Carter Opens Door to Boots on the Ground in Iraq, Chicago Protesters Demand Emanuel Resign, Cast of Mad TV Reuniting: P.M. Links

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  • Fox

    In a Senate hearing today, Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said the U.S. may send military advisors to join Iraqi forces in their campaigns against ISIS.

  • The prime minister of Turkey accused Russia of perpetrating an "ethnic cleansing" in Syria.
  • Protesters in Chicago are demanding the resignation of Mayor Rahm Emanuel.
  • The first officer on trial for the death of Freddie Gray took the stand today.
  • An appeals board in New York upheld the new government-mandated minimum wage of $15 an hour for fast food workers.
  • The cast of Mad TV is reuniting in January for the sketch show's 20th anniversary.

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  1. The cast of Mad TV is reuniting in January for the sketch show’s 20th anniversary.

    That’s still on?

    1. It better have Will Sasso dammit.

      *puts on official Steven Seagal beret*

      1. Kenny Rogers or GTFO.

          1. Caliendo is a riot. His John Madden impersonation is a personal favorite.

            Also, Sasso and lemons.

    2. Hello.

      1. Andy Kim is a relative? I want to see tickets on the Reason swag list.

        1. Yes. Yes he is.

    3. It debuted 20 years ago?

      JESUS CHRIST I’M OLD

      1. I’m psychologically not aging well.

        1. There seems to be an extra, unnecessary word in that sentence.

          1. That too.

            1. Maybe he meant the word ‘not’?

              NOT.

    4. Dr Kylie Johnson was always a favorite of mine.

    5. That show was way funnier and edgier than SNL. I never understood why Fox did not get really behind it and challenge SNL. I think it would have worked and they would have stolen the market away.

      1. Way better. MADTV was vicious and didn’t have to kiss guest stars’ asses. And much better talent than SNL, consistently. Their golden age was about 1998-2002 with Sasso as a major cast member.

        1. I always thought MADtv was shitty, but the talent that went through it is undeniable. It’s hard to believe that show had Andy Daly, Key and Peele, Phil LaMarr, David Herman… Alex Borstein… others…

      2. Does anyone watch SNL because they expect it to be funny, though? It always feels like it’s a thing people watch because SNL is what people are expected to watch.

        Disclaimer: I never watched it, but I caught Best of Christopher Walken when it was on Netflix and was shocked by how shitty writing and acting was. Walken just made the rest of the cast look like total pikers, and barely managed to make material worth the time to watch it.

        1. The ones with Walken were awesome.

          Back in the day when Guest was writing, Murphy was part of the cast and the original cast were all pretty darn good.

          1. Oh, right, Murphy, Belushi and such stuff I saw was pretty good. Even accounting for curation effect, the Walken thing was just…sad. Like, if you put another comedian in Murphy’s “Undercover with white people” piece, it’s still funny. Remove Walken from The Continental and you get a dull thing that runs too long.

            1. I think even the 70s SNL was mostly about something being on late Saturday night when everyone is wasted and isn’t going to watch anything for more than a minute or so at a time. That why they always tell their punchlines at least 3 times.

              After about 1985, it simply became an institution that I think people watch and praise out of habit and nostalgia.

              Same reason people still read Rolling Stone.

              1. Same reason people still read Rolling Stone Reason HnR Links?

                1. Do people read the links?

            2. The cow bell one was good too.

              Thing about Walken was his aloofness to it.

            3. Don’t forget the dilution effect. SNL came out before HBO and Showtime Comedy Specials, before the Diceman figured out how to sell stand up at major arenas and before Comedy Central. SNL was getting cream of the crop, pick of the litter talent for their show. Fast forward 20 years, and there are so many outlets for sketch comedy/stand up acts it isn’t getting all A-list talent in the writing or delivery areas.

              1. The early troupe were all Second City veterans. Maybe they aren’t getting the seasoned cream of the crop from SC and have to rely on NYers. SNL has become much more provincial than it was in the early days.

        2. I really liked Phil Hartman, but that’s about it

          1. Hartman was the only good thing about SNL in the last 30 years.

            1. Jon Lovitz had his moments.

              1. And Joe Piscopo!

          2. uh…Chris fucking Farley?

            1. Down by the river!

        3. They occasionally have something pretty good, but the vast majority is terrible. And always has been terrible, even when there were lots of people we now consider great entertainers involved.

          There is a reason they are called the “not ready for primetime players” (or whatever it is).

          1. Even back when I considered it “good” it was still 50% crap, because the last half hour was such a dumping ground for shitty ideas, I guess because they assumed you were asleep by then. Somewhere along the way it just transitioned into being 100% crap.

            1. Back when Comedy Central constantly showed SNL reruns, I’d occasionally catch some from the original, or close to original cast, which undoubtedly had many great actors and writers, and was always surprised how bad most of it was.

    6. I always liked MAD better than SNL

      1. SNL had what tv writers considered “panache,” which is why it was taken more seriously. It was definitely not funnier because it almost always refused (and currently refuses) to push any boundaries, which creates uninteresting, staid humor.

