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A.M. Links: Trump Refuses to Rule Out 3rd Party Run, Bernie Leads Hillary in New Hampshire, CBO Says Obamacare Will Reduce Workforce by 2 Million Jobs

Damon Root | 12.10.2015 9:00 AM

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  • Credit: Todd Kranin

    Donald Trump is refusing to rule out a third-party presidential run.

  • According to a new poll, Bernie Sanders is now beating Hillary Clinton by 10 points in New Hampshire.
  • A new report from the Congressional Budget Office estimates that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act will cause the workforce to shrink by approximately 2 million jobs over the next decade.
  • Police in Geneva are "actively searching" for suspects linked to last month's terrorist attacks in Paris.
  • "San Bernardino killers Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik began scheming to carry out a terrorist attack long before they were engaged or he moved her to the United States on a fiancee visa in July 2014, a widening and increasingly complex FBI investigation has found."
  • A new paper in the medical journal Lancet says that happiness may not actually lead to longer life. "Happiness and related measures of well-being do not appear to have any direct effect on mortality," the paper states.

New at Reason

  • Brickbat: Take That Back By Charles Oliver
  • The Phony Mystery of Why 'They' Hate Us The explanation is far more political than religious. By Sheldon Richman
  • Cutting Constitutional Corners Won't Save Us From Terrorists No-gun zones like the one in effect where the San Bernardino shooting took place are not only unconstitutional but also an invitation to disaster. By Judge Andrew Napolitano
  • Panicked Responses to Terrorism Helps Feed It ISIS wants our invasion and rejection of Muslims. By Steve Chapman
  • All Roads Lead to Washington as Congress Resurrects Ex-Im Bank Crony capitalist institution could still be crippled if Sen. Mitch McConnell takes action. By Veronique de Rugy
  • Return of the Tax Credit A Star Wars expansion at Disneyland helps keep an entertainment fee at bay. By Scott Shackford

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Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Christian Family Gets 5 Children Taken Away by Gov't for Teaching God Punishes Sin
    Child welfare services in Norway have reportedly removed five Christian children from their parents' home and placed them into foster care after the parents were accused of radicalizing and indoctrinating their children with Christianity.

    According to the British-based Christian Institute, Norway's child protection services, known as the Barnevernet, seized the three sons and two daughters of Ruth and Marius Bodnariu in mid-November.

    Although the family wasn't quite sure at the time why their children were being taken away from them, their lawyer discovered that the parents were being charged with Christian indoctrination....

    1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

      Hello.

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        Oh get a room with yourself, canuck!

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

          I tried but they wanted to charge me double-occupancy because they kept hearing the voices in my head!

    2. Princess Trigger   10 years ago

      The State punishes All.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        ^This

    3. Zeb   10 years ago

      What the fuck is the point of having children if you can't indoctrinate them?

      1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        You can absolutely indoctrinate them in Norway, as long as said indoctrination promotes recycling, environmentalism, leftism, etc., and assuming the article is to be believed, I doubt that even indoctrinating a child to a strict interpretation of Islam is prohibited.

        1. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

          I think a lot of Europe is realising that whole swaths of their lauded government infrastructure are in the hands of cloud cuckoo radicals

          1. pan fried wylie   10 years ago

            "You just said no, like, a thousand times..."

            "...AND NO CONSISTENCY!!!"

        2. wareagle   10 years ago

          so Norway is the new Soviet Union? State indoctrinate you?

        3. Lee G   10 years ago

          Yeah, I bet they take Islamic kids away from their parents every day.

      2. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

        What the fuck is the point of having children if you can't indoctrinate them?

        Zeb, you may be interested in my newsletter...

        1. Clich? Bandit   10 years ago

          Will there be more ellipses in your news letter? 'Cause cause if you are the worst; your letter being a manifestation thereof; then I want to see obscure and artistic usage of punctuation and grammar.

        2. Free Society   10 years ago

          I'm not sure there is a worse person you could take parenting advice from than a person who thinks having kids is immoral. Though I am relieved to know that you won't be propagating your genes.

          1. Zeb   10 years ago

            Well, as long as the advice is "don't have kids", no harm done, I guess.

      3. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        What the fuck is the point of having children if you can't indoctrinate them?

        Free labor?

        1. Sapient Mulch   10 years ago

          They are absolutely not free.

      4. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

        A large part of parenting is indoctrinating kids. Kids are little barbarians. Teaching your kids your values is about as fundamental a right that there is.

    4. CatoTheChipper   10 years ago

      Here's one more example of why progressives hold up Norway as an example of socialism that works.

      Obviously, we need to be more like Norway.

    5. Griffin3   10 years ago

      That article led to District Votes to Allow Trans Student in Girls' Locker Room After Feds Threaten to Pull $6M in Funding. I understand the pressure on the school board to cave in the face of a $6mm shortfall ... but I wonder: at what point would it be cost effective to go ahead and take the hit, and dispense with all the federal rules? Not going to happen in Chicago, no one is going to cut 120 jobs in response to something like this in unionotopia, but I can imagine it somewhere like Montana: "No federal funding, which is 12% of our budget? Well, let's cut the federally mandated Title IX crap, the individualized curriculum paperwork BS, the Michelle Obama lunch rules, the teacher paid all day to got out to socially maladjusted kid* in the bowels of the county and teach him in his own home, all the federally mandated bullcrap -- 18% cost savings! Done! Raises for all that remain!"

      [*A pediatrician I know is constantly pestered to fill out paperwork that requires an instructor to administer special in-house teaching to their special snowflake ("school makes them so nervous"), all over the rural end of our county. She mentioned this to the county admins, how much time do the teachers spend driving between students, and got laughed at ... does she expect the instructors to consult with more than one student a day?]

      1. Illocust   10 years ago

        I don't think it will happen just because teachers aren't taught to think that way. They are the dregs of the college crowd, and not relying on the fed even when the fed is more expensive is just a tool in their toolbox.

      2. Lee G   10 years ago

        Federal funding is the end run around the Tenth Amendment. The feds taketh away, and giveth back when you comply.

        1. Free Society   10 years ago

          Federal funding is the end run around the Tenth Amendment. The feds taketh away, and giveth back when you comply.

          And there is something wrong with that beyond just "the power of the purse". On the one hand, yes the feds are bribing states to legislate in ways that appease the national government. On the other hand, the feds are bribing them and/or withholding bribes with funds that it took from the states to begin with.

      3. R C Dean   10 years ago

        I wonder: at what point would it be cost effective to go ahead and take the hit, and dispense with all the federal rules?

        I've wondered that.

        I have turned down federal grants because accepting the grant means you are subject to an assload of totally unrelated regulatory requirements.

        I know of one (1) hospital that does not participate in any federal or state welfare programs (Medicare, Medicaid, etc.). They are in a fabulously wealthy market, must have a huge endowment, and operate blessedly free of the entire truckload of federal healthcare regulation. Including, believe it or not, HIPAA.

    6. ant1sthenes   10 years ago

      Ah, so apparently European governments are capable of identifying and taking action against people whose religious belief they despise. We must assume, then, that their failure to act against Islamists is not the result of impotence or respect for freedom, but instead an endorsement of their ideals.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Donald Trump is refusing to rule out a third-party presidential run.

    Didn't he make some kind of pledge?

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      Ha ha.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        IT WASN'T MEANT AS A JOKE I WAS SERIOUSLY ASKING

        1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          If the GOP treats Trump (as the front-runner) with disrespect, they will be breaking their pledge, so he will break his pledge.

          He is a master negotiator.

          1. Rich   10 years ago

            Yep. I would, however, like to see him negotiate Hillary out of the presidency.

