A.M. Links: Oregon Shooting, Trump Says He'll Drop Out 'If I Tank' in Polls, Russian Air Raids Hit Syria

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  • Credit: Todd Kranin

    "The man killed by police on Thursday after he fatally shot nine people at a community college in southern Oregon was a nervy 26-year-old who lived close to the campus and described himself as shy, according to neighbors, media and online reports."

  • Donald Trump says he will leave the 2016 presidential race "if I tank" in the polls.
  • According to a Vatican spokesman, the Pope's meeting with anti-gay marriage Kentucky clerk Kim Davis "should not be considered a form of support of her position in all of its particular and complex aspects."
  • Hillary Clinton will appear on Saturday Night Live this weekend.

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Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Just a thought not a sermon

    98) So the Congress allowed the Land and Water Conservation Fund to expire yesterday. My astonishment that the federal government eliminated a program is immense?and the same season the Ex-Im Bank went as well! Predictably, there’s a lot of grumbling on liberal sites about this (my link above is to Slate, for instance). And I’ll admit even as a libertarian, this Conservation Fund is pretty far down the list of offensive programs.

    But after 51 years, isn’t there a good case that this fund has done its job? It was designed to provide money for acquiring land for conservation, and over the years has contributed to preserving national parks, Civil War sites, and critical eco-systems. And now we’ve done it?those lands are set aside. Why should something like this exist forever? I just wish we could eliminate other programs after their useful life is finished.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly

      Hello.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        I’m glad you’re here, Rufus, I was beginning to think I was in a Twilight Zone episode.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          Oh, stick around. It’ll go Bizarro soon enough.

          1. Lord Humungus

            that’s why I keep coming back

        2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

          Spoilers: It’s a cookbook. Bill Shatner’s on a no-fly list. He broke his glasses. Ellie Mae is considered ugly in pig world. Look out for Talking Tina. That Lost in Space kid was a real asshole when he was six. Samantha’s Mom is a giant.

      2. Dark Lord of the wood chipper

        Morning.

    2. Illocust

      Ah, that explains the Slate article I saw about national parks yesterday. Good that this went down. Maybe along with the Ex-Im Bank this will be the start of a trend of shutting down old organizations that have long outlived their purposes.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Next up the National Helium Reserve? National Raisin Reserve? The Wool and Mohair Subsidy? Or, dare we dream, the National Sugar Subsidy?

        1. Tonio

          If we put all that helium on the open market the Kaiser would buy it and his zeppelins would no longer explode.

          1. robc

            Iranians will process out the He3 and beat us to fusion!

          2. Zeppelins? All it takes is one spark and it will blow to shit, Sherlock.

        2. gaijin

          Unfortunately, none of the ag subsidies will be touched…ever

        3. ant1sthenes

          Isn’t Helium useful for fusion? We’ll be kicking ourselves in 20 years if we get rid of that one.

          1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

            There’s a lot of helium on the sun, we’ll just go up there and mine it.

            1. A lot of fusion, too, so why should we make it here?

              1. Enough About Woodchippers

                why should we make it here?

                Because if we make it here, we can make it anywhere.

                1. NO! Stop that!

                  I am calling for a gaze narrow.

                2. *hearty applause*

              2. Sapient Mulch

                Yeah, we could string giant power cables with spaceships, but they’d have to go at night so it wouldn’t be too hot.

      2. Trump-o-Matic 5000

        They’ll just come up with newer, uselesser programs

        1. Illocust

          They’ll do that either way, so it’s still a net positive to get rid of old ones.

    3. The argument for keeping the fund was for maintenance on the lands. The money that went into the LWCF will now go into the Treasury’s general fund.

      1. CampingInYourPark

        They have dirt raking crews or what?

        1. They have dirt raking crews or what?

          No idea. I think some of the lands that were purchased are recreational areas so they have buildings and things on them.

          the main emphases of the fund are recreation and the protection of national natural treasures in the forms of parks and protected forest and wildlife areas…developed project sites including such popular recreational areas as Harper’s Ferry in West Virginia, California’s Big Sur Coast, and the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem in Montana, helped maintain Yellowstone National Park, and helped to build and maintain “thousands of local playgrounds, soccer fields, and baseball diamonds

          The above is from wiki. I know I have seen lots of articles from outdoor groups about how it’s going to be horrible once the money stops flowing into the fund.

  2. Just a thought not a sermon

    Geez, Fisty, you taking the day off?

    1. People have the gall to be in my office.

      1. gaijin

        I read that as having the gall to be in ‘your orifice’.

        1. THAT’S YOUR ISSUE NOT MINE.

          1. gaijin

            yes,it certainly is

            1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

              Are you in his orifice, too?

      2. Rufus J. Firefly

        Fist in his office. Walls plastered with ex-Penguins players including Rob Brown:

        ‘There’s nothing I can do.’

        /puts feet up on table. Hurls stress ball in the air repeatedly.

        ‘Your kid is retarded. Not retarded retarded but pretty retarded.’

        1. I have among my bobbleheads a Mark Recchi statue that the Pens gave away the night before the team put him on waivers.

  3. Je Suis Reason (Fmr. AuH20)


    Russia continues to launch air raids in Syria.

    Putin, like the honey badger, don’t give a fuck

    1. Je Suis Reason (Fmr. AuH20)

      Ah, I shall have to make do with only having the gentleman’s first

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        “I’ll have the gentleman’s fist, please.”

    2. Drake

      Obama is already on the next thing – gun control that will never happen. Bomb away Vlad, the Middle East is yours now.

  4. invisible furry hand

    Kylie Minogue. Iggy Pop. Christmas album.

    1. Warty

      This is obviously a lie. You’re a liar. Now I know that I can never trust anything you ever say again. You liar.

      1. invisible furry hand

        You trusted me before this?

        1. Warty

          Only to break my heart.

      2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        The headline said it was real… But then I saw it was from some made up place full of poisonous creatures that couldn’t really exist.

  5. gaijin

    You know what else experienced shrinkage?

    Labor participation shrinkage continues…to 40-year lows

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I was in the pool!

    2. Shriek’s credibility?

      1. straffinrun

        I think I finally found Shriek’s real identity

        1. gaijin

          that dude is certainly living in a world of truths created in his mind

    3. Trump-o-Matic 5000

      Swimming Hitler?

  6. Illocust

    Do we know why the shooter claimed he did it, yet? Was it just straight mental break down, or did he have a cause?

    It’s really amazing how little information we have on this guy compared to other recent shootings. Someone somewhere is doing their job very well.

    1. Restoras

      Has it been 24 hours yet?

      1. Illocust

        It may just be that the last guy was part of the media, so there were literally reporters with first hand knowledge about what was going on. Actually, that’s probably exactly it.

    2. gaijin

      You know, I sort of think Gun control is Obama’s version of Reagan’s abortion rhetoric…outrage, appeal to the base…nothing happens. Just a thought…not a sermon 😉

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        That was pretty good. You should start numbering ’em.

      2. Illocust

        I think the jump to gun control before we even know if the shooter is dead or alive actually backfired this time. I read a Slate article yesterday, where they actually complimented Fox on not reporting rumors and chastised MSNBC for speculating on a gun control tangent for hours on end. The gun grabbers are starting to disgust people with how quickly they try to turn things political.

      3. The reason I don’t take a lot of this talk serious is that, when challenged to follow through, they find some other shiny thing or a new Goldstein-do-joor.

