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Webathon

Donate to Reason in the Webathon's Final Hours, Because You Want to Crush Mother Jones Like a Grape!

Our friendly competitor's fundraising campaign, we mean!

Matt Welch | 12.8.2015 6:19 PM

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Peter Suderman, Katherine Mangu-Ward, and Nick Gillespie. ||| The Bible.
The Bible.

SHAZAM! We went from being 147 donors short of our Webathon goal 24 hours ago to beating all comers like a redheaded stepmule: 1,439 individual donations as of 5:15 p.m. ET, smashing last year's previous record of 1,178 right in the kisser. On behalf of the poorly dressed Reason staff (pictured below), I thank you. AND YET I DO NOT RELEASE YOU.

(Make your tax-deductible donation to Reason at this link, etc.)

I do not release you for two reasons. 1) Because even though we're now

None of this is my fault. ||| Katherine Mangu-Ward
Katherine Mangu-Ward

three grand ahead of last year's all-time record of $224,000 in Webathon donations, we're still a tick over $22,000 short of our audacious goal of a quarter-million dollars, with six hours to go. AND GOALS ARE IMPORTANT. Especially because 2) We seek to seal our victory over Mother Jones.  

Last night I mentioned that our frenemies over at the left-bent investigative outlet are also running a December fundraiser (magazines of political opinion being, as they are, perpetual money-losers that depend either on sugar parents or the kind of diversified nonprofit structures us & MoJo prefer), in which they—of the significantly larger overall budget, mind you!—are asking for $200,000. We want our fundraiser to be bigger, and its percentage of our overall operating budget to be much bigger. In order to ensure that, let's quote from their pitch.

First: Obviously Mother Jones and Reason are cosmotarian, California-based drinking buddies (we let them borrow our monocles, they loan us their berets), but…what's that? We're all too old for "cocktail parties," except for the pictured Reason staffers? ANYWAYS. Read these MoJo words, starting with the headline "There's One Piece of Democracy That Fat Cats Can't Buy," and get ready to pull out your credit cards:

Over the past six years, America has seen a dramatic expansion of the power of the 0.01 percent. First it was economic power: Because of everything from tax policy to the financialization of the economy, wealth has become radically concentrated. That wealth bought political power: Citizens United, the explosion of dark money, the billionaire primary. Now the same concentration of power and wealth is playing out in another arena that is critical to democracy: media.

Yeah, not the best cover, SUE ME. ||| Reason
Reason

(Donate to Reason here. Reason on Citizens United here, including Jacob Sullum's "You Are Now Free to Speak About Politics: Why do some people fear a less restricted debate?")

Our industry is in the middle of an epochal shift in how content is produced, distributed, and, most importantly, paid for. […]

Basically, what you get is an arms race of ever more annoyed users versus ever more desperate publishers—and eventually, the whole foundation of the model starts falling apart. Because increasingly, the people who own the eyeballs are not the publishers, but the companies—Facebook, Snapchat, Apple, Verizon—on whose apps and devices you access media content. (For more on how "tech is eating media," see this smart essay by John Herrman.) If those companies want to sell those eyeballs and keep the money for themselves, they can do that.

And, of course, they do.

(Donate to Reason here.)

Just as superwealthy individuals can now single-handedly underwrite political campaigns, so too can they create news organizations from whole cloth.

Sometimes they do it for thoughtful civic reasons, as when eBay founder Pierre Omidyar launched First Look Media. Other times they are hoping for a payoff down the road, like the venture capital investors who are pouring millions into Buzzfeed, the Huffington Post, and Vox. Occasionally it's not quite clear—why, really, did Amazon's Jeff Bezos buy the Washington Post? Whatever the motive, the dangers are obvious[.]

What ELSE do Donald Trump and Mother Jones have in common??? ||| Twitter
Twitterz

(Donate to Reason here. Me on "Jeff Bezos and the Great Beyondists.")

News doesn't make money. It never has. Actual, original reporting has always been a de facto nonprofit endeavor, paid for with the revenue from other things (say, sitcoms in a broadcast network, or custom printing in a newspaper company). The only way to end up with a small fortune in journalism is to start with a large one.

