Reason State of the Union Live Tweet

Real-time reactions to President Barack Obama's final State of the Union address.

Tweets from https://twitter.com/kmanguward/lists/reason1

Comments

[Sevo]

None of the witty folks are here? You guys didn’t offer popcorn, did you?

[JPyrate]

Oh shit fuck you Sevo !!! =D

[JPyrate]

Reason live tweets in vain

First.

Do I win a fucking prize ?

[Sevo]

Yeah, you get to go chase the popcorn.

[JPyrate]

=D

[JPyrate]

Pours Sevo a glass of hard cida straight from teh mason jar. =)

[OneOut]

Sure

2nd place

[Sevo]

Ed, I’m relying on you guys to take one for the team here; not enough money in Bernie’s power ball game to get me to watch it.

[JPyrate]

You win 4 dollars !!! But you owe my two !!! I want my 2 dollars !!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z9Cg46Nktw

[commodious spittoon]

I wonder if Reason writers are on the clock for this. I would certainly need to be.

[Rhywun]

Yeah, I would rather stick a fork in each eye.

[SIV]

Can we get a live cam so we can watch Nick tear up?

[Quincy.]

O was triggered by the lack of uptwinkles.

[Contrarian P]

There’s no way I’m watching this thing. The sight of a bunch of Congresspeople continually giving standing ovations to meaningless platitudes like apparatchiks from Soviet Russia or Nazi party members makes me sick. Seriously, all that is missing from these things are slogan chanting and straight arm salutes.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yeah, I don’t get even watching it ironically, all political-hipster-wonk-like.

[commodious spittoon]

And the vulture-like media waiting to pounce on anyone not paying the president the respect he deserves like party comrades denouncing some poor slob.

[Tejicano]

For me this is one of the many up-sides to living on the other side of the planet.

[GILMORE?]

“”President Obama’s full #SOTU remarks are here: “”

Holy @#()$&@ does this mean we just drink all at once??

(sets up funnel)

[Quincy.]

Quincy Foie Gras Inc. calls dibs on GILMORE’s liver.

[JPyrate]

I’ll do it. FOR TEH PEOPLES !!!!!!!

[GILMORE?]

I count =

3 – “fair shot, fair deal”-s

1 – “nation building”

1 – “broken immigration system”

Surprisingly little on guns

1 – criminal justice reform
1 – “I kill motherfuckers ” – (“ISIL will learn the same lessons as terrorists before them.” BOOM SUCKAH)

1 – Re-up of the re-up of the re-up of “The Gitmo Shutdown” *(a new dance hit)

1 – “We can do big things together” and “who we are” in the closing sentence.

So…… “9”?

ppppt.. I’m already done.

[Quincy.]

Ryan shaved it off. Pussy.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

He shaved his pussy?

[Quincy.]

AMERICA WAS GREAT WHEN SPEAKERS OF DA HOUSE HAD BEARDS. WHY YOU HATE AMERICA?

[GILMORE?]

He tried the Lumbersexual, now he’s going Twink?

[Raven Nation]

Well, the NFL relocation sweepstakes is on. Forget Powerball, get an NFL team and cities will beg to give you money.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Trump owned a football team once.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

And now, a transgender Indian version of Pharrell’s “Happy”

[Longtorso, Johnny]

YouTube vid of above.

[Contrarian P]

What the hell was that?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I gave you a transgender Indian version of Pharrell’s “Happy”. Pray I don’t alter the deal further.

[Tejicano]

pretty easy to imagine that without even clicking

[Longtorso, Johnny]

No, it really isn’t.

[Tejicano]

Only if I misunderstood and it was done in Apache.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you.

[GILMORE?]

A transgender pop group… sponsored by a tea-company?

How *transgressive*

[Brochettaward]

No use of the phrase ‘common sense’ and only one reference to sensible regulations. Damn.

[Quincy.]

Lady Liberty has better arms than O.

[Quincy.]

