Gary Johnson Running for President, Alabama Chief Justice Bars Judges From Issuing Same-Sex Licenses, White House Says No Evidence of North Korean Hydrogen Bomb Test: P.M. Links

• 

  Wikipedia

• As expected, Gary Johnson announced he was running for president.
• Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore issued an administrative order barring state judges from issuing same-sex licenses.
• The White House says there's no evidence North Korea detonated a hydrogen bomb.
• A new bill in Missouri would have police collect data on perceived sexual orientation and religion as well as race, gender, disability, English language proficiency, and national origin.
• The CEO of Netflix says his company is a "global TV network" after announcing availability in 130 new countries, bringing its total to more than 190, and every major country except China.
• A French court has suspended the trial of art dealer Guy Wildenstein, whose attorneys argued prosecutors "doubled up" tax and criminal charges.

New at Reason.com:

• What Are the Odds You Know Who's Going To Be President?
  Prediction markets do better than pundits or polls.
  By John Stossel
• Where are the Moderate Trumpists?
  Trump supporters full of rage.
  By A. Barton Hinkle
• Koko the Gorilla has a Message for Gullible People on Facebook
  By Austin Bragg

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

…Gary Johnson announced he was running for president.

THOSE ARE TRUMP’S VOTES.

[Juvenile Bluster]

The next time someone that tells me that if I vote 3rd party I’m voting for [insert whichever side they hate], I’m winding up and kicking them in the groin. Repeatedly.

Oh, and good afternoon.

[flaPjacks]

Go ahead, throw your vote away make my day!

[Juvenile Bluster]

Don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos.

[Los Doyers]

Stealing jesse.in.mb’s jokes, eh? Despicable.

[Juvenile Bluster]

It’s usually me or BiMonSciFiCon that makes the Simpsons references around here!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Simpsons? That’s 75% me!

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

I try to do my part. See below.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You misspelled Missoura.

[RBS]

I think 80% of my comments last year were Simpsons and Seinfeld references. Or complaining about no English language Simpsons clips.

[robc]

It used to be me, but then they put in registraton. If I cant post as the proper character, I aint bothering.

[jesse.in.mb]

Pft. Some of us at least include appropriate image macros from the episode.

[some guy]

I still don’t understand why we have to build a drone bomber to aim at a goat-herder I never even heard of.

[Ammy520]

My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do..

Clik This Link inYour Browser….

? ? ? ? http://www.WorkPost30.Com

[Bill Dalasio]

The funniest part about the whole matter is the same assholes who pull out that claim are the same assholes who do everything they can to shut you out of the party conversation. I’ve had the same guys who told me “The Republican party is a conservative party! Libertarians have their own party!” turn around and bitch, piss and moan at me about how the Libertarians are just spoilers for voters who should be Republicans. It’s batshit crazy.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hi.

[UnCivilServant]

Gary Johnson appeals to Blue Collar democrats?

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Hello

[Sevo]

Well, the nut-case wanted a criminal investigation at Chipolte, but this isn’t what he had in mind:
“Chipotle is facing a federal criminal investigation”
[?]
“A federal grand jury subpoena means prosecutors are gathering evidence to present it to a grand jury, which will decide if there is enough evidence to indict Chipotle on unspecified charges.”
http://www.businessinsider.com…..ion-2016-1
“Antibiotic-Free Meat Business Is Booming, Thanks To Chipotle”
http://www.npr.org/sections/th…..o-chipotle
Well, not so much anymore, but maybe this has something to do with the problem

[commodious spittoon]

I wonder what the mens rea requirement for unspecified charges is.

Ha! Ha! I keed. Mens rea is a dead letter.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Did you just call me a nut-case?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

That would be too polite.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I like you. Do you like me?

[ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Is this a trap?

/appeals to Reasonoids.

[jesse.in.mb]

Don’t be silly. How could that be a trap?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Yeah like I’m gonna trust a gay Californian.

[Pat (PM)]

Is there some other kind?

[Los Doyers]

Is there some other kind?

Best watch that mouth, boy, or you can cry to someone else when your avocados and almonds increase a hundredfold in price.

[jesse.in.mb]

Umm, ok.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Sigh.

You know I was KIDDING, right?

I blame Playa.

[jesse.in.mb]

Oh, I know. The execution was iffy though.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Really?

Okay.

Cool.

[Old Man With Candy]

I like you. Do you like me?

Only your feet.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I’m moisturizing them for you right now.

[Jerryskids]

Isn’t gathering evidence for unspecified charges otherwise known as “a fishing expedition” AKA a general warrant?

[Jerryskids]

HA! Just read the NPR piece where they tout the growth of the organic meat industry – and they cite Hyatt using Meyer Natural Angus as their meat supplier. Meyer Natural Angus supplied Whole Foods (and several other outlets) some of that natural beef chock-full of them naturally-occurring e colis a while back, several years before the NPR piece in fact. Seems like NPR might have noted that fact.

