A.M. Links: Putin Praises Trump, Friend of San Bernardino Killers to Face Criminal Charges, Ash Carter Used Personal Email for Government Business


  • Vladimir Putin is a Donald Trump fan. "He's a really brilliant and talented person, without any doubt," Putin declared.

  • Enrique Marquez, the man who bought the rifles used by Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik in the San Bernardino attack, will face criminal charges.
  • Hillary Clinton's tax plan has been endorsed by billionaire Warren Buffett.
  • Defense Secretary Ash Carter has admitted to using a private email address for government business during his first months in office.
  • "The much-hated pharmaceutical entrepreneur who jacked up the price of a life-saving AIDS pill by more than 5,000% was arrested for securities fraud."
  • Got your tickets? Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens tonight.

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  1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens tonight.

    More like farce, am I right people?

    1. Are you doing a stand up act?

      1. And what’s the deal with Sandpeople? Single file? The way they queue up they might as well be Brits!

        1. So two Jawas walk into a bar…


          /hunh hunh hunh

        3. White guy drive a car like THIS *dorky uptight driving*

          Sandperson drive a car like THIS *single file*

    2. Hello.

      “The AP Stylebook just changed the meaning of ‘global warming’ with one amazing edit.”

      Read. Weep. Reread and cry for mankind.


      The shocking ignorance and stupidity is unfathomable. Evil really.

      1. They have so few victories in battle to save Gaia.

        1. I think at this point they just bow to Thulsa Doom.

      2. Next: Chocolate ration to increase.

      3. Yeah, wow. The news media wasn’t already biased enough toward the “consensus” view?

        Some people do exist who you probably could call “deniers” of the science. But there are plenty of proper skeptics out there with good and reasonable doubts about how climate science is carried out, particularly in regard to temperature records and the value of the current computer models. I probably fall somewhere near Bailey. I buy that people are probably having some significant effect on climate, but don’t buy at all that the proposed solutions will do more good than harm.

        1. You’ll have to define ‘significant effect’ for me Zeb. I’ve read good sources where they argue man’s impact, while not dismissed, is negligible preferring to take the prudent approach of gathering more evidence before concluding anything in cement.

          Science is not ‘settled’.

          1. No, it’s certainly not settled. I think the claims that the consensus is definitely true and correct are nuts. We are just barely starting to understand how climate works. It’s very arrogant to claim that they have it all figured out.

            By significant I mean enough to possibly change some long term weather patterns and melt some glaciers a bit faster. I very much doubt that there will be any kind of disaster. I don’t think we need to do anything about it except to accept that things change and that we need to adapt to those changes. Whether or not people are a major driver of climate change, climate changes and people have adapted to climate change before and will do so even more effectively in the future.

            1. This is the extent I’m willing to go as well.

            2. A trending story on the Facebook yesterday was about how scientists are now predicting that some of the Alaskan permafrost might start to thaw sooner than expected – where “sooner than expected” means “maybe in 85 years or so.” Of course, that part was buried…

              1. It’s easy to make predictions about things that will happen after almost everyone currently alive will be dead.

      4. Of course they did. Because fuck it, they are team members first.

      5. tamales.

      6. Upworthy’s take on this is retarded. I hate the AP, but these style changes are just not what they are acting like. “Climate denier” and “climate skeptic” are shitty phrases that are ambiguous-to-meaningless and make for terrible journalism. And the change re: global warming vs. climate science still expresses a preference for the more scientific term.

        1. Not really, climate change has been happening for some 4 billion years and will continue for a few billion more, it’s inevitable. Climate change includes the various ice ages which can hardly be referred to as global warming. Global warming as currently used refers to the change since the end of the little ice age.

          1. Hence….CLIMATE CHANGES!

            Playing with words is fun.

      7. The Associated Press prefers ‘climate change doubter’ or ‘someone who rejects mainstream science.

        Mainstream science is what exactly? Consensus?

        1. Given that they ostensibly reject mainstream science, should we not call them science hipsters?

        2. Galileo once rejected mainstream science. Look at where we would be if he had not been suppressed.

          1. Good point. Keep looking at the stars…

        3. “Mainstream science” is the “science” practiced by all those “scientists” receiving those sweet government grants to promote this crap.

        1. Well, i’m convinced!

      8. “Basically the AP has officially and objectively updated our language…”

        Thom, you keep using this word ‘objectively’…

      1. That boy ain’t right…

        /Hank Hill

    3. If I had a rubber hose…

  2. Air India employee dies after being sucked into plane engine at airport

    (CNN)An engineer at Mumbai airport died after being sucked into the engine of an Air India plane, the company said.

    The deadly incident happened late Wednesday as the Airbus A319 was being towed backward from the parking bay in preparation for taxiing out, said Anil Mehta, an Air India official.

    The engineer, Ravi Subramanian, was standing near the landing gear under the plane’s nose as he supervised the process, Mehta told CNN.

    1. Also, how come all the ads today on Reason appear to be busty Down’s Syndrome chicks selling t-shirts?

      1. Wow, this showed up in the wrong place.

        1. Either way, I have two words for you: Adblock Plus.

          1. I would like to value Reason’s sponsors, I really would, but they’ve made this site virtually unusable without ad- and social media-blocking add-ons.

            1. I think of it like a libertarian litmus test. I block the ads and donate. Fair is fair.

            2. Until recently, I’ve found that FlashBlocker is all I need for the site to be useful. No stupid animated video sending my CPU into conniptions but the ads still display.

              Unfortunately, Reason just added some stupid in-line ad that autoplays on the main HR page. Over the last week, I’ve been on video conference calls when all of a sudden the page starts playing some stupid ad and I have to rush to turn it off as everyone on the call stops what they are doing and stare menacingly at me.

              Hey Reason- people respond to incentives. Keep this shit up and I will definitely block all your ads.

              1. people respond to incentives

                A market opportunity for Super School News!


          2. I’m not sure that was a complaint… Maybe it was a request?

      2. That’s what I get everyday.

      3. I have two words for you: Adblock Plus. I can’t imagine how you can use this site without it.

        1. Oh good, the post that timed out showed up too.

    2. Okay, who immediately thought of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ and ‘Die Hard 2’?

      1. ‘Deep Throat’?

        1. /violently flips loonie subway token at Bobarian.

    3. How do you get sucked into an engine under the wing of you are standing near the nose gear of a plane that is backing up?

      1. There is a video on youtube of a US Navy man being sucked through a jet engine on board an aircraft carrier.

        He was unhurt.

        I think it’s real but I don’t see how.

        1. If I recall he was near the intake and jet fighter intakes entrances have a bit of space between them and the turbine blades.

          The question I had was this guy should have her nowhere near the engines of he stayed where they describe him.

  3. Rotherham Witness Says Police Covered Up Child Abuse By Muslim Men
    …In February, the then Communities Secretary Eric Pickles sent a team of five commissioners to take over the executive functions of Rotherham Borough Council, saying it was suffering from “institutionalised political correctness”.

    In August last year, the Jay Report found that 1,400 children had been groomed, trafficked and raped by Asian men in the town but police had failed to intervene due to fears of appearing racist….

    …A member of staff gave Mr Hussain permission to take the girls away in his car as long as they were back by 11pm. He took them to a restaurant and then on the drive back pulled over and made her “perform a sex act” on him and his friends….

    …She said she first met the men when she was living at a children’s home and had informed staff of their behaviour but, as with the first woman, “they just didn’t seem to want to know.”…

    1. Johnny, you apparently didn’t get the memos or the emails, so let me spell it out for you: Reason is not covering this story. Something about something not fitting a narrative something.

      1. Seems to fit the “cops are incompetent, dangerous assholes and retards and you shouldn’t count on the state to protect you” narrative just fine.

        1. You aren’t supposed to mention the bits we all agree on, Nikki. HATE. RAAAAAAGE. YOU FUCKING COSMO COMMIE FAGGOT.

          The most important thing here is division. Never forget our differences, large or trifling.

          1. Never forget our differences, large or trifling

            This is why I like you. Keep the hate alive. #neverforget

          2. Let it flow through you…

        2. Then explain Reason’s non-coverage of this story.

          1. If by non-coverage, you actually mean coverage, then I can explain it.

            1. Now, now, Nikki, you know that the “Why won’t the Reason Cosmotarians write about my pet subject” crowd doesn’t do well with facts.

              1. The cosmotards were silent on it for a long time, and have don’t cover it anywhere near as much as whatever Trump most recently said.

            2. They actually did two posts on the story.

              Yes, that’s coverage alright. Actual no bullshit institutionalized serial rape by “Asian” men against white girls and an active cover-up by cops. Actual crimes were committed by citizens and government agents and no one goes to trial, much less prison.

              Two posts. They really got to the bottom of that one.

              How many posts will we have on Trump today? Someone who actually hasn’t done anything wrong except exercise his rights?

              The difference is – one doesn’t fit their narrative, and one does. Can you guess which one?

              1. Exactly. It’s a huge story which speaks to big issues like institutional corruption, political correctness and Islam. Meanwhile, Reason did approximately 2500 posts on George Zimmerman, an absolute non-issue that only retards were talking about.

