Congress Votes to Fund Government, Hillary Clinton Starting to Fear Joe Biden, Hurricane Joaquin Over Bahamas: A.M. Links

|

  • WTAE

    By a vote of 277-151, the House of Representatives passed a spending measure to fund the government through December 11 without cuts to Planned Parenthood sought by conservatives.

  • The Hillary Clinton campaign is starting to fear a Joe Biden run.
  • Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin (R) postponed the execution of Richard Glossip over concerns the wrong chemical had been prepared for the lethal injection.
  • Shortly after his promotion during a leadership shake-up, an assistant director at the Secret Service urged the agency to release confidential information about a Congressional critic, Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), once applying to, and being rejected from, the Seceet Service.
  • Hurricane Joaquin is currently over the Bahamas and is expected to hit the U.S. over the weekend.
  • A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car. The raccoon attacked the driver, who crashed into a tree. (Did not happen, sorry!)

New at Reason.com:

NEXT: That was an odd Twitter e-mail to get

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. The Hillary Clinton campaign is starting to fear a Joe Biden run.

    Should the country as well?

    1. It’s telling about how our “justice” system works (and our electoral politics) that Hillbot’s campaign is more concerned over a Biden run than a federal indictment.

      1. I get the feeling the 2 are very related.

    2. Hello.

      “By a vote of 277-151, the House of Representatives passed a spending measure to fund the government through December 11 without cuts to Planned Parenthood sought by conservatives.”

      The GOP couldn’t see through their threat even with the largest majority in the HoR since the early 30s?

      Who’s running this party? Matt Williams?

      1. Not every GOPer is an Aborto-Freak.

        1. …and almost every Dem is an abortion extremist.

          1. Is it too late to question why FedGov is supporting Planned Parenthood? Nothing left to cut I guess.

            1. Why do you hate women, fundy?

            2. Not really but it is a pretty easy question to answer.

              The government doesn’t “fund” Planned Parenthood, the government pays for healthcare services for the poor and PP is just one of many agencies who deliver those services.

              When they talk about defunding PP they are talking about removing them from the approved providers for those welfare programs.

              The problem with this is that in a lot of areas PP is the only approved health provider that specializes in womens and reproductive health services

              1. I was informed the other day here that making that distinction just means you’re a Planned Parenthood booster who supports giving them taxpayer funding

                *eyeroll*

              2. The government doesn’t “fund” Planned Parenthood, the government pays for healthcare services for the poor and PP is just one of many agencies who deliver those services.

                Kind of sort of.

                A Government Accountability Office (GAO) report released in March 2015, however, shows that the organization’s affiliates receive taxpayer money through family planning grants under Title X of the Public Health Services Act, and also through a few similar programs, but that Planned Parenthood affiliates collect most of their government funding through a combination of state and federal Medicaid payments.

                While medicaid payments represent a much larger total of Planned Parenthood’s revenue, they do get direct funding in the form of Title X grants as well as separate state grants. A quarter of all Title X funding goes to Planned Parenthood.

        2. Because supporting the defunding of a corrupt partisan private agency makes you an aborto-freak.

          1. PP is funded through standard Medicaid payments for standard medical procedures – not abortions.

            Now Medicaid has issues of course. See Michele Bachmann’s light-in-the-loafer cuck-husband and his Medicaid funded gay conversion therapy services.

            Someone needs to take a death panel to Medicaid but the GOP would howl like sister-boys.

            1. take a death panel to Medicaid

              You realize, asshat, that medicaid is what a majority of people who get their insurance from the Lightbringer’s magical exchanges depend on.

              And you’re trying to infer that your party (Dems – don’t deny it) wouldn’t howl like a shit flinging monkey at any attempt to defund or modify medicaid?

              1. In 2013 only 11% of Medicaid expenditures were for non-elderly adults. The ACA has increased that since no doubt.

                Sure, Dems would howl if it were cut broadly.

                Medicaid is the low rung of health care and that is one reason I thought the ACA was so preferable to single-payer.

                Because I don’t want to be on it. I like our private insurance.

    3. It’s looking more and more to me like Biden is a giant pussy who wants to run for president, but doesn’t want to expose himself to the Clintonista hatchet men again.

  2. Hurricane Joaquin is currently over the Bahamas and is expected to hit the U.S. over the weekend.

    The AGW warriors can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

    1. Already seeing articles asking if it will be as bad as Sandy.

      1. HA! Unpossible – I have no travel plans for it to ruin.

        1. Me neither. There’s not a wedding I’m going to miss.

          1. And I’m not moving this weekend like I did through Sandy.

            1. Dude. That sucks.

              1. Or is rather convenient since your stuff is already in boxes and you were leaving anyway. I’d take it as a sign.

                Lemonade, man. Lemonade.

            2. Ouch. I moved the weekend that Irene hit. I can’t imagine having to do it through the shitshow that was Sandy.

      1. An easy joke, but I’m glad someone did it.

        1. At least Pheonix is safe!

          1. *Phoenix*

    2. DC Reasonoids, leave now. God’s Wrath has finally got Sodom in its sights.

      1. Smite them, Smite them all to Hell

        In Jesus’ name, Amen

        1. Amen.

  3. …without cuts to Planned Parenthood sought by conservatives.

    Cut spending? Are you crazy?

    1. How else will Planned Parenthood pay for the new wonder drug UR-86?

      1. Ha! Yes, Ms Fluke, I have your prescription right here.

  4. ‘Sweat shaming’: A woman’s workout humiliation

    “You look like you just did a class,” a woman asked Roe. “Or swimming?”

    “Um, running,” Roe said. “I just ? sweat a lot.”

    Though that was the beginning and end of the interaction, Roe was humiliated. As she explained in a recent Guardian piece: “I threw off my damp running cap and flipped up the hood of my sweatshirt in embarrassment. I wanted to dive deep into that Lululemon Scuba and never come back up for air.” She didn’t even stop to get half-and-half on the way out.

    Roe had been “sweat-shamed,” she said.

    “Sweat-shaming is when someone points out your sweatiness as a way to signal disapproval,” she wrote. “Like its counterparts, slut-shaming and fat-shaming, sweat-shaming is aimed mainly at women, who are actually not supposed to sweat at all.”

    1. They need a cutesy phrase were people assume the motivations behind your comments, so they can write articles about how badly you victimized them.

      1. Motive-shaming is the best I got right now. I need some coffee.

      2. “Social justice”?

      3. paranoid schizophrenia

    2. I’m so confused. Normal people sweat when they run. How is this shaming?

      1. Oh, I sweat a lot when I run and I get sweat-shamed. You do not want to overexert yourself! I keep forgetting.

      2. Normal people also go home, shower, and put on clean clothes after a big workout. This moron went to Starbucks so others could enjoy her BO.

        1. That will depend on where you live. If you live in NYC, for example, or any other major urban center, you could easily go for a run or to the gym and hit Starbucks and your way home. I see this all the time. And not everyone reeks right after a workout – the fermentation usually takes time, right?

          1. Apparently she was pretty ripe.

            1. Well, I don’t see anywhere in the article that her odor was mentioned – just that she was dripping with sweat, and that’s what spurred the comment. A comment that was just that, a comment. It may have even been the initiation of a conversation.

              She admits that this part Though that was the beginning and end of the interaction was just that, the end of the conversation, she CHOSE this part…Roe was humiliated.

              If you care what people think of your appearance then don’t stand in line for coffee after you’ve run a half-marathon. If you don’t care, then go ahead.

