Ted Cruz Takes Lead in Iowa, Russia Fired on Turkish Ship, New Independence Day Trailer: A.M. Links


  • 20th Century Fox

    Leaders of governments around the world struck a deal on climate at Paris, but as Republicans are wont to point out, the deal's only good so long as those governments continue to back it.

  • A series of new polls in Iowa show Ted Cruz taking the lead in the Republican presidential contest there. A new head-to-head poll, meanwhile, has Hillary Clinton defeating Donald Trump but losing to Ben Carson and Marco Rubio.
  • Russia said it fired on a Turkish ship to avoid a collision in the Aegean Sea.
  • Women in Saudi Arabia got to participate in local elections for the first time, by voting as well as running for office.
  • Human rights lawyer Pu Zhiqiang is on trial in China, facing charges of inciting hatred, "picking quarrels," and "provoking trouble."
  • A banned Sunni extremist group claimed responsibility for a bombing at a marketplace in Pakistan that killed at least 20.
  • Melor, a category 3 typhoon, is expected to make landfall in the Philippines.
  • A trailer was released for the new Independence Day movie.

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  1. Women in Saudi Arabia got to participate in local elections for the first time, by voting as well as running for office.

    First suffrage, then prohibition, if the Saudis aren’t careful.

    1. Hello.

      “A trailer was released for the new Independence Day movie.”

      I thought America used up their martyr points with Randy Quaid.

      1. We will be doubleplusgood independent. Independent of the laws of economics and nature. So sayeth Obama.

      2. That doesn’t sound much like a thank you, commie. If it weren’t for us y’all would be speaking Nazi or whatever.

        1. Aliens speak Nazi?

          1. Them alien whatsits speak Mexican, mostly.

            1. Nah. Look at those alien faces. The eyes…obviously Chinese.

              WAKE UP PEOPLE!

    2. Then ending Prohibition.

  2. A trailer was released for the new Independence Day movie.

    Oh no! It wasn’t on YouTube, was it?

    1. Is it a double wide?

    2. Are they remaking one of the worst movies ever made?

      The only way that movie could have been worse is by putting Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis on an asteroid at the end.

  3. Kerry says Paris agreement crafted to avoid Congress

    “It doesn’t have mandatory targets for reduction and it doesn’t have an enforcement, compliance mechanism,” Kerry said during an interview on “Fox News Sunday.”

    Kerry said such mechanisms were not included because Congress would have refused to greenlight the deal.

    Binding legal requirements would have made the Paris agreement a treaty, requiring approval from two-thirds of the Senate. Because no climate change measure could close to the high bar in the chamber, the Paris deal was written to avoid it.

    Feel good accord…

    1. Just like little, petty tyrants of yore.

    2. You know who else thinks the agreement is a farce….

      James Hansen, the father of Global Warming, er… Climate Change

      Of course, that means it is a good agreement.

      1. It’s amazing, outside progsites, people are able to now call climate change for what it is: A scam.

    3. As long as it only requires borrowing money to have something to hand out to your cronies as subsidies, congress will green-light it. As soon as it involves hamstringing our economy directly through regulations that put us at a direct disadvantage against places like China and India, not so much.

    4. Why are Lurch and his boss not on trial?

      1. Meh. My problem is that these same people talk about how others “exploit” “loop holes.”

    5. So Congress is also not obliged to transfer all the money we “promised”? These guys really are the Vicinis of politics.

  4. …the deal’s only good so long as those governments continue to back it.

    GOP raining on everyone’s parade. (Increased rain is caused by Climate Change, BTW.)

    1. P.S. There’s no link there.

  5. http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-…..ced-during

    But we can totally vet hundreds of thousands of Syrians.

    1. Somehow the feds have time to hassle Reason about the “special place in hell” comments, but failed to notice the “ISIS is better than titties” comments from someone who recently visited Saudi Arabia.

      1. Ouch, how true.

    2. Absolutely! Cytotoxic told me so. I’m sure he’s already renting out a room to a Syrian family up in Canada.

      1. In Cytotoxic’s defense, I’m not sure there’s extra room in his mom’s basement.

        1. Plus, he’s like 12, and even in Canada that’s too young to act as a landlord.

  6. A new head-to-head poll, meanwhile, has Hillary Clinton defeating Donald Trump but losing to Ben Carson and Marco Rubio.

    Hillary can’t win when double teamed?

    1. I think the Trump bubble is about to burst. That will likely leave Cruz the winner. After all the media butt hurt over Trump get ready for “but Cruz is really The Hitler” butt hurt.

      1. Is everyone Hitler then?

        1. No. Only those with an R by their name on the ballot. Do try and keep up.

          1. It’s Hitlers all the way down.

        2. We are all Hitler.

      2. It seems like the media is already trying that. I don’t think it will work, though. You don’t get multiple Hitlers per election cycle. And Trump was a solid pick for the Hitler because a lot of what he says sounds pretty damned fascist. Cruz, on the other hand, is a very careful guy. As well as very quick on his feet. I think he’s going to have a solid response to that preplanned to his advantage.

        1. You can still expect to see a lot of arguments like, “Look, why would good independents want to vote for Cruz? He’s got all of those Hitler supporting trump voters in his camp. Guilt by association!”

      3. I think the Trump bubble is about to burst.

        I think I’ve heard this prediction at least thirty times in the last five month.

        All while every trophy hunter seeking Trump’s scalp has instead been destroyed themselves.

        But I’m sure that it will be different this time.

        1. I have personally made this prediction every day for the last couple of months. I’m notoriously bad at this game, but I still stick by my analysis. When it comes right down to it, nobody is going to actually vote for this clown.

          1. /remembers his infamous Al Gore will be the 2008 democratic nominee comment, and moves along to a different branch of the comment thread.

            1. Right when Tim Duncan was graduating, I decried him as a “bulkier Brad Sellers type draft pick”.

              /my entry into the bad prediction Hall of Fame

              1. I decried him as a “bulkier Brad Sellers type draft pick”.

                My thoughts and prayers are with you.

          2. Well I suppose a stopped clock is right twice a day.

    2. Eugene lights the SugarFree signal. From a powerful searchlight atop Reason headquarters, a beam illuminates the clouds with the silhouette of an engorged pancreas…

      1. Hillary is the only winner when she gets double teamed. How could anyone else be considered to be winning that?

        1. [pukes in mouth a little]

        2. [pukes in R C Dean’s mouth a little, cries]

          1. *becomes aroused by male in male vomit

            1. C’mon, you were already as hard as you could get from the thought of double-teaming Cankles.

  7. Kansas deputies confront nude Oregon man taking pictures

    Kansas authorities say an Oregon man was urged to head home after he was spotted taking pictures of a wheat field wearing nothing “but a hat and a smile.”