How we reinvented the energy sector. Frack you.

[Winston]

Reason writers can’t be so mean if they want to continue attending their cocktail parties. And Reason commenters need an article so they can know if it is okay to attack David Brooks or not.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

It is never not OK to attack David Brooks.

[Juvenile Bluster]

New addition to drinking game: Whenever anyone references cocktail parties.

[DenverJ]

I’m thirsty, I wish someone would invite me to a “cocktail party”.

[DesigNate]

It’s always okay to attack David Brooks.

[SIV]

So if a meteor or a Muslim hits the building who are they holding in reserve as the “legitimate successor” to all these assholes?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

A low level cabinet member is hiding in a cave somewhere, or something like that.

[Tejicano]

Whoever it is it would be an upgrade

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Even if its TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tejicano]

The replacement, by definitiion would be somebody already in the governement. Maybe postmaster general or some other low-level cbinet member who was not invited for whaterver reason. That would be awesome.

[DenverJ]

It is the Secretary of Homeland Security.

[d3x / dt3]

I’d rather eat broken glass than listen to Jefe.

[JPyrate]

Clapping for Heroin abuse !!!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Hello, you 420 blazing scrublords! Once upon a time there were these casuals live-tweeting to Obama’s State of the Union address. These causals couldn’t blaze hard enough. These causals like liberty, but they couldn’t find a place dank enough for their ganja addiction. So they asked me for help. I told them that if they want to blaze it the hardest, go to the Hit ‘n Run comments section.

Peace out, scrubs!

[Sevo]

I know Agile Cyborg, and you’re no Agile Cyborg!

[Heroic Mulatto]

U wot, m8?

[GILMORE?]

You’re doing this guy now?

[Heroic Mulatto]

It’s not nice to dox Epi.

[Sevo]

Saving the sailors for last, I see.

[Winston]

How long until Reason starts missing Obama? Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton believe in socialized medicine, gun control and central planning too and are beloved by Reasonoids.

[commodious spittoon]

Que?

[Sevo]

It’s Winston…

[Winston]

http://reason.com/blog/2010/11…..carter-the

http://reason.com/archives/201…..onostalgia

[Calidissident]

Yes, moderate praise in one article of a few specific actions by Carter and Clinton that weren’t terrible means Reason totally loves them. Let’s just ignore all the times they criticized them, those don’t count. It’s just to trick people out and make them think Reason isn’t actually an secret operating arm of the Democratic Party.

[DenverJ]

Wait, what? I thought we a secret operating wing for the Republicans! (Slaps forehead)

[Winston]

Eh the progs attack the Republicans for being a bunch of insane libertarian nihilists that want to throw grandma off a cliff and destroy society with austerity while libertarians attack them for being a bunch of phony fiscal conservatives that only reduce the rate of spending increases while not touching medicare. So that line of reasoning (drink!) is not much of a defense.

[Winston]

Actually I would it is more that they believe the Democrats secretly know that they are full of shit and are itching to become libertarians despite all evidence to the contrary.

Oh and I didn’t mention all of those commenters who will bemoan how much better Clinton and Carter was then the current administration.

[waffles]

Obama is awesome. I will always remember him as the president half the writers here decided to vote for because the Republicans needed to be punished and punished hard. Has he let us down? No! He has fulfilled his promise and then some. Not only did he punish Republicans. He punished all of us! Hooray for the Union! Hooray for the end of a glorious era!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tejicano]

Well, if the hilldog ends up in the white house again there is a possibility…

[SIV]

So I ought a single lottery ticket. I need at least $100 million to overcome my frugal nature and buy a loaded Wraith. I’m gonna resist the urge to have it done up as the General Lee but a Dixie horn and an exhaust cutout top my mod list. Well right after getting a nice full size Spirit of Ecstasy to replace that li’l one on the hood.

[Sevo]

“Outsourcing is good, technology phasing out human labor is good, all of this is good. Makes us richer, happier.”