            1. Princess Trigger   10 years ago

              My guess is he's hiring a platoon of specially selected women to lay a minefield of bimbos for Bill.
              Hillary can take all the bribes and stab puppies on camera - but a flurry of bimbo eruptions from Bill could make her look weak (unless she has him killed).

              And American needs strength - Strength we can only find in the Donald!

              1. R C Dean   10 years ago

                My guess is he's hiring a platoon of specially selected women to lay a minefield of bimbos for Bill.

                He might get better results if he hires a platoon of specially selected women to lay a minefield of bimbos for Hillary.

              2. JD the elder   10 years ago

                I love that somebody asked Hillary about her stance that people claiming to be rape victims should automatically be believed...and then about the women who accused Bill of raping them. Of course Hillary gave a smug non-answer, and her pet audience ate it up, because it's about principals, not principles, but I love that somebody actually said it to her face.

            2. Tonio   10 years ago

              The people who would vote for him would not vote for Hillary. So he'd be tipping the election in her favor whether that was his goal or not.

          2. lap83   10 years ago

            I wonder if breaking the pledge would foreshadow his presidency. Nah, surely he's too classy for that!

    2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      Yeah, a totally enforceable and binding pledge that he super-duper meant when he made it

    3. expat   10 years ago

      Yes, he did.

      But as we all know, a promise from a politician is not worth the hot air it released when it was uttered.

      1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

        But, Trump isn't a politician! He's different!

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

          He is PURE hot air, not that politically tainted hot air. TRUMPAIR does not add to AGW.

    4. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      You know who else made some kind of pledge?

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        Elementary school classes, every morning?

        1. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

          I think that is long over.

          1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

            Too triggering?

      2. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        SC Johnson?

        1. Warren's Strapon   10 years ago

          And Son.

          1. pan fried wylie   10 years ago

            "Xon", you cishet..etcetc

      3. Citizen X   10 years ago

        A bunch of people to my local NPR affiliate this week?

        1. Tonio   10 years ago

          +1 tote bag

        2. Clich? Bandit   10 years ago

          + 1 Tardis Cup where the Tardis disappears when you put hot liquid in it. Damn i miss that mug.

      4. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

        Douglas MacArthur?

  3. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Pastor Davey Blackburn Says God Allowed Wife's Murder So Church Could Live
    ..."I had a thought this morning in the shower. And felt like the Lord spoke to my heart and said: 'Davey, I want my church, I want my bride to come alive. And if I had asked you, Davey, before this if you were willing to give up your bride so that my bride can come alive, what would you have said?'" he noted with an uneasy chuckle....

    1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      God is Eduard Khil?

    2. gaijin   10 years ago

      What kind of man goes by the name Davey?

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        Here ya go.

      2. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

        Ahem...

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          Double Ahen

          http://www.daveyandgoliath.org/

          1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

            *Ahem*

      3. RBS   10 years ago

        This guy

      4. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

        The King of the Wild Frontier, that is what kind.

        1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

          +1 memories of that damn song

      5. OneOut   10 years ago

        Crockett

    3. Lee G   10 years ago

      Now there's some delusional thinking for you.

      At least politicians actually know that the death of a loved one is merely a public relations opportunity.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

        Didn't you read? God up and told him that it was a decision based solely on public relations.

    4. Suthenboy   10 years ago

      Poor feller. I feel awful for him because that doesn't look suspicious at all. Nope. Not one bit.

    5. RBS   10 years ago

      Right, god wanted your pregnant wife to be sexually assaulted then murdered, for the glory of the church.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        There's an actual OT bible verse about that god sending bears to maul children who made fun of some prophet's beard. For realz, yo.

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          That's a lie. They made fun of him because he was bald.

          23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            Or, in the language of the true faith:

            23 So den elisha carryd on frm mcdonalds 2 burger king agen. while he was goin up sum wittle boys were mean 2 him callin her bald.

            24 He turnt round n cursed them in da name ov Ceiling Cat! An as she carryd on 2 burger king 2 l33t bears sudenli come out da woods n nom'd 42 ov da boys leik dey waz cheezburgerz.

            1. R C Dean   10 years ago

              I . . . I . . . actually understood that.

              1. Clich? Bandit   10 years ago

                That is NOT OK!
                /Rico

          2. Tonio   10 years ago

            As always, you are a treasure. Thanks, Sug.

            1. Citizen X   10 years ago

              The man types his own inimitable style of slash fiction one minute, and Holy Scripture the next. Truly, being is unbearably light.

  4. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    IRS Proposes Churches, Nonprofits Get Social Security Numbers From Donors
    The IRS may soon require churches and other nonprofit charities to report the Social Security numbers of their donors contributing at least $250 annually. The news has raised concerns about security, IRS targeting and government overreach.

    A report from FOX News says lawmakers and charities alike are concerned about the impact this proposal from the Obama administration could have on churches and charities if it gets the greenlight....

    1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

      Welp...

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        But the rewards of President Barack H. Christ are the greatest rewards of all!

      2. SugarFree   10 years ago

        "When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

    2. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

      "It would have a dramatic effect on donors' decisions on whether or not to contribute," she said. "You'd see a lot of $249.99 contributions to every charitable organization in America."

      Followed by indictments for structuring.

      1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

        All part of the plan, I'm sure.

    3. OneOut   10 years ago

      I'm all for it for the NGOs.

      Anyone who has read up on the NGOs in Africa and the damage they do would like to see their funding cut.

      For the Churches not at all. The IRS already has the info for the donors on their tax returns if they deduct it.

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        PB must be salivating at the reduction in the number of "Christo-terrorists" that will ensue.

  5. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    Donald Trump is refusing to rule out a third-party presidential run.

    He's going to be president AND vice-president!

    1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      It is a 'UUUUUGE Administration!

  6. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ...Bernie Sanders is now beating Hillary Clinton by 10 points in New Hampshire.

    But how does Vermont feel about him?

    1. Suthenboy   10 years ago

      "...Bernie Sanders is now beating Hillary Clinton by 10 points in New Hampshire."

      Who? Where? What the hell is a new hampshire?

      1. OneOut   10 years ago

        That's where ilo lived in a retirement home.

        1. OneOut   10 years ago

          Bilbo

      2. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

        What the hell is a new hampshire?

        The home of the Illuminati masters who control your life.

        Now act like you know and stand up and salute.

    2. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

      I can't really tell you anymore. I've had to unfollow basically everyone I know from the state.

      1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

        The dueling narratives are hilarious. On the one hand, pants-shitting over NH being filled with elderly Ben and Jerry's swilling hippies paving the path to Bernie's ascension. On the other, pants-shitting over NH being filled with sloped-browed peckerwood populists who will hand Trump his first primary victory.

  7. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    Police: Woman bit store employee after stealing underwear

    RUTLAND, Vt. (AP) ? A New York woman was arrested after she allegedly bit an employee of a Vermont store after he attempted to retrieve underwear she had allegedly stolen from the store.

    The Rutland Herald reports (http://bit.ly/1jNqO41 ) the 33-year-old woman from White Plains, New York, will be arraigned on Dec. 14 on misdemeanor charges of retail theft and simple assault. Her hearing had been scheduled for Monday, but has since been rescheduled.

    Loss-prevention officer Richard Durham, of the TJ Maxx store in Rutland, told police the woman kicked him, slapped his glasses off of his face and bit his thumb after he had taken her purse to check for the stolen underwear.

    Police say Durham retrieved the $21.50 underwear from the woman's bag.

    1. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

      Between this and the Walking Dead actor being bit, the zombie apocalypse is clearly upon us. No offense guys, but if I see any of you I'm shooting you in the face as a precaution.

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        No worries....I'd shoot me too.