(Donate to Reason here. Me on "Bailing Out One of the 20th Century's Best Business Models.")

We wish our pals further success, just slightly less than shiny than ours. We have six hours left. You know what to do.

FILL THAT RECTANGLE WITH ORANGEY GOODNESS, PEOPLE.

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

NEXT: Wired Presents Very Convincing Circumstantial Case They've Identified Bitcoin Creator 'Satoshi Nakamoto' [UPDATED! Let the Debunking Commence!]

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

Webathon
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  1. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

    Shazam!

    1. Hugh Akston   9 years ago

      Oh Mighty ISIS!

  2. Libertymike   9 years ago

    Nothing screams, "COSMO LEFT LIBERTARIAN" like Matt's title and subtitle.

  3. Hugh Akston   9 years ago

    Okay I think I've got all the costumes, except for the one on the left. Is that ENB dressed as...?

    1. Hugh Akston   9 years ago

      Or is that KMW? Hard to tell with that weird goth hair over her face.

      1. Episiarch   9 years ago

        It's Elizabeth. I have idea what the costume is supposed to be, but as the laziest costume maker on the planet, I can't exactly throw stones.

        1. Hugh Akston   9 years ago

          I sort of want to say "hipster scumbag", but that's how she dresses everyday?

          1. Episiarch   9 years ago

            That's uncalled for, Hugh. Here in Seattle I see real hipster scumbags. Elizabeth is more hipster jerkoff than hipster scumbag. You know, like Nicole. It's a subtle difference that I'm sure you're incapable of discerning, but I have a practiced eye.

            1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

              While that's normally true...

              In that photo she's a "health goth." It's a joke about the NYT Styles section, which, right the fuck on.

              1. Episiarch   9 years ago

                Right, Nicole confirms "hipster jerkoff", so that's settled. At least that's what I'm able to glean from her grunts and whistles. Thanks, Nicole.

              2. Elizabeth Nolan Brown   9 years ago

                http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12.....-meet.html

                1. Elizabeth Nolan Brown   9 years ago

                  dude, I used to sell raw vegan nut pate at a Brooklyn basement food market. I'm OK with hipster jerkoff. But can we also include Suderman in this category? http://petersudermanisafuckinghipster.tumblr.com/

                  1. Episiarch   9 years ago

                    Oh. My. God.

                    I think Peter just blew you out of the water. That's probably a good thing.

                    1. Just say Nikki   9 years ago

                      Bitch please.

                  2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

                    HOLLEEE SHIT

                    That exists solely for my pleasure.

                  3. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

                    All of those Suderman posts are from five years ago. Give the kid a break. He was probably fresh out of college so, you know, hot lava and raccoons?

                2. Episiarch   9 years ago

                  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA awesome. Why didn't you link this, Nicole? Huh?

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

      It's not a costume.

  4. Overt   9 years ago

    Fine, Fine. Let me write a check for $20,000. Now you can't cash it until Dec 9, 2045, ok?

  5. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

    Do I get anything for being the donor that pushes Reason over the top?

    1. Sevo   9 years ago

      Over the top of what?

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   9 years ago

        Their donation goal.

        1. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

          Damn, I was hoping for Old Smokey

  6. kilroy   9 years ago

    "News doesn't make money. It never has."

    Pretty sure there was a time when it did ...

  7. __Warren__   9 years ago

    Grapes don't have arms, or any sort of limb so they're not all that great a crushing things. Is that fruit you really want to go with?

  8. Episiarch   9 years ago

    Hmm, I've probably waiting long enough. Maybe a little while longer, just because I'm a dick.

    1. Pro Libertate   9 years ago

      You donated to Mother Jones again, didn't you?

      1. Episiarch   9 years ago

        I donated, uh, something to a mother, but it wasn't Jones' mother. Take a guess as to whose it was.

        1. Pro Libertate   9 years ago

          Seriously, you should donate in gold.

          1. Episiarch   9 years ago

            Do I look Swiss to you?

            1. Pro Libertate   9 years ago

              More Italo-Nazi.

  9. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

    "we let them borrow our monocles, they loan us their berets"

    A true libertarian would keep the beret, not return it and sell it on eBay - because profit and we'd not be caught dead in one.