        1. Well, it had National Lampoon as it’s “magazine”. At least, it did originally. That legacy caries a lot of weight with some viewers.

          I was an SNL fan in the 80’s, and a bit in the 90’s (not because of NL, per se). I never got into MAD, but I can definitely see I missed out on a lot.

  2. Protesters in Chicago are demanding the resignation of Mayor Rahm Emanuel.

    Never let a crisis go to waste.

    1. Yeah, Chicago voters should have elected the union shill that ran against him.

      I’m sure he’d have put those police in their place!

  3. An appeals board in New York upheld the new government-mandated minimum wage of $15 an hour for fast food workers.

    Sounds like some board members have invested in touchscreen menu systems.

    1. I’ve heard that in New York the paid wage for fast food works is already at $15 or more, simply because the town is so damn expensive they can’t get workers that don’t literally live on the street for cheaper.

      1. Except that rule spies to New York State, much of which does not have the same cost of living as NYC. Cuomo essentially got himself a new legislature after the elected one rejected his minimum wage proprosals. He is doing more 10th an his fair share of setting precedent for the dictatorship of the executive.

      2. In New York City, yes. But this applies to the whole damn state, because apparently a fast food restaurant in a nothing town upstate has to pay the same amount as one in the City or on Long Island, because that makes so much sense!

        1. I am rooting for Preet to take him down. C’mon, Preet!

          1. I heard the indictment is coming on 1/2.

          2. What’s he going to do, plant a wood chipper on him? We all know how much Preet loves wood chippers.

            1. Really? I heard he’s deadly, pants-shittingly scared of them.

        2. Exactly. It all weighed down cities like Buffalo and Rochester, making them uncompetitive, destroying them really.

          1. I’m from that area – they are one step above Detroit economy-wise. This will destroy the industry there.

        3. Jesus. I never thought the robot rebellion would be accelerated this way.

    2. what the hell is an “appeals board”?

      1. A place populated by Cuomo’s cronies.

      2. I think it’s something you can get at this site.

    3. They want to kill fast food joints. Because Gentrification.

  4. The first officer on trial for the death of Freddie Gray took the stand today.

    “We drove normally. It’s the DPW that should be on trial here.”

  5. The prime minister of Turkey accused Russia of perpetrating an “ethnic cleansing” in Syria.

    Well, at least Turkey’s talking about an ethnic cleansing.

    1. Armenians said wat?

      1. It’s all Greek to them.

  6. …Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said the U.S. may send military advisors to join Iraqi forces in their campaigns against ISIS.

    My least favorite Backstreet Boy.

    1. I thought he was married to Demi Moore?

      1. Glad I’m not the only one who read that as “Defense Secretary Ashton Kutcher’

    2. I think marrying Demi Moore ruined him.

      1. Who can keep up with her varacious appetite. She’s a machine.

      1. That was the Village People, not the Backstreet Boys.

        1. Certainly more seamen in the village people than in the backstreet boys.

          1. I’m pretty sure there was plenty of seamen flowing out the backstreet boys backstreets

          1. YVAN EHT NIOJ!

    3. If you haven’t seen the Backstreet Boys documentary, it’s worth watching. I am not and never have been a fan of boy band music, but the shit that manager put them through and the many ways in which he fucked those guys over is pretty amazing.

  7. Only sensible Trumpticle I read so far is over on Spiked: World War on Donald Trump is Truly Unhinged.

    Trump is, of course, an unlikely victim of political censorship ? he is everywhere. Nor is Trump any worthy champion of free speech; defending his other idiotic recent proposal to ‘close down’ parts of the internet, he dismissively noted that some people would object: ‘”Oh freedom of speech, freedom of speech.” These are foolish people.’ Speak for yourself, fool.

    However, the unhinged response to Trump is a revealing sign of the creeping culture of conformism and You Can’t Say That which seeks to delegitimise and outlaw any opinion that could not be expressed at a polite Manhattan dinner party. That’s why we should stand against any demands for the ‘complete and total shutdown’ of Donald Trump.

    Bonus BBC link: The Fear of Being Muslim – North Americans face Islam backlash. You Americans, always with your racism and mass violence against minorities…

    1. “However, the unhinged response to Trump is a revealing sign of the creeping culture of conformism and You Can’t Say That which seeks to delegitimise and outlaw any opinion that could not be expressed at a polite Manhattan dinner party. ”

      If A Trump presidency is what it takes to destroy this attitude then it may be worth it.

      1. Meh. Put him in charge of the Department of Education or something that would still make heads explode.

        1. Trump as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development would be priceless.

          1. Nah Uh.

            Permanent Secretary of State.

      2. Imagine a whole country with Tourette’s syndrome.

        1. So, the People’s Republic of Twitter?

    2. However, the unhinged response to Trump is a revealing sign of the creeping culture of conformism and You Can’t Say That which seeks to delegitimise and outlaw any opinion that could not be expressed at a polite Manhattan dinner party.

      That reminds of pants-shitting over the ban-muslim-immigration threads here.

      1. delegitimise and outlaw any opinion that could not be expressed at a polite Manhattan dinner party.