    The Harvey County sheriff’s office in Central Kansas says the man was first spotted Wednesday afternoon.

    Sheriff T. Walton says authorities found the man four hours later ? wearing boxers.

    Walton said on the office’s Facebook page that an officer told the man and his friend that “Kansas is not as liberal as Oregon” and “suggested they continue their travels” back home.

    1. At least he’s not dead?


      1. I was at my neighbor’s monthly beer-drinking get-together, and some guys started talking about someone they know named Steve Smith. “How’s Steve Smith doing?” “Anyone know what Steve Smith has been up to lately?”

        And I had to awkwardly suppress laughter… Thanks you lunatics on this site.

    3. At least he was smiling ?

    4. That Kansas wheat…so enticing…always waving at strangers.

    5. They couldn’t justify shooting him because he couldn’t make a furtive movement toward his waistband.

      1. +1 hanging from the lampshade

      2. Also because Kansas cops aren’t as liberal as Northeast cops

    6. sowing his oats?

    1. Heheheh.

  8. Men have a better sense of direction than women, study says

    Researchers at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology recently conducted experiments to learn more about gender and sense of direction. The researchers administered testosterone to women and tested how they performed in “wayfinding tasks” in a virtual environment.

    Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), a technology that measures brain activity, the researchers saw that men in the study took several shortcuts, oriented themselves more using cardinal directions and used a different part of the brain than the women in the study.

    “Men’s sense of direction was more effective,” said Carl Pintzka, a medical doctor and doctoral candidate at the university’s Department of Neuroscience, in a press release. “They quite simply got to their destination faster.”

    1. It’s because of our built in homing device.

      *must… find…. nookie…*

    2. Research assistant: “They’re raping our women!”

      Head researcher: “Right. What we need to do is confirm something’s that nagged me forever.”

      RA: “The rise of crime in Norway?”

      HR:”Right. Are men better with maps than women?”

      RA: They are. The end. Can we get to the violent crime rates?

      HR (turns and walks away stroking chin): Right. Right….

    3. They have never met my wife. Deadly accurate. I use her instead of Waze now.

      1. We split. My wife is better finding her way around outside, but I’m better inside a building.

        1. Yeah, finding what floor your dentist is on is real difficult.

          Oh. You mean, like Jason Bourne in the U.S. embassy? That’s you?


    4. Any guy thats been on a road trip with their wife can confirm this.

      1. Not me. Mrs. Dean has an eerie ability to glance at a map when leaving the house, and then drive straight to where she wants to go, even when its a drive of several hours.

        1. My wife, poor thing, can’t give directions or read a map to save her life. The is sharp as a tack with everything else, but when it comes to navigation she is just awful.

          Typical exchange on road trips:

          Me, driving and looking at signs – “Where am I supposed to get off?”

          Her looking at map and spinning it around – “Well, you were supposed to get off two exits ago. You passed it up.”

          Me – “I passed it up? Me?”

          *I pull over and take out my phone, open google maps*

          1. My wife is very good at the “TURN RIGHT HERE!!!” scream while I’m in the middle of the intersection. After violently turning once or twice, she’s learning to give me at least 100 yards notice.

        2. My wife gets lost while using gps. Nashville is her Kryptonite.

    5. On road trips, I am always the navigator. It’s because of my compulsive planning and love of maps. I will almost always “drive” the route beforehand on Google maps street view.

      On camping trips, I am always the firemeister. Because fire.

    6. Some women are atrocious at directions, for sure. I’ve met more than a few who admitted they couldn’t read maps. Wtf? That’s like saying you don’t know the alphabet. But we’re not all like that.

      1. Well my wife is great at GIVING directions…

  9. Good for Kerry. That climate treaty plus $50 should be able to get him a steak at Booby Van’s near the White House.

    1. *Bobby. Kind of wish it was Booby though.

      1. A steakhouse with boobs? Might be better atmosphere than the old run of the mill steakhouse.

        1. [Hooters owners take notice and plot new menu]

        2. That’s already a thing. See Rachel’s in Orlando, etc.

      2. Have Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd been there?

    2. “Booby Van” just gave me a great business idea.

      1. Might play better in Japan.

    3. I had no idea there was a Bobby Van’s near the WH.

      But the Tadich Grill is next on my list, so Bobby will have to wait.

  10. Women in Saudi Arabia got to participate in local elections for the first time, by voting as well as running for office.

    Socqatar moms.

  11. Russia said it fired on a Turkish ship to avoid a collision in the Aegean Sea.

    Ordnance is cheaper than a new paint job.

    1. Or turning the rudder, apparently.

      I kinda admire the Russian sensibility on these kinds of incidents. Instead of something plausible, they give a laugh-out-loud silly excuse – in effect daring you to do something.

      Probably the same reason they skirted into Turkish airspace. Just to flip off NATO and say “what are you gonna do about it?”

      1. Just to flip off NATO and say “what are you gonna do about it?”

        Shoot down their plane, apparently.

        1. Yeah, I don’t think Putin thought for a minute that the Turks would have the balls to do that, nor did he waste a moment worrying over the risk to the lives of the pilots.

          He seems to spend his life probing for weaknesses and then exploiting them when he finds them. When he doesn’t, he pretends that he never did any such thing. It is a good way to maintain a thousand batting average.

    2. Ze air horn was broken, comrade. Ve needed to fire 5 short blasts*…

      *Failure to understand actions or intentions

  12. Transgender woman leaves wife and 7 kids to live as a 6-year-old girl

    After 23 years of marriage and seven children, a transgender woman is taking a chance on living her truth ? however controversial it might seem.

    Stefonknee Wolscht began her transition six years ago at age 46 and now she is living as a 6-year-old girl.

    “Stop being trans wasn’t something I could do; that’s like telling me to stop being 6-foot-2 or leave,” Wolscht said of her wife’s ultimatum in a clip.

    “I can’t deny I was married,” she said in an interview with Daily Xtra. “I can’t deny I have children, but I don’t want to be an adult right now.”

    Now Wolscht, who used to hide her true identity by cross-dressing, is living with a new adoptive family.

    “I have a mommy and daddy, an adopted mommy and daddy, who are totally comfortable with me being a little girl,” she said.

    Wolscht said she colors and does kid stuff with her new family, which includes her new 7-year-old sister.