      2. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

        I just assumed that would generally be the case for anyone in the commentariat.

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          Hmmmm....might just make Warty angry - so something else might have to be tried in that case.

          1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

            Warty is Mongo?

            1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

              That is....accurate.

              1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

                Him just pawn in game of life.

      3. Citizen X   10 years ago

        That's a sound course of action when encountering anybody who comments here, yeah.

      4. Restoras   10 years ago

        Bukkake?

  8. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    New Business Aims to Teach D.C. Residents How to Smoke Weed

    When marijuana was legalized in the District last year, many people rejoiced, but some with less smoking experience scratched their heads. "Weed is legal, great!" they might have mused. "But how do I grow it? Where do I find it? How do I smoke it?"

    Just a few months ago, the answer to many of those questions was "just Google it," or "I dunno man, go ask Adam at Capitol Hemp." But the D.C. School of Mary Jane, a new educational business based in Columbia Heights, aims to change all that.

    In a nutshell, the School of Mary Jane exists to teach you how to consume marijuana recreationally and safely. The company's founder, Ryan (who asked us not to his last name for employment reasons) said his goal is to weed out falsities based on "decades upon decades of misinformation and stigma tied to marijuana."

    1. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

      I learned everything I know from my school's screening of "The Death of Richie" in 8th grade.

      1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

        Blue Boy.

    2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      his goal is to weed out falsities

      Heh. I see what he did there.

    3. Tonio   10 years ago

      Paging Maureen Dowd, Maureen Dowd, please pick up the greenish-brown courtesy phone. Maureen Dowd...

  9. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ...the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act will cause the workforce to shrink by approximately 2 million jobs over the next decade.

    If you like your shrinkage you can keep your shrinkage.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      The pool was cold.

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        Lobster omelette anyone?

    2. Princess Trigger   10 years ago

      So many deaths to cull the weak and unworthy.

  10. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    According to a new poll, Bernie Sanders is now beating Hillary Clinton by 10 points in New Hampshire.

    Don't worry, i'm sure "keep scores close" is turned on.

  11. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    This Day in History

    1817 - Mississippi became the 20th state in the United States.

    1869 - The territory of Wyoming authorized women to vote and hold office.

    1901 - The first Nobel Prizes were awarded in Stockholm, Sweden, in the fields of physics, chemistry, medicine, literature, and peace.

    1948 - The United Nations General Assembly adopted its Universal Declaration on Human Rights.

    1950 - Dr. Ralph Bunche became the first black to receive a Nobel Peace Prize.

    1964 - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., received the Nobel Peace Prize.

    1999 - Los Alamos scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested and charged with stealing classified information.

    2004 - A U.S. passenger jet landed in Vietnam, the first one to do so since the Vietnam War ended nearly three decades earlier.

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      One of those does not seem like the others

    2. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

      So does everyone get their Nobel prizes on this day in history? If yes, I will withdraw the follow-up question which might appear insensitive.

      1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        I'd like to see someone sweep the Nobel prizes one year. That'd be pretty impressive.

        1. robc   10 years ago

          Just a physics/literature combo would be impressive.

        2. Unicorn Abattoir   10 years ago

          Don't give Taylor Swift any ideas.

      2. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

        So does everyone get their Nobel prizes on this day in history?

        Yes, but interestingly, the Peace Prize is the only one awarded in Oslo; whereas, the others are awarded in Stockholm.

    3. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      Is this one of those "Spot the Not" lists? I'm going with #2. Everyone knows women can't vote!

      1. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

        Certainly those bumpkins wouldn't have let women vote and hold office so many years before the nation! Come on!

    4. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

      This day in history deaths:

      "1198 - Averroes, Arab physician and philosopher (b. 1126)"

      http://www.onthisday.com/today/deaths.php

  12. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

    A new report from the Congressional Budget Office estimates that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act will cause the workforce to shrink by approximately 2 million jobs over the next decade.

    GREATEST FREE MARKET REFORM EVAH!!!!!!!!!

  13. Rich   10 years ago

    the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act will cause the workforce to shrink by approximately 2 million jobs over the next decade.

    But everyone will have health insurance -- that's the main thing.

    1. Marshall Gill   10 years ago

      What is extra special about SCOTUScare is that since the deductibles are so high, in most cases it really only amounts to catastrophic health insurance, for 10X the cost!

      1. robc   10 years ago

        Insert SLDs liberally, but if the mandate had been a catastrophic plan with an hsa, there would be virtually no controversy.

        We would be the fringe cranks complaining about the loss of freedom.

        1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

          Yeah, but then all that would have done was solve the hypothetical problem they were ranting about, not give them tons of unnecessary control. Why would they every want to do that?

      2. OneOut   10 years ago

        As a 59 year old straight white male it's a comfort to me to know that if I ever decide to go Tranny my insurance covers any fertility treatments I might need in order to reproduce.

  14. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    First U.S. penis transplants could help wounded troops

    (CNN)The Johns Hopkins University medical team that performed arm and hand transplants hopes to perform the first penile transplant in the United States in the coming months.

    The team led by Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee hopes to help returning servicemen with an often-hidden wound of war. Modern warfare in Afghanistan and Iraq has put more troops on the streets with dismounted patrols and increased exposure to improvised explosive devices. That has led to a new kind of trauma: genitourinary, known as GU trauma, which includes the genitals, bladder, urinary tract and kidney systems.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      Can I get a few more implanted? My mad PUA skills have led me to having to service multiple women.

    2. Idle Hands   10 years ago

      Is it gay to give yourself a handy if your spanking a monkey that you weren't born with?

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        Best leave such questions to professional bioethicists.

        1. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

          Ha!

          Points, Rich.

      2. straffinrun   10 years ago

        Are you buying a cake while doing that?

      3. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

        Ask Crusty.

        1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          Call me when I can get some extra nipples.

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

            8 is enough?

      4. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        Is your wife cheating on you if she sleeps with your new dick?

        In any case, I doubt you'd feel much.

      5. OneOut   10 years ago

        I LOLed like this

        LOLOLOLOLOLLOL+!

    3. Restoras   10 years ago

      Can we finally get women with tits on their backs as well as their fronts?

      1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        Your newsletter, sir. I would like to subscribe, but just for the articles.

      2. OneOut   10 years ago

        That would make for some awesome doggie handles.

    4. OneOut   10 years ago

      Penis transplants

      Who the fuck are the donors ? Trannys

      1. Restoras   10 years ago

        Brings all new meaning to the phrase 'not with your dick'....

      2. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        I'm guessing the donors are the recently dead. In the case of m2f trannies, surgeons use a lot of the penis tissue to sculpt their vaginal analogues. Vagalogues.

      3. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        I'm guessing the donors are the recently dead. In the case of m2f trannies, surgeons use a lot of the penis tissue to sculpt their vaginal analogues. Vagalogues.

        1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

          Monologues?

    5. ant1sthenes   10 years ago

      Waking up in an ice-filled bathtub just got even more unpleasant.

  15. Idle Hands   10 years ago

    Dorks:

    Why Does Everyone Think of Han Solo as a Sex Symbol? He's a Total Goober.

    Han Solo, most people will tell you, is the perfect everyman hero. He's handsome, but approachably so. He's an ordinary human who holds his own among Force-wielders and giant space slugs. He's charming, but only despite his gruffest intentions. And, of course, he's relentlessly quotable. "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid," he shrugs. "Never tell me the odds!" he barks. But there's a less capable, more insecure man lurking behind the myth, and he's a far cry from the swaggy action hero this character has been made out to be in the years since A New Hope premiered. If you rewatch the original Star Wars movies, it's a rude awakening: Han Solo is not a sex symbol. He's a goober.

    1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

      Yeah, well, he shot Greedo.