                1. Well, the regards that were talking about that were the rest of the press. The writers here do tend to follow the conventional wisdom unless it contradicts one of their hobbyhorses.

              2. Thank you, Restoras.

                NOW TAKE THAT, NIKKI!!

              3. Why is “Asian” in scare quotes?

                And, again, the Rotherham story fits the “narrative” perfectly. Did O’Neill seem to have any trouble writing that piece in the magazine? I don’t think so.

                I think it could get more coverage, but I don’t wonder for a second why Trump is more heavily covered. There’s a presidential primary contest going on and H&R follows the horse race.

                1. Because “asian” has become the PC term for Pakistani crime. It’s not nice to say who’s actually doing this even though it’s coming from one Islamic place in Asia. So they write it as if it’s a bunch of Chinese people or something to leave out the obvious part about the only Asians being a problem the Islamic type.

                  1. Most Asian people in the UK are from India or Pakistan. I may be wrong, but it was my understanding that “Asian” has been used for some time in that way in Britain. And people there think of Indians or Pakistanis when “Asian” is used, where in the US most people would think more of East Asians. To an American it sounds like they are being overly vague, but I don’t think anyone in the UK is in any doubt who they are talking about.

                    1. Most Asian people in the UK are from India or Pakistan.

                      Which begs some questions:

                      (1) Why not refer to them as Indians or Pakistanis?

                      (2) Why refer to them using a term which nobody associates with Indians or Pakistanis, but do associate with Chinese, Japanese, SE Asians, etc.?

                    2. There is also a large population of ethnic Chinese from Hong Kong. Not sure what there percentages are, but “asian” is really imprecise here.

                    3. Deliberately so.

                    4. Exactly right, Suthen.

                    5. Yeah, it’s imprecise. The typical American usage of “Asian” is similarly imprecise, but people use it.

                      As I said, I could be wrong, but I think that the usage is common in Britain and probably isn’t so much of a deliberate obfuscation since everyone there knows what part of Asia the Asians in question are.

                  2. So they write it as if it’s a bunch of Chinese people or something

                    No, jackass, that might be how you interpret it as an American, but no British person would think that.

                    1. I’m glad you can read British minds. I think they should use the term earthlings.

                2. Why is “Asian” in scare quotes?

                  Because the term “Asian” is highly vague, especially in UK diction where it means basically any nationality from China to India to Syria to Kazakhstan.

                  I think it’s not as well covered because it’s not occurring on this side of the pond. But on the other hand it was a massive cover up of a massive crime, that’s only gotten more massive as more evidence was unturned (something like 1400 English children repeatedly raped) and the perpetrators are a protected group that everyone is told “are just like you and me” and they faced no justice due to their status as a protected group.

                  It certainly fits the incompetent cops narrative. It even fits the PC narrative, but it’s the wrong PC narrative for Reason. Reason’s schtick is that Muslims (especially immigrants) are not culturally or ideologically different or incompatible with wider western societies in which they live.

                  Focusing on a story about a PC cover up of crimes committed by Muslim immigrants isn’t really their bag.

                  1. No no no no. Bailey, Gillespie, and Dalmia recently….

                    Oh, wait.

                3. “Reason never covered it!”

                  “Yes, they did.”

                  “Well… well… they ought to have covered it a lot!”

                  Christ on a cracker, y’all, I was being sarcastic upthread.

                  I also think it could get more attention, and this is exactly the right crowd for it. To the left, I believe Reason ought to increase their econ and global current events coverage as well. From where I’m sitting, it would not kill them to drop a wee bit of the college baboonery and give the markets that share of the attention.

                  I do not, hark, decide the problem is that the staff are nationalists who flunked math. Those bastards!

              4. Spot on Restoras.

          2. They wrote like one whole story on it 10 months ago, what do you want! This isn’t like the super racissy racist click boy mega scandal that has 50 stories it’s just a few hundred minor rapes over 16 years.

          3. How many stories would be sufficient, then? Is there new information that needs to be reported? I’m sure there are many things happening in the world at least as bad as the Rotherham thing that Reason is also not covering. They can’t cover everything and their focus is clearly more on American politics and current events with more obvious libertarian tie-ins. The Rotherham is a big deal and should be more of a huge scandal. But I don’t see why Reason in particular should feel obliged to cover it heavily. Outside of the “police are useless and corrupt” angle, there isn’t much of a libertarian angle to the story. Some people committed some horrible criminal acts and the police and community failed to do much about it.

            1. My understanding is the cover-up of the rapes was done by PC bureaucrats. A perversion of the criminal justice system. Seems to be right up Reason’s alley, although admittedly they usually stick to domestic cases.

              But if you look at the way Reason covers other things, they seem to have certain focuses that make it seem as if some issues are more important. For example, any minor update on the CA bullet train gets a new blog post. Rotherham doesn’t get the same treatment. I suspect it is just because it’s in another country. Personally, I find it outrageous enough to warrant being mentioned more frequently. Especially considering Reason’s focus on the fake college rape “epidemic”.

            2. ^This, Zeb. It’s just like when I tried to engage the folks who were against the alleged “ground zero victory mosque” people. When asked how far was far enough (blocks, miles) they refused to engage the question.

            3. There’s a huge libertarian angle but their version of libertarian is bitching about Trans issues and whining that taxpayers won’t pay to ship in refugees. Both get more coverage and both are about as libertarian as handing out welfare checks.

            4. Outside of the “police are useless and corrupt” angle, there isn’t much of a libertarian angle to the story.

              There’s other angles as well.

              First and foremost, of course, would be a more honest discussion of the risks of mass immigration and the ways in which assimilation does or does not happen.

              Second, would be a look at how the PC protection of these rapists was driven in some part by the way that these “Asian” communities are concentrated to capture voting districts via ethnic bloc voting.

              One might also find a libertarian angle or two in the way a disarmed British community apparently felt powerless to defend its children more directly from these predators.

        3. But it conflicts with the “we made them do it” shtick.

        4. And that you should count on the state to import criminals to use their acts as basis for more govt control of non criminals.

          1. The only non-criminals in this country are the ones in charge. Its a very small demographic.

    2. I hope this will lead to a major national examination of conscience over there. Of course, given the way they’ve been going they will probably conclude these incidents were the result of structural racism and they need to redouble their efforts to “welcome” those people.

    3. “…1,400 children had been groomed, trafficked and raped by Asian men in the town but police had failed to intervene due to fears of appearing racist…”

      How many of the people involved in this are still breathing?

      Someone needs to smoke some of these motherfuckers, and I am not talking about the goddamn Pakis.

      1. Well, not only about the goddamn Pakis, anyway.

      2. All of them.

        They’ve already started on procuring new girls.

        And ‘grooming’ has entered the wider lexicon.

        No one is going to do anything–for the same reason Reason barely touched the story. It is vindication for badthink writ large.

        Paki and PC bureaucrat alike will have a good Christmas this year.

  4. Hillary Clinton’s tax plan has been endorsed by billionaire Warren Buffett.

    But what about his poor secretary?

    1. If a Republican president or presidential candidate were taking economic advice from a Wall Street billionaire not on the government payroll as openly as Barry and Hillbot do, the leftwing media and progtards on derpbook would be in hysterics.

      1. Do you overlook the fact that Republican party politicians are progtards?

        1. Your comment is a bit of a non-sequitur, but I usually go with “fascist” or “statist slaver.”

          1. It’s fascists and statist slavers all the way down.

      2. But Buffett is on the government payroll, at least indirectly.

        *mumbles some epithets about estate taxes and life insurance*

        1. Buffet thy name is rent seeker.

      3. see: KOCHTOPUS!

  5. 125) The other day at the Marginal Revolution site there was a post on how the FDA should recognize medical trial results from other countries, getting medicines approved faster. The comments section was full of the site’s resident liberals saying “thalidomide, thalidomide” over and over again. There weren’t even any real arguments, just “Oh, yeah, what about thalidomide?” or about 20 close variations.

    I noticed something similar on a Washington Post article last week, I don’t even remember what it was about, but the answer was “Sandy Hook,” again and again, no real arguments, just a reference.

    It reminded me of the “Darmok” episode of Next Generation. No real attempt at original thought, just repeated references to an important past event that somehow vaguely resembles the current situation. It has the same effect too: it’s impossible for anybody outside the community to communicate with them.

    1. That’s how progtards operate. They all get their talking points from one or two sources and just repeat them over and over again without any critical thought. You see it in news articles, as well. It’s especially embarrassing when they even use the exact same adjectives to describe something.

    2. Dude. Vaccines cause autism. THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED. ALWAYS.

    3. Do they thnk the FDA has never approved any drug that later turned out to be dangerous?

      It’s also a bit funny since left liberals so often think we should be more international and stop all the American exceptionalism stuff.

      1. ^This. Never miss the opportunity to call them out on their hypocrisy.

    4. When the walls came down…

    5. Darmok and Jalad on. the. OCEAN.


      1. Dude that is a total “Shaka, when the walls fell”…

    6. Pfizer and Gilead at Tangara?

      I’m very well versed on the idiotic rules regarding pharma drugs already approved elsewhere. Years. Tens of millions of dollars, if not hundreds of millions, for a drug already approved in the EU. And then people wonder why the drug (especially an orphan drug) ends up being so damn expensive.