    1. “I have a mommy and daddy, an adopted mommy and daddy, who are totally comfortable with me being a little girl,” she said.

      “Very, *very* comfortable,” she added, with a wink and a giggle.

      1. If ever there was a case where you SHOULD call child protective services…

    2. Sounds like quite a deal. 12 years of complete responsibility free living then just a few years of work before retirement. If we all could get such a sweet gig.

      1. If we all could get such a sweet gig.

        Sounds like pubsec work, to me.

      2. If this is the same guy, he actually started as an 8 year old. Then some legitimate little girl in his family (hopefully not being abused) turned 7 and wanted a little sister, so he became 6 years old. Technically he could be a minor until he dies of old age.

    3. The Onion? A SNL sketch?

      1. You are just a transphobic bigot Drake. The trannies are the new sacred class.

        1. He does kind of look like Chris Farley playing a school-girl.

        2. They are now, and it’s astonishing how quickly it happened. Over night it seems like being a confused man who mutilates their genitalia has become to cool thing to be.

          What about that guy who had all that plastic surgery to look like a lizard? That man is trans-species how come nobody celebrates him?

          1. The progressive stack is a bit like an MLM scam. If you spend a ton of time pumping the cause and recruiting new members, you too might someday see your day at the top of the stack.

    4. When is it appropriate to suspend the NAP for a couple of seconds to slap someone around a bit?

    5. Being trans doesn’t preclude one from being mentally ill, as I’m sure many here will agree.

      1. Not sure how this will come across, but are there any trans people who could be considered well adjusted?

        1. Um, define “adjusted”.

        2. If they had a good surgeon, yeah.

        3. There are plenty, you just don’t read about then in headlines because sane, balanced people don’t make interesting news stories. So, to cite only one example: Deirdre McCloskey

          1. I might suggest that anyone who requires extensive cosmetic surgery to reconcile their mind and body is, definitionally, not “well adjusted”, whatever that might mean anyway.

            1. If you don’t think the term “well-adjusted” means anything or has no fixed definition, how can you categorically exclude people as being “definitionally” unable to meet such a standard?

              1. It’s hard to imagine a value for “well adjusted” that is inclusive of people who require surgical genital deconstruction and a lifetime of hormone therapy for purely psychological reasons that wouldn’t strip the term of whatever gossamer thread of meaning it has left in the first place. But yes, I’d argue the term is already basically meaningless in either a professional or casual context, considering the shift in normative behavior over the last half century.

    6. Kind of like the perfect metaphor for this whole fucking annoying movement….
      When I was growing up, being a “trans-person” was something so far and away from anything that anyone would ever experience… Now, I guess – what?- 50% of our population are trans? Judging from the number of stupid fucking articles about this ridiculous bullshit…

      God, we are fucked….

      1. Gee, that means half of us are trans-something.

        /looks around nervously holding Monty Crisco.

        1. holding Monty Crisco

          go on…

          1. MC: Hey. Watch where you hands go!
            Rufus (in Shaggy voice): Like sorry. I’m so nervous!

            /looks around biting nails.

    7. Somehow, I’m more bothered by the spelling “Stefonknee” than anything else.

      1. Is it supposed to be some kind of pun about being a little kid sitting on a grown-up’s knee?

    8. The picture in this link is the image in my brain of how SugarFree looks as he lets out a cackle and clacks away on a typewriter.

    9. I really like how he thinks that he cannot stop being 6′-2″ but apparently thinks he can stop being 46 years old.

      1. That’s the craziest part… Who knew you could just declare yourself to be a different age than what you actually are? Why didn’t anyone tell me this? I went through so much bullshit trying to get alcohol before I was 21. To think I could have just marched into the liquor store and claimed that I identify as a 21-year old man!

    10. Just curious: since Stefonknee identifies as a 6-year-old girl, does the local public school have to admit her to first grade?

    11. Stefonknee

      What. the. fuck.

  13. Russia said it fired on a Turkish ship to avoid a collision in the Aegean Sea.

    Russia’s just going to be here firing it’s weapons in this direction, if Turkey floats into that area it’s Turkey’s fault.

  14. Russia fires on Turkish ship…

    Fred Thompson had something to say about this type of business.

    1. Russians, dump taking, plan, etc.?

    2. It was….

      [wait for it]

      …. a Turkey shoot!

  15. Colorado ACLU Board Member: Shoot Trump Voters ‘Before Election Day’

    Loring Wirbel, board member of the American Civil Liberties Union’s Colorado chapter and co-chair of the ACLU’s Colorado Springs chapter, called for supporters of GOP presidential hopeful Donald Trump to be shot before they vote for the billionaire businessman.

    Comparing Trump to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels, Wirbel wrote in his Facebook page:

    The thing is, we have to really reach out to those who might consider voting for Trump and say, “This is Goebbels. This is the final solution. If you are voting for him I will have to shoot you before election day.” They’re not going to listen to reason, so when justice is gone, there’s always force, as Laurie would say.[…]

    When confronted for offering “extreme fear-mongering,” Wirbel didn’t back down. “I think Cruz is just as dangerous, but I don’t think likening Trump to Nazism is fear-mongering at all,” he replied.

    1. He was probably fired for being too pro gun rights

      1. ^hah. nice

    2. So — to prevent a lot of expected murder by supposed fascists we have to do the mass murder thing first. That is why we are called Liberals.

      1. Wasn’t it Bill Ayers who said real revolution in the US would require a few million deaths? Maybe this guy is just asking for a down payment on that.

      2. MS nailed it.

      3. Oppressors seem to always consider themselves victims. Remember for all the master race talk of the Nazis they primarily saw themselves as victims of an evil Jewish conspiracy.

    3. So, the ACLU is for gun rights after all.

    4. I don’t think this is too far outside the general prog thinking. He was just dumb to say it out loud.

      1. And certainly lends credibility to Epi’s theory of lefty animism. They just cannot trust themselves to resist the malign temptation of those guns.

      2. These threats are just typical online bluster. Nothing to see here.


  16. A trailer was released for the new Independence Day movie.

    It looks fairly generic but not terrible. I’ll probably see it because I love the original.

    1. Hand in your “I have taste in movies” card. Also, this was funny satire.

      1. Non-privileged primitive users can cause the total destruction of your entire invasion fleet and gain unauthorized access to files.


        1. Among the myriad things that were tragically wrong with that movie, programming a hack into an alien ship in a DOS prompt on a Mac laptop was perhaps the most comical. At the time I wondered if it was something they did to make it more accessible to the audience while doing the Apple product placement, or if they were lampshading the absurdity.