      1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

        I think this is the year for the Capitals. Of course I say that every year, but I feel really good about this one.

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

          They're playing well that's for sure.

          Trotz is one of the great under rated coaches. I would have selected him to coach Team Canada at the World Cup.

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

            But someone should buy him a neck.

          2. Mr. Flanders   10 years ago

            I was at the Caps vs. Redwings game on Tuesday. It was a good one but we squeaked by on individual talent. I was more impressed with the Red Wing's ability to work as a team and create scoring opportunities. The caps had more shots on goal but weren't as aggressive or team-oriented. I came away happy that we won but also feeling like we were a bit lucky.

        2. Restoras   10 years ago

          I disagree. It's the year of the lower cases.

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

            Over to you Swiss...

          2. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

            *narrows gaze*

    2. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

      In other words, "Slate writer doesn't understand what a 'character arc' is".

      1. lap83   10 years ago

        They were born awesome so they don't understand the concept of having to grow or improve oneself

        1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

          I know.

    3. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

      I was hoping this would be from returnofkings. Some aggressively repressed loser whining about how women are wrong to be attracted to Han Solo.

  16. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    Being unhappy or stressed will not kill, says study

    Being miserable or stressed will not increase your risk of dying, according to the UK's Million Women Study.

    It had been thought that being unhappy was bad for health - particularly for the heart.

    But the decade-long analysis, published in the Lancet, said previous studies had just confused cause and effect.

    However, experts argued that unhappiness in childhood may still have a lasting impact.

    A series of studies had shown that how happy people are, strongly predicts how long they are going to live.

    Ideas included detrimental changes in stress hormones or the immune system resulting in a higher risk of death.

    But the research team in the UK and Australia said those studies failed to deal with reverse causality - namely, that people who are ill are not very happy.

    1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      I guess sometimes it does pay to read the articles...

      1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        Never!

        Without reading the article, I'm going to assume that their measure of happiness is extremely vague and the studies are thinly disguised pseudoscience.

        Kind of like how lefties always tell me, "we should be more like Europe, they self-report being happier over there". Well, in America, we have higher per capita GDP, something that can actually be measured with numbers. I guess that's why they have to resort to handwaving.

        1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

          +355 "mass shootings"

  17. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    "Happiness and related measures of well-being do not appear to have any direct effect on mortality," the paper states.

    Was this study run by Emil Cioran?

  18. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    South Park Is Still Fighting for the Right to Be Offensive

    Without much fanfare, South Park wraps up its 19th season on Wednesday night ( 10/9c, Comedy Central). It's rare that such a long-running show stays relevant or even finds anything new to do, but this season has been South Park's most on-point in a half-decade. South Park has always been an issues-driven show, but a section of the larger culture has aligned with (or perhaps more accurately, aligned against) creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone's point of view in a way that has allowed them to find their antagonistic, satirical sweet spot. For the first time in South Park's history, this year the show featured a season-long plot about how the town changes when a new principal takes over the school and begins enforcing political correctness with an iron fist. Political-correctness-as-suppression-tactic is the perfect topic for them to go deep, as South Park has basically been at its core a show championing unconstrained free speech since it started, and political correctness (or identity politics or social justice or other such related terms) is the most culturally prominent it's been in the show's lifespan. Parker and Stone make fun of everything, but they're very serious about freedom of speech. They've spent this season confronting an ideology that would rather a show like South Park doesn't exist.

    1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      I have been catching up on this season, which is timely, really funny, satirical and sad.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

        They found their second-wind. Jimmy telling PC Principal to suck his dick was a masterpiece. We should all tell these fuckers to suck our dicks (or vaginas).

        Their take on Jenner is fantastic.

        Buckle up, Buckaroo!

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

          The other thing I find bizarre is liberals claiming the show spoofs the right claiming it as their own.

          I know a couple who barely watch the show and assume this to be true.

          1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            It is not even "right" or "left," it is the anti-free speech, anti-liberty, smug, superior attitude that has infiltrated our society via the internet.

            That usually describes the more "progressive" types for sure, but it's not like they have a monopoly on that attitude.

        2. dan'o en barrel   10 years ago

          Stan: Dad, did you draw dicks on my friend's face?
          Randy: (eyes closed, hands cradling his hung over head) Did I check his privilege? Yes

        3. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

          I crack up every time Jenner runs over people. They could use that joke at the end of every scene, and I'd still laugh.

      2. gaijin   10 years ago

        Welcome to Shi Tpa Town!

        1. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

          I learned from watching that, that apparently I snigger at totally infantile Chinese stereotyping jokes.

          1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

            We all do.

    2. Drake   10 years ago

      In the gym last night a loud-mouthed lib was watching MSNBC next me. I turned the next TV over to South Park - a re-run of the Jimmy newspaper episode. Pretty funny when he collected consent forms in the frat house.

    3. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      I need to watch this season. I used to follow this show pretty closely, but haven't in the past few years.

  19. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

    President Obama Says Kendrick Lamar's "How Much a Dollar Cost" Was His Favorite Song of 201

    In a new interview with People, President Obama said Kendrick Lamar's "How Much a Dollar Cost"?from this year's To Pimp a Butterfly?was his favorite song of 2015. (Meanwhile, First Lady Michelle Obama's favorite song was Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars' "Uptown Funk".)

    If there was any doubt Obama was our hippest president, let it be immediately dispelled.

    (This also means the President probably heard Kendrick's explicit shout out on "Hood Politics", also from TPAB.)

    1. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

      President Obama Says Kendrick Lamar's "How Much a Dollar Cost" Was His Favorite Song of 201

      I'd figure it as some sort of Gregorian chanting.

      1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

        Listen, you can get your AM links quick or accurate, but not both.

      2. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

        Byzantine chanting. Gregory codified some watered down, kindergarten-level Byzantine chants for Western Europe. When the West decide they hated Byzantium (this would have been around 1283 I think), suddenly the story changed and now Gregory was the great creative fountainhead.

        1. Zeb   10 years ago

          Well, remember who we are talking about.

      3. Zeb   10 years ago

        Not a Muslim call to prayer?

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          +1 "The sweetest sound I know is the Muslim call to prayer"

          1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

            He almost certainly meant second sweetest, as we all know the sweetest sound in existence is the voice of Barack Obama

            1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

              Ohhhhhhhh the sweetest thing

  20. Rich   10 years ago

    "Happiness and related measures of well-being do not appear to have any direct effect on mortality."

    Ha Ha!

  21. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    San Bernardino killers Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik began scheming to carry out a terrorist attack long before they were engaged or he moved her to the United States on a fiancee visa in July 2014...

    It's not on us to judge the validity of a marriage's foundation.

    1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      Well, they apparently didn't part until death.

      1. gaijin   10 years ago

        Well, they apparently didn't part until death.

        You think she's gonna be jealous when he is in heaven bangin on 40 virgins?

        1. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

          isn't it 72? maybe they are 40 year old virgins though...I'd go for that...

          1. Judge Forrest's Clitdong   10 years ago

            It's either 72 year-old virgins or 72-year-old virgins.

    2. SugarFree   10 years ago

      14 dead on the altar of heterosexual marriage.

      1. Citizen X   10 years ago

        John hardest hit.

      2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        What this country needs is common sense marriage control

  22. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Heartiste: Sweeps Week: 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament
    Shitlibs are renowned for their watery-eyed, chipmunk-cheeked, effeminate, punchable faces. Why not set up a tournament-style bracket to find the most punchable, shitlib-iest face ever, as determined by reader vote? Why ask why?...

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      Is this the hate speech Loretta Lynch is going to prosecute?

      1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        Yes, but it's just an expression of their own self-hate for all of their insecurities.