        My challenge: use the extremest, gun-nutty, NRA single-issue maximalist approach. If you are not 100% on Team Gun Grabber – you are dead to them and they will crush you like a bug. Yes, that means some D Team senators and congressmen in the mid-west and west, who are wishy-washy on the gun grabbin’, will have to go down – it’s for a holy cause.

        They might have to send campaign support to Republicans who sign up to the Cause – even support people who aren’t on Team Abortion or Team Climate!

        Are the gun grabbers ready to do that for the Holy Cause?

        1. gaijin

          Are the gun grabbers ready to do that for the Holy Cause?

          A few would no doubt…but for those who identify with the current Team D lineup, there are just so many holy causes…and so little mind.

    3. Drake

      Something about shooting Christians. As his first name is Christopher he certainly wasn’t born a Muslim. More likely some kind of butt-hurt liberal like the last one who shot the reporter.

      1. Illocust

        You’re the second commenter I’ve heard mention that. Is there actually an article mentioning something like that, or is it just commenter telephone.

        1. Drake

          Unfortunately there have been too many of these and I have been able to avoid all the reporting. So trends emerge and we all place our bets.

        2. Mr. Flanders

          Eye witnesses said that he walked into a classroom, asked Christians to stand up, and started killing them.

          1. Illocust

            Do you know where you read this?

            1. gaijin

              WaPo for one:

              shooter said to have singled out christians-for-killing

              1. Gun control and religion, together!

              2. Illocust

                Thank you! After these shootings there are always rumors swirling about started by some troll or other, so I try to at least get to an article before repeating.

          2. Drake

            I wonder why nobody shot back?

            1. I assume it was a gun free zone, like most campuses are.

              1. Zaytsev

                It was.

      2. If it’s the guy they’re reporting, then he is some kind of weirdo occultist. The dating profile people found said he followed the ‘left hand path.’

        We might have a legitimately crazy satanist murderer, boys!

        1. Tonio

          “I’ll give you a satanic panic.”

          1. Lord Humungus

            +1 Dr. Frankfurter

            1. Frank-en-furter it’s all over! Your mission’s a failure, your lifestyle’s too extreme. I’m your new commander, you now are my prisoner. We return to Transylvania. Prepare the transit beam!

              1. Tonio

                You realize that Sug ghost wrote that script, right?

        2. Just say Nikki

          And the NYT is reporting he was into the IRA.

          1. MetalBard

            Maybe someone should contact the Sons of Anarchy, they have all the IRA connections.

            1. They’re tight with original IRA.

          2. JB posted this last night, which are photos from the murderer’s myspace page. They are just photos of him, and separate photos of the IRA, of which whom he was apparently a fanboi.

            1. Drake

              Weren’t they sorta Catholic? Which is almost Christian.

              1. Zaytsev

                The IRA was Maoist. Getting the limeys out of Ireland was only the first phase of their glorious revolution.

                1. Lee G

                  Are you saying the IRA was politically Maoist or that they used Maoist tactics against the Brits? Because I’m aware of the latter, but the former doesn’t sound correct to me.

            2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

              I don’t know about anyone else, but that appears to me to be a whole new way to fuck up a link.

  7. Slammer

    Hillary Clinton will appear on Saturday Night Live this weekend.

    Sounds hilarious! Should be AWESOME! Wouldn’t miss it for ANYTHING!

    1. It will most surely not be a stiff and awkward performance.

      1. straffinrun

        Hopefully they bring back Jon Lovitz.

      2. gaijin

        Wasn’t she just on SNL in the last year?

        1. straffinrun

          Skaggy Narcissist Liars?

      3. egould310

        Wooden and laconic.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly

      If Lorne Michaels had any real balls and didn’t want to think SNL was in the bag for Democrats or left-wing garbage, he would have brought Sarah Palin on.

      I assume he never asked of course.

      1. Trump-o-Matic 5000

        If Lorne Michaels had any real balls and didn’t want to think SNL was in the bag for Democrats or left-wing garbage

        Objection! Calls for speculation.

      2. Idle Hands

        that actually happened already in 2008 when Palin was actually relevant. She made an appearance in october.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          Then I retract it!

          Thanks.

  8. invisible furry hand

    Terrence Howard is not insane

    “This is the last century that our children will ever have been taught that one times one is one,” he says. “They won’t have to grow up in ignorance. Twenty years from now, they’ll know that one times one equals two. We’re about to show a new truth. The true universal math. And the proof is in these pieces. I have created the pieces that make up the motion of the universe. We work on them about 17 hours a day. She cuts and puts on the crystals. I do the main work of soldering them together. They tell the truth from within.”

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      “We work on them about 17 hours a day. She cuts and puts on the crystals.”

      Yeah, I heard about this. Strangely, he appears to have recently become separated from his wife. I can’t imagine why.

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)

        So… what I get from this is that Terence’s uncles were named Moe, Shemp, and Curly.

    2. Je Suis Reason (Fmr. AuH20)

      He sounds like he’s hung out with Will Smith’s kids a bit too long

      JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times ? it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think.

      1. gaijin

        sounds like mediocre minds mastrubating

        1. SugarFree

          Yeah. The kind of Philosophy 101 shit you hear out of the kid that always comes to class high. He disappears one day and is never heard from again.

          1. straffinrun

            *Vows to one finish that DeVry’s course and shuffles away*

          2. GILMORE?

            There are a not-insubstantial number of people for whom digesting any kind of philosophy whatsoever is merely a means for self-aggrandizement and posturing above their fellow man as an “enlightened”, superior being.

            Unsurprisingly, these people often become enamored of Marxism, for its highly specialized language/terminology, and the abstruse, unreadable texts. Its ‘complexity’ and incoherence is its appeal – the idea of being able to recite babble no one else understands is far more socially-useful than actually being able to casually reference Plato.

      2. Just a thought not a sermon

        What’s the opposite of a chicken salad on rye, Jaden?

        1. SugarFree

          Pastrami on a pretzel bun. Obviously.

        2. PBR Streetgang

          What’s the opposite of basketball? Women’s basketball m.

        3. Pork roll egg and cheese on a kaiser bun.

          1. Citizen X

            Pork roll egg and cheese on a kaiser bun?

            1. That’s a bingo.

          2. Whahappan?

            Just had that this morning! (Although it was a potato roll.)

      3. Rufus J. Firefly

        What’s the opposite of an apple?

        The goo-shit oozing from one’s ears?

        1. Applesauce, bitch.

    3. SugarFree

      In his head, he’s now six years old, standing in front of a different mirror, in Cleveland, in the ghetto, just a little light-skinned black kid with his daddy, Tyrone, right next to him. His daddy who three years ago spent 11 months in prison for stabbing a man to death while waiting in line to see a department-store Santa. Everyone had children there. Little Terrence’s coat was splattered with blood. But now his daddy was here and saying to him, “You see that curly motherfucker right there? That little redheaded motherfucker right there? You love him, because the only person that’s gonna be there no matter what happens in your life is that little motherfucker.”

      Um… OK.

  9. lafe.long

    According to a Vatican spokesman, the Pope’s meeting with anti-gay marriage Kentucky clerk Kim Davis “should not be considered a form of support of her position in all of its particular and complex aspects.”

    Backpeddling like the first ride on a ten-speed bike.

    1. Notorious UGCC

      Well, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that given he wouldn’t even *meet* with dissidents in Cuba he should take an arm’s-length relationship with a U.S. dissident.

      At least he defended his own church’s freedom in Cuba and the U.S. And at least he spoke up for religious freedom and true marriage, so he’s not a total appeaser.

