Reason Weekly Contest: Name an Educational Video Game

Last week's winners revealed.

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

The educational video game industry is expected to reach more than $2 billion soon. Come up with the name of an insanely boring educational video game that is trying to be "fun."

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to [e-mail]. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "GAME" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Nov. 30. Winners will appear Dec. 4, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: After an exhaustive scientific review, FDA ruled that genetically modified AquAdvantage salmon is as safe and nutritious as any plain old Atlantic salmon. We asked you to give the new GMO fish a catchy (so to speak) name.

THE WINNER: SalmonHella -- James Quigley

SECOND PLACE: Salmonsanto -- Ben Fairbanks, Boulder, CO

THIRD PLACE: Fishy -- Stephan Vogelmann, Germany, Bavaria

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Surfish-turfish --  Mike Lanza, Menlo Park, CA

Betterfish -- Bill Fullerton

Finding G-MO -- Michael Yurovich, Colorado Springs, CO

MC Hammerhead Shark (You can't touch it) --  Robert Ryan  Dallas City IL

Medium-Mouth Bass -- Robert Ryan  Dallas City, IL

SalmonDieu! -- Jim Noble, Boulder Creek CA

Salmon Rushdie and the Satanic Perches -- Norm, New Park PA

Blinky -- Ryan C., Chicago

Karloff in a Can -- Billy Roberts, Tulsa, OK

Joe's Pesci: You want a piece of me? -- Norm, New Park PA

Sam-I-Am-on:  You will not like it here or there.  You will not like it anywhere. -- Tim Whalen, Manassas, VA

Salman -- Roger the Shrubber - Pittsburgh, PA

And from the comments section:

Manchovy: A salmon is a salmon but a Manchovy™ is a meal.

Petrifish

Ce n'est pas un poisson

Comments

[Swiss Servator]

Mario (Shopping) Cart - consumer education game

Callout 4 - The post-Apocalypse, out loud spelling game

Hall of Duty - teaches school responsibilities

Way Low - subtraction game

[Jimbo]

What did I win?
- James "Jimbo" Quigley

[Rhywun]

Public outing? Minus city and state, interestingly.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

There've been a couple of those in the Skenazy contests.

[Jimbo]

San Rafael, Peoples Republic of CA

[Chipper Morning Wood]

You win a copy of Tim Allen's Adventures in Safety III: The Woodchipper

[Jimbo]

I mean, "What did I win, BITCHES?"

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights.

So... essentially, nothing?

[Jimbo]

Way to bring me down, Bo!

[Deckard]

Legacy of Kain: Soul Weaver (an introduction to handmade baskets)

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Helicopter Parents: The unstoppable force

[Swiss Servator]

Nice.

[AlmightyJB]

Spot the racist

[Rich]

Run, Spot, run!

[AlmightyJB]

The affirmitive consent game

[commodious spittoon]

Star Wars: The Force Restrained?

[Aresen]

"The Affirmative Consent Game"

You spend hours preparing to play, but the game stops just before someone scores?

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Safe Space Invaders

[AlmightyJB]

Pulled some from the comment section. Nice touch Lenore

[Notorious UGCC]

Their "email submissions only" rule seems to be showing some cracks in the facade.

[Ted S.]

It's possible people commented here and sent the same entry via email. I did that the one time I was an honorable mention.

[Deckard]

Farcry: Yodeling Simulator

[Swiss Servator]

*endorses*

[AlmightyJB]

Looting LA 2

[HazelMeade]

This one sounds like it would actually be fun.

[AlmightyJB]

Central Planning: The Multiplier Effect

[AlmightyJB]

You know who else did that?

[AlmightyJB]

Woodchipper: The Apocolypse

[AlmightyJB]

Peak Derp: Can you meet the Challenge?

[BakedPenguin]

Grand Theft Addition & Sinecraft to 'teach' math (although the first seems like it would teach more about the schools' funding processes.)

[sloopyinTEXAS]

If It weren't so un-PC, a Grand Theft Isis game could be fun. You get to infiltrate Raqqa and take out all the different pieces of shit in charge one by one. Bonus points for cutting their heads off.

[Swiss Servator]

"Sinecraft" - excellent.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Grand Theft Lemonade Stand

[HazelMeade]

The game that teaches you how to embezzle money from a lemonade stand?

[HazelMeade]

The game that teaches you how to embezzle money from a lemonade stand?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

The Road (Back) To Serfdom: How You Can Do Your Part To End Climate Change.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

^^This would be like a reverse Civilization game where you take an advanced society and ruin them.

[AlmightyJB]

That's called reality

[Swiss Servator]

"Uncivilization - the game of devolution"

[Suthenboy]

Sloopy wins.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Fuck You, Pay Me: Income Tax Simulator

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

^^^ Sloopy wins II

[Swiss Servator]

+1 IRS Special Edition

[Fist of Etiquette]

Grand Theft Autocrat

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You buy the game and there's nothing in the box.