What’s surprising is that Whole Foods didn’t know Meyer Natural Angus had switched processing plants. This isn’t a simple oversight, since Whole Foods has long audited the slaughterhouse facilities from which it is supplied. To switch plants without being informed would undermine its quality control system (and potentially its protocols on humane animal treatment)

Yep – locally sourcing from small producers sounds wonderful, but it’s a logistical nightmare trying to keep an eye on all those different suppliers. It ain’t all unicorns and rainbows.

[EMD]

Unspecified charges are the government’s favorite kind.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The White House says there’s no evidence North Korea detonated a hydrogen bomb.

Wake the president when they bring their A-bomb game.

[Citizen X]

There’s no need to wake him. He’ll find out about it from the newspaper in good time.

[PapayaSF]

Oh, it’s only a tritium-enhanced A-bomb, and not an H-bomb! Phew, for a moment there I was worried!

And by the way, wasn’t there some sort of Clinton-era foreign policy triumph involving North Korea’s nuclear program? I guess that didn’t work out, huh? But I’m sure the Iran nuclear foreign policy triumph will be fine….

[Medical Physics Guy]

I heard it was weaponized Lemmium

[commodious spittoon]

They’ll get the bomb and finally become the regional player the administration always knew they could be. They’ll balance out Israel and help to shore up all those failing states into satellite actors for the Shia cause.

[commodious spittoon]

Meant to add: What could go wrong?

[PapayaSF]

Word is that the Saudis financed the Pakistan nuke program, with the understanding that they could get some if they ever asked. Once Iran has nukes, they will ask.

[commodious spittoon]

I wonder whether the Nobel committee will consider rescinding the lightbringer’s award once nukes have proliferated across the Middle East.

[PapayaSF]

You so funny.

[Private Chipperbot]

The White House says there’s no evidence North Korea detonated a hydrogen bomb.

So, it’s not a big deal if it was just a regular ole nuke?

[Tonio]

It is, in the sense that they have enough fissionable material to waste on testing – or at least want us to think they have others in reserve. But it’s not a big deal in the sense that they are already known to have 1940’s A-bomb technology.

[Unicorn Abattoir]

When the White House makes a claim, the opposite is usually correct. (If you like your doctor…ISIS is the JV Team/contained…)

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

They want more food aid. Get out your wallets.

[Pat (PM)]

New York woman finds snake frozen to windshield

NEW YORK, Jan. 6 (UPI) — A New York news personality was disgusted after finding a snake frozen to the windshield of her car.

ABC New York traffic reporter Heather O’Rourke posted photos of the snake to her Facebook page, stating that she discovered the petrified reptile while preparing to drive her daughter to swim practice.

“As I was driving my daughter’s swim team car pool last night, I realized there was a snake frozen to my windshield,” she wrote.

O’Rourke also stated that she was so disgusted by the snake that she refused to remove it from the windshield before driving the vehicle.

[kbolino]

O’Rourke also stated that she was so disgusted by the snake that she refused to remove it from the windshield before driving the vehicle.

… apparently the lives of the other people on the road were not that important.

[Medical Physics Guy]

She was a MEDIA PERSONALITY. Her not being grossed out is a concern far above the lives of the plebes.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

ABC New York traffic reporter Heather O’Rourke

Wait….the dead girl from the Poltergeist movies? I wondered what she’s been up to!

[commodious spittoon]

She died at the age of 12 of cardiac arrest and septic shock caused by a misdiagnosed intestinal stenosis in February 1988.

Jeez. Way to bring the mood down.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Hey, she didn’t let it slow her down, and found new work in the local news market.

Glass half full.

[commodious spittoon]

Don’t call it a comeback! Actually, do.

[Free Society]

She died at the age of 12 of cardiac arrest and septic shock caused by a misdiagnosed intestinal stenosis in February 1988.

So Carol Anne did go into the light.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Yes, finally. It also appears that her fear is less snakes, and more worms.

[Certified Public Asshat]

traffic reporter Heather O’Rourke

Trying to create her own traffic reports I suppose.

[The Last American Hero]

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING CAR!

/actual quote

[Rich]

O’Rourke also stated that she was so disgusted by the snake that she refused to remove it from the windshield before driving the vehicle

with her eyes closed.

[some guy]

She was so disgusted by it that she… chose to drive around with it in the windowshield where she was constantly looking at it, rather than take 30 seconds to remove it so she’d never have to see it again.

TV personality logic at its best.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Where is the snake now? I’ll take it. Reasons.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

she discovered the petrified reptile

I don’t think that word means what you think it means, Mr. Uria.

[Pan Zagloba]

If it were Florida, or South Australia, I could believe there was a basilisk on the loose.