      1. Because… corporations? And profits? And, uh, greed? Wait, I said profits already. Um, lobbyists?

        1. GERRYMANDERING!!!

          1. CITIZENS UNITED!!!!!!!

    7. It’s the Little Blue Book in action.

      Reinventing Newspeak ? The Fatal Error at the Heart of The Little Blue Book

      At first blush this seems like a great idea to the passionate person ? they’re sure to win all the arguments if they follow the books recipe! But the book’s recipe is not a recipe for winning arguments, but rather a recipe for preventing the reader from losing arguments ? from being convinced by the person they are arguing with. How? By preventing them from actually being able to consider the opponents’ arguments by removing the opponents’ language from the reader’s brain..

      1. The two best classes from my public school career (such that it was) were Forensics (i.e. Public Speech) and Theory of Knowledge. ToK forced me to examine various philosophies on how facts are established as truths, while the debates in Forensics forced me to argue both sides of a point, seek out compelling facts on either side, and be able to recognize fallacious reasoning. It is noteworthy that these classes forced me to dialogue with teachers and classmates to strengthen my style, whereas every other class was just “Read the book and complete the test”- which could have been done online.

        Forensics is also the greatest asset as I have transitioned into the working world, where I have formulated “Overt’s Theory of Corporate Success” – “A person’s advancement in a large corporation has little to do with results they produce and most to do with how they conduct themselves in meetings.”

    8. The seen and the unseen.

      Bastiat should be fucking required reading.

      1. For every Thalidomide there is a beta blocker.

        Check and mate. Seen vs Unseen, unseen wins hands down.

    9. In 1984, its referred to as ‘duckspeak’

  6. Just in time for your Force Awakens premiere parties

    Star Wars kama sutra books shows droids and bounty hunters in sexual positions

    There’s the Light side, the Dark side and the never-ending quest for balance in the Force – but even through all this, the Star Wars universe still has sexual intercourse.

    Which is where a new kama sutra guide may come in very handy indeed.

    There aren’t many of us who could forget the sight of Princess Leia in the gold bikini, but never fear.

    Instead of the traditional sexualised writhing men and women pictured in the renowned manual of sultry acrobatics, The Extremely Unofficial and Highly Unauthorized Star Wars Kama Sutra contains images of the great and the good of both Imperial Forces and the Rebel Alliance.

    1. These aren’t the roids you’re looking for.

      1. Speak for yourself, sailor.

        1. I can feel your anger. Or is that your finger?

    2. Your Schwartz is bigger than mine!

    3. Is that a light saber in your pocket?

    4. Han shot first, which was really inconsiderate of him.

      1. “It was because you are so damned sexy.”

  7. “He’s a really brilliant and talented person, without any doubt,” Putin declared.

    In Russia, hard blows you.

    1. Yeah, I can see these two being real buddies if Trump is elected.

      I’m trying to figure out what it’s be like. Tango & Cash? Bill & Ted?

      1. Marley & Me?

      2. The Lone Ranger & Tonto?

      3. Pinky and the Brain.

      4. Turner and Hooch?

        1. Karnak: “What’s the rudest thing you can do to a girl in church?”

          (opens envelope for the answer)

          “Turner and Hooch”

          Hiyo !

      5. Ren and Stimpy?

    2. Good thing Putin never said he likes libertarians. Reason would put his epiglottis under a Hitler mustache on the front page.

  8. Irate bank customer pours pot of poop on counters, floor

    NANJING, China, Dec. 16 (UPI) — A dissatisfied customer at a Chinese bank was caught on camera spreading feces on counters and the floor of the facility.

    Police said the 60-year-old woman had an argument with workers at the Agricultural Bank in Nanjing Dec. 8 about some suspected counterfeit currency and she returned to the business the following day with a pot filled with feces.

    CCTV cameras at the bank recorded as the woman dumped excrement from the pot on the bank’s counters and floor.

    1. Yellin is Chinese?

    2. You know, you could have gotten the same message across with DARK chocolate.

      /looks at Fist.

      1. An ample opportunity to post a link to my favorite porn site, http://itsjustchocolate.com.

        It’s a porn site, but it’s just chocolate (and naked ladies).

    3. But was it in the shape of an Aryan mystical symbol?

  9. Obama meets with Michael Bloomberg about gun violence

    President Obama on Wednesday met with former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to discuss gun violence, the White House said.

    Specifically, they discussed ways to keep guns out of the hands of those who should not have access to them and how to help state and local officials address gun violence.

    Immediately following the mass shooting in San Bernardino, California — before it was clear it was an act of terrorism — Mr. Obama forcefully condemned the “pattern” of mass shootings in the United States.

    1. Two progs discussing guns. Yeh, that will end well.

    2. Specifically, they discussed ways to keep guns out of the hands of those who should not have access to them non-government actors and how to help state and local officials address gun violence seize guns from law-abiding citizens.

    3. Did their bodyguards discuss which guns they thought were best?

    4. “…keep guns out of the hands of those who should not have access to them…”

      I have a strong feeling that Obumbles and Bloomturd have a very different idea about who those people are than I do.

  10. Michigan repeals several outdated unenforceable laws

    LANSING, Mich., Dec. 16 (UPI) — The Michigan Senate passed a package of bills which served to repeal several outdated and unenforceable state laws.

    Laws prohibiting cursing in front of women or children, embellishing the national anthem and trespassing in a huckleberry marsh were among over 80 laws repealed.

    Potential penalties for these crimes included a $750 fine for cursing and 90 days in jail or $100 fine for organizing “endurance contests” such as walk-a-thons.

    Michigan Governor Rick Snyder signed off on the bill and supported it as part of an attempt to bring the state’s government up to date.

    Libertarian moment?

    1. Snyder is an awkward nerd.But I respect him, if only for the fact that liberals hate him.

      1. Snyder is an awkward nerd.

        “Awkward nerd” describes the vast majority of hit and run commenters, so you better quickly apologize to them. I am just awkward, so I was not insulted.

        1. I have to apologize to myself then, too? Ok, apology accepted.

            1. well, this is awkward.

          1. You will be receiving the Vulcan Death Grip next time you are in public.

    2. Sounds good.

      “trespassing in a huckleberry marsh”

      But why can’t this be enforced? Sounds like property rights to me.

      1. How does one differentiate a huckleberry marsh from, say, a regular bog that has a single huckleberry bush?

        1. Well, my friend, that’s why you need gov’t regulation! Now it’s going to be anarchy!

        2. How does one differentiate a huckleberry marsh from, say, a regular bog that has a single huckleberry bush?

          a huckleberry hound nose the difference

        3. You’re a daisy if you do.

    3. “organizing “endurance contests” such as walk-a-thons”

      Are walk-a-thons endurance contests? All the ones I’ve ever hear of are like three miles.

      1. Marathons are right out!

      2. You know who else organized an endurance contest?

        1. General Masaharu Homma?

        2. Lisa Sparxxx?

      3. Heh, some of my family members are big on running. They run marathons every couple of months. So about halfway through a fun run one of my nephews just called bullshit on fun runs. They’re not fun.

    4. There is a property north of Midland on the way to Sanford Lake that has billboards and signs on them that read DNR=Damn Near Russia. From what I understand the state wouldn’t let the property owner develop the property because they thought it was a wetland or something. So he ended up erecting those signs and clear cutting every tree… Now it’s a dumpy swamp with tree stumps.

      1. So, I guess he used a woodchipper for the trees, huh …

    5. Michiganders will be your huckleberry.

    6. -1 They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

  11. Castaway Who Survived 14 Months At Sea Sued For Cannibalism Of Shipmate

    A Salvadoran fisherman who survived 438 days lost at sea is now being sued by his dead shipmate’s family over allegations that he ate the man in order to stay alive.

    The family of Ezequiel C?rdoba, who was reported to have starved to death months into the ordeal, is seeking $1 million, reports Fox News Latino, citing El Diario de Hoy.

    Jose Salvador Alvarenga — the world’s longest surviving castaway — has repeatedly denied the accusation.

    1. Wasting meat is a larger crime amongst my people.

    2. I wouldn’t cared if he killed the guy. That is a legitimate my life or yours situation, and I believe it’s moral to try and survive.

      1. Of course it is. But the family wants a payout.

        1. That is an interesting take on the NAP…

          1. They should have drawn straws first.

          2. Is the prospect of starvation a mitigating circumstance?

          3. But the family wants a payout.

            $1 million for a 150 lb man, that’s $6,667 per pound, bone-in. It better have tested better than Kobe beef!

            1. If he died of starvation, he probably weighed half of that. That’s caviar prices.

              1. Hunger is the best sauce?

    3. Jose: ‘No, he tasted more like pork.’

      Lawyer: BUSTED!

    4. I had thought this was allowed under the law of the sea in extreme situations back in the age of sail. The incident “In the Heart of the Sea” is based on had a similar circumstance as I recall from documentaries about it. I wonder if it still the same way.

      Then again, how quickly the surviving man resorted to cannibalism might be an issue.