        I’ve been to a Manhattan dinner party where a lot of impolite opinions were expressed. Then again Catholics have no class…

        1. New York! Cocktail parties! Politeness!

    3. National Review has a similar sentiment.

    4. However, the unhinged response to Trump is a revealing sign of the creeping culture of conformism and You Can’t Say That

      Well I happen to miss You Can’t Say That, and would pay good money to watch Trump get green slime dumped on his head.

      1. He would have to admit ignorance. Therefore, alas, this will never happen.

    5. Trump has awful ideas and certainly deserves all the criticism but the reaction to him is unsurprisingly pearl clutching stupidity. To me, I just don’t see how his positions are any worse than Grandpa Gulag Sanders and that witch Hillary. All equally despicable if you ask me.

    6. That may be true. But Trump is still completely awful in every way. Getting all worked up over what Trump says is pretty pointless. He’s just being Trump ( which is probably a fictional character invented for TV). The disturbing part is that a lot of people think he is worth supporting.

      1. The Outrage Machine?? runs at full speed…every minute of every day. It never stops looking for its next source of fuel.

      2. Buster Unfriendly.

    7. Rush Limbaugh was pointing out today that what Trump proposes is legal according to 8 U.S. Code ? 1182 – “Inadmissible aliens” which reads:

      (f) Suspension of entry or imposition of restrictions by President
      Whenever the President finds that the entry of any aliens or of any class of aliens into the United States would be detrimental to the interests of the United States, he may by proclamation, and for such period as he shall deem necessary, suspend the entry of all aliens or any class of aliens as immigrants or nonimmigrants, or impose on the entry of aliens any restrictions he may deem to be appropriate.

      There is another part of that law that reads:

      (D) Immigrant membership in totalitarian party
      (i) In general
      Any immigrant who is or has been a member of or affiliated with the Communist or any other totalitarian party (or subdivision or affiliate thereof), domestic or foreign, is inadmissible.

      It is still a bigoted thing to do, but apparently legal as sea salt. As far as Islam is a totalitarian party, it is legal under that section as well.

      In 1979 Jimmy Carter used a similar act to stop Iranians from coming here, required those already here to report and fill out some questionnaires, and sent about 7,000 of them back to Iran. So there is precedent for restricting immigration based on nationality.

      1. Well, to paraphrase Chris Rock, it’s legal to drive with your feet, but that doesn’t make it a good idea. I mean, okay, it’s probably not actually legal to drive with your feet, but… where was I going with this?

        1. You can’t de feet us?

  8. Protesters in Chicago are demanding the resignation of Mayor Rahm Emanuel.

    I’m sure that power vacuum would be filled by a Democrat willing and able to rein in the Windy City’s corrupt police force.

    1. Anyone notice evolution of the D-derp boilerplate “working families like nurses, teachers, cops, and firefighters” has slowly morphed into “working families like nurses, teachers, cops, and firefighters”?

      Will be interesting to see the immovable rock of a D-derp union confronted with irresistible force of D-derp culture-war.

      1. The whole family works? As a firefighter?

      2. “”working families like nurses,”

        Who doesn’t like nurses ?

  9. Taxi Drivers Defiant As Tory Urges End to UberX Protest

    Despite pleas from Toronto’s mayor, taxi drivers won’t budge.
    Hundreds of cab drivers shut down Queen St. and Bay St. Wednesday afternoon as the drivers’ protest against the city and UberX continued.
    “We’re not going anywhere!” shouted the drivers defiantly as they sat down in the middle of the street, causing at least six streetcars to enter a standoff.
    Police in bicycles kept their eye on the protestors, but have not interfered.
    Mayor John Tory strongly urged hundreds of taxi drivers to stop blocking roadways before the afternoon rush hour.

    1. Won’t this just piss off everyone who hears on the radio that they can’t get home because the Taxi drivers are protesting? People generally get a lot less sympathetic to your cause when you start inconveniencing them, and going home traffic has enough negative emotions attached to it.

      1. At this point, I think the message is, “We can fuck with you without consequences. Want to fight, or pay the Danegeld?”

      2. I was thinking along the same lines. These people they’re inconveniencing could be possible customers. Also, it’s not only going home traffic, but just traffic in general in regards to Toronto which this is only going to fuel that.

        1. The taxidrivers’ real enemy is the Canuck Commission/Panel/Committee/Agency mess that has regulated them into noncompetitive, unattractive services. Not their fault for what they’ve become as an industry, but it is their fault playing the game thinking the rules could/would never change.

    2. Headline: Cab driver pounds on Uber car, dragged 20 metres in Toronto protest.

      From the article:

      Moments later, you can hear the taxi driver pound on the door, and there are more bumping noises as the UberX driver tries to escape the situation and the taxi driver clings to the side of the car.

      They even lost the commenters on this – someone compared it to Homer Simpson ‘getting stuck’ in vending machine, because he wouldn’t let go of the can.

        1. That’ll get you rammed here.

    3. Sorry, isn’t there some sort of law against deliberately blocking roadways? Do Canadians not have tow trucks or bulldozers?

  10. (Apologies if these were posted before… haven’t seen them here, but I’ve been away for a while)

    Seattle Officer Involved Shooting. Long car chase, cops corner him, light up the car when he tries to drive away.

