Reason Tweets the GOP Debates

The GOP debates in Vegas tonight. Join the Reason staff for news, views, and abuse.

Tweets from https://twitter.com/kmanguward/lists/reason1

The 6:00 p.m. undercard debate lineup is Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Lindsey Graham, and George Pataki. At 8:30 p.m., Donald Trump, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, John Kasich, and, finally, Rand Paul

CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer moderates, with CNN's Dana Bash and conservative talk radio host Hugh Hewitt as additional panelists. 

Comments

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

No thanks.

[GILMORE?]

I was considering breaking my streak of "not watching". You just talked me out of it.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Fortunately, the debates aren't on here.

[Hamster of Doom]

This. Why would I watch? They pay people to handle it, man!

[Atanarjuat]

I just turned it on, and was faced with the visages of Santorum, and fucking Lindsay Graham, who is apparently in this. You made a good choice.

[d3x / dt3]

Senator Blanche DuBois

[straffinrun]

OT: [Anything other than following tweets]

[BigT]

No one reads the damn tweets, just the comments. The tweets are rather lame.

[Palin's Buttplug]

CNN bent their rules to put Rand on prime time.

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/cnn.....rand-paul/

Damned lamestream media.

[Tak Kak]

Indeed, I think CNN broke their own rules to let Carly in before as well.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

I think CNN is breaking their rules by airing it.

[Tak Kak]

First rule is ratings, I think.

[d3x / dt3]

Wait - so do you just worship anything in authority?

[Crusty Juggler]

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

[GILMORE?]

I for one am going to be seeing if my home-made Chris Christie voodoo-doll works.

(sets out pins, dremel tool, blowtorch, jar of fire-ants)

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

One of the first results for "obese voodoo doll"

[SIV]

Where do you get fire ants in Brooklyn, hipster ant farmers?

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

I've got a mound that's about 1' x 2' x 3'. I'll happily package it up and send it to you for $200.

[Crusty Juggler]

I've got a mound that's about 1' x 2' x 3

You could make money starring in strange pornography.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That is how he makes money.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

It is a federal crime to mail ants. Seriously.

[GILMORE?]

Dude - Amazon has everything.

[commodious spittoon]

Better stick an ass-covering caveat in there before Preet catches wind. If consigning someone to hell warrants a subpoena surely voodoo mysticism rises to the occasion.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I don't know about you, but we all understood that comment as GILMORE trying to heal the fat man's back pain with some voodoo acupuncture. The fire ants were for personal use.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

"Vladimir Putin is immortal and hasn't changed his appearance in 100 years"

I just watched that Twilight Zone today! He eventually dies of old age.

[GILMORE?]

Look, if you're not going to be serious about your drinking games, then no one will ever take you seriously about anything. I want footage of Tyler Koteskey playing his own damn game

"
- Drink a flaming shot if Donald Trump's supporters try to remove anyone from the debate venue.

- Pick up a full shot glass off the floor with your mouth and drink it if Ted Cruz continues to bootlick Donald Trump right after being insulted?again.

- Distribute a round of vodka to everyone in the room, yell "Nostrovya!" and drink the shot straight every time a candidate suggests a course of action that will almost certainly lead to war with Russia.

- Donate a free bottle to someone in the room if anyone, literally anyone onstage says something nice about Syrian refugees not followed by a suggestion to ban them. Donate to these guys helping the refugees regardless to repent for the political leaders we've decided to make important.

- Take three shots, bury your head in your knees, cry deeply, and think about how we got to this state in our country's history if and when Donald Trump says anything else this blatantly false and gets cheers for it.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Trump should go full Birther on Cruz like he did Obama. But he won't.

There is something different between the two of them.

[GILMORE?]

Yes, that makes a lot of sense, retarded monkey

[Palin's Buttplug]

Why not? Cruz was actually born in Canada. Canucks are more Commie/foreign than Hawaii to your average wingnut.

I guess it must only works on black guys.

[Tak Kak]

So do "full Birthers" contend that Cruz *wasn't* born in Canada or what here?

There's not much of a parallel as far as I can tell.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Trump could still bring it up:

Real estate tycoon Donald Trump cast doubt Monday on whether Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) can run for president, because Cruz was born in Canada.

"It's a hurdle; somebody could certainly look at it very seriously," Trump said during a phone interview Monday on My Fox New York.

http://thehill.com/blogs/ballo.....birthplace

[Tak Kak]

So going "full birther" now means bringing up that *maybe* the courts will rule Ted can't be president?

Really lost a lot of the oomph there, pal.

[Hyperion]

Stop insulting retarded monkeys!

[Tak Kak]

Proof that Trump secretly loves Hispanics?

[The Last American Hero]

Yes, Cruz would probably have a news crew accompany him to the county clerk's office and provide his long-form birth certificate on national TV to shut up birther-idiots. Obama would let the issue fester to the point where birther-idiots started to sound like they may be on to something.

Oh, and one is half Latino but is defined by democrats as a white hispanic and the other one is half white but apparently chooses to identify as black and that is apparently A-OK by Team Blue.

That about cover it?

[Palin's Buttplug]

accompany him to the county clerk's office and provide his long-form birth certificate on national TV to shut up birther-idiots

That didn't shut the Donald up when Obama finally produced his. Trump just doubled down on the nuttiness.

[Rich]

when Obama finally produced his

When, exactly, was this "production"?

[Palin's Buttplug]

April 27, 2011.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/0.....ertificate

Trump then went wild, saying he had a crack team of investigators on it, and would soon produce proof it was fake.

[The Last American Hero]

Like I said, Obama let the issue fester. 3 fucking years he let those idiots run with that narrative when he could have shut down hard by the end of the week back in 2008.

[commodious spittoon]

I disagree, giving the idiots rope enough to lynch themselves (RACIST) was politically astute of him.

[paranoid android]

Like I said, Obama let the issue fester. 3 fucking years he let those idiots run with that narrative when he could have shut down hard by the end of the week back in 2008.

"Never interrupt your opponent when he is making a mistake."

[Tommy_Grand]

waiting years was smart, effective politics by obama. also duplicitous, just like the "affordable" care act + blaming a youtube video for terrorist killings in Libya

[Calidissident]

The Cruz-Obama comparison doesn't really make sense. To the extent the birther issue exists with Cruz, it's not about where he was born. Also, being Latino and being white aren't mutually exclusive (even among people who are 100% Latino). There are plenty of white people who moved to Latin America historically and didn't necessarily mix with the indigenous or black populations.

[Brett L]

Mmm. Costa Rica.

[Tak Kak]

Cuba is 65% white, so Ted could very well still be 100% white - assuming Spanish folk count as white - and Latino.

White Hispanic or Latino is really a political term now, used to describe, well "wrong" Hispanics. (See Bill Richardson disqualifying Ted from being Hispanic because of his views on Immigration, for example)

However, the term was popularized for George Zimmerman who definitely wasn't White Hispanic in the ethnic sense, so I don't know how many in the news media really throw the term around in the literal sense.

[Atanarjuat]

- Distribute a round of vodka to everyone in the room, yell "Nostrovya!" and drink the shot straight every time a candidate suggests a course of action that will almost certainly lead to war with Russia.

I'm kind of fascinated with the trainwreck that is Lindsay Graham, but all he is talking about tonight is a full scale ground invasion to remove Assad. Thankfully for the sake of my liver, I have no vodka.

[Crusty Juggler]

Mr. Suderman, thank you for reminding me to ask you to post your debate cocktail recipe. Us cool commenters really appreciate fun drinks.

[Hamster of Doom]

Us un-cool commenters drink as well!

[Mazakon]

Forgot Pataki was still in.