[Pat (PM)]

Family upset with Warwick PD’s Facebook post about arrested teen

WARWICK, R.I. ? Warwick detectives spotted a crime in their own parking lot.

They claim two teenagers had taken the hubcaps off a marked police car and were trying to steal more equipment from it when they were busted around 7 p.m. on Sunday night.

Police arrested 18-year-old Shawn Bartis and a 17-year-old, who they did not name because he’s not an adult.

“Shawn is a good kid,” Bartis’ older brother, Joe, told NBC 10 News. “He’s still in high school. He made a mistake. Shawn has an obsession with certain things.”[…]

Police wrote about the incident, posted Bartis’ mug shot, and added a famous line from the movie Forrest Gump: “stupid is as stupid does.”

“Saying he’s stupid – you don’t do things like that. You don’t say things like that. It’s totally wrong what they did,” Joe told NBC 10.

After some backlash online, the Warwick Police Department deleted the Gump quote from their post and wrote, “In the interest of not besmirching a young man for his mistake, the picture and jocularity has been removed.”

[Fist of Etiquette]

In the interest of not besmirching a young man for his mistake, the picture and jocularity has been removed.

Police have always dicking with their customers. Social media has made it too easy for them to carelessly say to the world what they’ve been saying to each other for years.

[Ted S.]

In theory, we’re their bosses, not their customers.

I’ll stop laughing now….

[some guy]

We’re not even their customers. Customers at least gain some benefit from the interaction.

[PapayaSF]

Eh, I see nothing wrong with the cops mocking a stupid criminal that way.

[kbolino]

Yeah, it’s just that new professionalism at work.

[PapayaSF]

I see it as low-level, socially-based informal law enforcement. Not every infraction or crime should necessarily be dealt with by the laws on the books. I do not mean that cops should be beating up people in alleys or whatever, just that a little social shaming is not unwarranted at times. It’s a low-cost way of getting the message out, and I think in line with libertarian principles.

[Libertarian]

“Shawn is a good kid,” Bartis’ older brother, Joe, told NBC 10 News. “He’s still in high school. He made a mistake. Shawn has an obsession with certain things.”[…]

You keep saying “good kid,” but I don’t think that means what you think it means.

[Tonio]

That phrase is uniformly used by the defenders of demonstrably not-good kids, and that’s generally understood.

[PapayaSF]

That, or: “He was turning his life around!”

[OneOut]

He was gonns start college this fall.

So pay me.

/michael brown’s mom

[commodious spittoon]

You know what probably has more staying power for future employers than the Warwick PD facebook page…? Splashing it across the rest of the internet in outrage.

Well, that and his eventual conviction.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Cops desperately need a return policy.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A new bill in Missouri would have police collect data on perceived sexual orientation…

The cops get to go back to doing what they did all through high school: Calling you a fag.

[Medical Physics Guy]

perceived sexual orientation

What could go wrong.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

I’m writing up my report on the last stop. Would you agree that the driver looked “like a total queermo,” or merely “kinda faggy”?

[Medical Physics Guy]

check the “say no more” box and the “know wha’ I mean” box as well

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You must a been in the AV club.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Also, fag’s got nothing to do with sexual orientation; a fag’s someone who won’t go out and beat up queers with ya.

/George Carlin

[Pat (PM)]

Pizza Hut Employees Caught On Tape Taking Celebratory Bong Hits

Two Pizza Hut employees in Cypress, California, apparently rang in the New Year, not with a gong, but with a bong.

Video uploaded to LiveLeak.com shows a dank-happy duo taking huge rips off a foot-long water pipe on New Year’s Eve.[…]

Although pizza is very popular with stoners, Pizza Hut apparently doesn’t like the idea of employees getting baked while baking pizzas.

The bong-huffing employees have not been identified, but after the video went viral they were fired, according to Eater.com.

[Fist of Etiquette]

…Pizza Hut apparently doesn’t like the idea of employees getting baked while baking pizzas.

For obvious, inventory-related reasons.

[Citizen X]

“Dude, we just ate, like, ALL the pepperoni.”

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

“Whoa, dude.”

/Pulls out mushrooms.

[Pan Zagloba]

Was one of them called Jim Anchover?

[Tonio]

Nice.

[Pan Zagloba]

Seriously, can’t you just see The Onion editorial?

[Mr Drew]

Somehow the funniest thing about this to me was the name of the source website: Eater.com

[commodious spittoon]

I barely knew ‘er!

[coloraDOOM]

Don’t get caught

But really, does pizza Hut think the rest of their employees aren’t high? When I worked at one I think I was the only one who didn’t get high at work. Almost every restaurant I can think of is majority stoner. Waiters might not, but the busboy? He’s been high since he woke up.

[commodious spittoon]

Speaking of pizza and baking, in honor of the H&R commentariat I made a tomato sauce, fried up some sausage with mushroom and red onion, grated a ton of mozzarella, combined it all over bowtie pasta and baked it. Pizza casserole.

