ICYMI: The 3 Best and Worst Moments of the First Democratic Debate

Drugs, Emails, Snowden, and Free Stuff.


With Donald Trump and Ben Carson dominating the GOP race with talk of giant walls and end of days, the chances of a libertarian insurgency are looking slimmer by the hour. But is there hope for liberty lovers among the Democrats?  

Watch Reason TV's video above, The 3 Best and Worst Moments of The First Democratic Debate, to find out.

Sure, they're known as big spenders with an affinity for one-size-fits-all regulation and a borderline creepy reverence for the power of the federal government, but they say they're hands off on social issues and sometimes even call themselves civil libertarians. That has the word "libertarian" in it, right?

We watched the first Democratic Presidential debate with wide eyes and open minds and picked out the best and the worst moments of the night. These are the 3 Best and 3 Worst Moments of the first Democratic Presidential Debate.

Third Best Moment: Cannabis Legalization

Anderson Cooper: "Some of the candidates have tried marijuana, as have pretty much probably everybody in this room."

Just as quickly as public opinion on pot has shifted, these politicians have suddenly mellowed to the idea. Some of them have even admitted to inhaling. And Bernie Sanders thinks we're ruining too many young people's lives just for feeling the burn.

But one candidate seemed a bit confused. Hillary doesn't like the mass incarceration aspect, but she also won't advocate for an end to federal prohibition. Also, we need more research on cannabis—but we also need more evidence before we ditch the federal regulations that all but ban research on cannabis, which even ardent drug warriors are beginning to oppose.

Third Worst Moment: "Common Sense" Gun Control

Bernie Sanders: "The views on gun control in rural states are different than in urban states, whether we like it or not."

On the flip side was the Dems' almost uniformly uninformed take on violent crime and gun control. Bernie Sanders tip-toed his way around his un-Democratic past, pointing to his support for a federal assault weapons ban (probably because it worked so well last time). Hillary thinks it's fine to make responsible dealers liable for any crimes customers may commit with guns they sold legally. And Martin O'Malley touted the fantastic record of his gun safety legislation in Maryland in solving the problem of gun violence. Why, just take a look at Baltimore!

Only one candidate, Jim Webb, recognized that DC politicians aren't alone in their desire or their right to bear arms for self-protection. Echoing a Rand Paul argument, he pointed out the uncomfortable fact that many gun warriors inside the Beltway bubble employ armed guards for their own families' protection.

Second Best Moment: Foreign Interventionism

Bernie Sanders: "You're talking about a quagmire in a quagmire."

Most of the candidates didn't hold back from criticizing the interventionist foreign policy that defined the Bush administration and continued through the Obama years. Sanders criticized the "quagmire in a quagmire" in Syria and both Sanders and Martin O'Malley got after Hillary for wanting a no-fly zone there, which could lead to the type of mission creep last seen in another of Hillary's greatest foreign policy disasters, the Libyan intervention.

As for Hillary, she thinks we just have to accept a certain level of risk.

Second Worst Moment: What Classified Emails?

Hillary Clinton: "I'm as transparent as I know to be."

Clinton's fellow candidates weren't shy about criticizing her role in botched Middle East foreign policy initiatives, but even Bernie Sanders was quick to jump to her defense when the topic turned to her email problems.

The crowd may have loved her unapologetic posture, but the standing ovation they delivered doesn't change the fact that Clinton is still under federal investigation for compromising classified information while serving as Secretary of State. There's nothing partisan about it.

The Best Moment: Edward Snowden, Whistleblower

Unlike Hillary Clinton, Edward Snowden intentionally made classified information public as a whistleblower calling attention to the unconstitutional surveillance of the NSA. A rousing defense of Snowden and civil liberties from Sanders and Lincoln Chaffee provided the night's best moments.

But once again, Clinton found herself on the wrong side of the debate, insisting that Snowden should return to "face the music"—or, put another way, to face charges under the notoriously draconian Espionage Act—and defending nearly every obfuscation and expansion in federal voyeurism since the Patriot Act.

The Worst Moment: What National Debt?

The candidates never once mentioned the federal debt and seemed to believe that soaking the rich for tax money will fund all of their wildest dreams. From "free" college to "free" medical care to paid parental leave to indefinite energy and pension spending, the parade of ill-conceived federal initiatives trotted out by the candidates provided the worst moments of the night.

What do you think were the best and worst moments of the debate? Tell us in the comments. Scroll down for downloadable links. And don't forget to subscribe to Reason TV's YouTube channel for notifications when new material goes lives.

Produced by Zach Weissmueller and Justin Monticello. Music by Jason Shaw. Approximately 5:30 minutes.

Originally posted on October 14, 2015.