      But why is he even trying to appease the commies and the enemies of true marriage? Is he angling for praise in the New York Times?

      1. Notorious UGCC

        Please note that I’m criticizing the Pope himself, not “the Pope’s advisors” or “the people around the Pope.”

        1. Notorious UGCC

          But why the Pope should treat Davis as controversial and radioactive, when she’s simply carrying out what the Pope openly said about religious freedom and true marriage, is puzzling.

          1. You think any politician (which includes the Pope) is going to stick to principles in the face of bad optics?

            1. Notorious UGCC

              I guess I *was* getting my hopes up a bit too high.

  10. Buffalo Bills: A Life Changing Tailgate

    Pinto Ron at one time had a hamburger with nothing on it and asked his friends who were tailgating with him if they had any ketchup. His friends began to douse him with ketchup, getting some on his barren hamburger but the majority of the contents of the ketchup bottle on Pinto Ron himself. A tradition was born and at a certain time during Bills tailgates Pinto Ron is magically transformed into Ketchup Kenny thanks to the countless tailgaters armed with ketchup bottles.

    1. Remind me to stay away from Buffalo…

      1. Avoiding a Buffalo Bills tailgate would mean you would miss moments like this, and who in their right mind would want to miss experiencing something like that?

        1. Idle Hands

          dizzy bat while fun doesn’t hold a candle to the greatest tailgate game ever invented.

      2. Rhywun

        Well… Orchard Park. Buffalo itself is blissfully free of such nonsense.

        1. Mickey Rat

          They are planning to put a new stadium near downtown.

          1. Rhywun

            A lot of things get planned for downtown and never happen. I’m sure this will be another of them.

            According to wikipedia, they’re also looking at Lackawanna and Batavia (!).

  11. invisible furry hand

    One for any Windy City folk:

    Chicago Suburb Name
    Generator

    1. gaijin

      Excellent! So many tree and water related combinations.

    2. That was spooky – I think some of those were real!

      *drives through Streamwood*

      1. egould310

        Elkmont. I had a cousin that lived in Elkmont.

    3. straffinrun

      How many variants of “graft” “cronyism” and “murder” are there?

      1. “Cicero”, “Blue Island”, “Robbins”, “Stickney” “Maywood” “Bolingbrook”

        Need more?

        1. gaijin

          ^nice

        2. straffinrun

          Sweet. Do Wisconsin next.

          1. I do not know where the pockets of such are behind the Cheddar Curtain – except “Milwaukee”.

            1. Well, Madison is deep blue and infested with unions . . .

    4. Just a thought not a sermon

      I’m going to use this in my next SimCity game.

    5. 0x90

      – Homeburn
      – Woodwoods
      – Burrgrove
      – Freewood
      – Romeos Harbor
      – Wood Stream
      – Beachburn

      And…

      – Downerville

      1. crab_apple

        I’m going to build The Lofts at Kenny’s House in trendy SODASOPA.

    6. Just say Nikki

      Ha, I’ve made jokes about that for years. Now it’s real!

    7. Timon 19

      I got “Beach Beach”.

    8. lap83

      The best suburb name is in Minnesota, “Little Canada”

      1. Enough About Woodchippers

        My old man lived there back in the 70’s and 80’s. Nice place.

        1. Everyone is so polite!

  12. egould310

    Hillary Clinton is going to be on SNL? That’s edgy and relevant. Cool people watch and discuss SNL all the time. Hillary has some good advisors guiding her campaign. She should upload an edgy video to vine or snapchat. Maybe a cool tweet?

    1. Trump-o-Matic 5000

      She should get on the MySpace

      1. Citizen X

        I’m following her on Friendster.

  13. Slammer

    Amsterdam brothel owners must speak sex workers’ language

    Dutch brothel owners must be able to communicate with sex workers in their own language to protect them from abuse, the EU’s top court has ruled.

    1. Idle Hands

      Listen to me and listen good. I don’t give a shit what happened to you. You hear me? Now get yourself together, get back out there and git me my money!

    2. Right because a) I’m sure this won’t drive employment underground for Dutchie employers who want to hire eastern European girls or b) won’t simply just empower Russian mobsters from cornering the slavic prostitute market there. They should call this law the Cannot Possibly Fail Act.

    3. Rhywun

      The language of seduction?

  14. SugarFree

    Chris Harper Mercer, the man identified as the gunman in the deadly rampage at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Ore., on Thursday, was a withdrawn young man who neighbors said wore the same outfit every day ? combat boots, green Army pants and a white T-shirt ? and was close to his mother, who fiercely protected him.

    Ban mama’s boys.

    1. Ban bad taste in fashion.

      1. What will happen to Matt Welch??

    2. Dark Lord of the wood chipper

      Sounds like a psycho.

      1. gaijin

        American Psycho?

      2. SugarFree

        Or severely autistic. The linked article offers more evidence to that conclusion.

        1. gaijin

          Or severely autistic.

          Vaccines…the hidden killers!

          /Jenny McCarthy

          1. SugarFree

            Exactly. Work in a little Jam Carrey, some scientology and a suicide and we have next summer’s blockbuster.

            1. Citizen X

              “Jam Carrey”?

              1. SugarFree

                OK, I can’t type. Leave me alone. Just because John is gone doesn’t mean you have to start picking on me.

                1. Citizen X

                  Yes i do. It was in the fine print of the Hit’n’Run commenter agreement. I read that shit.

        2. PBR Streetgang

          I was thinking severely autistic as well.

      3. Dark Lord of the wood chipper

        I think for once, I was too subtle.

        You know who else was a mama’s boy?

        1. invisible furry hand

          Buster Bluth?

        2. PBR Streetgang

          The Ramones?

    3. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

      Ban mama’s boys.

      No.

      My sons will be keeping an eye on you, SF.

      1. SugarFree

        Apron strings are the ties that bind.

      2. Do they know you’ve been cheating on them by blowing zoobers on other little boys’ tummies?

        You know, I’m beginning to realize why some people might not like this comment section. If you don’t get our inside jokes, I’m sure that sentence came off as wildly confusing.

        1. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

          Yes. This whole exchange is creeping me and would likely freak out a normal visitor.

          I blame SF for starting it.

          1. SugarFree

            You think I haven’t been blamed for everything before? Huh? [runs off sobbing]

          2. Tonio

            Maybe we don’t like visitors. Or normals.

            Its moments like this that I really feel for Gillespie. He has an always-on-the-edge-of-respectability media outlet with a comments section that scares the *&^%$#@! out of people. Yet that comment section is populated by loyal and insightful people who also provide free fact-checking, copy editing and staff discipline services. Such a conundrum.

            Also, Happy Friday, Postrel, wherever you are.

            1. Warty

              Virginia Postrel can never be happy again because of us. She sits in a corner of her hovel all day, picking at the imaginary commenters under her skin.

            2. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

              ..populated by loyal and insightful people..

              I resent this accusation. I take great pride in being dim-witted and disloyal.

              1. invisible furry hand

                I resent it too. I’m not a person, just a cutting-edge algorithm

                1. JWatts

                  “I resent it too. I’m not a person, just a cutting-edge algorithm”

                  phht! cutting-edge? yeah, right. j/k

            3. Idle Hands

              insightful people

              People? I thought we were all just the various voices that rattle around in agile cyborgs mind?

              1. Citizen X

                You too? I thought it was just me.

            4. gaijin

              staff discipline services

              Sounds…sexy?

              1. Citizen X

                It’s not. Mostly it involves telling Robby he’s grounded.