[EMD]

No worries. It was just oregano.

[Yusef Adama]

Hi, I’m early for once

[Fist of Etiquette]

And this is what you do with it.

[Yusef Adama]

I posted with 8 comments and end up down here?
I’m not Canadian, I’m Californian,
RECOUNT!!!!

[UnCivilServant]

If you were proper early, you’d be on the AM Links.

[jesse.in.mb]

AM Links are an east coast conspiracy. WE WILL NOT SUBMIT.

[Ted S.]

Meh. I’m already at work by 6AM.

[Pan Zagloba]

YOU HAVE MY AXE!

[some guy]

Proper early is in the couple of pre-AM links articles that immediately die at 0900.

[Pat (PM)]

Founder of Where White People Meet dating site insists he isn’t racist because he dated a black woman

A man who founded a dating site just for white people says he is not racist – because he once dated a black woman.

Where White People Meet was dreamt up by former used car salesman Sam Russell after he saw a gap in the market.

The site, which launched last week with a massive billboard, has already stirred up a lot of controversy.

But Mr Russell says he is only interested in what he sees as promoting equality.

He told the Washington Post : “The last thing in the world I am is racist.

“I dated a black woman once. I helped raise a young black man.

“I just believe it is hypocrisy to say ‘one group can do this, but another can’t.”

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

“I just believe it is hypocrisy to say ‘one group can do this, but another can’t.”

OMFG RACIST SHIT

[jesse.in.mb]

See, Los Doyers!?

This shit’s gonna take off, be a WhereWhitePeopleMeet hipster and join up early.

[Los Doyers]

Sorry, one drop rule.

*swigs mezcal*

[Irish ?s ESB]

If you want to meet white people, all you have to do is go to a Cubs game or a Whole Foods.

[Citizen X]

Or a campground, or the stage at a Democratic debate.

[Libertarian]

Or the natatorium at the summer olympics.

[Free Society]

or the stage at a Democratic debate.

If you exclude the strangely diverse group of randoms standing behind the podium.

[UnCivilServant]

I don’t want to meet the kind of people who shop at WholeFoods.

[some guy]

I went to a whole foods once. It’s a great place if you like narrow isles and paying triple.

[Free Society]

I went to buy some artisnal cheese and I figured out real quick why things cost so much there when I saw about 10 people standing behind the cheese counter…cutting cheese.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Did you also cut the cheese?

/classy

[Free Society]

Only with my teeth

[gaoxiaen]

How did you reverse your digestive system?

[coloraDOOM]

The second day I was in Boulder, my roommate and I went to whole foods. 2 seconds inside and I hear a super boulder lady, maybe 25, tell her boyfriend “it looks good, but do they have it in organic?” In the highest, most hipster-hippie voice. I burst out laughing as I walked between them.

[Free Society]

“No, I’m sorry this item only comes in silicate.”

[Brett L]

Wine bars

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Or the Gap.

[Los Doyers]

Dude, Anthropologie.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Stuff White People Like

[flaPjacks]

White People. Ugh such a hateful hateful phrase.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I’m more cream white myself.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Zinc oxide.

[Rich]

“White, or Off White?”

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I JUST SAID CREAM.

[EMD]

In the white room.
With black curtains.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I dated a black woman once. I helped raise a young black man.

Only black Nixon could go to white China.

[Florida Man]

I once paid a black stripper with a coupon, so I’m good on the not racist thing.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

But not good on the cheapskate thing.

[Florida Man]

Oh GOG no!

[Winston]

“I just believe it is hypocrisy to say ‘one group can do this, but another can’t.”

Considering how the “anti-racists” are increasingly heading towards “thinking solely in terms of race is good unless you are white since they suck”, “discrimination and segregation are good when not used by whites” and “all groups are equal except whites who are terrible” more white people having this attitude (again) is not surprising.

[lap83]

Racists shouldn’t self-segregate…they should mix and mingle with the ones they hate! (hmm, catchy) Is that the idea?

[flaPjacks]

Yep. Only date people you hate. It’s a winning strategy.

[Free Society]

I don’t think you hate blacks because you have an in-group preference or simply don’t find them attractive.

[lap83]

I don’t think so either, but I was taking the other side to it’s logical conclusion. They think that dating site is for racists…so the solution is to have the racists join the non-racist dating sites?

[Free Society]

I wonder if the SPLC has ever sued to make the KKK integrate. That’d be a fun news cycle.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

From the site itself:

Can anyone join?

Where White People Meet is open to anyone 18 years of age or older. You may also join regardless of race, color or religion.

So, that a tort of some kind (a la Stoner’s Pot Palace)?

