dogmatic than conservatives, according to a new study. By Ronald Bailey

Billions and Baskets Excel at Wildly Divergent Story Concepts: Rich Wall Street ambition vs. desperately, comically sad clown. By Glenn Garvin

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Late. Disrespecting MLK.

[Anomalous]

You know who else disrespected MLK?

[Unicorn Abattoir]

Al, Jesse, and all the hack activists that came after him?

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

James Earl Ray?

[Libertarian]

Hitler? No, it couldn't be Hitler, he was gone before MLK hit the scene. Was it Hitler?

[Notorious UGCC]

"No, it couldn't be Hitler, he was gone before MLK hit the scene."

Don't be naive, you're not one of those "death-ers" who thinks Hitler died in a bunker in 1945, are you?

Where's his death certificate?

/sarc

[SQRLSY One]

Hitler is alive as we speak! ... He's wearing a Trump mask... The Jews (as scapegoats) have been replaced by illegal humans, is all...

[gaoxiaen]

Bruno Ganz?

[In League with the Dark Ones]

Arizona?

[Agammamon]

HE'S JUST A BABY!

[Pat (PM)]

Malcolm X?

[Trigger Warning]

Barack Obama?

[BigT]

J Edgar Hoover?

[DEG]

It looks like Rufus is late too, he hasn't greeted us yet.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Well. I mean I HAVE A LIFE.

I think.

[DEG]

You think? I suggest more hookers and blow.

[Agammamon]

He was working an extra shift in the syrup mine.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

Mingia, Robby.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Colleges are banning hoverboards, because of course they are.

Marty McFly is rolling over in his grave.

[commodious spittoon]

Well, trembling.

[PBR Streetgang]

**Shakes head disapprovingly**

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

You! I like you. I'll kill you last.

[gimmeasammich]

+1 Sully

[What's that smell?]

I laughed full-throated

[Rhywun]

I am all for policies which result in fewer people around me that I want to punch in the face.

[This Machine]

Aha! I knew it, punchi-pals, not punchi-ples with you fake libertarians!

[Ted S.]

The why ate you living in NYC?

[Rhywun]

Garden-variety assholes I can deal with. Hipsters with toys - not so much.

[gaoxiaen]

They're called punch-buddies.

[In League with the Dark Ones]

I'm not sure Marty McFly went to college?

[Zeb]

Are they banning them or are they not allowing people to use them on pedestrian walkways?

[Zeb]

Ah I see they are banning them. I forgot about the fire thing for a minute.

Colleges ban all kinds of things because of fire risk. I got fined for a coffee maker once.

[Rhywun]

My RA was too stoned all the time to bother checking us for hot pots and coffee makers.

[Zeb]

My RA's didn't do anything as far as I could tell, but there were occasional fire safety inspections.

[gaoxiaen]

Kind of like shore patrol duty in (pre-AIDS) Olongapo.

[gaoxiaen]

Okay, not nearly as good, but still an enjoyable job.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are going into full war mode.

Two majestic stags vying to mount the country.

[Clich? Bandit]

Khal Drogo's Son?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You're mixing sigils. NO SPOILERS.

[Clich? Bandit]

Wait, does Hillary have dragons?

[bacon-magic]

In her vajayjay

[Ska]

I think it was a pair of nagas.

I have no idea what the plural of naga is.

[R C Dean]

Naga, please.

[Mickey Rat]

I thought she would be a kraken.

[Los Doyers]

BOUT DAMN TIME. I can't sit on my ass forever.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's interesting that you always find a way to bring your ass into the conversation.

[Los Doyers]

Shake whatcho mamma gave you, as the song goes.

[Tonio]

...especially with all the homos lurking around here.

[Los Doyers]

Get in line. Jesse already has dibs on my ass and eventual murder.

[jesse.in.mb]

Just your eventual murder.

[Los Doyers]

Sorry, *rum-drunk* Jesse has dibs on the first one.

[jesse.in.mb]

Better.

[gaoxiaen]

In that particular order?

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Get in line. Jesse already has dibs on my ass"

Yeah, Jesse, I'd just like to reiterate how sorry I am for getting a "gay sex" vibe in the stuff you and Los Doyers say to each other. Clearly this is purely platonic.

[jesse.in.mb]

Don't even worry about it. People read homosexuality into classic male palling around ALL the time. Just look at Abe Lincoln and Joshua Speed, Buchanan and King, or all the male characters of LOTR with each other.

[Just say Nikki]

Don't forget Melville and Hawthorne!

[Irish ?s ESB]

Nicole, people keep thinking I am gay just because once in a while I have sex with a man. It's so weird and judgmental.

[gaoxiaen]

I might be wrong, but I think there was talk about Bulgarians and buggery in Candide.

[Los Doyers]

Dwarven women look very similar to dwarven men! It wasn't gay!!

[jesse.in.mb]

God, that's almost exactly what you said when you walked out of the lady-boy's apartment.

[Los Doyers]

That's different. I had already paid AND our balls didn't touch.

[Always a Carl, Never a Clyde]

She had a feminine dick.

[DenverJ]

You can't tell me those hobbits weren't flaming so hard they could make glass glow.

[jesse.in.mb]

You can't tell me those hobbits weren't flaming so hard they could make glass glow.

Consider that stolen, sir.

[DenverJ]

Not stolen, Jesse, "liberated for the cause".

[Agammamon]

. . . or all the male characters of LOTR with each other.

Its not gay when its with an elf.

But its extra gay when its with a dwarf - so I guess it all evens out.

[cavalier973]

The correct phrase is: "It ain't gay if it's fey."

[Clich? Bandit]

HEY, that lizard guy isn't a homo, you can't leave him out his people rule the world.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

You talk with that ass?

[Los Doyers]

My middle name is P?tomane.

[Illocust]

The XX at Slate feminist have just discovered that equality laws are being applied to both men and *gasp* women. Bitching ensues, and arguments for separate but equal abound in the comments.

I'm back home, so I'm wading into argue with them. Any bets on how long it takes them to declare I must be a man masquerading as a woman?

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_.....ation.html

[Horatio]

If you're not back in an hour, should Nikki go in after you?

[gaoxiaen]

Just don't pull any dikes' underarm hair. My buddy got his ass kicked by a whole bar full of women for that.

[DEG]

30 seconds?

[Illocust]

Looks like it's taking longer than normal. We apparently have to go down the "Cool Girl" track first.

[DEG]

"Cool Girl" track?

[Illocust]

"Cool Girl" was a concept some feminist came up with a while back to explain all these women who weren't constantly being oppressed and got along just fine with men. The claim is that the "Cool Girl" doesn't experience the discrimination that "All" women experience because she is essentially a gender traitor. She pretends to like and agree with men so that they will accept her. Any disagreement by a woman with the feminist narrative is just a "Cool Girl" trying to solidify her position among men by attacking other women.