    4. Tonio

      Ban mothers!

      1. Just say Nikki

        Tonio gets it.

    5. Just say Nikki

      No, SugarFree. This is the perfect time for my Ban Moms campaign to finally take off.

      You know you hate them too.

      1. SugarFree

        We’ll raise the children in a creche! Excellent!

        1. Just say Nikki

          If there are children, there are mothers.

          1. SugarFree

            It’s all done with vats nowadays.

          2. Citizen X

            I’m trying to reproduce via budding. It’s starting to progress, unless growing a third nipple doesn’t count.

      2. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

        But mothers have absolute moral authority.

        RESPECT MY AUTORITAH!

  15. Mazakon

    Iran’s women’s soccer team consisted of eight men

    Iranian soccer fans were left reeling earlier this week after eight members of the women’s national team were found to be men, the Al-Arabiya website reported on Monday.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      I’m guessing they are gonna have a hard time getting through the TSA checkpoints when they come visit the US.

    2. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

      I have a wonderful scheme for Iranian women: Tell everyone you’re really a man and behave like a man. Instant equality.

      1. Iran has weird gender politics. They were forcing homosexuals to get sex changes because it was okay for them to live as women, but not to be gay.

        So transgendered = cool, gay = bad

        1. Rhywun

          I can actually see that. Gay men as men have always freaked out the norms in most cultures. Unless they’re submissive boys or pretend women – less “threatening”, I think.

          1. Tonio

            Ding, ding, ding.

    3. Tonio

      Former East German and Soviet officials approve!

    4. Tonio

      I’m wondering how they did this while avoiding the rigid gender segregation rules of Iranian society. Think locker rooms here, particularly for away games.

      1. DesigNate

        I remember someone posting a few days ago that they had forced the men to get sex changes.

        That’s a way to get around it.

  16. lafe.long

    Helen Mirren: Actress Says She Is Officially Retiring From Doing On-Screen Nude Scenes

    “That’s the good thing about getting older. You don’t have to do that sort of thing any more. [Now] my pleasure pillows are purely for my husband,” Mirren, 70, told Alan Cumming in a CBS interview.

    1. DJF

      AT 70 was anyone asking her to do on screen nude scenes?

      1. “A SugarFree Studios Production”

        1. Tonio

          “Presented in thrilling Wartyvision(tm)”

          1. SugarFree

            “I can actually smell the wrinkles! WartyVision is amazing!”

      2. DesigNate

        Her tits, even at 70, look amazing.

        At least in a decent push-up bra.

  17. Lord Humungus

    I’m sick today – something that rarely happens to my godlike body.

    No Salon links from me today – and there was much rejoicing.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      What, do you and Fisty have a secret club you two are creating without all the riff-raff around here?

    2. LH, as we have discussed countless times, a2m is not very sanitary, and I hope you have finally learned your lesson.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly

      Throws dead flowers in celebration.

    4. Tonio

      Sorry, LH. Feel better, bro.

  18. invisible furry hand

    Not sure a few dozen men = a national trend, but it’s still heartwarming:

    But husbands can choose to waive the provisions of the marriage contract, and now, inspired by Ardalan’s story, dozens of Iranian men who’ve done just that are sharing pictures on social media to advocate gender equality.

    1. Iranian Betas!

      /PUA

    2. Just say Nikki

      Awwww

      The campaign initially called on men to declare that they wouldn’t restrict their wives’ ability to travel abroad, but most men posted statements saying they had passed all rights back to their wives, including the right to work and the right to request a divorce. “I return all rights… to my life partner,” read one man’s statement. “I’m not an owner but a partner for my wife,” said another. “As a human I feel ashamed to have these rights,” wrote a third.

      1. But when will American men follow suit and end gender apartheid?

  19. Mazakon

    Hurricane Joaquin now appears unlikely to make landfall on the U.S. mainland.

    So does this mean hearing sermons from the AGW crowd are not going to happen?

  20. Lord Humungus

    Hillary Clinton, Bane of the Secret Service

    Good morning, ma’am,” a member of the uniformed Secret Service once greeted Hillary Clinton. “F*** off,” she replied.

    That exchange is one among many that active and retired Secret Service agents shared with Ronald Kessler, author of First Family Detail, a compelling look at the intrepid personnel who shield America’s presidents and their families ? and at those whom they guard. Kessler writes flatteringly and critically about people in both parties.

    Regarding the Clintons, Kessler presents Chelsea as a model protectee who respected and appreciated her agents. He describes Bill as a difficult chief executive, but an easygoing ex-president. And Kessler exposes Hillary as an epically abusive Arctic monster.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      “Good morning, ma’am,” a member of the uniformed Secret Service once greeted Hillary Clinton. “F*** off,” she replied.”

      Maybe they can try to work that into one of the skit’s tomorrow night.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly

      Wow. She’s some piece of nasty bitch cunt.

      I’m starting to see why Bill roamed off to fulfill his sexual desires.

      You can’t fuck cunt bitch.

    3. Illocust

      Huh, saying Chelsea was a good protectee and mentioning that Bill’s behavior changed between being in and out of the White House make it a more likely narrative, but dear god, that’s incredibly abusive behavior being described. I’d have to read the whole book to see if it’s a probable story or not (though the firing for calling the former first lady is very believable).

      1. Lord Humungus

        I read a book – about a year ago – written by someone interviewing secret service agents, detailing the personal lives of Kennedy to Bush II. LBJ was the worst – wagging his dick around, urinating in the white house office, having affairs, etc etc

        1. LBJ conducted meetings while naked and while taking a dump. Alpha President!

          1. BigT

            Tell me you haven’t made cell phone calls on the throne. Maybe LBJ was ahead of his time.

            1. I have yet to make an employee wait just outside while I grunt my way through another poo sesh.

              1. Or, as properly foreshortened, a “push.”

    4. epically abusive Arctic monster

      She is an Amikuk?

      Legendary creature. It is a sea animal that is large with slimy, leathery-skin and four long arms.

      1. Tonio

        I think he lurks here and posts every few months.

      2. Rhywun

        “Release the Amikuk!”

        1. “Release the Amikuk!”

          The Amikuk is very fierce and seizes a hunter in his qayaq at sea, dragging
          both under water. When it pursues a man it is useless for him to try to escape, even if he gets upon the ice the beast will swim below and burst up under his feet; and if he is lucky enough to reach the shore the creature will swim through the earth in pursuit as easily as through the water.

          The Amikuk is probably based on the octopus.

          Amikuq = octopus.

      3. Rufus J. Firefly

        I think we just found Hillary’s nickname.

    5. MetalBard

      Another reason not to vote for this bitch. Anyone stupid enough to piss off the people hired to protect your life is unqualified to be president.

    6. GILMORE?

      “”When in public, Hillary smiles and acts graciously,” Kessler explains. “As soon as the cameras are gone, her angry personality, nastiness, and imperiousness become evident.”

      “Hillary Clinton can make Richard Nixon look like Mahatma Gandhi.”

      Actually, from what I hear, Ghandi was kind of a dick, and Dick wasn’t as bad as people think.

      1. Ghandi was kind of a dick

        He’s on record saying some pretty despicable things about Blacks. Then again, so is Lincoln. Ghandi is just lucky he faced off against the British. A less civilized nation would have wiped the floor with his pacifist ass.