    5. His body was going to be eaten by one thing or another. It may as well have been his human friend struggling to survive.

      1. Even with a gamy leg ?

  12. A Siberian Town Wants To Elect A Cat As Mayor

    Residents in the Siberian town of Barnaul have developed some serious cat-titude.

    They’re pushing for an 18-month Scottish Fold named Barsik to become their new mayor.

    According to an unofficial poll on the popular local social media page, Altai Online, on Russian social network Vk, the cat won 91 percent of the 5,400 votes against six human rivals.

    1. That would have been a better debate than ours.

      1. I’d feel much better about US voters if they wanted a cat over Hillary or Trump.

        1. O. Long Johnson 2016

          1. A Siberian Town Wants To Elect A Cat As Mayor

            Campaign rally chant: “We want Pussy, We want Pussy”

            sorry. Narrrows own gaze

    2. How bad were the human candidates if a cat was the lesser evil?

  13. Leadership allies reject effort to move funding bill to the right

    Without the conservative riders, GOP leaders expected the omnibus to easily clear the House with a coalition of moderate Democrats, moderate Republicans, and Republicans from oil-producing states who favor ending the ban on crude-oil exports.

    Democrats were expected to supply the majority of the 218 votes needed to pass the spending bill, explaining why GOP negotiators were so intent on keeping controversial, conservative riders out of the final package. One member of the Democratic whip team told The Hill on Wednesday that the party would deliver well north of 100 votes, even as Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and other liberals openly grumbled about the deal.

    helluva job there, Ryan

    1. related: Conservatives give Ryan a pass on budget deal they despise

      Virginia Republican Dave Brat, a Freedom Caucus member who also sits on the budget panel, said Ryan has also gained support because he has been “credible on regular order” ? Congress-speak for empowering committees and rank-and-file members ? and has already teed up the budget process for the beginning of 2016, a starting point unheard of in recent years.

      “The end product here is just cleaning the barn; it’s a disaster,” Brat said of the spending and tax deal. “We’re breaking our pledge on the budget caps to the American people, we’ve lost fiscal discipline, and we’re throwing it all on the next generation.”

      But in the same breath, Brat praised Ryan: “Not only is he saying the right things, he is lining it up to do the right things ? and then leadership can’t hijack the budget at the end of the year and throw the kitchen sink, which we just did.”


    2. That crude oil export thing has my employer doing the happy dance. God I hope it passes. The oil and gas biz could use some good news right now.

  14. Tiny kitten rescued from conveyor belt at recycling plant

    GALT, Calif. (AP) ? A worker at a Northern California recycling center saved a tiny kitten from certain death when he spotted the animal heading down a conveyor belt.

    Tony Miranda tells television station KCRA that (http://bit.ly/1NTvDoG ) he was sorting recyclables Tuesday when he found the pink-nosed, white-pawed cat between the debris and scooped it up.

    It’s not clear how the kitten got in with the trash, but it may have survived a ride in a dump truck before a tractor pushed it onto one of two conveyer belts.

    1. Awwwwww. A sack and a river works better.

      1. When you die, kittens will poop in your cremated remains and there will be nothing you can do about it because you are in hell.

        1. or as Fist calls it, “Monday”.

    2. I think this was episode of Tom & Jerry.

      1. Itchy & Scratchy. But it had a different ending.

        1. *Yeardley Smith and Nancy Cartwright shriek with laughter*

    3. I hear kittens make great cardboard.

      1. While true, the training costs and relatively shorter lifespans of felines make it uneconomical to use kitten labor.

  15. Cook declined to say whether it was a violation of Pentagon email policies.

    “WAS IT A VIOLATION?!” *** snap! ***

    /Jack Bauer

  16. Catholic Diocese finds Utah ‘bleeding host’ wasn’t a miracle

    SALT LAKE CITY (AP) ? The Catholic Diocese of Salt Lake City says a bleeding host reported after a communion wafer turned water red was caused by bread mold, not a miracle.

    Officials said Wednesday that a scientist found the conclusive natural explanation for the wafer that turned water in an ablution bowl a dark red color at Saint Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Kearns.

    The diocese appointed a committee to investigate after the host that went uneaten on Nov. 8 appeared to bleed after being left unattended for several days.

    Committee chair Monsignor Francis Mannion says the church sets a high bar for proving a miracle and rules one out if an event has a conclusive natural explanation.

    1. Combining the Body and Blood of Christ all in one? For the busy faithful on the go!

    2. the church sets a high bar for proving a miracle

      “We answer to a Higher Bar!”

    3. Uh, maybe God sometimes works in fairly quotidian ways.

    4. Penicillin is a miracle! Fuck you deniers!

  17. The ‘Isolationist’ Smear

    The Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin writes that Ted Cruz “outdid himself last night in his courting of the Trumpkin base,” sinking “further into the far-right brew of isolationism and xenophobia.” And to prove this contention, Rubin grabs hold of two words Cruz used, “America” and “first,” to claim that the Texas senator is signaling support for 1930s/40s-style isolationism.

    This is a pretty popular accusation on the hawkish Right. Having watched the debate, though, this seems to be, as Trump might put it, unfair. What I heard wasn’t a case for isolationism but one against Middle Eastern democracy-building?a project that’s been a persistent and bloody failure; one that’s sidetracked foreign policy from its “first” task, which is defeating the enemy.

    You can certainly disagree with my assessment, but I’m relatively sure that merely holding a skeptical view of Middle East entanglements doesn’t make anyone a potential America First Committee recruit.

    1. Texas senator is signaling support for 1930s/40s-style isolationism

      I’m sorry, but weren’t the 30’s and 40’s characterized by intensive meddling in East Asia and eventually a brutal world spanning total war? The fabled “age of isolationism” is never in the history books where they say it is.

      1. No, Comrade, we have always been at war with Eastasia

  18. This Day in History

    1777 – France recognized American independence.

    1903 – Orville and Wilbur Wright made the first flight in a heavier-than-air plane at Kitty Hawk, N.C.

    1944 – The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of holding Japanese-Americans in internment camps, allowing “evacuees” to return home.

    1969 – The U.S. Air Force ended its “Project Blue Book” and concluded that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial activity behind UFO sightings.

    1992 – North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) signed by U.S., Canada, and Mexico.

    1. 1992 – North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) signed by U.S., Canada, and Mexico.

      [Insert joke about “giant sucking sound” here]

      1. All I remember about the signing was Reagan-Mulroney’s bromance.

    1. You know what else was consructed in a garage in Palo Alto…?

      (I know it was shot in Dallas, but it always made more sense taking place in silicon valley.)

  19. Defense Secretary Ash Carter has admitted to using a private email address for government business during his first months in office.


  20. Ivy leaguers sign ‘petition’ to repeal First Amendment

    “I decided to take this campus free speech debate to its logical conclusion,” said Horowitz, who asked students if they’d sign a petition calling for an outright repeal of the First Amendment. “The result was this unbelievable display of total stupidity.”

    In fact, Horowitz discovered a solid majority of the students asked willingly signed the petition, with several expressing their enthusiastic approval for his anti-First Amendment efforts.

    “I think it’s really awesome that you’re out here,” said one student.

    1. Fuck, and these guys are going to be in congress and all levels of government in fifteen years. We are screwed.

    2. I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you.

      1. I’m not shocked, but I am terrified that we have, at most, two decades left of even nominally free speech in this country before these idiot fascists are populating the federal court system

      2. Your winnings sir.

        1. That sounds like a micro-aggression to me. Can we get some muscle over here to clear this guy out.

    3. I blame SoCons on lead.

    4. What the hell? I mean, really… what the hell?

    5. I would like to see how it was worded to see exactly on what basis they went for it.

      The anti Citizen’s United people seem to favor repeal because they think somebody richer than they are having the freedom to use their resources as they see fit means a person with lesser resources has no voice. Valuing equality higher than liberty is the death of liberty.

  21. Mark Bittman on GMOs, farms, raising healthier kids, and establishing a minimum drinking age for soda.

    So what kinds of things can we do to make it harder for kids to drink Coca-Cola? I can think of two offhand. One is you don’t market it to them. You put restrictions on the ability of marketers to target young people. Now that seems to be a First Amendment issue and that’s a struggle, but it’s a struggle that we have to be involved in. The second thing is you make it harder for young people to buy sugar-sweetened beverages. I suggest we start discussing carding kids when they go to the counter to buy a Coke. In other words, you have to be sixteen to buy a Coke, because we don’t think that you’re able to make a decision about how much soda you can drink until you’re sixteen. Really it should be twenty, but I’m compromising because it’s such a far-fetched idea. But it’s not a wrong idea, it’s a right idea.

    1. Just get it over with and say kids aren’t allowed to buy anything until they are 18.

      1. Except beer or slot machine credits – 21 for those.

      2. But they should totally be allowed to buy organic vegetables!

    2. That’s such an incredibly stupid article.

      I especially love how he searches for solutions as to why Iowa farmers only grow corn and soy, and manages to reach conclusions as to why that happens (it’s industry’s fault!) without even mentioning how it happens because government subsidizes it.

