US, Russia to Agree on Syria Air Safety, Many Republicans See Donald Trump As Best Hope, Jupiter Losing Great Red Spot: P.M. Links

• 

  NASA

  The U.S. and Russia are reportedly close to finalizing an agreement on air safety over Syria. ISIS militants, meanwhile, are fighting other insurgents north of Aleppo, where a Russian campaign backed by 1,500 soldiers from Iran is expected to start soon.

• Soldiers have deployed across Israel, with police imposing additional controls in Arab neighborhoods, as a wave of violent attacks by Palestinians against Israeli Jews continues.
• Nearly half of Republican voters in Nevada and South Carolina believe Donald Trump is their best chance to win the 2016 presidential election.
• A federal jury found that the chips Apple uses in some iPhones and iPads had infringed on a patent held by the University of Wisconsin—the university is seeking $862 million in damages.
• Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century.
• New photos of Jupiter taken by the Hubble telescope show the Great Red Spot turning orange and shrinking at a faster rate than normal.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

New photos of Jupiter taken by the Hubble telescope show the Great Red Spot turning orange and shrinking at a faster rate than normal.

Don't judge. It's cold in space.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

[PBR Streetgang]

Climate Change, amirite?

[Ted S.]

Damn your nimble fingers!

[Tonio]

But the good, natural sort; not the bad man-made sort.

[Mickey Rat]

What are those those black monlithic things multiplying at the edge?

[JW]

The Jovian 99% finally got theirs from their 1%ers.

GIANT STORM INEQUITY.

[Sanjuro Tsubaki]

Not monoliths. It's a belly button.

[Episiarch]

Jupiter was in the pool! Shrinkage!

[Riven]

It shrinks?

[Rhywun]

It shrinks ):-|

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My god, it's full of stars.

[OldMexican]

"ALL THESE WORLDS EXCEPT EUROPA
ARE YOURS. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE."

[Mike Laursen]

ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE -- To Captain Kirk, that would be like a hand-engraved invitation to land there.

[AlmightyJB]

It's bleeding out of it's something.

[PBR Streetgang]

You're thinking of Uranus.

[Los Doyers]

*perks up*

[Fist of Etiquette]

Science has never been sexier.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I fucking love it.

[Rhywun]

I love fucking it too. Wait...

[SimonJester]

Mr. Wizard says Hello.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.swi.....061307.jpg

[Fist of Etiquette]

Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century.

Woohoo! Suck it, Punxy Phil.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Winter sucks, I like this climate change thingy.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Anything that has the power to change an equinox is okay by me.

[Rasilio]

And this is somehow supposed to be a bad thing?

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Bing!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Equinox is going to come 3 weeks earlier in the US? That's fucking amazing!!

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Climate change is distorting Earth's revolution around the sun. It's that serious.

[Tonio]

Well done. Also, Fist, but yours was more trollfull.

[Episiarch]

That damned rodent has had a monopoly on weather prediction for too damn long. Maybe now we can just eat him.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Way to be a hick. I saw some roadkill on the way to work if you want an appetizer.

[Episiarch]

What kind? I don't stoop to eating possums! Squirrels are fine, though. I like to make big trouble for moose and squirrel.

[jesse.in.mb]

Creutzfeldt-Jakob would explain SO MUCH about you.

[Episiarch]

No jesse...this.

[wareagle]

"could" "by the end of the century"

Neither of those has a thing to do with science.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Thank Christ.

[PapayaSF]

Cuban Troops Join the Russian Offensive in Syria

[Winston]

Cuba, unlike the US, has been non-interventionist.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Apparently someone never saw Red Dawn.

[Winston]

The use of Cubans in that movie was totally not based on what Cuba was doing in the 1980s.

[grrizzly]

I believe they used Cubans to mask the fact that they couldn't find a single Russian-speaking actor for the movie.

[PBR Streetgang]

I thought Col Superfly was Nicaraguan, no?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

They're all the same.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Finally, someone gets it.

[brady949]

The lucky ones never saw Red Dawn

[PapayaSF]

Don't forget Che's adventures, and they sent troops to Africa in the '80s.

[wareagle]

so Cuba is getting past that now that we're making friendly? Seems an odd way of saying thanks.

[PapayaSF]

And the Iranians just tested a ballistic missile in violation of the treaty they just signed.

[Old Man With Candy]

Different treaty.

[kbolino]

Proof that lack of ability should never be confused for lack of intent.

[CatoTheChipper]

Ever hear of Angola?

[Agammamon]

Angolans would dissagree.

So would the Congoans and the Bolivians, and the Etreans and the Etheopians, and the Israelis, and the Somalians, and the . . .

You know what's pathetic? When somebody makes a blanket statement with such certainty and a 30 second check of Wikipedia shows they are completely and utterly wrong.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What do they have? Canoes and slingshots?

[Citizen X]

New photos of Jupiter taken by the Hubble telescope show the Great Red Spot turning orange and shrinking at a faster rate than normal.

CLIMATE CHANGE!!!!!!!11!!!!!!one

[PapayaSF]

Twenty migrants have sued the Berlin State Office for Health and Social Affairs because they had to wait more than a week to register their asylum cases and receive welfare handouts. They are demanding instant payment.

[wareagle]

wow. That's a motivated class of leech and looter they have in Germany.

[AlmightyJB]

And that's just the lawyers.

[PapayaSF]

Just the sort of young achievers that Germany needs!

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Well, according to the German press, those migrants are all highly educated engineers and physicians to it won't be long before they're fully employed and contributing their fair share to the social welfare system. Never mind that employment is running at 20% in France and Italy. I'm sure those migrants will fit right in unlike those dirty French and Italian youths.

[PapayaSF]

Sadly:

Why Arabs Hate Reading

The Problem of Inbreeding in Islam

[Anomalous]

Ergo, inbred Muslims tend to be illiterate.

[PapayaSF]

It is connected.

And then there are the cultural factors, which make family/clan-based societies less trustful of outsiders, and thus it's harder for them to work together in large groups. Hence Italy: strong families make for many good family-owned companies, but their public corporations tend to be corrupt and inefficient.

Another example: a military unit has to trust that another unit is going to support them at the time required. I've read some things by U.S. military advisors in Iraq, and getting Iraqi soldiers to act like soldiers was difficult or impossible.

[Rhywun]

Re: your first link

I think there is an Arabic writing that reflects current speech - in my neighborhood there are many middle eastern restaurants and other shops with Arabic menus and such - I doubt they're writing these in Classical Arabic.

Also, Arabic has a widely known set of dots and other marks that are used to represent vowels.

If literature is choosing to neglect these points, it is for cultural reasons.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

What the fuck is this bullshit! John Adams married HIS cousin. Hell, my Mayflower ancestors married 1st cousins.

[Tonio]

Why, it's almost as if they were migrating for purely economic reasons. That can't be...

[kbolino]

Being on the dole does not preclude one from holding radical views, nor from trying to see them enacted through violence. In fact, being on the dole seems to encourage such behavior, relative to supporting oneself.

[wareagle]

sure it does. Being on the dole means having a lot more free time.