[Sevo]

Wrong. There's a letter regarding an audit; bring your records for the last three years.

[Slammer]

"Good Shoot"- Police Academy Simulator

DLC includes Dog Shootings, Union Reps, Jury Intimidation, places to go on Paid Vacations, hirings at new departments, overtime High School beatings, Stop n Frisk, vehicle searches

[CJR]

You know, a retro 8-bit Police Quest/Bad Lieutenant mashup would be kind of awesome.

[Swiss Servator]

I think you have an entire series there - well done.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Mission Objective: Cut off the running suspect in front, so it looks like he was running at you, before firing.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

"Stop wasting your childhood and play something fun"

[Swiss Servator]

"Stim City" - Krugmanesque game of public works

[commodious spittoon]

Boom.

[commodious spittoon]

It's like playing Sim City with natural disasters turned on, except the only way to win is turning each occurrence into a politically lucrative windfall for the public sector and its various cronies. Bonuses for aggravating minor problems into major national catastrophes. Legislating a comprehensive climate change package and permanently hobbling your nation's economy would be one of the end-game victory conditions.

[Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair]

Where in Government is Common Sense? or, Training for your Future Sinecure.

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

Grievance Quest -- Explore a modern-day region to locate and report microaggressions to the proper authorities.

[commodious spittoon]

There's probably a great 8-bit style parody in that idea.

[AlmightyJB]

Run back to safe space between adventures.

[kinnath]

Core War II

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Legend of Algebra: Trig Force Heroes

The Grammar Scrolls VI: Gerunds and Infinitives

World of Common Corecraft

[Swiss Servator]

"World of Common Corecraft"

+1

[Fist of Etiquette]

Finally.

[AlmightyJB]

Statue of Liberty original design based on Muslim woman. Take that you anti-Syrian refugee racists

http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-.....lim-woman#

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Egyptian monuments were built thousands of years ago. Way before Mohammed started his reign of terror across the region.

The Smithsonian fails once again to make a political point.

[PapayaSF]

There has been a lot of barrel-scraping to try convince us Islam is wonderful, hasn't there?

[Rhywun]

Because nothing screams "freedom" like a woman whose society/culture/religion/whatever requires her to hide her face from men who can't keep it in their pants.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"The Statue of Liberty was originally designed to be a Muslim woman, the Smithsonian Institution's magazine says."

Lemme run that through the translator:

"The Statue of Liberty is not a Muslim woman"

[Suthenboy]

I am a little skeptical. Ok, more than a little.

Libertas was the Roman god of Liberty long before the emergence of Islam.

Why would anyone choose a muslim woman to personify Liberty? That is ridiculous.

Don't the Obumble fellators ever get tired of making fools of themselves?

[Notorious UGCC]

"An article on the government-administered museum's blog, Smart News, claims one of the designers of Lady Liberty drew inspiration from monuments in Egypt and originally intended to construct a veiled female peasant on the Suez Canal."

So one of the designers had an idea which they didn't use on the final version of the statue.

And they need to coordinate their story with the National Park Service, which says: "The Statue of Liberty's face is said to be modeled after the sculptor's mother." Of course, maybe his mother was a Muslim woman. Or maybe the federal government is wrong.

[AlmightyJB]

Diseased orange trees methaphor for Venezuelan socialist policies. And they didn't even blame global warming

http://mobile.reuters.com/arti.....ce=twitter

[Suthenboy]

I actually had some fuckin' idiot argue that things aren't so bad in Venezuela and that we need more policies like theirs. I was dumbfounded. They also argued that we need price controls here.

I am surprised she can figure out how to breath.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, that's just sad

[Cytotoxic]

Tell that moron to move there and while he/she is at it they can explain how wrong-headed all the people headed in the opposite direction are.

[Akira]

Someone told me that Venezuela would be highly prosperous if oil prices hadn't fallen.

[Aresen]

It takes a special talent to go broke while raking in a half-trillion dollars.

[Atanarjuat]

Methaphor? Is that you, John?

[AlmightyJB]

Monopoly: Massage Parlor edition.

[Jerry on the rocks]

Jones in the Last Lane.
Sam & Max Hit the Roadblock.
Xenon II: Vegablast.
Sid Meier's Amtrack Tycoon.

[F. Iron-Ass Stupidity, Jr.]

Depression Quest 2: The Derpening

[PapayaSF]

+1

[Rich]

"No-PAC Man: Feel the Bern"

[commodious spittoon]

Har. That's pretty good.

[Jerry on the rocks]

Lethargy Suit Larry in the Land of the Limousine Liberals.

[Aloysious]

Fall-in 4: Learn to do what you are told.