Yes, they are arguing that is it impossible for a woman to like the same things as men. Glad you noticed that bit of sexism too.

[DEG]

Fuck.

I've been trying to come up with some deeper commentary on the "Cool Girl" stupidity, but all I can manage is "Fuck".

[Illocust]

Yeah, shit like this is why I'm not merely not a feminist but actively anti-feminist. Feminist tend to be overtly hostile to me in a way no other group is, and I am including the generic progressive in that statement. Fundamentalist Christian show me more respect as an individual.

[Pat (PM)]

Well, there's your mistake. Thinking you're an individual.

[DEG]

I saw an interview with Stossel when he said that he's received death threats from folks on the left, but all of his encounters with the right have been polite despite disagreeing with the right.

[Always a Carl, Never a Clyde]

Is the 'Cool Girl' the new 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl'?

See also: "chill girl"

Gender norms are OK when it's us handing them down!

[BigT]

Cool Girl: feminism::Uncle Tom:#Blacklivesmatter

[Ted S.]

Wait a second: you're a woman?

[Illocust]

A disabled female engineer to be exact. It's a fun one to pull out in debates where people try to claim I just don't understand what it's like.

[Los Doyers]

Check your parking privilege.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

+1 George's father car and Kramer.

[Pat (PM)]

Sons of bitches!

[OneOut]

You engineer females ?

Overall i would say you have done a good job. most women are quite pleasing to the eye.

If you could do something with those hormones though you would have the eternal well wishes of men the world over.

[Heroic Mulatto]

most women are quite pleasing to the eye.

I may not have the ultra-discriminating tastes of, say, Playa, but, dude, most?

[Los Doyers]

Wide net and all

[Zeb]

Well, at some point in their lives.

[gaoxiaen]

You must live in Belo Horizonte if you say that.

[Tonio]

Good luck, Illy.

[jesse.in.mb]

Fuck you, Doyers, I TOLD you they'd be Soave links.

[Los Doyers]

Rico's playing us both! Don't let him divide ass and conquer.

[commodious spittoon]

Go on...

[Irish ?s ESB]

Lovers' quarrel?

[Fist of Etiquette]

One of them is out of the others league. You'll have to figure out which for yourself.

[Los Doyers]

I, for one, welcome our cyborg sperm overlords.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...but without Jack Bauer, which is honestly the stupidest idea anyone has ever had.

I can't argue with this. Maybe they'll bring back Chase.

[PBR Streetgang]

Chase wishes he could clap for this idea.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, my. I forgot about that. Well, at least Mason is available.

[Los Doyers]

Green is not a nice color on you, Mr. Fist.

[Fist of Etiquette]

EVERY COLOR IS A NICE COLOR ON ME. EVEN THE NEON ONES.

[Los Doyers]

Man, I'm shooting blanks today. This was in response to the above comment about leagues.

[Pan Zagloba]

I'll need Gilmore's judgement on that.

[JW]

What? No love for Switch?

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Hillary Clinton Isn't a Lesbian, But She Dresses Like One."

Me-fucking-ow.

[Suthenboy]

Back in the day my father had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary smoked the cigar".

My brother lived in Hope, Ar at the time. You can imagine the hilarity that ensued each time my father went to visit.

[thrakkorzog]

You know, despite of all the jokes about Hillary being a lesbian, her pantsuits have always screamed more Chairman Mao than lesbian. I've known plenty of lesbians over the years, and none of them dressed like Hillary.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

Very true, some of the lesbians I know are not that hot, but they don't dress in tents.

[rts]

Rifles converted to automatic fire an increasing risk, RCMP internal report warns

The number of military-style firearms that can be temporarily jury-rigged to become automatic weapons has increased "dramatically" in Canada over the last decade ? and so has the public-safety risk.

That's the stark conclusion of an internal RCMP laboratory report on improvised methods for upgrading semi-automatic weapons, and for illegally altering magazine clips to allow for rapid continuous fire.

But...

Upgrading any weapon to fully automatic status is clearly prohibited by Section 102(1) of the Criminal Code, with prison terms of up to 10 years. But Smith's report raises questions about the current effectiveness of 20-year-old Criminal Code regulations as they apply to newer weapons shown in lab tests to be "amenable to the improvised full automatic fire technique."

It's already illegal, but we're going to scare-monger to get those bans on some semi-autos we just plain don't like.

[Agammamon]

'Temporarily jury-rigged' and 'magazine clips'.

Oh and ''altering magazine(s) . . . to allow for rapid continuous fire'.

Yet another reporter who has no idea what he's talking about, but will cash his paycheck for rehashing a government press release.

[gaoxiaen]

Here's a long magazine. A fucking horseshoe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8dc7vZjx8E

[Zeb]

I had an SKS once spontaneously jury rig itself into a full auto. One that you couldn't stop firing. That was interesting.

[Mock-star]

keep your firing pin channel clean!

[CatoTheChipper]

That could cause you serious and very expensive legal problems.

Google U.S. v. John Glover or U.S. v. Albert Kwan.

[Los Doyers]

Sean Penn thought his El Chapo article would convince people of the futility of the War on Drugs.

Please. That's what Sicario is for.

[Los Doyers]

And I fail at quoting.

[Jerryskids]

Wow. Such an outre opinion - no wonder he went to a bleeding-edge publication like Rolling Stone to get the message out to all the hep cats.

[Clich? Bandit]

just watched it. crazy. Benitio did fantastic though. And I liked when he met the boss while he was eating dinner...what a bunch of cruel people. Ohh and the naivety of the chick was almost sickening.

[Los Doyers]

Definitely one of the best movies of 2015. Although Juarez isn't that bad anymore*, but a gripping movie nonetheless.

*Me being part Mexican means I can speak with unchallenged authority on anything Mexican.

[commodious spittoon]

Yeah, I read some glowing reviews for Blunt and her portrayal of a strong female lead who stands shoulder-to-shoulder with the men, and while I enjoyed her performance, that's not at all the impression I got from her role. To my mind she was the normal-guy ingenue who's supposed to play foil for the outrageous, cynical, and violent killers around her. She was supposed to help reveal how desperate and terrible the WoD is, not revel in it. And that's exactly what she does.

[Los Doyers]

Medellin: "Get out of the car." Blunt: *ignores him and moves to the middle seat*

...wut?

[commodious spittoon]

Is this the scene in the traffic jam? Because I kinda respect not wanting to get involved.

[Los Doyers]

Yeah, the border scene, where Brolin specifically told her to keep close and do everything he (Medellin) says if you want in on the mission/stay alive. It just seemed like, while she was trying to not get involved, she made herself even more of a sitting duck, and then almost pays for it. That was a great scene though.