              1. Yeah, the comment reads like someone trying to start a conversation. It could have just been a comment to pass the time, but if someone tells me that it looks like I just did some strenuous workout, I assume they want to chat a bit about fitness.

        2. I happen to sweat as much after a shower (even cold ones) as I do during heavy exercise. I’m not ashamed of it; it’s just who I am. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Why are they so desperate to be victims?

      3. I think this is a holdover from the days when athleticism was considered unladylike. That Roe has internalized that is her own problem, not the problem of the world at large.

        1. Exactly.

        2. I lift weights with my wife – we can both get a little ripe – she’s benching 120pds now which isn’t a whole lot, but compared to her friends, it’s a shocking amount.

          1. For a woman, that is a lot.

        3. Personally, I think sweaty women are hot. And polls have shown far more men find a sweaty woman sexy whereas women tend to get turned off by sweaty men.

    3. sweat-shaming is aimed mainly at women, who are actually not supposed to sweat at all.”

      Just wait until they get around to flat-shaming.

      “Oh hey, did you just eat a bunch of broccolli or did you forget to turn on the bathroom exhaust fan?”

      We’ll see who is humiliated then as we all know women are not supposed to f@rt either.

      1. I don’t know who this f @ rt is i’m supposed to be emailing or what i’m supposed to say in this email… but here we go.

      2. Does it mention that the “shaming” is done entirely by other women? Or are they blaming this too on men.

        1. Those other women, the one doing the actual shaming, they are just victims of the patriarchy.

          1. “They’ve internalized the misogynistic attitudes that are so prevalent in our capitalist rape culture!”

            /SJW

    4. …the fuck?

      No, seriously. …the fuck?

      Is this like when you’re sitting on the subway and there are two people talking in a foreign language and you just *know* they’re making fun of you?

      1. Perfect metaphor. People like this are just narcissistic assholes.

      2. Oh, I know they’re talking about me. Discussing my beauty and grace. How they would like to have the sex with me.

    5. That’s what she gets for wearing a sweatshirt. It’s literally right there in the name.

    6. “…aimed mainly at women…”

      Well, yeah. If someone made a comment like that to me I doubt that I would care any more or less than I do about the poor woman in the above example.

      1. I hate to admit this, but the other guys in my old, slow and fat basketball night call me slimy because I sweat so much.

        And yeah, I don’t care even a bit.

        The sweat shaming was worse in our younger years when we would still play shirts and skins. Then the slime was really bad. About 10 years ago we decided we should all be shirts, because even we couldn’t stand looking at the ourselves with our shirts off. That has helped the problem a bit.

        1. 10 years ago we decided we should all be shirts,

          That was moob-shaming.

          1. It was going beyond shaming. More like moob-self-loathing…

          1. I tried to get them to call me Snake (a nick name for a northern pike which are real slimy) but they wouldn’t go for it.

            1. a northern pike which are real slimy

              Who you calling slimy?? 😉

            2. Snake Jimbo?! I heard you were dead!

      2. I’d probably be areested for sexual assault after I gave them a big, sweaty hug.

    7. It was just another day in Seattle. Amy Roe, 42-year-old author and three-time Boston Marathon runner, had just put in her miles ? 12 of them. And, after running almost a half-marathon, she was sweating.

      After 12 miles…. she was sweating…. And she’s self-conscious about it…..

      I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

      1. The issue is that she then went directly to Starbucks, stunk the place up, and received a bunch of thinly veiled insults as a result.

        1. Let’s hope they carry this all the way to fart shaming, yeast shaming, smell my finger shaming.

      2. 42-year-old author and three-time Boston Marathon runner

        Oh, so she’s ‘a better’…how dare those proles judge her.

      3. Shes finished Boston three times and now gets all self conscious about sweat and other people being all judgy? I’m going with the author is starting menopause.

    8. It should be noted that hotties don’t sweat, they glisten. Sweat shaming is an ugly girl problem.

      1. “Horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glisten.”

    9. “I wanted to dive deep into that Lululemon Scuba and never come back up for air.”

      What is this. What does this word mean.

      1. It’s a fancy name for a….hooded sweatshirt.

        1. an expensive hooded sweatshirt

          1. It’s equipment, not clothing!
            *Forget if I saw that on Under Armour or Skins…*

      2. Lululemon is a brand. They are famous for having inadvertently sold see-through yoga pants to unsuspecting women. The outrage was loltastic.

        1. Also famous for saying it didn’t want larger women wearing its products. So a person complaining about sweat-shaming supports corporate fat-shamers. She should turn in her SJW card

      3. Yeah, the fact that she has to status-signal by gratuitous brand-name dropping basically means she deserves whatever shame she gets.

    10. I’ve been known to engage in hypersensitive twat-shaming.

    11. A stranger tries to make some small talk. Someone is left feeling shamed and wanting to hide because of an obvious fact about their appearance. They complain about it on the internet and invent a new form of victimization.

      But it’s libertarians that are antisocial and so poorly adjusted that we have the emotional maturity of rebellious adolescents?

      Whatever. These types of people must have always existed, they just have an outlet now.

    12. In a telephone interview with The Washington Post, Roe elaborated on her plight. As presented in her piece, the woman who had “shamed” her had barely spoken to her. Was the woman’s intent really malicious ? and, as Roe implied, the result of sexism?

      Maybe I’m hypersensitive,” Roe said. “But I kind of feel like there’s nuances in how people communicate. I feel like I’m a good reader and judge of intentions.”

      Or a sweaty cow.

      1. Three times!

    13. In a telephone interview with The Washington Post, Roe elaborated on her plight. As presented in her piece, the woman who had “shamed” her had barely spoken to her. Was the woman’s intent really malicious ? and, as Roe implied, the result of sexism?

      Maybe I’m hypersensitive,” Roe said. “But I kind of feel like there’s nuances in how people communicate. I feel like I’m a good reader and judge of intentions.”

      Or a sweaty cow.

    14. In a telephone interview with The Washington Post, Roe elaborated on her plight. As presented in her piece, the woman who had “shamed” her had barely spoken to her. Was the woman’s intent really malicious ? and, as Roe implied, the result of sexism?

      Maybe I’m hypersensitive,” Roe said. “But I kind of feel like there’s nuances in how people communicate. I feel like I’m a good reader and judge of intentions.”

      Or a sweaty cow.

      1. “Maybe I’m hypersensitive”

        Ain’t no maybe about it.

        I feel like I’m a good reader and judge of intentions.

        And I feel you aren’t.

        Checkmate.

        1. Ah, but if she feels that you feel that she is? You wouldn’t invalidate her lived experience, would you?

          1. It’s just what I feel like doing. And that trumps thinking, ethics, fairness or smoking crystal meth

    15. I know someone who has bipolar personality disorder. Not badly, but any personality disorder will poison all of their human interactions/relationships.

      Her most notable problem is that she misinterprets other people’s motives and thinks she is at the center of everything that happens everywhere, all the time. Being overly self-absorbed is a symptom of nearly all personality disorders / mental illnesses.

      I have witnessed her being greeted many times by someone just saying hello or good morning etc. and then, after the greeter is gone, ask me why that person was upset with her or why they talked to her disrespectfully. Sometimes the greetings or small-talk conversations were genuinely friendly or very casual. It took me a while to figure out what was going on with her. She’s nuts.

      Sweat shaming. Uh huh.

      Keep in mind that these social justice warriors/victim mongers/grievance mongers have personality disorders. If you dig around in their blogs usually they will admit to it thinking that it gives them victim cred and thus more credibility. Actually, it does the opposite.