  21. Lord Humungus

    50 knifed to death in China coal mine, Uighurs suspected

    At least 50 people were knifed to death last month inside a coal mine in the restive Xinjiang province, reported US-based Radio Free Asia on Thursday – an attack suspected to have been carried out by Uighur separatists who are known to use knife for terror attacks.

    Radio Free Asia said the number of people killed in the September 18 attack at the Sogan colliery in Aksu had reached 50, with most casualties being members of the Han Chinese majority. The news came as the country marked 60 years since the establishment of what it calls the Xinjiang Autonomous Region.

    something something common sense knife control

    1. Just say Nikki

      Commonsense Uighur control is I think more what they’re looking for.

      1. Tonio

        Young Lady! You come over here right now and wipe this coffee off my monitor.

        1. Just say Nikki

          Sorry, Tonio, commonsense coffee control coming soon!

      2. Citizen X

        If you like your Uighurs, you can keep your Uighurs.

        1. Rhywun

          Nobody needs more than 23 Uighurs.

          1. At least not while there are starving children and black things that go up!

    2. Warty

      “Oh no! Uighurs have drunk my battery fluid again!”

      1. GILMORE?

        “Uighur? I hardly know her!”

  22. Lord Humungus

    Libertarian Party drama: Goat sacrifice, eugenics and a chair’s resignation

    Adrian Wyllie, chairman of Florida’s Libertarian Party, resigned his post Thursday to protest the party’s U.S. Senate candidate, accusing the rival of supporting eugenics and for being expelled from a cult group for “sadistically dismembering a goat in a ritualistic sacrifice.”

    The Senate candidate, who goes by the adopted name Augustus Sol Invictus, counter-accused Wyllie of spreading “half-truths and lies” for political gain.

    The dispute between the two has brewed for months, but finally came to a head after Wyllie was unable to persuade the Libertarian Party of Florida’s executive committee to publicly disavow Invictus, an adopted name that means something like “Invincible Sun Emperor.”

    Gosh I love libertarians.

    1. SugarFree

      Half-truth. They slaughtered the goat for sexual purposes.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Didn’t rituals in a lot of ancient cults revolve around sex? I know there were basically prostitute cults in some Greek cities, and I seem to remember the Aztecs or the Incas or somebody used semen in a lot of rituals.

        1. SugarFree

          Yes and no. There were materialist and sex cults, but just as many esoteric religions built on aestheticism and sexual purity.

          Or they were strange admixtures of the two. Even Christianity has that stark duality, an avatar or aspect of a god born into the material world through a virgin, but the enjoining act is ritual cannibalism of that avatar’s flesh and blood.

          1. egould310

            That just sucked all the air out of the room.

            We like ou mourning lynx comments to be oithy and irreverent!

            1. SugarFree

              Sorry. I got all serious with the #askanarchivist stuff yesterday and I haven’t turned it off yet.

    2. “half-truths and lies”

      So which is half true, the dismember of the goat or the support for eugenics?

      1. “And a man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it.”

    3. straffinrun

      Wouldn’t being expelled from a cult group be a good thing?

      1. SIV

        Not for a climate scientist.

    4. SIV

      Invictus, an Orlando lawyer, said he shares classic Libertarian beliefs: Opposition to the war on drugs, support for slashing the federal budget and programs and scaling back interventionist foreign policies. Invictus said he does believe in some environmental regulations, however, but has a harder political line on immigration and believes the government needs to restrict immigration.

      Sounds like he is from the Donald Trump wing of the Party.

    5. Tonio

      Well, at least that will dispel those ugly rumors that we’re all right-wing, Christian fundamentalist socons. Right?

  23. Slammer

    California mandates new high school lessons to prevent sexual assaults

    Amid concerns about sexual assaults on college campuses, Gov. Jerry Brown on Thursday signed a bill requiring high schools that mandate health courses to provide lessons in the prevention of sexual violence.

    The measure also requires lessons promoting affirmative consent before couples engage in sexual relations.

    The law is the first of its kind in the nation, according to the legislators, and follows a measure signed last year requiring college campuses to improve policies to prevent sexual assault and to require that couples affirmatively consent before engaging in sex.

    “Without ? action, more than 100,000 students will be sexually assaulted on college campuses nationwide,” said Sofie Karasek, co-founder of the group End Rape on Campus. “By passing this bill to educate high school students about consent, California is taking a critical step towards lowering that number.”

    1. SugarFree

      100,000 students will be sexually assaulted on college campuses

      I don’t think Sofie wants to say that only .005% of college students will be sexually assaulted if she wants to keep the bullshit 1 in 4 lie going.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Right, there are 20 million college students in 2015. This is this an unintentional slip of the truth, or is Sofie simply incabable of mathing?

        1. SugarFree

          The most charitable interpretation is that she was suggesting that the program would eliminate assault by California-originating students, who seem to be a rapey lot by her estimation.

          1. Citizen X

            AS CALIFORNIA NATIVE, STEVE SMITH TAKE ADVANTAGE OF FREE UC SYSTEM TUITION TO BETTER HIMSELF. AND DO RAPE.

      2. There were 20.2 million total college students in 2013 with 12.5 million under 25.

        Assuming half are women and only women are sexually assaulted, that means 6.25 million women under 25 with 100,000 being assaulted annually. So in four years, that’s 400,000 out of 6.25 million which is 6.4%.

        That’s way closer to the FBI numbers, but is way lower than 1 out of 4. They need to get their talking points together.

        1. SugarFree

          Same numbers I was using, but taking poor math-addled Sofie literally. 🙂

        2. Zaytsev

          Your math is off because you are using a four year total for the number assaulted by a single year total for the number of students.

          It should be number of assault in a given year divided by the number of students in that same year. So the result is 1.6%

          Except, that the advocates use the weasel word assaulted while implying that they are talking about rape.

          So the percentage of students raped is at least on order of magnitude lower.

          1. One more adjustment; Something like 60% of college students are chicks now, so that percentage is actually a little lower.

    2. MetalBard

      You can’t have sex until both partners call their lawyers and work out a contract. Otherwise it’s rape.

    3. Rhywun

      The only solution is sex-segregated schools. Neo-Victorianism FTW.

    4. GILMORE?

      “schools that mandate health courses to provide lessons in the prevention of sexual violence.’

      What i find remarkable is that people seem to think that public schools, which consistently prove themselves incapable of teaching the majority of students proper use of the English language, basic numeracy, statistical literacy, historical awareness, etc….

      …are somehow supposed to be able to impart Moral & Ethical Principles of sexual behavior via a *single classroom lecture* in a single year… somehow making up for a lifetime of poor-parenting.

      The futility and stupidity of the idea is apparent to almost no one.

      1. Rhywun

        It’s really more of cover-your-ass for them. They don’t care if kids learn anything, as long as words were spoken. They did their part, now they can move on to stuff that really matters like the next round of teacher raises.

        1. GILMORE?

          “It’s really more of cover-your-ass for them.’

          Yep. Do it to say you did it. and to get more spending, GLORIOUS SPENDING

          The problem is that this bullshit takes away from what kids SHOULD be doing, which is the aforementioned english/math/science/history etc. Instead they’re getting unrealistic lectures on sexual conduct that are unlikely to have any actual effect on behavior sans parental guidance.

  24. Lord Humungus

    Amazon Will Stop Selling Google and Apple Streaming Devices at the End of the Month

    From Bloomberg:

    Amazon.com Inc. is flexing its e-commerce muscles to gain an edge on competitors in the video-streaming market by ending the sale of devices from Google Inc. and Apple Inc. that aren’t easily compatible with Amazon’s video service.