Or else.

[Aloysious]

Asset Forfieture: Watch the police take your shit while you learn to respect their authority.

Or you will suffer a beatdown.

[lap83]

Wii positive body image

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Is this you?

[Suthenboy]

Amazing how such a simple thing can be so mesmerizing. I could watch that all day.

[AlmightyJB]

Active shooter situation Colorado. Two cops down.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015.....arenthood/

[Suthenboy]

Looks like the proggies are finally getting their wish. It looks like some white dude / fruit loop with a bible and a gun.

We will see how it turns out.

[Hamster of Doom]

Cops on the scanner just said civilian casualties removed from a bank.

PP may be a red herring.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, my understanding was that when the call first went out that the PP place was the address given but that could have been where the call came from or someone may have just said they heard shoots "near" there when they called it in? I don't think there was any definitive connection made.

[Hamster of Doom]

Multiple shots fired at King Soopers just a minute ago.

[thrakkorzog]

From what I'm seeing on the news it looks like a shopping center with a PP in it. I'm guessing the local cops were using the PP as a frame of reference because they're probably used to dealing with disturbances there.

[Hamster of Doom]

Piecing this together is not easy. It sounds, though, as if there is one shooter barricaded in the Planned Parenthood. Civilian casualties have been removed from the Chase Bank (which may be a shooting location or a staging area for the police). Three police have been shot, one still unreachable. And several hostages in Planned Parenthood, some with injuries. The research labs may have been trashed.

I conclude multiple gunmen, but I may be wrong, its still unfolding.

[dan'o en barrel]

I can feel the progs praying that its an attack on the Planned Parenthood. Their "the real terrorists are wingnuts" narrative needs it like a Saharan wanderer needs a drink of water.

[dan'o en barrel]

woops, left my comment unposted for an hour. guess I should have refreshed before clicking submit

[Mongo]

Curt Schilling's World of Welfare.

[Seguin, the Mighty Monoclops]

Social Justice Warriors, a mousou style fighter that takes teaches people how to argue using only logical fallacies.

Far Cry 6: Check Your Privilege - Adventurer goes to foreign country to apologize for being white. Shows children how evil it is that they were born pale.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Social Justice Warriors, a mousou style fighter that takes teaches people how to argue using only logical fallacies.

THIS IS ALREADY A GAME

[Swiss Servator]

Clicks link....*head explodes*

[CZmacure]

OT : JD the Elder posted this very interesting read as a scanned PDF in a previous thread, I cleaned it up and posted on pastebin as plaintext. I think many in the audience would appreciate its story of what actually happens when utopians try to achieve equality of outcome.

"Why We Left 'The Farm'" - Whole Earth Review, Winter 1985

http://pastebin.com/F0WGGewg

[commodious spittoon]

Thanks to the both of you. It's interesting, although

We were the kind of people who came out of the drug experience of the Sixties, who acknowledged vibrations and other realms of existence besides the material plane.

maybe pretty easy to see where they went wrong.

[GILMORE?]

You could replace that sentence with anything that inspires leftist Utopianism

drugs were just the excuse of the 60s. every generation has a different one. fuck, i wish all the SJWs dropped acid. it would probably cure half their problems.

[Rhywun]

Even better if they "dropped out" so we wouldn't have to hear from them any more.

[dan'o en barrel]

Thanks for posting. Who around here doesn't enjoy reading about communal living being crushed by the weight of reality? I guess there are still several successful kibbutz operating in Israel, but everyone is there by choice and those who don't contribute get the boot.

[GILMORE?]

I'm reading it a second time and this jumped out which i'd skimmed by before.

re: "Deciding who is fit to 'join' their utopian society"... they discover that some people just Aint No Good =

""The weird people whom nobody would accept in their houses would stay at the gate and that was as far in as they could get. And so when you did gate you'd have a houseful of the weirdest people who had come to the Farm that week or month, people who couldn't find places, couldn't find any friends or anybody that even liked them. And you have to integrate all those people and deal with that while at the same time you were the official public relations person for any media, notables, or dignitaries.

Matthew: Some of the people who came and stayed were the blissed-out flower children schizophrenics who just didn't want to work but were going to get fed anyway....

Matthew: We'd always have at least one psychotic living in our house. I mean one full-blown, total, blissed out freak who would've been in a mental institution if he hadn't been on the Farm. If you were a "together couple" then you were responsible for all the untogether couples. ...""

Basically - the same foreseeable problems with all 'community-living' ideals = Freeloaders, and Bad Actors, draining all the resources.

If no one has read "Walden 2", its also worth digesting for a more 'intellectual' version of a similar idea.

[Akira]

Great read. "The Farm" is an example of what you get when you combine open borders and a welfare state.