  17. Pot-laced brownies brought to school lounge; teachers sick

    HIGHLAND TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) ? Authorities say three suburban Detroit teachers got sick after eating marijuana-laced brownies put out in a school lounge.

    Oakland County sheriff’s officials said Friday that deputies were called Wednesday to Spring Mills Elementary School in Highland Township on a tainted food complaint. A teacher became ill the day before and later tested positive for marijuana at a hospital.

    Police say two other teachers felt sick but didn’t seek medical treatment.

    The deputies recovered the remaining brownies. Tests revealed they contained the active ingredient in marijuana.

    1. Isn’t that where Humungus lives?

      1. I’m a west coaster Michigander

        1. Suuuuuure.

    2. A teacher friend says this is a big deal in their school. Was it the biggest student prank?

  18. New Research Says It’s Time To Stop Masturbating So Much

    Brain scans conducted on people with porn addictions found that the part of the brain that lights up is the same part that lights up when a heroin addict has just injected heroin. Yikes.

    So masturbation does a great job of flooding the brain with dopamine but it doesn’t produce much oxytocin, which combats the dopamine. This makes excessive masturbation dangerously addictive. Excessive dopamine can even make your brain more stressed out.

    “Since dopamine is the precursor to the stress hormone epinephrine (adrenaline), excess dopamine results in the adrenal glands overproducing epinephrine and putting the body in a prolonged state of fight-or-flight stress,” says Dr. N.K.Lin. “At the same time, norepinephrine is synthesized from dopamine and released from the adrenal medulla into the blood as a hormone, along with the stress hormone cortisol.”

    1. Rubbish! We still see Epi commenting here.

      1. Now carry that through to it’s logical conclusion.

        1. What is the sound of one hand typing?

    2. Excessive dopamine can even make your brain more stressed out.

      And here I thought it just made you feel guilty.

      1. Just wait until researches discover that it causes hairy palms and blindness.

      2. “Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster.”

    3. masturbation does a great job of flooding the brain with dopamine but it doesn’t produce much oxytocin, which combats the dopamine

      and counteracts palm-hair growth.

        1. “I’ll stop when I need glasses.”

          1. I’m not swallowing that, either.

    4. Sugar free must be the most stressed out man in America

      1. I deny myself my own vital essence.

        1. Because it’s not pure?

          1. Because it bursts into flame when exposed to oxygen.

          2. Because he can’t reach with his T-Rex arms.

    5. I saw nowhere in the article where it said just what amount constitutes ‘excessive’? Is it like ten times a day?

      1. I believe it’s considered excessive when one ejaculates bile.

      2. Only when you’re 70 is ten times a day too much.

    6. I’m not swallowing that.

      1. You’re able to swallow?

        *Yes. I deliberately wanted to plaster that mental image into all of you.

    7. Oh. MY. God. People are engaging in perfectly healthy behavior and ENJOYING IT!!! JESUS!!! Something MUST be done!! We’ll call it an epidemic and tell them how “experts” think it is bad for them!!!

      Stupid shit like this makes me want to never read anything ever again….This fearmongering bullshit is LITERALLY a degradation of the act of reading…

    8. “Brain scans conducted on people with porn addictions found that the part of the brain that lights up is the same part that lights up when a heroin addict has just injected heroin. Yikes.”

      All kinds of normal behavior stimulate this part of the brain. It is a reward for doing something right or good for you. That heroin lights it up without being good for you or furthering your survival chances is the problem, not the other way about.

      That is some pretty fucked up fear mongering.

    9. Former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders disagrees.

      President Clinton fired outspoken Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders on Friday for telling an AIDS forum that she believes masturbation “perhaps should be taught” to schoolchildren.

    10. And the progressives have gotten back to trying to stamp out masturbation.

      Have some corn flakes, kids!

  19. The new first-class air travel for the super (super) rich

    The latest advance in air travel exclusively for the super-rich shows the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger.

    Windspeed Technologies, which bills itself as a “premier aerospace engineering services company”, has released details of a system called SkyDeck that allows passengers to observe the view in-flight from on top of the plane.

    The system features a semi-external glass “teardrop canopy”, or a pod, protruding out the top of a plane, where passengers can sit. The company says it will “provide an exhilarating view of the aircraft’s external environment while in flight” and will be available soon.

    TW: Autoplay

    1. the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger

      Flying itself is something of a luxury. People who write this kind of shit must live in a bubble. But I guess not one that is on top of a plane.

      1. This bubble. What’s it made of?

        1. Mortgage-backed securities.

      2. yeah, and the people who will be flying like this will be the people currently whining about inequality the loudest.

        1. That …. and climate change.

          But, of course, they will also be its beneficiaries.

    2. Meh. Let the super super rich have it. Yay, from a bubble on top of the fuselage I can look at … the sky. Wonder how noisy it would be cruising at 350 mph.

      1. Yeah, a bubble on the bottom might be better.

        I’d go for that if I were really rich and liked to waste money. I always like looking out the window on plane and often wish I could see more in other directions.

        I don’t imagine the noise would be any worse than anywhere else on the plane.

        1. I think that the next step is to get rid of passenger windows altogether to save on wind-drag, and have lcd monitors with better views of what you are flying past.

        2. I had a great uncle who got to view Germany from a glass bubble in a plane. He didn’t enjoy it much.

          1. You know who else…hey, wait a second…?!

          2. Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.”
            Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.”
            The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

            Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
            Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”
            Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”
            Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, — And I didn’t land.”

          3. I’m guessing that the view wasn’t the part that spoiled it for him.

          4. kinda sucks when they shoot back…

    3. Uh, the super rich don’t fly commercial; they fly private/chartered.

      1. It looks like it’s a feature intended for charter/corporate/privatge jets.


    4. shows the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger.

      No it doesn’t. Even supposing it did somehow show that the rich are getting richer, which it also doesn’t, that still says nothing about an income or wealth gap.

    5. 1930:
      The latest advance in air travel food refrigeration exclusively for the super-rich shows the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger.

      The latest advance in air travel home cooling exclusively for the super-rich shows the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger.

      The latest advance in air travel portable telephones exclusively for the super-rich shows the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger.

      New products enter the market at the high end and then, if they are really useful, filter down to the rest of us.

      1. 1960:
        The latest advance in intercontinental jet transportation exclusively for super-rich “jet-setters” shows that the gap between the rich and poor is getting bigger.