NEXT: Dilbert's Scott Adams on the Power of Alternative Explanations, Persuasion, and Capitalism

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  1. Everyone likes to have fun with the freak shows that were the GOP debates, but this love-in of central planners was just as bad. You had Sanders telling everyone his presidential administration wouldn’t expect the press or Congress to hold its members accountable any more than anyone else. You had everyone but Webb pretending the Second Amendment didn’t exist. You had the lot of them handing out goodies no one has the means to pay for. In other words, no real surprises.

    Vote early and vote often.

    1. The different treatment given to Carson and Sanders by democrat propagandist Stephnnophoulos this morning on his show was epic. He challenged everything out of Carson’s mouth, twisting what was said in real time; and then hung on every retarded phrase uttered by Sanders, like he was a acolyte at the feet of his master.

  2. My best moment for the first Democratic debate was my skipping the whole thing.

    On an unrelated topic, I worked in the yard a bit around noon. Flurries started while I was wrapping up. Blech.

    1. It’s too hot even though it’s “cooling off”.

      I have a 26 quart stockpot at a simmer in the kitchen and I can’t even go in there for a cold beer without sweating.

      1. “Cooling off”? I’m reminded of my first trip to Austin. It was 100 degrees or so the first several days I was there. The last full day I was in Austin the weather broke and a “cold” front brought the temps to the low 90s. I drove out to Fredricksburg that day to have some food and beer at this fine establishment. In Fredericksburg the temps were in the mid 80s.

        1. Part of the problem is that no one around here has AC. I almost always have an ocean breeze, but not this summer.

          I’m probably going to have a 2 or 3 ton unit installed soon, and knowing my luck, I won’t need it for 10 years…

          1. Ahh. Good luck.

            Central AC isn’t all that common here in NH. I just lugged my window unit into a closet. My next house will have central AC. Installing central AC would be a bear in my house because the heat is baseboard, not hot air.

            1. Get a heat pump and a ductless system. It’s what my folks had in Nevada. Only problem is that they usually stop functioning below around 20 degrees, so it wouldn’t completely replace your current heater, but the AC is pretty good.

              1. Any reason a heat pump would be good for me (as opposed to straight AC)?
                It doesn’t get very cold here, and nat gas is very cheap…

                1. If you aren’t going to use the heat, then probably not. They’re 3-4x more efficient than electric resistance heaters, but the AC is the same system that any AC unit uses (to heat, they basically run the AC process in reverse). Probably somewhat better than a window unit for the simple reason that the hole to the outside is smaller and better insulated, but that’s about it.

                  1. Probably somewhat better than a window unit for the simple reason that the hole to the outside is smaller and better insulated, but that’s about it.

                    And also because they will usually cool a much larger area than most window units.

  3. Best moment #1:
    Jim Webb’s answer to Anderson Cooper’s question about enemies.

    1. Best moment #2 the shrieks of horror from the proglodytes as one of their chosen talks about war from actual experience.
      they prefer their heroes to brave the imaginary sniper fire and exploding helicopters of the mind fields.

  4. Angels are fucking stupid, Willie. That’s why they fucking worship for all eternity gods that pretend to live forever. Quit fucking pretending that bitch angel you fixed up that clanged her shit up on that fucking field is not a goddamn doofus. I’d patch her up, ask kindly for a fuck, fill her with sperm, make a salad and soup for her, and send her doofus ass packing with a kiss back to goddamn god and not sing about that shit because I’d rather fuck a smart human pussy than a dumb angel pussy. Though I am a respectful sort of gent and doofus angel pussy is far better than zero smart human pussy on that bespeckled night.

  5. ” chances of a libertarian insurgency are looking slimmer by the hour”

    So the libertairian moment was just that, a moment?

    1. Like a mustard burp… momentarily tangy, and then forgotten in the air.

      1. That’s why you have to blow it into people’s faces. Just like libertarianism.

        1. How bad is it that even the “Libertarian” news doesn’t cover the Libertarian candidates whatsoever, Seriously reason what the fuck?!

  6. Korean chicken wings are really good. My hometown is full of Korean joints but I never ordered the fried chicken. Out of town working and grabbed lunch at this chain you coastaltarians probably find pass?. Damn good stuff.

    1. ” this chain you coastaltarians probably find pass?’

      A a registered elitist snob Coastaltarian, i believe the term “passe” is misused here. (it means “old / past its prime / no longer fashionable”)

      /sort of kidding

      I’ve never been to that joint but it looks good. there’s 3 in the city apparently

      Some of my favorite things in NYC are cheap/tasty asian places that focus on appetizers.