[Mr Lizard]

World of WarCrack

Call of Crack

Grand Crack Auto

StarCrack

FallCrack

Mass EffectCrack

Aaaaaaand....Halo

[MSimon]

Star Fish - everybody wins

Go Go Fish - the disco version

The semi Middle East Version: Fish Star - It is almost like phonics

Fish Phone - you'll be Dead without it

Clam Bake - you'll make her scream

Ring Her Taco - you don't even need a bell

=====================

I'll be here all week (and part of next week as well)

[SusanM]

Cheese Aging Simulator

[MSimon]

I want the slow motion version.

[Swiss Servator]

I want Whisky Aging Simulator - now featuring 30 year add-on!

[Trigger Warning]

OT: Who will you blame once Obama's gone?

I don't know. Good question. Bush? Oh, wait. We've been blaming him since 2008. Darth Plagueis Cheney? Halliburton? Systematic racism and oppression perpetrated by people you can't exploit for votes the patriarchy? Sure. Pick one. As long as we're blaming; that's the important thing, you blamers. Get your blame on.

[AlmightyJB]

The media?

[Trigger Warning]

I am feeling charitable this weekend. I am going to blame canned/jarred/otherwise not from scratch guacamole.

[AlmightyJB]

Not from scratch guacamole is a sin against mankind.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Jooz?

[__Warren__]

I'm still blaming Cooledge so I've got some catching up to do.

[Suthenboy]

He is so right. Of course I hate Obumbles because he is black. That is the reason.

[Suthenboy]

Of course if I just say the name Thomas Sowell to this guy he will start foaming at the mouth.

I hate these mendacious fuckers.

[AlmightyJB]

Well Thomas Sowell isn't really black cause he doesn't think like a white liberal.

[Crusty Juggler]

Obamacare's Labyrinth.

Learn how to navigate the ins and outs of Obamacare by maneuvering through a complex maze full of unexpected surprises. It's fun for the whole family!

[Aresen]

The only way out is to be kicked out, but then you have to pay a penaltax.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

too easy. Just choose the "get government job" at the first opportunity and you win by getting exempted.

[Trigger Warning]

The actual Game of the Year. Played by the actual best LP'er on the tubes.

Names for Games:
Duke Nukem: Trigger Warning
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue Job
Jesus and Osiris Do Hollywood
Bernie Goes to the Free Clinic
Praise God!zilla

[Crusty Juggler]

From the makers of "Glock-k47: The Media's Guide to Guns" comes the fun, new game "Puppy or Pitbull," law enforcement's guide to how a police officer determines a dog's potential danger.

[Trigger Warning]

"If it walks like a dog, and it sounds like a dog, go ahead and shoot it."

[__Warren__]

Can someone put a better post up please? These suck balls so hard.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Yeah, these are fucking terrible.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No PM Links either? This is outrageous.

[__Warren__]

Hello?

[Broswater]

I know right !? We Canadians are kinda shy about asking for a day off between summer and Christmas, so we call it on a Monday, you guys just go all in and ask for a Thursday, making everyone else belief you'll work that Friday.Ya... nope.

[Aresen]

If they 'culturally appropriated' Boxing Day, we can 'culturally appropriate' Black Friday.

[JeremyR]

Christmas has come early this year for lefties, a shooting a at a planned parenthood. Millions of them are orgasming as we speak as they just think of how they are going to use it to attack their enemies with for the rest of the year/decade

[GILMORE?]

"a shooting a at a planned parenthood"

Hopefully no children were harmed.

[GILMORE?]

and yes, i've made that joke before.

[bunslicer]

Unlikely. But it's possible some expensive biological material may have been ruined.

[cavalier973]

"Whole harvests were lost"

[Crusty Juggler]

I have decided to place the blame on those I have previously disagreed with.

[__Warren__]

No you haven't.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I blame you.

[MSimon]

Here is a link: http://www.coloradoan.com/stor...../76456132/

[MSimon]

"At least three officers were injured but it was not known if anyone else was wounded in the attack, authorities said."

[MSimon]

http://6abc.com/news/police-4-.....k/1101783/

Responding officers exchanged gunfire with the shooter, Buckley said, adding that it was not known if the shooting had any connection to Planned Parenthood.

Denise Speller, manager of a nearby hair salon, said she heard as many as 20 gunshots in the span of less than five minutes.

She told The Gazette newspaper that she saw a police cruiser and two officers near a Chase Bank branch, not far from the Planned Parenthood facility.

One of the officers appeared to fall to the ground and the other office knelt down to help and then tried to get the officer to safety behind the car, she said. Another officer told Speller to seek shelter inside the building.

"We're still pretty freaked out," Speller said by phone. "We can't stop shaking. For now we're stuck back here not knowing."