[commodious spittoon]

It was fantastic. I didn't begrudge her for having refused, the whole thing from her perspective would have seemed like an international-incident-triggering-cockup. And when she nearly pays for it I rolled my eyes, but in retrospect I realize it's just setting up her vulnerability.

[Los Doyers]

Yeah, they did an excellent job of setting her up as wayyyyyy out of her depth in almost every op.

[Cytotoxic]

Great scene.

[Cytotoxic]

I wanted to like that movie a lot more than I did but the plot worked against it. The 'there's a hidden plan' thing was too hopeful. And the 'double-agent' thing was very obvious.

[Los Doyers]

And today the sun will set in the west.

[Suthenboy]

Naivety of the chick who is ashamed to have become an american citizen because of the 2nd Amendment?

Oh, that chick. The one that makes a living waving guns around on camera.

[Los Doyers]

A lady's gotta eat!

[But Enough About Me]

Eat *this* !

[Medical Physics Guy]

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are going into full war mode.

Pretty disappointing from Cruz. I thought he was arguing for a lighter international footprint just a few weeks ago.

Honestly, if there's not a dime's worth of difference between Cruz and Donald, might as well vote for Donald. I hate all that Cruz religious-fundamentalist crap. At least Trump is entertainment.

[Cytotoxic]

Remember, you can't trust Reason to give an honest take on any candidate that isn't full peace-nazi.

[lafe.long]

Mein Kampf: Adolf Hitler's Book Sells Out in Less Than a Week, German Reports Say

A new annotated version of the book was released in Germany on Jan. 8. Reports said 4,000 copies of the 2,000-page book sold out in less than a week.

[This Machine]

2,000 pages? That's the size of like, one of those books you just keep on the coffee table, not to read, just to impress people and stuff. Ugh.

[In League with the Dark Ones]

There are several versions of Mein Kampf.

The first edition was long and dull and never sold well.

The second edition was trimmed down to under 1000 pages and Hitler hit upon the idea of giving everyone a copy when they married (at tax expense, of course!). That's how Hitler made his fortune.

[DK]

You know what else was like 2,000 pages?

[PBR Streetgang]

Larry Craig probably liked 2,000 pages.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Mark Foley?

[Swiss Servator]

Gerry Studds' little black book?

[shortviking]

Section 1 of the tax code?

[DJF]

4,000 copies is not a lot for a country with 80 million people.

Sounds like they published only a few copies so they could generate a headline about the book being sold out.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

It only takes ONE to believe!

'You know, with the right attitude and strategy, I think I can complete what Hitler started....'

[Irish ?s ESB]

So 0.005% of Germany bought Mein Kampf. Clearly we're on the verge of a return to Nazism.

[Nativist, Racist & Xenophobe]

I didn't realize that many Germans suffered from insomnia.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

There we go.

Are the 'Peans remotely capable of finding BALANCE?

One extreme to the next. One minute it's fucking Doug Henning all over the place the next they go all fucking Vlad the Impaler.

[Medical Physics Guy]

In my life's history I have had ONE co worker whom I knew leaned right. And everyone knew it. So he bought a hardcover copy of Mein Kampf and read it at work to troll everybody.

[Suthenboy]

He trolled socialists by reading the manifesto of a socialist?

*scratches head*

[gaoxiaen]

That must be as exciting as the Communist Manifesto, required reading for my History of Communism (before the Soviet Union's collapse) class in college. That being said, the class was interesting and tied right in with another class that I took, History of WWII. Mein Kampf was not required reading.

[Always a Carl, Never a Clyde]

Philippine Supreme Court Approves Return of U.S. Troops

[DJF]

DJF disapproves of US troops in Philippines.

[Swiss Servator]

You are overruled by every whore in Manilla...

[Hyperbolical (wadair)]

And Subic Bay...and Angela City--oh wait, there was this volcano...

[Hyperbolical (wadair)]

Interesting what an ascendant China can do to the Filipino psyche.

[gaoxiaen]

I loved shore patrol there. It was a blast when Marcos was in power. Now the Catholic Church runs the place.

[rts]

Vancouver Police want to talk to "Middle-Eastern men" taking pictures at Pacific Centre Mall

Chief Adam Palmer said the activities of the "Middle-Eastern looking" men raised the suspicions of security at Pacific Centre Mall on Tuesday night, and police have been trying to find them since that time.

"These people have not committed a crime. There's been no offence committed. These people are not arrestable. We just want to talk to them," Palmer said.

[Tonio]

Were they Israelis?

[Libertarian]

"not arrestable"

How can I get on that list?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Fox is going to revive Prison Break...

Spoiler alert on the fate of the main character... He dead. And on a The Flash spinoff. And played by a gay, I think.

[Private Chipperbot]

And a nominee for dumbest character name on The Flash as well.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Blame DC Comics. Their names are generally inferior to the ones Marvel writers come up with, in my opinion.

[Adans smith]

More of a Arrow guy myself,Emily,oh ,Emily

[Fist of Etiquette]

YOU HAVE TO WATCH BOTH, THEY'RE LINKED.

[Greg Loves His Woodchipper]

One of these weeks I am going to get through a full episode of The Flash without making a joke about Joe West opening up a restaurant in Santa Fe

[thrakkorzog]

I think his chaaracter is moving on to Legends of Tomorrow.

[rts]

Cologne Sex-Attack Spree Sparks 'Huge Spike' in Weapons Sales

A spate of Hundreds of sex assaults allegedly committed mostly by North African men on New Year's Eve in Cologne has sparked an "explosion in sales" of pepper spray and non-lethal guns, German officials and an industry chief said.

In addition to defensive sprays, Cologne police said it had already received more than 300 applications from adults wanting to carry imitation handguns and so-called gas pistols.

This was compared to 408 licenses for these weapons issued during all of 2015, police spokeswoman Daniela Lindemann said.

[PBR Streetgang]

"Defensive spray" = Axe?

[Los Doyers]

Commercials don't lie.

[OneOut]

A permit is needed to carry a fake gun ?

Not only is carrying a fake gun stupid as it may get you shot, requireing a permit for a TOY gun is more stupider.

[Ted S.]

Sounds like they need the US 2A.

[rts]

Everyone needs the US 2A.

[DEG]

I agree. I think that would solve many problems.

[Pat (PM)]

Fuck yeah!

[Tonio]

Imitation handguns. That's just lame. Seriously. Because the bad guys know that it's almost impossible to get a permit for the real thing, so will treat every gun as a fake.

[commodious spittoon]

I don't know, it seems plausible. Granted, the frog's piece was real, but his would-be assailant can't have known that. And I'd prefer inspiring even a modicum of doubt rather than being totally disarmed.