    South African cop shoots at fleeing suspects from his motorcycle… in a crowded neighbourhood. It’s insane.

    1. Some cops watch too many action movies.

    2. Meh, the Seattle one, the guy was driving down the road, shooting out the window at pursuing cops.

      1. Is that where I think it is? Under the I-5 bridge in Wallingford just above Lake Union, a little east of Gasworks? Right near the Lake Union Ivar’s?

        1. Man, that’s nuts. I used to live a block off of Roosevelt right where he’s driving up the wrong way at the beginning there. I’m not sure where that is in the final shootout, though.

          1. So I’m right, right? I drive through there on 40th all the time to get to the U District. I didn’t follow the rest of the chase, I just started it and went “I know exactly where that is”.

      2. First video-cop manages to take out his own car rear-ending the Camaro, which just gave the Camaro a boost across the street. Doh.

    3. I like how he rammed the prius.

  11. So Ween is coming back, my friends, and will be playing in NYC on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday in April. Which day do I choose? Friday or Saturday? I’m indecisive enough about Christmas gifts, I don’t need this additional dilemma.

    1. I’d recommend going and seeing whomever is playing on Sunday.

    2. Woo. I’d like to go, but I probably won’t.

      Shut the fuck up, Bobarian, Ween rules.

    3. Do they all have to promise not to drink so Gener doesn’t lose his shit again?

  12. In a Senate hearing today, Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said the U.S. may send military advisors to join Iraqi forces in their campaigns against ISIS.

    I was thinking about my misspent youth the other day, and was vividly remembering the 80s, especially the early 80s. Vietnam was a mere 15+ years behind us, so it came up frequently when referring to problematic foreign entanglements. “Advisors” was always a watchword whenever some official wanted to use them in a foreign conflict. And all conflicts were immediately compared to Vietnam: Were you sending in Advisors, were your goals clear, was there an exit strategy.

    Ahh, simpler times.

    1. Correction, 5+ years behind us.

    2. Remember that 1990 Newsweek cover featuring George HW Bush saying “This will not be another Vietnam”, in regards to Iraq?

      Yeah.

      1. Yep, and I remember reams of editorials in the newspapers making references to Vietnam.

      2. It’s only another Vietnam if the president is a Republican. Never mind the fact that the president to got us involved in the first Vietnam was a Democrat.

        1. No that war belonged to Nixon (who ended it). Need to refererence your nyt archives.

          1. And Eisenhower* started it, because he didn’t arm North Vietnam and gave them air support in their campaign against the South.

            *Wait, Eisenhower is honorary Democrat these days, yes? Let’s put all blame on Nixon, and claim it was his evil genius as VP doing it.

      3. Not too many jungles in Iraq, so not the same.

  13. On the reception and detection of pseudo-profound bullshit (PDF)

    These results support the idea that some people are more receptive to this type of bullshit and that detecting it is not merely a matter of indiscriminate skepticism but rather a discernment of deceptive vagueness in otherwise impressive sounding claims. Our results also suggest that a bias toward accepting statements as true may be an important component of pseudo-profound bullshit receptivity.

    1. pseudo-profound bullshit receptivity

      You know what is a surprise? PPBR. Did you know that 1 in 3 Americans have the PPBR virus inside them? That’s why I am asking people like you to ask your doctor about a vaccine that can help prevent PPBR. How do I know? because I once suffered from the symptoms of PPBR, including unsightly, oozing and rash words. But no more. You don’t need to suffer, now there’s hope. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist today.

    1. You can only be at war with defined groups, not vague generalities like “militant Islam”.

      I can’t remember why but I do know that Sasse is some kind of authoritarian puke.

      1. So we can’t be at war with communism? Bummer.

    1. Sticky rice.

        1. Do they not have diplomatic immunity there?

  14. Hi everyone,

    I finally finished my promised Ancap response to the terrorist attacks in Paris. It’s up on the Liberty Papers.

    How Anarchists Should Confront the Enemy Within

    Sorry it took so long, but work and home life has been really hectic lately.

    1. Thanks. That looks like bathtub reading (things I read while in the tub).

        1. *starts up porn guitar music*

          1. When in the tub, I scrape the dead skin off the heels of my feet. Very sexy if you’re into that kinda thing, and who isn’t?

            1. Thanks, I need to change my pants.

            2. That’s when I do it too. You have to remember to not run the jets though, otherwise the dead skin will be in the next bath too.

            3. Pics?

              1. CHeck out the pic linked in her name. I’m just going to assume that’s Ms. Eleanor Lavish.

        2. Nein dizbatcher says zere iss problem mit deine kable.

      1. Poll question time: What do you read in the tub?

        1. A lot.

          1. If they can’t afford hot tubs or spas…

          2. More of a whirlpool, but yes.

          3. I rented my current apartment about 90% for the tub.

            1. Sounds like a small apartment?

          4. I haven’t been in a tub (alone) since I’ve been an adult that I can remember.

          5. Coleman: Jacuzzi, Sir?
            Billy Ray: Jacuzzi? See, I knew you all was faggots!
            Coleman: It’s a whirlpool bath, Sir. I think you’ll enjoy it.
            [starts Jacuzzi]
            Billy Ray: Heey! This is all right! When I was a kid, we wanted bubbles, we had to fart in the tub!