[Lord Rollingpin]

Why do those drinks have goldfish in them?

[GILMORE?]

Those aren't goldfish = those are fresh adrenal-glands. You can't make a "Corpse Reviver" without one.

[Elizabeth Nolan Brown]

Obviously.

[Slammer]

Go away..batein'

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

it's always the same line

[Hyperion]

I can't figure out why the Reason staff, who we know read our comments have still not learned how to be at least weedhopper level slingers of sarcastic wit. The force is not with them. We should send them all some car wash kits. Wash on! Wash off! Wash on! Wash off! Bow to your sensei, weedhoppers!

[Palin's Buttplug]

They get paid.

[Hyperion]

Do you have a point, dimwit?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Your paycheck wouldn't last two weeks posting the slop you do. You spend most of the time bitching about your payroll deductions.

You need to jazz up your game a bit. It's stale.

[Ms. Eleanor Lavish]

Oh, the irony, it burns.

[Hyperion]

Maybe, but I do pride myself on not being a mendacious boot licking twat like you who takes pleasure in other people's suffering.

[Marshall Gill]

You need to jazz up your game a bit. It's stale.

Holy projection Batman!

[Crusty Juggler]

They do use their real names so they have to pretend to be respectable. It's sad.

[Hyperion]

Well, if they can't do any better at being smartass libertarians, then they can do the CNN anchor clone, 'Oh look at me, I'm Wolf Blitzer. Do you see how serious I am? How can I not be, with such an serious impressive name? Look at me, adore me, love me'.

[Crusty Juggler]

Fun fact: Wolf Blitzer is German for "neatly trimmed beard."

[Hyperion]

lol

[GILMORE?]

Du Hast Recht!

[Crusty Juggler]

Du Hast?

Method Man and Redman approve.

[GILMORE?]

Those guys were like the Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire of Rap.

[Crusty Juggler]

I like that comparison.

[commodious spittoon]

"In"

[Juvenile Bluster]

OT, because it could be dumber than anything that will be said at either debate tonight:

Slate: Free speech bad because ISIS. Prevent Americans from going to doubleplusungood websites by penalty of law.

[Hyperion]

So, does Eric Posner have his copies of Mein Kampf and Communist Manifesto on his bed stand? What a complete and utterly clueless POS.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

ISIS Gives Us No Choice but to Consider Limits on Speech

NO CHOICE! NO CHOICE!

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

they lure young men and women to their mission

You know who else lured young men and women?

[Marshall Gill]

Warty?

[Crusty Juggler]

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd?

[Hamster of Doom]

Strong candidate for tonight's MVP, you are.

[Crusty Juggler]

Someone just became one of my top five favorite Reason commenters.

You're out, Pan Z.

[Pan Zagloba]

My dreams, ruined by ruminating rodent!

I'll get you for this, Hamster!

[Hamster of Doom]

My very own nemesis for Christmas!

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd?

Eh, maybe he should go with Grady Judd-Pussy Hound. Fits his M.O. as of late.

[Crusty Juggler]

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd does not look like a pussy hound. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd looks like the sort of sheriff who manipulates the funeral homes in his county into alerting him when a fresh corpse arrives, so that he can visit the funeral home to sexually violate the fresh corpse. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd looks like the sort of sheriff who would note the date of his corpse violation in a leather-bound ledger, so that on the anniversary of when he sexually violated the corpse he could visit the gravestone of the corpse that he sexually violated to masturbate about his violation of the corpse.

Of course, I have no proof for my assertion, but when I see Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd I see a man who looks like he uses his power to practice crafty necrophilia. It is just my opinion based solely upon the way he looks.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

crafty necrophilia

Band name!

[Crusty Juggler]

Thank you for noticing that phrase, as it inspired that post.

Welcome to the top five, Trouser.

You're out, Diane.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Oh, gosh...so unexpected! And, speaking of phrases...

top five, Trouser

Top Five Trouser...kinda catchy.

[Crusty Juggler]

Wait, is that sarcasm? You bastard.

You're back in, Pan Z!

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Oh, what?!? I have to go after HoD, now, if I wanna keep my place?

Hey, you wanted pics of the water aerobics playa mentioned, right?

[Pan Zagloba]

Yes! Back in the place of power!

Let bygones be bygones, Hamster. Join me, and we shall rule the commentariat like a 17th Century Polish version of Falstaff and a rodent with penchant for destruction!

[Atanarjuat]

STEVE SMITH?

[Brian]

I suggest we create list. Call it a black... list. And, anyone who's working in Hollywood, who seems to be sympathizing with ISIS, could be put on that list. And then, people would know to boycott their productions, and to avoid hiring them.

Oh, and we could shut down their internet access, too.

Nobody would have a problem with doing something like that, would they?

[Crusty Juggler]

Commenters, all of you must channel your inner Chris Hitchens and walk to the nearest theater and yell "fire."

I will be waiting for you to report back.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

I'd rather walk to the nearest Comic-Con and yell "Nnnnneeerrrddsss!"

[Hyperion]

What about dropping 10,000 poopstickas on the U of M campus?

[Juvenile Bluster]

One of these days I'm going to run into somebody who spouts "you can't say fire in a crowded theater!" who knows the context that Oliver Wendell Holmes said that in (and that he walked it back later)

[BigT]

Sure you can:

Ready, aim, fire!!

[GILMORE?]

That is like the single most-common-pedantic-correction you find in internet comments anywhere on the internet. It should be a corollary to Godwins law. Sooner or later, someone points this out.

[d3x / dt3]

Damn, you're in a bad mood.

[GILMORE?]

I wasn't actually being snippy, i was just saying i see that "Correction" all the time (esp on major news sites)

The rebuttal seems to have zero traction with the people who actually use the claim, re: limits on speech.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

The common response to the correction is "well, it's a good point, nonetheless"

[The Last American Hero]

Just not during a Star Wars screening. People have been waiting a long time to see that film.

[Hamster of Doom]

I'm terrified. There are still so many good memories to destroy.

[Pan Zagloba]

I've decided to just treat it as a reboot. Shakespeare can handle being moved to corporate NYC, or into gang-infested LA, Star Wars can take another interpretation, even if it fails at understanding how myths work. Not that I buy Lucas was conciously building a myth, but modern myth it is nonetheless.

[Cytotoxic]

I can't wait until it turns out to be awesome and all you fools look silly.

[Pan Zagloba]

Oh, I just set the low ceiling on my expectations, but am still willing to let JJ take me to the moon (of Endor). I'm going on Thursday at 11 pm, after all...

[Juvenile Bluster]

I had no clue that Pataki was still running. Or that he still existed.

[Atanarjuat]

Lindsay Graham just said in his mincing way that he wants 10k troops to go into Syria to fight ISIL.

I was listening to Mark Levin on the way home. He was talking about how Reagan's foreign policy was different than that of the neocons. He did a long thing about how he liked Cruz better than Rubio in that regard.

[The Last American Hero]

*crosses Cruz off list of candidates to look into further when Rand finally drops out*

Thanks for saving me some time.

[Cytotoxic]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Atanarjuat]

Well, he was saying Cruz was relatively non-interventionist compared to Rubio.

[PapayaSF]

Ha.

[Hyperion]

Darth Hillary. Fitting.

[Marshall Gill]

Darth Hitlary?

[Quincy.]

"Libertarian moment?"

"PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE my young padawan"

[PapayaSF]

Rand = four letters
Paul = four letters
Yoda = four letters

OMG it all makes sense now!!

[Cytotoxic]

HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

[Atanarjuat]

So I guess the later debate (9 eastern) is the one with candidates people are actually going to vote for. I may have started drinking a bit early.