      1. You’re talking about me, aren’t you? I knew it! Why are you obsessed with straffinrun, Suthen?

      2. Bipolar isn’t a personality disorder, and as someone that is bipolar, what you are describing doesn’t have anything to do with bipolar issues. To be bipolar, you have to have manic episodes, and when the episode is over, you go back to a fairly normal baseline.

        What you are describing sounds much closer to histrionic personality disorder. Many people that are bipolar have comorbid personality disorders, so she may very well have both, but the problem you are pointing out has nothing to do with her being bipolar or not. Bipolar is also a target for self diagnosis, a lot of people think they have it because they are irritable or have mood swings, without knowing anything about it.

      3. Her most notable problem is that she misinterprets other people’s motives and thinks she is at the center of everything that happens everywhere, all the time.

        What elected position does she hold? Because she sounds like every narcissistic politician (but I repeat myself) ever.

        Seriously, does this not sound exactly like Hillary!?

        I have witnessed her being greeted many times by someone just saying hello or good morning etc. and then, after the greeter is gone, ask me why that person was upset with her or why they talked to her disrespectfully.

    16. What the fuck is a “running cap”?

    17. You look like you haven’t exercised in a long time.

    18. Stop feeling shame at every turn and you’ll be fine.

    19. “Are woman not allowed to sweat anymore?” Elizabeth Kennedy wrote in Australia’s The Glow last month. “Were we ever? While men are idolised and salivated over in every spritzed photograph, I have never seen an advertisement with women jogging where at any point she is even the slightest bit shiny.

      Oh really?

      Not one time?

      (yes, those women aren’t jogging, but they’re exercising: the point still stands)

  5. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car. The raccoon attacked the driver, who crashed into a tree.

    This really should have been Florida.

    1. He gets an A+ for ingenuity.

      F- for execution.

      1. So, overall an average effort

    2. According to the story in the link, it’s all a hoax anyway.

      1. Yeah, it is a hoax, but it is a great one.

        Anyone who has ever tried to get a coon out of their garbage can knows that they aren’t going to go along willingly.

    3. Florida Man! We got another, go stamp his passport

  6. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car. The raccoon attacked the driver, who crashed into a tree.

    Florida Man, you better step up your game.

    1. Florida Man, you better step up your game.

      This was my thought as well – though I am somewhat terrified the Florida Man Disease is leap-frogging state borders and could end up unannounced anywhere at any time.

    2. Beat you by a minute.

    3. Florida Man, you better step up your game.

      Sung to the tune ‘Southern Man’

      1. You son of bitch! Fuck Neil Young!

        1. Seconded.

        2. Florida man
          better keep your head

          🙂

          1. oh and yes, f Neil Young

        3. A southern man don’t need him around anyhow.

  7. Cthulu For America: Voting for the Best Evil

    Choosing evil has never been morally problematic for the American electorate. They vote for varying levels of “evil” every November. If anything, we’ve learned from internal polling that candidates on offer have been edging into our core constituencies for the last few decades ? and are increasingly popular. How else can one explain Trump?

    While Cthulhu is indeed beyond mortal conception of morality, by human standards he still remains the greatest and best evil available on the electoral slate in 2016. He is willing to take stands that many of the candidates are too weak to fully voice or play out to their logical conclusions. Cthulhu does not play the all-too-familiar political games of shameless pandering. People respect that and have been responding positively.

    I’m sure you are familiar with the No Religious Test Clause: “no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.” This certainly applies to Cthulhu who is the only real god any human is likely to encounter or vote for.

    1. Is he running on the Elder Party line again?

      1. I’m assuming that the main plank of the Elder Party has something to do with Social Security or Medicare?

        1. The whippersnappers who care about those programs are waaay too young to be Elder Party members.

    2. I bet Cthulhu wouldn’t act like Putin’s bitch.

    3. SMOD looks down from above and laughs at Cthulu’s pandering to the pitiful earthlings.

      1. SMoD 2016: no policies, no politics, no people, no problem.

  8. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car.

    Time to up your game, Florida Man.

    1. Time to up your speed, Tonio.

    2. OMWC and Fist – your posts weren’t there when I started typing. Well-done, lads.

    3. Was the raccoon breathalyzed? If not, why not?

      1. Yes, it was breathalyzed – to start the car.

    1. “I don’t think it needs to be regulated but I think someone needs to be in that position of control.”

      A figureheadstone, as it were?

    2. I thought they spoke English in New Zealand.

      And.

      I think the girl with the hat at the end has a hickey.

    3. “I don’t think it needs to be regulated but I think someone needs to be in that position of control.”

      I don’t think Katrina knows what words mean.

    4. How do they know what the two middle letters are?

  9. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car. The raccoon attacked the driver, who crashed into a tree.

    Salvia? Was the raccoon on salvia?

    1. They make fairly good pets apparently, but what you’d have to do to get a critter to breathe into a tube would annoy even the most docile labrador.

      1. They make good pets for about a year; once reaching adulthood, they become difficult to maintain. They’re wild animals, and prone to biting.

    2. -1 for not calling out Florida Man in your post

    3. I don’t think coons have salvia. That is why they have to wash their food in the water.

      Right?

      1. I’m imagining hallucinating raccoons.

      2. I read that as saliva (spit) at first, too, but I think he’s referring to the similarly-spelled psychoactive plant salvia divinorum.

        1. Fcuking dslexia!

  10. Justice is served!

    Since 2010 Sotomayor has had interns “…running errands outside of the Courthouse…preparing lunch and snacks for the Justice, photocopying, and answering the phone…” ….and she pays them nothing. She’s the only justice who does this.

    Of course, earlier this year Sotomayor ruled it was illegal to have unpaid interns in Glatt v. Fox Searchlight Pictures, Inc. (2015).

    Sotomayor-do-as-i-say-not-as-I-do

    1. That’s how all Wise Latina’s treat underlings and no doubt how she was treated – so of course.

    2. I’ve noticed a trend where people who are obsessed with race or gender get a warped view of the privileges and behaviors of the other race or gender. When they get a position of power they attempt to behave in the ways they believe those they are obsessed with do, but because their idea of how the other acts is so warped their behavior ends up being way over the deep end unacceptable.

      1. I think IIIocust nails it pretty well.

        I have noticed this many times.

    3. One rule for the Party Members, one for the Proles.

      1. Some animals are more equal than others.

      2. More one for Leviathan’s priesthood and another for the filthy, despicable merchant class.

    4. So she’s a caudilla?

      1. Is that Spanish for “cunt”?

    5. Sotomayor is an imbecile and a disgrace. Did you see her confirmation hearings, and how she repeatedly used words incorrectly? Plus that smug comment she made that being a Latina woman (isn’t that redundant?) gave her more insight and made her a better justice than a lowly white guy. Despicable twat.

      1. Sotomayor is an imbecile and a disgrace.

        And yet, not the worst Justice.

  11. …over concerns the wrong chemical had been prepared for the lethal injection.

    This is either a dodge or the worst run state in the union this side of Illinois.

    1. Anyone have some hemlock?

    2. Remember that this is not a standard, off-the-shelf concoction. Doctors won’t participate in this, and I’m guessing that spills over to many pharmacists, so that leaves some DOC employee with minimal training.

      Fun fact – this is one of the few times that serious drugs are legally sold without prescription. The state has of course exempted itself from the prescription requirements because docs won’t prescribe for executions.

    3. “Oh, what the heck! He’s going to die eventually!”