      1. Me too – I’m a Coastaltarian but I’ve never heard of this place. Looks good. Plus, I like chains.

      2. A a registered elitist snob Coastaltarian, i believe the term “passe” is misused here. (it means “old / past its prime / no longer fashionable”)

        Korean fried chicken restaurants were a fad that passed(among non-Koreans) in the ATL back around the turn of the decade (“old / past its prime / no longer fashionable”). I feel like a “yokel” because I never ate it until today at a chain, in a strip mall, in suburban Virginia. My office (that I never work in) is basically in metro-ATL Korea-town. I was self-deprecatingly meta-snobbing.

        1. Korean fried chicken restaurants were a fad that passed(among non-Koreans) in the ATL back around the turn of the decade

          right on. I think its lower-key in NYC; or at least i’ve never heard of it. Cheap-storefront-chinese-joint fried chicken is sort of a ghetto thing. I would have thought it would be hard to fancy it up but you never know wtf people will turn into the next hipster food fad

          there’s nothing i find quite so amusing as asian people with combo southern+asian accents. i had one as a client once and i’d save her voicemail messages purely for the lulz (*i believe she was vietnamese by way of Louisiana)

          1. I want to go there and ask for non-Greek yogurt and watch their heads explode.

            1. There was a new chain deli place that opened up in Nashville when i was in school there, and they had stupid/silly names for various sandwich combos.

              they were the only place i knew in the area that even seemed to even *have* pastrami, so i felt like i had no choice but to eat there.

              Everyone seemed to order things right off the menu, as-is. that was not the way i did “deli”. So i go, “give me a pastrami on rye with cole slaw and russian”.

              The woman behind the counter gave me a blank stare.

              “…The Presidential Pardon is Pastrami on a kaiser roll with…”

              “… I’ll repeat myself. pastrami. rye. cole slaw. russian. Thanks.”

              “…so you want the Presidential Pardon without the roll, and no mayo…”

              “…The brand names for your sandwiches are not relevant to what I just said….”

              She ended up getting the manager. I imagine the conversation was, “There’s a crazy person here and they won’t say the name of the sandwich”

              (I wasn’t as huge a dick as all that, but it makes a better story this way)

              So the manager comes up to me and he’s like, “we’re new and they don’t know how to enter ‘custom’ things in the “digital order system”… yadda yadda yadda. I just go,

              “buddy, its one thing that you wont make me a sandwich, but forcing me to even utter your @*(#& sesame-street sandwich names is just a humiliation i won’t endure.”

              everyone had a laugh in the end, and they even changed the menu eventually.

              1. I’m also the guy who ordered a “Medium” in Starbucks just to fuck with them. I don’t think it works anymore, but back in the 90s when they were newer they’d freeze up and wonder how to diplomatically try and force me to say “Grande”.

                1. I completely refuse to play that game. I never want more than a little of their shitty coffee so I just say “small”.

              2. Bobby: I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
                Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
                Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.
                Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
                Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.

              3. Nashville? Vandy? Belmont ?

                1. yes yes no

          2. My S-i-L has a pure southern accent. She’s 2nd-gen Cantonese.There’s a Vietnamese woman who works at my bank whose style is sorta Lady Gaga meets business attire. She has blonde hair (or extensions) that, worn down, is more than half as long as she is tall. She speaks Vietnamese but her English accent is “upper middle class traditionally- Black college educated “,

          3. I met a Danish guy in college. His parents were diplomats, posted to Jamaica when was a child. He came out of that with the weirdest accent you can imagine. Imagine the Swedish Chef singing Bob Marley

            1. “” Imagine the Swedish Chef singing Bob Marley””


              yeah, that’s what i’m talking about.

          4. I met my Korean wife in Memphis. She was there to take an intensive English class so she could go to grad school. She chose Memphis because if she went to school on either coast she would have been able to still speak Korean and get along. By going to Memphis it was total immersion for her.

            Of course, I had to explain to her that “fixin” was not a real word.

            Uffda! Those southerners sure speak funny.

            1. ” I had to explain to her that “fixin” was not a real word.”

              Sure it is. How else you gon eat barbecue without all the fixins?

              1. I enjoyed a few years back when some changed the not-real-word ‘fixin’ to ‘fittin’, as in “I’m fittin to go to my crib.”

                1. huh.

                  in my mommas carolina-parlance, ‘Fixing’ was akin to ‘planning/aiming/intending’, and ‘fit’ was something to describe ones’ emotional state

                  “Fixin to go to the store”, versus, “about fit to scream”

                  “Fixin'” was about ‘doing something’, while “fit” was how you felt.

            2. It works the other direction too.

              Picture a 20-year military brat (Midwest and California) who then moved to NC for college. Trying to speak Chinese.

              I’m told it sounds like Beijing by way of Valium.