[sarcasmic]

No.

[Notorious UGCC]

All right, here's a think I've been thinking about.

News organizations like to run stories about people being arrested, describing the charges, showing the perp walk, etc.

But sometimes when I follow up to see what happened to the person, I couldn't find anything.

So you google the person's name and read they were arrested for some nasty crime, and they quote from the cops' press release, or what have you.

But trying to find out what happened afterward is kind of difficult.

Eg, remember that guy who got arrested protesting the Satanist shindig in Oklahama City a year back? That was in the news. But the only follow up I could find was from the guy himself, and he claimed the prosecutor dropped the charges for lack of evidence. Wouldn't it be nice to know from a somewhat more impartial source whether that's what happened?

And it happens a lot.

Why not say that if a news outlet has a report on its Web site about someone's arrest, and there are subsequent proceedings but the news fails to do an update or link making this clear, that that's the same as them saying the person is guilty.

In lots of cases, this won't make much difference, since the person *is* guilty.

But if they make the mistake of doing such sloppy reporting on an innocent person, that person should be able to sue for defamation.

[The Last American Hero]

Depends on the case. If a nut job with 42 weapons in his home shoots somebody, the case will be reported

1) when it happens
2) when the guy is captured
3) when the guy is arraigned
4) when the trial begins
5) during sentencing
6) when the guy reports to jail
7) during the "year in review top stories"

See, that's seven times they get to remind people how dangerous gun owners are. It also registers in most peoples minds that we live in an incredibly violent society, since people rarely make the connection that the above was one crime, not 7. If some guy is involved in a boring old free speech related altercation, it's gone by the next news cycle.

[AlmightyJB]

Have a local station who likes to run mugshots of people just arrested (not convicted) on their website all the time. Seems kinda shittie to me.

[PapayaSF]

"Where do I go to get my reputation back?" ?Ray Donovan

[Atanarjuat]

"Putin has a pair of twos, we've got a full house, and he's walking all over Obama!" --Lindsay Graham

OK, he's not all bad.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

The problem is he worked on that line all night.

[John C. Randolph]

More like, his writers worked on it for a month.

-jcr

[Palin's Buttplug]

Wingnut speak "PUTIN TEACHING OBAMMY A LESSON!"

Reality: US cripples Russia's cash crop - crude oil, economy, and lets them do the dirty work in Syria.

[kbolino]

US energy production is up in spite of the Obama administration, not because of it.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Oh, bullshit. Quit listening to redneck AM radio.

[kbolino]

Aww, you learned not to post any links, because they never say what you think they say. But you're right, I'm sure at least 8% of what the Obama administration does has not impeded energy production.

[Palin's Buttplug]

You made the contention. Where is your link?

The only thing the Obama did was temporarily halt NEW DEEPWATER drilling for a few months right after the BP disaster. Production in the US still skyrocketed.

[sarcasmic]

Production in the US still skyrocketed.

Because of drilling on private land. Had Obama made it easier to drill on public land, resulting in more oil being produced from public land, then he might deserve some credit. But he didn't. The rise in production is 100% capitalism and 0% government.

[Hamster of Doom]

If Obama flaps his ears, oil production rises.

[sarcasmic]

-1 Dumbo

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Here's another image and the link.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

The moneyquote:

"Peak Oil," if it exists, won't be reached for hundreds of years if the U.S. government would just get out of the way. About 80% of the most prospective Green River deposits are under Federal leases. The Obama administration effectively blocked exploitation of the Green River oil shale earlier this year.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Moot. The Green River basin cannot be tapped for decades:

oilprice.com

The oil shale in the Green River looks like rock. Unlike the hydrocarbons in the tight oil formations, the oil shale (kerogen) consists of very heavy hydrocarbons that are solid. In that way, oil shale more resembles coal than oil. Oil shale is essentially oil that Mother Nature did not finish cooking, and thus to convert it into oil, heat has to be added. The energy requirements -- plus the fact that oil shale production requires a lot of water in a very dry environment -- have kept oil shale commercialization out of reach for over 100 years.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

perhaps in part because

In 2010, the BLM selected for further consideration three applications for RD&D leases: two in Rio Blanco County, Colorado, and one in Vernal and Uintah counties, Utah. The Colorado lease bids were from ExxonMobil and Aura Source; the Utah bid was from Natural Soda Holdings. No leases were awarded, and they are pending results of a new programmatic environmental impact statement ordered by the Obama administration.

In 2011, the Obama administration halted further nominations for oil shale leasing until the PEIS is finished, and to allow a government review to assure that the lease terms are not economically skewed in favor of the oil companies. As of January 2015, the new PEIS has not been issued.

You're talking yourself in circles Plug.

[kbolino]

Just from Reason's own archives:

Obama Rejects Keystone Oil Pipeline
Shutting Down Alaska
Feds Delay Drilling Rights Auction in California

[Palin's Buttplug]

Good. Fuck the tar sludge from Canada. Let them keep pumping it to Illinois refineries. It still get here without ED in half the Midwest.

[Cytotoxic]

"Fuck the tar sludge from Canada."

Thanks fascist fuck. I guess this is as close as we get to you admitting that Obama is a POS that had nothing to do with increased oil output in America.

[Palin's Buttplug]

We don't don't need to force landowners out of their property to import your tar shit, you crazy Canuck.

We import it anyway. Just not to ship out of Texas. It gets refined in Illinois.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Minus your epithets, I agree. ED is awful when you're trying to lay pipe.

[Cytotoxic]

Woosh go the goalposts.

[sarcasmic]

Energy production is up because of drilling on private land. If more oil was being pulled out of wells on public land then the administration could possibly be due some credit, but it's not.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Here's a picture since I don't trust the plug's ability to read words and comprehend them.

[sarcasmic]

Don't confuse him with facts!

[PapayaSF]

"And Trshmnstr delivers a knockout to Buttplug! What a blow that was!"

[Palin's Buttplug]

Federal land E&P is insignificant compared to shale production.

Still, GOM production at an all time high (federal permit required)

http://www.eia.gov/dnav/pet/hist/Leaf.....FP3FM2&f=M

[kbolino]

The Gulf is not behind the increase in production.

[Cytotoxic]

"Federal land E&P is insignificant compared to shale production."

Yes, thanks to Obama's efforts to block drilling.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Yes, thanks to Obama's efforts to block drilling.

Same as the others. Federal oil production has been in single digits for decades.

[Cytotoxic]

"Federal oil production has been in single digits for decades."

Before fracking, which unlocked vast amounts of oil-except where Obama wouldn't let that happen.

[sarcasmic]

Federal oil production has been in single digits for decades.

Hmmm. So if federal oil production has not significantly risen while total US oil production has risen, then something else must be the cause of that significant rise. I wonder what it is...

Could it be, I dunno, maybe production on private land?

And if so, why should the government get any credit?

Makes "US energy production is up in spite of the Obama administration, not because of it." seem like a reasonable statement.

[Palin's Buttplug]

http://www.eia.gov/analysis/re.....dsales.pdf

Wrong.

[sarcasmic]

Did you even read what you posted? Federal production is returning to where it was before the glut. By the numbers in your link. As a percentage of total production it has decreased. By the numbers in that link. I was being polite and giving you the benefit of the doubt, since you seem to act like a sentient being from time to time. But this isn't one of those times.

Fuck off, idiot.

[sarcasmic]

Oh, you mean in Indian lands it has increased. Well, whoopity fucking doo! Idiot.

[sarcasmic]

Man. The numbers in that PDF are damning to your argument. Really. You should read it.

[sarcasmic]

Idiot.