    4. Damn boys! Who ordered these bungee cords for the hanging?

  12. The sex was never, ever fun: My lessons in prostitution

    When we went to bed I found that I didn’t mind his hands on me. The first indicator was that I didn’t feel repulsed, as I always did. His hands were smooth but firm and slow in their movements. They were not invasive, not intrusive, and when he stroked me it was from the base of my neck to the curve of my calf; he seemed to adore my whole body with his hands. He did nothing to me physically to signify his domination, which was as unfamiliar as to frame the experience as unique in itself. When he gently parted my legs and entered me, I inadvertently let out a little gasp. Then he muttered in my ear: ‘You don’t have to pretend you like it’. That was when the nature of the experience changed.

    This was a very well-mannered man. Apparently decent, he seemed thoughtful. Besides the obvious point of his purchasing me, he was not overtly disrespectful (it would not have been possible to feel arousal for him if he was) but as for the way he viewed me and my part in this experience: he thought I wouldn’t like it. He thought he knew I wouldn’t like it, and, like so many others before him, his arousal was dependent on the fact that I would not.

    1. He thought he knew I wouldn’t like it, and, like so many others before him, his arousal was dependent on the fact that I would not.

      Is that really true or do they just assume you don’t “like” it because it’s business?

      1. Guessing it depends on the client/vendor relationship.

        1. I’m not giving Salon a click, but she is making some pretty big assumptions.

      2. So, is it rape-rape, then?

      3. I think she’s making a huge assumption about him.

        his arousal was dependent on the fact that I would not.

        And how does she know that?

        1. Because he’s a filthy white cis-het exploiter.

        2. She doesn’t, she is just assuming – assuming the article is even real.

      4. It is entirely possible that he gets off on her not liking it but it is much more probable that it does not matter to him if she likes it or not, she is just a means to his end.

      5. “Is that really true or do they just assume you don’t “like” it because it’s business?”

        See my comment above regarding sweat-shaming.

        1. The book got a positive blurb by none other than Catharine A. MacKinnon. Based on the reviews alone, it’s clear that it’s nothing more than a 19th Century “White Slavery” screed updated for this generation.

          I’m guessing Ms. Moran gets Somaly Mam-ed in the near future.

    2. Besides the obvious point of his purchasing me,

      Sweetie, you were not a chattel slave. Nobody purchased you. You entered into a service contract with a client.

  13. Hurricane Joaquin vs. SUPER STORM SANDY.

    1. By their powers combined, they’ll form… Captain Planet! Er… Captain AGW? A really big hurricane? Something?

      Anyways, one of these days the Great Colonial Hurricane of 1635 is going to be repeated (Category 4 hurricane into Long Island, Category 3 into Providence, RI). Or maybe the Category 4/5 hurricane that there’s evidence hit New Jersey somewhere around the year 1250.

      1. Yeah, but these are CLIMATECHANGEHURRICANES. They’re a lot worse or something.

        1. No matter how many times the National Hurricane Center says that the pre-satellite era (1960s) can’t be compared to the modern era in looking at the number/strength of hurricanes, people do that anyways.

          Fun fact: The 2005 season, mostly blamed on AGW, had 28 storms, breaking the record of 21 from 1933. All 21 storms recorded in 1933 crossed 60 degrees west longitude. In 2005, 21 storms crossed 60 west. We have absolutely no clue about the number of storms that occurred in a given year outside of the last ~50 years.

          1. After Hurricane Katrina in 2005, we kept hearing about how, thanks to climate change, there would be MOAR HERIKANZ every year and they would ALL be THIS BAD!!!!

            Fast forward a decade. In that time, there have been exactly ZERO category 4 or 5 hurricanes reaching landfall.

            Clearly, we need to do something drastic right now to stop AGW.

          2. Using the Beaufort Scale on old documents would give you an approximation.

            1. But even then, there has to have been a ship that recorded it, and that didn’t sink because of it. And there’s virtually no chance said ship sampled the most powerful winds in a system.

      2. Sure. It’s been 26 years since Hugo. Eventually one of these storms isn’t going to curve out into the Outer Banks. Also, we are probably to for a major flood here in SC.

        1. The latest models are trending a lot less towards the US coast and a lot more on a course out to sea, which is good. North Carolina’s seeing enough flooding now as it is, without a hurricane.

      3. I am too lazy to look it up now, but a hurricane hit the Washington DC area during the Revolutionary War, if I remember correctly, and hampered the British pretty badly temporarily giving us a leg up.

        Then there is this: http://oceanservice.noaa.gov/n…..racks.html

        1. I think that was the war of 1812…

    1. Han Solo was the judge?

      1. Or that random imperial admiral that Vader had to air-choke?

    2. But every other made-up religion is?

  14. Shortly after his promotion during a leadership shake-up, an assistant director at the Secret Service urged the agency to release confidential information about a Congressional critic, Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), once applying to, and being rejected from, the Seceet Service.

    C’mon, https://reason.com/blog doesn’t get a hat tip for this?

  15. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car.

    Florida Man would have used an alligator.

    1. Or a python?

      1. Python hunt registration is today. I can’t wait to get out of work.

        1. I thought you were being cheeky until I googled it.

        2. What kind of firearm do you use for python hunting?

          1. Part of me wants to say the most poetic gun would be a Colt Python. Just for the symmetry.

            1. Not an Desert Eagle or some other animal that actually eats snakes?

          2. It is less python hunting and more like python wrestling…

          3. #4 shot in a 12 gauge is pretty effective on snakes.

            I understand those fuckers have started showing up in Louisiana. I doubt they make it past us. They will be hunted and eaten.

          4. Last time I carried a 12 gauge. This time I’m carry a GP-100 with .38 snake shot. My cousin is bringing a .410 judge

            1. Light shotgun or handgun with shotshells seem like the way to go.

              I have a curious boner for the .410 Judge. Doubt I’ll ever get one, but they jiggle my handle.

              1. Best home defence wheelgun I’ve ever had. 4 Winchester Defender rounds with a .45 Colt jacketed HP for the final shot. Things just come apart when you shoot them

          5. If you can’t choke a python with your bare hand(s), you need to practice more.

      2. Because he’s too dumb to realize they are exotherms?

  16. A British newsagent has been granted permission to sell alcohol, ending a rare 120-year ban in the last remaining “dry” village in England, officials said on Wednesday.

    Bournville, a suburb of Birmingham, central England, was founded at the end of the 19th century by the Cadbury family ? owners of the famous chocolate brand ? who were Quakers.

    more

  17. The Hillary Clinton campaign is starting to fear a Joe Biden run.

    Will he be wearing jogging shorts like her husband?

  18. By a vote of 277-151, the House of Representatives passed a spending measure to fund the government through December 11 without cuts to Planned Parenthood sought by conservatives.

    #istandwithpp worked! it really worked!

      1. +1 Triumph the Insult Comic Dog?

  19. World’s sexiest computer hacker claims she could attack massive corporations using her BOOBS

    “My typical clothing does not leave room to hide anything- which is all the more reason they would not be suspicious of me.”

    1. Chinese cyber-sexpot says she would distract security guards with her ‘upper body’, before sneaking inside to deliver the killer blow

      I thought she was a hacker, not a hitman

    2. That chick posts on Reddit, and the outfits in that article are pretty tame compared to her usual fare.

        1. Marginally SFW, I’d say.

          Now, *that* is a “thong”.