            1. Kramer: I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath.
              Jerry: No good?
              Kramer: It’s disgusting. I’m sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.
              Jerry: Well, you used to sit in that hot tub.
              Kramer: Jerry, that was superheated water, nothing could live in that!

              1. That’s always a funny objection to baths. All that stuff was just on your skin and now it isn’t. Now it isn’t. General disgust with bacteria is a sign of mental illness.

                1. “Whenever there’s a hurricane they tell you to fill your bathtub with water in case the drinking water goes out. Whoever came up with that has obviously never seen my bathtub. I have germs the size of turtles in there. I’d rather take my chances than deal with those turtle germs.”

          6. Yeah. Who the fuck wants to bathe standing up? I pretty much only take baths unless it’s really hot or I’m in a hurry and I stink.

            1. Maybe when I’m wealthy enough to find a tub that fits my six foot frame, I’ll try baths. Sitting with my legs in a pool of water is not enjoyable, while a hot shower with water cascading over my entire being is a pleasure.

        2. I’m prone to UTIs so I don’t take baths

          *wins least sexy response*

          1. Who wants to take that bet?

          1. other stuff being “Us Weekly”

        3. In the tub I like to read Hemingway while sipping a nice, single-malt scotch.

        4. Norsk folkeeventyr

      2. I just play with my rubber ducky.

        1. Oh, that’s Canadian for penis, right…I mean A?

          1. EH.

            LEARN CANADIAN.

    2. Good post, tarran.

    3. Consider your current situation. How would you, left to your own devices, free of any worries of the law stopping you, but acting within the strictures of the nonagression principle, personally protect yourself, your family or your country against the enemy within? That will be an ancap response.

      Arm myself. Unfortunately, the reality is: “worries of the law stopping you”.

      I can ignore the laws that try to stop me, but I’m not a fan of Russian Roulette.

    4. Good essay.

      There are no public accommodation laws, no bans on weapons, no laws to dictate how people interact with their customers.

      That’s not really true. Such rules could be set through webs of contracts, or some of it could arise in common law. There probably would be greater latitude in all respects, but it’s not necessarily true that there wouldn’t be certain legal duties placed upon business owners or restrictions on weaponry.

      In many ways, the reaction of Ancapistan would be more ruthless and vicious than what modern republics would tolerate. It would also be more decentralized and resilient to the enemy within.

      This is correct and a good point that I think many critics miss.

      1. I am sure Ancapistan would actually be pretty robust when it comes to dealing with decentralized/loney wolf types like the Paris and San Bernardino shooters. Ancapistan would crumble and fall to servitude as soon as it is presented with any kind of organized enemy.

  15. Carl and Ms. Eleanor’s 18 Day’s of Star Wars

    Day 9: Double Feature!

    Star Wars Fans Already Lining Up to See The Force Awakens

    The Times got a choice interview with an Australian woman at the front of the line, Caroline Ritter:

    “We’re lining up for the new ‘Star Wars’ movie. Yes, we still have a very long time to wait. No, we’re not crazy.”

    [Asked why he was standing in line in the days of prepurchasing, another camper said] “…but you come for the camaraderie and the chance to be a part of cinematic history. Besides, there are traditions to be upheld.”

    Meet the couple having a Star Wars-themed wedding at TCL Chinese Theatre on opening night

    While Caroline Ritter has done the roughly 15-hour flight from Australia to L.A. two times before to see Star Wars films on opening night at TCL Chinese Theatre IMAX in Hollywood, this time will be extra memorable.

    Before the Star Wars: The Force Awakens premieres, Ritter will be having the themed wedding of every Star Wars fan’s dreams at the historic theater.

    I’m sure everyone else will thank you for stinking up the theater for your “tradition”.

      1. Good thinking. We don’t want him in the bath with us.

    1. Did Anonbot just get an upgrade?

    2. No, we’re not crazy.

      I doubt anyone is giving you that much credit.

    3. I wonder how badly these movies will suck.

      1. Likely better than episodes 1 – 3 but not as good as episodes 4 – 6

        1. There are only three Star Wars movies… I don’t know what fantasy world you live in.

      2. Abrams is in charge so they will probably be awesome.

  16. Two articles from Ohio.

    Democrats in the legislature want to restrict prolife picketers. Says one Democrat: “If you’re going to throw fuel on a fire, we’re going to be the ones putting out the fire and rescuing these folks,.”

    Meanwhile, one of “these folks” got rescued from an abortion clinic by an ambulance after she started to bleed during her abortion.

    1. One of the problems with this being such a hot button political issue is that the true risks in having an abortion (Both physical and psychological) are not really known by the general public. One side exaggerates the problem because they see abortion as evil, while the other side likes to pretend problems don’t exist for fear of helping their opponents.

      I sometimes wish we lived in a world where people were more honest with one another.