[BigT]

"US cripples Russia's cash crop "

Um, Saudi.

[Palin's Buttplug]

The US passed Saudi Arabia in crude oil production in 2014.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Bro, did you even short oil this year?

Of course not. Tell me more about your financial genius...

[BigT]

As US oil production increased Saudi bumped up their production hence the oil glut.

[sarcasmic]

The Saudis are working the margins, which is fucking over the high-cost producers. Meanwhile we get cheap gas and heating oil.

Go Saudi!

[OneOut]

I don't think the Saudis are al that worried about a hadfull of independent American shale producers.

Venezula stole trillions of dollars from Saudi/Aramco by nationaliing Saudi/Aramco reserves in Venezula.

The OPEC countries have to produce no matter the cost to keep the current leaders in power and to keep the peoples food subsidies intact because most of those countries can't feed their populations.

And then there is Russia. I can't see the rest of the oil producing countries putting Russia's weell being ahead of them staying in power in their own country.

This might/does also explain why Putin is exerting a stronger and stronger grasp on domestic power within Russia.

[OneOut]

I should have said.....OPEC will continue to roduce no matter the PRICE of oil....

That is until lack of maintainence shuts down their production becuse they can no longer produce without capaitalists fixing their lack of production output.

[d3x / dt3]

You really think that was some twelve-dimensional chess move by Obama?

[Pan Zagloba]

Also, Canadian, thank you very much. Sucks to have more expensive oil, sucks twice as much being unable to move it to new markets...

[sarcasmic]

Doesn't matter. Putin has all the time in the world. After all, he's immortal.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

By letting 'them' to the dirty work, you mean letting our military do Assad's dirty work?

[Pan Zagloba]

Look, Assad did his part and murdered all the unarmed idiots who wanted a peaceful change. Now he has to do all the work with ISIS and shit, too?

[Cytotoxic]

"the dirty work in Syria."

You mean bombing the rebels that are fighting ISIS?

[The Last American Hero]

C'mon, like Graham hasn't seen the shirtless paintings of Putin riding a horse and wants to see if they are anywhere close to accurate.

[sarcasmic]

Accurate? They're totally false! He wasn't riding a horse! He was riding a weasel that was riding a kingfisher while being chased by an Imperial speeder! I've got proof!

[Pan Zagloba]

It was the only way to get the heart of Kochei the Deathless!

[sarcasmic]

Thanks for giving me something to google. Interesting tale.

[Pan Zagloba]

Witcher is a good start, but I'd love to see a game based on fantasy 12th century Russia, or 16th century Poland (shout out to Mount & Blade for By Fire And Sword).

[AlmightyJB]

I'm not so sure Putin couldn't win both the GOP and DNC primaries.

[Hyperion]

I just saw Wolf Blitzer and Lindsey Graham in the same picture. That's all I can take, I am not scrolling back up there again.

[AlmightyJB]

That's what Crusty calls a twofer

[Notorious UGCC]

"It was a kind of staging. The flagellation lasted some 30 minutes. The whip was made of a piece of garden hose and ropes. I was in physical pain, but deep down inside I was at peace. I had great comfort in knowing that I was sharing something of Christ's suffering. I was also extremely ashamed, as I felt unworthy to have even a small share in our Lord's suffering. I forgave my tormentor even as he was whipping me....I was continually amazed because I knew that I was weak, both spiritually and physically. You see, I suffer from a bad back since childhood and the prison conditions were such that the pain should have grown greater. At the monastery, I had a special mattress, an ergonomic chair. In prison, I slept on the floor, and there was no way to do any walking."

[Crusty Juggler]

A quick scan of the tweets tells me that Lindsey Graham is "winning" the debate.

The GOP should be ashamed.

[AlmightyJB]

Scrolling up and checking out the line up. What person being the winner would not shame the GOP?

[Hamster of Doom]

The constituents. Pity they don't have a candidate.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

So.... About that school closure today....
One of the kids who was turned away from the school was run over by a truck and killed. The pants shitting now has a body count.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

And the kids who tweeted in the bomb threat to get out of school are now subject to a murder charge.

Ain't the moment grand?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It wouldn't surprise me

[AlmightyJB]

How was the little kids debate. Is it over?

[Elizabeth Nolan Brown]

No. God knows why, but no.

[AlmightyJB]

CNN, please show ENB some mercy and end this circus now.

[Pan Zagloba]

The longer it lasts, the drunker all of you will get, and thus main event will hurt less.
You may even be lucky and black out before it starts!

[AlmightyJB]

How was the little kids debate. Is it over?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I'm drunk, and it's time for dinner. I'm having fajitas with 3 kinds of meat, served in a bowl made of lava rock heated up to 500 degrees.

What I'm not doing: watching the debate. Unless it's in Spanish. That might make border wall talk amusing.

[AlmightyJB]

Lava rock dining? Not without Polynesian belly dancers I hope. I hope that meat was cooked in a giant pit as well.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

HEY! I'VE BEEN WATCHING UNIVISION, EVERYTHING'S IN SPANISH, WHAT'S GOING ON?!

[Quincy.]

TRUMP IS ON TO SOMETHING! DEPORT THE MEDIA!

[GILMORE?]

" served in a bowl made of lava rock heated up to 500 degrees."

Its Cocina de Bear Gryllls

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Close. Solomon's Landing in Cabo. Just walked the harbor this morning.

And then my wife got white girl waisted and did water aerobics with a bunch of senior citizens.

After dinner, Squid Roe? Last night here.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

white girl 'waisted'? Pics or it didn't happen.

[Crusty Juggler]

Senior citizens doing water aerobics?

Pics?

[GILMORE?]

I know the place. we were almost always eating our daily catch, so i missed out on the lava-dishes.

[GILMORE?]

" Robby Soave ?@robbysoave 2m2 minutes ago

GOP Debate: Should we have more war?
- Yes
- Of course, traitor

While I find the GOP's "I'll BOMB MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OF THESE OTHERS"-sales pitch on national security as boring and retarded as anyone else...

...pretending that there's a real functional difference in Dem vs GOP policy-in-practice is epic-stupid, and yet people pretend this is the case all the time. Somehow there are lots of people in the media who genuinely argue that Obama "Ended Wars" and continues to make great strides in reducing our military footprint abroad. And everyone loves us now, unlike that HURR DURRR BOOOSH.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

He's using the Military in 'smart ways'. All you have to do to verify that line of thought is cast your eyes upward to the vocal stylings of a one Shrike.

[kbolino]

Apparently "not doing stupid shit" means "fiddle while the MENA burns"

[Palin's Buttplug]

Let it burn.

We tried for 60 years.

[kbolino]

You are literally too stupid to understand what that idiom means.

tarran, please pick up the white courtesy phone. tarran ...

[Palin's Buttplug]

No, I'm tired of you Lindsay Graham types who want the US fighting everyone else's wars.

[Cytotoxic]

Now kbolino knows my pain. Wow PB, you actually managed to be good for something.

[Cytotoxic]

Reason is also dishonest in that they refuse to comprehend anyone who doesn't agree with their foreign policy dogma is a 'war monger'.

[GILMORE?]

well i wasn't accusing robby of being dishonest so much as naive and perpetuating a stupid myth that isn't about anything other than political "Branding".

Is there anyone with a brain who doesn't already know that the GOP sells itself as "party of National Security" and the Dems pretend that they're all about "Free Stuff"?

and regardless of the maniacal stuff the GOP candidates might propose to one-up one another... does anyone really think ANY of them (trump included) would be significantly more prone to wanton-exercise of military power than a Hillary Clinton-in-Chief? She's already responsible for multiple idiotic military interventions which she's also already promised to double down on.