[EMD]

Isn’t FarmersOnly.com the same thing?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Although the controversial billboard depicts a smiling white couple, Russell insists that anyone over 18 may join, regardless of race or ethnicity. He added: “If you’re a black man who prefers to date white women, this might be a good option.”

More mes. What’s the problem?

[EMD]

But are they thick white women?

[commodious spittoon]

“I dated a black woman once. I helped raise a young black man.

Notice the past tense. He’s an honorary black dad.

*ducks, scurries out of room*

[Fist of Etiquette]

…whose attorneys argued prosecutors “doubled up” tax and criminal charges.

How else were they going to force a plea agreement?

[Pat (PM)]

Firm to pay up after making workers clock out for bathroom

PHILADELPHIA (AP) ? A Pennsylvania company that publishes business newsletters will pay about $1.75 million to thousands of employees who had to clock out while going on short breaks, including for the bathroom.

A federal judge has given the U.S. Department of Labor and the Malvern-based company, American Future Systems Inc., until Thursday to submit proposals on how to manage the payment process, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported (http://bit.ly/1Jr39Tc ).

The bill includes back pay and damages to 6,000 employees who worked at offices in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Ohio between July 2009 and July 2013.

The Department of Labor filed a lawsuit in November 2012, claiming the company violated the federal Fair Labor Standards Act because employees weren’t earning the minimum wage? $7.25 per hour ?when the company required them to clock out for breaks.

“No worker should have to face the choice: Do I take a bathroom break, or do I get paid?” said Adam Welsh, an attorney at the U.S. Department of Labor’s Philadelphia office.

The law doesn’t require companies to give workers personal breaks. But if it does offer breaks, it must pay workers for them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The law doesn’t require companies to give workers personal breaks. But if it does offer breaks, it must pay workers for them.

I can see a possible negative consequence to this ruling.

[kbolino]

Yeah, are they really arguing that the company can stop you from shitting?

It seems to me like this is an intentionally disingenuous interpretation of the law in order to fuck with employers more in the future.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Go one step further… Remove the restroom and put a 5 gal. pail under every desk.

/HR Department

[Juice]

Idiocracy is well on its way.

[Los Doyers]

Not getting paid to poop? This is not the America I fought for.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You didn’t fight for shit.

[Rich]

“No worker should have to face the choice: Do I take a bathroom break, or do I get paid?”

Right on! Free diapers for every worker!

[Pat (PM)]

This Day in History

1540 – King Henry VIII of England married his 4th wife, Anne of Cleves.

1759 – George Washington married Martha Custis.

1838 – Samuel Morse gave the first public demonstration of the telegraph.

1912 – New Mexico became the 47th state in the United States.

1919 – Former president Theodore Roosevelt died in Oyster Bay, N.Y.

1987 – University of California astronomers first witnessed the birth of a galaxy that contained 1 billion stars.

1994 – Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan clubbed on leg by men including husband of rival skater Tonya Harding.

[UnCivilServant]

#4, there’s no such thing a a ‘New’ Mexico.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

And 47th? Fuck that. I’ll be cold in the ground before I recognize Missouri!

[Mr Drew]

…Grandpa Simpson?

[some guy]

But the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.

[kbolino]

Does the source of these dates account for the switchover from “Old Style” to “New Style” in the mid-1700s?

[Animal]

Yeah, but Tonya now has that bitchin’ gig on “World’s Dumbest.”

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Let’s play Kerrigan or Harding.

Who would you?

[Pan Zagloba]

Pre- or Post- Queen of Blades Kerrigan?

[Winston]

Vanishing like at the end of Star Trek: the Motion Picture?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

We’re getting, erm, too technical.

[Pat (PM)]

Then or now? (this is important)

[Ted S.]

Get Oksana Baiul drunk.

[AlmightyJB]

Sure why not

[EMD]

The ‘get’ is superfluous.

[AlmightyJB]

Nadia Comaneci

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Having seen part of the Harding sex vid, I think she’d be a much better time.

/Something about riding a moped…

[AlmightyJB]

“Having seen part of the Harding sex vid”

Sometimes it’s better to quit while you’re ahead.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Bobarian finished the video early for some reason.

I’ve seen the whole thing. She’s got skills.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Bobarian finished the video early for some reason.

I got skills, too!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Yes

[Aloysious]

Johnson also espoused eliminating all individual income, corporate, and payroll taxes, and getting rid of the IRS.

Vote Gary Johnson early, vote Gary Johnson often.

[Pat (PM)]

Yeah, we can reinvest that part of the budget into gay wedding cake enforcement.

[jesse.in.mb]

The White House says there’s no evidence North Korea detonated a hydrogen bomb.

Aww, this brings me back. I moved to Korea right around the time his father was testing (or faking testing) nuclear weaponry. And this was the theme music for my move.

[brady949]

Roy Moore is a fuckmook.