      1. Almost the entire article is horrible.

      2. I was about to point that out, as well. The logic (here and elsewhere) seems to go:

        1) Government has a bad, expensive idea to distribute money to a favored constituency
        2) Resulting distorted market creates problematic side effect that all critics predicted
        3) Ignore the problem until it gets the attention of someone at NYT or WaPo
        4) Declare it a “crisis” and, rather than address the source of the problem, use it as a justification to erode liberty and civil rights.

        See, also, health insurance

      3. Without subsidies, Iowa farmers would still grow pretty much corn and soy. That’s because of a combination of soil and climate make Iowa highly suitable for corn and soy. Not to mention that a couple of thousand acres can be managed by one guy or gal with a big tractor and associated equipment.

        1. The climate and soil in the “Corn Belt” are ideal for corn and soybeans and, just as important, not very good for other big acreage crops like small grains.

        2. However, ND would grow more barley and less corn sans subsidies.

          1. You’re right about that.

    3. “So what kinds of things can we do to make it harder for kids to drink Coca-Cola?”

      As a parent, I find saying the word “No” to be sufficient.

      1. I don’t think he’s a parent, and his goal is to make it harder for other people’s kids to drink coca-cola.

      2. Some parents find it difficult to do so, and the #1 most important purpose of the government is to make sure no one* ever has to suffer any discomfort to their feelings for any reason ever ever.

        *Unless you are a heterosexual white male, in which case you are part of the oppressive patriarchy and aren’t entitled to any rights.

        1. I drank a ton of coke as a kid. But I was active and never fat. The problem isn’t that your kid is drinking coke. The problem if there is one is that your kid is not active enough or eating too much in general.

    4. So what kinds of things can we do to make it harder for kids to drink Coca-Cola?

      Put it in the freezer overnight?

    5. But it’s not a wrong idea, it’s a right idea.

      Oh, OK then. I guess that’s settled.

  22. British man performed as stripper while claiming thousands of dollars in disability benefits

    A 51-year-old British man claimed thousands of dollars in disability benefits while he was working as a stripper, authorities say.

    Mark Hetherington told Britain’s Department for Work and Pensions that he was not fit enough to cook or leave the house, the Blackpool Gazette reported. However, he was strong enough to take his clothes off, according to authorities.

    Hetherington liked to perform a stripper ninja routine using the name Ian Kognito, the newspaper reported. He teamed with Kathy Rowan, a grandmother, who taught him to dance. Rowan calls herself “Kozmic Kitty.”

    1. Nice pasties, Mark. Are they Cornish?

    2. A 51-year-old British man … stripper

      Rule 34 in action.

  23. “The much-hated pharmaceutical entrepreneur who jacked up the price of a life-saving AIDS pill by more than 5,000% was arrested for securities fraud.”

    Luckily you can get Schadenfreude over the counter.

    1. Goddamn you, Fist…

      *sighs as lower lip quivers*

  24. Endless summer! Olivia Wilde flaunts flawless bikini body while paddle boarding in Hawaii only 20 months after welcoming son Otis


    I lust her so bad…

    1. I hated her character on House, but at the same time I was always rooting for her to get more screen time.

      1. Jennifer Morrison, the woman she replaced on House, is more attractive. Also, she doesn’t have an alien face.

        1. A 5head and high cheekbones does not an alien face make, and anyway fuck you, I like it.

          But Jennifer Morrison is also top notch. I also hated her character on the show.

          1. So, you hate female television doctors?

            You probably have a strong dislike for Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan too, don’t you?

            1. IMO, the writers for House did a horrible job with all the female characters. They were pretty much all caricatures.

              1. Of course they were. Every character was a caricature, and every plot was the same (mystery illness, wrong diagnosis, a little illegal investigation, then at the very end… ah ha!). The show was as formulaic as they come.

                1. House’s character had a lot more depth (largely thanks to the strength of Hugh Laurie’s acting), but then that’s why the rest of the cast were all caricatures, because they only served to flesh out the intricacies of the main character. Nevertheless, the male characters were nearly all better written and more fully fleshed out. Chase’s character arc I particularly enjoyed after they turned him into an asshole. Ultimately though, it’s the House and Wilson show, mirroring the Holmes/Watson dynamic that they were riffing from the get-go.

          2. and anyway fuck you, I like it.


            1. Hey, to each their own. You prefer alien heads. It’s all good.

              1. Miranda Kerr has an alien face. Wilde, not so much.

                1. FWIW, I like Miranda Kerr as well. Maybe xenophilia is my thing.

                2. Dichen Lachman is clearly alien. And hot.

              2. You prefer alien heads. It’s all good

                I hated her in Cowboys & Aliens.

        2. Alien? More some fae creature type, I think.

    2. sarc, I am surprised at you.


      Looks like she has cankles and the thighs look a little thick.

      1. All the better for riding with…

  25. “The much-hated pharmaceutical entrepreneur who jacked up the price of a life-saving AIDS pill by more than 5,000% was arrested for securities fraud.”

    I’m getting the feeling that if anybody without political connections gets investigated some crime can be found to toss them in jail for several years.

    1. His latest venture involved manipulating the stock of a small biotech – KBIO I believe. Not that “manipulation” is a crime but Forbes magazine was calling for his arrest a couple of weeks ago.

    2. I’m getting the feeling that if anybody without political connections gets investigated some crime can be found to toss them in jail for several years.

      That’s the beauty of criminalizing everything. You can always nail your political enemies with something.

      1. Plus prosecutorial discretion FTW.

    3. Well, when you put banana republic, tin-pot dictator material in the white house…

  26. Vladimir Putin is a Donald Trump fan.

    There’s a dream ticket for conservatives.

    1. Hmmmm. Putin or President Pantywaist…

  27. Warty rides to the rescue!

    The Earth Has Less Nutrients Due to a Shortage of Animal Poop

    According to research published this October, the world’s suffering from an acute shortage of animal shit. In the paper, an international team of scientists shows how nature traditionally recycled and redistributed nutrients worldwide via the indiscriminate voiding of far-roaming animals. But because of the extinction of many species and the endangerment of many more, via human pressures, this global nutrient pump has been crippled, compromising the earth’s fertility.

    Although this theory makes intuitive sense to anyone who gardens with manure (or “night soil”), it’s scientifically revolutionary. Researchers long believed animals played a negligible role in nutrient redistribution relative to processes like soil erosion. But the researchers suggest we neglected poop’s powers because we started studying nutrient distribution in an animal-poor era.

    1. what we need is a vegan revolution, meaning fewer animals, and less poop for our fruits and vegetables! Hooray!

    2. what we need is a vegan revolution, meaning fewer animals, and less poop for our fruits and vegetables! Hooray!

    3. “global nutrient pump”

      More like a global nutrient dump.

    4. Space poop from asteroid mining will eventually replace it, I reckon.

      1. “‘Gas music from Jupiter’, indeed!”

    5. According to research published this October, the world’s suffering from an acute shortage of animal shit.

      But the global warming crowd tells us that all the world’s livestock are warming up the planet because they’re pooping and farting more than all of the undomesticated fauna that ever lived.

      1. That is obviously GMO poop, and is not to be trusted.

    6. So, the economy is a zero sum game, but biology is not.

      Got it.

  28. Light the Bo signal!

    New Orleans considers removing Confederate monuments

    New Orleans is poised to make a sweeping break with its Confederate past as city leaders decide whether to remove prominent monuments from some of its busiest streets.

    With support from Mayor Mitch Landrieu, a majority on the City Council appears ready to take down four monuments, including a towering statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee. Their ordinance has sparked passionate responses for and against these symbols, and both sides will get one more say at a special council meeting before Thursday’s vote.

    If approved, this would be one of the most sweeping gestures yet by an American city to sever ties with Confederate history.

    1. They did such a bang up job on the levees.

      1. And we all know New Orleans as a city has no other more pressing problems to deal with than statues of people that most of its citizens likely don’t even know who they are. I mean it is not like there is a crime, poverty terrible schools and economic development problem in New Orleans. Nope, those things have long since been solved and New Orleans is free to move onto important things like this.

        1. Pray for another Katrina.

    2. The day you show me a Confederate statue get off its plinth, walk around, and lynch someone is the day I will agree that it should be removed.

  29. Dutch town riots over asylum centre plan

    A meeting in a Dutch town to discuss whether to build a new centre for migrants had to be abandoned when some opponents rioted.

    Protesters in Geldermalsen tore down fences and threw fireworks at police who responded with warning shots.

    European countries are facing record numbers of refugees and other migrants entering Greece illegally from Turkey.

    Dutch State Secretary for Security and Justice Klaas Dijkhoff said the protesters had crossed a line.

    “Finding shelter for asylum seekers poses difficult questions but there is a limit when it comes to expressing your opinion,” he said on Dutch TV.

    1. Whelp, this could very well be the turning point. This is an actual violent reaction to attempt to take in more refugees, and that could be all it takes to spark a full tide change of behavior in Europe.

      1. “About 2,000 people joined the protests from the municipality of 27,000, 27 km (17 miles) from Utrecht, Dutch national broadcaster NOS reports.”

