weekly contests

Reason Weekly Contest: Read the Fine Print

Last week's winners revealed.


Credit Card

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

A three-part series in The New York Times combed through the multi-paged "terms of agreement" in credit card and smartphone contracts. Please tell us one surprising sentence or clause lurking in the fine print.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "FINE PRINT" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Nov. 9. Winners will appear Nov. 13, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: With the World Health Organization declaring war on bacon, we asked you to come up with the name of some annoying bacon alternative. In addition to Bac-un, and Ba-con, you suggested:

THE WINNER: Six Degrees from Bacon—Dave Kocur, Harrisburg, PA

SECOND PLACE:  NeoCon: The new bacon, still packed with plenty of pork. Tim Whalen 





Broc-con—Christopher P. Brown, Idlewylde, MD


Facon? —Eric Woodrum

"I Can Damn Well Believe It's Not Bacon" 


LabSlabs!—Julia Suits, Austin, TX








You can take my bacon from me when you slide it from my warm, greasy hands.—Ska

Soylent Brown—Bobarian, Vine Grove, KY

Blame it on Canada Canadian style non-bacon—Bob Magee, Stamford, CT

NEXT: Legion of Armed, Upset Citizens Has a 'Surprise' Planned for Quentin Tarantino

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  1. Lenore can you provide a link to the NY Times fine print series?

    1. Yeah I was wondering what that was all about – maybe I missed some discussion here. It sounds dry as dust though.

      1. Reading the fine print in any contract from a major company is not recommended.

        Essentially, you agree they are not responsible for anything and can increase fees and add charges at any time. You are responsible for everything and must pay all costs, including arbitration costs even if you win a dispute with them. You waive all rights of recourse and any dispute has to be submitted to an ‘independent’ arbitrator selected by them.

        1. For years I never had a credit card because I actually kept reading the contracts and saying “fuck that”.

          I finally gave in when one paid me $200 just for signing up.

          1. Ah yea, market incentives.

  2. I did find this article, where somebody discovered that Capital One reserved the right to “contact you at your home and at your place of employment”


    From 2014, and then I guess Cap One took it out of the agreements.

    1. From the link:
      “…In 2009, Congress passed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility and Disclosure Act, which required credit card companies to provide more transparency with changes including fee increases and other terms.”

      Well, I guess that fixed things, right?

  3. “Every person you text or contact will be noted and the record will be provided to the NSA, your local police, prosecutors, the fish and game warden and your school district, along with a transcript of your communication.”

    (The surprise would be the admission that they do it.)

  4. Though you have a tangible item in your hand which you exchanged for currency of some sort, this product does not actually belong to you and can be reclaimed at any time without notice.

    1. She wants a surprising sentence.

  5. “May cause hair loss and jaundice. If erection lasts longer than 4 hours, contact your physician.”

    1. That’s from a deodorant label, isn’t it?

      1. A type of deodorant we clearly don’t need.

  6. “If you read this contract backwards, you will see a hidden message from Satan.”

  7. Use of this product may subject you to invasion by uniformed officials who will be granted the right to kill any small animals (including humans) on the premises. If you do not accept these terms, too bad.

  8. Make note of every third word in section 1. Next, make note of every fifth word in section 2. Finally, make note of every other word in section 3, subsection A, paragraph 4. Combine all of the noted words into a single string of characters. This character string is an anagram for the unlock code necessary for the proper use of this product. Good luck.

  9. “failure to pay all fees and charges due and owing will result in debt-bondage being imposed upon you, your family and relatives out to two degrees for unto ten (10) generations, per the heretofore agreed to application of the commercial law of Ramses II”

    1. “All your earnings are belong to us.”

  10. Section V; Sub Section 1: Because, fuck you, that’s why.

  11. A moose once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: “The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink”…

  12. You think this contract is about your credit card? FOOL! This is a SOCIAL CONTRACT. Your voluntary consent was never needed.

    Simply by the fact that you are breathing, you have agreed to surrender some (MOST) of your freedoms and will submit to the authority of THE STATE and/or the decisions of THE MAJORITY OF YOUR BONEHEADED, IGNORANT AND HILLBILLY NEIGHBORS.

    In exchange for your SURRENDER, we may (but probably won’t) agree to protect you and whatever crumbs of remaining rights we allow you to have. So don’t piss us off.

  13. Words Starting with “NA”

    There are Total 528 words Starting with Na (Prefix) found after searching through all the words in english.

    Example : Nationalistic, Nasopharynges, Nazifications, Naphthylamine


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