[Citizen X]

Rudy Ray Moore is the superior Moore.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Bad motherfucker named Dolemite!

[Rt. Hon. Judge Woodrow Chipper]

Ray Moore IS “Dolewhite”.

[AlmightyJB]

Isnt he the 10 commandments dude?

[Tonio]

Yes.

[Winston]

That was Cecil B. DeMille….

[EMD]

+1 showmanship

[Ted S.]

I’m sorry…. The card says “Moope”.

[Jerryskids]

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore issued an administrative order barring state judges from issuing same-sex licenses.

You really should read the comments – it warms the cockles of my cold dark heart to see so many libs castigating Moore for being too stupid to realize that once the Supreme Court has spoken there is no arguing with their interpretation of the Constitution. I so look forward to never again having to read another goddamn word about Citizen’s United or Heller or Bush v. Gore.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore issued an administrative order barring state judges from issuing same-sex licenses.

Ugh. Judges issue licenses in Alabama? Is there any state that isn’t backward on these things?

[Libertarian]

“Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore issued an administrative order barring state judges from issuing same-sex licenses.”

I hope to god that the word “marriage” was inadvertently left out of that sentence.

[Pat (PM)]

It’s a mistake, you really just have to get a same-sex endorsement on your regular license.

[Libertarian]

“So, Mr. Smith, do you know why I pulled you over?”

[Medical Physics Guy]

It’s like getting an organ donor sticker on your driver’s license

[Pan Zagloba]

it means, if your driver’s licence is male, you have to get a female hunting licence.

If you want more licences, we have to go into some semi-charted territory.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

In less depressing news, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey has nominated libertarian and IJ co-founder Clint Bolick to the AZ Supreme Court.

[brady949]

Jeb! tweeted support of the appointment. Should I be suspicious?

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

JEB! sounds like he’s getting desperate.

[EMD]

It’s Jeb! Not JEB!

He doesn’t go for all the shouting.

[Ted S.]

They’ve got a Governor Douchey?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

They all do.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

They’ve all got one of those.

NY and CA have em in spades.

[Juvenile Bluster]

The White House says there’s no evidence North Korea detonated a hydrogen bomb.

Given that the “earthquake” was the same magnitude as their prior a-bomb tests, it’s pretty likely that’s correct.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

No, not really.

Their stuff is very poorly designed, and more than once in the past, a test has failed to go critical.

The yield doesn’t really tell you anything at all until it’s so large that it has to be thermonuclear.

[rts]

South Miami Cop Shoots Unarmed Local Football Star for No Reason

[Libertarian]

Dog bites man story.

[Rt. Hon. Judge Woodrow Chipper]

Dog bites man, cop shoots untercitizen.

[Ted S.]

There is a reason: FYTW.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Did he yell “Gimmie a reason!!!!”?

[EMD]

I can’t believe No Reason put him up to that.

[Libertarian]

“The CEO of Netflix says his company is a “global TV network” after announcing availability in 130 new countries, bringing its total to more than 190, and every major country except China.”

Wow, that’s almost as many countries as the U.S. has armed forces.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

U.S. has armed forces.

A Global Force for Peace.

[Mazakon]

Veterans Affairs employees broke patient privacy over 10,000 times

Department of Veterans Affairs officials have racked up more than 10,000 privacy breaches since 2011, making the VA the nation’s most prolific violator of laws protecting patients’ personal medical information.

The unnamed employee then posted information from the patient’s file on Facebook and “discussed it with her friends,” the report said.

But even after the breach was reported to the VA, the employee kept her job and was subjected only to a two-week suspension.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Ooooh!!!! I have a great idea! Let’s put the federal government in charge of everyone’s private medical data!

[Doctor Whom]

Model for all of America.

[Libertarian]

I’m confused. I thought that once you joined the military you were the property of the U.S. government. What privacy could there be?

[Ted S.]

How many arrests?

OK, once again I’ll stop laughing.

[Rich]

The unnamed employee then posted information from the patient’s file on Facebook and “discussed it with her friends,” the report said.

FTS. Name names.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

“It’s OK when we do it”

[Atanarjuat]

The Atlantic started a little offshoot called Quartz which shows up on my FB. For the first few weeks I was paying attention, they published legitimately interesting articles, but it seems to have switched to straight Salon-level propaganda.

The subtle sexism of hoodies: Women in Silicon Valley have no idea what to wear to work

OVERT OVERCOMPENSATING
America’s gun problem has everything to do with America’s masculinity problem

…with a bonus pic of pretty much every firearm safety rule being broken.

[Pat (PM)]

The Atlantic started a little offshoot called Quartz which shows up on my FB

… and every ENB article, ever.

[lap83]

The subtle sexism of hoodies: Women in Silicon Valley have no idea what to wear to work

Bullshit. It’s other women that do most of the judging of appearance at work.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Agreed. That’s been the case everywhere I’ve ever worked, attended school, or otherwise frequented.

