U.S. Knew Bombing Target Was Hospital, Hastert to Plead Guilty, Debt Ceiling Deadline Earlier: P.M. Links

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  • [inappropriate sexual pun related to gavels.]

    Some U.S. officials knew in advance that the target of the airstrike in Afghanistan earlier in the month was indeed a hospital. It is not clear whether the commanders who led the strike knew before the bombing, which killed 22 patients and staff. Doctors Without Borders, who operated the hospital, is calling for an international probe, rather than relying on an American-led investigation.

  • A new Edward Snowden-esque whistleblower has come forward and released classified documents that detail how the United States' drone assassination program, which has led to the deaths of hundreds of people who weren't actual targets, operates.
  • Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert has apparently agreed to plead guilty to giving somebody millions of dollars to cover up some wrongdoing (believed to be some sexual abuse of a high school student years ago).
  • Sen. Bernie Sanders is attempting to increase his post-debate profile by appearing on The Ellen Degeneres Show.  
  • Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says the U.S. will stop being able to borrow money by November 3, two days earlier than he had previously calculated, if Congress doesn't increase the debt limit.
  • A federal judge has ordered Utah to keep funding Planned Parenthood while a lawsuit over the governor's attempt to halt it plays out.
  • Several campaigns are complaining about the rules (and apparently lack of information) about the next Republican debate on CNBC. A Donald Trump aide is threatening a boycott.

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  1. Sen. Bernie Sanders is attempting to increase his post-debate profile by appearing on The Ellen Degeneres Show.

    How many television appearances is too much?

    1. “Sen. Bernie Sanders is attempting to increase his post-debate profile by appearing on The Ellen Degeneres Show.”

      Will she have Trump next?

      1. Hello.

      2. “Sen. Bernie Sanders is attempting to increase his post-debate profile by appearing on The Ellen Degeneres Show.”

        Oh no! That might get him greater exposure with the unemployed! And homemakers.

    2. Insert obligatory Hillary-is-a-lesbian joke here.

      1. Today, on the same day a US Government report calls to “End Conversion Therapy for LGBTQ Youth, Experts Say”, a hospital is having the Grand Opening of its “LGBTQ Mental Health Center”, where LGBTQ individuals and youth can get “special mental health assistance tailored to their individuality”.

        And you thought there was a lot of tightrope-walking in the movie “The Walk”.

        1. “End Conversion Therapy for LGBTQ Youth, Experts Say”

          I thought that is what the “T” is all about…

      2. Hilldog is no Eleanor Roosevelt.

  2. Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert has apparently agreed to plead guilty to giving somebody millions of dollars to cover up some wrongdoing…

    Hush money is illegal now?

    1. Apparently, it’s a bigger crime than the sexual abuse of a high school student.

      1. Sexual abuse doesn’t harm agents of the state.

        1. Unless it’s a teacher accused of the sexual abuse of a student.

    2. I could see there being a difference between paying someone to hide evidence and paying someone to leave you alone, but yeah, from that blurb it sounds like settling out of court is illegal all of the sudden.

      1. Apparently it’s OK if you’ve actually filed a suit, but not before. As always, the State must approve, or wet its beak in the form of filing fees.

    3. Yet another example of journalists messing up legal issues. The indictment was for withdrawing money in amounts below $10k to avoid having the bank file disclosure reports (a crime known as “structuring”), and for lying to the FBI when they questioned him about it.

      1. Yeah, we couldn’t have them reporting on the ridiculousness of not letting people do what they want with their own money.

      2. The word that should be in quotes is “crime”, not “structuring”.

        1. Good point.

      3. I understand it goes something like this:

        He is/was accused of something ugly (abuse of a teenager), but the statute of limitations ran out on that. Because everyone is guilty of something in these United States, the prosecutors are going after him for the “structured payments” thing. The “lying to investigators” thing is just the cherry on top (be sure to read Popehat’s “Just Shut Up” advice).

        He’ll plead so that he doesn’t have the ugly details come out at trial.

        1. Of course, since under-the-table payoffs aren’t a binding contract, is there anything preventing the victim (or “victim”) from telling his story? Maybe for money?

          And I wonder if he declared receiving those payments on his income tax?

    4. Cramer also raised the possibility that the defense could seek to waive a sentencing hearing entirely to keep the salacious details underlying the charges from becoming public. That would be a highly unusual move, though, especially for such a high-profile case, and would require the approval of the judge.

      Who is willing to bet that this “highly unusual move” doesn’t happen?

      1. I don’t think it matters, because there are too many people who want dirt on Republicans to become public.

    5. I seems to me that Shackford’s intern is confused. As far as I understand the Hastert mess, the charge was not about giving somebody money – that was the salacious part – the charge was related to currency reporting requirements. Prosecutors are using the threat of talking about the _why_ of passing the money to force Hastert to plead on the money “structuring.” Yes, the linked article does confuse things, it looks like purposefully, and invites the careless reader to think that Hastert’s crime is about passing millions of dollars, when really the crime is about not doing the passing in such a way that conformed to proper bureaucratic procedures.

  3. “Some U.S. officials knew in advance that the target of the airstrike in Afghanistan earlier in the month was indeed a hospital.”
    I’ll just leave this here.

    1. The bombing is Bush’s fault.

    2. “If you like your doctor, you can keep him….. until we blow him up”.

      1. Frank and Lynchpin seem to think that our welfare boys in uniform don’t deliberately target and murder civilians.

          1. They’d be wrong, slaver.

            1. No they’d be right. You’re a moron.

          2. As much as it pains me to say it:

            Fuck each and every government asshole (including our Heroes in Green) who BOMBED A FUCKING HOSPITAL.

            1. According to dipshit, that’s everyone in uniform. EVERYONE.

              1. You still sucking that military cock?

            2. Bombing a hospital is not necessarily wrong. If the Taliban is using it to attack you, have no mercy. The collateral death is on their hands.

              1. Under the Geneva Conventions, which the USA is a member of, IT MOST DEFINITELY IS WRONG to attack a hospital without warning, you ass. Yes, you’re allowed to attack a hospital if it’s being used to attack, but ONLY after providing advice warning. Which very apparently didn’t happen here.

                But blame the Taliban for America’s fuck up if that makes you feel better.

                1. I am not interested in the Geneva Conventions. They are meant to be spat upon.

                2. *Under the Geneva Conventions, which the USA is a member of, IT MOST DEFINITELY IS WRONG to attack a hospital without warning,*

                  Hey, guess what genius? The Taliban isn’t a signatory to Geneva and thus, aren’t afforded its protection. Too bad; so sad.

        1. I’d say they probably do sometimes. But that doesn’t mean that every dead civilian was deliberate or calculated. I don’t really have the necessary facts to say anything for sure.

          1. Zeb, if one is in the military, by definition, one is a leech. One is not making or producing anything upon a voluntary and peaceful basis.

            If one is in the military, one is soldiering for Caesar, for Leviathan. One is not making the world a better place.

            Of course, not every single military member intentionally kills civilians, but too many do.

            1. if one is in the military, by definition, one is a leech.

              This is rich.

              I gave up four years of my life while earning minimum wage defending this country so ignorant losers like you have the freedom to badmouth us. You’re welcome.

              1. What did you do to stop the IRS?

                What did you do to stop the confiscation of the wages actually earned by people in the private sector?

                What did you do to stop the caging of people who grow ganga?

                What did you do to stop the on-going erosion of the 4th amendment?

                What did you do to stop the CIA?

                You were a slave for Caesar. Don’t flatter yourself.