      1. It’s safer than having a child, both physically and psychologically.

        1. I’m sure an abortion is safer on the body than caring to term and giving birth, but I don’t think it’s psychologically safer. That’s a hard claim to measure.

        2. And just like that, Nikki chucks a grenade into the bleachers…

          1. Women who have had an abortion have psychological issues. Women who have had children have psychological issues. Women who have not had an abortion have psychological issues. Women who have not had children have psychological issues.

            1. I understand what you’re saying here and I don’t like it.

              YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK, BUSTER!

            2. What is the common factor in all of these?

              1. Is there a venn diagram?

        3. I’m well aware of your anti-procreation beliefs.

          1. I don’t think that is terribly controversial, though, whatever your views on procreation. At least the physical part.

            1. Well if there is going to be any sort of future then procreation is kind of important. At least a future for humans. I would hate for anti-procreation views to catch on, humanity is too important to just piss it away on nihilism and selfishness.

              1. Wait, important to what? Humanity is important to humans, and if humans don’t want to continue any more…

    2. I don’t know. 15′ is pretty damn close. Seems like some personal space to enter and leave is not an outragous inconvenience to the protesters. You want to to keep the peace. If I’m trying to go somewhere and someone gets in my face I’m going to knock them out. Not kidding.

      1. This goes beyond saying “don’t get in my face.”

        This would prohibit an old lady from handing out leaflets to people as they come into the clinic.

        Wouldn’t you rather just say no to the leaflet than knock out some old lady?

        1. I think there’s already a crime for which you can be prosecuted if you get right in someone’s face and put them in fear of unwanted touching – the crime of assault.

        2. You can’t stand 15′ on either side and offer them?

        3. What constitutes a protest? A couple old ladies handing out literature? Big difference between that and have to walk a gauntlet through a mob.

          1. I looked up the relevant clause and it says nothing about a mob. It would be illegal to “Follow and harass another person within fifteen feet of the premises of a reproductive health care facility.” There’s no requirement that the defendant be part of a mob.

            Also, there’s a *separate* section against people withing the buffer zone putting clients in fear of physical harm. So presumably “follow[ing] and harass[ing]” means *more* than threatening harm.

            Of course, I suppose you could rely on Officer Friendly to respect the First Amendment and not get creative with what he thinks constitutes “follow[ing] and harass[ing].”

            1. I think I remember being basically called a fascist when I said that I was philosophically sympathetic to a ban on public cursing – even though I instantly added that I *opposed* such laws because they would not be fairly enforced.

              1. Come to think of it, since a panhandler isn’t a reproductive health care facility, either, the bill would allow a panhandler to get within 15 feet of you to pester you about spare change (for bus fare, of course).

        4. I’m annoyed enough by people trying to hand me shit as I swipe for the subway.

          1. But the bill wouldn’t ban *that.*

            In other words, the stuff you’re talking about would remain legal and the same behavior outside an abortion clinic would become illegal.

            1. I mean a subway isn’t a “reproductive health facility.” So it’s not covered.

              You’re out of luck.

              1. Come to think of it, since a panhandler isn’t a reproductive health care facility, either, the bill would allow a panhandler to get within 15 feet of you to pester you about spare change (for bus fare, of course).

              2. Come to think of it, since a panhandler isn’t a reproductive health care facility, either, the bill would allow a panhandler to get within 15 feet of you to pester you about spare change (for bus fare, of course).

    3. If the restriction is specific to abortion clinics, then it’s arguably a case of intended, albeit indirect, viewpoint discrimination; after all, there’s only one political group that would likely be affected. If they made it general to all businesses, they would be on more solid footing, constitutionally speaking.

  17. The first officer on trial for the death of Freddie Gray took the stand today.

    It’s hard out there for a Minister of Defence.

  18. So I’m out of town this week, but from what I hear everyone in Seattle is in a tizzy about some kind of “white power rally” happening soon. Now, I hear that phrase and picture half a dozen skinheads dressed like Travis Bickle marching with a banner made out of a bedsheet with a swastika spraypainted on it, but by Seattle’s standards a social gathering of two or more Republicans would probably be described as a white power rally, so I’m not sure.

    In any case, people are acting like this is some kind of sign of the end of days, so of course they must endlessly write articles about it and organize presumably much larger counter rallies and so forth. I hate Nazis as much as the next red-blooded American, but isn’t raising their media profile and giving them lots of attention and conflict a dream come true for these guys? Isn’t the best revenge imaginable to let them have their stupid parade and ignore them completely?

    1. I haven’t seen anything about this, but then again, I avoid local tv news like the plague.

    2. Both sides like to feed each other…

    3. Huh, Times only has this on the front page.

      But it’s essentially the same story we’ve been hearing on every major news outlet since 11 seconds after the Paris shooting.

      Anti-Islamic rhetoric shakes Snoqualmie’s Muslim families

      Well, here’s this on the front page of The Stranger:

      When a Mass Killer Is a White Christian, He’s a Lone Lunatic, but When He’s Muslim, He Represents All Muslims

      I haven’t read the article but I strongly suspect it misses the point by 500 nautical miles.

