Reason Weekly Contest: Title the CIA Director's Emails
Last week's winners revealed.

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:
An anonymous teen hacker seems to have stolen files from CIA Director John Brennan's private email account. Tell us the surprising subject line on one of them.
How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "CIA" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Oct. 26. Winners will appear Friday, Oct. 30, right here at Reason.com.
In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!
And now for the results of last week's contest: With the "Sexy Pizza Rat" just one of the inspired costumes debuting for Halloween this year, we asked you to come up with another improbable, irresistible new costume.
THE WINNER:
Sexy Nanny… State (I'm envisioning a version of the French Maid with some BDSM accoutrements.) -- Mike Spinney, Boston, MA
SECOND PLACE:
Sexy Cop, who shoots your dog in a sexy manner. -- Colin Blake, Boston, MA
THIRD PLACE:
Sexy Cultural Appropriator: Wear things from as many different countries as you can while also baring as much skin as possible, and watch the heads explode. -- Mandy, Bloomington, IN
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Sexy Bernie Sanders—reallocating sexy from those perfect 10s to the rest of us 4s and 5s. -- Kerry R. , Arlington, VA
(Bernie) Sanders Claus—the same as Santa Claus, except not even the bad kids get coal. Also, for a group costume: Ron Paul, George, and Ringo -- Robert Ryan, Dallas City, IL
Sexy Cables: Why not drive your nerd wild? Watch him go insane over your sexy tangled cables! Ooooh you're a difficult lady! -- Katy Marino -Painesville, OH
Magic Bernie -- Christopher P. Brown, Idlewylde, MD
Zombie Hillary Emails—they just won't die! -- Nathan Norris, Springfield, Mo
The Sexy Debt Ceiling… the hem line goes up and up, until there's no point in wearing the costume at all! -- Ben Lecrone, Columbus, IN
Reason Comment Spambot. Not exactly sure how it would look, but the wearer wanders around interrupting ongoing conversations to blather about ridiculous work-from-home solutions. -- Steve Merryman, Greenacres, WA
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Question: Did we depose any monarchs in Nigeria recently and fail to secure all their assets?
"Use this one weird trick to avoid responsive disclosures to FOIA applicants."
*standing ovation*
Apple's "secret" program backdoor.
Remember everyone, it's secret!
User HillClit is still waiting for a response to your "sexytimes wanted" email.
*barf*
/channeling Barfman
Sexy Cables: Why not drive your nerd wild? Watch him go insane over your sexy tangled cables! Ooooh you're a difficult lady!
Zip ties are very useful for cable management, even in the bedroom.
OT: I wanted to give you props on one of your PM links comments.
KKGay, love it!
Had to go back and check that out. My evenings are often a blur. So do I take credit, or the tequila?
yes....yes
From: 3d5n0wd3n
Subject: Ha ha!
Message: Nice try, fuckface! You'll never catch me now!
nice
dammit, I forgot to send in my "sexy anchor baby"
Marco Rubio?
Think PP. It's a dead baby filled with lead shot and a rope.
Schedule A Free Murder Droning Today!
LOL @ the Constution
Subject: North American Man Boy Society Monthly Newsletter for October, 2015
Subject: North American Man Boy Love Association Society Monthly Newsletter for October, 2015
Sorry, was trying to do it from memory.
I mean....from my memory of the "South Park" episode, not my memory of the email in my inbox right now...
I mean.....shit.....
*hands towel and water bottle to Almanian*
C'mon champ, get back in there and fight!
mailerdaemon@state.gov - failure notice
Nice.
From: DDCIA
Re: The Mideast desk is on fire
...and the sprinklers have flooded the break room. This may be related to the microdrone that was spotted flying around the office earlier. The riffraff are blaming the russian desk, but I think it's more likely the antipodian desk being bored.
FW: Bill Gates will donate 3 cents to the Syrian rebels every time this email gets forwarded
+FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:
Subject: Your Bilderberg Group Annual Membership Dues
Subject: You may want to visit the cliinc
/Eddie Murphy
Cocaine and herbal viagra supplements -- Safe and effective!
FROM: webmaster@google.com
SUBJ.: RE: how do email work
FROM: webmaster@google.com
SUBJ.: RE: can u have viris from comptuer
FROM: search_results@altavista.com
SUBJ.: RE: how to google quesitons
Nice.
FW: YOU WILL DIE IF YOU STOP READING
No, seriously, the NSA is watching you read this right now. Drones are circling your house at this moment.
From: Diane Reynolds
Subject: It's yours.
LOL
Way to tie multiple threads together.
DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS!
FROM: eleanor brennan [grannybrennan@aol.com]
SUBJ.: You're out of the will
From: CIA Director
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Regime Change
This is a good one.
CLASSIFIED TS SCI (Too Secret for Secretary Clinton's Inclusion)
There's a reason Chinese and Russian intel officials refer to Clinton as the "accidental honeypot," and it's got nothing to do with her seductive persona.
*Ron Paul, George, and Ringo*
Epic win
To: HRC@ClintFound.org
Re: Cupholder snafu
That free drink coaster AOL sent me in the cupholder on my computer is looking pretty nasty lately - can I just wipe it with like a cloth or something or will that delete all my E-mails?
I've made $64,000 so far this year w0rking 0nline and I'm a full time student. I'm using an 0nline business opportunity I heard about and I've made such great m0ney. It's really user friendly and I'm just so happy that I found out about it. Here's what I've been doing?
.......... http://www.homejobs90.com