    Amazon apparently broke this news to its marketplace sellers in an email, informing them that it will cease allowing new listings for Apple TV and Google Chromecast and remove existing posts for those items as of Oct. 29. But why?

    “Over the last three years, Prime Video has become an important part of Prime,” Amazon said. “It’s important that the streaming media players we sell interact well with Prime Video in order to avoid customer confusion.”

  25. Lord Humungus

    Charles Cooke on the shootings: “After Isla Vista it was sexism. After Charleston it was racism. After Gabby Giffords, it was Palinism. So what’s this one, guys?”

    1. gaijin

      Student Loan affordability?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        I think the term you’re looking for is ‘loanism’.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          Or ‘debtism’.

    2. MetalBard

      Trumpism!!

    3. straffinrun

      Angry Malejism?

      1. Rhywun

        eeeew!

        /teenage girl

  26. I think I shall call it … Ricogate!!!!

    Yesterday, Shukla and GMU got notice that they have piqued the interest of a congressional committee, and via a written notice are required to preserve documents for an impending Congressional investigation and to provide proof that all employees of IGES/COLA have been notified that they are aware they can’t destroy documents. As we follow the unraveling behind the scenes and new FOIA documentation, rumors of some aberrant behavior in the past have begun to surface from former colleagues that suggest we might be dealing with the same sort of ego induced blindness that led to the downfall of IPCC chairman Rajenda Pachauri. The combination of information WUWT is being given behind the scenes suggests to me that this episode is going to get far worse for Shukla and GMU before it gets better.

    At issue is at least 63.5 million dollars from the National Science Foundation, and where it went, whether it was used for the purpose intended, and who benefited from that money. The problem at hand seems to be that there may have been more than a little “double dipping” going on with that grant money as Steve McIntyre pointed out in Shukla’s Gold:

    1. Tonio

      Nice.

    2. Illocust

      Oh wow, so they are royally screwed. Sweet!

      1. Tonio

        Yeah, but there’s a difference between an uncomfortable day testifying before a congressional committee and actual criminal charges.

        1. I am sure the DoJ will….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

          I couldn’t finish that with a straight face.

    3. Lee G

      There’s apparently an $800,000 annual salary and an organization full of Shukla family members that has produced next to no results for the millions received. Even NSF on their own web page acknowledges that only one paper has been produced out of a 4.2 million dollar grant.

      Can the government claw back grants?

      1. Illocust

        That money is spent and gone. I can’t see a reasonable way to get it back.

        1. Tonio

          And exposing that would be embarrassing to government, so best to sweep it all under the rug. That’s how this sort of thing works.

  27. Tonio

    Esquire Magazine: Pope Francis was actually swindled into meeting with Kim Davis.

    1. Notorious UGCC

      Yes, reactionary elements tricked the Pope into meeting Davis. I know.

      1. Tonio

        That was you, bro? Respect!

        [claps Eddie on the shoulder in manly fashion, then slips spit-moistened finger into Eddie’s ear]

        1. Notorious UGCC

          Oh, and the Esquire article simply piles speculation on speculation.

          I don’t think you need a sinister explanation for the Pope speaking up for true marriage and freedom of conscience. What needs explanation is his timidity and arm’s-length approach to Davis.

          Apparently he wants to speak up for general principles while not committing himself to specific situations. Exception: Defending the freedom of his own church (Cuba speech, Little Sisters of the Poor). It would be nice if he also defended Protestants like Davis, but that may be too much to expect.

          1. Tonio

            I see the Esquire article as apologetic speculation, but thought it important to air that out of a sense of fairness. But, me being me and all, I mostly posted it for the snark and lulz.

            Lighten up, Eddie.

            1. Notorious UGCC

              Certainly – but the thing is the progs can’t seem to wrap their minds around the Pope’s public statements in favor of true marriage and religious freedom. It’s just background noise to them.

              The only thing that made them briefly think, “OMG God he’s serious about this stuff” was the meeting with Davis, and now his backtracking will send them back to their old attitude of “oh, well, he doesn’t *really* care about these culture-war issues!”

              1. Tonio

                No, the progs are truly outraged over this. Not at themselves for not having paid attention. Not at the media who painted such a rosy and dishonest picture of the pope. But at the pope himself who was just staying consistent and doing his job.

                Having said all that, there was a mild tone-shift from this new pope – mostly in what he wasn’t saying, which was a big contrast to the previous pope. And that was significant given the pace of change within the church. But going out of his way to see Davis was too much to swallow.

                1. Notorious UGCC

                  Hey, I actually agree!

  28. Lord Humungus

    speaking of Mr. Cooke:

    The Right to Bear Arms Is Not a Relic of the Slave-Owning South

    Another day, another attempt at guilt by association. This time the topic is guns, and the guilt is being wrung from that perennial favorite, slavery. The carrying of firearms, Saul Cornell and Eric M. Ruben argue over at The Atlantic, is not a constitutionally protected right derived from an Anglo-American understanding of Lockean self-defense prerogatives, but a quirk of the antebellum South that became part of mainstream American life by dint of an unfortunate historical accident. As a matter of fact, the pair suggest, the very notion that the Bill of Rights protects your capacity to “pack heat” is suspiciously close to something a slave-owner might say:

    Public-carry advocates like to cite historical court opinions to support their constitutional vision, but those opinions are, to put it mildly, highly problematic. The supportive precedent they rely on comes from the antebellum South and represented less a national consensus than a regional exception rooted in the unique culture of slavery and honor. By focusing only on sympathetic precedent, and ignoring the national picture, gun-rights advocates find themselves venerating a moment at which slavery, honor, violence, and the public carrying of weapons were intertwined.

    1. MetalBard

      One of the things that absolutely sickens me about the left is their willingness to shit all over historical facts. It’s one thing to lie for a cause, but there something exceptionally perverse about going back and rewriting history with things they know are lies.

      Another thing, how can people believe that a cause is noble if they have to further it by lies? How do people who do things they know are morally wrong somehow convince themselves they are the “good guys”?

      1. Dark Lord of the wood chipper

        They read 1984 as an instructional manual.

      2. Tonio

        One word, MB: Narrative.

        1. MetalBard

          Oh I understand the tactics. I just think that if i had to lie to get people over to my point of view I would start wondering whether or not my point of view was so great.

          1. Lee G

            The factual accuracy of the point of view is irrelevant. If your self-identified group has a particular viewpoint, then you must adopt and promote it in order to remain in the group.

            1. MetalBard

              Ah yes that makes sense. I forgot how much value people put into “what other people think about me”.

              I stopped caring about that shit when I was still in school, but I guess I’m not really like most people in that regard. If I was I probably wouldn’t be posting here.

          2. Tonio

            The reason the narrative works, in the sense of being appealing, is that the vast majority of people are on Team Feelz. Thinking about stuff is hard, and having principles means you sometimes have to make difficult decisions.

          3. DesigNate

            Yes, but you are an intelligent and insightful person.

            Progressives, not so much.

            1. Tonio

              Thanks.

    2. Tonio

      That’s like saying that wanting the trains to run on time is inherently facist because Mussolini also wanted that.

      1. You know who else…hey, wait a minute…?

    3. Notorious UGCC

      “it cannot be believed that the large slaveholding States regarded [black people] as included in the word citizens, or would have consented to a Constitution which might compel them to receive them in that character from another State. For if they were so received, and entitled to the privileges and immunities of citizens, it would give them the full liberty…to keep and carry arms wherever they went. – Dred Scott v. Sandford

      1. Notorious UGCC

        There should be ellipses before “it would give them the full liberty”

    4. What’s really amusing is that gun control is basically a relic of Jim Crow, and that the Jim Crow era is full of stories about black communities arming themselves for defense against the KKK and miscellaneous racists.