                1. I was a Sergeant, not the President. I did my job and worked harder in those four years than you probably have in your whole life. What have YOU ever done to combat these things that concern you so much? Spouting bullshit on a website doesn’t count. And I’d love to see you go to a bar full of Marines and say this stuff away from the safe anonymity of your keyboard. But guys like you are too cowardly for that.

                  1. First, you claimed that you ‘defended this country so ignorant losers like [me] could have the freedom to badmouth us.”

                    It would appear that you think that the military GIVES an individual American the freedom to speak. You must therefore ratiocinate that rights are grants from princes and parliaments. Why else would you asseverate that it is the military that bestows free speech upon us?

                    You, sir, did not give me any rights. Freedom of speech and freedom of expression are natural rights that each and every human being has. To be sure, there are those who pay the ultimate price simply for expressing their thoughts. There are those who pay a dear price for freely exposing that which your brethren have perpetrated in the last dozen years or so.

                    In the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson did not write that an individuals rights spring from the sacrifices of a soldier. What do you think many in the founding generation thought of soldiers in uniforms?

                    1. In responding to my queries above, you assigned your rank as reason for your failure to terminate the IRS and its confiscation of the wages actually earned by people in the private sector.

                      Was it also because you were a sergeant that you were not able to put an end to asset forfeiture aka road piracy stateside?

                      Did your rank prevent you from protecting us from the ravages of the drug war?

                      Yet, you can insist that it was you who give me the right to speak freely. Do you not see the cognitive dissonance?

                    2. Do you not see the cognitive dissonance?

                      I do not. My job was to protect the homeland and our Constitution. That’s what I did. It’s YOUR job to campaign for and/or elect good politicians who will do what’s best for the people.

                    3. Protecting the constitution means protecting individual liberty and protecting the right of each and every individual to own a gun without having to secure permission from your employer, the great united socialist states of amerika, or one of its political sub-divisions.

                      Protecting the constitution means protecting each and every individual’s inalienable rights which are not subject to regulation or abolishment by your employer.

                    4. Presumably, Antilles, you are here because you are a friend of liberty, i.e., individual liberty, a free market, peace and prosperity and the non-aggression principle. If not, perhaps someday that will be the case that you remain.

                      In the meantime, please examine why you think it is a good idea to be a soldier.

                      Why do you think it is a good idea to spend four years in the public sector?

                      Why do you think it is a good idea to join a state sponsored military or para-military organization?

                      How is joining a state sponsored military organization compatible with being a truly free individual?

                      How is deriving a paycheck by means of violence compatible with liberty?

                    5. you are here because you are a friend of liberty

                      I am. And I am every bit as appalled by the tactics or the IRS, cops, and the DEA as you are. I joined the Air Force because I was poor, couldn’t go to college, and knew it was my path to a better life. But I’m also proud of my contribution and served with a lot of good men and women who you are now making ugly accusations against. You have the right to say anything you wish, but talking about things you know nothing about (the military is like welfare and they intentionally kill civilians) makes you look foolish.

                    6. you think that the military GIVES an individual American the freedom to speak.

                      I said no such thing. However, I did do my part to maintain our B-52 fleet to serve as a deterrence to hostile nations (in this case, the Soviet Union) who might have conquered us and taken away the freedoms you take for granted. And I would have given my life to preserve the rights and freedoms that have been preserved by other military members for over two centuries. Those of us who serve don’t expect your gratitude, but we don’t deserve your contempt either.

                    7. It would appear that you think that the military GIVES an individual American the freedom to speak. You must therefore ratiocinate that rights are grants from princes and parliaments. Why else would you asseverate that it is the military that bestows free speech upon us?

                      While we’re all thrilled that you so thoroughly enjoy your word-of-the-day calendar, because it lets you use big words to make up for the fact that you don’t know anything, your entire premise is an attack on something Antilles never said.

                      You clearly just want an excuse to act like a ridiculous manchild and play Internet tuff gai.

                    8. Antilles said the following:

                      “I gave up four years of my life while earning minimum wage defending this country so ignorant losers like you have the freedom to badmouth us.”

                      You wrote that my “entire premise is an attack on something Antilles never said.”

                      What don’t you get?

                      BTW, it is not me who is suggesting that the very freedom of speech that Antilles claims he defends in my behalf is something I better not exercise in a bar full of marines upon penalty of being aggressed.

                      Yet, you cast me as playing the “internet tuff gai.”

                    9. “I gave up four years of my life while earning minimum wage defending this country so ignorant losers like you have the freedom to badmouth us.”

                      You wrote that my “entire premise is an attack on something Antilles never said.”

                      What don’t you get?

                      I don’t know if you’re just being dense on purpose, but what Antilles clearly meant is that his service helped maintained the conditions that allow others to exercise and enjoy their freedoms. You can quibble on whether that is in fact true, but your leap to accusing Antilles of claiming that he is personally responsible for that freedom existing in the first place is entirely unfounded.

                  2. I’d love to see you go to a bar full of Marines and say this stuff away from the safe anonymity of your keyboard.

                    Wait, I thought you fought for his right to voice his unpopular opinion? Now you’re saying that agents of the state should beat the shit out of anyone who dares criticize the institution?

                    1. Now you’re saying that agents of the state should beat the shit out of anyone who dares criticize the institution?

                      “Should” is an over-interpretation of what he said, no? I mean, he clearly thinks the likelihood is high enough that they *would* to deter someone from spouting off around them, but he never even implies that it’s the correct course of action even if it’s the backbone of some internet chest thumping.

                    2. I thought you fought for his right to voice his unpopular opinion?

                      Mike is talking shit: calling military members welfare recipients and saying they just blindly kill civilians. Those aren’t opinions–they’re lies. But he feels safe behind his keyboard and would never express his beliefs to the faces of the people he’s slandering. But people like him would never stand up and risk their lives defending what they believe in. Fortunately, there are still some people who will.

              2. Not to embrace LM’s paleocon twerpiness overmuch, but do you really think the US military’s mission makes much difference regarding freedom in our country, at least since the cold war?

                I mean, the worst terrorist attack in US history wasn’t a military assault, or even really meaningfully aided by access to a foreign military backer. They were armed with box cutters, their bombs of choice were civilian airliners. They have essentially no capability to project conventional force against the US except to the extent we send troops into their sphere of influence.

                To the extent our freedom is threatened at present, it is threatened by politically motivated criminals, who are often US citizens, and by our own government. The US military doesn’t act against the former, and is part of the latter. Even if civilian authority got corrupt and tyrannical enough to warrant a military coup, we’d still likely not get our freedom back.

                1. “do you really think the US military’s mission makes much difference regarding freedom in our country, at least since the cold war?”

                  Yes. Before 9/11, AQ was basically allowed to murder US citizens without much consequence. That came to a stop, thank God. There is still need to suppress those who would behead us for drawing Mohammed.

            2. Tell us what great guys The Confederates were.

      2. Good one, PBR.

        1. *slight modest bow*
          Tonio, do you I remember correctly, are you in RVA?

          1. PBR Streetgang, this is Almighty actual. That’s a roger on my location.

    3. I’m really tempted to start an argument with my friend who was horrified about these things when Bush was president, but has now convinced himself that Obama is just awesome. I’ve done well staying out of that mess for a while now, but I just can’t even. How the fuck is this asshole not as bad as Bush or worse? Aaaaa!!

      1. While reading comments about this story on Proggie sites today I noticed most blamed our military or the US in general for the carnage. Almost no mention of Obama’s culpability. Astonishing.