[jesse.in.mb]

Most of the women I know who work in Silicon Beach tech wear zip up hoodies and a low slung t-shirt with the zipper pulled up to right about where it’s going to maximize the focus on boobs.

Then again, LA is obsessively casual.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What are you wearing right now?

[flaPjacks]

Slacks.

[lap83]

pink shirt and orange shorts

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You know I meant underwear.

[Rich]

debunking the myth that gun ownership is more prevalent in southern states

OK, informal poll. Who has heard of this myth before?

Not I.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

The shithead who wrote the gun article sure does love talking to sociologists and social workers about why other people own guns.

[Brett L]

Are you at work?
Is work inside?

If you answered yes to these, don’t wear a hoodie.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Reminder: Always Sunny returns tonight, with a sequel to the game of games. Prepare to get your ass blasted, bitches.

[AlmightyJB]

Ill be dvr’ing AHS

[Pat (PM)]

The CEO of Netflix says his company is a “global TV network”

I’ll bet his shareholders kind of wish he hadn’t said that specifically, given the regulatory uncertainty surrounding their service.

[Marty Feldman's Eyes]

Can’t speak for shareholders but as a subscriber, it pisses me off to hear them say this as it shows they are more interested in expanding the places that they offer their shitty selection than expanding their selection.

[EMD]

I like a lot of the original programming but the non-original library is woeful.

[Juice]

Well, the completely overvalued piece of shit stock went up 10% today.

[John]

http://www.washingtonexaminer……le/2579620

I do not believe this for a moment. But if it were true and Hillary did get indicted, what then? I am not sure she would stop her campaign. And I think the Democrats might nominate her anyway. Seriously, who else is there?

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

I’m skeptical, but it would be great news if true.

Granted, there are no constitutional prohibitions on being president while in prison, and anyone who still supports Hillary at this point will not be swayed by a mere felony conviction.

[Pan Zagloba]

Is there anything preventing her from pardoning herself if she wins?

[John]

Even under indictment she would command a huge number of Democratic votes. The Democrats are that far gone.

[Libertarian]

“…anyone who still supports Hillary at this point will not be swayed by a mere felony conviction.”

Best line I’ve read on the Internet today.

[Rich]

Yep. Beautiful.

[Brett L]

Maybe. It’s pretty obvious to me that the rank-and-file people at the FBI believe their own stories about being real law enforcement agents and are pissed at the obvious political tampering. I think people are not as afraid of the Clintons as rhey used to be. I think she will never see an indictment except like her husband did, as a voluntary plea deal.

[PapayaSF]

I am still convinced that her health is going to be a big issue. She looks old, bloated, and tired. Some Huma emails revealed that she’s often confused. Have her health records been made available? I’m not sure she’s going to make it through the campaign, much less serve a full term in office.

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Scott Adams also thinks she’s hiding a major health problem. I would not be surprised if that proves to be true.

[lap83]

That would make me hate her even more. How brain damaged do you have to be to spend your time running for president instead of, I don’t know, spending time with family if you were battling a major health problem. How can politics be that important?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I can think of at least one member of her family that doesn’t like spending time with her.

[EMD]

Chels puts on a bad, er, good face though.

[PapayaSF]

Power is very important to some people.

[Tonio]

Maybe that’s why she’s avoiding the press. If she is in the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s she’s going to eventually slip up in front of an open mic. Hopefully they won’t bury that.

Partisanship aside, we do not need another senile president.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

If she’s hiding a health issue and not disclosing it this is serious and wrong on a few levels. Not too mention you can’t pull that crap with employers lest you get into serious trouble.

[Winston]

Worked for FDR and JFK…

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

And Bartlett

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

“Partisanship aside, we do not need another senile president.”

Or do we? Preferably one that can’t even hold a pen.

[Winston]

Edith Wilson anyone?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E…..presidency

[Derp-o-Matic 5000]

Ehhh…Would

[PapayaSF]

Really?

[Rt. Hon. Judge Woodrow Chipper]

She been demented since Bill ran for public office.

[ant1sthenes]

What, like claim she was a robot invented in a garage, or just wander off for a while in the middle of a debate?

[Jerryskids]

Have my health records been made available? Of course they have been made available. I’ve gone far beyond what was required in releasing all of my records. I’ve been the most transparent candidate in history in releasing my health records and frankly, I’m getting tired of answering these same vicious smears and rumors about my health engineered by a vast white-wing..uh, right-wing conspiracy bent on inventing fake scandals in their War on Women. And now somehow insinuating that women are unfit to hold high office due to, you know, women’s health issues as if we women don’t know misogyny when we see it. You, sir, should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking such ugly hate speech would be tolerated in this forum.

[flaPjacks]

Bravo

[Slingity Schlonge]

She’ll get Schlonged!