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Time to register anti-abortion activists and close down some of them churches. Amirite?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

http://m.gazette.com/live-cove.....le/1564419

This link has updates.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Looks,like they took the shooter into custody. That's good.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Fucking teabagger

[bunslicer]

According to the article he had an "AK-47 style rifle". Which could mean anything from a 10/22 to a double-barrel skeet gun to an anti-materiel rifle in journalist-speak.

[bunslicer]

11 injuries, 5 of them cops. Thankfully, it looks like no fatalities, at least not yet.

[Aresen]

"Asset Forefeiture"

- you play a cop and try to grab as much 'civilian' property as you can.

- bonus points if you can flip it to your personal name at little or no cost.

[__Warren__]

Disturbed Sound of Silence

[Aloysious]

Sweet.

[__Warren__]

This is an actual movie.

[Cytotoxic]

I have a question that only someone with basically no knowledge of how guns work would ask: could you replace the striker mechanism with a laser/something electronic?

[__Warren__]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Storm

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M61_Vulcan

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Yes, and it's been tried before, but electronic ignition systems generally do poorly on the market due to reliability concerns.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Yes, if you want it to fail.

[GILMORE?]

Or if you want your ammunition to explode in your hands because you made the mistake of petting your cat first.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That's what people get for owning cats.

[GILMORE?]

There is some "tales of the gun" documentary on youtube that talks about all the various failed alternative ideas for firearms development (electric firing mechanisms, gyrojet, caseless ammo, etc). If i can find it i will link.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

"Chicago Ward Boss"

Navigate the world of Democrat politics of the Windy City. Stay alive as you build your political kingdom and battle other ward bosses to get sweet insider contracts for family and friends and appoint lackeys to oversight positions. The goal is to become the mayor.*

*To be released as soon as copyright infringement lawsuit by makers of "Mafia Wars" is concluded.

[Cytotoxic]

Hola: Spanish-speaking aliens show up on your ring world. You have to learn how to speak Spanish so we can work together to defeat the ring-world nativist factions.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Mavis Beacon Teaches.

[Banjos]

Another Isolated Incident: Designed just like the original Duck Hunt game, but instead of hunting ducks you're a police officer in a swat raid trying to shoot the family dog.

[JeremyR]

And now Fox News is going crazy about how police need military weaponry for situations like this.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

"I'm Sorry: The Game". Go through college for five years as an upper-class, white, hetero male with a full head of hair.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Better name: "Sorry II: The College Years".

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Episode III: Revenge of the Shitlords

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I played that game, and I won.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

They're holding fetuses hostage????

[Kevin47]

Safe Space 4: More Muscle

[Wasteland Wanderer]

"Crony Space Program", where you spend your time lobbying Congress to toss government cheese your way instead of building rockets.

[Kevin47]

Playground Enforcer
Grand Theft Vocab!
Respect Your Elder Scrolls
Sonic the Capable Transgender

[Kevin47]

Woodrow Wilson's Combat Basketball

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Refereed by Colonel House?

[Kevin47]

Madden 2015: Concussion Analysis

[straffinrun]

LGBTQ and Bert

[sloopyinTEXAS]

LGBTQ-Bert: hop from business to business and get them shut down if they don't want to serve you. Avoid libertarians disguised as snakes, as their consistency on property rights will kill you.

[Notorious UGCC]

If You're a White Male non-Disabled Heterosexual, Just Hit Yourself Repeatedly With the Console.

[Notorious UGCC]

In the head.

[Notorious UGCC]

With the money you save, you can donate to the Animal Liberation Front.

[__Warren__]

I've never seen an episode of ALF.

[GILMORE?]

OT =

re: the Colorado planned parenthood shootout, comes this quote from police providing insight into law-enforcement professionalism and discriminate use of force

"Throughout the late afternoon, the encounter could be heard on the police scanner, with the authorities describing how they had driven a BearCat armored vehicle into the building, smashing through two sets of doors into the lobby and rescuing some of those inside.

"We're exchanging gunfire," one officer said on the radio, "We are trying to keep him pinned down.""

"Put gunfire through the walls," came a reply. "Whatever, we got to stop this guy."

combine that kind of "just shoot through walls" lack of fire-disipline with the 'bog-standard' advice police hand out to any bystanders...?

"The police said on Twitter that people inside a nearby shopping center and a nearby grocery were told to shelter in place. The police closed Centennial Boulevard in both directions."

Right! Lock everyone down in place, then shoot through windows and walls without any concern about who might be behind those barriers.

I'm assuming the attitude re: Force Escalation had nothing to do with concerns about whether said 'gunman' was holding hostages or was an imminent threat to any civilians.... but rather because he'd already wounded at least once officer. Basically - wounded cop? instant free-fire zone.

[bunslicer]

"Pop quiz, hot shot: Terrorist holding a police hostage. Got enough dynamite strapped to his chest to blow a building in half. Now, what do you do?"