[kbolino]

A lot of people use their free time thinking about how to fuck with other people.

[Homple]

"The Devil finds work for idle hands."
...Sister Theresa, catechism class, ca. 1960

[Spoonman.]

Baffling that the Democrats are going to nominate the person at least nominally in charge of the Libya intervention, and who stands by it. Every correct thing they said about W was partisan.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Every correct thing they said about W was partisan.

You didn't notice the lack of concern over the Snowden revelations, the initial invasion of Libya, or the murder of Anwar al'Alaki?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Soldiers have deployed across Israel...

You know who else deployed soldiers?

[Juvenile Bluster]

Martika?

[PBR Streetgang]

We all fall down.

[Riven]

Big Boss?

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Snake? SNAAAAAAAKE???

[Riven]

I will never get this music out of my head.

[Episiarch]

Oh dude, that's nothing compared to this. Having to listen to Skrillex on a permanent loop while you run around trying to ignite the last field but have run out of incendiaries will scar you for life. I so didn't want to have to replay the mission that I tried every explosive I had, but they must not be game marked as incendiary. I finally had to give up and do it again. I made *sure* I had enough flamethrower fuel that time.

[Riven]

God, Epi. You can't even set a field of reefers on fire correctly.

Maybe you could handle it if they gave it to you one joint at a time!

[Episiarch]

I don't like joints! And the first time I did it I had no flamethrower fuel, and I still got all but one of the fields by shooting explosive arrows and blowing up oil drums next to the fields. I was *so close* to not having to hear that song any more...

[Crusty Juggler]

I don't like joints!

Someone is ashamed of their white privilege.

[Riven]

Ok, that's pretty impressive; I mean, there are a lot of fields...

[Pan Zagloba]

Scar? That thing was a highlight of an awesome experience, so I'll listen to Skrillex on occassion when I play other games now, flamethrower optional.

Also, fire spreads and if you get close to it your character gets high. Come ON!

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

I've been thinking about changing my phone's message tone to Metal Gear's ! alert sound, but then I think that it will legit scare me any time I get a text message.

[Riven]

I've had similar thoughts, but I'd be more likely to pick a Zelda sound--like picking up a rupee for alerts and Navi's interminable "Hey, listen!" for the ringer. ... Then I think about how pissed Navi used to make me and how much I like (and don't want to smash) my phone...

[Pan Zagloba]

Back when WoW was huge, someone suggested changing message tone to Murloc gurgle and watching the people to see who twitches.

[Doctor Whom]

My childhood friends and I when we played with our GI Joes?

[AlmightyJB]

Guess I should have read the replies first.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Cuba.

[Tonio]

Gaius Julius Caesar?

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Nobel Peace Prize laureate Barack Obama?

[AlmightyJB]

Me when I was 5

[Juvenile Bluster]

Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century.

But how will that effect Springtime for Hitler?

[Rasilio]

it will certainly make Deutschland happy and gay

[Tonio]

+1 Carmen Ghia

[AlmightyJB]

Spring is for pussies. Real Germans want winter all the time.

[Brett L]

I don't think there were many Lokists rooting for Fimbulwinter, but I admit to not being a Ggermanic scholar.

[Brett L]

Are Hel worshippers Satanists?

[Anomalous]

Godwin or not? Judges?

[DEG]

REAL ID follies

It sounds crazy, but next year, millions of Americans might have to start using passports to fly -- on domestic flights.

A decade ago, the U.S. government issued stricter standards for state-issued IDs, including drivers licenses. But four states have refused to comply: Louisiana, Minnesota, New Hampshire and New York.

The deadline for upgrading is coming up in 2016. If those four states don't upgrade their ID systems by the deadline, the TSA will demand that residents of those four states use passports rather than drivers licenses to board flights next year. About 9.5 million drivers licenses have been issued in those states, according to government licensing records.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Yeah, that won't happen.

[Notorious UGCC]

We're not a "papier, bitte" society because they've stopped saying "bitte."

[Ted S.]

The obvious solution is to get rid of the TSA.

[Riven]

The only winning move is not to fly.

[Rich]

"As soon as January 2016, Minnesotans may not be allowed to board federally-regulated commercial aircraft using a Minnesota driver license or ID card."

Well, that's different.

[Doctor Whom]

But look at all of the terrorism that REAL ID has prevented.

[DEG]

Tiger repelling rock. We have it.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Because terrorism.

[Tonio]

I remember when it was a point of pride in the US that we didn't need passports for internal travel; unlike the Soviet Union.

[Lee G]

pfffftttt... we're so much better than those dirty commies

[DEG]

I know a guy that grew up in the Soviet Union that still thinks the US doesn't have internal passports or internal checkpoints.

[grrizzly]

Count me as the second guy. As long as you don't need to go to a local office of the federal State Department to put a stamp in your internal passport when you renew your external passport, there are no internal passports in the US.

[Tonio]

Passports - maybe.

Checkpoints - I've been checkpointed multiple times when visiting my family in Yuma, AZ. Have you ever driven in areas within 100 miles of the Mexico/USA border? That is not my America, that is some nightmare America.

[DesigNate]

In soviet america, internal travel passports you?

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Wait, but isn't that RACEISM or is that only the case when Republicans want IDs?

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Who am I kidding? We all know the answer to that

[AlmightyJB]

Hating DNC voter fraud is racist.

[Rich]

Whole Foods Fires Security Firm That Detained 70-Year-Old Woman

Fun comments. My favorite: Sure, today it's cheese, but what will it be tomorrow? When she is driving that brand new Lexus off the lot that she "forgot" to pay for, then what? You can't let these old people get away with stuff. Cheese is the gateway food to bigger things.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

"Unless there is an incredible apology, both personally and publicly on this FB page, including to each person who has written a comment about this, my money and I will not be in your store again," another commenter said.

Jesus. Calm down, Facebook Crusader.

[Rich]

You know who else delivered an incredible apology?

[Lee G]

Jimmy Swaggart?

[Paul.]

Me to my ex-wife?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Why would you do that?

[Riven]

I'd guess once she's the ex-wife, the time for apologies is over.

Probably more like the time for the airing of grievances.

[wareagle]

if she is your ex-wife, the incredibleness claim is under further review.

[AlmightyJB]

I'm sorry....I ever met your bitch ass.

[Florida Man]

It takes a big man to admit he is wrong. I am not a big man.

[jesse.in.mb]

I am not a big man.

*kicks can petulantly*

[Florida Man]

I thought you weren't a size queen?!?
/runs off crying

[Old Man With Candy]

Paul, you are dead to me. DEAD TO ME.

[Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)]

I thought the best part of being divorced was *not* having to apologize to the ex! I mean, I know it is for me. Though I suppose the monthly child support could be considered an "incredible apology".

[Rufus J. Firefly]

PHIL ESPOSITO.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFKvB3Wnzgk

[Notorious UGCC]

OK, which one of you jokers posted this:

"Costco has way better meat and cheeses. Whole Foods is for bored, under-sexed housewives that drive Land Rovers while their husband's are off at work pounding the next piece of tight azz."

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That could have been me, but it wasn't.