[Mr Drew]

Wouldn’t it be pretty to think so?
Neva’ gonna’ happen.

[Anomalous]

I’m sure that if she were indicted and still got the nomination, the GOP candidate would show restraint and not mention it at every chance.

Thank you, tip your waitresses.

[Rich]

“And, it’s going to come to a head, I would suggest, in the next 60 days.”

But, enough about Bill.

[Juice]

The evidence against the Clinton staff and the secretary is so overwhelming at this point that if, in fact, she chooses not to charge Hillary, they will never be able to charge another federal employee with the negligent handling of classified information,” he added.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

*breathe*

good one, man

[Atanarjuat]

dramatic camera angles and slo-mo really make all the difference

[Slingity Schlonge]

Diamond Dave been schlonged!

[Libertarian]

LOVE the audio to that. Woo!

[EMD]

Guy was remarkably flexible.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Koko the Gorilla has a Message for Gullible People on Facebook

That chimp’s alright. High five.

[Pat (PM)]

It’s “oo”, as in “oo oo ah ah”.

[Libertarian]

That’s the sound of the men working on the chain gang.

[Enough About Palin]

2 Minneapolis officers sent to hospital after brawling with MMA fighter

[jesse.in.mb]

Oh, you were referenced earlier in a discussion about Dora the Explorer.

[Enough About Palin]

Ten grand, baby. Ten grand.

[Slingity Schlonge]

They got schlonged!

[Medical Physics Guy]

That’s some way to treat your own grandfather.

[Crusty Juggler]

Proper use of a taser? Way to go, officers.

[Juvenile Bluster]

TSA grunt gives 10 year old girl extended pat down, TSA spokes-idiot says nothing’s wrong

The amount of shit that people are willing to take from the TSA because safety.

I fucking hate that I had to spend $85 to get PreCheck. It’s worth it, but it’s complete bullshit and should be default security.

[Ted S.]

The 10-year-old didn’t comply with a lawful order.

[Juice]

2-minute-long full-body pat-down in which a female TSA agent touched the girl’s buttocks and groin repeatedly

Why repeatedly?

[Rich]

“Sometimes this shakes out the goodies contraband.”

[Enough About Palin]

Ask Old Man With Candy.

[Old Man With Candy]

Sorry, I was busy applying for a TSA job.

[Juice]

Payne said he has not made a formal complaint to TSA, but is considering doing so, possibly with the help of an attorney. He said he wanted to see how people responded to the video on social media first, to make sure he wasn’t overreacting.

facepalm

[Rt. Hon. Judge Woodrow Chipper]

It’s just a non-groping tax.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Holy moly, somebody actually traded for Vinny Lecavalier. And gave the Flyers an asset for it.

I’m writing in Ron Hextall for President.

[Private Chipperbot]

Haha. This just popped up on twitter.

Whenever you can acquire 2.5 years of a broken and withered Vincent Lecavalier you just have to do it

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I’m guessing the Kings wanted Schenn and Vinny was a skilled – diminished – player with size and depth to plug in.

[Juice]

A new bill in Missouri would have police collect data on perceived sexual orientation and religion as well as race, gender, disability, English language proficiency, and national origin.

Progs should love this. They’ll know exactly who is privileged and who is oppressed.

[Juice]

Oh shit. I just read the article. They’re the ones that did it. Oh…um…yeah.

[AlmightyJB]

I’d have fun answering those questions. Im sure all of them would reference pork in some way.

[Rich]

“Oh, I thought it was how the perp perceived *me*!”

[Hyperbolical (wadair)]

OT:Governor Greg Abbott released the following statement in response to President Obama’s executive actions imposing gun control measures across the country.

“The Bill of Rights was added as a specific safeguard to prevent the federal government from denying Americans those guaranteed rights,” said Governor Abbott. “Today, the President trampled the purpose and substance of the Bill of Rights by unilaterally imposing Second Amendment restrictions. After failing to pass gun control measures through Congress, the President is yet again resorting to unilateral executive action in place of the democratic process. Despite the President’s latest attempt to undermine our liberty, Texas will take every action to protect the Second Amendment rights of law-abiding citizens.”
http://gov.texas.gov/news/press-release/21803/

[Pan Zagloba]

Texas will take every action to protect the Second Amendment rights of law-abiding citizens

Is he threathening war? Sounds to me like he’s threatening war. Y U NO APPLY TERROR LAW TO HIM?!

[Pan Zagloba]

Spiked has an article about Holocaust-denying idiot losing appeal to European Court of Human Rights.
Article is an excellent, full-throated defense of free speech, as I’m used to from Spiked. Comments, on the other hand… They make me proud of H&R Commenters, even PB.

[Crusty Juggler]

I’m proud of you, too.

[Old Man With Candy]

One of them was actually funny, almost HyR-worthy.