[Suthenboy]

Shoot the cop and then taunt him into blowing himself up?

[Suthenboy]

Meh. These guys are paragons of prudence compared to the Waco cops.

[bunslicer]

In case you were wondering what the BLM response would be....

deray mckesson ?@deray 21m21 minutes ago
The #PlannedParenthood shooter shot 5 police officers and a choice was made to take him into custody alive.

They choose to kill us.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

#BlackFridayMatters

[Rhywun]

#MeMeMe

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I wish. No good deals today. I should have gone to Chicago to smash windows.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Just wait. There's enough idiot cops in SoCal that you'll get a chance to find deals in the wake of a riot by Christmas.

[AlmightyJB]

"They choose to kill us"

Planned Parenthood?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Lenco Bearcats aren't tanks. They don't even have run flats.

Prediction: Obama is taking away toys given away to the local police through the DOD. They will point to this as an example of why he's wrong.

[bunslicer]

You prefer those toys to be in the hands of federal LEAs?

Obama doesn't hate law enforcement. He just hates law enforcement that he doesn't control.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

No, Tulpa. I absolutely did not say that. The federal government has it in the budget, despite the deficits and debt.

Local Sheriff's Departments have no such luxury.

[Notorious UGCC]

Stolen Lincoln bust found near [Gettysburg] museum

[straffinrun]

SQWERTY: How to break your internet porn addiction

[GILMORE?]

"Name an Educational Video Game"

This has already been done = Slave-Ship Tetris

[lap83]

Progger - cross a government built road while trying to avoid uber drivers, Koch semi trucks, and road demolishing libertarians

[__Warren__]

Yes.

[Swiss Servator]

http://nypost.com/2015/11/27/p.....itzerland/

*glares at everyone, chin up*

[GILMORE?]

(paws foot on ground twice)

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

two stomps means yes

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Affirmative consent.

[commodious spittoon]

But not enthusiastic, rapist.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

"Neigh means neigh" not good enough anymore?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"This rate is relatively elevated compared with other types of animals,"

I, uh... I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

[AlmightyJB]

The sheep have takin a page out of chick filets playbook and are holding up fuck more horses signs.

[AlmightyJB]

That should have been the Friday Funny

[Rhywun]

OMG, the picture... That's my Post!

[Crusty Juggler]

I am on record as being against any sexual activity that requires step ladder.

[Quincy.]

You have no imagination.

[Crusty Juggler]

The word is required.

[Atanarjuat]

Not a fan of All About Anna?

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Not a Canadian, then?:

http://imgur.com/gallery/uf3YE

[__Warren__]

Well, at least they're not ratfuckers.

[__Warren__]

How do you fuck a horse without getting kicked to death? Where's Bo, I'm sure he knows.

[Crusty Juggler]

Gently?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Somebody mentioned a stepladder?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

They need to rein in this behavior.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Gallop Poll: is fucking horses acceptable, yea or neeeeeeeigh?

[AlmightyJB]

That is so disgusting.

[MSimon]

Dontcha just love it?

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I know what Walter Block would say. Remember, if you homestead a donut, you have not homesteaded the space inside the donut.

From a common law contract perspective, animals don't satisfy the capacity requirement for a valid contract. They can't give consent, so you can't fuck them. Wait, what? Is that an argument for affirmative consent? No, it's not. The affirmative consent debate is not really about affirmative consent, but about implicit vs. explicit consent. Implicit consent is enough. An unconscious person can't give implicit consent, therefore it's rape. No need for new standards.

[Rhywun]

"What're you doing back there, Wilbur?" ( ?? ? ?? )

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Not a single Sarah Jessica Parker joke. You people sicken me.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

It's early. Besides, I was deep in thought coming up with a Tori Spelling joke.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

She's plan B. Lemme think about that.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Oh, and.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

I think I found a pic of Switzy and Sarah:

http://www.memecenter.com/fun/.....ica-parker

[GILMORE?]

This face was the product of something unspeakable.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

She already hates herself, so I'm going to leave her alone.

[AlmightyJB]

Why the long face?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

2.5 stars.

[Quincy.]

Sid Meier's Cooking Vegan with Lady Deirdre Skye.

[Palin's Buttplug]

"Aborto-Freak Gundown"

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Why does your family hate you?

[Sevo]

Wrong question.
Right question: Does anyone not hate you? Including your dog.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

He might do some blow with his low level coworkers, who pretend to like him.

But this particular pathology stems from the family. Specifically daddy issues.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Those aborto-freaks and their hatred of grocery stores and Chase Bank!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It makes no sense. Chase is for low net worth individuals. How much cash could they possibly have on hand?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Who knows. Probably more than PP though. Unless they just made delivery of a bunch of fetuses.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Chase?