    6. Of course many of the things the ordinary person now takes for granted were once the exclusive domain of the “super-rich.”

  20. “picking quarrels and provoking trouble”


  21. Human rights lawyer Pu Zhiqiang is on trial in China, facing charges of inciting hatred, “picking quarrels,” and “provoking trouble.”

    College students around the U.S. applauded the Chinese government for standing up to oppression.

    1. Nobody puts the Puzhi Qiang on trial.

  22. facing charges of inciting hatred, “picking quarrels,” and “provoking trouble.”

    The entire H&R commentariat should avoid China…

    1. But it’s OK if we pick trouble and provoke quarrels, right? RIGHT?!

      1. *looks through Party diktats*

        That is not forbidden, yet. Carry on.

        /Chinese bureaucrat

  23. Man rapes grand-daughter, mom kills her

    An Egyptian man pulled his two-year-old granddaughter from her mother’s arms while she was asleep and raped her, prompting the mother to kill her daughter to avert a scandal, newspapers in the Arab country reported on Thursday.

    The 59-year-old grandfather, identified as Faraj, waited for his daughter Merfat, 23, to go to bed before pulling her daughter out of bed and raping her in his room at their house in the East-central town of Sohag.

    Newspapers said the mother, after discovering what happened, drowned her daughter in a water bucket to avert a scandal in the conservative countryside town.

    Police arrested the mother and her father on murder and rape charges, they added.

    1. I’d say mom’s plan backfired.

    2. Lemme guess. The Jews made them do it.

    3. So nothing happens to him.

      /applies for Egypt visa.

    4. Well that’s upsetting on a few different levels

    5. Charged with rape and murder. So….progress?

      1. So Egypt is more interested in prosecuting perdophilia than Rotterhdam England?

        1. BA-ZINGA!!!

    6. I should point out that one of the weird assumptions many American feminists make is that if women in conservative societies were granted more freedom; they’d overturn the patriarchy.

      The reality is that among the lower classes in conservative societies, women often are more zealous protectors of the social order than men. IIRC, in a higher percentage of Egypt women support genital mutilation of girls than the percentage of men…

      1. Well genital mutilation is for the benefit of married women not men or boys. The idea is to make it so their husbands have no one to cheat with.

    7. I have an idea! Let’s import one hundred thousand people from cultures like this without any idea who they are. What could go wrong?

      1. How many grandmothers from conservative countryside towns are looking to come to America?

  24. Florida man hears helicopter, calls 911 to turn himself in for growing pot

    Edgewater police said Jasper Harrison, 47, heard a helicopter hovering Wednesday morning over the storage unit where he lives in Edgewater and assumed the police were there to arrest him for growing marijuana in the unit.

    Police said Harrison hurriedly called 911.

    “I’m the guy they’re looking for,” the Orlando Sentinel quoted him as telling the dispatcher. He said he wanted to surrender without being shot.

    However, police said the helicopter actually belonged to a local news station covering the investigation of a suspicious death at the home next to the unit.

    1. Lesson: If you want to turn yourself in, do it through an attorney.

      1. Pot farmers shouldn’t test their product too much.

    2. Floriduh Man has let himself down more times than the Cleveland Browns.

    3. The paranoid should avoid MJ

    4. Did they need to mention that this was a Florida resident? Isn’t that obvious from the context?

    5. “He said he wanted to surrender without being shot.’

      Way to bury the lede.

  25. Hispanic activists vow to flood voter rolls with 1 million immigrants, punish Trump, GOP at polls

    Immigrant rights activists have vowed to sign up 1 million immigrants ? mostly Mexicans ? for citizenship and then quickly register them to vote in time to punish Donald Trump and his fellow Republicans at the polls in November for their harsh rhetoric.

    The advocates say the new voters could make a difference in the presidential race, where most of the Republican field has tacked to the right in word and policy, and in key Senate races in Illinois and Florida, where Republicans will be reaching to hang on to critical seats.

    With nearly 9 million legal immigrants already eligible to become citizens, the 1 million goal is not far-fetched. The activists say they are counting on energizing another 2 million Hispanic citizens who have turned 18 since 2012 and who they believe will turn out to vote to defend fellow Dreamers, or young illegal immigrants, against Republican calls for their deportation.

    1. Like the Dems weren’t already on it?

    2. Somehow, I feel that Step 1 is optional and that many activists will procede straight to Step 2 if they can get away with it.

    3. Doesn’t this have the potential to backfire? What better to get more people on board for Trump’s immigration policy then a bunch of immigrants threatening the GOP. This plays right into Trump’s “Immigrants are taking over” type rhetoric.

      1. Doesn’t this have the potential to backfire? What better to get more people on board for Trump’s immigration policy then a bunch of immigrants threatening the GOP. This plays right into Trump’s “Immigrants are taking over” type rhetoric.

        You act like increased polarization is a bug and not a feature of activists’ activism.

    4. Funny how the craziest conspiracy theories sometimes turn out to be “Plan A” for people, for reals.

    5. Are they unaware how long citizenship takes to get?

      1. Once Obama puts his pen and phone to work, a couple days, maybe a week, tops?

  26. This Day in History

    1799 – George Washington died at age 67.

    1819 – Alabama became the 22nd state in the United States.

    1911 – Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man to reach the South Pole, beating an expedition led by Robert F. Scott.

    1939 – The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations.

    1967 – DNA synthesized for the first time.

    1981 – Israel formally annexed the Golan Heights.

    1985 – Wilma Mankiller became the first woman to lead a major American Indian tribe as she took office as principal chief of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma.

    1989 – Nobel Peace laureate Andrei D. Sakharov died in Moscow at age 68.

    2012 – Adam Lanza, age 20, forced his way into Sandy Hook Elementary School, in Newtown, Connecticut, and killed 26 people. The victims included 20 children between the ages of six and seven.

    1. “1939 – The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations”

      TAKE THAT! I guess that showed ’em.

      1. For invading Finland and Poland. They got to keep huge swaths of both countries after the war.

    2. Know who died on this day? In 1476, Vlad III the Impaler. And Adrian II in 872; the last married Italian Pope.

      The question, naturally, is did he do anal?

      1. Vlad or Il Papa?

        1. You really have to ask? I doubt Vlad was into safe sex.

      2. Well, *Vlad* certainly did.

        1. He was called “the Impaler” for a reason, you know.

    3. “So, who was born today?”
      “Why, nobody, Hugh.”
      “No, I mean in history. Before they changed the water.”