      3. Those Yelp-commenters are all bitching about “cash only” at Shanghai Joe’s. “Cash only” usually means the food is going to be both very good and a good value. I don’t understand why people don’t like to use physical money and resent having to do so.

        1. There’s an Italian deli near my workplace in Jersey City that is so good I just assumed they only take cash. People even bitch that they sort of tend to make up the prices at the register. Alas, they do take cards.

        2. “Those Yelp-commenters…”

          I can’t read yelp reviews.

          The people who submit them are the worst people on earth. They’re so petty that they elevate their “I had one meal in a place”-experience into some kind of epic emotional roller-coaster of drama. They complain about shit so dumb i want to kill them. Joe’s S. is one of the highest-turnover restaurants in NY. After 6pm it has a line out of the door w/ a 20-30min wait…which puts off NO ONE. So the waitstaff’s policy is basically to expect you to be ready to order the second you sit down, and will kick you the fuck out as soon as your plate looks empty. Which is why i leave a dumpling on my plate at all times and keep ordering beers whenever they look at me in frustration. I also tip like i’m a fucking pimp who won the lottery because the food is so goddamn cheap. That place is a fucking blessing. I can appreciate the chinese people who split hairs about the minor quality differences between one chinatown institution and another, but the fucking out of towners who bitch about service? I want to stab them in the neck and pee on them while they bleed out.

          1. Watch last Wednesday’s Southpark immediately.

            1. lol – just saw it.

              The highlights for me – yelpers transforming into an ISIS-like organization and beheading Whistlin’ Willy, & the closing musical # “boogers and cum”

              it makes me feel better knowing im not alone in my loathing of yelp reviewers

              1. It was funny, but I liked the previous episode better, with “The Lofts at SoDoSoPa.”

                As for Yelp, I think it’s valuable because once there are more than a few reviews, the average ratings tend to be pretty accurate. But yes, some individual reviews are ridiculous. “They left my water un-refilled for ten minutes! Unacceptable! One star!”

            2. and ride your bicicleta

    2. *checks earpiece*
      This just in: Fried food tastes good.

      1. Especially that Korean chicken. I always kinda wondered why Koreans were ordering it in the Korean restaurants when all that Korea food was on the menu. Today I found out.

        1. Hawaiian fried chicken too. They marinate thighs in a sweet and spicy hawaiian teriyaki for a few days, bread it, and fry it. No sauce needed.

        2. Did you have Korean chitlins and watermelon too, LACIST?

    3. I’m on the coast, of SC, am I a “Coastaltarian”?

      1. I think you know the answer to that.

      2. Odds are good you’re a carpetbagging Yankee.

        1. Cosmoneck.

  7. “ICYMI”

    FYI to the pundit-class = Most U.S. voters not aware of Democratic debate

    “WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Despite CNN’s countdown clock and special live coverage, more than half of U.S. registered voters are not aware of the first debate between the candidates vying for the Democratic presidential nomination, which the news network will broadcast on Tuesday evening….. The lack of awareness had little to do with party affiliation. Only 45 percent of voters registered as Democrats knew of the debate”

    Which makes sense given that the differences between Bernie and Hillary are probably mostly ‘cultural’ between Democrats – meaning, they prefer one or the other for reasons that have little to do with what either of them will actually say about any given issue.

    The GOP debates were entirely different = no one really knows who they’re going to vote for and are interested in the smallest differences between candidates.

    1. The difference is that Sanders actually means what he says, while Hillary is lying her ass off.

      Which sadly makes Hillary a better candidate.

    2. I also suspect that most Dems already know that they will vote TEAM BLUE pretty much no matter what (because what they really do is vote *against* the GOP), so why bother watching when it makes no difference to what they will do? Also, the last thing they want to see is their candidates look stupid on TV; it’s much more fun for them to watch the other TEAM’s candidates look stupid on TV. Remember, this is all politics-as-entertainment. Just look at how they advertise the debates. It’s like advertising an episode of American Idol.

      1. (because what they really do is vote *against* the GOP)

        yup. Their motivation is hatred of anyone outside of the leftist hive. Doesn’t matter if the outsiders are hard-core so-cons or libertarians or the moderates who live in consultants’ heads, the left is the domestic version of the Islamic jidahis, politically at least. Either you are one of them or you are an infidel.

        1. And the same can be said about Republicans.

            1. Yeah…definitely.

              Definitely autistic.

              Of course, it’s five minutes to Wapner.

        2. The moderates who iive in consultants’ heads? Do you mean you think moderates don’t really exist in significant nos.?

          1. Most moderates who vote are pretty strongly tied to a party. There isn’t much of a mushy middle, which is why many elections are won on base turnout.