    2. This Machine   10 years ago

      1. Matt Yglesias
      2. Dylan Matthews
      3. Pajamaboy, hands down.
      4. Lindsey Graham.

      Tough choices. Very hard to find a favorite.

      1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        Ezra Klein.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

          By a nose.

          1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

            Lovely turn of phrase there.

      2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        Definitely Yglesias. Is Chris Hayes on the list, or are we finally acknowledging that that's really just Rachel Maddow with her hair combed to the side?

        1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          Chris Hayes?

          Would.

      3. BigT   10 years ago

        E J Dionne Jr !!

        1. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

          Yeah, whatever happened to that tiny-fisted little dude?

          1. Lee G   10 years ago

            He still plays the leftist counterpart to that raging conservative David Brooks on NPR.

          2. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

            He's still derping along at the Washington Post

    3. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

      Mark Bittman by half a length.

      http://static01.nyt.com/images.....ine-v2.jpg

  23. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

    Police in Geneva are "actively searching" for suspects linked to last month's terrorist attacks in Paris.

    Pfft - leave 'em be. The cost of living there will drain the entire terror network of cash.

  24. Rich   10 years ago

    "Happiness and related measures of well-being do not appear to have any direct effect on mortality."

    They do, however, make your mortal time more pleasant, right? RIGHT?!

  25. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Vox Day: Kicking the cuckroaches

    1. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

      I'm now 100% convinced.

      1. Vox Day has a serious, unresolved cuckold fetish.

      2. Anyone using "cuck" as a prefix to a political insult should be slowly tortured.

      1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

        Usually the 4chan memes enter the mainstream via /b/, not /pol/.

      2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        Glenn Reynolds had that guy's book as his "in the mail" post recently.

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          It is a very useful book... as kindling for the Yule Log fire, yes?

          1. Citizen X   10 years ago

            You can also use it to prop up a wobbly table leg.

            1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

              Doorstop? Bird cage liner?

              1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                Target?

  26. Derpmaster General   10 years ago

    I'm still hungover due to the amount I had to drink to get myself through a Marcotte article on Fisher II

    I dare not link to Salon.

    1. Tonio   10 years ago

      do not link dot com

      Click through for instrucs. It allows you to safely link to obnoxious pages without raising the google hitcounts for those pages.

  27. Rich   10 years ago

    Google's new quantum computer is '100 million times faster than your PC'

    "So please to be donloading this PC accellerater to for free you machine now!"

    1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      Soemtimes you jsut have to roll with it!

      1. Citizen X   10 years ago

        Wwow right on, Dude! LOL

        http://www.anon-your.mom.tk

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          I larfed.

          1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

            Agreed. That deserves a thumbs-up.

    2. Lee G   10 years ago

      They must have a really clean registry.

    3. CatoTheChipper   10 years ago

      Slide 79 "Is the Islamic State Based on Islam or "Radical" Islam?

      Answer:
      Islamic State self identifies as "Muwahhidun" [Wahhabi]. There are two Muwahhidun states already, Saudi Arabia and Qatar. IS believes the Muwahhidun of Saudi Arabia and Qatar have become too liberal and corrupt.

      "This is all mainstream Islamic thought and teaching, although it has rarely been acted upon deliberate intent since the beginning of the 1800s."

  28. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy
    Let's start with the grossest form: injectable birth control. IT MAKES YOU FAT. A 2009 study from the University of Texas found that women using DMPA gain an average of 11 pounds over three years, a 3-4 per cent increase....

    ...It's not just your body that will get less sexy. Your voice will lose its seductiveness too. Women sound most attractive to men when their estrogen levels are high, and their progesterone levels are low. Birth control lowers the former and raises the latter, making women sound as erotically appealing as Bruce Jenner giving a croaky acceptance speech....

    ...A single month of it would be enough to have even the most loyal woman deliberately tripping attractive men and falling on top of them? regardless of affirmative consent. Be aware lads, if she's on the Pill, you're probably getting cucked ? unless you're dating a polyamorous third-wave feminist, in which case you're getting cucked no matter what birth control method is being used (and let's be honest, it's probably abstinence)....

    1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy

      So does pregnancy. Sometimes you can't win.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        Do you know what else makes women unattractive and crazy?

        1. Zeb   10 years ago

          Hitler?

        2. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          From you, I want to hear this!

        3. Restoras   10 years ago

          Menses?

          1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

            You just hate smart women.

            1. Restoras   10 years ago

              Swiss!!!!

            2. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

              *narrows gaze*

        4. paranoid android   10 years ago

          Reading Breitbart?

    2. Zeb   10 years ago

      Are you done yet?

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

        Done making women unattractive and crazy?

      2. Citizen X   10 years ago

        Nah, he's still working his way up to linking to Roosh V.

        1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

          Roosh: 7 Things I Require In The Future Mother Of My Child

          1. Citizen X   10 years ago

            If Roosh ever does find some woman addled enough to carry his diseased foetus, i hope to Crom he has a daughter.

            1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

              As Loki is the one true God, you can be assured of this.

            2. SugarFree   10 years ago

              No child of any sex deserves his DNA or his parenting. I recommend ballistic vasectomy.

              1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                What if his baby turns out to be Future Hitler, huh? I bet Future Hitler would deserve that.

              2. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

                ballistic vasectomy

                A forthcoming Warty Hugeman adventure?

                1. SugarFree   10 years ago

                  The title of his third album of Icelandic sagas set to the delicate music of metal fatigue.

              3. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

                This sounds like yet another problem that Pro Lib and and I can solve via falling rocks.

                1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                  Please do.

                  1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

                    For a fee, that is...

          2. Idle Hands   10 years ago

            So this person exists? and is willing to put his actual name and picture at the top of that stuff? what a douche.

          3. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

            Roosh.

    3. Illocust   10 years ago

      Several forms also have a tendency to lower libidos. All of which makes sense when you consider that birth control basically tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant. Why would you need to convince someone to make babies with you if you've already got one in the making.

      1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

        My ex girlfriend and I eventually broke up due to differing sex drives, but I noticed that the months she was interested in a reasonable amount of sex exactly lined up with the period before she got on the pill and when she stopped taking it for a while in the middle of the relationship. She didn't go along with my suggestion that she try going off it again at the end.

    4. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

      Doesn't it given women wider hips and bigger breasts? Who complains about this exactly?

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        Sarcasmic?

        /John

    5. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

      Aren't these getting kind of transparent? "We don't like women who control their own sexualities!" Yeah, we get it.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        I believe that is the point of the posts. And really, women who control their own sexuality are intimidating, and we can't have that.

        1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

          Some broads just need honor killin'

          *spits in spitoon before raising his trusty skibouk,/Singing, "Allah! Il Allah! Al-lah!"*

          1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

            *glares balefully*

            1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

              Too soon?

    6. Illocust   10 years ago

      By the way, for anyone that takes this author too seriously in this article, you should know that he's absolutely flaming gay. This article has more in common with the good old days of Cracked than an actually opinion piece.

    7. Lee G   10 years ago

      Why does Milo care?

      1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

        He's laughing all the way to the bank.

      2. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

        We have to make babies to fight the Muzzie horde, Lee.

        1. Lee G   10 years ago

          I did my part. I'm out.

  29. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Charles Coooke: The right to bear arms isn't up for debate

    Reacting to this argument, we often hear advocates of gun control propose that the Founders' observations are irrelevant because they could "not have imagined the modern world." I agree with the latter assertion: They couldn't have. As well-read in world history as they were, there is no way that they could have foreseen just how prescient they were in insisting on harsh limitations of government power. In their time, "tyranny" was comparatively soft ? their complaints focused on under-representation and the capricious restriction of ancient rights. In the past century, by contrast, tyranny involved the systematic execution of entire groups and the enslavement of whole countries. The notion that if James Madison had foreseen the 20th century he would have concluded that the Bill of Rights was too generous is laughable.