  27. Stocks More Overvalued Now Than 2000 and 2007 No Matter How You Look at Things

    Currently, stocks are extremely overvalued by multiple methods.

    The first way is by looking at Cyclically Adjusted P/E Ratios commonly known as CAPE, Shiller P/E, or P/E 10 ratio.
    The second is by looking at median P/E and P/S (Price to Sales) measures

    1. shriek hardest hit

    2. So what is overvalued? Energy and retail have been crushed.

      And why not just look at the regular P/E ratio – which is 18. Well below 2000 and 2007.

      1. 8% below?


          I remember that idiocy on full display here.

          Standing by my prediction of $700/oz about the time the Fed funds rate hits 1.5%.

          Goldbugs are idiots.

          1. about the time the Fed funds rate hits 1.5%.

            Will any of us still be alive when this happens?

            1. Shreeek is like Nostradamus, or a stopped clock.

            2. Will be .25% this month’s Fed meeting.

              two hikes in 2016.

              so about the end of 2017 or first quarter of 2018.

              Gold has stubborn holders. They believe their bullshit.

              1. Gold has stubborn holders.

                People who hold physical gold do not hold it, typically, as an investment. They hold it as an insurance policy.

                I acquired physical gold several years ago. My average price on it, if memory serves, was around $1100/oz. I now have exactly as much gold as I bought – I haven’t lost (or made) a thing on it. Which is good, because that’s not why I own it.

            3. let’s see. 7 years to raise by a quarter of a basis point. Carry the 3…*scratches head*
              Um, no.

              1. Shriek was insisting on $300-$600 oz gold over a year ago. He will ramble on about it the rest of his life, I reckon.

                1. Quit lying. I’ve always said $700.

                  Now that it looks likely you need to move my target.

                  1. I really hope you’re right. I’ll buy shit tons of gold at $700. That’s a friggin steal!

    3. The junk bond crisis is going to force a lot of the big players to raise cash and push stocks lower. I’m moving cash into US Treasury backed funds for the time being until specific short selling opportunities become more apparent. I’m looking at you Apple.

      1. Apple makes a shit ton of money. P/E is about 11 iirc. Why not short Amazon? Their P/E is about 120.

        1. Their stock price is supported by huge buybacks and their chart sucks. Amazon is also a prime target for shorting though.

        2. Why not short Amazon? Because Tesla and Netflix exist.

    4. They may be a tad overvalued, but more so than 2000? I’m calling boooolsheeet.

  28. this is just a silly editorial about “White Debt” from the NYT. I just found it funny that it was posted on derpbook by a Jamaican woman who came here to get an advanced degree and was offered a multiple-6-figure/year job immediately on completion. If only she’d had some white privilege on top of that!

    1. They’d give her cherries to top it off!

    2. Wait, she has a piano?

      Where’s my white privilege piano?

  29. A banned Sunni extremist group claimed responsibility for a bombing at a marketplace in Pakistan that killed at least 20.

    Absurd and unpossible! They could not have done it….they were banned for Allah’s sake!

  30. The Trans Women Who Say That Trans Women Aren’t Women

    This year, however, Highwater joined Twitter, where she began to follow the furious battles between trans rights activists and those feminists derisively known as TERFs, or trans exclusionary radical feminists. The radical feminists?who, to be clear, don’t represent all feminists who think of themselves as radical?fundamentally disagree with trans activists on what being a woman means. To the mainstream trans rights movement, womanhood (or manhood) is a matter of self-perception; to radical feminists, it’s a material condition. Radical feminists believe women are a subordinate social class, oppressed due to their biology, and that there’s nothing innate about femininity. They think you can’t have a woman’s brain in a man’s body because there’s no such thing as a “woman’s brain.” As the British feminist writer Julie Bindel?a bete noire of many trans activists?put it, “Feminists want to rid the world of gender rules and regulations, so how is it possible to support a theory which has at its centre the notion that there is something essential and biological about the way boys and girls behave?”

    1. a bete noire of many trans activists


    2. Eek. These people (if that’s not an othering term) used to be called RadSep (radical separatist) feminists, because they wanted to live apart from male society . . .

      1. They should do that.

      2. I thought we used to just call those people lesbians?

        1. Well, the can’t be lesbians, because that would require their thinking that gender is an actual inherent characteristic and not a social construction.

  31. Oil prices drop towards 11-year lows on worsening glut

    Oil prices fell for a seventh straight session on Monday, coming close to 11-year lows, on growing fears that the global oil glut would worsen in the months to come in a pricing war between leading OPEC and non-OPEC producers.

    Brent crude LCOc1 fell by 3.4 percent to below $36.70 a barrel for the first time since December 2008 and U.S. West Texas Intermediate (WTI) CLc1 sank 2.5 percent below $34.70 a barrel.

    Brent traded less than 50 cents above the lows last seen during the 2008 financial crisis of $36.20 a barrel. If Brent falls below that level, that will be its lowest since mid-2004, when talk of a commodity super-cycle was only beginning.

    1. The junk bond market is getting hammered as a result.

    2. Worsening? I’ll take it. Saw gas for less than $2 for the first time in quite a while.

      1. Just do what you can to protect your retirement account.

        1. Yeah, I know it’s not all good. But characterizing the oil supply that way seems like unnecessary editorializing. There are upsides and downsides to everything.

      2. 1.64 here in Denver

      3. I buoght gas for $159.99 yesterday.

    3. Gold:oil ratio at 30, which is high. Gold to fall or oil to rise. 5-20 is normal range. If I did this kind of investing, I would short gold and be long oil.

      1. Yes, the futures guys eho thought they were geniuses for spotting an inversion at the $43 spot and $46 six month future are provably fevrishly trying to find buyers at $35.

  32. Kevin Williamson: President Trump (or Cruz) Will Have a Pen and a Phone, Too

    President Obama’s operating principle is: If Congress won’t do what I want, I’ll do it on my own through executive orders, Constitution be damned. The president’s approach here has to be understood in the wider context of the Democratic party’s newfound commitment to totalitarianism: attempting to repeal the First Amendment, seeking to lock people up for expressing unpopular political opinions, proposing that Americans be stripped of their constitutional rights (with no due process, trial, or appeal) if the president puts their names on a secret list, outlawing unapproved criticism of political figures by private citizens, denouncing political opponents as “traitors” and demanding that nonconformists be punished for “disloyalty” while making glib references to martial law, etc.