[Pat (PM)]

Have we learned nothing from Guy Ritchie films?

[commodious spittoon]

Been a few years. Might be due for a reprise.

[Ted S.]

Don't let the cops see those imitation handguns.

[PapayaSF]

Gosh, who could ever have known that letting in hundreds of thousands of sexually-frustrated young men from misogynist countries, and who follow a misogynistic religion, would ever cause problems?

[Cytotoxic]

No problems in Canada.

[Libertarian]

That's because most Canadian women look like Justine Bieber with boobs.

[Cytotoxic]

THAT IS OFFENSIVE AND WRONG

[Agammamon]

There ain't nuthin' wrong with that.

Justin Bieber is a decent looking girl.

[Ted S.]

It's too cold to get sexually aroused.

[Cytotoxic]

That is offensive and...true.

[PapayaSF]

The study, conducted by the MacDonald Laurier Institute, found 65% of Muslims questioned said they would "repudiate absolutely" the terrorist organization, while 35% would not do so.

Only 35% of Canadian Muslims would not repudiate Al Qaeda! Nothing to worry about, then.

Two recently-released polls found that 42 percent of Canadian Muslims agree that Islam is "irreconcilable" with Western society.

Only a 42% minority! Clearly no cause for concern.

[Cytotoxic]

Cool story bro. Still not having any problems.

[But Enough About Me]

Yet.

[Jerryskids]

Defensive sprays and imitation guns (Pop-Tarts chewed into an L-shape?) and "so-called" gas guns are all they can scrape out the bottom of the barrel as weapons? I can find better weapons than that in my kitchen. Carving fork, corkscrew, kabob skewers, a cast-iron pie weight in a sock (don't judge me), hell, a broken saucer. I'm gonna go beg some bureaucrat for permission to protect myself?

[In League with the Dark Ones]

a cast-iron pie weight in a sock (don't judge me)

For an extreme blanket game?

[bacon-magic]

Gas pistols...I'm not going to go there.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

What about a water pistol? Do you need a special application for those?

FFS, a permit for a BB gun.

[rts]

On the other hand, they are one up on us Canadians for self-defence... sprays are prohibited, as is (I believe) carrying an imitation handgun on your person.

[But Enough About Me]

The "imitation handgun" issue for Canadians is a complicated and murky subject, which, truth be told, is probably exactly how the RCMP like it; better to inspire fear and doubt, rather than just fear.

On the one hand, the Firearms Act talks about "replica firearms" being completely illegal, which is why those cool Japanese plastic model kits of all your favourite bang-bangs from the movies disappeared from Canada sometime in the late 80s, at least where I lived at the time.

On the other hand, BB pistols and/or pellet guns with muzzle velocities under 500 ft/sec, even if they look damn near exactly like the "real thing," ARE legal in Canada; I just recently bought a copy of a Beretta PX4 Storm sidearm, w/390 ft/sec muzzle velocity, from Bass Pro Shops. All of their stuff is vetted by The CBSA (Canada Border Services Agency), whose agents are much better trained and more knowledgeable about firearms law in Canada than most RCMP/LEOs. (Mind you, it's still a stupid idea to walk around openly displaying such a pellet gun, since the average Canuck wouldn't know the difference, would call the cops, and then they'd probably pop a cap in your ass right after they pulled up to your house, sirens blaring.)

[But Enough About Me]

It's also perfectly legal to buy so-called "Blue Guns," which are injection-moulded plastic training aids commonly used for basic sidearm/firearm handling training. I own three of those, all bought from reputable Canadian companies who, once again, had all of their imports fully-vetted by the CBSA. At anything more than a few feet, they could easily be mistaken for the real thing, particularly in poor light.

Also, complicating the issue even more, there are provisions in the Criminal Code that state that, during the commission of any offence, if a perpetrator is carrying anything that can be mistaken for a firearm by the victims of a crime (even something carved out of a Pop-Tart), then, for the purposes of prosecuting the perp, that thing is treated exactly as if it were a firearm by the justice system, especially for purposes of either (a) ginning up the initial criminal charges or (b) enhancing the penalties should the alleged perp be found guilty.

Canada, in this particular instance, is a flaming shit-storm of contradictory standards, and nobody except a few lonely souls appear to have any interest in trying to fix 'em.

[jesse.in.mb]

Posted this in an earlier thread, but figured I'd hit the PM Links with it too: The guy who made Cards Against Humanity has sent a 55 gallon drum of water-based personal lubricant to a bird watching outpost in Oregon for some reason.

Remember: jesse.in.mb is here for ALL your 55 gallon drum of personal lubricant news needs.

[commodious spittoon]

Just don't mix up your industrial-sized barrel of lubricant with your barrel of desiccant, unless you're into that cat-tongue feeling.

[jesse.in.mb]

*Stops humping Peruvian mummy for a moment*

Uhh, are you not supposed to use desiccant?

[Swiss Servator]

*applause and laughter*

[waffles]

Well a bunch of people were sending them all manner of dildos. I imagine the lube comes in handy.

[jesse.in.mb]

He should've sent the silicone/water-based blend. Water-based lubricant gets tacky really quickly.

[Mickey Rat]

So he is having Bill Clinton over for some "bird" watching?

[Aloysious]

So yesterday, I'm in the local grocery store's produce department, a rather odd fellow strikes up a conversation with me specifically to tell me to try his favorite sandwich: fresh white bread, mayonnaise, and banana.

There is no way in hell I am mixing mayo with a banana.

[Ted S.]

What if it's artisanal mayonnaise?

[Aloysious]

No. Just no.

[RAHeinlein]

Notes that Ted S. has artisanal mayo fetish...

[Agammamon]

Well, mainly its an *anal* mayo fetish.

[Tonio]

Oh, those are good. Haven't had one since I was a boy. [adds items to shopping list]

[Aloysious]

Seriously? I admit I've never tried that particular combination, but in my head it just sounds awful.

[Libertarian]

Count me out as well. NEVER.

[Ted S.]

When did you become a girl? :-p

[Clich? Bandit]

I just watched top chef, dude made bananaise...to go with Tom's "wheat beer".

The most disturbing part though is Tom added banana to his beer...if done properly (underpitched and primary at about 70) a German hef will HAVE BANANA ESTERS. Morons. Anyway, there are these new 2 billion population pichables, I wonder how bad WLP 300 will be now. I already have to clean my whole closet if I don't use a blow off tube.

[PapayaSF]

That has got to be one of the top Poor White American Sandwiches, ever.

[bacon-magic]

White bread & A1 sauce.
White bread, slice of kraft cheese & Miracle whip.
White bread & Miracle whip

[Suthenboy]

No sugar-butter sandwiches?

What is wrong with you people?