[Rich]

You call *that* an incredible apology?!

[Illocust]

How can housewives be bored? They are essentially retired. They can go forth and do whatever they want. Cultivate five hobbies. One for ever day in the week. Become a raid leader for WoW or the other MMO of your choice. Seriously, I envy these women. I wish someone paid me to stay home all day.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Because the healthy human mind needs to accomplish things. Set and achieve goals, etc.

[Rasilio]

getting that full set of raid armor is a goal

[Florida Man]

Perfecting meat loaf is a goal...of sorts.

[MoriahJovan]

Or, you know, perfecting pie crust (hint: use ice-cold vodka), sourdough and French bread, perfect strawberry shortcake from strawberries you grew yourself, building an extension for your Craftsman table saw and routing dovetail joints, pruning your apple trees and making your blackberries into jelly, canning your green beans for your winter storage, and making sure your kids can multiply and read far above grade level.

Oh, and being able to smoke brisket, ribs, and chicken with hickory chips. But you know, I'm from Kansas City. That's an expected life skill. Like driving.

See, goals are for losers.

Goals keep you from getting shit done and we SAHMs are usually about getting shit done.

[Florida Man]

Easy there sister. My mom was a SAHM. I have nothing but respect for ladies who pour so much time into their families.

[MoriahJovan]

I was bragging. 😉

[MoriahJovan]

Also, my meatloaf is to die for.

[Brett L]

Being from KC seems like a huge impediment to making good barbecue

[MoriahJovan]

LOL

[lap83]

I think lots of retired people are bored

[Florida Man]

Because they didn't save enough to support a massive cocaine habit.

[Crusty Juggler]

My father is not yet retired, but he is close. He pays a landscaper to take care of his lawn. My father then goes and weed-wacks and mows certain areas of the lawn. It is because he has no hobbies.

[Florida Man]

maybe buy him some model airplanes or a slot car set.

[Jerryskids]

I'm just going to assume you meant buy him some model airplane glue. Much cheaper hobby and the resulting youtube videos provide hours of fun for everybody.

[Jerryskids]

I'm just going to assume you meant buy him some model airplane glue. Much cheaper hobby and the resulting youtube videos provide hours of fun for everybody.

[wareagle]

it's hipster hate. But those ranks are full of beta males not pounding much of anything.

[Juice]

The only reason to go to Whole Foods is to get bulk items or dry-aged beef. If I want a weird vegetable I can get those at any international market and for half the price.

[jesse.in.mb]

Tonic water.

Their house brand tonic water is perfect.

[Tonio]

The commentariat here generally has better prose standards than that.

[AlmightyJB]

Under-sexed huh? Think I may need to be more observant next time I go.

[AlmightyJB]

I'll watch for Land Rovers.

[SimonJester]

Land Rovers do not go well with Rand Lovers. Just sayin'.

[AlmightyJB]

Wasn't planning on talking politics with them

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Wasn't planning on talking politics with them

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Okay, it was me.

[Juice]

It would be nice to fire the local "security agency" for similar abuses.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It's funny that this incident generated more outrage than the other one.

For those unfamiliar with the incident, a Whole Foods security guard beat the absolute fuck out of a customer.

[PapayaSF]

True, but the full story is that the guy was being a huge jerk because he couldn't use his food stamps for what he wanted to buy, so he yelled and threw things around, spilled a bag of cat food, spit on people, and punched the (black) guard. The guard then beat the crap out of him. So while I think the guard went too far, the victim is not entirely blameless.

[lap83]

generally good advice to not start a fight you can't win

[Crusty Juggler]

This is why I only fight children and white women who do not do crossfit or have mma training. #winner.

[lap83]

Not orphans? But how will they learn?

[lap83]

oh you did say children, good. Although now I wonder if orphans are scrappier and more of a challenge

[Crusty Juggler]

I should have specified. I would fight any child, but not a group, orphans or not. All children are sticky and bite and have little fists of fury, which is why I need to concentrate one on one.

When fighting a child it is impossible to watch one's own "six."

[Winston]

Thank Goodness "Eat the Rich" and "Invest in Infrastructure" won't play in Canada.

[Pan Zagloba]

*Stands up for an ovation, decides to climb on chair and insert head in noose instead*

[JW]

Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century.

I'm not seeing the downside to this.

[Paul.]

Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century.

New photos of Jupiter taken by the Hubble telescope show the Great Red Spot turning orange and shrinking at a faster rate than normal.

Jupiter is losing a storm that's been a feature of the planet going as far back as history records it, and we don't equate any solar activity affecting the entire solar system to the earth. Nope, all man-made.

[Episiarch]

Paul, solar causes aren't even remotely self-flagellatory enough. How can you atone for the sins of the sun? YOU CAN'T. Understand now?

Neither do I.

[jesse.in.mb]

Umm, have you said your morning devotions to Ra? Have you made a pilgrimage Rhodes to lick the toe jam of Helios?

You have clearly sinned against the sun and are so guilty of bringing climate change upon us all.

[Tonio]

lick the toe jam of Helios

Really, Jesse? You aren't going all SugarFree on us, are you?

[jesse.in.mb]

The Greek gods were perverts. Just look at Zeus coming to poor Dana? as a "shower of gold."

Helios may as well be into shrimping.

[MoriahJovan]

Don't forget he had to turn into a swan to get laid.

[Just say Nikki]

If Jesus can atone for my sins, I don't see why I can't atone for the sun's.

[Episiarch]

Uh...because I said so? Bam! Religion!

[Rich]

To be fair, the entire planet is greenhouse gasses.

[Paul.]

Perhaps Jupiter could use some cap-n-trade?

[Tonio]

And I bet they did that to themselves by not using renewable solar energy. /green

[Certified Public Asshat]

Democrats Debate: Right or Wrong, But Not Crazy

We've been through months of a Republican primary campaign that has dumbfounded the nation for it's entertaining craziness. The big takeaway from the Dem debate is that none of the candidates are crazy, that it's possible to listen as well as talk, and that American politics thrive on ideas. Boy, we needed that reminder.

[PapayaSF]

I would submit that Sanders is loonier than any Republican candidate, including Carson and Trump.

[Certified Public Asshat]

I agree with that.

I would further submit, all presidential candidates are crazy.

[Paul.]

Only because Sanders actually believes what comes out of his own mouth. Trump is just a billionaire carney with a flair for the dramatic.

[Tonio]

More dangerous. And they are on different axes of crazy, so hard to compare.

[Winston]

THIS IS WHAT LEFTISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE!

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Sanders's plan for universal college is crazy. (and I guess they're all proposing that, so they're all crazy?)

Getting America at "zero fossil fuels" by 2050 is crazy.

What were the ideas, beyond, "the federal government should do more."?

Compare that to the Republican wall-building, government-shutdown, destroy Planned Parenthood, investigate Benghazi and emails, fire Boehner, climate change denying, gun-toting, repeal Obamacare and gay marriage crowd that has sucked all the political oxygen out of the room.

I disagree with the Republicans on some of those issues, but I don't know if I'd call any of them crazy. Sanders's college plan is crazy.