[Quincy.]

Pataki: Look at the Freedom tower! Make me president! A tower built a decade after I left office.

[PapayaSF]

I can't see Lindsay Graham without thinking of Grady Sutton.

[AlmightyJB]

His voice also reminds me of Cleveland Brown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtEgkxrH_MQ

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Unscientific observation: Previous debate threads had high comment counts this far in. We're at 104 comments, and most are off-topic, not relating to specific debate points.

I for one am proud of my fellow commenters.

[AlmightyJB]

I'm not watching either of them. I do appreciate the Reason team doing the jobs I don't want to though.

[Cytotoxic]

Aha! They're Mexicans!

[Quincy.]

Cat picture time!

[AlmightyJB]

I can't really tell what's going on. Is he dissecting a cat?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

No, that's an epic spliff.

[Rhywun]

I think that kid beat me up in 7th grade.

[Quincy.]

I was looking for pictures of presidential candidates interacting with cats. Rubio's brother-in-law wins by default .

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Honorable Mention?

[Quincy.]

Did Trump personally paste his toupee on this feline? Fail.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

As fricking annoying as this all is, at least #GOPDebate is on a night when people watch. Dems fighting Hunter reruns on Sat nite

Nicky G: Like all red-blooded American boys, I had a huge crush on Dee Dee.

[Pan Zagloba]

Trust me, it wasn't just American boys! Dynasty girls had nothing on her (except, of course, Her English Magnificence, but even then we knew there were lines you don't cross).

[sarcasmic]

I'm a sucker for lots of eye makeup.

[Crusty Juggler]

I knew a pretty lady who had her name spelled "Stepfanie." When I correctly guessed that her mother was inspired by Stepfanie Kramer, I won her heart.*

Also, Fred Dryer was awesome.

*For like six minutes.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Dryer was Bad Ass. Didn't he play in the NFL for realz? Too lazy to google.

[EMD]

Yes

[Blueman]

What are the rules for the drinking game?

[Rich]

DRINK!

[Blueman]

Fair enough.

[Rhywun]

They're in the tunnel - I have a feeling I'm watching the start of the lamest Premiere League match ever.

[Crusty Juggler]

If Donald Trump was a cat and the Republican Party was a heavily bundled child.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Oh god, this is a foreign policy debate?

[Atanarjuat]

Chris Christie's suit jacket button should get an honorable mention.

[Atanarjuat]

I want to put a baby in the anthem singer.

[Quincy.]

She sings good. Who do we get for the half time show?

[Palin's Buttplug]

For you Peanuts:

Federal and Indian land oil production 2014 = 651 million barrels - more than the average 2003-2008.

http://www.eia.gov/analysis/re.....dsales.pdf

Now to make fun of these douchebags.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Oh, and apologies accepted.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Look at the percentage columns dickweed.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Federal Oil PRODUCTION was higher in 2014 than the average of the Bush years.

Just say you lost.

You need to step into reality.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Percentage of US Total Oil production on Federal Lands:

2003: 33%
2014: 21.4%

It's in your own link.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Because all the tight shale is on private land, dumbass.

And federal production still went up!

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Nope... indian land production went up.. federal land production went down 4% since 2003.

[Pan Zagloba]

Look, if you can think if one group that is more like family to US Indians than the federal govt, I'd like to know!

[Palin's Buttplug]

You're cherry picking 2003.

An honest person like myself averaged the Bush years.

And to boot, an average of the Obama years is higher than the Bush years.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Crude oil production from federal lands decreased 4% between FY 2003 and FY 2014 (Figure 1,
Table 3). Production in the federal offshore declined 13% over that period, which outweighs the
49% increase in the federal onshore volumes over the same period. In FY 2014, the federal
offshore still had the majority (77%) of total federal crude oil production, but its share declined
compared with FY 2003 when it comprised 85% of all federal crude oil production.

link

[Sevo]

Poor turd.

[Apatheist ?_??]

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AlmightyJB]

Drinking out of dirty glass?

[Quincy.]

Politics if fighty, fighty is bad. Agree with me because fighty is bad.

[Atanarjuat]

I've got some respect for Fiorina, but she's had too much plastic surgery to be president. WTF is she looking at?

[Quincy.]

MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION EVER SINCE LAST TIME!

[Atanarjuat]

Rafael Cruz' pauses in his prepared speeches are creepy as fuck.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Wait did Trump just add Japan to the evil foreigners list?

[GILMORE?]

He still remembers the 1980s, when Japan was China before China was China.... WE WERE LOSING

[Pan Zagloba]

"On this, whatever anniversary if Pearl Harbor attack...."

Seems legit!

[Atanarjuat]

"Trump is awesome. Thank you very much."

[Apatheist ?_??]

TENS OF THOUSANDS OF CELL PHONES WITH ISIS FLAGS!!!!!!!!

Where the fuck does he come up with this shit?

[JeremyR]

It happened in Norway. Only 100s, but they found a lot of ISIS flags and pictures of ISIS killings on "migrants" phones.

[GILMORE?]

I'm sure there's a smattering of truth in some of these stories, but it gotten to the point where "You Wont Believe How Many Muslim-Rapes Happen Per Hour In Scandinavia" is a running joke

[Quincy.]

EMP over Raqqah. Disable every cell phone in a hundred mile radius. Cripple the social media campaign for weeks until resupply of new phones. Repeat as needed.

[Rhywun]

I like it.

[Pan Zagloba]

Are you an LG or Samsung shareholder, by chance?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Welll Cruz is a giant pussy for completely deflecting the question about Trump and talking about Obama. And then fucking deflecting again when asked to answer the question.

[Quincy.]

You go Girl! Hide the Crucifix behind the mike!

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: I will fight fear with FEAR.

[Rhywun]

+ large amounts of spying on Americans.

[SIV]

Hey Christie! No retards were harmed in the San Berdoo attack. It was all public health bureaucrats.

[Apatheist ?_??]

As a former Federal Prosecutor, he's partial to government bureaucrats.

Did you know he's a former federal prosecutor?

9/11

[commodious spittoon]

Whatever, man. Just... whatever.

Is there some stylistic rationale for using normalcy that I missed? Kurt Schlicter, who reads like the right's answer to smug latte-swilling Manhattanite gliberals, threw it into an article like it's nothing, but the word always derails my attention. Is it a dog whistle for Harding aficionados?

[Tonio]

Warren Harding campaigned on the return to normalcy.

[commodious spittoon]

And he was wrong but I forgive him.

It just gets my dander up is all.

[SIV]

"Normalcy" was about rolling back the progressive era. Letting political prisoners out of dungeons, rehiring Black people fired by the government because of their race and other stuff like that.

[Tonio]

Why is Kasich even here?

[Quincy.]

Rubio hasn't mentioned his father is a bartender, therefore America, in how many minutes now?

[SIV]

So when's the movie coming out?

[GILMORE?]

Little known secret = KMW was the voice of Jar Jar

[Fist of Etiquette]

HAVE SOME RESPECT ONE OF THESE MEN MIGHT BE YOUR PRESIDENT ONE DAY

[Quincy.]

The only president I respect is Tom Mason.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Marco!

[Quincy.]

Polo!

[commodious spittoon]

Pollo!

[MSimon]

Poy yo.

[commodious spittoon]

Yolo.

[Quincy.]

Polio.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: The People want action, they want it good and hard, and I'm ready to give it to them.

Federal Prosecutor

9/11

[Rhywun]

they want it good and hard, and I'm ready to give it to them

Thanks for that image, jerk.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Carson: We need to declare war on people congregating in public spaces!

[Tonio]

Radical supermarkets....