      2. I agree with both the “its who they are AGAINST not who they are FOR”-analysis, as well as the subliminal fear that they will pay too much attention to Hillary and some little voice will start whispering, “YOU DONT TRUST HER… NO ONE TRUSTS HER..” and will be forced to quash their pestering doubt by making themselves angry about the Benghazi committee.

  8. More fodder for gun grabbers: 6 year old fatally shoots 3 year old in Chicago after finding a loaded handgun on top of the fridge.

    1. We need to prevent more incidents like these by outlawing illegally possessed guns.

    2. the two had been playing “cops and robbers” when the 6-year-old saw the handgun atop a refrigerator, took it and fired it in the direction of his brother.


    3. That’s unusual. The gun is usually stuffed between the couch cushions where Mamma’s boyfriend can alternately grab it when rival gang members drive by or deny being a felon-in-possession when the cops arrive. “On top of the fridge” is relatively “responsible storage”.

      1. Yeah, how does a 6 year old suddenly see a gun on top of the fridge, let alone retrieve it.

        1. Maybe we should ask the kid. But since he was playing “cop” in cops and robbers, they’re not allowed to question him for two weeks.

          1. Snortle! (I snorted-chortled.)

  9. I didn’t watch the debates (any of them) but I’ll bet I can guess what the biggest worst libertarian moment was and is and will be – the rarity of any candidate being asked about any particular problem and answering “Well, I don’t know and I haven’t thought about it because I don’t think there’s much government can or should do about that particular problem.” All problems are federal problems and all problems can be solved if you get enough Top. Men. to throw enough money at them. So of course we all want to know what problems are first on our new God-King’s list to address when they get their turn with the monkey’s paw.

  10. icymi, the enlightened minimalist state will continue to be relegated to the status of caterpillar by government monopolies fiercely raping each other’s faces from the left and right.

  11. ICYMI

    FFS, we’re not all millenials. Cut that out.

    1. LOL, ISWYDT!

        1. If someone had told me this existed, I would not have believed it. Off to soundike….

          1. It’s my ring tone.

            1. I only have one Sparks album (No. 1 in Heaven) but I love it – do you know/recommend any others?

              1. You own one more than me then.

                1. You’re no fun. Well the one I have is their Giogio Moroder collaboration – and if that means anything to you, you should run out and get it.

      1. I just butt fuck acronyms until they bleed me their fonts.

        1. The serif don’t like it.

          1. Rock the space bar.

            1. Alternate joke: I shot the serif, but I did not shoot the Calibri.

              1. The first one was perfect. Don’t underline yourself.

          1. An odd recoil, half of the day.

            1. PM… and shiat


  12. Puke yellow diamonds into acetone baths and mount damsels slurping ass sewage in tiny yak flukes as teen age twins …

    FFS, I give. What is it?

  13. I just thought for a second mummies ran the goddamn pyramid.

  14. I don’t think threads filled with lovely unicorns and geniuses and comets understand time like human brains that eat percoset and booze understand time.

  15. Watch, man, everything will die for like 4 days. and then My fucking face will check in on Tuesday on today right now and then a… wait- I will just fucking delete this shit because I really don’t even get what the goddamn FUCK is going on with these bae.

    1. “Mr. Cyborg, I must say that your answers make more sense that the answers of the other candidates.”

      1. You will always be NOTGKC to me son. You lovely sweet tenderhearted robin hood of the forest of threads on this fucking jungle. Just not totally sure who Big John is, yet… wait…

        Did NotGKC get the biggest fucking compliment ever awarded to all the buccaneers, pirates, spaceship riders, and outlaws, and whores and sluts and pyramid hunters and earth cutters on this site ever?

        Is NOTGKC the Robin Hood of Reason? yup.

        1. And you’re Will Scarlett. And I must say, your outfit is fabulous.

  16. Fuckin k-pop is like eating way too much goddamn licorice.

    1. How do you fuck k-pop?

      1. Have you ever seen those teeny-bopper K-Crap girl groups?

        Or do you want to fuck the foppish guys in a pound and a half of androgynous foundation make-up?

        1. Must he choose?

        2. Yes, Ted.

      2. Fucking listen to goddamn Korean spawn sing songs and shit while you smoke the largest tree in Ohio?

        1. while you smoke the largest tree in Ohio?

          Coming from any other man this would be boasting. From you, it’s an understatement.

  17. Piles of fucking crazy people in this goddamn bar just fell in on my ass and I’m lying on boring tile with glass shards and jager puke and a boob is poking out over ther and I can barely type this into my goddamn ridiculous nexus because a very large lumberjack is sitting on my back. This is why I like bars but I refuse to drive home because I have so much shit in my array of fucking things and crap and all but jesus christ I guess I’ll get home on a whore vagina.