        1. Inconceivable!

        2. Yeah, the fucking commander in chief bears no responsibility for what the military does.

        3. How far up the blame goes is entirely a function of Team membership. Heck, sometimes it skips levels: I have no doubt that there are leftists who would blame the individual soldiers involved, the military in general, and, at an even higher level, the “patriarchy,” but skip the commander in chief in the middle.

          1. but skip the commander in chief in the middle.

            Unless there’s a ‘R’ beside his name. And then he gets blamed for everything bad that happens in the world.

  4. A federal judge has ordered Utah to keep funding Planned Parenthood while a lawsuit over the governor’s attempt to halt it plays out.

    Does PP have to pay the money back if it goes the governor’s way?

  5. Despite my absence in the comments, I want to assure everyone that the Chicago meet-up (or as Episiarch and Warty so generously deemed it, the Nerd Fest) is still happening this Sunday around noon:30 at Hopleaf. Where we go from there is up to everyone else, but they have a great beer selection and hopefully Mal?rt, so that’s generally good enough for me.

    Looking forward to meeting everyone.

    1. Malort? I just threw up a little bit

    2. It’s only a Nerd Fest because Nicole is going.

    3. Mal?rt

      You just like triggering Nicole.

    4. Nikki posted in AM Links today. This will be an exciting event. Will Nikki truly act like The Worst? Will I hit on your children? If Swiss shows up, will he narrow his gaze?

      1. Swiss can’t drink.

        You might want to mention that this place has a braised pork belly on the menu that looks really good.

        1. Swiss can’t drink

          Then he can man up and join us in the alley to shoot up.

          1. I’ll bring the varnish and glue.

        2. All the food is really good.

    5. “Nerds, nerds, nerds, NERDS, NERDS, NERDS, NERDS, NERDS, NERDS, NERDS….!!!!!

      /Ogre

      1. “Ogre you asshole”

        “Oh, just ‘Ogre'”

    6. You are meeting in a bar this Sunday in Chicago? At noon? The same time the Chicago Bears game is on, with the Cubs playoff game the same day? Good luck finding a table — I mean, good luck finding a chair, wait, I mean — I hope you don’t have to stand in line too long to get inside, or if you do get inside, to have to wait at the bar (likely packed six deep) to get a beer.

      1. Maybe they are going to a lesbian bar?

    7. I didn’t call it Nerd Fest. That was somebody nicer than me. I would have called it something like Dorkathon or Galdorktha or Dorkpocalypse or Dorkapalooza or You’re a Fucking Dork, Fuck You, if anyone had asked me. But nobody did. Dicks.

      1. But are you a growth on Nicole’s neck?

        1. He’d be the worst of the worst.

        2. I believe so. My balls are pitiful shriveled things as well. Wanna see?

          1. I think I know someone who does.

    8. Pics will be required after the fact.

  6. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says the U.S. will stop being able to borrow money by November 3, two days earlier than he had previously calculated, if Congress doesn’t increase the debt limit.

    FYTW… Hitler!… wait…

    wait I got it- fuck you, cut spending

  7. Sen. Bernie Sanders is attempting to increase his post-debate profile by appearing on The Ellen Degeneres Show.

    Hey, maybe Hastert should try that.

  8. A Donald Trump aide is threatening a boycott.

    A boycott that will last as long as the Fox News one. He’s not passing up camera time for anything.

    1. No, no – Trump’s AIDE was going to boycott. Not The Donald. He’ll be there….it’ll be UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.

      1. Trump didn’t have to buckle, CNBC did. #winning

  9. “A federal judge has ordered Utah to keep funding Planned Parenthood while a lawsuit over the governor’s attempt to halt it plays out.”

    How do judges decide if something has to continue being done or not until the court case is decided or appealed? I haven’t been able to determine a logic to it.

    1. Judge like PP. Thus judge gives other people’s money to PP. Judge is in the right, because he thinks Correct Thoughts.

    2. PP had its funding cut because the gov declared it violated some provision of the law that allowed it to get funding. PP sued, claiming that the gov is misapplying the law. The injunctive relief essentially means that the court agrees with PP on the facts/law and that PP will be irreparably harmed if it is forced to wait for a formal resolution of the issue (which could be many months or years).

  10. Doctors Without Borders, who operated the hospital, is calling for an international probe, rather than relying on an American-led investigation.

    So suddenly DWB is going to start ignoring national boundaries.

    1. Well, that would be implied by the “without borders” part, wouldn’t it?

      I’m guessing the chances of anybody receiving a serious punishment for this are about equal to the chances of a police officer being convicted for murder for an on-duty shooting.

      1. In other words, swing and a miss?

        1. In other words, mass murder by the empire rolls on.

          1. Don’t respond to me, dipshit.

            1. What is your problem, slaver? This place is for friends of liberty, not losers who get weepy at fly-overs or flag-waving serfs or those that love to suck military cock.

              1. If you haven’t ever sucked any military cock, I wouldn’t knock it.

            2. LM’s off his meds again, just let him tucker himself out and pass out on the couch.

              C’mon, Pl?ya, I thought you knew better.

          2. Only dipshits believe America is an ’empire’.

    2. OK, I can see how they might think American courts wouldn’t convict American officials, but that says more about their countries than ours. Having said that, USDOJ certainly knows how to mess up a prosecution to protect government employees.

      OTOH, an international probe would be toothless. IIRC the International Court of Criminal Justice isn’t recognized by the US (which is a good thing, except when it’s not).

      1. which is a good thing, except when it’s not

    3. I’ll be impressed when they’re Doctors Without Passports.

    1. “He stripped himself down to being naked and then performed a sexual act on the altar stage,” Cambridge police spokesman Jeremy Warnick said.

      God damn it. I even watched the video and they don’t tell what the sex act is. It better have been autofellatio. Althoug he doesn’t look flexible enough for that.

      He is described as a white man in his 20s and was seen wearing glasses.

      Fucking hipsters.

      1. Fucking hipsters.

        That was the sex act???

    2. Why did I watch that video? I kept waiting for the lewd act and they never showed it. That’s bullshit.

      1. You know who else needed to see the finger go into the opening for him to believe?

        1. Paul Muad’dib?

        2. The OJ jurors?

        3. Diane Feinstein?

    3. The things some people are capable of when they know their targets will not do much more than try and get them to leave.

    4. I figured it was the commie pope, and not just at Cambridge. He pretty much doe that everywhere he goes, doesn’t he?

    1. We have always been at war with East Asia…..

    2. Given that their website address is “The DP,” I can only assume this is parody.

      1. It stands for the “deleterious prose.”

      2. Double Pontification?
        Double Pulsation?
        Double Pepperoni?

        1. This might help: their favorite band is DVDA.

    3. Your article last week struck me as very interesting as you touched on a topic that I am particularly passionate about. I hope that you don’t take this too hard … or if you do, I honestly do not care.

      He both hopes and doesn’t hope the author doesn’t take it too hard. We can call it Schr?dinger’s hope or maybe just a piss poor grasp of logic.

      1. Schr?dinger’s hope or maybe just a piss poor grasp of logic

        If you read the rest of the article, you’ll quickly see which label is more accurate

      2. this piece along with your response quite frankly disgust me.

        Some feelings are more important than others.
        #triggered

    4. Wow. And some in the comments are defending it. SMH

  11. Not to be pedantic (OK, precisely to be pedantic), but that hospital wasn’t “bombed”. It was shot up by a gunship. And probably not even with the heavy weapons on the gunship.

    Which means that there is gun camera footage of the barrage, and recordings of the chatter with the plane about the barrage. That’s what we should be asking for.