And the proggies are happy to help them all along with new labor regs and M/W rates!

[JPyrate]

Suck that Obama cock Ryan. It turns Obama on when you do not want to do it.

[SIV]

Fuck college, that shit is for Poindexter-fags like Warty.

[Rhywun]

I’ll watch IF there is a channel that has a camera focused on the empty gun-violence chair next to the Wookiee.

[JPyrate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO6M4ngKRp0

[Quincy.]

“Our businesses.” Telling.

[JPyrate]

We Built that.

[lap83]

Except when they misbehave, like parents talking about their naughty children “do you know what your son has been up to?”

[SIV]

Wage insurance? Fuck this noise.

[commodious spittoon]

Sending your application out to new employers is your wage employment. Oh, but he’s done everything in his power to make employment unattractive for employers. I see what he means.

[Winston]

Obama using EO to circumvent the Bill of Rights and the Democrats are one SCOTUS vote short of gutting the First and Second? Libertarian Moment!

[JPyrate]

Well if the gun grabbers will not follow the first, or the second why should I ???

[Quincy.]

“There is red tape to be cut.” At the opening of the Presidential Library.

[SIV]

Walk With Jesus

[JPyrate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXCh9OhDiCI

[GILMORE?]

You can listen to your so-called “president’ all you want, people. I listen to the views of people who matter.

[Winston]

Here’s a brilliant Welch hope from back in 2008:

Amid Obama’s host of illiberal campaign ideas?”fair” trade, centralized energy policy, New Deal?style infrastructure projects, more federal dollars into the sinkhole of public schools?the Democratic candidate also spiced his daily stump speech with a firm-sounding nod to fiscal responsibility. Coupled with a sorry budget situation that’s certain to get worse as a result of massive income tax losses from Wall Street, this commitment to fiscal sobriety may strangle many of Obama’s more expensive fantasies in the crib and crack open the door for ending or privatizing any number of inefficient federal programs.

http://reason.com/archives/200…..as-numbers

[Longtorso, Johnny]

But Trump is HITLER!!!!!!

[JPyrate]

* TEH

[Sevo]

Winston, did Welch beat you out of a job at sometime in the past?

[Winston]

I’m pointing out one of the guys who keeps blathering on about the libertarian moment makes a ridiculously wrong prediction of Obama’s behavior back in 2008. No big deal.

[JPyrate]

He did not get teh job because he showed up with Democrat cum on his face.

[Quincy.]

“We can do so much more.” Stop trying credit for everything. That’s a start.

[Sevo]

“It turns out, many of our best corporate citizens are also our most creative.” Why is that supposed to be surprising? IT TURNS OUT?!”

‘Community Activist’ learns something!

[Tejicano]

blind pigs and all that…

[Quincy.]

It’s because they make bad watercolors and poetry in their free time, idiot. THAT’S WHAT CREATIVE MEANS.

[Tejicano]

Sorry, I was refering to obozo saying anything relevant and/or truthful

[Quincy.]

STEVE JOBS MADE A TRILLION DOLLAR COMPANY. PFFT. HE STUDIED CALLIGRAPHY AND HINDUISM AND DRUGS. THAT IS WHY HE IS CREATIVE.

[DenverJ]

You know who else painted?

[Quincy.]

Winston Churchill?

[Palin's Buttplug]

“70 consecutive months of private sector job growth while cutting the deficit by nearly 3/4”

“Gas under $2 a gallon”

Wow, that pisses the GOPers off.

[Sevo]

Somebody asked why you are so universally hated here; this should be used as example A.
You slimy POS, you’ve never argued in good faith the entire time you’ve been here.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Bitter Clingers gonna bitter cling.

[Sevo]

Palin’s Buttplug|1.12.16 @ 9:47PM|#
“Bitter Clingers gonna bitter cling.”

THAT’S supposed to make up for ten years of lies?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

“Gas under $2 a gallon”

From the Saudis trying to kill US production so we have to buy theirs and fund terrorists. Heck of job, Weigel.