        Holy shit, you have to take into account that Europeans are more likely to riot than Americans, but that is a huge chunk of the populace turning out on the street. How the hell do the politicians think they are going to keep their jobs with that kind of resistance.

        1. How the hell do the politicians think they are going to keep their jobs with that kind of resistance.

          They have all the guns?

    2. “Finding shelter for asylum seekers poses difficult questions but there is a limit when it comes to expressing your opinion,” he said on Dutch TV.

      I think there is a limit to what sort of policies you can reasonably shove down people’s throat. The government thinks they can just impose members of the backwards societies on Earth on the inhabitants of the most advanced and k selected societies on Earth and think there won’t be a problem. Those rioters are taxed to feed, house, clothe and provide for all the needs of these asylum seekers and third world immigrants in general. Free people, k selected people, don’t breed well in captivity and in the west the k selected are taxed to pay for the lifestyles and offspring of the r selected. Thereby diminishing the amount of k selection taking place in society, making the world a worse place.

      So Europeans, please do riot, burn every one of those tax funded refugee centers to the ground. It would do far more good to send money to the afflicted region to help people rather than import them to the west where the cost to help them is an order of magnitude higher and less effective.

      1. What is going to happen is people will just start taking matters into their own hands and that will be very ugly. Long term, I think Muslims are less of a threat to Europe than many think. The European welfare states are going to collapse and the Europeans are not going sit idly by and let these people terrorize them into submission. Cut off the welfare and get the natives to start taking matters into their own hands, Muslims will decide going back home is a good option. They are still a relatively small minority and have virtually no economic prospects in Europe outside of welfare once the natives really turn on them. Cut off the welfare and what do they have? Long cold winters of hoping the natives don’t show up and burn their homes down?

        1. That is both sad and reason for optimism. But also correct I believe. The longer the welfare gravy train flows into their insular little colonies in Europe, the more unpleasant the end game will be. There’s just something I don’t like about k-selected people being forced to forgo their own reproduction in order to subsidize the reproduction of r-selected good-for-nothings and I don’t think I’m alone on this. The welfare state is just downright evil.

          1. It is very sad. Things are going to get ugly in Europe for everyone and most of all for Muslims. But the Muslims have no one but themselves to blame. You can’t just show up in an alien country and squat and demand the locals cater to you. And that is what Muslims have largely done in Europe.

            1. Yeah I’m not exactly impressed with how Muslims (“westernized” or not) generally behave in Europe. There are exceptions, my next door neighbor in Arnhem was a Turkish grocer and lived above his store. He was a great guy, always gave me free baklava. That said, my first day in the Netherlands a Morrocan tried to mug me with a shard of broken glass. Not long after, a Levantine of some type actually did rob me on an empty train. I could go on and on with my anecdotes, but the lesson I learned while living there was to assume they mean me harm and to keep my distance. Albeit, I never had a negative interaction with a Turk. The ones causing trouble were almost always Morrocans and Lebanese.

  30. Alleged car thief just wanted ‘out of R.I.’ before he rammed Rehoboth police cruiser

    A 19-year-old Providence man charged with stealing an SUV and ramming it into a police cruiser told police “he just wanted to get out of Rhode Island.”

    The defendant, Alex J. Patterson, wanted out so badly, police said he had earlier stopped one of the police officers to ask for directions to Attleboro.

    That’s when Rehoboth police Officer Craig Forget ran a check of the Chevy Tahoe’s license plates while following the SUV. A computer check showed the Tahoe had been reported stolen out of a store parking lot in Coventry, Rhode Island.

    another economic refugee

    1. Then one night in desperation
      A young man breaks away
      He buys a gun, he steals a car,
      He tries to run, but he don’t get far
      And his mama cries
      As a crowd gathers ’round an angry young man
      Face down on the street with a gun in his hand
      In the ghetto
      (In the ghetto)

  31. Confessions of an orgy addict

    I’d just broken up with my boyfriend ? a complete jerk ? so it was my way of giving him the finger.

    Yeah, that’lll show him!

    1. so it was my way of giving him the finger.

      … if you know what she means…

    2. The gives him the finger by getting everyone else’s fingers.

    3. Has there ever been an article that started “Confessions of a…” where the writer didn’t turn out to be a self-centered asshole?

      1. That one didn’t seem so bad.

    4. Her twitter bio:

      All-round curious person, always on the lookout for new, buzz-worthy stories. Journalist and frazzled mother of two. Senior Features Writer for New York Post

      1. Well, she’d be fun to take camping.

      2. Sex fiends always seem to have kids, it’s almost as though there’s a connection

    5. Where were all the three-way bang apps when I was unmarried? This is bullshit.

      1. Many moons ago, back when the universe seemed slightly more sane, a (quite pretty) friend of my wife-to-be apparently asked the two of us if we were interested in a three-way. I say apparently because she asked in a very non-transparent way to the point where I didn’t understand what she was getting at.

        She only brought it up again 2-3 years later saying – to paraphrase – “It’s too bad you turned down sex with me when you had the chance.”

        Me: *jaw drops* What? When was this?

        1. I had a very similar experience. A friend of my wife-to-be asked us both if we wanted to do a threeway. I immediately signaled my approval, though I was not as subtle as I should have been, my fiance wasn’t keen on it and did take just a wee bit of offense that I was all about it.

          1. Maybe if you hadn’t answered: “I’d love a threesome with you! Who else should we invite?” it might have gone better.

            1. ha ha that’s actually not too far off. The enthusiasm was definitely there.

    6. In Manhattan, my partners included lawyers, CEOs, investment bankers or owners of start-ups. In London, the men ? women were very few and far between ? were universally creepy.

      Creepy compared to investment bankers and New York lawyers? That’s pretty harsh.

      1. That is harsh. And if those guys were into going to an orgy where the “women were few and far between” my guess is they were not very interested in the ones who were there. NTTAWWT

    7. I only clicked that to see if she is hot.
      No pic, dammit.

  32. In late breaking news, Super-asshole Martin Shkreli is investigated by the SEC:


    Karma is a bitch, but I would like reason to point out that this asshole is trying to game government rules to jack up prices on certain drugs rather than actually innovating. This guy is the OPPOSITE of a free market entrepeneur…

    1. This guy is the OPPOSITE of a free market entrepeneur…

      A rent seeking entrepreneur.

    2. This guy is the OPPOSITE of a free market entrepeneur…

      A rent seeking entrepreneur.

  33. “The much-hated pharmaceutical entrepreneur who jacked up the price of a life-saving AIDS pill by more than 5,000% was arrested for securities fraud.”

    “I could have raised it higher and made more profits for our shareholders, which is my primary duty,” he said. “No one wants to say it, no one’s proud of it, but this is a capitalist society, capitalist system and capitalist rules, and my investors expect to me to maximize profits.”

    The misogynic CEO then outraged music fans when he said he has no plans to stream the new Wu-Tang album after he bought the sole copy for millions.

    “If Taylor Swift wants to come over and suck my d—, I’ll play it for her,” he said.

    It’s like this guy is trying to be a caricature of a capitalist.

    1. selling a 62 year old drug that costs you a dollar to make for $750 with no fear of a competitor sounds like a government controlled centrally planned timeserving bureaucrat regulation failure.

      1. Yeah, what he describes is pretty much the opposite of “a capitalist society, capitalist system and capitalist rules”

      2. And no one mentions that it is government in the equation making this “capitalism” possible. Certainly not Bernie or Liddy…

        1. Well, personally, I think it’s obvious that what we need is MOAR REGULAYSHUNZ

    2. Yeah. He sounds more like a prog on a mission to show that ‘capitalism’ is awful.

  34. Open Relationships
    The Cardinal Rule of sexual strategies:
    For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.

    …For a female of any species to facilitate a methodology for breeding with the best genetic partner she’s able to attract AND to ensure her own and her offspring’s survival with the best provisioning partner; this is an evolutionary jackpot….

    1. The bottom line is that men are more receptive to casual sex than women as a general rule. This means that it will usually be easier for women to enjoy the benefits of an open relationship than men. So if a couple is in an “open relationship” and they both are equally receptive to casual sex, the woman is going to get a lot more of it than the guy. Open relationships can favor the guy but only when the woman is not interested in looking elsewhere.

      1. Yeah, that’s got to be the major reason why open relationships aren’t more popular. It’s fun to fantasize, but I imagine most men aren’t going to be too happy if their woman is getting laid and they aren’t. It takes a very rare and special kind of person to make that work. Most people are either too insecure or too jealous.

        1. I think it all comes down to not wanting to raise a kid that isn’t yours.

          1. Bingo. I could sorta see how people past child bearing age could get into such things. I mean whatever works for you. But how anyone who is young enough to have kids would is beyond me. Kids are enough of a pain in the ass as it is. To be willing raise someone else’ kid because of you wanted to indulge some kink is just completely beyond my comprehension.

          2. That is logical, but it’s not like the guys who would want a relationship open on their end are swayed by the thought of someone else raising their kid. In practice I think it’s more jealousy. Emotion, not logic is usually behind a double standard.

            1. Yeah lap, people in general are naturally jealous. I would think it would be very hard to suspend that forever. Some people are more jealous than others and being too jealous and possessive can be very self destructive. But, to not be jealous at all is I would think very rare.