    1. Ted S.   9 years ago

      A true libertarian would have pointed out the difference between "loan" and "lend".

  10. Phlogistan   9 years ago

    Give Hope!

    Give a Goat!

  11. Aloysious   9 years ago

    Heh. Nice pics.

  12. Racist, Xenophobe & Nativist   9 years ago

    I like that Supported By banner that lists out the donors. It might be worth tossing a few bucks just to have some fun with that... let's see:
    Supported By:
    Adolf Hitler
    The Jews
    KKK
    Paris Hilton
    Donald Trump
    Koch Bros.
    Eva Peron
    NAMBLA
    Black Lives Matter

    Could get pretty creative with that...

    1. Hugh Akston   9 years ago

      Tulpa if you actually had any money you should use it to buy your mom out of indentured servitude to Arby's.

      1. Episiarch   9 years ago

        Arby's? I thought it was Roy Rogers.

      2. Voros McCracken   9 years ago

        "Arbys: bigger than Jesus, realer than God"

        1. Episiarch   9 years ago

          No, Voros, these sandwiches are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.

  13. Troy muy grande boner   9 years ago

    Who are those 4 losers in the picture? Can a portion of a donation be set aside to buy these poor hosers a wardrobe?

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      It's Reason's millennial hipsters on Halloween.

  14. grrizzly   9 years ago

    Who can name all the staffers in this horrible picture?

  15. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

    Can we do an auction? Tulpa said he's not going to donate, but he's still going to shit the comments up.

    I'll give another $250 if he's permanently banned. Anyone else?

    1. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

      I will add another $100 to that pot.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

        Sweet. $350 for a Tulpa ban. Anyone else?

        1. This Machine   9 years ago

          I'll do another $100 if you IP ban Tulpa.

          1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

            We're at $450.

            $500, anyone? Do I hear $500???

  16. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

    If they reach $250,000, everyone gets a turn at firsties.

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

      I could be first if I wanted to. But I don't.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   9 years ago

        No one understands the great burden that comes with it.

  17. Pan Zagloba   9 years ago

    Donate to Reason in the Webathon's Final Hours, Because You Want to grind Mother Jones Like a Woodchipper!

    Seriously, you couldn't even pander right?

    1. Pro Libertate   9 years ago

      They should bet covers for whichever wins. For instance, if MJ were to win, then Reason would have to run a cover of MJ's choosing, like. . .well, I have no idea what kind of covers they run--HRC sodomizing Gaea?

  18. Diane Reynolds (Paul.)   9 years ago

    Donated. When do I get my personal sit-down with Matt Welch?

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

      Come to LA next time. No sit down though, he's a stander.

      1. C. Anacreon   9 years ago

        For $1,000 you can be with Matt Welch while he has a sit-down.

  19. Zeb   9 years ago

    OK, fine.

    1. Zeb   9 years ago

      I even saw my name this time.

      1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

        How did it make you feel?

        1. Zeb   9 years ago

          Meh.

      2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

        My "name" has already been purged, that name being "CHIPOTLE SUCKS".

        1. Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer   9 years ago

          I think we need to perform an intervention for PM. He's going a little coo-coo mad with this Chipotle thing.

          1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   9 years ago

            No, people who eat there are coo-coo [sic] mad.

  20. Krombopulos Carl   9 years ago

    Do you take Dogecoin?

    1. SIV   9 years ago

      Just put it on your EBT.

  21. Chip Chipperson   9 years ago

    The only relationship you should have with Mother Jones is the planting of pipe bombs in their headquarters.

    1. ant1sthenes   9 years ago

      Cool! Message me at ant1sthenes@fbi.gov so we can discuss your plan further. I have some friends who could be a big help.

      1. kevrob   9 years ago

        Only if they are merely stage-prop strength, and shower anyone in range with bacon. 🙂

        Kevin R

        1. UnCivilServant   9 years ago

          You would waste bacon on them?

    2. Zeb   9 years ago

      Yes, all dissenters must be silenced! Kill, kill, kill!

  22. kevrob   9 years ago

    The Marvel Family illo would seem to be Jose Luis Garcia Lopez's work.

    SHAZAM!? and Shazam Family characters ? DC Comics, Inc.

    Kevin R

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