[JPyrate]

You obscene little poo shooter !!!! Stop That !!!!!

Even teh Organ Grinder will not buy you back !!!

/WHACK

[kbolino]

The President creates private-sector jobs?

[Gilbert Martin]

Why would GOPers be pissed off that the private sector alone created absolutely 100% of those outcomes despite the dead weight drag of Obama’s idiotic policies?

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

I wonder how much of that job growth are contracts related to trying to unfuck Obamacare sites? And, please, pray tell, what has the Lightbringer done to reduce gas prices? Oh, and I’d love to see an analysis of the deficit. Because if we’re factoring in Obamacare costs that are being postponed by executive order until past his presidency that might be less of a feather in his cap.

[DesigNate]

National Debt as a percentage of GDP. Notice anything about this chart? Why that’s a dip down between Clinton and Obama.

Federal Deficit. It’s easy to reduce the deficit when you add on a supposedly one time $800BB stimulus and make it your fucking baseline for the next 4 years.

God you are a slimy little demfag.

[Hyperion]

Ya’ll enjoy, I pay as much attention to what Obama says as I do the wind blowing. And re-twattering it? I dunno, not interested.

[Tejicano]

That’s why I’m down here with the commutariat just chewing the fat. You couldn’t pay me to either watch the STFU speach or even read the twat-ter feed. I’m just waiting to hear what concrete steps the Lightgiver is pretending to take for his favorite little programs and how that will affect me.

[Sevo]

“”Gas under two bucks a gallon ain’t bad, either.” Lord, that little grin. Reminder: POTUS doesn’t control gas prices.”

True, but he’s done his damndest to raise ’em as high as possible and gotten gob-smacked by reality. And the twit is not trying to take credit.

[lap83]

Fuck no.

[Quincy.]

Ban the Internet because Tweets.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

One last time before I leave.

TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GILMORE?]

ENB = “It’s the foreign policy part of the speech. Drink! (if you know what’s good for you) #SOTU”

See? they just go willy nilly, whenever they want. Its chaos! utter chaos!. There was once a time when speech-drinking actually meant something… (sobs into beer)

[Quincy.]

PREDICTION: Best speech since the evolution of the larynx.

[Sevo]

“Hey, as long as we’re redistributin’, how bout giving some of the extra chins in the room to those without?”

Meow…

[Fun at Parties]

I couldn’t stomach listening to his recycled campaign promises and lies while patting himself on the back. Such a disgusting display of arrogance Obama is making Trump look humble in comparison tonight with his ego.

[SIV]

Baby baby

[Palin's Buttplug]

He is on the “Don’t Do Stupid Shit” now – the Obama Doctrine.

GOP angry again.

[Sevo]

Obo and turd stupid again.

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

If that’s his doctrine why hasn’t he followed it…I don’t know, ever?

[DesigNate]

mmmm, suck that Obama cock demfag, it’s not going to suck itself.

[SIV]

Sweet Pea

[Sevo]

“In an NBC poll last month, 34% approved of Obama’s handling of ISIS”

Poll finds 34% well below average intelligence.

[Quincy.]

“Keep working to shut down Gitmo.” How many days since the first one.

[Palin's Buttplug]

18,000 products made in the US to have tax/tariffs lifted.

Free Trade Obama!

[Sevo]

“Free Trade Obama!”

Cherry-pick turd!

[kbolino]

18,000 products made in the US

WTF does this even mean? Is this supposed to be units sold? Then it’s laughably small. Is it supposed to be product lines? Then it’s practically meaningless. You can create 18,000 SKUs of the same product by fiddling with the details.

[Sevo]

Well, underwear with sequins, pencils (if they’re painted purple), some particularly ugly models of automobiles, you get the picture.
But turd’s convinced!

[Tejicano]

Of course they were totally different products. One was in blue, another in red, then another was green,…

[Palin's Buttplug]

You can’t be that stupid.

http://mohawkglobal.com/global…..-the-list/

partial list of 119.