    1. kbolino   10 years ago

      Way to go with keeping your biases hidden, WaPo. Cooke's opinion gets a bunch of interjected "other perspective" pieces, but if you to go to those other pieces, none of them have Cooke's interjected into them.

  30. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Federal appeals court weighs: Is it discrimination for only men to register for the draft?

    e government argued in papers filed in the initial lawsuit that it "is not yet fit for judicial decision because the full implementation of the changes to the structure of the United States armed forces has not yet been revealed and Congress has not yet had the opportunity to consider how the MSSA (Military Selective Service Act) should be changed in light of those implementation plans."

    "This case is no more ripe today than it was before the district court" ruled in 2013, Sonia McNeil, a U.S. attorney, told the court. "It would not be appropriate" to even argue the case on its merits because the plaintiffs lack standing and haven't proved an injury. McNeil and Berzon engaged in a back-and-forth disagreement about the case's "ripeness" before arguing over whether the plaintiffs have legal footing to bring the case to court.

    1. Zeb   10 years ago

      Congress has not yet had the opportunity to consider how the MSSA (Military Selective Service Act) should be changed in light of those implementation plans.

      How about repeal?

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        This is hugely analogous to gay marriage. Once this gets on the table as a serious proposal you're going to find an awful lot of people who suddenly discover that they were against the draft all along. At least we'll get a good, and amusing, national conversation out of this.

        1. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

          The draft being so popular, after all.

        2. Zeb   10 years ago

          Or maybe those of us actually opposed to a draft all along will get something.

          Probably not. Maintaining a list of young men (and possibly women too now) is not something I imagine government types would like to lose.

          1. Tonio   10 years ago

            That's probably how it will end up, Zeb. But we will have to form an uneasy and temporary alliance with the newly-reanimated "anti-war" movement, the socons who don't want women in combat and the soccer moms who just don't want their little Brittany drafted.

  31. Palin's Buttplug   10 years ago

    Bad news for Peanuts:

    CARSON CITY, Nev. (AP) ? A Chinese-backed electric car company with visions of revolutionizing transportation ? but no product to show yet ? announced plans Wednesday to build a $1 billion plant near Las Vegas, marking the second time in just over a year that Nevada has landed a coveted project from the budding industry.

    California-based automaker Faraday Future's choice of Nevada over three other states is contingent on state lawmakers' approval of tax incentives that haven't been publicly described. The company's announcement, in a letter to Nevada legislators that was obtained by The Associated Press, also came with the revelation that it's backed by a Chinese billionaire investor who styles himself after Apple's late Steve Jobs.

    "We plan to revolutionize the automobile industry by creating an integrated, intelligent mobility system that protects the earth and improves the living environment of mankind," wrote Jia Yueting (ZHAW' YOO'-weh-ting), who's the founder and CEO of the holding company LeTV.

    http://bigstory.ap.org/article.....a-1b-plant

    1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

      A Chinese-backed electric car company with visions of revolutionizing transportation ? but no product to show yet ? announced plans Wednesday to build a $1 billion plant near Las Vegas, marking the second time in just over a year that Nevada has landed a coveted project from the budding industry.

      California-based automaker Faraday Future's choice of Nevada over three other states is contingent on state lawmakers' approval of tax incentives that haven't been publicly described.

      sounds kind of like a scam.

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        shreek extolling crony capitalism? Who woulda thunk.

    2. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      I thought tax breaks to corporations were 'handouts', Weigel.

    3. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      Dynamite, I was hoping another subsidy-dependent industry would move into the state while the governor cries poverty and passes record tax hikes.

    4. Michael   10 years ago

      One of the funniest and saddest traits of the American progressives is their unrelenting belief that anybody in China gives a flying fuck about the environment.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        ^this

    5. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      THANK YOU PB I AM CONFUSED WHAT YOUR ARTICLE HAS TO DO WITH CHARLIE BROWN HOW IZ THAT BAD NUS FOUR HIM??????

      ALSO I LOVE YOU!!!!

    6. Lee G   10 years ago

      integrated, intelligent mobility system

      Does it have synergies too?

      1. Citizen X   10 years ago

        Yeah, ISO9000 compliant ones, but going forward they will move your cheese.

        1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

          they will move your cheese

          And if you invest in them, they'll likely pack your fudge as well.

    7. R C Dean   10 years ago

      So, we have (1) a vaporware company (2) that issued a press release, (3) begging for tax breaks.

      You're right, PB. That is bad news for libertarians; there is nothing in there that indicates any kind of good results from a free marketish activity are in the offing.

    8. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

      that it's backed by a Chinese billionaire investor who styles himself after Apple's late Steve Jobs.

      He styles himself after Steve Job's corpse?

  32. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Someone doesn't know how to drive stick *rimshot*

    Cops: Naked Man, 19, Carjacked Federal Express Truck, But Could Not Figure Out How To Drive Vehicle

    Luna demanded the truck's keys, which were turned over by the driver (who, cops report, "ran to a nearby residence and reported the incident").

    While Luna succeeded in starting the truck, the accused carjacker's getaway was not smooth. He "did not know how to operate the vehicle and fled the area on foot, abandoning the victim's vehicle," according to police.

    Based on information provided by the Fed Ex driver, the suspect was described as "a Hispanic male adult, 18-20 years, thin build, short hair, and not wearing any clothes."

    1. R C Dean   10 years ago

      "Oh, and by the way; totally naked. Not a stitch."

  33. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    In my day we just called it Chinese food:

    Mealworms found in rice served to Florida elementary students

    A Florida school district pulled rice from its menus after an elementary school student found a worm in his food and live mealworms were found in uncooked rice.

    Kelly Steinke, principal at Killarney Elementary School in Winter Park, sent a letter home to parents Tuesday night explaining a student had found a dead mealworm in his food and school employees subsequently found live mealworms in the uncooked rice.

    "As a precaution, the rice has been recalled at Killarney and every other school in the district to ensure that this matter has not been replicated," Steinke said.

    1. Citizen X   10 years ago

      In my day, we just assumed that all the cafeteria food had worms in it.

      How are those kids supposed to get their protein now?

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        + 1 ketchup vegetable.

  34. Zeb   10 years ago

    "San Bernardino killers Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik began scheming to carry out a terrorist attack long before they were engaged or he moved her to the United States on a fiancee visa in July 2014, a widening and increasingly complex FBI investigation has found."

    And decided they might as well have a kid along the way. Charming.

  35. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Syed Farook Plotted 2012 Attack ? But Got Cold Feet: Sources

    Syed Rizwan Farook, one of the shooters who killed 14 people last week at a social services agency in California, was discussing staging a terrorist attack in the Los Angeles area with a neighbor as early as 2012 ? but got cold feet, investigators said Wednesday.

    The neighbor, identified as Enrique Marquez, bought the two semiautomatic rifles used in the shootings last week at the Inland Resource Center in San Bernardino. Farook was killed along with his wife, Tashfeen Malik, in a shootout with police after they stormed the center.

    Marquez is still being questioned by investigators, sources told NBC News.

    1. Zeb   10 years ago

      I'm thinking Marquez might continue being "questioned by investigators" for a long time to come.

      1. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

        In the balmy clime of Cuba.

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen   10 years ago

        Marquez was the FBI agent?

  36. tarran   10 years ago

    For those of you who only come by in the morning,

    yesterday I published my very overdue post on the ancap response to the Paris terrorist attacks.