    President Obama ran as the great civil libertarian ? remember all that stink about the PATRIOT Act and library cards? ? and commenced to out-Cheney the cartoon version of Dick Cheney that exists in the Democratic imagination: comprehensive domestic espionage, more drones than an apiary convention, massive (and massively illegal) electronic surveillance, etc.

    1. This dipshit Williamson has forgotten The Decider – the real unitary executive.

      1. still hopin for change.

      2. On June 20, 2002, the United States Supreme Court decreed, in the case of Atkins v. Virginia, that the mildly mentally retarded were categorically exempt from capital punishment, reasoning that fully functional adults of diminished mental capacity were as a matter of law not as culpable for their acts. Writing eloquently in dissent, Justice Scalia drew a sharp distinction between the severely mentally retarded (who are truly not responsible for their actions), and the merely stupid (the category into which Mr. Atkins undoubtedly fell). Scalia argued forcefully that, with respect to the merely stupid, at least sometimes they deserve to be punished for their antisocial and destructive behavior.

        This comment, of course, is not about capital punishment. It is a response to PB’s comment above. However, the above discussion is relevant because I initially had reservations about writing this comment at all. After all, it is clear to everyone who has read any of PB’s past “comments” that PB is not a paragon of clear reasoning, exemplar of familiarity with facts, nor a model of English language expertise. But after subjecting myself to reading the above “comment” from PB, it became clear that none of the above-described truly plumbed the depths of mental vacuity to which PB is clearly capable.

        It is impossible to read PB’s “comment” and come away with the impression that you have read anything other than the completely unedited ramblings of an idiot.

        1. with respect to the merely stupid, at least sometimes they deserve to be punished for their antisocial and destructive behavior.

          I believe everyone is redeemable – it does seem that shriek has been punished for his antisocial and destructive behavior….he is serving a life-sentence as himself.

        2. Why do you guys deny that which is obvious?!?

          It’s not sentient!!!!!

      3. Williamson hasn’t forgotten at all. He was quite explicit about:

        “President Obama ran as the great civil libertarian ? remember all that stink about the PATRIOT Act and library cards? ? and commenced to out-Cheney the cartoon version of Dick Cheney.

        Obviously, if he remembers Cheney, he remembers Bush. And he understands that Obama has out-Bushed Bush as well.

    2. If only there were an iron law covering this sort of thing we could see it coming and take prudent action to avoid it.

  33. Woman is wounded in stabbing at a Florida nudist resort

    Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue crews were called to the Sunsport Gardens resort in Loxahatchee around 9:30 a.m. Sunday.

    Capt. David Toohey tells The Palm Beach Post that a woman was treated at the scene and then flown to a hospital.

    The resort’s general manager, Morley Schloss, tells The Associated Press that the 18-year-old woman had been walking on a nature trail when she was stabbed multiple times by an unknown person.

    Schloss says police are searching the area with dogs. The resort is partially surrounded by densely wooded areas, about 60 miles north of Miami.

    1. What was she stabbed with at a nudist colony? Oh…ooh but it can’t be that sharp.

    2. Morley Schloss is a terrible name for a nude guy.

  34. The U.S. Economy Is Still Missing 6.4 Million Jobs

    In June 2014, the American economy reached a momentous milestone?it recovered all 8 million or so jobs it had lost in the Great Recession.

    But a new study out Monday from the Georgetown University Center on Education and the Workforce says that that celebration was premature. The economy is still missing 6.4 million jobs.

    Those missing jobs represent the difference between the number of jobs now?148.9 million?and what employment would have been had the recession not interrupted job creation?155.3 million. If the economy manages to add at least 205,000 jobs per month, that divide will close in 2020.

    1. When they talk about recovering lost jobs why don’t they take into account that the population who needs jobs is constantly growing due to graduation and immigration. It’s not good enough just to recover what you lost, you need to gain a lot more to get back to the point you were at with your new bigger population.

      1. I’m pretty sure these numbers include that. If they don’t then there is a lot of uncertainty, since our retiring Boomer population should also be pushing people out of the workforce for legitimate reasons. That is, unless these numbers are based on the number of eligible working age people, they are meaningless.

      2. The other thing they miss is that a very large fraction of the ‘new’ jobs are part time jobs, or at least less than 40 hrs/wk. The fraction of time the whole population is employed has dropped.

        When jobs were being created in the 80’s under Reagan they kept calling them McJobs. but that is much more appropriate now.

    2. Did they check between the sofa cushions?

    3. I wonder if the shreiking moron could tell me of a single time during his two terms when more people were in the workforce than the day before Obama came into office?

    4. Winter of Recovery, Version 6.0


    1. While taking no position on whether the airport workers were actual islamists, this is only going to make things worst. The actual islamists are going to say “see, the west hates Islam.” The French Muslims who already have trouble finding work are going to see even the few menial jobs they can hold dry up. The French did this to themselves; most of the paths out involve atrocities.

      1. I don’t know about this anymore. The argument reminds me of how Canada walks on egg shells in fear of upsetting Quebec separatists. ‘You can’t do that it will anger the separatists!’

        At some point, people get fed up and call the empty bluff. If your enemy is weak it won’t matter. Just like Quebec can’t and won’t separate (for endless reasons) what the heck can those assholes do really? Better to confront and not let things fester, no?

      2. It’s France’s fault even though virtually every country with a large Muslim minority has the same problems. Can we stop with this “It’s France’s fault” meme? The facts don’t seem to support it.

        1. And most of those other countries also refuse to assimilate their muslims. Having said that, there’s also a refusal on the part of many muslims to assimilate, but why bother to when that won’t lead you to a job or a better life?

          1. How the hell is anyone supposed to force Muslims to assimilate. What sort of criticism is that? France wasn’t forcing people to westernize so they brought on this the attacks.

      3. They don’t kill people because “the west doesn’t like us”. Listen to what these people say, they are not lying about the reasons they want to kill.

    2. Grammar … how does it work?

  35. New Study: Government Breaking Down More Often, Because GOP is Stingy

    …a new study finds the rate of “breakdowns” in government performance is steadily increasing year by year? and blames Congressional Republicans, claiming they “have cut budgets, staffs, and collateral capacity to a minimum.”

    Has the number of government breakdowns increased over time? The answer is yes, and significantly so. A review of news interest surveys since mid-1986 reveals that the government had twenty-three breakdowns in the almost fourteen years to January 2001 (1.6 per year) compared with forty-eight breakdowns in the fourteen years since then (3.3 per year). Government breakdowns were relatively rare during the first decade of the thirty-year period but began to increase during the second decade and accelerated during the third. At the current rate, government will set a contemporary record in the number of post-2001 breakdowns under President Barack Obama. Government is currently running at 3.5 breakdowns per year, which means that the president will exceed the record before his successor is elected.