[kbolino]

You can’t be that stupid.

I called out your meaningless number, fuckstick, and your answer is to just pick a whole new meaningless number out of your ass.

Brilliant.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Why do you hate free trade?

[kbolino]

Aww, ran out of talking points?

[Tejicano]

He has to wait for obama to finish before he can pull anything else out of his ass

[Sevo]

This is from his link:
“President Obama made the TPP negotiations the most transparent in American history”

Now, does anyone remember how the negotiations were handled?
“How secretive is the Trans-Pacific Partnership?”
[…]
“Two copies of the biggest free trade deal in history are sitting in reading rooms — one at each end of the Capitol.
The document is classified. Only members of Congress and staffers with security clearance can access it. And they can’t make copies or even carry their own handwritten notes out the door.”
http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/11/…..index.html

Now, turd, there must be assholes more pathetic and dishonest than you, since it’s hard to believe we’re ‘blessed’ with the most obnoxious in the world.
But there are times I wonder…

[kbolino]

Tell me shriek, is it more or less than 8%?

[Tejicano]

But you obviously can be that stupid.

The article you linked says that tariffs eliminated OR REDUCED – pretty fucking weak sauce there fuckstick.

Have you ever worked in international trade before?

[Rhywun]

It’s the national equivalent of those New York State “lowest taxes in decades!” commercials.

[kbolino]

The linked USTR “report” basically being a fluff piece for the Obama administration, filled with pretty pictures and yet more meaningless/misleading numbers, is especially comforting.

[SIV]

I’m a King Bee

[american socialist]

He’s awesome. The best leader of the age. The thought that his replacement (with a notable exception) will be some warmonger-lite with a serial sexual predator husband OR WORSE really does fill me with fear.

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.12.16 @ 9:56PM|#
“He’s awesome. The best leader of the age.”

No one bothers to ask why you are universally hated.

[kbolino]

He’s awesome. The best leader of the age.

3/10 leg tingles

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

If you really think he’s the best leader of the age then you must see doomsday prepping as a perfectly rational activity.

[Fun at Parties]

Oh a side note, Twitter is working on an Ad platform that turns average joe schmoe tweets into ads for companies under the justification that the average user is more likely to trust people on their friends list than a celeb or spokesperson. First came the SJW censorship, and now the Ads. Wave bye-bye to Twitter folks. It has truly gone to the birds in their desperate attempt to save slumping stock prices. http://consumerist.com/2016/01…..-into-ads/

[kbolino]

… somewhere somebody things this is a great loss

[Rhywun]

The coming 10,000-character limit should save the day. Don’t you want to read what Paris Hilton (or one of your random friends) can come up with in 10,000 characters?

[Quincy.]

“We the people.” Oh shit.

[SIV]

Feelin’ So Good

[Quincy.]

“Only happen if we have debates” Sure.

[Sevo]

Newsflash!
Reason doesn’t pay enough for ENB to afford a new computer! Raise the Min Wage, stat!

[Juvenile Bluster]

Well, if you people had donated more at the last webathon…

[Quincy.]

Compromise! COMPROMISE!

[Quincy.]

PEER PRESSURE!

[DenverJ]

ABC just showed Kim Davis, drink!

[american socialist]

Obama tells Congress that it shouldn’t’ be run by loud-mouth extremists. Paul Ryan looks like he just took a dump in response.

[kbolino]

2/10 no comment

[Juvenile Bluster]

Obama prefers to pretend he isn’t a loud-mouth extremist while allowing his sycophants to be that for him.

[Sevo]

american socialist|1.12.16 @ 9:59PM|#
“Obama tells Congress that it shouldn’t’ be run by loud-mouth extremists.”

You bet! One of them might point out that he’s not king!