Are you trying to divert attention from the motive of the Aborto-Freak conservative terrorist?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You just keep being you. The entertainment value is endless.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Are you trying to manufacture his motive?

[Palin's Buttplug]

We know of the long history of murderous conservative whackjobs who target Planned Parenthood/abortion providers.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

We do?

[Palin's Buttplug]

I knew you were an Eric Rudolph fan.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Why don't you regale us with tales of this "long history"? IIRC, you had Tiller, the nut all who bombed two clinics (as well as the Atlanta Olympics), an arson in Washington and...and...well, I can't think of any others.

Shit, the death toll of abortion clinic attacks is lower than Obama's mentor Bill Ayers's alone.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Paul Hill.

There are others.

[Palin's Buttplug]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Jennings_Hill

[Palin's Buttplug]

John C. Salvi III (March 2, 1972 ? November 29, 1996) was an abortion opponent who carried out fatal shootings at two Planned Parenthood reproductive health clinics in Brookline, Massachusetts, on December 30, 1994, killing two and wounding five. These were the subject of intense media coverage. He was convicted, and later died in 1996 of an apparent suicide.

Wikipedia

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

OH MY GOD THAT'S SUCH A LONG HISTORY

[Sevo]

One in 1776 and one in 2015; how much longer do you want?

[MSimon]

Further reports indicate the guy was INSIDE Planned Parenthood.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Yeah, eventually. The way the timeline reads, he started shooting blocks away and drove there.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Ok, so the PP boss for the Rocky Mountain Area said this:

"We don't yet know the full circumstances and motives behind this criminal action, and we don't yet know if Planned Parenthood was in fact the target of this attack," Vicki Cowart, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains, said in a written statement. "We share the concerns of many Americans that extremists are creating a poisonous environment that feeds domestic terrorism in this country. We will never back away from providing care in a safe, supportive environment that millions of people rely on and trust."

Cowart told CNN she believes all staff and patients from the clinic are accounted for.

So the guy shot 11 people, none of which worked there or were patients there, and it's "domestic terrorism against PP"? This guy needed to look up what terrorism is before he goes on his next rampage. Because if PP was his target, he's doing it wrong.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Look, I have no legal restrictions so I can fucking assume what I want.

Suicide bomber/terrorist in France? Muslim whackjob.

Planned Parenthood shooter in the USA? Christian Aborto-Freak.

Don't like it? Sue me.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Why would I sue you? I have no use for a decrepit single-wide without indoor plumbing and a 75 Pinto with bad brakes.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What about the Ecuadorian coke that's cut by 88%?

[SIV]

With hog wormer?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Would make sense, even though I don't have a medscape account.

[Sevo]

"Don't like it? Sue me."

More profitable making fun of you, turd. How much can you get from the janitor who 'works in finance' emptying the trash cans?

[MSimon]

sloopyinTEXAS -- 11.27.15 @ 10:50PM

The PP Offices are described in some articles I have seen as a "fortress". I guess they had a good reason to fortify.

What do I think? Another attack by the Religion of Peace. Which one is that? Take your pick.

[MSimon]

Seen on the 'net:

A court in Istanbul on Thursday charged two journalists from the opposition Cumhuriyet daily

Daily? How about every hour (on a good day).

[PapayaSF]

Whoa:

Glamorous Russian MP is blown up while having sex with her husband in the back of their car 'after he detonated explosives in a fit of jealousy'

[Atanarjuat]

Predictions: the usual suspects dust off gun control editorials they had saved for this exact moment, sun rises in east.

[HazelMeade]

Sustainable Campus 2

This sequel to the simulation game involving recycling the campus trash and operating an organic fair trade dining hall involves new social justice features. Punish microaggressions and issue trigger warnings to create a healthy psychological environment for all the students. You win the game when your space is 100% safe. Free Affirmative Consent demo included.

[HazelMeade]

The ACA Tutorial: Learn how to enroll in health insurance in a step by step set of progressive levels.

The IRS Tax Simulator: Expansion pack scenarios include 'foreign income tax liability' and 'health insurance penalty tax calculation'.

[Not an Economist]

No idea if this is true, but it would be hilarious if it was,

[Not an Economist]

Let me fix my mistake, this.

[HazelMeade]

Call of Duty: Social Justice Edition.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Colorado Springs shooter in custody

A man identified as the suspect who killed three people at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs Friday was being held on no bond as he awaited his first court appearance scheduled for Monday.

The Colorado Springs Police Department identified the shooting suspect as 57-year-old Robert Dear. Jail records didn't list charges but showed him being held on two administrative holds.

After entering the Planned Parenthood clinic, Dear engaged in a standoff with police that lasted several hours, authorities said. The standoff came to an end when police officers entered the building and began shouting at the suspect, according to Colorado Springs Lt. Catherine Buckley. It was then that officers got "him to surrender and he was taken into custody," Buckley said.