[PapayaSF]

And a $15/hour minimum wage is crazy.

[CatoTheChipper]

"zero fossil fuels" = Humans will cease using fire for the first time since its discovery about one million years ago.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

This commenter has it figured out (emphasis mine):

It was nice to hear from the party of the realistic. We didn't have to listen to a debate on impossible fantasies. No build a wall, no put them on a bus, no the mother gets no choice, no take away their insurance, no shutdown until we get our way, no good guys with a gun, etc etc etc.

It was just a welcome change to hear what,a candidate thinks, not what they think voters want to hear.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Rich Whittington ? Chief Executive Officer at Stay-at-home parent

[wareagle]

beta males - a large part of what's wrong with America. I say it's guys like him with Range Rovers at Whole Foods which would explain a bit about the sex-starved wives.

[RBS]

I bet he was educated at the School of Hard Knocks.

[DesigNate]

My god, the comments.

It makes me scarred to see what's on my facebook feed.

[RBS]

If it's anything like mine: non-stop Occupy Democrats memes with the occasional offering from Blue Nation Review and Bipartisan Report.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"A federal jury found that the chips Apple uses in some iPhones and iPads had infringed on a patent held by the University of Wisconsin?the university is seeking $862 million in damages."

Damages? What consumer electronic devices does the University of Wisconsin currently sell?

[Juvenile Bluster]

I was going to make a joke involving the old Gopher protocol, but that was the University of Minnesota.

[Doctor Whom]

Royalties. Lost sales aren't the only form of damages in patent law.

[Old Man With Candy]

WARF is about a thousand times tougher and more vicious that Worf.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

How about that Chipotle stock eh?

[Juice]

It was genius to get into it any time within the past 5 years. It's dumb to be in it now.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I've been buying near term put options for a couple of months now with little to show for it.
Today was the day that I made 1600 percent.
Fuck Chipotle.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Oh you.

[Paul.]

I could say that about... ye...yep any stock in my portfolio. I'm doing worse than random chance.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Is that why you apologized to your ex-wife?

[jesse.in.mb]

Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century.

Get back to me when forest fire and mudslide season are shorter. "springtime" isn't a real thing as far as I'm concerned.

[Paul.]

"springtime" isn't a real thing as far as I'm concerned.

Not even for Arabs?

[Florida Man]

I get irritated when people use temperate region centric seasons here. Florida only has two season. Wet and Dry damn it!

[crab_apple]

Without the "I just want to die" winter season, how do you appreciate spring and summer? That's probably everything wrong with Florida right there. Lack of perspective. Next thing you know you're killing a guy at a stoplight over loud music.

[Florida Man]

It was a gas station dick! Actually I've been to that gas station many times when I lived in Jax.

[G?C]

Ahh, I absolutely love Dry season. I take the top and doors off my Jeep in October and don't have to worry about putting them on again until April. Wonderful, wonderful thing...

Granted, when I was back home for three weeks in July/August, we got about 2.5 feet of rain. That was pretty miserable...

[GILMORE?]

Even if there were no "issues" with Hillary - her chances would still be less-than-half

And likely to get worse before better. Obama approval ratings continuing to trend down, and economic data flattening.

[PapayaSF]

I agree, and I think her health is very questionable, too. The Democrats have an electoral college advantage these days (partly due to illegal immigration, thanks!), but my sense of the mood of centrists/independents is that they are not eager for another Democrat in the White House.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

The supposed electoral advantage is more wishful thinking than real, I suspect.
1) The Dems continue to alienate men (particularly blue collar workers), married women, and the middle class.

2) As Hispanics become increasingly assimilated, they won't uniformly vote Democrat. See, for example, Texas. Indeed, on the whole, Hispanics tend to be very socially conservative. The Dems will try to scare them into voting against Republicans and keeping them on the welfare plantation.

3) Repeating the black turnout that Barry commanded will be difficult for someone like Sanders or Clinton.

[kinnath]

Hillary will not draw historically high turn out from blacks.

Hillary will not draw historically high turn out from young voters, and young voters form 2008 and 2012 are disillusioned and will probably stay home.

Many middle-aged women (like my wife) hate her guts.

Hillary's only chance depends on extreme stupidity from the Republican Party.

[PapayaSF]

IMO this is all true.

[Mad Scientist]

That means her chances are pretty good.

[Gray Ghost]

As Hispanics become increasingly assimilated, they won't uniformly vote Democrat. See, for example, Texas.

I'm not sure that's right. Or, the Hispanic population in this country grows primarily through immigration, and not from reproduction from the native-born, and presumably, more assimilated. See this Pew Research exit poll data on Presidential elections. Regardless of who ended up winning, Latino voters pulled for the Dem side anywhere between 18 and 50 points. The last two elections, they went for Obama by 36 (2008) and 44 points (2012). Surely the assimilated and socially conservative could have found something to like in Romney or McCain vs Obama?

Maybe Texas Latinos are different? But I doubt it.

[Gray Ghost]

As to your 1st point, Bern, I'd agree, were it not for the spectacle of, for example, the United Mine Workers endorsing Obama, after he'd come out wanting to do more to restrict CO2 output. Like by closing coal-fired power plants.

On your 3rd point, I think Hillary's organization, ground game, and facility at shelling out "walking around money" will help with some of the issues surrounding getting black voters to turnout in anywhere near the numbers they did for Obama.

[Calidissident]

Nate Silver thinks the "Blue Wall" electoral college thing is a myth. He might not be right, but he made a pretty good case.

[PapayaSF]

Interesting. I do think Democrats have been trumpeting it as if it were a sure thing.

[GILMORE?]

Whistling, Graveyards

[PapayaSF]

An interesting article by Walter Kirn on the NSA.

[Jerryskids]

Google's data mines, presumably, exist merely to sell us products, but the government's models of our inner selves might be deployed to sell us stranger items. Policies. Programs. Maybe even wars.

Such concerns didn't strike me as farfetched, but I was reluctant to air them in mixed company.

Isn't this the "nudging" we've been hearing about? Tiny little pushes applied 24/7 keep the sheep fat and happy and safe and not at all interested in finding out why the shepherd cares so much about their well-being and what exactly goes into mutton stew.

[GILMORE?]

Syria = Everyone Shooting at Everyone Else

Obama knew it would be like this all along! "Told You So!"

[GILMORE?]

derp, first link

[GILMORE?]

Aerosmith frontman asks Trump campaign to stop using song

- Trump retorts: "Steven Tyler Resembles my Scrotum"

[Certified Public Asshat]

Plastic balls?

[DEG]

Trump retorts: "Steven Tyler Resembles my Scrotum"

If that's true, he might want to get a doctor to look at his scrotum.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Fact: Every Aerosmith song would be better if done by Guns 'n Roses.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Fact: Only if GnR has nothing to do with Axl Rose.

[Gray Ghost]

Especially now that Axl's been dancing with Mr. Coldstone for quite some time.

[Whatever Farm Animal Of War]

"Fact: Every Aerosmith song would be better if done by Guns 'n Roses."