        2. What the hell are those things on her chest where her tiny Asian boobs should be?

    3. Absurdly large implants are not attractive

  20. High Desert ‘Maxipad Bandit’ Leaves Store Owner Bemused

    But what makes this story unusual is what the suspect was wearing in that good, clear surveillance video that police say made the difference: a man pulling in front of an auto-parts store in Apple Valley Monday after it had closed, very clearly wearing something white on his face.

    “Right away everybody started saying we should call this guy the maxipad bandit,” said store owner Mark Wedell.

    The video shows the suspect wearing it as he breaks into the store with a piece of wood and he continues to wear it as he helps himself to what’s inside.

    “Fills his arms with the battery chargers, as many as he could get, slowly walks over helps himself to some flashlights off the counter,” Wedell said.

    1. Very clever. A *tampon* wouldn’t be much of a disguise.

    2. When I was 11 or so, I skinned my knee and elbows playing football in the front yard with my friends. I couldn’t find any band aids so I used this white cottony thing with tape on the back that I found in the bathroom. My friends thought they would make nice knee pads so they asked for some too. When mom came home and pulled into the driveway and saw 6 boys wearing these bloodied things taped all over our bodies, she was severely unhappy.

      1. When I was a tyke I used to take baths with my Playmobil, who had a neat little rowboat. Underneath the sinkI found these really cool small flotation devices to tie to the side – er, tampons. My mom was amused.

        1. Quit pulling the string! I’m not an SST racer!

  21. I am narrow gazing the alt text.

  22. Canada farmers, upset over trade talks, take cows to Parliament

    Unhappy Canadian dairy farmers parked dozens of tractors in central Ottawa and walked their cows down the main street opposite Parliament on Tuesday to protest trade talks they said could cripple them.

    Canada is one of 12 Pacific Rim countries trying to nail down a trade deal in Atlanta this week. The United States, New Zealand and Australia want Canada to start dismantling a system of tariffs that keep domestic prices high and imports expensive.

    Farmers said they would be flooded by cheap foreign milk if the so-called supply management system were to end. The issue could cost the ruling Conservatives crucial rural votes in what looks set to be a hotly contested election on Oct 19.

    1. I don’t support their motives, but they should have stampeded their cattle through parliament.

      1. Kinky.

    2. Basically they’re saying USA, Australia and NZ make cheap foreign milk.

      Protectionists are such assholes.

      1. It’s not milk, Rufus, it’s POISON! Full of hormones, and stuff! You don’t want to drink that, and they are protecting your very life. Because, let’s face it, both of us are so dumb we’d drink it anyway, and turn into cows from all the hormones.

        I just love the blind spots of regulatory capture. By now, most people up here understand Uber is better than taxi companies. Some can apply the same principle to dairy cartel, and see that it in fact fits (arguments against are exactly the same). Try it with health care, and oops, brain shuts down.

  23. C’mon STEVE SMITH is still around:

    Why are we the only human species still alive?

    Our own species appeared around 200,000 years ago, at a time when several others existed. Yet today, only we remain. Why did we manage to survive when all of our closest relatives have died out?

    To start with, it’s worth pointing out that extinction is a normal part of evolution. In that sense it may not seem surprising that human-like species ? known as “hominins” ? have died out.

    But it is not obvious that the world only has room for one species of human. Our closest living relatives are the great apes, and there are 6 species alive today: chimpanzees, bonobos, two species of gorilla and two species of orangutan.

    1. I suspect that we killed them off, either deliberately or through competition for habitat. It appears that we interbred to some degree with Neanderthals, so in that sense they aren’t truly extinct.

      Part of me is glad that we don’t know the details because I suspect there was slavery and genocide.

      1. I don’t know, I think knowing the full history could wipe the smug off some people’s faces, if what you suspect is true.

        1. I had thought that too, but then I thought about how the reparations crowd refuses to acknowledge that slavery existed in pretty much every culture, including the noble biblical hebrews who were both slavers and the enslaved according to their own history.

      2. Yeah, I suspect “superior weaponry” is part of the reason.

    2. Why did we manage to survive when all of our closest relatives have died out?

      The ultimate form of privilege.

    3. A few days ago someone mentioned an interesting theory: That the domestication of dogs may have given us an edge.

      Of course there is no reason to believe that other homo species did not domesticate dogs as well…or, as I think about it, dogs domesticated us and possibly them.

      Another complicating factor is that there was probably a good bit of interbreeding. neither Cro magnon nor Neandertal are extinct any more than dinosaurs are.

    4. Why? FTTW. Survival of the fittest/most ruthless.

  24. Hey, did yall hear about that guy that used a racoon to beat his breathalyzer?

    1. Some dude in Florida, right?

  25. Future Speaker McCarthy admits Benghazi is nothing but a political witch hunt.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..political/

    BENGHAZI! DERP! BLUB! ARGLEBARGLE!

    1. He didn’t really want to be Speaker anyway.

    2. Wasn’t someone supposed to take you to the zoo?

      1. I heard retards like the zoo.

    3. Well, no, he said that gathering proof of what a scumbag Hillary is hurt her poll numbers.

      1. See? Political! PWN’D!!11!!!!!

  26. Today in history trivia: leper kings

    Baldwin IV had leprosy and was king of Jerusalem during the 12th century for 11 years. He is portrayed in a mask in the movie Kingdom of Heaven.

    Otani Yshitsugu was a Japanese warlord with leprosy who died in 1600.

    Cool/gross tale about him from wiki:
    “?tani Yoshitsugu is well known in Japan for two main aspects: his leprosy, and his friendship.[1] Supposedly he was one who put friendship before anything (although obviously such a subjective matter is hard to determine), and it may have been in Korea that Ishida and ?tani, working together, formed their legendary friendship. There is even an anecdote concerning this friendship, which goes something like this: A secret tea party was being held, and all those invited were passing around a cup of tea. As ?tani Yoshitsugu took a sip, some pus from his face dropped into the cup. Yoshitsugu discovered this, but too late: the cup was already being passed around. The people who took sips after this all had horrified expressions on their faces, but when it came to Mitsunari’s turn, he calmly drank all the remaining tea, pus and all. Yoshitsugu was amazed: “This Mitsunari is an extraordinary man!” “

    1. Cool story, bro. Will miss you when you go to basic. Good luck.

    2. Fortunately for them that is not how you catch leprosy.

      I suspect that in ancient times leprosy was a catch-all name for a number of flesh destroying microbes / conditions.

    3. Tea partiers, eh? “Don’t shed on me.” And so forth…

    4. I think this tea needs a little more Thalidomide.

    1. What ever happened to the Obamabot apparatchik that was caught doing that with both dogs and children?

      I can’t find it now. Has it been scrubbed?

  27. 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man

    Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle. Sure, fashion, technology and architecture change over time, as do standards of etiquette, not to mention ways of carrying oneself in the public sphere. But the modern man will take the bits from the past that strike him as relevant and blend them with the stuff of today.

    1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

    2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

    3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

    etc.

    1. 16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

      25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

      1. People keep claiming that’s a contradiction, but I think the bigger contradiction is this:

        26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

        16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

        So the modern man weeps uncontrollably but thinks he’ll be able to hold off a hardened criminal for more than 0.25 seconds.

        1. The real modern man throws his wife at the intruder to distract her while he finds a weapon, or runs away.

          Either way, the modern man knows how to buy time.

        2. …and doesn’t need a gun.

          Who is this fucken retard and his gibbery-gobbly rubbish?

          1. ….BECAUSE HIS FISTS ARE LETHAL WEAPONS, amiright?