    1. We should be asking for the chair for all involved.

    2. If several parts of the hospital burned down, I’m betting they did use the howitzer.

      1. Maybe. Remember that they have O2 tanks there, and I would imagine those would burn up real good.

        1. The tanks wouldn’t burn up, but they would cause other burning things to burn faster and hotter.

        2. You think hospitals in Afghanistan have medical gases? Oooookay.

      2. If they used the 155, there would be craters surrounded by rubble. I haven’t seen anything like that.

        They used the 40mm, I bet.

        1. You mean 105?

          It’s hard to say. Very few pictures have been released.

          1. Yeah, the 105. Didn’t they use to have 155s?

            The pix I have seen show more or less a burned out shell. I don’t think a 105 would leave that much, but an hour of 40mm probably would.

            Eh, just guessing, really.

            I think they still have 40mm on those things, and I’m pretty sure they are Bofors.

            1. No, 105s are bad enough.

        2. The Bofors? Amazing it is still in service.

          1. Wait, is this WW2-era Bofors AA 40mm gun? The one Brits, US, Poland and basically half the Europe used? Or a modern version of same caliber?

            1. I don’t know the exact vintage. They are being phased out by Bushmasters I believe. Regardless the ak47 is 70 years old and the m16 is 50-60. If it ain’t broke…

            2. I believe so. From the Wikipedia page…

              Gunships[edit]
              Since the beginning of the 1970s Bofors L/60s are still used in the United States Air Force’s AC-130 gunships in the air-to-ground role.[9] There were plans to remove these and the Gatling guns on newer AC-130U variants and replace them with 30-mm autocannons. However, these plans did not come to fruition, and the Bofors and Gatlings are still in service.[10]

              When four additional AC-130Us were to be converted from 2002, the necessary 40 mm L/60 guns had to be salvaged from old M42 targets at the Nellis AFB range.[11]

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bofors_40_mm_gun

              1. Good grief! I guess it goes into Honor Roll of immortal weapons, with ColtM1911, Browning .50 cal, DShK and Mauser98.

    3. Two words – AIR FORCE.

    4. I want to see the BFG9000 they used.

  12. More bathos from the good folks at MEMRI: Sheikh talks about the virgins of paradise

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF-xIBlotQo

    The really funny part comes around the 1:30 mark. He gets really excited about their breasts.

    1. I dunno, he refers to “filthy social media platforms,” is against houri-shaming, is clear that there is sex in paradise…this is begining to sound good.

      The dwellers of Paradise will be given strength of a hundred men when it comes to eating, drinking and sex, because some dwellers of Paradise may be married to a hundred virgins or more

      Holy shit, that beats Valhalla. Fuck yeah, that’s what I call Male Privilege!

      1. It’s so wacky. Muslims are not supposed to drink alcohol or fornicate while alive, but if they die for Allah, they believe they will get a river of wine and an all-you-can-fuck buffet.

        Not bad, but Mormons can get their own planet and become a god.

        Adherents of the Flying Spaghetti Monster become pirates, then get a stripper factory and a beer volcano, as this flash game shows:

        http://www.venganza.org/games/index_large.htm

      2. So, if you are married to 100 virgins do they stay virgins?

        If they do that would seem to imply no sex going on, if they don’t the “married to 100 virgins” stage would last a few weeks of eternity at most.

        Alternatively if their virginity is magically restored immediately after you get done deflowering them that still seems like it would start to be a pain in the dick after a while. I mean even the most domly deflowerer of maidens is going to occasionally want to stick it in something a little less bruising

    2. The dwellers of paradise will be busy tearing hymens.

      Huh. I never thought of it that way.

      1. I’ve always found the virgin obsession weird. Who wants to spend eternity yelling “God damn it, woman if I wanted to fuck a cheese grater I would. Get your teeth off of my dick”?

        Give me a harem of STI-free sluts ANY DAY.

        1. I supposed there is a…. learning curve.

        2. Some of those…less skilled types…appreciate the lack of expectations.

          1. ^Bingo.

        3. That’s true for lame human women (and men). What you get in Paradise are houri, sensuous, beautiful being created by God to be good in bed. Later on in the sermon, he explicitly says that their hymens are rebuilt every time, unlike on Earth, but that the houri grow even more lustful.

          And people wonder how Islam managed to snowball from small sect into two-ocean power in less than a hundred years.

          1. This is dumb. I hope sex-bots ruin the appeal of Islam.

            1. Functioning sex-bots will ruin many a utopian ideology, I think.

              1. Eventually convenience will eat all worldviews.

            2. Well, they may change it somewhat, since houris sound an awful lot like sexbots. The fuckers (pun intended) are transparent and lack bodily functions other than, presumably, lubrication and hymen growth.

              The only real difference is that with houris, you have to die, so it’s a leap of faith, but if you want to enjoy your 72 Humanoid Orgasmotronic Units for Robosexual Intercourse, you have to stay alive. I kind of wonder who’s going to take that gamble.

      2. What I can’t figure out is if you can’t have sex with your 100 virgins, because as soon as you had sex with one, you’d only have 99 virgins. And eternity is a rather long time. Do you get a new virgin every time you deflower one?

        1. Jesus (can’t be bothered too look up Arabic pronounciation), you people, the man explains everything for you. You tear out 100 hymens (because you have strength of a hundred men), you go to meet Allah, when you come back, all the hymens have regrown, and the houri are ever more lustful.
          I have a feeling commenters aren’t taking the sermon seriously enough to watch it. Why do I have to enact labor for you?

          1. Oh, NOW I get it, thanks.

            That would be a wacky eternity. Having the 100-man strength to be tearing out hymens right and left sounds awfully close to sexual assault, doesn’t it? What do the feminist rape authorities think about this? Oh, right, the penetrators aren’t white American men, so therefore anything they do is OK, because they’re high up in the victim class pyramid.

            I can recall many wonderful sexual partners, none of which were with virgins. The very few occasions where I was with a virgin were rather painful, awkward, and involved some crying afterwards. I guess if these are specific chicks invented just for sex by the big guy, that won’t be the experience, I suppose.

            But you probably won’t have much deep, thoughtful pillow talk after the act with humanoid virgins created solely for your sexual pleasure. But on the other hand, they likely won’t be too pissed when you roll over to go to sleep.

            1. But you probably won’t have much deep, thoughtful pillow talk after the act with humanoid virgins created solely for your sexual pleasure.

              Well duh. That’s why you bang them in the morning, then go off to talk to God Himself, and how much more deep and thoughtful does it get? Then, when you are done, you come back home, and food and refreshed virgins are there for you. Oh, and no worries about wine – you avoid it on earth because it muddles your mind, but obviously it’s safe in heaven. And hey, it’s Arabs who gave perfected grain alcohol distillation, so hard stuff is probably there.
              It’s basically what Male Privilege Heaven is like. I assume by deduction that it also has beer.

            2. I believe the traditional conceit was that each and every penetration would be thrust with the force of one hundred men. It’s the strength of a hundred men, not the endurance of a hundred men. I believe that the man has infinite endurance here, for whatever. It’s strength that was quantified.

        2. You sing “99 virgins on the wall” until you get down to 1, and then it’s over.

          1. Are the other guys aware that you’re passing her around? I’m starting to see some loopholes that need legislating.

    3. MEMRI vs Islamists: Nobody to like, there.

      1. Why? About MEMRI.

        1. I’m sure it’s got something to do with the USS Liberty–it always does with these sorts.

    4. “The breasts of the virgins are like pomegranates.”

      ?

      I don’t even know what that means.