It's this sort of silliness-masquerading-as-cleverness that has led to so many of today's problems. If Naomi Klein were a music critic, she would write things like this.

Well, not exactly, because both bands are made up of icky white males who objectify women and whatnot, but she would say the same sort of things about nice people like (respectively) Joni Mitchell and Judy Collins, or Cat Stevens and Natalie Merchant.

:-||

Seriously, just trying to imagine GnR trying to do Round and Round makes my butt pucker.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Trump's scrotum looks like a lady?

[GILMORE?]

So It Begins = NYC Restaurants Start To Ban Tipping

Something something fairness something

[Paul.]

Finally, something NYC does that I can get behind.

[GILMORE?]

You are a philistine who deserves food served cold.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

He deserves a beverage flavored with loogie.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Mr. Pink, is that you?

[Crusty Juggler]

Melissa Fleischut of the New York State Restaurant Association says other restaurants could be inspired to follow suit.

I would be stunned if this was true.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

People capable of providing exemplary service need to stop lording their privilege over those of us who are compelled to be dicks to our customers! It's about fairness!

[Tonio]

They can stop printing a tip amount line on electronic payment stubs, but they can't stop you from leaving money on the table.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Don't underestimate the NYC government's dedication to micromanaging your life

[jesse.in.mb]

You can't make me carry cash again!

[Riven]

I hear you. The only time I carry cash, it's for a very specific reason.

[Crusty Juggler]

A visit to the strip club?

[Riven]

Drugs, Juggler. Drugs.

[Crusty Juggler]

Do not be ashamed of giving cash to strippers. We have all been there. It happens; they are very convincing.

[Riven]

I've never given my own cash to strippers. When we were still married, I gave the significant other's cash to strippers...

And before anyone gets all uppity about it--he was there and gave it to me to give to them.

[Crusty Juggler]

You should only spend other peoples' money.

[jesse.in.mb]

Strippers?
Laundry?
Parking meters?

[Crusty Juggler]

Street prostitutes also only accept cash.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

They will also accept drugs. Or so I've been told.

[Rhywun]

The restaurateur says all 13 of his New York City eateries will be eliminating tipping and raising prices in an effort to create a fair wage system for employees.

So... when all of his wait staff quit and customers stop coming - Profit?

Dumb ass.

[brady949]

I self-banned tipping already anyway.

[GILMORE?]

In related Trumpery = "Bo Bergdahl Should Have Been Executed"

not clear what crime was - providing blowjobs to enemy?

[PapayaSF]

Desertion.

[Rasilio]

In theory desertion in the face of the enemy which "could" get one the death penalty but even on a more open and shut case I really don't see it happening today.

WAY too much of a PR nightmare when you can just give him 20 years in prison and make sure he doesn't survive with an ounce of sanity because he's been locked in solitatry all that time

[PapayaSF]

Even giving him prison conflicts with the official narrative that he was worth trading five terrorists for. He'll get a slap on the wrist, or a pardon on Obama's last day.

[Homple]

They firingsquadded Eddie Slovik for less, (Slovik didn't desert to the enemy) but that was then.

[Los Doyers]

Say hello to English's newest pronoun: ze.

[JW]

Do you know who else said ze?

[Rich]

The Knights Who Say "Ze"?

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

*narrows gaze*

I'll show ze...

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Aw come on, that's two Futurama references in one.

I'll just leave.

[lap83]

Hercule Poirot?

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Ze French!

[Los Doyers]

Okay take a nap ZEN FIRE ZE MEESILES

[Rich]

It's been an article for some time: "Please, look at ze map."

[kbolino]

In other "failed hippie plans" news, everybody will speaking Esperanto very soon.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

No.

[GILMORE?]

Who is this John McWhorter? I've never heard of him. Surely he is someone important whose opinion is to be taken very seriously.

" I would hope that pronouns like "ze" would not be imposed with the knuckle-rapping and contemptuous indignation with which the Billy and I rule has been promulgated. However, there is room for presenting "ze" as a matter not of fashion, but of basic civility -- people must think of new pronouns as the proper thing to do, not as a stunt."

"Must" they?

Well, that's probably the thought of a very-intelligent person.... If you assume that something relevant to less than half of one percent of the population will have the social influence to enforce a behavioral norm.

[PapayaSF]

Google him. He's interesting. A self-described liberal Democrat, but he's also at the Manhattan Institute and is not always on the Democratic plantation on the issues.

[GILMORE?]

I think he wrote a takedown of Ta Nehi Coats which was much commented upon as being all, "Oh no you dit-int?"

[Rhywun]

He is a linguist who writes some political commentary. And to be honest, I've never read anything from him (and I've read a fair amount) that could be considered "liberal Democrat".

[PapayaSF]

That said, I am becoming increasingly annoyed at the leftist tactic of redefining "basic civility" as "changing language to support our agenda." Is there any way libertarians can use that tool, too? Or counteract it in some way?

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

These people read 1984 as a how-to manual

[GILMORE?]

I was joking

someone not long ago quipped that "not having heard of John McWhorter" was a sign of cultural inferiority.

[PapayaSF]

A "whoosh* for me on that one, then.

[jesse.in.mb]

I thought it was more of a "Hey, who does this McWhorter think he is!?" and people responded "a pretty notable figure in his field, actually."

[GILMORE?]

Naturally someone like you would think that.

[jesse.in.mb]

I suppose I do belong to the category: "people waiting for Los Doyers to return his copy of Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue"

So there's that.

[Los Doyers]

Hey! Private property is theft.

[Rhywun]

"Must" they?

Re-read what he wrote:

people must think of new pronouns as the proper thing to do, not as a stunt.

He is not telling you to do anything.

[Notorious UGCC]

Ze walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and zir eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er zir face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

[Notorious UGCC]

*zir* aspect and zir eyes

[Notorious UGCC]

Oh, ze doth teach the torches to burn bright!
It seems ze hangs upon the cheek of night
[this line has been deleted for offensiveness]
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows
As yonder entity o'er zie fellows shows.
The measure done, I'll watch zir place of stand,
And, touching ze's, make bless?d my rude hand.
Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

[Notorious UGCC]

Individual with inner beauty, walkin' down the street
Individual with inner beauty the kind I like to meet
Individual with inner beauty I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could blog on Jezebel as good as you, mercy

Individual with inner beauty won't you pardon me
Individual with inner beauty I couldn't help but see
Individual with inner beauty that it really doesn't matter how you look
Are you PC just like me?

[Mike Laursen]

Did potential aggressor ze get enthusiastic and affirmative consent to touch potential victim ze's hand?

[Paul.]

We are opening up to the idea that binary conceptions of gender are unnecessarily rigid and don't correspond to the self-image of a great many people, and even that people's sense of their gender may not correspond to their biological sex.

Like I said, all fun and games on the Tweetdeck, but wait until someone wants a government goody based on their personal gender re-assignment.

However, there is room for presenting "ze" as a matter not of fashion, but of basic civility -- people must think of new pronouns as the proper thing to do, not as a stunt.

THAT'S WHY IT'S P.C. FOR ME *weew weew* AND YOU!