            1. Or other parts of his anatomy? Warty knows what I’m talking about!

        3. I guess the modern man would offer parts of his anatomy for the criminal to use hoping to spare his woman from any trauma.

          1. Typical cisgendered shitlord assuming the burglar is male. What about lesbian burglars?

            1. Pussy burglars

              1. better than a Turd Burglar

        4. He cries when the criminal breaks into his house and begs him not to kill them because there are no guns in the house. The criminal, dumbfounded and slightly embarrassed by how pathetic this man is, awkwardly stares at his feet and mutters an apology while the wife escapes.

          1. [golf clap]

        5. I’d think the contradiction is that the modern man “cries often” but also “acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.”

          Seriously, I do not know if this is satire or not.

          1. It’s a stoic, manly crying. Like John Boehner

          2. There is one rule of manhood concerning crying and only one.

            It is OK to cry during Old Yeller, Stand by Me, or The Wrath of Khan.

            1. You can shed a single, manly tear when listening to Lou Gehrig’s farewell address.

              Anything more than that makes you a bitch.

            2. According to Ron Swanson, it’s also acceptable to shed a tear when visiting the Grand Canyon.

        1. Extra! Extra! Vito Corleone shot!

      2. dissonance!

        Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago.

        vs.

        25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

      3. 16. I sleep closet to the window because my wife wants to be closer to the bathroom. If an intruder comes through the door, I’ll have an extra second to draw a bead on the ducker before I shoot him.

      4. This is attitude is why we are in such deep shit as a nation. Russia, Iran and ISIS look at shit like this and know that we as a nation have lost the will to live and are easy pickings. Just hope that I live to see the last moment of futile realization on the face of one of these genetically male creatures before he’s exterminated by NORK paratroopers.

        1. The pussies may be in ascendancy now, but the pendulum always swings.

        2. Meh, let them think that. They’d be proven wrong.

          1. Maybe if the military pulled off a coup against our increasingly effete elites in order to finally win, but that’s a very dangerous road to travel.

    2. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse-

      Stop right there.

      1. Why do you hate shoe fetishists, Fist?

        1. The modern man is an anagram of Imelda Marcos.

    3. I guessed wrong on which moron rag published this twaddle.

      1. I’m actually amazed it’s in the Times. They still usually have some standards.

      2. ah-ha! Fooled again.

        Speaking of a-ha. They have a new album out.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SSsETFmYXQ

        1. Every one of those song names would work as porno titles.

          1. go on…

            1. Nothing is keeping you here
              The Doors Ajar

              The others need some imagination, but you can do it.

        2. “Take On Me” has made me a little depressed ever since the Nationals let Michael Morse go. 2012 was good times.

      3. Yeah, I was sure it had to be Salon.

    4. You’d have to be a man first before you can be a “modern” man.

    5. Fitter. Happier. More productive.
      Comfortable. Not drinking too much.
      Regular exercise at the gym 3 days a week.
      Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries.

      At ease, eating well
      No more microwave dinners and saturated fats
      A patient better driver. A safer car. Baby smiling in back seat.
      Sleeping well. No bad dreams. No paranoia.
      Careful to animals. Never washing spiders down the plughole.

    6. 1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

      This is beyond stupid. I like shoes and buy them for myself frequently and I don’t know which brands run big or small.

      Modern man has two options. He’s either gay or has a foot fetish.

      1. FYI: Real men don’t buy shoes for their spouses and their spouses don’t want them to. If my husband bought me a pair of shoes I’d divorce him.

        1. “Hey baby, I was idly hanging out at the mall and saw these cute kitten heels that would go with that pencil skirt that accentuates your most daring features. Let’s cuddle.”

          -Modern man

    7. 6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

      Isn’t this terrible advice? Doesn’t that wear down the battery?

      1. It does ruin the battery PDQ.

        I know this for a fact. Myself and another person got the exact same phone model at the same time. I was zealous in disabling any process I wasn’t actively using and in not charging until the phone shut off from low battery. The other guy was zealous about charging every night. He had to swap devices at the two year mark because his phone couldn’t keep a charge for more than a few hours. I kept my phone for three or four more years until I was only getting a day on a charge. This annoyed me into changing devices.

        I’d seen signs of this type of effect before, but this was the first time we had a perfect 1-1 comparison to control for device type and limit it to user behaviour.

    8. More demoralization.

      Oh, the New York Times.

      I have to say that bit about knowing women’s shoes is pure unadulterated horseshit. It has no basis in reality whatsoever.

    9. I agree with number 4.

  28. Today in linguistic trivia: The river Jordan gets its name from the Hebrew word for “descend”; appropriate since it empties into the Dead Sea, the lowest point in the region.

  29. The Stupid Party strikes again.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..political/

    1. And that is going to be the new Speaker of the House. Really says all you need to know about the Republican party, doesn’t it?

    2. They’re both the Stupid Party. You’ll have to be more specific.

      1. Well one is evil-stupid and the other is mostly stupid-evil. There is a very slight difference in priorities.

  30. I’m sure this was covered yesterday but I missed it:

    Peak Salon?

    I’m a pedophile, you’re the monsters: My week inside the vile right-wing hate machine
    My pedophilia essay outraged the right. My attempt to humanize a real problem brought out their nastiest rage

    Most notes were from people thanking me for my willingness to shed light on a little-understood issue that few scholars or experts want to approach. A few people admitted to me their own secret attractions for children, how they felt alone and uncertain how to process their feelings. I directed them toward VirPed; membership growth, which has been fairly steady since I joined over a year ago, has swelled over the last few days. What really surprised me was how many women confessed pedophilic desires, which is often thought to be an exclusively male predisposition. Others have contacted me to work with them on anti-child abuse and pedophilia-related projects. All necessary steps toward what I set out to achieve: a bridge between the celibate pedophile community and the non-pedophile population, setting an example for pedophiles who may not realize they aren’t doomed to molest kids, and creating an environment where we can all work together to end child sexual abuse.

    1. It’s a known fact that this guy used to post at a pro-molestation website run by actual child molesters and he actually admitted this in the original article:

      In the midst of that dark era in my life, I discovered an unhealthy pedophile forum. Nothing illegal was happening there, but many of its most influential members were pro-contacters, meaning they believed that sex with children was theoretically OK and supported the elimination of age of consent laws. That forum still exists and I won’t name it here, but suffice it to say, I found myself taking up the same pro-contacter chants, if only to feel like I belonged somewhere. At the time it was all that was available in terms of an actual pedophile community, and I had nothing left to lose by joining the cause, misguided though it was, and even decided to out myself on that forum. Over the ensuing years, though, I was often at odds with the pro-contacters and flitted in and out of their clique; I wanted desperately to be friends with people who shared my sexual orientation, even if they held crazy beliefs, but I could never quite reconcile with their viewpoint.

      This guy used to post in support of child molestation on a forum filled with pedophiles. Even if he’s never raped anyone, at the very least he’s complicit in supporting an actual rape culture.

    2. I’m assuming this is Lena Dunham drivel? I refuse to click through and find out.

      1. No. It’s some pedo named Todd Nickerson who claims he’s not a monster because he’d never act on his sexual attraction to children, but people found his posts on a pedophile forum where he speaks in support of hanging around children and molestation.

        So he claims that he wasn’t really in favor of molestation but just wanted to ‘belong’ to the community.

        The community of pedophile rapists.

    3. It seems like research into how to destroy libidos would be a good thing for these situations. Find out your tastes aren’t aging with you like a normal person, pop into the clinic for surgery/drug regime. No more struggling with yourself, just going on with your life and hobbies.