      1. They’re lumpy and purplish with lots of antioxidants. Duh.

    5. Who cares about some guys who built a religion around wanting women who can regrow their hymens. There are much more important things to worry about. Like Jennifer Lawrence isn’t making as much money as actors with twice her experience!

      1. Not just starfish hymens, but never-sagging boobs.

        In other news, Hillary Clinton decided to dress up like Violet Beauregard the other day:

        http://assets-s3.usmagazine.co…..line-2.jpg

        1. She may look like Violet, but she behaves more like Veruca Salt.

      2. My wife works in the artsy fartsy world. I was obligated to attend an Oscar party with her the last Oscars Award Show. One guy who hires her for jobs was the host. During the show he decised to do a little social signaling. He made the announcement that “it’s a shame she doesn’t make as much money as male actors”. I tried to bite my tongue but could not. So I piped up, ” it’s not aout male or female it’s aout how much money she generates, how many butts she puts in theatre seats. I got a few muted nods around the room. And the I went for the throat, ” but anyway she already makes more money than 99% of male actors in the world” and then I shut up. He was silent for a few minutes and then weakly replied, ” well that may be true for actors but I don’t know about the writers for the shows”

        He didn’t hire her for his next show but then finally broke down and has hired her again becsuse she is good at what she does.

        I dodged a bullet for mt wife’s career but I just couldn’t be silent around such ignorant social signaling.

  13. The U.S. military’s cursory description of what transpired has changed over time.

    Initially, the military portrayed the incident as an accident stemming from the fog of war. American forces in the vicinity were under attack, a U.S. military spokesperson in Afghanistan said in a statement, and called in an air strike “against individuals threatening the force. The strike may have resulted in collateral damage to a nearby medical facility.”

    Two days later, Campbell told reporters that “Afghan forces advised that they were taking fire from enemy positions and asked for air support from U.S. forces.”

    He added, “An airstrike was then called to eliminate the Taliban threat and several civilians were accidentally struck.”

    The following day, however, Campbell told the Senate Armed Services Committee, “To be clear, the decision … was a U.S. decision made within the U.S. chain of command. A hospital was mistakenly struck. We would never intentionally target a protected medical facility.”

    1. Oh noes, they would never intentionally target a medical facility.

      Just like Bill Cosby would never intentionally drug a young woman.

      1. So you truely think that the US Military knowingly attacked a non military unarmed hospital ?

        What could possibly be their motive for that ? What could they hope to gain ?

        Giving fodder to idiots to post on the internets ? That would booster their image ?

        Do you honestly think they intended to kill MSF staffers ?

        1. I think Mike doesn’t make a difference between Murder and Negligent Homicide.

        2. This fly in the face of new bushido!

    2. The military is just evolving. Like its Commander in Chief.

  14. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says the U.S. will stop being able to borrow money by November 3, two days earlier than he had previously calculated, if Congress doesn’t increase the debt limit.

    Sure they can. Congress simply has to vote on every expenditure individually.

  15. For the record, not me.

    if it had been a little girl, then maybe.

    1. I think we know who doesn’t read the posts. Or even other people’s comments.

      1. Did someone already speculate about this? Figures. You guys are all assholes.

    2. You would never turn yourself in.

    3. OMWC, you’re getting seriously creepy of late. Not in a funny way.

      1. Point 1 – correct.
        Point 2 -incorrect.

      2. You’re just saying that because I’m a heterosexual.

      3. He’s never been funny. And I get the feeling he’s not kidding…

        1. Run out of Mexicans to bash?

          1. Right, because refusing to patronize Hispanic-owned businesses where I received poor customer service (the same standard I apply to any business) makes me a bigot. If you want to leap to unfounded conclusions about someone you don’t know, then so will I. Especially when that someone continually makes creepy comments about raping children.

            1. No, being a bigot is what makes you a bigot.

              By the way, please check under your bed, I may have accidentally left my socks.

              1. Well, I’m definitely a bigot against pedophiles.

                1. Find them? or are you stealing them because they’re warm and comfy?

                  I hope you catch my athlete’s foot.

        2. Jesus. Of fucking course he’s kidding. It’s a persona that’s meant to be offensive, and that’s why it’s funny. I’m laughing right now that you think a child molester is roaming among us.

          And it proves a point. His last handle was permanently banned for criticizing one of Reason’s writers. But this one is OK.

          1. I offered to bang Antilles’s wife to prove it, but he didn’t seem to be happy about that. His mom is still complaining about Epi.

          2. I’m laughing right now that you think a child molester is roaming among us.

            Do you think there isn’t? You know who I am talking about…

            1. Can you narrow it down a shade?

              1. Narrow it down a shade?

                There is no need to be race into this discussion.

            2. Look, Los Doyers has never successfully banged any broads his age, so stop spreading that rumor.

              1. Look, Los Doyers has never successfully banged any broads his age, so stop spreading that rumor.

                FIFY

              2. Don’t lambast me just because I’m saving myself for the perfect libertarian woman.

                *eyes Illocust*

            3. Wait, is it Bo? Is Bo the child molester? I’ll bet it’s Bo.

          3. Jesus. Of fucking course he’s kidding.

            I’m not so sure. The fact his mind continually goes there is very telling. He clearly has an obsession. I could be wrong, but if he’s going to make ugly assumptions about me, then I’ll return the favor.

            1. Have you checked for my socks? I hate to harp on this, but they’re alpaca wool and not cheap.

              1. Pretty juvenile taunt. Are you even an old man? I’d cut you some slack if I found out you were just a teenager trying to get attention.

                1. Teens are already out of range.

              2. Alpaca wool? That shit is itchy and once they stretch they never go back into shape. Relax, it is good riddance OMWC.

                1. But they’re comfy. And warm.

      4. Tonio-

        If everyone who criticizes or legislates against homos is a “closeted fag”, what is someone who criticizes a humorous web persona that makes pedophile jokes?

        Not all pedos are homo, but some homos are pedophiles…

    1. I have no clue how that happened.

      1. Are you auditioning for a position at CENTCOM?

      2. Bath saltz

      3. I blame Bush

      4. Don’t worry, most of us are near black-out drunk at this point, too.

    2. Anyways, here’s what I was posting that the squirrels ate.

      Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says the U.S. will stop being able to borrow money by November 3, two days earlier than he had previously calculated, if Congress doesn’t increase the debt limit.

      What’s the point of having the debt limit any longer? Congress is just going to raise it without concessions anyways.

      1. …and the Constitution gets just little more deader.

        1. No No No.

          The Constitution LIVES !!!!111!!

      2. Debt limit makes no sense, either. Congress says, “We must spend X amount, can raise no more than Y amount and borrow no more than Z.” If Y+Z do not equal X, isn’t the solution to spend less?

        1. HAHAHAHA!!!! I see you aren’t familiar with politics….

  16. What Do We Really Know About Osama bin Laden’s Death?

    To summarize: we shouldn’t believe anything the government says, but Hersh is the only one who is telling his version of the story.

    1. Everyone knows bin Laden died in December 2001.

      1. I believe Hersh’s version of the story… mainly because its 100% consistent with the verifiable facts, as well as helping explain about a half-dozen bizarre details for which we Do Not have any good explanation.

        e.g. – what OBL was doing a few hundred yards from pakistani military facilities; why pakistan was so “oblivious” to the incursion; the rapid adjustments to the ‘story’ in the immediate aftermath of the event – because the original cover was spoiled by the helo crash; why no one in the facility was ever captured and interrogated, rather hushed up and deported etc.