              I think the internet exaggerates the actual frequency that these sorts of relationships exist. They are out there no doubt but they are overall pretty rare.

            2. I always felt like jealousy is borne out of an evolutionary reaction to not wanting to raise a kid that isn’t yours or part of your tribe.

              1. You are probably right Idle Hands.

              2. I could see the kid being a constant trigger of jealousy. But I don’t think a guy who sees his wife with another man would be thinking “gosh what if they have a kid together!” In that moment it’s probably baser emotions.

                1. I could see the kid being a constant trigger of jealousy. But I don’t think a guy who sees his wife with another man would be thinking “gosh what if they have a kid together!” In that moment it’s probably baser emotions.

                  sure but in that instance it seems to mostly serve as a driver to leave a relationship, not for everyone but most. Most jealousy seems to stem from suspicion anyway and maybe that results in paying more attention to the relationship?

                2. That there is a rational reason why sexual jealously exists does not mean that any particular instance of jealously that an individual feels is for rational reasons.

          3. That could be the evolutionary reason for it. And probably enters some people conscious calculations. But for the most part I’d think it is more of a raw emotional reaction, particularly with the availability of birth control.

            1. A women would feel jealous because you aren’t paying enough attention/providing for her kid, so it’s out protecting her offspring. And kind of the opposite for a man. Of course this is 100% pulled out of my ass but it could be plausible. More than likely their are many reasons for why the emotion has been developed and preserved over the years.

        2. It is all fun and gams until it is totally one sided. Most swinging couples seem to be either men who are into their wives being with other men and their wives either like it or are indulging them or couples where the wife is just going through the motions to keep her husband happy by getting him laid.

          That is all fine and good if it works for the people involved. it does not however work for most people.

          1. It is all fun and gams until it is totally one sided.

            Please tell me that this was intentional!!!

            1. Forget it, tarran, it’s Johntown.

          2. A few years ago I had a guy crash on my couch because his wife (and mother of his four children), was “swinging” without him. I felt it was I was obligated to inform him that they weren’t really swingers if he isn’t usually invited to their meet-ups.

            1. I want to feel sorry for that guy but my God no one is that stupid. He must have either gotten off on her doing it without him or had such pathetic self esteem he thought he deserved it. Either way, I can’t see how I can feel much sympathy for him. If he got off on it, good for him. If not, it is his own fault for being so pathetic. That is just sad.

              1. Don’t feel sorry for him.

              2. If he got off on it, good for him. If not, it is his own fault for being so pathetic.

                I think it’s pathetic in either case really. I get the whole fetish thing, that it’s a sort of emotional masochism. But when it comes to actually having your wife, and mother of your children, plowed by other dudes and not even in the context of quid pro quo, that is just pathetic.

                1. I don’t get the fetish either Free Society. I think guys into that mostly just like to be humiliated, which I really don’t get, or they love the idea of their wife being a whore, which I don’t get either but not as much as I don’t get the humiliation thing.

                  1. If you can empathize with a masochist then you can get it. Granted I’m not one, but I always try my best to empathize, to understand someone’s train of thought. Sometimes physical, sometimes it’s emotional. This is sometimes manifested as having a flare for drama and conflict, or in this case, experiencing pain in terms of humiliation or betrayal.

                2. If they’re happy, I don’t see how it’s pathetic necessarily. It probably is pathetic in most actual cases, but unusual relationship arrangements work for some people.

      2. Unless you’re gay!

        That said, open relationships have always sounded like a lot of trouble.

        1. Most people I’ve talked to about it say that swinging, open relationships, or anything of the sort should never be attempted unless you don’t really care about that relationship anymore. Some others have said that it works great, but there seem to be a lot more people who advise against it.

    1. Thinking a metaphor for China asserting territorial rights in the South China Sea.

  35. The Cautionary Tale of Mickey Kaus, Contrarian Liberal Blogger Turned Trump Fan

    While his old friends from top New York and Washington publications are now Top Thinkers and People Who Run Things, he is sitting in a coffee shop in Venice, talking about how he’s going to light up the congressional switchboard with calls about immigration. He now lives off his savings, and writes solely on Twitter, where he has emerged as an unlikely man of this political moment: a Democratic intellectual who thinks that Donald Trump is the “most credible” candidate for the presidency.

    Aside from Mickey’s apparent belief that this is the latest issue on which liberals have sold out their progressive birthright for a mess of votes, you have to figure he delights in his lonely stature as a Democrat for Trump, and perhaps has thoughts of vengeance toward his ancient foes on the left and the right should the Donald win.

    But for me, and perhaps for others, Mickey Kaus represents a cautionary tale of what might have happened to any of us had not a sense of perspective, an understanding of how coalition politics work, and yes, strong-minded editors kept us off the crazy train to Cranksville. Every political writer hears that lonely whistle now and then, and it’s best to lie down till it fades into the distance, headed toward Venice Beach.

    1. Mickey Kaus represents a cautionary tale of what might have happened to any of us had not a sense of perspective, an understanding of how coalition politics work,

      Yes, in a parliament. Not so much in a two party first-past-the-post system.

      1. Kaus is a good example of the type of person who is attracted to Trump. He is not a conservative. He is a Democrat. He is an old school FDR kind of Democrat who is patriotic, believes in government and thinks the government needs to act to protect the economic interests of the middle and lower middle class. His number one issue is immigration.

        Exactly who can a guy like Klaus, and there are a lot of people like him, support other than Trump?

        1. Exactly who can a guy like Klaus, and there are a lot of people like him, support other than Trump?

          Sanders seems like an obvious choice as well, except for the patriotism I guess.

          1. Kaus is an old school Democrat. He is not a socialist. He is pretty down the middle on economic issues. So Sanders is not an option.

            1. I’d say FDR was as much a socialist as Bernie is, regardless of either man’s willingness to embrace the term. They’re very close on policy. Although you’re probably right that a guy like Kaus sees them as different enough to make the distinction.

              1. FDR really made all the same assumptions about human nature and society that the socialists and fascists were making. It’s not surprising that his policies fit those molds.

    2. Listening to journalists preen about their favored political candidates is like listening to pretentious teenagers call each other stupid for liking the wrong bands.

    3. Donald Trump may in fact be the most credible candidate for presidency.

    4. A cautionary tale? What the living fuck? These assholes really do believe not being a part of the hive is the most disastrous thing that can befall someone, don’t they?

      1. I was just scratching my head over that use of words.

        I dont understand the majority of what they say because our assumptions about the world are all nearly polar opposites.

      2. Yes. This

        Every political writer hears that lonely whistle now and then, and it’s best to lie down till it fades into the distance, headed toward Venice Beach.

        pretty much translates to “don’t make waves”.

  36. Most Asylum Applicants Are Interviewed by Telephone

    I attended USCIS’s Asylum Division Quarterly Stakeholder Meeting last week. It was led by John Lafferty, chief of the Asylum Division. Those present were, for the most part, USCIS staff and immigration lawyers in charge of representing asylum seekers and refugees.

    Here are a few things I learned:

    The Asylum Division suffers from a high staff turnover. Loss of trained staff means recruiting and training others to do the job. It is also understaffed. Officers have a hard time meeting quotas set by the president.

    In 2000, there were only 5,000 asylum cases and no backlog. There are now 120,000 cases, hence the backlog.

    The budget is tight. USCIS is considering increasing its fees ? but only for legal immigrants, since refugees and asylum seekers are not charged.

    1. Press “one” for Arabic. *Blaaam*

  37. Revenu Quebec pulled a good one on a contractor I know. Years ago he built a house to sell. They ran into some tiny problems regarding the buyer but he had a solution. So he called Rev Que to make sure it was legit to do so. They cleared it and said it was okay. Seven years later they reviewed his file and decided – because the law had changed in the interim – he owed them $12 000.

    This is what tax collectors/agencies do to people. They literally have the power to act with impunity and potentially ruin lives.

    Anyway. I lent him the money. He’s good for it but what a story. Like he told me, ‘I made a profit. I had the money then. But to come after me now when I don’t is ruthless.’ It would have cost him about $12 000 to fight it in court and get a reason (fuck you that’s why is the reason) so it wasn’t worth it.

    1. All phone calls with tax collector should be recorded and given a number. If they come back and say something different later the tax payer should get to choose which interpretation is acceptable. That would be a non-FYTW system though.

      1. He knows now.

          1. Wow.

            1. Yeah, all the BBC talk yesterday was that they had decided to keep him at least through this weekend but obviously something changed. Guardiola is supposed to be leaving Bayern at the end of the season so, current rumor is someone like Hiddink for the rest of the season, then Chelsea & Man City will compete for Pep.

              And, Beneitez is apparently on a short leash at RM.

              1. There are so few points scored in international football that the newsworthy topics are scandals, firings and trades.

            2. Yeah, wow.

              “Ultimately it is easier to change a manager than 22 players”

              I’m sure they’re beating down the door to take charge of a bunch of slackers.

          2. Whoa. Seriously.

      2. I think, unfortunately, that a court would still hold you responsible for the bad advice you receive from the IRS in the States.