      1. They pretty much have that down. They forced Alan Turing to submit to so-called chemical castration when they found out he was a homo.

        1. Then why isn’t this on offer to pedophiles? Seriously, it should be a charity.

          “Have bad thoughts about children? Get Chemically Castrated and get on with your life. Never worry about harming innocents again!”

          1. I am fairly sure it doesn’t work to curb the urges. I think that requires a minimum of full surgical castration.

            1. I am fairly sure it doesn’t work to curb the urges.

              If it did, Turing would probably still be alive today.

              1. Belay that. He would have at least made it to the early 1990s though…

      2. Y’all are assuming that the people behind this want to solve the problem. They don’t. They want to normalize gibberish thinking; that pedophilia is ok, that all men are rapists, defending yourself is bad, racism is an inherent trait of white people, hate speech isn’t free speech, raising yourself up is bad, etc. etc.

        “No matter how much information you give the useful idiot they are unable to draw a sensible conclusion. This way they are unable to defend themselves, their families, or their country.”
        – paraphrased from Yuri Bezmenov.

  31. Today in military trivia: Army Ranger School had a desert phase of training at the Dugway Proving Grounds in Utah from 1985 to 1991. It was later moved to Fort Bliss, Texas and then discontinued completely in 1995. Ranger school still has a swamp phase, even though the US has spent a lot of time in the past 20 years fighting in deserts and very little time fighting in swamps.

    1. Well, they are suppose to train for the next war, not the last… trying to think of a swampy country…. The Netherlands?

      1. trying to think of a swampy country

        Lotta swamps on the planet. Not a bad idea at all to have a base for training to fight in them.

    2. Well, they still do snow/mountain training up at Fort Drum, don’t they?

    3. Ranger protip! “Swamp” rhymes with “damp.”

      1. so you pronounce it dah-mp?

    4. Yeah, but did you see Southern Comfort? Those swamps are deadly, man.

    1. Thus creating more publicity and giving his views a wider discussion than if they had just issued a visa and ignored him.

    2. Australia seems to be vying for “most petty country” with the UK these days

    1. FAKE. SKANDUL.

  32. These stupid security questions rarely apply to me.

    ‘What was your favorite movie in high school?’ ‘What is your favorite children’s book?’ ‘What is your dream job?’

    What the fuck is that?

    1. Apple asks the dumbest hipster-douche questions.

      1. I just make up answers and store them in Lastpass. But yeah, those questions are retarded.

    2. I use the same response for every security question

      1. Buckaroo Banzai

    3. Deep Throat, Lolita, and porn star.

  33. ‘White friends, pay for my therapy’: Asian woman wants white people to pay for her treatment for stress after years of ‘institutional racism’

    1. Rinna Rem, 29, says she suffers ‘institutional racism’ in Portland, Oregon
      Thai-Cambodian spends $100 a month on therapy to deal with stress of it
      She set up a crowdfunding page to pay for the treatment and told white people: ‘It’s your turn to pay’
      Asian-American has already raised nearly $1,500 and says she will keep increasing her target while she continues to suffer abuse

      Yeah, I bet she will.

      And Portland? What a bunch of bullshit.

      1. People actually gave her money?

      2. There are a lot of white people in Portland, and white people are the worst, so this is believable.

        1. Yeah, I can see this succeeding way more in Portlandia than, say, Saint Louis or New York.

        2. Yes. The biggest enemy of white people are other (Progressive) white people. They assume their beliefs will ultimately protect them from the discrimination they advocate–but it won’t.

      3. I dated a Thai-Burmese girl in high school.

        Just thought it was relevant in a sad way.

        1. You mean you colonized a Thai-Burmese victim.

      4. While I condemn her on moral grounds I have to applaud her scam artistry. She knows that bu publicizing this that she’ll get pushback which she can then use to attract more guilt money.

        1. And since she’s ripping off progressives, I say spread it far and wide. I hope she gets rich beggaring the idiots.

        2. She’s got the self-hating dimwits nailed. I sometimes wish I were that ruthless.

          1. I sometimes wish I were that ruthless.

            But since you are not, you give people ruth?

            I am reading Sir Nigel by Arthur Conan Doyle. It is about a 14th Century English Knight. They repeatedly use the word “ruth”. It is the thing you lack if you are “ruthless”.

      5. Wait – $100 a month on therapy? What is that, like, one hour?

        1. Her “therapy” is a relaxing mani-pedi at the nearest Vietnamese nail salon, where she can bitch about the honkeys to a sympathetic nail tech.

          At least that’s what my wife does.

          1. “Cucumber water for customer only!”

            1. “Oh, she tell knock-knock joke!”

              1. No, she just been rewatching Better Call Saul

                1. When is Season 2, anyway?

    2. I’m glad to see her bravely fighting the stereotype that Asian girls are hot.

      1. I know, glad I clicked before I made a joke about giving her some therapy.

      2. it would take a lot of drinks for me to enter that bamboo hut

        1. I think you mean jade gate…*clicks link*…..Nope! Bamboo hut it is!

          1. Unrelated factoid – The Jade Gate is an actual place that marked the limit of Imperial China and the start of Kashgar and Dzungaria along the silk road.

          2. Oh, grass dirt horse!

    3. How can you claim institutional racism when your ethnic group is one of the wealthiest in the country?

      1. White. Privilege.

  34. More military trivia: Ethiopia was one of the many nations that fought with the US during the Korean War. They were the only nation in the coalition that did not surrender a single man to the communists. The unit, called the Kagnew Battalion, was later persecuted when communists took over Ethiopia in the mid 70s. The unit’s history was suppressed because it was embarrassing to the new leaders that the country’s best and most famous unit had fought *against* communism.

    1. And they didn’t stage an Ethiopian Red Dawn to fight off the commies? For shame.

      1. They did, but it took them until 1991.

        Of course, they just replaced Communism with Socialism, so they still have one of the lowest per capita GDPs in the world.

        1. Socialism will work once they get the right Top Men.

          1. Top Trans-Women, you repulsive cis-phallocrat

            1. Phallocrat ! I must remember this in the future.

  35. Colin Powell says the GOP has become too conservative but stays a Republican ‘because it annoys them’

    Even after supporting the election of President Obama two times, former Secretary of State Colin Powell said he’s still a Republican and he keeps his registration that way for a reason ? to annoy them.

    The ‘them’ in this context, Powell explained, is a Republican party that has moved too far to the right.

    ‘I think the party has shifted much further right than where the country is and it should be obvious to party leaders that they cannot keep saying the things that they are saying and doing the things that they were doing and hope to be successful in national level elections in the future, not just 2016,’ Colin said at today’s Washington Ideas Forum taking place in downtown D.C.

    ‘So I want to continue to be a Republican because it annoys them,’ he said, grinning.

    1. Is the Daily Mail cherry picking or does Powell really want to talk about this and not the complete collapse of U.S. Foreign Policy under the guy he supported over the Republicans?

    2. Republican party that has moved too far to the right.

      Citation needed.

      1. Nothing says “right-wing” like funding Planned Parenthood.

    3. Powell really has an over-inflated sense of his relevancy if he honestly believes that claiming to be a Republican annoys any of the GOP leadership. The left still considers him to be a traitor because of his UN speech, and his opinions stopped holding weight with anyone on the right the second he endorsed Obama as President.

      This is a grown man who commanded in Vietnam, served as CJCS and SecState, and the biggest accomplishment he supposedly has to brag about today is trolling Republicans. He’s a great example of someone who manages to still get attention only because he has connections to the DC elite, not for any actual substance to his ideas.