[OneOut]

I bet you've had one of these Suthenboy, maybe in the old days.

Wonder bread.

Mayo

A couple of thick slices of homegrown tomato with salt and pepper

Also the sugar butter and white bread gourmet recipe brings back childhood memories.

[Rhywun]

I used to rip a slice of bread in pieces and eat it out of a glass of sugared milk.

*shudder*

[Migrant Log Chipper]

In my great Aunt Lily's house it was sugar, butter and lefse.

[gaoxiaen]

NEEDZ MOAR CINNAMON!

[gaoxiaen]

My French professor flipped out when I said Velveeta is my favorite cheese.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Maybe Zeb may try it.

/dead pan stare.

[DK]

I don't think you understood his innuendo. White bread (your lily white ass); mayonnaise (the lubricant jesse has been hyping); banana (his schlong).

[Cytotoxic]

Mayo: always disgusting.

[Mickey Rat]

Required for turkey and BLTs.

[kbolino]

The only legitimate excuses for mayo are "salads": tuna, chicken, egg, and potato. Macaroni salad is however an abomination.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS ALREADY.

I personally like DIJON. The more pinchy the better.

And taragon mustard.

[Cytotoxic]

BARF

Okay maybe BLTS...even that's questionable.

[Los Doyers]

But ever so delicious on french fries. Fuck ketchup.

[Cytotoxic]

BARF. Why not just jizz on your fries and eat them?

[Los Doyers]

How did you...in any case, the Dutch did something right.

[Zeb]

If that's what jizz tastes like, I'll have to reconsider a few things.

[Whahappan?]

Horseradish sauce is infinitely better on fries.

[Juice]

Wrong. That's ketchup.

[Rhywun]

I found a mixed Sriracha/ketchup that's actually pretty nice. But yeah otherwise I agree.

[Zeb]

Mayo goes pretty well with a lot of things you might not expect. Unless you are one of those weirdos that just doesn't like Mayo.

[Rhywun]

I used to prefer Miracle Whip when I was a kid. Now it makes me throw up. Can't say I *love* mayo but I like it in small doses. And it's great for tuna salad.

[commodious spittoon]

I found, at least for now, a surefire way to get my dogs crated: I make eye contact and slowly pick something up off the floor. Usually they're hiding in their crates before I can even shake it at them accusingly.

[Juice]

1. Stop crating your dogs.
2. Stop beating your dogs.

[commodious spittoon]

You make it sound like I'm a monster.

I always give them a choice: either the crate, or the beating and then the crate. And after many moths of careful consideration, they've acclimated to just the crate.

[gaoxiaen]

+1 Buck

[Los Doyers]

Liberals Are Simple-Minded: ...and often more dogmatic than conservatives, according to a new study. By Ronald Bailey

Not a poll. Don't care.

[commodious spittoon]

By Ronald Bailey

Well, he would say that, wouldn't he.

[Los Doyers]

Rico is known for throwing those whom he professes to love under the bus.

[lafe.long]

Al Sharpton: Reverend Criticizes Film Industry for 'Fraudulent' Attitude Regarding Race

No minorities were nominated in the acting categories of the Academy Awards, which Sharpton said shows the industry's "fraudulent image of progressive and liberal politics and policies."

But if Al Sharpton really cared about the "long-lasting cultural and economic impacts" of the black community he would be focusing on what's going on in Washington, not Hollywood. The progressive policies of the Obama Administration disproportionately raise the price of food and energy, destroy jobs, and lower the quality of education in poor and minority neighborhoods.

Instead Sharpton is promoting those harmful policies at the expense of the black community, in order to enhance his own bottom line. At the end of the day, the only color Sharpton really sees is the green going into his bank account.

[PapayaSF]

Pot calls kettle... wait....

[Gadianton]

How accurate is this statement:

Neither major party is liberal in the classical sense of the term. What we actually have are the socially liberal and socially conservative wings of the progressive party.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

What we actually have are authoritarians.

FTFY

[Libertarian]

It's 99% more accurate than what you see on TV or in the press.

[Zeb]

More than that, I'd say. Several hundred percent, at least.

[Social Contractor]

Not very accurate.

[Mazakon]

Rubio files to have suit dismissed about his natural-born status

Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, who has risen as high as second place in some polls on the Republican side of the 2016 presidential race, may soon be the new target of critics who contend he is not a U.S. citizen and therefore ineligible for the presidency.

Rubio went to court in Florida this week to have dismissed a complaint filed against him over his U.S. citizenship and presidential eligibility, arguing that the complaint 'would jeopardize centuries of precedent and deem at least six former presidents ineligible for office.'

According to a report in the Tampa Bay Times, a Fort Lauderdale resident, Michael Voeltz, filed a complaint challenging the citizenship of both Rubio and Texas Sen. Ted Cruz. The complaint argues that the two senators 'at the very least simply fail to comply with the common law Supreme Court established definition of natural born citizen.'

[Mickey Rat]

Will Voeltz be accused of racism?

[Mickey Rat]

Will Voeltz be accused of racism?

[IndyEleven]

President: Another Job Muricans Won't Do

[Pat (PM)]

Deleted my links because I figured we were skipping them. Good job, Rico.

[rts]

Ye of little faith.

[Los Doyers]

Well thanks for giving others a chance to lynx for a change.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Chipotle will close all stores everywhere for one day on February 8th.

I keep waiting for a link to show up here, but I guess Soave is already in his Jetta on his way home.

[Los Doyers]

How heartlessly libertarian of him to buy from a company that was rigging their emissions systems.

[Libertarian]

You know who else had a hand in developing VWs?

[Ted S.]

Ferdinand Porsche?

[Pat (PM)]

Middle-aged man dresses as old woman for official's photo op

CRANSTON, R.I. (AP) ? A city official who wanted to include an elderly woman in a photo op about a snow shoveling program persuaded a middle-aged man to dress up in a wig, earrings, lipstick and a dress.

The man stood next to the mayor of Cranston at a news conference touting the program and wore a name tag that said "Cranston Senior Home Resident."

WJAR-TV uncovered the ruse in reports this week.

It is unclear why officials decided to use a stand-in for a woman during the Jan. 5 news conference, which was held at the senior center where the man worked as a van driver.

Sue Stenhouse, the city's director of senior services, organized the news conference. She resigned last week, according to Rob Coupe, the city's director of administration. Stenhouse, a 2006 Republican nominee for secretary of state, did not return messages requesting comment.

[DJF]

What is wrong with this, maybe she felt like a woman when show shoveling? Isn't that the new standard, how you feel?

[commodious spittoon]

Click through for image. Worth a good chuckle.

[Los Doyers]

Did not disappoint.

[Libertarian]

Let the record show: this was in oh-so-classy New England, NOT Florida.