[Riven]

A binary system doesn't correspond to the self-image of a great many people, perhaps... But that's not going to stop me from rating everyone everywhere on a scale from 0 to 1, whole numbers only.
0=WNB
1=WB

[AlmightyJB]

Would not blow? Would blow?

[Riven]

Close. Bang. I mean, I can't blow ladies, can I?

[AlmightyJB]

Don't want no more of the crying game

[Riven]

I mean... maybe if it was Kate Hudson...

I can't post the picture because I don't want to search for it on a work computer... but just google her name and leotard. You'll see what I mean.

[AlmightyJB]

Google Kate Hudson Leotard. Don't have to ask me twice

[RBS]

Good lord.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Let me help with that.

[Riven]

Many thanks, Francisco!

[Rasilio]

" the idea that binary conceptions of gender are unnecessarily rigid and don't correspond to the self-image of a great many people"

The keep fucking saying that but it doesn't mean what they think it means.

The entire fucking GLBTQBBQWTF spectrum exists within a tiny slice of about 3 - 5% of the population, within that small group trannies make up about 5% of the total and a very significant number of ostensible trannies would be more properly classified as just fucking crazy unstable individuals who have had their delusions indulged for far too long than someone with a true body dismorphic disorder.

No, the number of people who DON"T fit nicely and neatly into a binary gender paradigm is somewhere around 1/100th of 1% of the population and absolutely nowhere near enough to waste time policing language and changing entire systems to accommodate them. You could literally fit the entire US population of people who don't fit neatly into binary gender systems into Yankee stadium and it wouldn't even be a sell out.

[Rhywun]

nowhere near enough to waste time policing language and changing entire systems to accommodate them

Nobody is calling for this, certainly not the author.

However, you are correct that "ze" or even "they" is unlikely to spontaneously gain favor as the author describes, simply due to the numbers.

[Florida Man]

I like Ze for when you don't want to specify a gender. Like instead of saying/typing him/her you say/type Zer. I doubt it will catch on though.

[Rhywun]

We already have "they" for that, as McWhorter mentioned. I try to avoid it because it doesn't sound right to me but even I get caught using it. Unfortunately, using the proper "he/him" in this circumstance is now evidence that I'm a cishet rapist shitlord.

[Florida Man]

I don't care what people think, I just like efficiency and accuracy. They is plural and not applicable to an individual.

[GILMORE?]

Y'all (or "Youse") is a little uptight

[GILMORE?]

Interesting = McWhorter wrote a similar column for TNR, and seems to come to different conclusion entirely ; summarized in the title, Gender-Neutral Pronouns Will Never Replace He & She =

"The latest attempt is ze, proposed by LGBT people who seek a pronoun that doesn't shore up conventional assumptions of gender identity.

Ze is a great idea in itself, but that it is too easily confusable with he in casual speech?The problem is ze doesn't live close enough?is only the beginning of the problem. Ze, like co, hesh and thon (from "that one," a nineteenth-century attempt), can't truly catch on. In language there are open-class and closed-class words.

Open-class ones, such as nouns and verbs, can be made up, or used in brand new ways, as new things and actions arise in the course of human affairs. Closed-class words are much harder to create out of thin air. They aren't things or actions, but tools to show the relationships between them. For example, prepositions situate things in space and time. Note that you can't make one up, such as one that describes something being airborne instead of on the ground. The plane is gunch the air?cute, but hopeless. "

he goes on to say the "Ze, Zir", B.S. is basically "cute, but futile". which isn't what i was getting out the DB piece at all.

[Winston]

So Who is More Delusional: Gillespie in his libertarian moment spiel or German Communists in 1932?

[Paul.]

Hitler?

[Certified Public Asshat]

Playboy is dropping nudity.

#libertarianmoment

[AlmightyJB]

Meh. Not like they could compete with the internet.

[Mickey Rat]

Can they compete in the (diminished) niche with Esquire and Maxim?

[PapayaSF]

But from what I can tell, not the Playmate of the Month. So maybe they will get even hotter women who would not pose nude...?

[AlmightyJB]

Trump fans or Clinton fans or Saunders fans.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Yes.

[lap83]

At least we haven't seen a Millenial poll in awhile, and I can't even remember the last time I heard about Lou Reed. I hope he's doing ok.

[AlmightyJB]

Browns just named him starting QB for Sunday.

[Winston]

Reason is talking quite a bit about how the Dems have a supposedly libertarian policy on immigration. Which strikes me as odd since they support immigration because they want to give them free shit and to get votes. Which isn't different for Tony Blair's immigration policy. Oh and Stalin wanted Russians to settle in the Ukraine, Baltics and the Caucases for similar reasons too. And Mao wanted Chinese to settle in Tibet.

[kbolino]

Saying that the Democrats hold a libertarian position on immigration is kind of like saying that Communists hold a libertarian position on freedom of speech. With laser-guided obtuseness aimed in just the right direction, everybody can seem quite libertarian.

[Winston]

Or that ISIS and the Taliban hold libertarian views since they too oppose US Foreign policy, US-backed dictators and hate the Cops.

[AlmightyJB]

Plus they're pro-immigration. Come fight with them or go blow up America.

[Winston]

They also oppose government-funded artifacts of racist slaveowning cultures.

[PapayaSF]

Yes. If there were millions of white South African conservatives flooding across the Rio Grande, Hillary and Sanders would be advocating a wall.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

"New photos of Jupiter taken by the Hubble telescope show the Great Red Spot turning orange and shrinking at a faster rate than normal."

Nobody needs eight or nine planets anyway.

[Winston]

But what does it self-identify as?

[AlmightyJB]

They all want to be Saturn cause she's so pretty.

[Riven]

God liked it, so he put a ring on it.

[AlmightyJB]

Nice:)

[Rhywun]

Uranus has rings too.

[Riven]

Don't even get me started.

[Old Man With Candy]

Riven, have you been using the Bright Rings I sent you?

[Riven]

Faithfully.

How long before I start to see the lightening?

[Mad Scientist]

How closely are you looking?

[Riven]

I take pics on my cellphone to uh... review in detail...at my leisure.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That's from not wiping properly.

[Old Man With Candy]

I kept telling her, "Front to back, front to back!" but kids these days just don't listen.

[Sevo]

"New photos of Jupiter taken by the Hubble telescope show the Great Red Spot turning orange and shrinking at a faster rate than normal."

Proof of Climate Change, right?
(am I late again?)

[Sevo]

Yes, VERY late.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Apparently the old urban myth is true. If you flash your high beams at a member of a violent street gang, you may end up dead.

[Paul.]

But the two available videos show that Guilford was shot after he was already laying on his stomach. And after he had already been tased, which Frost later claimed, he had to do because the teen was looking back at him with an expression that he was going to suddenly bolt up and attack them.

Holy fucking fucknuts on a saltine cracker!

[Episiarch]

That is like the ne plus ultra example of how encountering the wrong cop on the wrong day can literally kill you.