    1. Is it a designated…no, never mind that joke.

    2. That is why I drink at home. Fucking lumberjacks.

  18. Presumptive democrat nominee Hillary Clinton is on the wrong side of all six issues.

    While the republican front runner, Trump is on the libertarian side on 4-1/2 of the 6. But he’s crazy fascist so the Cosmo’s will no doubt endorse Hillary in a year.

    1. Wow you’re hardcore

    2. “While the republican front runner, Trump is on the libertarian side on 4-1/2 of the 6. But he’s crazy fascist so the Cosmo’s will no doubt endorse Hillary in a year.”

      Which one requires registration of drones, like all good libertarians, Zaytsev?

      1. All of them.

        1. Didn’t you use to skate with Irina Rodnina?

      2. All of them.

        1. So you love ’em! Good.

    3. Trump is doing exactly what I’d hoped Rand Paul would do this cycle. He’s running against the Republican Party and George W Bush. I had hopes for Ted Cruz as well as RP but Trump and Carson are the only GOP candidates running against the Republican Party. There’s no one else to pull for in this race.

      1. Don’t count Cruz out. I think he’s biding his time, hoping Trump flames out.

    4. 4-1/2 of the 6

      I’m seeing 2 at best. Unless Trump’s actually going for pot federalism now.

  19. I object to the excessive number of video blogs on Reason. Videos are less efficient than text for various reasons:
    It is harder to skim a video than text, because you can’t see what is being talked about at each moment.
    Most of us can read text faster than we can speak the same text spoken aloud.
    Many of us can browse text at work but it would be frowned upon to watch videos.

    Usually when reason posts a video I just skip it. Is it really cheaper to record and edit a video than to write an article?
    Please more articles, fewer videos.

    1. Yes, or maybe a transcript?

    2. “Usually when reason posts a video I just skip it. Is it really cheaper to record and edit a video than to write an article?”


    3. I think if videos here had Birch trees with magnificent tilting brains spilling fucking tons of literature and shit on a white cliff with pirate ships tied alongside with flocks of pink seagulls marauding the surrounding stonehenges with dead tea flowers piled in the shaped H and M with flickers of english angels hovering about perhaps Hazel the fermented lovely dragoness.

    4. I don’t do videos – period. Except occasionally at home I’ll click on a youtube link if I sense that sufficient humor awaits but otherwise I find them a huge waste of time.

      1. ‘Scuse me.
        My answer to HM made it sound like I was agreeing it was cheaper. I have no idea; I was agreeing with the HM’s comment as I will with yours.
        No, I didn’t watch any of the ‘debates’, nor the vids of them, nor sample vids of them. Write it down, I’ll read it, consider it, re-read it to make sure it’s not a scam.

    5. Some people like videos. Not me, particularly. I think the best compromise is to always include a transcript.

  20. I always listen to Townes Van Zandt because my arms, heart, and asshole feel the TVZ is the biz.

    And I have this shitty story no one should give a fuck about so go away and fall asleep, libertarian fields of poppies and screwy leaves.

    Fucking have a story with no ending and shit and I can’t write worth a crap but TVZ is spilling his dead sperm all over my face and shit so I have to just slice open a torrent into a glance of my fucking past that is speaking to me this night. And

    1. it was so goddamn cold in toledo in 85. Well, goddamn, it was fucking November and my sister had to have some poverty piano lessons. I call this shit poverty families trying desperately to make their children better in the face of elite cultures that shit on them. But I was shat from mom’s vagina a realist and so i sat at 15 freezing my goddamn ass off in 85 in a superstructure from the 1850’s. A magnificently constructed relic from ages where actual people build great crap but I as a teenager froze my ass off in in 1985 while my sister tried to move her frozen fingers to an old lady that was a genius piano player and the shadows were dark on the oak and lines of ages wood surrounding us as we me and my brother and last sister waited. The glass reflected the downtown leaves and looked inward and scolded us for fucking playing piano so late into the ghetto season. I pulled my knees up and peered down at an iron nail in the floor that glistened suddenly with the snow flying across the glass windows while my oldest sister shivered at the key notes and our old lady who was an alien from a time I could never appreciate at that time and never after until now… Who the fuck offers piano lessons when it is fucking 10 degrees in an old building?

  21. This appeared in my youtube playlist (god knows why…the algorithm is a mystery to me)…

    …and i thought of Agile Cyborg for some reason. I believe it was the title, “Coconut Crotch Water”

    Trigger Warning = Naked Hippies Complaining

    1. I watched that live super G and that shit made my face think of the reason loves. Best shit goddamn ever. Best goddam N&A shit also. Fucking badass female that. Super G is a gigantic lion with humongous claws and I just fucking hope he doesn’t rip my head off and gnaw my tonsils out of my severed head.