[Quincy.]

Black man wants to open skulls in name of national security.

[Tonio]

But not with scissors!

[Quincy.]

Ben Carson: Dremel pitchman.

[DEG]

Debate? Fuck that. I have more important things to do. Like drinking Moa's Imperial Stout. It's excellent.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Well I'm watching because my judgment is impaired from drinking through a growler of this 14% abv imperial stout.

[DEG]

That looks good.

[Tonio]

I want more time...I don't want to answer that question.

[Quincy.]

White man wants to open skulls in name of national security.

[Tonio]

White woman wants to scull in the opens in the name of national security.

[Quincy.]

scull in the opens

Please tell me that's a sexual metaphor.

[Tonio]

Our government has become incompetent...corrupt. [fans self]

[MSimon]

OK. You can tweet the debates. But can you whistle them?

[Tonio]

Al Gore's idea, you teathuglican!

[Apatheist ?_??]

Kasich: I will penetrate people.

[GILMORE?]

Ok, i turned it on for one second and - verbatim - this is what i hear

Trump = "ISIS is using the internet better than we're using the internet. And it was our idea. And we need to use our smart people to get them off the internet."

Wolf = "Would you be open to closing parts of the internet?"

Trump = "Yes I would".

And then i turned it off.

I blame everyone. The candidates, the media. CNN. I can't believe anything this stupid is on TV.

[Tonio]

We have to solve the encryption problem.

We have to give local authorities the ability to penetrate.

[IndyEleven]

And Officer Erection Friendly just offed himself today. Poor timing.

[Tonio]

No, great timing. Oh, you meant...

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Wolf: Senator Cruz, would you carpet bomb Raqqa where ISIS is?

Cruz: I wouldn't carpet bomb a city, I'd carpet bomb where ISIS military is!

[GILMORE?]

DROPPING CARPETS IS FOR LOSERS

[Quincy.]

HARDWOOD FLOORS FTW!

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Prayer Carpets?

[commodious spittoon]

What the hell is this, 1940? We don't carpet bomb cities, we fly unmanned drones to pinpoint targets. And sometimes we even kill the enemy.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

uh oh JEB! just said "unamerican activities" McCarty comparison in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

[commodious spittoon]

Jeb said, "the FBI has the ability to monitor UN-AMERICAN ACTIVITIES." Having Joe McCarthy flashbacks. Gonna get #blacklisted . #GOPDebate

Not that it matters, he's trying to win over primary voters.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Trump: I will murder people's families.

[SIV]

If he means the House of Saud, I'll vote for him.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Trump: WE NEED TO OUT-ISIS ISIS.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I think Jesse Walker stole that from you. It even has the same punctuation.

[Quincy.]

Just bomb something already.

[Tonio]

I'm a tough guy. Really. I am.

[Tonio]

What is a "constitution?"

[Quincy.]

37 states? I sell the best tasting steaks that were ever tasted in more than that already. Pfft,

[Apatheist ?_??]

Oh please I want to see Trump pronounce Qatar.

[Rhywun]

"Quitter"?

[Quincy.]

QUUATTARR. It's the sound of him coughing up a toupee hairball.

[GILMORE?]

I believe this interview is probably 100X more substantive and informative than the current GOP debates.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Ted Steven's corpse has a better understanding of how the internet works than Donald Trump.

[Tonio]

Kurds, Governor?

[Rhywun]

No whey.

[Quincy.]

Putin already has to much power in the region.

[SIV]

Rand Paul wouldn't pull out of the Geneva Convention? Pussy.

[Not okay]

Fuck sakes, the only one with a lick of charisma is Trump. Can somebody espouse liberty with a fucking ounce of passion for once?

[Tonio]

You keep using this word "charisma". I don't think you know what it means?

[Not okay]

We can disagree here because it's pretty subjective, but I don't think I'm wrong.

Here's the important point, the president can't make libertopia with his pen and his whatever. He just moves the national debate. That means the president is a salesman. I like Paul most, but that guy couldn't sell shit. A president not only needs good ideas but he needs to convey them in a way that people buy them.

Trump's ideas are stupid, but he's a salesman. The closist proximate is Cruz but I'm left wanting for Rand with charisma. I think you get my point, if I have one.

[Rhywun]

Except Trump is not espousing "liberty" in any way, shape, or form.

[Palin's Buttplug]

But he is great at selling his shitty ideas.

[Rhywun]

Yes, he is.

[Not okay]

I don't think he's espousing Liberty. I'm saying I want his charisma in someone who does.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Clowns don't have charisma.

[Rhywun]

Can somebody espouse liberty with a fucking ounce of passion for once?

Rand Paul is the only one I see coming close. Maybe Cruz, a little. Trump? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

[Tonio]

OMG, that's a big, ornate crucifix. Christ, I bet even Eddie wouldn't sport one of those.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: I will defeat the Persian Empire!

[Sevo]

He is Greek, isn't he?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Just happened to check in and saw this. No, not Greek. Irish, German, Scottish, Italian.

http://ethnicelebs.com/chris-christie

[Sevo]

Shucks!
Here I had in mind Christie the Great rampaging through the Mid East and dying young!

[Crusty Juggler]

My proposal: the United States government secretly re-hires Ed Snowden to infiltrate the internets to give us the real scoop on ISIS.

[RAHeinlein]

+1 bored debate viewer...

[Tonio]

I'll defeat ISIS by shutting down lanes on the GW Bridge.

[Apatheist ?_??]

When things go wrong in New Jersey they look to me, and they do it a lot because I'm a big fat fuck up.

[Quincy.]

Dabiq or bust!

[Tonio]

Wow, Carson was just waiting to give that military strategy speech he'd been rehearsing all week.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Cruz: I offer unicorns, not those non-existent purple unicorns.

[SIV]

Kasich and Rubio and Jeb! side with Salafists over Shiites

[Quincy.]

You know who else wanted to extend a crescent across something?

[Tonio]

My eighth grade social studies teacher?

[Quincy.]

Trump is shovel ready.

[Quincy.]

CARSON LIKENS FOREIGN POLICY TO A PLANE CRASH!

[Tonio]

Oxygen masks. He's using a professional analogy.

[Quincy.]

I'm not a pilot, Jim, I'm a neurosurgeon!

[VG Zaytsev]

Rand is too long winded.

Should've said:

No the Iraq war was not a good idea, it was obviously a mistake.

[Ms. Eleanor Lavish]

He should have said: Brawndo is what plants crave.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Serious Question: If one of the presidential candidates responded to debate questions solely with quotes from Idiocracy, would they get elected?

[VG Zaytsev]

Rand is too long winded.

Should've said:

No the Iraq war was not a good idea, it was obviously a mistake.

[Rhywun]

And he should have said it twice.

[Tonio]

It's all about air time.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Two post is a bit long winded.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Rand's camp definitely bussed some people into the debate based on the cheers. And Cruz clearly doesn't like them letting Rand speak.

[Rhywun]

Sounds like a cheerleader squad.

[Tonio]

Anyone know what that Trump heckler was saying? I heard "billionaire."

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: We need to stop this evil Iranian oppression of ISIS.

[SIV]

ISIS and al Qaeda are "our friends and allies in the region".

[Apatheist ?_??]

Are these guys fucking kidding me, the problem is Shia radicalism?

[SIV]

Hillary, Jeb!, Kasich, Rubio, Lindthy Graham, the U.S. State department, Christie, Saudi Arabia, ISIS, al Qaeda, John Mccain, Fox News, every neocon all do.

Trump, Carson, Cruz and Paul seem to disagree.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Sheesh. He's been annoying, sure, but Labeouf hasn't killed anyone. Just gotten in a fight or two.