[Griffin3]

I've got two kids, already driving, will be legal in 4 years, the oldest one. I first saw this story back in March, have been scanning google news for it ever since. Watched the investigative committee clear, etc. If it happened to one of my kids, I would not stop until every damn collaborator in the Eaton Co Sheriff's Dept was room temperature. Is it at all possible that any of these badged thugs will realize they have crossed the line, without having to put an entire department on slabs?

Would anyone in this message board vote to convict me, besides disagreeing with the extent of my retribution?

[Paul.]

"When Mr. Guilford started to make the phone call, Sgt. Frost suspected that he may be calling somebody to come help him," the report said. "He decided for his own safety that it was necessary to act immediately to affect the arrest and prevent the driver from making a phone call in case he was attempting to call someone else that might arrive and become a threat to Sgt. Frost."

Holy Jesus tapdancing tittyfucking Christ!

[Episiarch]

Be careful, Paul, this one is a doozy. Reading the whole thing can be dangerous for your sanity. That he was able to get away with this defies belief. Or not, after all we've seen.

[Crusty Juggler]

He had him pulled over for over an hour? Everything about the cop's story is so strange.

[Paul.]

At 5:37, Guilford can be heard screaming as if in pain.

At 5:38, the scream ends, but at least two more gunshots are fired as a car can be heard whizzing by.

Holy motherfucking donkey show in Juarez!

[Riven]

Well that was depressing.

So the cop pulled the kid over for flashing him, escalated the situation, and then tased and shot him. Damn.

[Paul.]

If the kid hadn't flashed the cop, he'd still be alive.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

It's just common sense. Don't flash a driver that could kill you.

[Florida Man]

I hope someone will avenge me if some dickless piece of shit ever pulls my card. Not that I'll know it, but fuck, somethings need to be evened out.

[Riven]

We'll just even the odds

[Mickey Rat]

I wish more people thought that flashing their highbeams at other people would result in their imminent demise.

[Mickey Rat]

...but that is insane.

[Florida Man]

WTF? I've flashed and been flashed. It's a friendly reminder that you have your high beams on, kindly turn them down. If you get butt hurt over that, seek counseling.

[Mickey Rat]

It was more recently getting flashed by someone who came up behind me while I was passing a semi.

[Mickey Rat]

...I also had not gotten to why the kid flashed his lights before I made that comment.

[Paul.]

Yeah, in the Southwest, that's a standard method of communication.

It either means, "lower your fucking brights, grandma!" or "radar trap down the roads". Although in the later, we usually flash the lights on and off, not high-low.

[Paul.]

latter.

[Riven]

I'm going to remember that.

Most of the flashing around here is for people with their brights on (high-low) or deer sighting. That one could be any combination of brake lights and on-off, etc.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

On the night of February 28, 2015, a 17-year-old male named Deven Guilford flashed his high beams at a Michigan law enforcement officer, claiming the cop was blinding him with his own high beams.

That prompted Eaton County Sheriff's Sergeant Jonathan Frost to pull the teenager over, who informed Guilford that he was the third person he had pulled over that night for the same thing, even though it is not illegal to momentarily flash high beams at another car, even if it happens to be a cop.

Frost informed Guilford that he was driving a new patrol car with high-intensity headlights, so he not driving with his high beams on.

So, what, the cop is just really insecure about his new car?

"EXCUSE ME SIR, BUT THAT IS THE SET BRIGHTNESS ON MY HEADLIGHTS! DO NOT CONDESCEND TO ME AS IF I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE, SIR."

Then he tases the kid for giving him a shit look. You've got a gun, dude; how can you be that insecure?

[Riven]

I'm convinced that there must be a sign somewhere that says "You must be *this* insecure to ride The Thin Blue Line."

[Florida Man]

I assume they all have baby dicks.

[Mickey Rat]

The high intensity lights are blinding, especially on an unlit road. It seems to be a serious design flaw.

[CatoTheChipper]

That is what a police state looks like.

In 1912, Germany was one of the most cultured and educated countries in the world. Very little seemed to threaten its future prospects. Twenty years later Germany was primed to become a horrific police state.

The same could be said of the US in 1995.

Seriously, I lived for six years in a totalitarian police state. I've spent at least another year traveling about in countries that were either under martial law or police states. None of them had cops as threatening to me personally as American cops.

[Winston]

I keep reading about a "carbon-free" future. How exactly is that supposed to be accomplished?

[AlmightyJB]

Silicone based life forms.

[Juice]

So everything will be like Southern California?

[PapayaSF]

It reminds me of the stupid signs in Berkeley declaring it a "Nuclear-free zone." Leave all your sub-atomic particles at the door!

[Sevo]

Davis had a similar sign off I-80 for years. Dunno if it's still there or someone recognized the stupidity of the claim.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Going back to pre-industrial society?

[CatoTheChipper]

Homo erectus began using fire over a million years ago.

Virtually all of combustible materials since then have been carbon-based. So we're really talking about going back to a prehistoric time before homo sapiens evolved.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Annihilating all forms of life?

[SugarFree]

Your goddamn incessant whining is used an alternative fuel.

[Winston]

Where's my cheese then? I like Gorgonzola.

[Old Man With Candy]

I hope you brought Amarone.

[lap83]

Maybe free in the sense that the government will finally subsidize carbon so the rich aren't hoarding it all and the poor can have it too

[Sevo]

"Climate scientists say new research suggests springtime could come to the United States three weeks earlier than normal by the end of the century."

So, it'll be a bit warmer a bit earlier, maybe?
Hmm, there's a brave prediction.

[AlmightyJB]

If it's 3 weeks later instead they would still claim they were right about the cause.

[Akira]

"So, it'll be a bit warmer a bit earlier, maybe?"

Yes, it will be a bit warmer earlier in the year! In the rapid timeframe of 75 years!! Can you imagine the horror?

This is why the government must Do Something?.

[Winston]

Jeremy Corbyn supports Immigration and Gay Marriage. Is he evidence of Labour's libertarian trend?

[AlmightyJB]

What about pot?

[Pan Zagloba]

Found this list, which says he is for Legal Pot.

So total Libertarian! Woo!

[Florida Man]

I am slowly going insane (more insaner) doing this stupid notary public education. They make you spend 23 minutes per section on something that takes 5 minutes. Stupid Governor's office.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Yeah, but just think of the power you will wield when you've finished

[Florida Man]

My Stamp hand will indeed be mighty.

[RBS]

What? I just mailed our Secretary of State a check.

[Florida Man]

In FL it's a 3 hour course, and you better fucking spend three hours doing it. My cousin asked me to officiate his wedding and I refused to become a priest, so this is my only option.

[Paul.]

Think of it this way, you got roped into a 3 hour bullshit course to help your brother give up his hopes and dreams.

[Florida Man]

He and His future wife can't afford a Disney wedding, so I'm going to marry them in the park officially and then later they are going to do the family and party wedding. I told him not to do it, but he doesn't plan on making enough money to be worth stealing. I can't say it's a bad plan. The harder you work and the more you make, the more you have to lose.

[Riven]

I think that's mighty white of you, FM, doing that for your brother.

And I'd like to say that not all females will take half of everything you own when they leave. I didn't, for example.

[Paul.]

And I'd like to say that not all females will take half of everything you own when they leave. I didn't, for example.