        There’s certainly the possibility Hersh got some details incorrect. He relies mostly on 2 pakistani intel people, from what i recall, and one. its entirely possible for some things to be different but the central core of his argument to still be true = that OBL had been caught years earlier, and was being held incommunicado by the ISI; that his presence was ‘leaked’ to the Americans, because just handing him over would have caused a civil war in the ISI; etc.

  17. Several campaigns are complaining about the rules (and apparently lack of information) about the next Republican debate on CNBC. A Donald Trump aide is threatening a boycott.

    Hurray?

  18. Today is amusing etymologies

    Pundit comes from the Sanskrit word for scholar.

    Stimulus comes from the Latin word for a stick used to drive an ox.

      1. True story: “perpindicular” comes from the Latin word “perpin,” or “tall,” and the Latin word
        “dic,” or “dick.”*

        *No, not really.

        1. Um, that’s perpEndicular, Eddie. Tsk, tsk.

        2. Asinine comes from the Supreme Court, “nine asses”.

          1. *applause*

  19. Down Old Man with Candy! Down!

    I Have No Problem With My Tween Wearing Sexy Halloween Costumes

    She can’t go naked or wear something that doesn’t match the temperature. But ultimately, I trust her to make choices that she’s comfortable with.

    In a year or two I might wince a bit if she decides to wear a “hoochie” short skirt as part of her costume and suggest she wears leggings to keep warm, but I’m not going to tell her she’s wrong for wanting to experiment with looking pretty and, yes, even sexy ? because she’s just being being a normal kid.

    So maybe this year, instead of clutching our pearls and bemoaning “Hoochieween,” we can instead just support our daughters, trust their decisions, and let them have some autonomy over their own bodies. What do you say?

    1. But ultimately, I trust her to make choices that she’s comfortable with.

      You’re the parent. The reason you exist is because she can’t make decisions for herself. She probably wants to eat ice cream for every meal and not brush her teeth.

      1. She can’t…wear something that doesn’t match the temperature.

        This seems very odd. She has no problem with her daughter being a slutty nurse for Halloween. But if her daughter left the house without a coat on because maybe she wasn’t cold, her mom would make her wear a coat because she does police the temperature.

        1. sweater – noun – garment a child wears when it’s mother is cold.

      2. Why do you want to get in between their friendship?

      3. she can’t make decisions for herself

        I’m pretty sure she can. Maybe you were a late thinker.

        A parent’s job is to, hopefully, instill some good decision making in the spawn, but largely, you mitigate the damage from the inevitable stupid decisions.

        1. Nope. People don’t start making good decisions until their magical 18th birthday. Until then, it’s all ice cream for dinner* and poor dental hygiene.

          *Damn. That’s a fabulous idea for dinner tonight.

          1. STOP MAKING ME HUNGRY.

            1. I’m making bacon and waffles for dinner tonight, JW… It’s going to be so…sweet.

              1. Now I want naked woman sushi.

                1. In fact, forget the sushi.

                  1. That smell comes with the woman.

        2. The child the person writing the article about is nine. I would argue that nine is a perfectly good age to say “no” to. However, instilling good decision making is obviously the way to go.

          1. The flip side of this is I control the purse. If i think it’s stupid, I don’t buy it.

            You really want to wear this? Buy it. Don’t have the money? Save up by doing some serious chores. I get to instill some work ethic at the same time.

            When the boy wanted $140 Nikes, I laughed at him. I told him I’d pay half. He sold one old pair of Nikes to some kid at school and 2 pairs of used KD socks to another. 70 bucks. I made good on the promise.

            It was a proud moment for me. What a good little capitalist.

        3. No she can’t she’s a 12 year old girl. They’re incredibly stupid.

      4. If your kid reaches sexual maturity and you still think you (a) can, (b) should make decisions for them, you failed as a parent.

        1. The kid in question is nine. Who would consider nine mature, sexually or otherwise? Unless it is to not burn down the house if left alone for a couple of hours?

          1. She was talking about a year or two into the future, but I would argue that ten or eleven is still pretty young to make decisions like “I want you to pay for my slutty costume.”

          2. Ah good, you read just enough of the article to know her age but not enough of it to get that she’s mostly talking about how she responded to her own mother and not about how her daughter is currently acting.

    2. Now you’ve done it.

    3. No pix. I am highly disappointed.

      1. *cringes*

        Look, women of age, dressed as candy.

        1. The “Blow Pop” dresses may be a tad unsubtle.

    4. Tween?!?

      He ain’t interested in those grannies.

      1. As long as they haven’t started their periods yet. I made that mistake once, many years ago, and we’re all now paying the price. Especially Warty.

    5. When Shakespeare wrote “Romeo and Juliet,” there was no such thing as the period we now call adolescence. You were a child, and then when you became sexually mature, you were an adult.

      Because of more abundant food, sexual maturity now happens earlier, and the concept of the sexually mature but “growing child” of adolescence was created.

      1. It’s the hormones in the milk and birth control in the drinking water!

        /people on my FB feed

        1. Jesus, there’s no way we can have a single common FB friend, and yet!

      2. When Shakespeare wrote “Romeo and Juliet,” there was no such thing as the period we now call adolescence. You were a child, and then when you became sexually mature, you were an adult.

        I believe Shakespeare’s line was “old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.”

        1. I thought it was “old enough to drive to the store, old enough to get bread”.

          1. Grass ’round the wicket? Play cricket.

            Is the one I always heard.

    6. I’ve already read a half dozen articles so far this year about “sexy” costumes for tween and teen girls. Let’s be very clear about this problem with sexy costumes for kids: we’re only talking about girls here. I haven’t heard a soul complain about boy costumes ? and that’s telling.

      greatest. article. ever.

      1. If my kid wants to be Rocky from RHPS at 13, I’ll stage an intervention.

      2. I can’t even wrap my head around the concept of sexy tween (boy) costumes.

        A tween boy who dressed as a sexy cowboy would just look like a doofus.

        1. A tween boy who dressed up as a member of the department of erections would be pure class.

          1. That just reminds me of Nathan from Misfits

        2. The problem is the kind of clothing that most women find “sexy” on a man doesn’t really translate as “sexy” on anyone else because women find clothes that project confidence, aggression, strength, wealth, and status “sexy”

          In otherwords, there is no need for a male “sexy” fireman costume because the Fireman part is in and of itself the sexy part for women.

    7. Sweetie, the last thing you should do with any pubescent person (whether cis-hetero or some flavor of LGBTQWERTY) is “trust their judgment” and let them “control their own bodies.”

      Jeebus.

      1. Have you forgotten what it was like to be young?

        When I was 15, my dad started to get all uppity because I discovered boys–and I guess they discovered me. He was the typical controlling dad and I retaliated by going out and losing my v-card to a 25 year old townie.

        Sometimes when you try to help young people, however good-intentioned you are, they just won’t have it. A little encouragement probably would have stopped me from slinking off into the night like that. Just sayin’.

          1. 15 year-old Riven was not fun to look at, Playa. Picture your average nerd-herd female who hasn’t discovered anything like make-up or fashion or really any other method that might be used to improve physical appearance. Then put her in jeans that are a size too small and a tshirt that’s a size too large.

            1. That sounds fetching.

              1. Lol, if you say so! I would not have banged high school me. Just sayin’.

                0 on the binary scale. WNB

              2. Yeah, forget about the age, that description is pretty sweet.

                1. I’m convinced at this point that you’re all insane.

                  1. Just now? You are slow, aren’t you Riven?

              3. She said 15, not 5.

            2. Riven, your story sounds exactly like the Paul Le Mat-Mackenzie Phillips subplot in American Graffiti, even your outfit was identical to Mackenzie’s.