[kbolino]

1% of me wants to see Bernie Sanders elected just to reveal what utter liars his supporters are

The other 99% knows damn well that they have no shame and don’t care about how naked their greed is

[Sevo]

“The other 99% knows damn well that they have no shame and don’t care about how naked their greed is”

Commie-kid is all about fairness and ‘economic justice’ which is the reason he bailed on his mortgage and stuck honest people with it!

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

Yeah, there’s only room for one loud-mouth extremist in American politics, right!?

[SIV]

The Money’s Yours and Mine

[Quincy.]

We will Gerrymander it better!

[american socialist]

Fuck that, Obama. Most of these Republicans in the room are getting their money from those billionaires. How dare he?

[kbolino]

1/10 self-awareness completely absent

[american socialist]

I mean… HOW DARE HE!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaatrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

[kbolino]

Dammit you are pushing the limits of my scale here.

[Sevo]

Commie-kid has no peak stupid; there’s always more.

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

If only we could find some way to tap stupidity as a power source…

[Quincy.]

“i depends on you.” Fuck off, drinking.

[Quincy.]

VOICES! TRIBES! SCAPEGOATS!

[Quincy.]

“Our brand of democracy is hard.” Hipster.

[Tejicano]

And it ticks them off that no matter how hard it gets we won’t bend over for them.

[Crusty Juggler]

I liked democracies’ earlier work. Now it’s just played out.

[Crusty Juggler]

“I can’t do these on my own.”

I will help you, President Cool Guy.

[Fun at Parties]

We will all help when it comes to health care… so says this presidential gun held against everyone’s head.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

“Pass these bills or the black man gets it!!”

[Tejicano]

I suppose about that’s the point when Michelle hands him the tube of hand lotion and tells him it’s his only option

[Palin's Buttplug]

What Will Trump Tweet?

WWTT?

[Fun at Parties]

That would be a great logo on camo beer-can cozies. Calling it now, the rage of 2016’s hunting/NASCAR season.

[DenverJ]

Damnit, PB, I hate to admit it, but that made me laugh.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Jacket makes a funny!

Nick Gillespie
?@nickgillespie
If clock boy was here, this thing would be over already.

[Rhywun]

He must be busy in Qatar perfecting his clock-making skills – otherwise you know he’d be there front and center.

[Crusty Juggler]

Allow me to be the first make this joke: Kim Davis is showing her solidarity with Bill Cosby.

[Crusty Juggler]

Gillespie tweeted about male kegals. I have nothing more to add about that.

[Fun at Parties]

Gotta love the Twitter irony letting people shit all over Kim Davis with fat shaming etc but censor the bejeezus if you do that sort of thing to somebody the liberals like.

[Fun at Parties]

Gotta love the Twitter irony letting people shit all over Kim Davis with fat shaming etc but censor the bejeezus if you do that sort of thing to somebody the liberals like.

[Fun at Parties]

ugh apparently having twitter open while posting causes glitches in the matrix. sorry for the dupe I hate those.

[Tejicano]

Hey, somebody’s got to feed the squirrels. I only wish they would drag a overused buttplug back to the hole and hide it for a season or two.

[Granny Weatherwax]

The squirrels may be insane, but they’re not stupid. Burying the buttplug with the other nuts would ruin the lot.

[DenverJ]

(wrinkles nose) Smells like kimchi

[SIV]

Fuck you, Nikki. You were doing so well up until…

[DenverJ]

(wrinkles nose) Smells like kimchi

[DenverJ]

This was supposed to be up thread, so I’m re posting it there if anyone cares

[millytaylor125612]

My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do..

Clik This Link inYour Browser….

? ? ? ? http://www.workpost30.com

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

So, I spent my evening trying to feed my kid solid food, having a few cocktails with the wife, and watching Law & Order reruns. Did I miss anything? I’m assuming it was something along the lines of common sense gun control, never you mind about Guantanamo, I’ve got Middle East policy right where I want it, and Obamacare is a resounding success. Also, bitter clingers, right-wing gun nuts, and a winning grin. Is that about it?