You took it all, didn't you? Didn't you?

[Riven]

You got me, Paul!

Actually, I'd say material possessions-wise, he probably came out on top. I ended up giving him my '64 Mustang Coupe because it needs some serious restoration, and I have neither the skill nor the means to acquire the skill it would require. And I didn't make any claim on the house that he had never lived in without me, or any of the various toys he bought while we were married. Just wouldn't have seemed right to me.

[Florida Man]

I don't think most women are shrill harpies. The ones who are ruin it for the decent ones.

[RBS]

I have male clients that are just, if not more, shrill as your stereotypical woman seeking a divorce.

[Paul.]

I have male clients

Prostitution shouldn't be a crime. Just sayin'.

[RBS]

The attorney joke writes itself.

[Paul.]

No one should do the Disney wedding. There's nothing like continuing to pay that off after the divorce.

[Florida Man]

I respect their frugality. They are dubbing it the "Guerilla Wedding" since it isn't sanctioned by the mouse. I can't wait to see if we get harassed or if they respect the ceremony.

[Mad Scientist]

If you make a million dollars a year and she gets half, you're going be OK. But if you only make $30,000 a year....

[Florida Man]

They do literally the same job and don't plan on having children. If the judge fucks him in a divorce it proves family court is just there to smash penises.

[RBS]

I had a client get her ovaries smashed this week (and her attorney lectured). But her behavior was pretty bad.

[Paul.]

I had a client get her ovaries smashed this week (and her attorney lectured). But her behavior was pretty bad.

I've saw a case where the ex-wife committed a daylight felony by kidnapping the kid after a clear custody arrangement was in place. And nothing else happened.

[Riven]

It's not that bad. I just went through the state of Montana's notary public education--you can mostly just let it run in the background while you cruise around in another monitor.

[Florida Man]

That's why I'm here Milady. Also I'm on my 5th Rye. I'm trying to see how drunk I can get and still pass a state exam.

[Riven]

Holy crap--they have an exam, too??

All I had to do was sit through the online education--and bless their hearts, they tried to make it entertaining--get a surety bond, get a form notarized saying that I really am who I say I am and I do want to be a notary, and then send the whole passal of paperwork in to the state. Two weeks later, I have the certificate here in my office, and now I'm just waiting on the stamp and log.

I'm not looking forward to getting my series 7 and 66 T_T No way it will be that easy.

[RBS]

Now that I think about it, I was supposed to read the Manual before I sent in my application. Whoops.

[Riven]

Lol... I'm actually going to have to read the handbook a little more closely before I start notarizing things, truly.

[Florida Man]

Case Study ? Identification

Kevin Costner came into a local bank to have his signature notarized on a contract between him and his agent. Julia, the notary and a faithful fan of Kevin Costner, was star-struck upon meeting him.

Kevin apologized when he explained that he accidentally left his wallet containing his identification in his dressing room on the set.

Julia decided that she could state that she personally knew Kevin, since she had seen all his movies, and she checked "personally known" in the notarial certificate.

Julia completed the notarization, got Kevin's autograph on a scrap of paper, and screamed with excitement after Kevin left.

Should Julia have notarized Kevin's signature without requiring identification?

NO !

Now, for the real story . . .

Kevin Costner disagreed with his agent on the agent's proposed fee on the new contract they were negotiating, and Kevin refused to sign the contract.

The agent forged Kevin's signature on the contract and hired a "look-alike" to present the document for notarization.

Poor Kevin is now in court fighting with his agent and Julia has been subpoenaed to testify. Julia is scared to death, embarrassed at her error, and now knows that her Kevin Costner autograph is a fake!

Be careful when you state that you "personally know" someone. This story is purely fictional, but could actually happen to you if you aren't careful. Our apologies to Mr. Costner and his agent.

[GILMORE?]

" This story is purely fictional"

Tatanka

[Florida Man]

I must have a pretty good buzz going. I laughed way too hard at this.

[GILMORE?]

Jim Webb = Does Not Impress Millenials With His "I Once Killed A Gook In 'Nam" Stories

[paranoid android]

One wonders what their opinion must be of John Kerry.

[Juice]

http://www.thelocal.it/2015101.....-top-court

In Italy there's no such thing as NSFW!

[Winston]

Is this Italy's Libertarian Moment?

[Tonio]

NPR just downgraded the Clinton email scandal to a "controversy" in Mara Liasson's report on Tuesday's debate.

[kbolino]

Is the controversy over which set of felonies she should already have been charged with? I could see some room for debate there.

[Juice]

America is tired of hearing about your damned felonies!

[Random Axe Of Kindness]

Thought you guys would like this email received from the University of North Dakota related to this "incident."

http://www.valleynewslive.com/.....=phone&c=y

Update on August 30 campus incident

We would like to provide you with the following update regarding a recent reported incident on campus. While it is not typical for the University to respond while an investigation is ongoing, we hope this update addresses some of the questions and concerns that have been raised.

As you may recall, on September 2, a statement was shared with the campus community regarding an incident that was reported to have occurred at a UND fraternity the previous weekend.

The Grand Forks Police Department, in cooperation with the UND Police Department, conducted an investigation of the incident. Upon review of the police reports, the State's Attorney's Office released a statement on Thursday, October 8, reporting that no criminal charges were to be filed by their office and that, in fact, the alleged victim had provided false information.

At this point we are waiting for law enforcement officials to release all of the records to UND so that UND can conduct its own review of the information according to federal Title IX guidelines and the UND Code of Student Life.
(Truncated for space)

[Old Man With Candy]

Sexual assault in North Dakota usually involves elk.

[GILMORE?]

i'd have guessed it was more of a "meth" and "oil-rigger" thing.

[Old Man With Candy]

Is "rigger" a racist dog whistle?

[GILMORE?]

I had a racist friend once who named his cat "Tigger"

[PapayaSF]

One I learned recently is "Mondays." As in: "Nobody likes Mondays!"

[Old Man With Candy]

Black cat?

[GILMORE?]

No, those you call "Tibbs"

[AlmightyJB]

Our cat was named Tigger

[GILMORE?]

Your cat probably forsook its slave name and referred to itself as "Meow X"

[Paul.]

"This is something Israelis understand, appreciate and feel secure with," the mayor told the Associated Press. "In America and in Europe, if you see civilians carry guns you get scared. In Israel, it's exactly the opposite."

Huh.

[lap83]

The guns get scared if they see you carry civilians?

[Rockabilly]

I had no idea Syria was part of the USA.

Thank Karl Marx we have WarBama as president.

[Sanjuro Tsubaki]

Jupiter losing its red spot? Probably due to climate change! Damn those fossil fuels!

[Chaucer]

I live in SC and vehemently disagree with the Trump link. He is the worst hope.

[Cytotoxic]

Just read Gillespie's shroom visions version of the Dem debate as he saw it, which of course devolved into a rant about Republicans (did his report on the GOP debate devolve into a rant about the Dems). Can someone please subscribe Nick some lithium and then fire him from Reason? He has to go. Krayewski and Richman too if they want my donations and respectability.