[Zeb]

Rhode Island is not representative.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

If there is any justice this scoop will net them a Pulitzer....

[Anomalous]

Hillary Clinton Isn't a Lesbian, But She Dresses Like One.

I would think most lesbians look at Hillary and say to each other, I wouldn't do her with your dick.

[lafe.long]

Steven Avery: Convict's Ex-Fianc?e Says She Believes He Is Guilty of Murdering Teresa Halbach

Jodi Stachowski was portrayed as a supporter of Avery on Netflix's "Making a Murderer." In an interview on HLN's "Nancy Grace," Stachowski called Avery a "monster."

[Juvenile Bluster]

Well of course she did. Nancy probably had a spontaneous orgasm when she got the woman to agree to say that.

[commodious spittoon]

Watch for when she knits her eyebrows in consternation. That's when it happens.

[Pat (PM)]

Oregon occupiers ask public for supplies: get glitter, sex toys

Gifts of sex toys, glitter and nail polish are not what the armed protesters who seized a U.S. wildlife refuge in Oregon were expecting when they put out a public call for supplies to help get them through the winter.

The occupiers, who took over buildings at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge on Jan. 2 in the latest conflict over the U.S. government's control of land in the West, had been hoping for snacks, fuel and warm clothes when they provided sympathizers with a local mailing address.

Instead, as they angrily showed online, they received sex-related toys and food that would be of little use as they braced for a long standoff with federal law enforcement agents who have kept watch from a distance.

"It was really mind-blowing to me that people would actually spend their money ... on all this hateful stuff to send out to us," one of the occupiers, Jon Ritzheimer, said in a Facebook video this week in which he displayed items including a large sex toy and a bag of penis-shaped candies.

[jesse.in.mb]

Dude I covered this up above and they've now received a 55 gallon drum of personal lubricant. Keep up.

[Pat (PM)]

This is all Suave's fault...

[jesse.in.mb]

That's something we can all agree on.

[Ted S.]

It was covered in one of the morning threads.

[Libertarian]

With 55 gal of lubricant, threads could be covered morning, noon, and night.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Again, you got free sex toys and dick candy and you're complaining?

[commodious spittoon]

You're supposed to brush this shit off or you give the impression you're really bothered, and you're complaining?

[lafe.long]

"It was really mind-blowing to me that people would actually spend their money ... on all this hateful stuff to send out to us,"

"Spend their money"? I'm sure the "hateful" sex-toy was just a used one they had laying around.

[Irish ?s ESB]

The Cards Against Humanity guy spent $1000 sending them a gigantic thing of lube, so it's very possible someone paid for that.

[jesse.in.mb]

Did you watch the video? It may be worth it entertainment wise if they keep up their youtube presence.

[Libertarian]

Spend "their" money? HAHAHAHAH. I'm sure it was bought with food stamps.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

These people are spending time and money to detract attention from the issues and focus instead on the grandstanding antics of a bunch of posers. It's kind of outrageous, since it also suggests a moving feeling of hostility against the occupiers, who may be annoying, but certainly not threatening to anyone, and come nowhere near the violence of the opposition. I can't see how anyone could actually be that bothered by the occupiers. If anything, they provide an opportunity for discussion. We should be acting to detract attention from the occupiers and focussing it on the issues, instead of the opposite. Who loves the state so much he is outraged that some people have squatted in a Fish and Game building? It's fucking retarted.

[Pat (PM)]

Man on store video wanted for $1,500 chewing gum theft

MARKHAM , Ontario, Jan. 15 (UPI) -- Canadian police are searching for a man accused of staling over $1,500 worth of chewing gum from a local pharmacy.

Surveillance footage posted to YouTube by York Regional Police shows the man entering the pharmacy in Markham holding a garbage bag after arriving by taxi.

"A few moments later he re-enters the store, fills another garbage bag with chewing gum and walks out again," York Regional Police said in a statement posted to Facebook. "It is believed that the man loaded both garbage bags into the taxi that was waiting for him and left."

Am I crazy or is that a lot of gum?

[RBS]

That's a lot of gum!

[rts]

He's going to need a bigger mouth.

[Libertarian]

Somebody's going to be blowing one hell of a bubble.

[commodious spittoon]

Maybe it was Nicorette.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Was it Thrills he stole?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thrills

[lafe.long]

France: Clinical Drug Trial Leaves 6 Hospitalized, 1 of Them Brain Dead, Health Minister Says

Health Minister Marisol Touraine said patients voluntarily took a drug for a Phase 1 clinical trial. She did not give information about the drug and denied reports it was a cannabis-based painkiller.

[DenverJ]

You know the best cannabis-based painkiller? Marijuana. Also hash oil. I'm on my way to pick up some hash oil right now, and you know what? It's legal here!
I honestly never thought I'd see the day.

[Pat (PM)]

McDonald's customer pays at drive-through with cash, heroin

LAPORTE, Ind., Jan. 15 (UPI) -- Indiana police said a man paying for his McDonald's food accidentally handed a bag of heroin to a drive-through worker along with his money.

The LaPorte City Police report of the incident said an employee at the McDonald's in LaPorte took money from a male driver who appeared intoxicated Monday night and she sorted the bills to discover a green plastic baggie containing a "rock-like substance."

Police said the substance "appeared to be heroin" and later testing confirmed the presence of the drug.

Libertarian moment?

[DEG]

Florida Man is on a road trip?

[Swiss Servator]

That would have been meth, not heroin!

[DEG]

He could have made a trade along the way.

[Spartacus]

Any sentence that begins with "Sean Penn thought" is going to end badly.

[Pan Zagloba]

Switzerland apparently also has a seize money from rich asylum seekers law.

And because people wondered about numbers,

Assets were reportedly seized in just over 100 cases in Switzerland last year out of almost 30,000 asylum applications.

[lafe.long]

Thailand Snake Show: Woman Reportedly Bitten on Nose By Snake During Show When She Tried to Kiss It

The Thai company that sponsored the snake show in Phuket paid more than $3,000 in damages, news outlets report. The woman, 29-year-old Jin Jing from China, received stitches on her nose.

[Los Doyers]

Eek. And pythons have some gnarly sharp and inward-curved teeth to get a good grasp on their prey. Oh well, free nosejob.

[Libertarian]

Or, as they say in Thailand, "Phuket, free nosejob."

[commodious spittoon]

"You are cute as a mouse!"

[Notorious UGCC]

She made a mistake, and kissed a snake?

How many doctors did it take?

[Pat (PM)]

This Day in History

1624 - Riots flare in Mexico when it is announced that all churches are to be closed.

1811 - In a secret session, Congress plans to annex Spanish East Florida.

1865 - Union troops capture Fort Fisher, North Carolina.