      1. We should introduce the writer of the Stranger article to Palin’s “christfag” Buttplug.

      2. and people who want to enforce that pesky “well-regulated” part of the Second Amendment.

        Fail, Mr. Savage. Go back and read the amendment using the contextual grammar and punctuation.

        Plus, are you the leader of a militia? If not, you don’t enforce a fucking thing on them.

        1. Just remember, the wisdom of the SCOTUS is beyond reproach when it comes to ObamaCare and gay marriage, and only the most insane and regressive of people would try to continue legal challenges on those subjects, but when those same justices say the 2nd Amendment guarantees an individual right, well, since when does the Supreme Court get to decide what the Constitution means, that’s just crazy talk!

          1. True dat. That shithead, and his followers, just cannot imagine anything that isn’t overseen/regulated/monitored by some form of government.

            Why, it’s it chaos defined to suggest these militias were just groups of men in he community working together. I mean, how in the hell would they even know what to do without a government official guiding them???

            1. “I mean, how in the hell would they even know what to do without a government official guiding them???”

              They must think that real life is like Age of Empires – if a central authority doesn’t give every single person their orders and dictate where each building shall be placed, everyone will just stand around in loincloths making unintelligible grunts.

        2. Also, it doesn’t say “the militia shall be regulated.”

        3. OMG, it’s Dan Savage’s brother.

          I wonder if Brother Dan also wants to let the government disarm gay people and leave them to the tender mercies of the hordes of gay-bashers who (Brother Dan believes) are lurking everywhere?

          1. Can’t they see the logic of their own positions?

            There are gangs of roving homophobes ready to pounce on vulnerable gays, but let’s have gun control!

    4. I don’t know. I wouldn’t shit my pants over it but I think shining light on those cockroaches is appropriate. As are the counter rallies.

    5. Isn’t the best revenge imaginable to let them have their stupid parade and ignore them completely?

      Of course, but you probably like freedom and liberty.

      Anyway, from what I know, during a white power rally the color guards are usually colored, so there is that.

      1. Don’t let that flag touch the ground!

    6. This is how it is in the UK. The EDF or SDF plan a rally, twenty pathetic grifters show up, and a thousand Uni students with nothing better to do show up and counter-protest, sniffing their own farts.

      1. sorry, I think it’s EDL / SDL

  19. In case you guys haven’t seen this…

    This kind of lockstep groupthink is a creepy as Trump himself.

    1. FriendsWhoLikeTrump.com Will Make You Want To Delete Your Facebook

      No, that isn’t what makes me want to delete my facebook.

      1. “No, that isn’t what makes me want to delete my facebook.”

        Is it cats?

        1. No, cats are what make me keep my facebook.

    2. Crime & Weird Associate Editor, The Huffington Post

      I really need a new job title, or to find a way to get paid posting that drivel.

      Also, people are the worst.

    3. “When you go to friendswholiketrump.com, it redirects you to your own Facebook’s search page”

      Just a blank screen for me.

  20. Big fucking surprise:

    http://www.delawareonline.com/…..=hootsuite

    1. Aside from what he was charged with, I understand why he didn’t lose his job for the following example, but how doesn’t he lose his job for this:

      Several months earlier, Webster and another officer had taken two drunken suspects from a 7-Eleven in Dover to a rural area near a wildlife refuge by Little Creek and left them there, even though one of them had asked to be taken to a hospital, according to court papers filed by the prosecution. Webster was suspended for 10 days and put on nine-month disciplinary probation.

      1. No shit, right? They basically kidnapped two people and dumped them in the woods for laughs. What kind of asshole sadist does that kind of shit?

        1. Well, there’s this guy:

          Fred Calhoun, president of the Delaware Fraternal Order of Police, praised the verdict, saying that it would “go a long way with my brothers and sisters” to make them feel supported.

          Because, yeah…this trial was about assuring your need for adoration.

          Cocksmear.

    2. We don’t want to set a precedent.

    3. “The 12 member jury that decided the Webster case ? nine women, *two of whom were black,* and three men, one of whom was Asian ? handed down their verdict on Tuesday just before 3 p.m., after hearing five days of testimony. They started deliberating on Friday.” [emphasis added]

      Well, I suppose the white jurors simply overawed the black women jurors. You know how black women will go along with white people just to avoid a confrontation.

      OR…

      This is more than a simple question of black versus white.

      Maybe there’s a reserve of law ‘n order sentiment among black people? And maybe the media aren’t interviewing the law ‘n order types as much as the “OMG racist white cops” types?

  21. These are the people gun grabbers think should be the only ones armed.

    http://myfox28columbus.com/new…..=hootsuite

    1. The cognitive dissonance that makes of the average prog’s mind is truly baffling. I remember a progressive guy I work with who was pissed off about the Freddie Grey murder, he was talking about how it was time for people to start killing cops, the cops had it coming. I suggested one thing that might help was getting rid of the police unions, and suddenly the guy starts defending the police unions.

      The guy was ok with killing cops on the street, but somehow drew the line at getting rid of their unions.

      1. Because social justice is about emoting, not thinking. Emoting often leads people to irrational conclusions.

    2. ” There’s been an accidental discharge at my house.