    How Anarchists Should Confront the Enemy Within

    1. Citizen X   10 years ago

      How Anarchists Should

      DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

      1. Zeb   10 years ago

        Maybe not the ideal phrasing for individualist anarchists.

        But seriously, nice job, tarran.

        1. Citizen X   10 years ago

          +0 Treason

    2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

      Read it yesterday. Knowing what I know about France, I don't think they'll repealing anything however sensible.

      This is a track the West is gonna stick with. Eastern Europe is not interested.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

        repeal or be repealing.

    3. Tonio   10 years ago

      Yo, thanks for that, t. I got about halfway through last night and was enjoying it. There are a couple of typos that you could fix.

  37. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    France close down 3 mosques - 334 war grade weapons found - 223 arrests

    France has been under a state of emergency since 130 people were killed in a series of terror attacks in Paris on November 13. Since then, some 2,235 homes and buildings have been raided, 232 people taken into custody, and 334 weapons confiscated.

    Cazeneuve said the number of weapons apprehended so far is staggering.

    He said: "In 15 days we have seized one-third of the quantity of war-grade weapons that are normally seized in a year."

    This latest raid comes as authorities in a number of European countries crackdown on mosques suspected of being a breeding ground for extremists cells operating in the continent.

    This week German authorities expressed concern refugees might be susceptible to radicalisation by Muslim extremists, who are using religion as an excuse to get closer to the new arrivals from Syria and other parts of the Middle East.

    1. Restoras   10 years ago

      I wonder what kind of arms the French authorities consider "war grade weapons".

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        nail clipper? a pointed stick?

      2. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   10 years ago

        Why, eclairs made with faux-creme silly.

      3. Citizen X   10 years ago

        Weaponized baguettes? Flags that are not solid white in color? Non-stinky cheeses? Deodorant?

      4. Entropy Drehmaschine Void   10 years ago

        Sounds like time for a classic:

        One French Battle Rifle, never fired, only dropped once.

    2. lap83   10 years ago

      That headline makes it sound like the weapons were found in the mosques, but it doesn't confirm that in the article

      1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

        AFAIK from some podcast or another, no weapons were found in a mosque.

    3. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

      "Ising religion as an excuse."

      So, Mr. Reporter, the jihadis are insincere? They're just pretending to have religious motives?

      How do you know this?

    4. bassjoe   10 years ago

      Arrests of whom exactly? Did these half dozen attackers have a support network ~40x that size? Seems unlikely.

      Are they arresting people merely for expressing sympathy for ISIS (a stretch of "hate speech" law, at the very least)? Trumped (heh) up immigration charges (not uncommon post-9/11 in the US)?

      France has gone crazy. President Hollande -- very unpopular and facing a legit threat from the National Front -- wants to seem like he's doing something.

      I'm still curious how the fuck these attackers managed to get close to a venue the President was attending...

  38. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Rational Male: Open Cuckoldry
    As I said, it wont be called 'cuckoldry'; the connotations are negative, so a redefining will be made in order to make the practice more socially palatable. The Feminine Imperative wont recruit the very men it needs to perpetuate cuckoldry as their own sexual strategy if the term is derogatory. Thus we'll get euphemisms for alternative lifestyles, 'open marriages' or a "Designer Relationship":...

    1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

      'open marriages'

      go on...

      1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

        You're not supposed to think about all the chicks you could be banging. Some dude might touch your woman! Focus, here!

    2. Zeb   10 years ago

      There is only one proper way to be a man and one way that relationships must work. Being a giant asshole is the key factor in all of it.

      Boy, they really do have a cuckolding fetish, don't they?

  39. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Britttttnnnnneyyyyyy!

    The all-American terror of Donald Trump:

    He has been roundly condemned for these statement by key GOP figureheads like Senator Lindsey Graham, who called him a "xenophobic, race-baiting, religious bigot." But the GOP should understand Trump's popularity as a case of their chickens coming home to roost. The modern Republican Party has secured its base by pandering to the worst impulses of white male, working class, and white Christian fundamentalist rage. Only Trump doesn't use a dogwhistle. He barks. And every time he does the GOP base responds by replenishing his poll numbers.

    Although this doesn't seem like a viable longterm strategy, the short-term effects are important to watch. The responsiveness of the American public to his rhetoric of keeping white people safe reminds us again of the extent to which narratives about white safety drive U.S. social policy particularly on the right. For the cause of white safety much of the American public finds it reasonable to restrict the movement of Muslims both inside and outside of the U.S. But we don't restrict conservative white men on the grounds that they disproportionately commit mass shootings at public places ? churches, schools and colleges, movie theaters, and health care facilities.

    1. wareagle   10 years ago

      But we don't restrict conservative white men

      it's not for lack of desire to restrict them.

    2. R C Dean   10 years ago

      The modern Republican Party has secured its base by pandering to the worst impulses of white male, working class, and white Christian fundamentalist rage.

      They seem to be getting disproportionate results from such a narrow base.

  40. Mazakon   10 years ago

    Israel: Netanyahu rejects Trump's remarks

    "Prime Minister Netanyahu rejects Donald Trump's recent remarks about Muslims," reads a statement released by Netanyahu's office.

    "The State of Israel respects all religions and strictly guarantees the rights of all its citizens. At the same time, Israel is fighting against militant Islam that targets Muslims, Christians and Jews alike and threatens the entire world.

    "As for the meeting with Mr. Trump that was set some two weeks ago, the Prime Minister decided earlier this year on a uniform policy to agree to meet with all presidential candidates from either party who visit Israel and ask for a meeting.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

      So, Israel is planning on changing its immigration and visa policies?

  41. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Bronzey...

    Truck loaded with fire extinguishers crashes and burns on interstate

    Authorities in Mississippi said an 18-wheeler loaded with fire extinguishers ironically burst into flames on a stretch of interstate and caused major delays.

    The Mississippi Highway Patrol said the truck's cab separated from the trailer when it went off the road Tuesday afternoon on Interstate 10 in Jackson County.

    "The truck went off the road to the left and it hit the guard rail," Seibert told the Sun Herald newspaper.

    1. straffinrun   10 years ago

      ...and then rammed into Sheryl Crow's car, giving her a concussion and curing her walleye.

      1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

        Ironically, swerving to miss Alanis Morrisette's car in the process.

        1. straffinrun   10 years ago

          Which had Allanah Miles on it.

        2. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

          It's like rain on your wedding day.

  42. Suthenboy   10 years ago

    Huh. So, The Lancet has also been co-opted by proggies.

    Once upon a time I like reading Scientific American and Lancet. I wouldn't use that shit to line a bird cage now.

    1. R C Dean   10 years ago

      Lancet has been coopted by proggies since at least 2003(?), when they published a faux study about how the US had killed millions of Iraqis.

  43. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

    Obamacare has already reduced the Alt-text force.

    1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

      How's your training going?

      1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

        Pretty well. I ran 7 miles last Saturday before heading to the HnR bowling meetup in just over an hour. It hasn't gotten too cold yet either, though I'm guessing that's going to be a different animal in the middle of January.

        1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

          Strongly recommend a merino baselayer.

  44. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

    Get this kid to a tractor pull!

    1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

      Looks like there are three guns in that picture.

  45. Sevo   10 years ago

    'HE'S MAKING US DO IT!' whine from the media:

    "Trump's Knack for Controversy Drowning out His Rivals"
    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics.....e-35678930

    Only because you choose to feature it, pal. He doesn't have a bullhorn.

    1. Citizen X   10 years ago

      With that mouth, he doesn't need one.

  46. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

    Who works in an agile environment?