1913 - The first telephone line between Berlin and New York is inaugurated.

1920 - The Dry Law goes into effect in the United States. Selling liquor and beer becomes illegal.

1965 - Sir Winston Churchill suffers a severe stroke.

1973 - US President Richard Nixon announces the suspension of offensive action by US troops in Vietnam.

1975 - The Alvor Agreement is signed, ending the Angolan War of independence and granting the country independence from Portugal.

1991 - UN deadline for Iraq to withdraw its forces from occupied Kuwait passes, setting the stage for Operation Desert Storm.

2001 - Wikipedia goes online.

[Los Doyers]

2001 - Wikipedia goes online.

And boy have they let the world know.

[Pat (PM)]

"Give us $3 or we'll shoot this dog"

[Medical Physics Guy]

Wikipedia moderators fancy themselves cops now?

[Los Doyers]

Dog, Canis Lupus Familiaris

[commodious spittoon]

Badger! Meles Meles!

[Los Doyers]

I should get around to seeing that.

[commodious spittoon]

I have a biased view of it since it's been my go-to first-night-in-date movie for awhile, and it's Wes Anderson so pretentious and disjointed and overall doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But the dialogue is punchy and the animation memorable.

[Los Doyers]

I'll put it on my Prime rent list. And maybe even be edgy and put it under "interests" in my Tinder profile.

[Swiss Servator]

"1913 - The first telephone line between Berlin and New York is inaugurated."

You know who else wanted a line between New York and Berlin?

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

The owners of the Excelsior?

[DenverJ]

The Hindenburg?

[Rhywun]

Jerry Brown?

[Cytotoxic]

One of the things that sucks about Syria is the lack of non-Kurdish secular fighters who don't suck at fighting. The Syrian Democratic Forces, essentially a Syrian-Arab auxiliary of the Kurds as far as I can tell, may be changing that. They win against ISIS and other crazies like Nusra and Arar Al-Sham. This might be one worth arming in the future.

http://aranews.net/2016/01/50-.....ic-forces/

I think the Kurds trained these guys. I'm guessing they spent than the CIA did to train 7 people or whatever it was.

[DJF]

Its not the training, its the will to fight. When the bullets fly around it often helps to have stronger ideas then "lets all be secular" or even worse "lets get a paycheck".

As far as I can tell what exists of the Syrian secularists don't even agree on what a secular Syria would look like. Its probably hard to get fired up about it enough to risk their lives.

[Cytotoxic]

The SDF is pretty secular and they clearly have the will to fight.

[DJF]

But they have the fear of the crazies or the Turks or the Iraqis etc killing them all. That inspires youi

[JeremyR]

They are also communist, like the PKK. So they might be secular to an extent, but they have revolutionary fervor.

[Cytotoxic]

Where does it say that? The PKK/PYG definitely is but I don't know about the SDF.

[AlmightyJB]

1. Southern Tier Creme Brulee
2. Heavy Seas Winter Storm
3. Great Lakes Blackout Stout

Plus played Bowie concert on jukebox

Good start to weekend

[DEG]

Creme Brulee is good. I think I have a bottle of Heavy Seas in my cabinet. Great Lakes makes some good stuff but I haven't seen their Blackout Stout.

[AlmightyJB]

First time I've had the Blackout Stout myself. Pretty good. I really like that Winter Storm. Wasn't quite sure what to expect but very nicely balanced.

[DEG]

I'll look for it the next time I'm in Pennsylvania. I've never seen Great Lakes beer in New England.

[DEG]

I'm starting the weekend with Gahan House Iron Bridge. It's good.

[Libertarian]

"Just nine men are registered as donors a year after the opening of Britain's national sperm bank in Birmingham. [?] Donors are paid ?35 per clinic visit, but Ms Witjens said financial reward was not a good way to boost recruitment. "We might get more donors if we paid ?50 or ?100 per donation, but money corrupts. "If you feel you can make ?200 a week for four months, you might hide things about your health."

NINE men? You know, in 20 years, whenever there are hundreds of reports of marriages between half-siblings, I suppose we'll all be expected to express shock. "ENGLAND: THE COUNTRY WHERE WE CAN ALL ACT LIKE ROYALTY AND MARRY OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS."

http://www.samizdata.net/2016/.....middlemen/

[AlmightyJB]

Maybe the sperm banks should do house calls.

[Libertarian]

I'm sure somebody would be willing to lend a hand.

[Cytotoxic]

Trump's Image Among Democrats, Independents Most Negative of Any GOP Candidate

Like, 'elevation of Marianas Trench' negative.

http://www.gallup.com/opinion/.....idate.aspx'

That's why he stands no chance of election. There's also the fact that many GOP/cons hate him.

[AlmightyJB]

I've always hated him, but the fact that everyone else hates him makes me want him to win out of pure schadenfreude. It's his only redeeming quality.

[Libertarian]

He's a buffoon. Yet when I hear so many of the talking heads criticize him -- for the wrong reasons -- I find myself turning sympathetic.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, I mean to watch the media, acedemia, social media heads explode? Why the fuck not. I mean how much worse can he be?

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

The PJMedia crowd fucking loves him. "Make America great again" and "billions from millions" are the only two reasons I've seen for that, though.

[Cytotoxic]

Trump is turning into a great way of discriminating between conservatives who might possibly have a brain and total retards/racists.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Is anyone saying he stands a chance in the general? I think the fear is he stands a chance in the primary, permanently relegating the GOP to third-party status.

[Cytotoxic]

Oh you should listen to some of the yokeltards around these parts. "Trumps in it to win it AND he will because MASTER PERSUADOR!11" also "Everyone hates open borders so Trump wins". These people really believe that normal people share their pants-shitting xenophobia.

[Acosmist]

Scott Adams is a yokeltarian? ok.

[AlmightyJB]

I've been saying since the beginning that if he wins the primary, Hillary wins for sure but I'm srarting to doubt myself.

[Cytotoxic]

I'm not. Goldwater had better chances.

[AlmightyJB]

He actually has a lot of democrat support.

[kbolino]

The union leadership will vote as they always do. There's not point in having politicians on the payroll if they're not going to hold office, after all. But the rank-and-file are much more likely to break for Trump if he makes it to the general.

[Cytotoxic]

They are going to fall in line with Hillary you know it.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

I'd love to see a Trump/Sanders faceoff. For the lulz.

[kbolino]

Trump is certainly no libertarian and not much of a conservative. But Mitt Romney was pilloried for being a "right-wing extremist" despite the fact that if you squinted you couldn't tell whether he was a Republican or a Democrat. There is a sizeable chunk of the R-leaning vote that is thinking "we're not going to get a conservative, so we might as well get a non-conservative that we like". Also, there's a lot of people who genuinely think he's going to "make America great again". Trusting polling at this point is like reading tea leaves.