The slain police officer was identified as Garrett Swasey. The other two victims haven't been identified.

Police haven't released a motive for the shooting or said whether the Planned Parenthood clinic was the intended target.

I've yet to see confirmation he killed anyone inside the PP clinic, which seems odd. Either the staff and patients managed to escape out the back when he came in or he didn't intend to massacre everyone inside.

[Not an Economist]

I don't think "her" motives are going to be understandable by normal folks.

[commodious spittoon]

Welp, too weird for me.

[MSimon]

Bob Owens
?@bob_owens

#ColoradoSprings shooter's only online documentation suggests HE identifies as a female.

Weird enough for you yet?

[MSimon]

He was upset that he couldn't get an abortion?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I'm extremely skeptical that's the same guy but if it is that's some incredible pathology given the mugshot.

[Crusty Juggler]

Couldn't that just be a typo, or poor data entry?

[MSimon]

Democrats move to outlaw trannys right to arms. Because they are so disturbed at the way America treats them.

[AlmightyJB]

Thats not their playbook. It outlaw guns for everyone so certain people supposedly won't get them.

[commodious spittoon]

Coming soon, the Planned Parenthood Protection Act: a redundant ban on shootings in or around women's clinics, plus outlawing guns with those things that go up.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Carl on Duty: Black Traffic Stops

[MSimon]

Good update on the Colorado shooting:

http://www.theguardian.com/us-.....ood-attack

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

On Friday, Planned Parenthood said all of its staff at the clinic ? which is equipped with "safe rooms" and an extensive security system ? were safe and that it did not know the circumstances or motives behind the attack.

That would explain why he didn't actually kill anyone inside the clinic, which was what I was wondering about earlier. It is still possible, though, that he might have intended to turn this into a hostage standoff but lost control of the situation.

[Atanarjuat]

Not gonna lie. He has a fierce mugshot.

[AlmightyJB]

Kenny Rodgers!

[Crusty Juggler]

Obama's Intel Scandal

this new primary-source intelligence undercut happy-talk from the White House about progress in defeating jihadist terror. Al Qaeda wasn't dying; it was growing. The Afghan Taliban wasn't moderating; its leaders were as close to al Qaeda as ever. The same Iranian regime promising to abide by the terms of a deal to limit its nuclear program had provided safe haven for al Qaeda leaders and their families and had facilitated al Qaeda attacks on the interests of the United States and its allies

[Atanarjuat]

I'm guessing that like the IRS scandal, it can't be linked to the very top and has a high-profile fall guy/girl.

[MSimon]

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us.....gs-n470431

Police rammed building to help people escape.

******************

Best update so far.

[Crusty Juggler]

Good link. However, it includes tacky nugget:

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said in a tweet that "Today and every day, we #StandWithPP," referring to Planned Parenthood.

[AlmightyJB]

Barf. I'm pretty sure his reason for doing this is the same as it always is in these situations. He's Batshit crazy.

[Not an Economist]

He's Batshit crazy.

So he is a white conservative misogynistic libertarian teathuglican male?

[Rhywun]

Je suis PP.

[MSimon]

Investigators were also trying to identify an item left in what is believed to be the suspect's car, a law enforcement source said. The device appeared to be a propane tank with wires sticking out, the source said.

[The Hyperbole]

Maybe he invented a clock

[PapayaSF]

+1

[AlmightyJB]

Too bad he doesn't blow himself up trying to put that together.

[Crusty Juggler]

Black Friday brawl videos are how rich people shame the poor

The clickbait is worth clicking on just to see the photo of the author.

[AlmightyJB]

"It's hard to see the film and not think of the way TV news has covered Black Friday."

It's nice that every aspect of his life is ruined by his fucked up worldview. It's a movie. Try just enjoying it.

[Crusty Juggler]

He inspired this newbusters post. It's comforting that the Washington Post feels his thoughts are worth publishing.

[AlmightyJB]

It's amazing you can make a living just by being a moron. His photo didn't show up on my phone on your originally post so i had google imaged him. Yeah.

[AlmightyJB]

I mean he rails against abundance. But only in a country with great abundance could he make a living writing tripe.

[Crusty Juggler]

That is a very good way of putting it.

[Rhywun]

Comments are largely scornful of the idiot.

I like this one:

"Call me when people are fighting over food."

[Akira]

Black Friday brawl videos are how rich people shame the poor

No, it's how civilized people laugh at pushy barbarians who are too dumb to get their Christmas shopping done in September, or just look for "Black Friday" deals online (of which there are many).

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

PONG (original 1972 version) Your illustrated guide to American Bureaucracy.

[GamerFromJump]

Five Nights at Hillary's

[GamerFromJump]

Gargoyles's Quest, starring Hillary & Bernie.