    2. I was watching The Mouse That Roared with Venetian subtitles,

      1. Makes me think the Venetians are up to something.

        /strokes beard.

  22. OT:
    Looking at some examples of hydraulic engineering, there is a strange confluence of waterways in Minden, Germany, where one canal passes over the Wesser River but also has a side channel to a lock which lowers any vessels to the river level. The river, canal and channel enclose what is a sort of very small ‘island’; you can find this at N. 52-18-20, E. 08-14-00.
    OK, Sevo, WIH should I bother looking?
    Well, in Bing maps, Aerial view, there is a stone quarry smack in the middle of the island and it takes up about a quarter of if, I’m guessing 60-80′ deep, (well below the canal or river) almost totally surrounded by water; that’s strange enough.
    But then, if you switch to Bird’s Eye View and zoom in pretty closely, the quarry is GONE, and replaced with a flat surface, buildings that look relatively new, but are surrounded by some trees that didn’t get planted yesterday.
    Damn strange!

    1. Google makes my little elf self buy a North Face mysterious jacket at that location. I refused the thing of googles. so bing it is… and shit.

      1. Just checked: Google shows some construction that looks like dry-docks!
        Man, the city fathers of Minden are some busy folks!

        1. You are a goddamn Eurofuckingpean? or what, sevoid?
          I am starting to brainbleed you as a wandering boy on a lost comet or planet, man, Which is fucking awesome delightfuly.

          1. Agile Cyborg|10.18.15 @ 10:42PM|#
            “You are a goddamn Eurofuckingpean?”

            Far worse: A Califuckingfornian!

        2. so you are Danny Boy Sevo. The lovely Danny Sevo.

    2. In my hometown there is a canal which crosses the river without a bridge. I always thought that was weird.

      1. It’s not that uncommon.

        1. I suppose not. The original path, before it was re-routed around the city, ran thru downtown and crossed the river on a bridge.

      2. Your hometown is 1 hour from mine. Still in the woods up here?

        1. Nah, NYC now.

    3. are you a european?

      1. what a delightful realization. Sevo is out there past this fucking tinkle bell shiver space called Murica….

        I love the reason bleeds and dead and living but so Sevo is past the great waves and shit. So sort of super cool.

    4. I do similar shit for work sometimes

  23. So if an asteroid killed a bunch of shit off we start over man. Maybe killing the fucking greek reach off might be good but FUCK. the rest.

  24. Sevo is a european cheese sandwich. So I would FUCKING APPRECIATE THE FUCKING FUCK if the sweet european cheese sandwich would let the fucking self called my goddamn face of agile know this before he posts crazy linear shit my goddamn Americanized internet bing and google ass experince can realize.


  25. ICYMI the fucking united states of america is dribbling oil from its engine, dada.

  26. ICYMI is how letters kill expression. Because i want all the shit I want my fingers to post to eat my goddamn dick off my body because of those goddamn acro. and my zombified dick is now eating my ass and face.

    Thank you, ICYMI.


  27. so all these people drop like boats on an empty lake on shores lined with shouting dreams.
    I guess this shit is alarming but not to me, Danny Boy.

  28. Tonight we have another installment of “I can’t believe it’s not Agile.” Courtesy of T. S. Eliot –

    “And I have known the eyes already, known them all?
    The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
    And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
    When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
    Then how should I begin
    To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
    And how should I presume?…

    “I should have been a pair of ragged claws
    Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

    “And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
    Smoothed by long fingers,
    Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
    Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
    Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
    Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?”

      1. Not is a wise man and will fucking be the wizard forever… Period.

  29. Here’s another one

    “Spitting in a wishing well
    Blown to hell
    I’m the last splash
    I’ll be your whatever you want
    The bong in this reggae song
    Want you coocoo cannonball
    Want you coocoo cannonball
    In the shade, in the shade
    In the shade, in the shade”

  30. Agile’s patriotic lyrics

    “Cousin Simon grew so bold,
    I thought he would have cocked it;
    It scared me so I streaked it off,
    And hung by father’s pocket.

    “And there I saw a pumpkin shell,
    As big as mother’s basin;
    And every time they touched it off,
    They scampered like the nation.”

  31. a fuckin failed attempt to love Not.

    the feel of tips on the swings
    and underneath the soft pleasures
    the inward talks arise under the cresting moons
    and the clouds are heavy with bromoms and slack
    and dragons and dangers and rains fall and pull
    and under the sweet call we rest here and can see
    through the mist a massive beast, man

    I am so trying to be safe while penning some crap for
    and I deleted 5 lines no one can read because of strange shit
    but we roll into the lights of minds and geography
    the pulse on your shoulders brother and the screaming anger on
    your dick smashin its fucking lightning to make you cum on
    your face and my asshole and balls.