    2. Quebec sounds a lot like the State of Illinois.

      1. Chicago and Montreal are art-deco, corrupted sister cities!

  38. “He’s a really brilliant and talented person, without any doubt,” Putin declared.

    Can anyone really argue against this? Trump is definitely talented at promoting Trump. His campaign is so retarded it’s brilliant. This endorsement from one bully to another is just going to keep the Trump Train Trucking along.

    1. That is true. Yes Trump was born with a lot of money but he has managed to be one hell of a self promoter. Love him or hate him, I don’t think you can say he is stupid or talentless.

      1. Hell of a self-promoter. Then again, so is Kim Kardashian. As a businessman, not so much


      2. Milli Vanilli made millions and won a grammy award off of (pretending to sing) songs like this

        No, I think its entirely fair to say Trump is stupid and talentless, and that the voting public WANTS a stupid and talentless candidate.

    2. I think Putin could probably win both the GOP and DNC primaries.

      1. That is an interesting question. I would like to say you are wrong. You might be but I honestly can’t say for sure you are wrong. Our political class is just that pathetic.

      2. I think Putin could probably win both either the GOP and DNC primaries.

        All he would have to do is put the proper letter after his name, then spew blustery platitudes in support of the notions of the base.

      3. Putin would win both primaries, then win an Oscar, then win the Stanley cup single handed.

  39. http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/1…..book_nymag

    Saudi millionaire cleared of rape after claiming he tripped and his penis accidentally penetrated the victim.

    Insert Steve Smith joke here.

    1. Did he trip on his penis?

      1. Good question. If I were that girl’s father, he wouldn’t have to have to worry about tripping on his penis very much longer. I am a great believer in the legal system. At some point, however, you have an obligation to ensure justice where the legal system will not.

        1. I have to wonder what happened here? Was this a case of blame the victim by the jury? Yeah, I agree, if someone harmed a loved one of mine they would be begging to go to prison for life after I get ahold of them.

        2. John, did you read the first comment after the story (why didn’t Bill Cosby think of this)? LOL.

          1. No. But that is funny.

        3. There is an old british legal argument about that. But you do have to give the legal system the chance first.

          And in this case, that was done.

          1. If my daughter got raped and the guy who did it was walking around free, I pretty much would never have a happy day again anyway. So, what would I have to lose by cutting his dick and nuts off? If I am miserable anyway, I might as well be in prison. And I would likely do okay in prison if I was there for cutting off the dick of the guy who raped my daughter. That is a respectable crime that would likely keep people from fucking with me.

    2. “It was a million to one shot, doc. A million to one!”

      1. +1 Fusilli Jerry.

      2. +1 ASSMAN

    3. I am guessing the jury was a sympathetic crowd.

      My father was in London last year and said he didn’t see any Englishmen.

  40. I’m beginning to think you fuckers don’t have the answer.

      1. Cheers! I’m 5 in already.

        1. Nice. I’m at work recovering from last nights beers.

      2. “To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems!”

        -Homer S.

    1. It’s always Hitler. Or 42.

      1. Or sometimes Steve Smith

        1. Also, woodchippers

      2. Don’t forget Rule 34

    2. I don’t have any answers but I certainly have a lot of questions.

      Like how many Wartys (Warties?) exist in this universe at a given moment? Is there some type of higher level equation to figure this out?

      How many STEVE SMITH victims are there on a yearly basis?

      How many memes does H&R generate in a month?

      1. If you’re walking through the forest with a canoe in your purse and the wheels fall off, how many red flags does it take to cover a dog house?

          1. He said RED flags.

            So the answer is ‘The Sphinx’.

            If he’d sung it, then the answer would be ‘fish’.

      2. Like how many Wartys (Warties?) exist in this universe at a given moment? Is there some type of higher level equation to figure this out?

        There is only one Warty, but He contains multitudes.

        How many STEVE SMITH victims are there on a yearly basis?

        All of them.

        How many memes does H&R generate in a month?

        What difference, at this point, does it make?

        1. *golf clap*

  41. Never change communism.

    Top company executives in China keep vanishing, and some never return to their posts.
    This week, it was the CEO of the Hong Kong arm of one of China’s largest brokerages who disappeared; a few months ago, the president of a giant bank.
    Once they go missing, there’s no telling when they’ll resurface. In some cases, they show up again — perhaps months later, and offering little explanation.
    In others, state media report that the executive has been caught up in a government investigation, into insider dealing or bribery, for example. Few details are ever revealed.
    Some of these cases appear to be linked to a campaign against corruption launched by President Xi Jinping in 2013. But lately, more seem to be tied to investigations related to China’s summer stock crash. Officials have been casting around for people to blame for the wild market swings.

    something tells me there would be plenty of people who would support this here.

    1. If you are one of these guys why in gods name would you stay in China. The second it looks like someone might think you’re guilty of something I’d be on a first class flight to somewhere warm for retirement.

      1. Many did.

      2. It’s not exactly trivial to find permanent residence for yourself, your money, and your family (if you have one) in a foreign country when you’re a high profile person in a place like China where your wealth and status is largely a result of your relationship with the ruling party.

        1. I’d be discretely transferring an inconspicuous portion of my wealth into bitcoins and small diamonds and taking the family on a vacation to Hawaii. Here’s a group of people that the US actually should be giving asylum to.

          1. “Here’s a group of people that the US actually should be giving asylum to.”

            I’d keep that brush a bit more narrow.
            If you read much about the Russian ‘businessmen’, you’d prefer they stay at more than arms’ length.
            There’s reason to believe that quite a few of the Chinese ‘businessmen’ also made their fortunes by gaming the ‘privatization’ process; Elon Musk ^n.

            1. Fair point, though I’m inclined to think that small number of wealthy refugees are less problematic and less welfare dependent than a large number of poor ones that are pulling in $250k per year per household in welfare.

  42. Hypocrites for Hillary!
    “Clinton backs the Buffett rule; Buffett backs Clinton”

    1. It doesn’t matter to Buffet what the tax structure is – he’ll still be a billionaire. Fuck him.

      1. Yeah, it’s like Obama wanting his kids to grow up without global warming. Heck, his grandkids will be multi-millionaires, as will Al Gore’s. Do you really think any of them will be forced to cut back on unnecessary limo rides, private flights to the Caribbean, or trips to Paris or St. Mortiz?

        1. Private jets for me, bikes for thee

    2. Buffet is a regulatory capture whore. Folksy Buffet pretends not to understand the tax code and bemoans the unfairness to the little guy, and slick Buffet lobbies for rules which lead to gross over regulation and ultimately line the coffers of his insurance (among other) holdings.

      1. Buffett takes a salary of $100K. He then takes free rides on the fractional-jets he owns, paying hotel and dining bills from his gap-gains (not mentioned in the ‘tax ’em; they’re rich’ Buffett Plan).
        The man is without shame.

        1. I’d go a step further. He refuses to give portions of his wealth to his own family; his own blood on some work ethic garbage.

          Bro, you leveraged the system in your favor. I don’t think you can pick and choose where you’re gonna be moralistic and daddy of the year.

          He’s so annoying.

    1. Seems like an impressive story so far, but I cannot see his taut abs, so I have already dismissed this workout.

    2. I wouldn’t turn him down.

  43. I’m wondering if Reason will be posting an article on the Repub’s hideous shitshow of an omnibus spending bill, one that gave the Dems everything they wanted, and gave the Repub base nothing it wanted.

    And the Repub establishment wonders why their own base hates them, and is looking for any alternative, even one as odious as Trump.

    1. The Republican Party’s entire purpose seems to be to give Democrats everything they want.

    2. My God is Paul Ryan worse than anyone ever imagined? What a fucking shitbag. He just shows that you cannot ever trust anyone who is considered a “Washington Wonk”. I don’t care what they say. Ryan is in bed with the beltway culture and sold the country out in the name of “bi partisanship” the first chance he got.

      Don’t tell me that is the best they can do. Bullshit. We have a lame duck President and big majorities in both houses. Ryan is happy with that shit.

      1. It’s indeed a terrible bill, but I suspect Ryan knows that the media scrutiny is going to be most intense this cycle, accepting the short-term loss as part of a bigger long-term strategy.

        I have no fucking idea why I’m giving that shitbag slaver the benefit of the doubt here, as I have never had any faith in his being anything but an asshole.

        1. accepting the short-term loss as part of a bigger long-term strategy

          What long-term strategy? And how does giving the Dems everything they want advance it, exactly?

          1. “Once every terrorist is dead, and the GOP controls the White House and has overwhelming majorities in both houses, and every media outlet can be counted on to stop attacking our motives, then and only then will we start ‘reducing government’ by demanding government spending only increase by 3% every year when the Democrats call for 5% increases.” Typical GOP establishment figure who scares you into voting Republican “because you wouldn’t want those big spending Democrats to win would you?”

          2. Yeah, I keep hearing that too. The dems keep getting what they want over and over again and the Rs sell it as a short term loss as part of a bigger long term strategy.

            It probably is true, it’s just not a long term strategy for the people we think they are talking about.

  44. Putin respects strength above all else. Let that sink in for a moment.

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