weekly contests

Reason Weekly Contest: Offend Those College Students

Last week's winners revealed.

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Crying
Dreamstime

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

With all the furor on campuses, please come up with one non-racist, non-sexist sentence from a college president that will send 99 percent of the students into full-fledged protest mode.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "COLLEGE" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Nov. 16. Winners will appear Nov. 20, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: After a three-part series in The New York Times combed through the multi-paged "terms of agreement" in  credit card and smartphone contracts—finding shenanigans—we asked you for one surprising sentence lurking in the fine print.

THE WINNER:

Creditor reserves the right to demand immediate payment of outstanding debt in small, non-sequential bills passed in a plain bag. Additional instructions will be provided later. If you contact the police or fail to follow all instructions we will kill your family.—Richard Bradley, Fredericksburg, VA

SECOND PLACE:

User acknowledges that he has not read this agreement.—Jim Noble, Boulder Creek, CA

THIRD PLACE:

Failure to sign this contract in your own blood will result in forfeiture of first born child; signature in your own blood (properly notarized) will indemnify said first born and establish a perpetual indebtedness on the part of the cardholder to the Dark Lord.  Interest rate may vary from year to year.—Norm, New Park, PA

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Use of this card grants the issuer the right of Prima Nocta.—Mike Spinney, Boston, MA

Yeah, you saw that South Park episode.  You agree to let us try that!—Wesley Romberger

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