    1. You can’t fool me, that’s Robert Frost.

  32. Agile appreciates the Eastern Roman Empire:

    “An aged man is but a paltry thing,
    A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
    Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
    For every tatter in its mortal dress,
    Nor is there singing school but studying
    Monuments of its own magnificence;
    And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
    To the holy city of Byzantium.”

  33. NotGkc
    a lovely smashing tempest
    breaking falling cries hovering
    in the planets and flying over the
    lost spiritual zone
    and NotGkc a falcon was inspired to
    drop into the middle of fucking drugville
    and NotGkc landed like the fucking pudgy smart

    young jelly boy he his and notgkc ran above my drone
    for the river and and the snakes ate him and I instructed my
    drones to kill the snakes and notgkc sscreamed and cried
    and he crawled into a village and my drones caught him asking
    for a sandwich and my drones laser zapped that crap out of his
    hands because we have to make motherfucking Notgkc goddamn
    tough… but I saw Notgkc crying next to a bronze statue of a huge ball of twine
    and I killed my drones. I shot them in the tech chest with a shitgun and ran to
    my bro and i say Notgkc next to a waterfull so lost and I gathered him up
    in my arms and kissed his forehead and petted his hair and offered him the
    love of the agile factory and shit and Notgkc was stapled to a table
    and we attached love infused rockets to his ass and super missiles to his shoulders and a
    tons of space monkeys on his back and I pressed

  34. i just made my entire brain eat love breath and fuck notgkc this eve and my cock, balls, and deamons approves.

  35. Emily Dickinson:

    It Ruffles Wrists of Posts
    As Ankles of a Queen –
    Then stills it’s Artisans – like Ghosts –
    Denying they have been –

  36. OK, Agile, it’s time to give you a Pounding

    Come my cantilations,
    Let us dump our hatreds into one bunch and be done with them,
    Hot sun, clear water, fresh wind,
    Let me be free of pavements,
    Let me be free of the printers.
    Let come beautiful people
    Wearing raw silk of good colour,
    Let come the graceful speakers,
    Let come the ready of wit,
    Let come the gay of manner, the insolent and the exulting.
    We speak of burnished lakes,
    And of dry air, as clear as metal.

  37. I think this is by Shakespeare or someone similar

    “Just plug me in just like I was eddie harris
    You’re eating crazy cheese like you’d think I’m from paris
    You know I get fly you think I get high
    You know that I’m gone and I’m a tell you all why
    So tell me who are you dissing maybe I’m missing
    The reason that you’re smiling or wilding
    So listen in my head I just want to take ’em down
    Imagination set loose and I’m gonna shake ’em down
    Let it flow like a mud slide
    When I get on I like to ride and glide
    I’ve got depth of perception in my text y’all
    I get props at my mention ’cause I vex y’all
    So what’cha what’cha what’cha want what’cha want
    I get so funny with the money that you flaunt
    I said where’d you get your information from huh?
    You think that you can front when revelation comes”

  38. Just have to mention that Zack and Justin made a horrible mistake in passing on an alt-text.
    Sanders looks like some smarmy game show host awarding the trailer-trash winner with some cheap bracelet from the shopping channel.
    “And Jimmy, what do we have for the second-place winner?!” (applause sign)

  39. “The other gods! The other gods! The gods of the outer hells that guard the feeble gods of earth!… Look away… Go back… Do not see! Do not see! The vengeance of the infinite abysses… That cursed, that damnable pit… Merciful gods of earth, I am falling into the sky!”

    I hate it when that happens.

  40. TCM just started playing Harry Houdini in The Grim Game for a second time tonight. Seemed weird as they usually don’t do that but this is essentially a “premier” of a film almost no one alive today has ever seen.

    1. TCM = my favorite channel.

    1. “I’ll take you home again, Kathleen…One more time!”

  41. Hillary Clinton: “I’m as transparent as I know to be.”

    That is the most (Bill) Clintonian thing I’ve ever heard her say. Maybe he’s giving her tips. It sounds at first like she’s saying she’s transparent, but when you parse it, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

    “Did you steal that?”

    “I’m as honest as I know how to be.”

  42. Another weekend of Whose who amongst potential monarchs, and the Libertarian news doesn’t cover anything to do with the LP primary, doesn’t even cover that there is a primary, doesn’t even note who is running. What gives reason? Why should any of us care further than a single synopsis on both colors of the Oligarchy Forever FTW “debates”? Does anyone know who Darryl Perry is, why one of the candidates looks like a gopher crossed with a walrus, how another is running on cooperating with the oligarchs?
    or do we get no primary coverage from even our own news, forever to be lost to that one fleeting libertarian moment.

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