      There has??? How’d that happen???

      The deputy was showing off a gun at the time, Sheriff Reader said.

      Thanks, Fox28, for putting some stating actions.

      1. I had an accidental discharge in my house yesterday.

        I was taking one of those stand up baths discussed up thread and in my enthusiam for vigirious hygine my gun went off.

        No one was hurt although there is a dent in the shower wall.

  22. So, will be get to retire with full benefits? Or will he get to go to rehab on the taxpayer,dime and then retire with full benefits?

    http://www.nj.com/politics/ind…..=hootsuite

  23. Wow. Unbelievable.

    A former U.S. State Department employee pleaded guilty today to perpetrating a widespread, international e-mail phishing, computer hacking and cyberstalking scheme against hundreds of victims in the United States and abroad.

    Ford then used the stolen photos and PII to engage in an ongoing cyberstalking campaign designed to demand additional sexually explicit material and personal information. Ford e-mailed his victims with their stolen photos attached and threatened to release those photos if they did not cede to his demands. Ford repeatedly demanded that victims take sexually explicit videos of “sexy girls” undressing in changing rooms at pools, gyms and clothing stores, and then send the videos to him.

    1. When the victims refused to comply, threatened to go to the police or begged Ford to leave them alone, Ford responded with additional threats. For example, Ford wrote in one e-mail “don’t worry, it’s not like I know where you live,” then sent another e-mail to the same victim with her home address and threatened to post her photographs to an “escort/hooker website” along with her phone number and home address. Ford later described the victim’s home to her, stating “I like your red fire escape ladder, easy to climb.” Ford followed through with his threats on several occasions, sending his victims’ sexually explicit photographs to family members and friends.

      During the relevant time period, Ford was employed by the U.S. Embassy in London. The majority of Ford’s phishing, hacking and cyberstalking activities were conducted from his computer at the U.S. Embassy.

      1. “Nation to Ford: Drop Dead”

      2. You did not quote the humorous part of the story:

        When a public servant in a position of trust commits any form of misconduct, to include federal crimes such as cyberstalking and computer hacking, we vigorously investigate such claims,” said Director Miller

  24. Question and Comment Time with Cytotoxic: we need to face the possibility that Trump is GOP Corbyn to prevent him from becoming America’s Chavez, or, more likely, assuring the election of President Clinton (which could be necessary to prevent the former scenario). We may need a viable third party candidate. Forget about a doctrinaire libertarian. I suggest Mark Sanford. What do you think?

    1. Yeah, who’s this “we”, Canuck sabe?

      In any case, I’m putting all of my efforts into summoning the Old Ones from their slumber in hopes they will allow me the privilege to die first when they arrive to consume this pitiful planet, and I suggest everyone else do the same.

      1. “who’s this “we”, Canucck sabe”

        Please stop that. Very tiresome.

        1. “Please stop that. Very tiresome.”

          HaHaHaHaHa

          Not nearly so tiresome as the “we” of which you are no part of.

          Why don’t you invest your time in worrying aout your “we” and leave our “we” to us.

          1. So very tiresome.

            Any intelligent people have anything to add?

            1. We we have nothing to add.

    2. Meh, I’ll just stay home instead. Life is much less stressful since I stopped giving a shit about the Trumpocalypse.

  25. So, there’s been an uptick in crime here in my town over the past 3 or 4 weeks, and I’m looking for some product suggestions.

    First: SimpliSafe… worth it, or not?
    Second: Defense weapon… I’m thinking 12-gauge, but I’m looking for specific recommendations.

    1. 12-gauge with a really loud racking mechanism.

      Plus, ADT stickers on your windows.

    2. Just hang a Gadsden Flag in front of your house and save some money.

      1. Fill the windows with Trump pictures.

  26. Did anyone take responsibility for this?

  27. Just read about this. I’m sure the DOJ is currently drafting subpoenas to get all our real names so as to mark us POI.

  28. My mouse’s left button is not working well. Can’t select a bunch of text reliably. What do I do? Can I fix it?

    1. Take a can of compressed air and see if you can get the gunk out. If that doesn’t fix it, just get a new one.

      1. I don’t have compressed air. There aren’t even any damn screws on this thing I cannot disassemble it.

        1. First, get some compressed air when you’re buying a new mouse at Best Buy… it helps you maintain your keyboard and your mouse.

          Second, you can typically pry up the buttons just enough to get the straw from the compressed air canister under it, and sometimes you can blast the gunk out without disassembling your mouse.

          Finally, stop wanking within firing range of your mouse.

          1. Okay crisis appears to be over. I put my lips on it and blew that seems to have worked.

    2. Yeah. Go to your web browser. Google “Best Buy”. Map the directions to your nearest one. Purchase a new mouse. Take it home and plug it into a sub port. Throw your old one away.

      1. Okay. I could ask for a new gaming mouse for Christmas.

    3. There’s a browser plug-in for that.

  29. OT: For the after-dinner comment-crowd: Brits collect signature barring Trump from entry; well, That. Shows. Him.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-35049955

    1. I’m practically blinded by all the signalling that’s going on.

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