[Quincy.]

Rand Paul hates Utopia: Ten reasons you should vote against him!

[SIV]

I'm not the biggest fan of Utopia. If you drive south to Sabinal though I highly recommend Nora's Tacoson US 90. There's free high pressure air at the gas station across the street. Bring your own tire pressure gauge

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Kaisch: Make the world a better place, punch a Russian in the face.

[VG Zaytsev]

Jesus Christ.

Kasich just called for war with Russia (in addition to Syria, Iran, ISIS, Disneyland,....)

[Tonio]

Oh, Kasich just called for Iraqi Kurdistan, and called for "punching Russia in the nose." He's like Lindsey Graham, only...

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

In other news, Jonah Goldberg says GILMORE is killing it. Didn't know he was a fan of the commentariat here....

[Sevo]

And G has nothing on Apatheist this evening...

[Tonio]

+1 Former Virginia Governor

[Palin's Buttplug]

The bitch is cray-cray.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: I will eat Putin.

[Rhywun]

Get in my belly!

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rand says Fat Boy wants WWIII.

That made watching this shit worthwhile.

[Tonio]

Oh, damn, Paul just demolished fatboy.

[Rhywun]

That was excellent. 3/4 of the audience have no idea what he's talking about.

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

Yeah, that was awesome.

[Quincy.]

Republicans debate WWIII: What you need to know now to survive the primary.

[Tonio]

Vaultco!

[Pathogen]

Vault-Tec?, you fuckin' Philistine!

You're on my list, now.. I've got my eye on you..

[Tonio]

Don't diss the B-52, Jeb.

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

Look, our military only outnumbers and outclasses the next nine countries combined! I'M SCARED!!!

[Apatheist ?_??]

Wow, Trump actually sounds like a whiny bitch this time.

[Tonio]

Well, if he is a sham candidate, this is where he'll begin his exit.

[Crusty Juggler]

His horrible supporters (of which there are many) will not allow it.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Cruz's speaking style is a lot like Tony Blair.

[Quincy.]

Cruz's Arsonist/Fireman line burns.

[Tonio]

Fahrenheit 451

[Rhywun]

"Mr. Trump, we're thinking of going to commercial. What is your opinion of this?"

[Quincy.]

"You already know what's queue'd up on the deck."

[Rockabilly]

Machete don't tweet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SNN7mWPJSk

[SIV]

Nick Gillespie Retweeted

Meghan McCain Verified account
?@MeghanMcCain

Going after the media is a really easy distraction from giving a substantive answer if you don't have one. #GOPDebate

Not quite as bad as when Nick pledged his loyalty to Janet Napolitano but this is an endorsement retweet.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I mean, Meghan is right on this one.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

She's bad! She can't BE right!

[SIV]

She's a blonde heiress with a world class rack but she's a total idiot.

[Apatheist ?_??]

SIV: I like fat chicks except when they open their mouths.

[Tonio]

Arming a sub-national group who have dodgy ethno-linquistic allies in neighboring countries.

[Quincy.]

#EMPLasVegas

[Quincy.]

Sorry, #EMPLasVegasNow.

[Tonio]

Former Federal Prosecutor(tm). Srsly, what is this, like the fourth time he's said that?

[Apatheist ?_??]

No its over 10 for sure. It's pretty much last place for things on the resume to me but he sure is proud of it.

[Rhywun]

It's a huge turn-on for his targeted base.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: I was Longteroso in a fat suit all along!

[Ms. Eleanor Lavish]

Kasich's karate chop hand movements are driving me crazy.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

*logs in*

Christ, this thing is still going on? What are you people doing?

I was watching the Fargo finale (excellent) and catching up on The Knick (also excellent). Now I'll make fun of you masochists until I fall asleep at my desk.

[Rhywun]

I'm DVR'ing "Childhood's End" and "The Expanse" so I have something better to watch after this shitfest.

[Crusty Juggler]

Let me catch you up:

The GOP wants to take America right into the danger zone.

[Pan Zagloba]

Sterling Archer would be a credible GOP candidate...

[Crusty Juggler]

+ six gummibears and some scotch.

[Pan Zagloba]

Now I have to link this.

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

Agree on Fargo, although last week's UFO was a little silly.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

The UFO was an interesting choice, but I'm fine with it. A nice over-the-top reminder that all this fighting is pointless.

Also, that story Lou tells about the Vietnamese family on the Chinook was real. I know that thanks to this community!

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

I'd heard something similar, or at least I thought I had when I was watching the finale tonight. It helped draw out some of the themes of this season. I hear the producers have signed on for another year, but the next season won't be released until spring 2017...that's a fucking long wait.

[SIV]

The Knick has great costumes, sets and props. It is better than most period shows on the details. That alone makes it pretty good but it could be so much better.

[Tonio]

Kasich busted an ISIS sympathizer and links them, somehow, with human traffickers.

Also, does NexGen Climate Action really think they have an audience here?

[SIV]

Kasich is the biggest ISIS-sympathizer in the race. He has Marco beat on pro-Sunni fanaticism and that isn't an easy accomplishment.

[Quincy.]

N. Korean operations require Psy ops.

[Tonio]

These aren't the norks you're looking for.

[Quincy.]

*waves hand*

[EMD]

Swiss? Where are you?

[Tonio]

Carson just said V-2, then corrected himself.

[american socialist]

Does anyone have a plunger? There's a bunch of shit on CNN right now.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

You DVRed the Donk Debate?

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

Well, that's CNN for you. It's a pretty shitty network in general.

[Sevo]

"There's a bunch of shit on CNN right now."

Not anymore. You just got HERE.

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

Shikha gone full retard on twitter.

[Pan Zagloba]

It's her default position. That Twitter feed is like an orphan mine for someone with appreciation for derp.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Trump: Nuclear, the power and the devastation are very important to me.

No need to paraphrase there.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Me: Threading is difficult.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Shikha gone full retard on twitter.

Who has my Surprise Face?

[Not okay]

I'm in favor of oppression and against free speech.

[Tonio]

Oh, Carson is so chum in the water.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Rand should have hammered the debt thing before his closing statement but it doesn't appear that GOP voters give two shits about government spending.

[Quincy.]

Fuck Ohio.

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

Said Kasich on that state's budget.

[Quincy.]

I wanna imagine Christie in Navy Seal gear chasing terrorists, but google just spits picture of some dude named "Baron Harkonnen".

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

You did know he was a Former Federal Prosecutor, right?

[Apatheist ?_??]

9/11

[Quincy.]

You did know he was a Former Federal Prosecutor, right?

That he's grotesquely obese somehow makes this somehow right or excusable or whatever? Fuck you weirdo.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

*Hands Quincy some new batteries for his sarcasmeter*

[Quincy.]

Batteries fine. Just trying to surf the weird. Splash.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Thank you, Sir.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Kasich: I will connect to your hearts with just the tip.

[Aloysious]

I just got off work. Has anybody punched Lindsey Graham in the face yet?

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

and Miss Lindsey has such a very punchable face! He did just called on candidates with little support to drop out. His lack of self awareness is staggering.

[Aloysious]

I will donate $100 to the first candidate that does a professional wrestling-style clothesline on Lindsey Graham. Or throws a shoe at him. Either or.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie: Give me your children and I will protect them from 9/11.

[Quincy.]

Yum.

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

"Get in my BELLY! It's the only safe space!"

[Apatheist ?_??]

Fiorina: I know how to listen to overpaid consultants who tell me to repeat jargon.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Bush: _______________________

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

alt Bush: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Apatheist ?_??]

Nah, Carson makes me sleepy, Bush doesn't even register.