    Because I'm working in this sort of half-assed agile team. Kind of like the bosses heard about agile and learned about the basics, but didn't bother with the nitty-gritty. So we're left with a system where items get continually added to our sprints, and the client sits in on our scrum meetings and we don't ever add up "points" for how long an item is going to take. There's no time built in for peer review/dev testing, and no time for bug fixes. It's the fucking wild west.

    I hate the government. And this particular administration is full - I mean, packed to the gills - of know-nothing-know-it-alls.

    1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

      Sounds like the agile environment at my office (I'm not in that department).

    2. Lee G   10 years ago

      You mean "sexual intellectuals", aka fucking know-it-alls.

    3. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

      I've never worked in a true agile environment. What you are describing is what most of the agile implementations are. Sort of a half assed attempt to implement some of the concepts.

      FWIW, I'm not a true fan of agile at all. There are a few items I like about it, but I still like the old waterfall method for the most part.

    4. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Kristen? Have you ever read Snow Crash?

      1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

        I was thinking Y.T.'s mom, too.

        1. Citizen X   10 years ago

          +some chiseled Spam

      2. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

        Nossir...sounds like fiction. It's been a while since I read any fiction.

    5. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

      Agile is one of those things that works well when it's properly implemented by people who fully understands the entire system. Unfortunately it usually gets half-implemented by someone who just wants to be part of the latest buzzword, but isn't willing to make any fundamental systemic changes, so it ends up being a disaster.

      1. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

        This is what we're working under.

        So, development on our current sprint ends tomorrow, and they want to add three more items to it.

      2. Nativist, Racist & Xenophobe   10 years ago

        In practice, Agile means "we make it up as we go along". It's main benefit seems to be giving a blank check to tossing out troublesome things like good planing engineering.

        1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

          Right. Most "agile" shops aren't actually doing agile, they're doing "catapault developement". i.e. lets launch a bunch of engineers and a crate of parts out of a catapault and hope they can build themselves a plane before they hit the ground.

    6. kbolino   10 years ago

      Agile can be done well. The other 99% of the time it is exactly as Stormy Dragon describes (I like that metaphor, btw).

      When done well, there has to be give-and-take between management and technical personnel. Going through the motions is meaningless if, at the end of the day, nobody is willing to say "no, they will have to wait until next sprint".

  47. Lee G   10 years ago

    So I was going thru my 3rd graders assignment on government (and diversity, because that belongs in a discussion of the roles and functions of government).

    Let me see if I can sum it up.

    Laws are great because what would we do without laws?

    The purpose of government is to make and enforce laws.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

      I'm assuming this is from a government school?

      1. Lee G   10 years ago

        But of course. I'm treating it as a teaching moment.

    2. Pat (PM)   10 years ago

      It's the governments job to watch out for us, to take care of us. That's their job.

      1. sarcasmic   10 years ago

        Wow. That's some weapon's grade derp right there.

        1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

          "What I found out is everything except how price mediates consumption."

    3. Zeb   10 years ago

      The purpose of government is to make and enforce laws.

      Seems like more of a definition of government. Pretty weird to call that the purpose.

      1. sarcasmic   10 years ago

        You can't secure the blessings of liberty without constantly creating and enforcing tens of thousands of pages of legislation and regulation that restricts what people can do.

        1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

          You quite obviously hate roads, sarcasmic. If you love liberty so much, why don't you move to Somalia?

    4. american socialist   10 years ago

      You should tell them a story about how the GG Bridge was built single-handedly by a banker.

      1. Zeb   10 years ago

        Do you imagine that you are making some kind of point here?

    5. Nativist, Racist & Xenophobe   10 years ago

      So I was going thru my 3rd graders assignment on government (and diversity, because that belongs in a discussion of the roles and functions of government).

      Of course it does. Diversity, above all else, is the state ideology. Even libertarians dare not challenge it.

  48. american socialist   10 years ago

    By my estimate there are about 10 Tashfeen Malik articles for every one about Robert Dear. But outside of right-wing fears of Muslims, the number of Americans going to Syria to fight for Khalifa al Baghdadi is vanishingly small and the appeal of radical Islam in America is basically limited to splinter groups amongst Somali and ME immigrants. On the other hand, rhetoric about fighting an oppressive federal government and the holocaust of abortion is the rhetoric de jour on right-wing talk radio and amongst mainstream Republicans.

    So, why are we talking more about radical Islam than we are talking about radical right-wingers in America? Don't the latter have much more support and potential for violence than the 0.0000001% of Americans that want Shariah Law?

    1. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      ZOMG!!!11!!! YOU ARE SOO RIGHT ITS LIKE YOU CANT GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT GETTING SHOT FOR ABORTION BRAH!11!!!! HOW MANY TIMEZ DID ABORTION GET SHOT THIS WEEK IT WAS LIKE FIFTY TIMEZ AT LEEST!!!! ON SNAP!!! THESE LIBBERTARDIANS ARE REALLY JUST TEATHUGLIKKKANZ AMIRITE????? LETS STOP TEH HIDING UV IT YEA!!!!

    2. Zeb   10 years ago

      Don't the latter have much more support and potential for violence than the 0.0000001% of Americans that want Shariah Law?

      I don't see much evidence that they do. How many people have been murdered by radical right wingers and by radical Muslims in the past several years?

      I don't think either is much of a problem in the US. But one could argue that the very fact that there are so few radical Muslims in the US and so many right-wingers shows that right-wingers pose a whole lot less danger in general than do radical Muslims when you consider how many attacks have come from such a small population.

      1. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

        If you arbitrarily take your starting year as 2002, you can almost make a point about right-wing extremism. A thoroughly dubious point that in any event doesn't make the point he's trying to make.

        1. MSimon   10 years ago

          Dear was mental. The San Berdoo shooters were rational.

  49. Trigger Warning   10 years ago

    Trump going third party would make Hillary moist. You're welcome.

    1. Nativist, Racist & Xenophobe   10 years ago

      Trump won't need to go third party. All he has to do is wait for the next terror attack and say, "I told you so!", and he's in like Flynn.

      1. kbolino   10 years ago

        Rewarding such naked opportunism sounds like a great way to sustain a republic of limited government.

  50. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

    If he took off his boot, you'd see the dicks growing of his foot, right?

  51. sarcasmic   10 years ago

    cool

  52. Illocust   10 years ago

    That's pretty neat. Thanks for the link Tundra.

  53. Lee G   10 years ago

    Gee, I thought ISIS had nothing to do with our invasion of Iraq. At least, that's what I've been told by a few commenters around here.

  54. Lee G   10 years ago

    I guarantee slide 9 will be used by some internet crank to show that ISIS controls West Virginia.

  55. CatoTheChipper   10 years ago

    Excellent overview of IS history, organization, strategy, and tactics.

    Note on slide 75: "IS confiscates weapons in its area of control as a matter of policy"

  56. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

    ^this.

  57. Zeb   10 years ago

    In my experience you get a whole lot of variation there.

  58. Derp-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

    We won the war in Iraq! Barry said so!

  59. OneOut   10 years ago

    It wasn't the entrance into Iraq that led to ISIS it was the exit.

  60. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

    I was really hoping he'd just demolish the course.

  61. R C Dean   10 years ago

    I larfed.

    Although, not as funny as the time I watched a basset hound work an agility course.

  62. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    I'd never thought I'd live to see the day when Tundra became a shill for Big Jock.

  63. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    First it was Dylan with IBM, then it was Tundra with Big Jock.

    WHO'S NEXT?

  64. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    I like painful friction, so no, I would not the call.

  65. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

    I dunno...what ya got if I did sell out?

  66. MSimon   10 years ago

    Ms. Klapschlepper.

  67. MSimon   10 years ago

    She changed her name because Horowitz is too suggestive and Nafkawitz was unavailable.

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