  29. Lord Humungus

    This morning I was playing a WW2 team/FPS game – Red Orchestra 2 – our Wermarcht team leader had a thick Caribbean accent and was shouting orders to fight for the fatherland. I lol’d

    1. “Yo, fight for the Fahtha-land, mon!”

      1. GILMORE?

        “aye bruddah, we gwon mash up bad men dem want try disrespect ta Fooher, ya know. one time! mad selector, let me hear tat Stuka whine!”

        1. invisible furry hand

          ital

    2. Stories like that make me glad to be on this planet, Humungus.

  30. Lee G

    Caring about proper grammar is the new racism

    Mr. Cohen joins a number of singles picky about the grammar gaffes they’re seeing on dating sites. For love, these folks say written communications matter, from the correct use of semicolons, to understanding the difference between its and it’s, and sentences built on proper parallel construction.

    “Grammar snobbery is one of the last permissible prejudices,” says John McWhorter, a linguistics professor at Columbia University. “The energy that used to go into open classism and racism now goes into disparaging people’s grammar.”

    Paging Nikki to the Strunk and White courtesy phone….

    1. Warty

      SYNTAX GODDAMMIT

    2. MetalBard

      Wanting proper grammar is totally racist, but assuming that blacks are all somehow too stupid to be expected to use proper grammar is totally ok.

      The differences between a modern SJW assumptions, and the the assumptions of an old school racist get fewer everyday.

      1. Just say Nikki

        If you think John McWhorter is a “modern SJW,” you should read about him more.

      2. I yearn for the halcyon days of racism, where a simple mention of fried chicken and menthol cigarettes, or laziness and burritos, or bad driving and slanted vaginas, or toques and bags of milk, could illicit a laugh and an agreeable nod.

        1. “toques and bags of milk, could illicit a laugh and an agreeable nod.”

          Wait…you mean that is now off limits?! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WORLD?!

        2. lap83

          It’s still acceptable to make fun of the French though right?

          1. egould310

            Wee wee! Mek a fun of zee Fronsh!

        3. B.P.

          “illicit”? What was the subject again?

    3. Very well, Professor….since your field clearly leads to naught but prejudice – you are fired.

    4. This sentiment from a linguistics professor? Oh right, Columbia linguistics professor.

      1. Just say Nikki

        Why is that surprising from a linguistics professor?

        1. Presumably they have some understanding of and respect for language and linguistics. None of my former professors ever claimed grammar was racist.

          1. Just say Nikki

            He doesn’t think “grammar is racist.” I don’t know what would even give you that idea.

            Looking for perfect usage of Standard English is, obviously, discriminatory, and it’s a good proxy for racial or especially class discrimination.

            1. Warty

              The best part is that this idiot has never heard of John McWhorter.

              1. Old Man With Candy

                The best part is that this idiot has never heard of John McWhorter.

                Really? Dude was a great running back for the Bulldogs.

              2. MetalBard

                I know right? Like who hasn’t heard of John McWhorter he’s like totally famous and stuff!!

                1. Warty

                  …He is really famous…

              3. GILMORE?

                Why should anyone have heard of him?

                (i’ve read occasional articles by him, nothing more)

            2. Lee G

              He’s assuming that it’s a proxy, when it could just be a preferred trait.

              1. Just say Nikki

                I’m willing to be a lot of money that it’s frequently a proxy.

                1. Lee G

                  It may be quite often so. But he’s prejudging them to be racist and/or classist, which makes him as guilty of discriminatory behavior as anyone else.

                2. Warty

                  My favorite of the current substitute terms for “nigger” is “dindu nuffin”. As in the mother of the dead robber telling the TV cameras “my baby dindu nuffin!” But yeah, it’s not a proxy.

                  1. Warty

                    Shit, I mean “dindu”, as in “my baby dindu nuffin”. Although I suppose you see it written either way.

                  2. Lee G

                    I don’t equate slang terms for stereotypes with proper grammar and spelling. They’re separate issues.

                3. MetalBard

                  Cause them there blacks no speak good english right? Seriously how can it be used as a proxy for racism unless you honestly believe that certain racial groups use poor grammar?

                  1. Warty

                    I’m not sure what’s hard to understand here. A caricaturized characteristic of African American Vernacular English (as a linguist would call it) is used as a somewhat socially acceptable derogatory racial epithet among certain groups. This is somehow different from other racial epithets?

                    1. Lee G

                      And what does that have to do with demonstrating a preference for proper grammar and spelling?

                    2. Warty

                      1) Proper grammar doesn’t exist. 2) Differences in dialect tend to be used to mock outgroups. Think “Feets don’t fail me now!”, Foghorn Leghorn, “That’s a spicy meat-a-ball!”, etc. That’s all McWhorter is really saying here, I think.

                      Like Nikki says, the issues intersect.

                    3. Warty

                      Disclaimer: Please don’t interpret this to mean I believe Italians are human.

                    4. Warty

                      Also: I’m certainly not above this kind of silliness. For example, fuck Yinzers. Fuck them so much.

                    5. Lee G

                      It’s not what he’s saying at all. He’s directly attacking the concept of preferring proper grammar and spelling as classist and prejudicial. The article concerns those who screen their potential partners based on their self-composed profiles.

                    6. Just say Nikki

                      It’s pretty mild for an “attack.” Honestly it seems like more of an observation.

                    7. Lee G

                      An observation that draws a direct comparison with open racism.

                    8. Tonio

                      Intersectionality?

                    9. GILMORE?

                      “. A caricaturized characteristic of African American Vernacular English (as a linguist would call it) is used as a somewhat socially acceptable derogatory racial epithet among certain groups.’

                      Certain groups, like Faulkner and Flannery O’Connor?

                      I see no reason why its especially wrong to transcribe phonetical speech differences. People do it all the time with any kinds of accents, including “yokel”. Its only ‘derogatory’ if you personally ascribe negative characteristics with talking a certain way. Writing it doesn’t make it so.

                    10. Just say Nikki

                      Certain groups, like Faulkner and Flannery O’Connor?

                      Try neoreactionaries and cuck-fetishists.

                    11. and cuck-fetishists

                      Stop shaming us!

                    12. GILMORE?

                      “‘Try neoreactionaries and cuck-fetishists.””

                      So, Racist People are Racist?

                      My point was precisely to note that people can transcribe speech patterns and it isn’t by-default, “Racist”. Obviously if somone is trying to make a racist point, they can use any means they want to do it. Simply recording the way people actually sound isn’t inherently racist.

                      Claiming that it is… is the sort of horseshit that people use to try and ban Huckleberry Finn from classrooms. OR Faulkner (*which was a thing when i was in college)

                    13. Just say Nikki

                      Pretty sure Warty was never saying simple transcription of dialect was racist.

                    14. GILMORE?

                      So what makes any “non-simple” mention of dialect racist then? When racist people do it? And who makes that call?

                      (as noted = people in the business of taking offense do not have a track record of giving a pass to “good people” using vernacular, a la Twain, Faulkner)

                      This idea that certain language only becomes ‘derogatory’ when bad people use it… but is otherwise completely benign… seems to say nothing about the language, and is merely an observation of behavior by people with “Bad Attitudes”

                    15. GILMORE?

                      “Pretty sure Warty was never saying simple transcription of dialect was racist”

                      That would be problematic, wouldn’t it.