              1. His car was nowhere near that sweet–he was a cowboy-townie, not a gearhead-townie.

                But now that you mention it…

      2. And how, exactly, do you do this when they’re out of your sight?

        1. Scout’s honor, JW. Honest.

          1. “I’ll make a Tenderfoot out of you, son.”

    8. Honestly, this seems like a healthy attitude. Doing things you don’t normally do is fun, dressing like a tramp is probably fun, causing your friends’ dads to get uncomfortable boners is certainly fun. Have fun, girls.

      1. You forgot to tell them where they can find you on Halloween.

        1. And spoil the ambush?

        2. You don’t find Warty, Warty finds you.

      2. “causing your friends’ dads to get uncomfortable boners is certainly fun.”

        You have first hand experience with this?

        1. Well, he’s not wrong…

        2. Boners are fun for everyone. That’s a fact.

          1. If boners are bad, why do I have one right now?

      3. Yeah, what’s the problem, folks? There’s a difference between “you have total autonomy” and “go ahead and dress how you want for one night of the year.”

    9. I thought “tween” meant 10-12. Her daughter is 9.

      1. Yeah, her daughter isn’t looking to dress like a slutty tween, and may never want to dress like a slutty tween she’s girding herself for the fact that she probably won’t like some of her daughter’s choices over the next several years. Not talking about the current halloween.

    10. Sorry, lady, your daughter is not very smart and she’ll probably be pregnant by 13. But at least you’ll know the experimentation yielded results.

      1. Wait, why isn’t her daughter very smart? This is just the parent doing a think piece on a possible future where her daughter wants to dress up in clothes that make her uncomfortable. Not an article about how she’s responding to her daughter’s current behavior. There’s literally nothing in there that talks about the daughter’s current mental place other than the fact that she wants to dress up as “Galaxy Cat” which I presume to be some awful internet meme.

        1. I was referring to the studies that have shown an inverse relationship between sexual activity and intelligence in adolescents. That may not be the case here, but the mom is acting like the daughter’s sexual experimentation is reasonable. Yeah correlation in those studies does not = causation, but thinking that sexual exploration is somehow rational in children is insane. Children are not rational.

          1. I was referring to the studies that have shown an inverse relationship between sexual activity and intelligence in adolescents.

            I hadn’t heard that. A little research on it shows that it grabbed a lot of headlines when it came out but at least one twin study seems to show that the correlation is illusory.

            Why Don’t Smart Teens Have Sex? A Behavioral Genetic Approach

            Twins who differed in their intelligence or their academic achievement did not differ in their age at first sex. Rather, the association between intelligence and age at first sex could be attributed entirely to unmeasured environmental differences between families, whereas the association between academic achievement and age at first sex could be attributed entirely to genetic factors.

          2. I was referring to the studies that have shown an inverse relationship between sexual activity and intelligence in adolescents.

            I knew I was smart…

    11. She’s a dumb kid and she can’t think. Teenagers and tweens shouldn’t be allowed to do anything. Ever. Kids don’t need freedom, they need a firm guiding hand.

      1. Cytotoxic’s kids will be held in their growth vats until adulthood. Their entertainment will consist of Ayn Rand audiobooks, the various explosives (which they will be required to memorize), and a daily rant about how correct Cytotoxic is about everything.

  20. A courageous woman tries to expose the inherent silliness of religion, but the judge acts like *she’s* at fault!

    1. Judge St?phane Sansfa?on

      The last name means “without a fuss”. Seems like he’s not living up to his name.

  21. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says the U.S. will stop being able to borrow money by November 3, two days earlier than he had previously calculated, if Congress doesn’t increase the debt limit.

    Why do we continue to call it a ‘debt limit’?

    1. Can’t we just roll it over to another national credit card?

  22. It makes no sense that students and their parents pay higher interest rates for college than they pay for car loans or housing mortgages.

    An actual quote from Bernie Sanders’ twitter feed. I doubt he tweeted that himself, but I don’t doubt he believes it. He’s a flat-earther.

    1. Well, since student loan debt isn’t dischargeable in bankruptcy and is guaranteed by the federal government, there really isn’t a justification for the 8.5% interest rate. But there are many, many more problems with student loans right now (including their non-dischargeability and their being guaranteed by the federal government).

      1. and is guaranteed by the federal government, there really isn’t a justification for the 8.5% interest rate

        I just found the justification for the 8.5% interest rate.

      2. The justification for the 8.5% rate is that it was set by Congress through the wonderful, all-knowing, perfect democratic process. It thus cannot be questioned. The rates for auto loans and mortgages are set though the evil market, and thus are inherently wrong.

        Oh wait, the student loan rate is higher than the auto and mortgage rates? Does this mean that democratic decision making often leads to stupid and unexplainable decisions?

        1. it was set by Congress through the wonderful, all-knowing, perfect democratic process.

          Democratic Socialism!

    2. Well, you see, a mortgage loan is backed by real estate.

      A student loan is backed by…. oh, I get it now.

      1. If loaners could rip out the brains of people who didn’t pay back their student loans, I bet we’d see a lot fewer defaults.

        1. If one were to look for the brain of someone who ran up a ton of college debt that didn’t have a career payoff, what would we find?

          1. If one were to look for the brain of someone who ran up a ton of college debt that didn’t have a career payoff, what would we find?

            Abby.

            Abby Normal.

        2. While you weren’t being serious, it would be reasonable for student loan agreements to give the lenders the right to the credentials (including the right to revoke them) as collateral.

          1. It has the beneficial side effect of punishing the pursuit of empty credentials much more harshly than the pursuit of knowledge.

  23. “Some U.S. officials knew in advance that the target of the airstrike in Afghanistan earlier in the month was indeed a hospital”

    What i found odd about that AP link was that it highlighted a press conference where Obama was announcing what he thinks are the “best steps for lasting progress in Afghanistan”

    Bombing hospitals is apparently NOT one of those ‘best steps’.

    It seems to involve “doing the same shit the 5,500 troops were already doing”.

    Which is weird, because if the “mission isn’t changing”, one wonders why the presence of US troops hasn’t produced ‘lasting progress’ in Afghanistan.

    he also makes the case for this “extra effort” (of just leaving people there) based on “what’s at stake” in Afghanistan.

    He never actually says what’s “At stake”. Just that “given what’s at stake”, its imperative that he…. continue not pulling troops out.

    1. IOW, it seems that the press conference was announcing “Doing Nothing” in a manner that gives the impression that “Something” was being decided.

      Which i’ve noted before, is the entire substance of Obama’s Foreign Policy approach = creating the appearance of decision-making without ever actually making decisions; committing forces without committing to any goal; putting military personnel at risk while avoiding taking any political risk, etc.

      1. That’s a really good analysis.

      2. No, the process is called a giant game of “kick the can”

    2. Some U.S. officials knew, but I assure you, the president found out about it the same way you did.

  24. Shit, my favorite video games personality is not having a good time.

    Total Biscuit’s cancer has spread to his liver, and is terminal on order of 2-3 years.

    On the list of Things That Happen To Undeserving People, this is pretty high. For those unfamiliar with him, greatest thing he’s ever done – reading a shitty, condescending Verge article in the absolutely dead-on appropriate tone of voice.

    1. Total Biscuit’s cancer has spread to his liver, and is terminal on order of 2-3 years.

      THAT FUCKING SUCKS.

      Seriously. That sucks ass. John rules. I’m genuinely upset by this.