    1. Nothing. Left. To. Cut.

    2. Couldn’t be that the government has been growing during that period of time providing more opportunities for government breakdown than a smaller government does? Nah, all government is good.

    3. Some friends were over a few weekends ago who complained about the government in Kansas. Which is bad because it’s tea party-led apparently, and “they had to ask for money from the voters.” My thoughts were “isn’t that always how government should get money?” and then “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” But it is a bad thing to them, money should be always ready for the government programs, no need to ask for it.

    4. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Seems to me that by it’s own standards, government is pretty much continuously failing to do its job.

    5. “government breakdowns”

      Hmmmm. Let’s see, which branch is the Executive Branch again? Could this have anything to do with bad management?

  36. Secret US Policy Blocks Agents From Looking at Social Media of Visa Applicants, Former Official Says

    Fearing a civil liberties backlash and “bad public relations” for the Obama administration, Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson refused in early 2014 to end a secret U.S. policy that prohibited immigration officials from reviewing the social media messages of all foreign citizens applying for U.S. visas, a former senior department official said.

    “During that time period immigration officials were not allowed to use or review social media as part of the screening process,” John Cohen, a former acting under-secretary at DHS for intelligence and analysis. Cohen is now a national security consultant for ABC News.

    One current and one former senior counter-terrorism official confirmed Cohen’s account about the refusal of DHS to change its policy about the public social media posts of all foreign applicants.

  37. GOP establishment worries about Cruz-Trump showdown

    Call it the Republican establishment’s nightmare scenario.

    The GOP establishment, confronted by a recalcitrant electorate that refuses to leave Donald Trump, is being forced to take a fresh look at Ted Cruz, a man with grassroots strength in key early primary states and few friends in Washington.

    Suddenly, the Republican Party’s best hope could be a man hell-bent on transforming it: a senator who openly spars with fellow GOP colleagues, and has campaigned by painting its leaders as spineless and feeble.

    I think Cruz is the stealth candidate to watch – he can possibly unite the two warring parties: the “establishment” and the grassroots, though the former would prefer Bush or Rubio.

    1. The establishment hates Cruz more than Trump.

    2. I’m sure we’ll see some black swan event before next summer. With both parties running highly unpopular candidates, a billionaire independent could sweep in. Is there another Trump out there?

      1. Bloomberg and Trump go third party with Hil-dog and Bush/Rubio/Christie.

        Wouldn’t that be awesome?

        This fucked up cycle could actually get worse.

  38. On Friday we had a new employee up from our Ohio facility to do some training. She has the same title as I do but yet can’t program, doesn’t know Unix, or know EDI as well. But she is the wife of one of the upper-level managers there. So yeah the consensus among my department is she that doesn’t know squat and we’ll end up doing all the heavy lifting for her. Management on the other hand, thinks she will be able to lead projects or be the point person for the next big ERP software upgrade.

    I need a new job…

    1. Try working in the public sector. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between an employee Christmas party and a family reunion. It’s a lot like feudalism.

      1. Just because everyone in my office has at least one relative that is also a state worker does not mean we are a caste-based employment schema. It’s just that government employees are more likely to push their relatives to apply and take the tests…

        But, yeah, there are few full-time state workers in this office without at least one relative in state employment (or retired from there)

  39. “Leaders of governments around the world struck a deal on climate at Paris, but as Republicans are wont to point out, the deal’s only good so long as those governments continue to back it.”

    Uh, no. It is only good so long as those governments fail to back it, primarily the governments that want to loot their citizens and send the money overseas.

  40. facing charges of inciting hatred, “picking quarrels,” and “provoking trouble.”

    Are we sure this trial isn’t taking place on a college campus in the U.S.?

  41. I had always heard the Swedes are weird. They are proving it at my workplace the last couple weeks. We have a spreadsheet for translated words & phrases that we need to build out a baseline Swedish web site. Simple – one column has the English phrase, and the Swedes just need to fill in the Swedish translation in the next column. But no. They did all the translations in a Word doc (I think), and linked to the Word doc in the Swedish translation column of the spreadsheet. It must have taken them 2 or 3 times as long to do it that way.

    1. Swedes have a non-english alphabet right? My guess is the guy working on the spreasheet didn’t care to
      a) figure out how to insert symbols in Excel
      b) copy and paste from Word.

      BTW, my company is all Americans, and they come up with the most infuriating workarounds – real “I only know hammers so I will hammer the screw in” workarounds.

      1. If the Ay-rab and Russkie translators can paste into a spreadsheet, so can the fucking Swedes!

      2. The Swedes use the Latin alphabet, though they have some weird diacriticals not used in US English.

        1. have some weird diacriticals

          ooh get all technical on us

          1. Nobody likes to get diacriticized.

    2. You would think for all their weirdness they’d produce a world class comedians or two.

      Like Canada.

      /Vaudeville dance.

      1. +Red Green

      2. Mitch Hedberg was almost Canadian.

    3. Used to own a Saab – the owner’s manual was full of funny bad translations.

      I really liked that car – fuck you GM.

  42. So, thank to H and R I almost ruined a work “function.” Last week a new person in the office was having a birthday. The people in the office are very welcoming, and had a surprise cake & card for him. (it’s only been a month since they moved into the suite & started renting space). So he’s really surprised, and touched actually, and the rest of us start singing happy birthday. And when we’re done he says “That the only time five women have sang “happy birthday to me.”” And my immediate response is “You mean, five women with their clothes on.” (and that’s the thing I blame on my H and R over-exposure). So the room goes silent, and I laugh, and then everyone sort of shakes it off. The birthday guy is all “But you don’t even know me.” The cake eating continued with a few pauses, but was fine.

    But here’s the thing, it really broke the ice between me and the new guy: a day later he’s talking to me in my office, just talking about business stuff, but totally relaxed. Before he’d been a bit stuffy and standoffish. So thanks, H an R!

    1. We would have also accepted “You mean five women you didn’t have to pay afterward.”

    2. He’s just trying to get some action now, thinking you’re a libertine.

    3. On behalf of Hit’n’Run, you’re welcome. We accept gratitude in the form of bitcoins and/or gold bullion.

  43. “A banned Sunni extremist group claimed responsibility for a bombing at a marketplace in Pakistan that killed at least 20.”

    But, but … they were banned!

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