[Cytotoxic]

"There is a sizeable chunk of the R-leaning vote that is thinking "we're not going to get a conservative, so we might as well get a non-conservative that we like". "

And then there's the bazillions of millenials and other normal people who are not enamoured of scape goating minorites and rambling like a mentally ill buffoon.

Debate:

Trump: "you're bad because blah blah b;ah"

Hillary: "I can't be that bad. Why would you donate to me if I was?"

Boom election over.

[kbolino]

Boom election over

Let's revisit this issue when PM Zoolander is on his way out.

[Pat (PM)]

And then there's the bazillions of millenials and other normal people who are not enamoured of scape goating minorites and rambling like a mentally ill buffoon.

The sane millennials supporting Sanders' candidacy...

[Zeb]

To be fair, he said "normal" not "sane".

[Cytotoxic]

Exactly.

[TheZeitgeist]

Hillary: "I can't be that bad. Why would you donate to me if I was?"

Boom election over. Trump: "Because you were fixed to win carpetbagger, and I needed to rent you just like everyone else in New York."

[Cytotoxic]

No one will care about that.

"Let's revisit this issue when PM Zoolander is on his way out."

Why? His rise to power just re-inforces why Trump is never going to rise to power. He's a pretty tolerant face. He's an ugly 'intolerant' one.

[kbolino]

His rise to power

would be at the exact opposite end of "on his way out", no?

[Cytotoxic]

I fail to see your point.

[kbolino]

I fail to see your point.

Oh, that much was abundantly clear.

Obama was the action. Trump is the reaction.

Trudeau is the action...

[Cytotoxic]

Trump may be the reaction. So what? That doesn't win an election.

[Pat (PM)]

He's also PM of a completely different country roughly the size of a large US metro area.

[Cytotoxic]

Same underlying principles.

[TheZeitgeist]

If Trump gets nom, he won't be running against his favorables; he'll be running against Hillary - assuming she can stay out of prison long enough.

[Cytotoxic]

Won't matter. Her awfulness will be washed out by his. I would almost say Trump nom is her stay out of jail card.

[TheZeitgeist]

I'm saying Hillary's specialty in any real contest is losing.

[Cytotoxic]

We have a guy named John Tory in Canada whose life mission was to lose. Then he won mayor of Toronto.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Hillary's stay-out-of-jail card is being Hillary.

[Libertarian]

I still do not believe Trump will come anywhere close to getting the nomination. Since no one has even cast a single vote yet, all this talk is just talk.

[GILMORE?]

"Fox is going to revive....24?but without Jack Bauer, which is honestly the stupidest idea anyone has ever had."

I never saw a single episode of the show. Was Keiffer Sutherland really that central to its appeal? I thought Jack Bauer was just an "everyman's anti-terrorist", Generic-American-Cop character under extraordinary circumstances. I thought the whole point of Jack Bauer was that he was just a normal-guy driven to extraordinary lengths by those darn terrorists.

Seems to me the point of the show's revival is the idea that, "Dammit, the War on Terror hasn't gone *completely* out of fashion yet! We need some honest-to-goodness islamophobia for liberals to point at!"

[Cytotoxic]

It was the Jack Bauer Power Hour for a while and then its side-characters carried the show more and more. They should make Chloe the main character that's the only way it could be good.

[Raven Nation]

Part of the problem was that a lot of the side characters got killed off.

[Cytotoxic]

Game of Terrorists?

[Pat (PM)]

The show lasted for something like 9 seasons, and over the course of that time Jack Bauer's character underwent a similar transformation as John McClane from the original Die Hard to the newest Die Hard, where he basically turns into superhero.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Season 1 and 2 rock

[jesse.in.mb]

I'm sure the show could work with any actor who can play grizzled, morally-compromised and utterly convinced that it's ok to do more damage to stop a terrorist than the terrorist would do if left to his own devices.

[kbolino]

If you want to see some range from Sutherland, compare him in 24 to To End All Wars.

[The Last American Hero]

I watched one episode. I have no interest in shows that support the GWOT and serve to explain how awesome and great CIA torture and Gitmo are with the same subtlety that Madame Secretary explains how awesome Hillary Clinton is.

[GILMORE?]

""Sean Penn thought ""

This seems implausible to me

[DEG]

He's trying to get ready for a trip to Milliways. I expect he will fail.

[Los Doyers]

Sometimes he just gets that look on, ya know.

[AlmightyJB]

Sean Penn makes Forest Gump look like Mark Twain.

[TheZeitgeist]

This seems implausible to me

Fruit batteries work in principle if not real applications, it is a fact.

[GILMORE?]

Portraits of Shitty New York
Where people are so poor, they relegate their least-talented children to holding basketball hoops while others hone their ghetto-escaping jump shots

[Los Doyers]

The Orcs of New York Facebook page is pretty hilarious, too.

[Trials and Trippelations]

Ugg are those Duke basketballs?

[GILMORE?]

Portraits of Shitty New York

Where shitty Hasidim refuse to leave anyone alone, trailing runners for miles, asking, "EXCUSE ME ARE YOU JEWISH?"

[jesse.in.mb]

The guy on the left looks like he just got propositioned by someone in bad drag.

[GILMORE?]

Portraits of Shitty New York

Where floor-traders are forced to put their own children up as collateral during market selloffs

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Joey, you ever seen a grown man naked? Do you like movies about gladiators?

[Juice]

Why is there even a floor anymore?

[GILMORE?]

At one point i actually knew the answer to that question, however it was for a regulatory exam which means i forgot it the second after i passed

[GILMORE?]

Portraits of Shitty New York

Where Manspreading has become a form of terrorism

[commodious spittoon]

Soave has a cute girlfriend.

[Los Doyers]

Are you blind? Those are UGG boots.

[commodious spittoon]

She can keep them on.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Not in my house.

[jesse.in.mb]

He looks so pleased with himself.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

With a goddamned ounce of style, that dude could look like this... but he totally fucked it up.

[Rhywun]

Goddamn I fucking hate manspreading. This is one case where New York values - at least those of inconsiderate asshole males - really do suck.

[Cytotoxic]

Manspreading is necessary. My junk needs room. That guy is way overdoing it though.

[GILMORE?]

Portraits of Shitty New York

Where a brother still can't ever get a cab

[GILMORE?]

Portraits of Shitty New York

Where homeless people insist on feeding their lapdogs vegan thai food

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

If he got anything over 3 stars, his dog'll have the shits all night.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Huh, are you guys as bad at clearing the streets as we are?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Meant to be reply to brother still can't get a cab.

[Crusty Juggler]

Gilmore and his New York values.

[Ammy40]

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[Ammy410]

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