[Wizard with a Woodchipper]

I'm like a parent watching their kindergarten age kid on stage when it comes to Carson. Oh, shit, Why is he stuttering? Did he just mispronounce a word? I cringe when he talks and feel a little sorry for him. Jeb! is like white noise. It makes me laugh when the Trumpster pushes Jeb!'s big old buttons, though.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Rubio: Dream and Rebuild!

[Pan Zagloba]

Peter Suderman @petersuderman
Trump is to the GOP primary race what the Mule was to the Foundation.

Now that's some nerdier-than-thou reference! Approved!

[Apatheist ?_??]

Cruz: *canned message with unnatural pauses in speech for EMPHASIS*

[Apatheist ?_??]

Carson: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Apatheist ?_??]

Trump: America sucks, vote for me you stupid fucking idiots!

[Quincy.]

Hey. anybody here drinking more than usual?

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

I wish. I'm stone cold sober, working on getting my finals done before Thursday. I could use a stiff drink or 5.

[Rhywun]

Only because I'm on a stay-cation.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

I'm a little pissed that nobody picked up on my laying pipe double entendre. Commentariat, you disappoint!

[Pan Zagloba]

I chuckled, but thread was moving so fast. Also, you managed to get both Cytotoxic and PB to post around it. It's like being in a chemical spill.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

That explains the melting skin and glowing hands.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Trump post debate: This was elegant as shit. And I know taste!

[Apatheist ?_??]

Trump post debate: I like being the center of attention.

The scariest part of his support is how blatant he is. Apparently the key to polling success is honest idiocy.

[PapayaSF]

Well, since the establishments of both parties specialize in dishonest idiocy.....

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What in the fuck are you guys watching?

[Pan Zagloba]

I'm watching an Australian chick play Portal 2 really badly and making Harlan Ellison references in chat.

[GILMORE?]

Ice Station Zebra.

[Crusty Juggler]

Spoiler: Rock Hudson is gay.

[GILMORE?]

its like a totally different movie now

[Crusty Juggler]

I just recently watched it, and read the book. The movie isn't great, but it is still pretty cool.

[GILMORE?]

We were talking about Guns of Navarrone earlier... and i'd mentioned that it was the same writer as "Where Eagles Dare", and figured i'd check and see if anything else he'd written had made it to the screen. I'd seen it before, but i think it was on daytime TV in like the 1980s when i was home sick from school. I think i found it rather implausible then as well.

[Sevo]

Cal, tanking in another ball game...

[Apatheist ?_??]

Lol, what morons decided to do the post-debate panel outside in the wind.

And who the fuck is this woman who sounds like a retarded chipmunk?

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Retweeted by The Jacket!

Almost as good as a hat tip ...

Nick Gillespie Retweeted
Tyler Wesson ?@ttylerw 2h2 hours ago
@allahpundit @nickgillespie Trump hates Muslims like ALF hates cats ..

[american socialist]

Dear Reason commentariat,

Help! I'm pretty set on Trump for President because of his libertarian positions on abortion and moving the Berlin Wall to the Rio Grande. But, I'm unsure exactly which warmonger who wants to "bloody [nuclear superpower] Russia's nose" to support for VP. Any ideas?

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV?

[american socialist]

Some say that he ended the Cold War because he got all those commies to love him after his electrifying speech about how "we alls can change". I-- unfashionably-- credit mikhail Gorbachev.

[Quincy.]

#NukeRussia #FluoridateTheRioGrande #TRUMP2016

[GILMORE?]

Bernie sometimes says very nice things about Russia, but actual Russia-loving socialists fucking hate him, apparently

"Lenin accurately described leaders like Sanders as "opportunists and social-chauvinists," saying, "They are defending the temporary privileges of a minority of the workers?" Back in 1916, Lenin urged his followers to "go down lower and deeper, to the real masses? teach the masses to appreciate their true political interests, to fight for socialism and for the revolution."

The following year, Lenin and the Bolsheviks were victorious. Capitalism, along with its mischievous and demagogic defenders like Bernie Sanders, was overthrown in Russia. That was nearly 100 years ago. How this battle will play out among 21st-century leftists remains to be seen."

[Quincy.]

I love the addition of "Vermont Socialism" to the communist lexicon, and anticipate the purges.

[GILMORE?]

There are some funny comments, where soppy American lefties like AmSoc are like, "YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG!! WE HATE AMERICA TOO??!!! BUT BERNIES THE BEST WE GOT?!"

[Quincy.]

You listen to VPR too?

[GILMORE?]

nope.

its just funny to see the same people who go, "Bernie's not a commie! He just wants to make the US more like Europe!" all the time...

... change their tune to "Yeah, I know *he's not perfect*, but we'll never destroy capitalism without incremental changes!! Dont get me wrong - we want Israel to be destroyed too?!!"" when the Harder-Leftists criticize them for their ideological squishyness.

[american socialist]

Ted Cruz 2016 bro!

[Quincy.]

I'm surrounded by that kind of socialist. Landed, invested, mortgaged, Volvoed. A top 5% so keen for a revolution that will have them lined up against a well splattered wall.

[Sevo]

Commie kid. Stupid enough to do anything.

[Apatheist ?_??]

This is John level stupid.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

In honor of Derpetologist, an unofficial, unsanctioned Tales from the Derp(book):

There's a picture of a note written in crayon in a child's handwriting that says "Daddy, come to my room. I need to tell you something that will help save your life."

The accompanying comment:

This is the note that fluttered off of the balcony late this evening. Apparently, [child's] gym teacher has been teaching the children about nutrition and the dangers of soda. The following are nuggets of wisdom [child] picked up from class:
"Soda is made by scientists, Daddy. SCIENTISTS! And they have to add a whole bunch of sugar just to cover up the taste of chemicals."
"You have to drink 32 glasses of water for every Coke you drink just to wash away the sugar."
"Coach [name] showed us a picture of a shot with a needle and yellow stuff in it and told us that if we like to drink a lot of soda, we could be looking at our future."
"I had Sprite at dinner tonight so I'm done with soda for the rest of the month."
[Child's] 2nd grade conversations about soda sound similar to the 2nd grade conversations I had about cigarettes.

It would be cute if (a) the indoctrination wasn't so disgusting and (b) the parent wasn't posting it in fawning adoration/nostalgic pride.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Sounds like childtard is against the scientific consensus. Was this post advocating burning it on a stake?

[GILMORE?]

""SCIENTISTS!""

They also make the GMO!

but the good ones share their knowledge of the global warms. so, you know, science is complex.

[AlmightyJB]

Scientist have proven that the validity of science depends on politics.

[SusanM]

A hard-hitting documentary of Rand Paul's presidential bid

https://youtu.be/Hd755bbc8uw?t=354

[Apatheist ?_??]

This would have been more appropriate after the release of his immigration bill.

Bold Prediction: Rand gets a sneaky 3rd/close 4th in Iowa and drags this bitch out longer.

[SusanM]

I see him fizzling in mid-January. Not glad about it but I just don't see him going any further.

[Apatheist ?_??]

His debate was good, I think he'll bump enough to barely get in the next debate again and he'll have a stronger ground game in Iowa than expected.

I think people are forgetting how volatile the race was at this time in 2012 and there were less candidates then. Gingrich was leading at this time for fucks sake and Santorum was nowhere.

[Apatheist ?_??]

CNN interview with moron SC sign holders: derp!

[Fun at Parties]

So many tweets.. so few likes for them. Is it due to lack of friends or are the comments just missing the mark completely?

[EMD]

We just secretly hate the Reason writing staff.

[EMD]

We just secretly hate the Reason writing staff.