                      “”Warty|2015/09/30 14:45:06|#5623563

                      Matt, meet the yokels. Yokels, Matt. WHYCOME U TELL ME TO REED I AIN’T NO FUCKIN FAGGOT”

                    16. Warty

                      Of course it’s not wrong to do that. That’s not what anyone is saying.

                    17. GILMORE?

                      “That’s not what anyone is saying.’,

                      Well, that clears everything up, then.

                  2. Just say Nikki

                    A large share of black people in the US do not normally speak the same dialect or register as middle-class white people. They aren’t necessarily using “poor grammar,” but they’re frequently not using Standard American English, either.

                    It’s a much better proxy for classism, but the issues…intersect a lot.

                    1. Lee G

                      It’s a much better proxy for classism

                      I’ll give you that, if you broaden the term to include those who desire the ability to clearly communicate in their partners.

                    2. Just say Nikki

                      I’ll give you that, if you broaden the term to include those who desire the ability to clearly communicate with other middle-class people in their partners.

                      I mean, I do.

            3. Yes by “grammar” I mean “proper use of grammar” but I left that part out in my shorthand, forgetting that a certain petty twat lurks on the boards waiting to raise some nitpicky bullshit at the first opportunity.

              1. nitpicky bullshit

                She can be nitpicky, but I appreciate it. As English isn’t my first language I find her remarks helpful. Even if she is worser than anyone else.

              2. Just say Nikki

                Well a linguist probably doesn’t have the same ideas about “proper use of grammar” as you do. So, it’s not nitpicky bullshit at all.

                1. Warty

                  The thought of a linguist believing there’s such a thing as “correct” grammar is just…I can’t even.

                2. Nikki,

                  Quick questions, what do you think of the grammar girl site? Is there another site that would be better?

                  1. Just say Nikki

                    Sorry, Ivan, I don’t really know. At a glance she seems pretty good. I highly recommend following Language Log for takedowns of nonsense grammar rules, though.

                    1. Thanks Nikki. I will look at it.

            4. Looking for perfect usage of Standard English is, obviously, discriminatory,

              Well, sure. Discriminatory against idiots. Pardon me – the “intelligence-challenged community.”

    5. Just say Nikki

      Can I use the Strunk and White courtesy phone to go back in time and kill them?

      I mean, McWhorter is right, but I’m also definitely going to be classist when choosing a partner, so.

      1. SugarFree

        I’m typo and gaffe prone myself, but I also judge the hell out of people for this. On comments or a chat board, it’s no big deal, but you want to get with this, you need to be able to write clearly.

    6. Old Man With Candy

      The funny thing is that I met my wife through an advanced cooking forum- she was the sys admin. She says that she never would have given me a look if my grammar and usage had been to the usual level there.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        And, of course, it worked the other way. One of the reasons I was drawn to her was that her writing was quite good, with flawless mechanics.

      2. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

        Cool story. I met my husband at a bar and would never have given him a second look if not for all his money and the huge bulge in is trousers*.

        Priorities, priorities.

        *JK

        1. Old Man With Candy

          In her case, when we met IRL for the first time, I grinned and licked my eyebrows.

          1. I have stated before I that I enticed a very attractive woman to date me based almost solely upon the fact that I spell and do grammar more good than most other men.

            1. Lee G

              So you’re saying that you live in Mississippi.

              1. Old Man With Candy

                Crusty has eleven toes, so Ima say yes.

                1. That’s not a toe. Wink.

                2. Citizen X

                  Most people assume it’s 6 on one foot and 5 on the other, but it’s actually 7 and 4.

                  1. Eating a lot of Hudson River fish and crab may have a downside. Maybe.

                  2. Old Man With Candy

                    Prime numbers complicate digit distribution.

              2. Trump-o-Matic 5000

                My experience growing up in Mississippi was that the ladies are not as impressed with it as I’d hoped.

    7. Mrs. Lemuel Struthers

      Finally, someone gets it.

      Or

      Finaly some one get’s its.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        The greengrocer’s apostrophe is my favorite.

        1. Citizen X

          Fucking apostrophe’s, how do they work?

          1. Like magnets?

            /Juggalo

            1. Old Man With Candy

              magnet’s.

              Jesus, do I have to explain everything to you???

              1. ye’s.

    8. Lee G

      For more grammar privilege gold

      Grammar Snobs, please consider: Not everyone had access to great educational system. Using a word wrong does not make you a horrible person that deserves what’s coming to them. Being a nice is more important than being right.

      Bonus points for finding all the grammatical/spelling errors in the article.

      1. Tonio

        “who deserves” not “that deserves”

      2. invisible furry hand

        Grammar Snobs, please consider: Not everyone had access to a great education system. Using a word wrongly does not make you a horrible person who deserves what’s coming to you. Being a nice person is more important than being right.

        But being a nice person who can speak and write English correctly trumps both

        1. kbolino

          And “get what’s coming to you” is an idiom for “get what you deserve”; saying “you don’t deserve what’s coming to you” is contradictory.

  31. Mesteve

    Freedom is a scary, scary thing. BAN IT!

  32. SugarFree

    Woman Pours Cleaner In Her Eyes, Fulfills Lifelong Wish of Being Blind

    Shuping says she the idea of being blind made sense to her at the age of six. According to People, the now 30-year-old was able to fluently read Braille by the time she was 20. She claims to have found a psychologist willing to help fulfill her dream in 2006. After a couple of weeks, they decided Shuping was ready to lose her eyesight. The psychologist poured drain cleaner in her eyes.

    Shuping said her eyes were “screaming.” “All I could think was, ‘I am going blind, it is going to be okay.'” Over the next few months, her eyesight began to deteriorate.

    1. MetalBard

      Well I suppose this no different then Bruce Jenner getting his junk removed. Well magazines start calling Shuping stunning and brave now?

    2. Drake

      I clicked and now envy her.

    3. invisible furry hand

      Her lifelong dream of being on the public tit forever has come true *sob*

    4. Trump-o-Matic 5000

      Trans-visual?

    5. egould310

      She should’ve at least swapped her healthy corneas out with someone who needed them. What a cunt.

      1. invisible furry hand

        You think that was even an option? Why do you think destroyed her eyes in that painful fashion? Almost certainly because no reputable surgeon would remove healthy corneas from her.

        Well, also, it’s cheaper.

    6. lap83

      “She claims to have found a psychologist willing to help fulfill her dream in 2006”

      Wow, she found someone even more deranged than herself

      1. I don’t see how that psychologist can possibly be allowed to keep his license AFTER POURING DRAIN CLEANER IN A PATIENT’S EYES! For fuck’s sake.

  33. Airwolf Meets Metal

    A metal version of the Airwolf theme

  34. Sevo

    “Developers claim increasing S.F. transit fees would be crippling”
    […]
    “A fight is brewing between developers and lawmakers over how much the builders should pay to support the city’s transit system.”
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/pol…..ate-result
    Paywall alert!

    According to lefties, SF housing is ‘too expensive’, so the solution is to add a transit fee (tax) to any new construction, on a sliding scale, such that building fewer units costs less per square foot than building more units. Build 100 units and you’ll add $10K to a 1Ksq. ft. unit.
    I can’t think of anything to add.

    1. Rhywun

      It’s like 4 different factions of leftism are working at cross-purposes there.

    2. DesigNate

      So they think the solution to prices being “too expensive” is to restrict the supply of housing?

      Seems legit.

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