      1. John Bain’s work is well-done and appealing. He’s talented, he works hard, he makes an effort to embrace games as a medium for art. I believe his work encourages other people to do that, as well. He’s smart, kind, and funny. So of course he’s gonna die young.

      2. John Bain’s work is well-done and appealing. He’s talented, he works hard, he makes an effort to embrace games as a medium for art. I believe his work encourages other people to do that, as well. He’s smart, kind, and funny. So of course he’s gonna die young.

    2. TB’s videos got me into playing Hearthstone. I’ve alternately praised and cursed him for that, but he’s a good person with a good personality. Nobody deserves to go through something like this.

      Fuck cancer.

      1. That’s nothing – his videos got me into fucking DOTA2. And now I actually spend more time following teams and watching tournaments than I even play the stupid thing. And let’s not talk about money spent on compendiums and cosmetics…

  25. Oh no! That might get him greater exposure with the unemployed! And homemakers.

    It will definitely grant him great exposure to his largest potential voting bloc: retards.

    1. As if he didn’t already reach them. He’s been on TV for years.

  26. I won $400 in my work pick’em NFL league by betting on the Browns last week. Which puts me ahead for the season no matter what ($20/week buy in). I’m riding them again this week to trp the Broncos. Alternatively, if the Redskins win, I’ll also be well positioned. This is what Hell must be like.

    1. the Redskins

      The who?

  27. Fuck all this shit. The new season of Nathan for You starts tonight!

    1. Damn, wish I had cable TV at home. The first two seasons were hilarious. Nathan is a comic genius.

    2. I could go for a dumb starbucks right about now.

    3. I never got into that show.

      But none of you seemed to watch Review, so I still come out as the better person.

      1. But none of you seemed to watch Review

        I caught most of the first season and really liked it. Wanted to see the latest but as I said don’t have cable. You should give Nathan another chance. I find a lot of the humor similar to that of Review.

      2. I watched a few episodes of Review and found it merely OK.

        1. Your life must be an unendurable hellscape of excruciating sadness.

    4. That show is pretty funny.

    5. Fuck all this shit. The new season of Nathan for You starts tonight!

      Nothing could be truer, or, more appropriate.

  28. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says the U.S. will stop being able to borrow money by November 3, two days earlier than he had previously calculated, if Congress doesn’t increase the debt limit.

    Ummm … yay? About time? Can we move that up to now-ish?

  29. Light the Crusty signal!

    South Korea’s oldest prostitutes charge as little as $11

    “Hey, do you want to go with me? I can treat you really well,” a 76-year-old woman with a limp says as a reporter approaches her on a recent sunny afternoon.

    Why beauty is in the eye of the beholder

    The researchers suspect that it’s an individual’s life experiences that guide our opinions of attractiveness.

    Life experiences, eh?

    1. Seems like one of those “no shit, Sherlock” things.

      1. The headline is; the study is not quite so much.

    2. Are you inferring something about my past, Carl?

      1. No, he’s implying something about your past.

        1. Actually, I inferred it and then I implied it.

        2. Don’t you properly grammatacize me!

    3. This commenter is a moron and should be put down:

      Don’t agree with the study at all. One cannot “pigeonhole” , attractiveness. Look at couples anywhere , some may actually resemble each other , others , you wonder what they saw in each other. There are too many triggers that may make a person attractive.

      This commenter doesn’t know how twin studies work:

      Fraternal twins are not genetically identical…you might as well study any two siblings. The study of identical twins is interesting. Without identical genetic makeup though, I don’t see how any conclusions can be drawn on nature vs. nurture. Including fraternal twins just confuses the issue.

  30. Probably posted already, but I was too busy being a real-life Vincent Adultman to keep tabs on you people. Woman’s “alternative” choir sings gospel song for Hillary, replaces every mention of Jesus with Hillary. I thought we already have a messiah president.

    1. And I just ran across a story about posters that depict Hillary Clinton in Evita Peron style. I really want to comment just to ask “There have got to be some people on the left who are turned off by this kind of hero-worship, right?”

      1. Apparently not. Here we are, 7 years into Obama and they still have his cock deep in their throats.

      2. No, at best they get mildly uncomfortable, but hey,

        a) The Greater Good
        b) they can dismiss it as “them ethnic doing what they know, and it’s true enthusiasm”, not in those words, of course

      3. Consider that neither one of those people have ever actually done anything of importance, no accomplishments to speak of that any random person off the street couldn’t do and I think you will have the answer to your questions.

      4. Great googly moogly, did you see the photo from that story, about the 70-year-old Hillary Clinton superfan got her portrait shaved into her head?

    2. I guess they’ve stopped pretending it isn’t a religion to them…?

    3. Meh. they will never recreate the phenomena that was our wonderful Light Worker. The halo pics, the chanting school children, the slobbery, crying sycophants, the tingly legs. There will never be another vomit-inducing freak-show as that.

      Hillary is a poor shadow.

  31. I wish I could come to the meet-up this Sunday at the Hopleaf but oddly enough I will be in Cleveland at the game watching the Browns get trounced by the Broncos.

    PPS: Should I watch out for Warty?

    1. That’s like watching out for the coronal mass ejection about to strike the planet. Once you see it, it’ll be far too late.

      1. Who wins in a rapefight, Warty or STEVE SMITH?

        1. Dear God.

        2. We all lose.

  32. The Libertarian Moment is so huge and powerful it spans the globe…

    ….from North Korea: While on paper private entrepreneurial activities remain illegal, the law is seldom, if ever, enforced. As a result some North Koreans ? the more entrepreneurial, lucky, well-connected and ruthless of them ? have recreated the market economy from scratch. Nowadays, there are private mines, truck companies and oil refineries in North Korea.
    Admittedly, the owner has to register the enterprise as state property, but this fiction misleads nobody. It is estimated that 30-50% of North Korean GDP is now produced by the private sector.
    ….The greatest success of the young dictator has been the reform of agriculture, similar to what the Chinese did in the late 1970s. Fields, while technically state-owned, are given for cultivation to individual households and farmers work for a share of the harvest (30%-70%).

    The results of the reforms were predictable: the past few years have seen record-level harvests, and North Korea is now close to self-sufficiency in food production.

    http://www.theguardian.com/wor…..executions

    1. …to Ireland: Ireland has the usual people in a tizzy as it has just announced a reduction in the corporate income tax rate (strictly, the corporation tax rate) in that country to 6.5%. There’s a caveat on this, of course there is. It applies to business activity arising from research and development that took place in Ireland.

      http://www.forbes.com/sites/ti…..rate-is-0/

      I’ve read elsewhere that the low corporate income tax rate is like a point of national pride that the main parties use to rally support.

    2. Admittedly, the owner has to register the enterprise as state property

      Ha! Who doesn’t?

      1. Hitler? He was making a mint off Mein Kampf royalties while in power…

    3. So, it’s like a mirror image of the West, where businesses and land are nominally privately owned, but effectively controlled by the government through regulation.

    4. So it took 3 generations before a Total Dictator realized he’d be better off letting the country grow a bit.

  33. Obama for war crimes !!
    Hear that progressive democrat socialists???

  34. Excuse me, but there is a hunched-back creature inspecting Dennis Hastrert’s booty in that PM links photo.

  35. The situation with debts is very difficult and I think that the government needs to create some instruments and measures to solve all existing problems. The simple increment of taxes will not lead to higher level of living, if we end to improve it. Also increasing the debt ceiling will just cause higher dependence and will not change the situation for any good. People still have to use 24/7 online payday loans Canada when they face financial emergency, and this shows that bank system can’t provide society with all necessary monetary assistance.

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