  36. Putin’s Economic Might Is Withering Away

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/…..-era-nadir

    US kicking his ass much to the chagrin of many H&R “libertarians”.

    1. “Businessmen and ordinary people have formed strong negative expectations,” says former Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin, compounding the impact of sanctions and the plunge in oil prices. “That induces capital outflows and leads to greater economic contraction.”

      Even if the economy recovers in the next few years, growth will be so slow that Russia’s share of world output will still shrink to the lowest level since the collapse of the Soviet Union, erasing the gains of President Vladimir Putin’s 15-year rule, he says.

      Already, budget pressures forced the government to cut or delay parts of the 20-trillion-ruble military modernization that Putin has made a top priority in his drive to rebuild Russia’s global might.

      US Dollar is supreme, energy output #1 now, exports climbing, deficit falling, etc.

      WHOOPIN’ ASS the right way!

    2. Oh, for the love of… when the fuck have you EVER seen non-troll posts here supporting Putin?

      1. Remember, shriek posts on an alternate dimension H&R that only exists in his head. Too much coke damage.

        1. It’s almost as fun as the alternate H&R John posts on where we’re all SJW Christophobes trying to annihilate Judeo-Christian culture so that we can socially signal our worth to our Prog buddies.

          1. What happened to John, anyways? Haven’t seen him in a while.

            1. Maybe he quit working for the government and got a real job where he actually like works and stuff.

            2. He takes breaks sometimes but it’s also possible we made him mad.

              He was driven insane by gay marriage so I kind of kept picking fights with him because it was hilarious.

              1. John is working on the Huckabee campaign full time.

                1. So he’ll be back in about a month.

        2. He knows what we really believe.

      2. Ignore the troll

      3. Oh, for the love of… when the fuck have you EVER seen non-troll posts here supporting Putin?

        I see posts here all the time about how Putin is projecting strength and Obama is a wimpy leader who just got lucky when he killed bin Laden and Qaddaffi and who backed away from Syria like a modern Neville Chamberlain.

        1. Um, comparing a wimp to a bully is not necessarily supportive of the bully. It’s just pointing out that the wimp has no balls.

          1. He’s too retarded to understand the difference.

        2. Obama is a wimpy leader who just got lucky when he killed bin Laden and Qaddaffi

          How can you breathe with Obama cock so far down your throat? The guy in the mom jeans didn’t kill shit, you imbecile.

      4. Maybe he looked at the articles? I did a cursory scan for choice quotes some weeks ago, and there were real howlers there. Richman won, no surprise.

  37. Yikes, 134 comments at 9:26 am. /trembles with fear.

  38. Elizabeth Warren’s Intellectual Purge
    A Brookings scholar is found guilty of reporting inconvenient facts

    President Obama has let Elizabeth Warren veto presidential appointments, and the power rush seems to have gone to her head. Now the Massachusetts Senator has forced the resignation of a Brookings Institution economist because he dared to report that new financial regulations will cost investors.

    Robert Litan, a Democrat who has been affiliated with Brookings for decades, is nobody’s idea of a conservative. And he’s not philosophically opposed to financial regulation. He was among the first to endorse Ms. Warren’s proposal for an independent agency to protect financial customers. It was a terrible idea that has become worse in its execution. The 2010 Dodd-Frank law created the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and the rest is overbearing bureaucratic history. But the point is that Mr. Litan was an ally of Ms. Warren before her election to the Senate.

    1. Socialists are evil.

      News at 11.

      1. Warren isn’t even a legit socialist, just up-and-coming nomenklatura.

        1. Yeh. She likes to flip foreclosed houses for profit.

    2. The very fact they consistently silence the opposition is proof they can’t defend their idiotic beliefs. Plus, they don’t trust the great unwashed to make the ‘right’ choice.

  39. Parsing YouTube Evidence of Russian Strikes in Syria

    Perhaps the most contested footage was uploaded by the Russian Defense Ministry and showed what officials described as evidence of three strikes “against Islamic State terrorist organization positions in Syria.”

    However, an analysis of the topography shown in the video by a team of Russian bloggers who honed their craft parsing social media evidence of the war in Ukraine suggested that the strikes had taken place in a part of Syria controlled not by the Islamic State but by rival insurgent groups that oppose both Syria’s president, Bashar al-Assad, and the Islamic State.

  40. Random thoughts

    In the movie The Matrix, one of villains goes by Cypher, but in a brief bit of dialogue, he is called Mr. Reagan. A subtle swipe at Team Red?

    I find it odd that even hawkish politicians are reluctant to criticize Islam. They’re OK with killing them, but Islam is off limits.

    If you’re wondering why ISIS sometimes executes people by fire, here’s the reason:

    In a Shia hadith from Jafar As-Sadiq (the sixth imam and a descendant of Muhammad), the fourth caliph and first imam Ali says to a man who confesses to a homosexual act, “The Holy Prophet has prescribed three methods of dealing with the situation, you may choose any one of the three deaths ? by having the arms and feet tied and thrown from the cliff, being beheaded, or being burnt alive.”

    I suppose it must also be a Sunni hadith.

    1. “The Holy Prophet has prescribed three methods of dealing with the situation, you may choose any one of the three deaths ? by having the arms and feet tied and thrown from the cliff, being beheaded, or being burnt alive.”

      “Cake, then.”

    2. I find it odd that even hawkish politicians are reluctant to criticize Islam. They’re OK with killing them, but Islam is off limits.

      They’re becoming less pussified in Europe in this regard. Valls in France and Cameron in Britain have both been explicit that there are issues with radical Islam that need to be dealt with. Cameron actually condescendingly talked down to Obama this weekend when Obama tried his whole ‘this has nothing to do with Islam’ bullshit and Cameron told him that of course it did.

      1. And yet hate speech charges for those critics are a very real thing, even though for prominent people those charges don’t seem to stick as often. But the prosecution Geert Wilders for example, if nothing else was a tall glass of chilled speech served to the public.

        1. That’s why they put a scarf over their faces, light torches, and riot instead.

          http://www.dailystormer.com/an…..n-dresden/

          1. So critics of Islam are all a bunch of nazis?

            1. No, I think what he’s saying is that when people can’t even criticize a religion they are more likely to resort to violence. When you take away someone’s non-violent recourse, some of them will become violent.

              1. That and it is the only way to protest anonymously now.

            2. According to the newspapers. Makes me wonder – if you call a whole bunch of Germans “Nazis” for long enough, will they eventually say “fuck-it, we really are Nazis now”?

              1. I keep hoping that at some point the Germans will be desensitized to such accusations and associations made by others. Maybe they’ll even stop hating themselves when they look into the mirror one day. There’s some sort of patriotic obligation instilled into all young Germans to personally atone for Hitler.

                1. May that’s why Merkel wants to introduce a massive number of outsiders for them to hate INSTEAD of themselves.

      2. In the US politicians are reluctant to criticize Islam because someone will attempt to hold them to the same standards about other religions, and the politician class is scared of riling the priest class. Big religion is really a cartel.

  41. Random thought

    H and R is diverse. There’s plenty of variety when it comes to age, gender, sexuality, marital status, income, education, and religion.

    More military trivia: Various chemical and biological weapons were tested at the Dugway Proving Grounds. One test killed thousands of guinea pigs with anthrax. The officer in charge said “now we
    know what to do if we ever go to war against guinea pigs.”

    1. The officer in charge said “now we know what to do if we ever go to war against guinea pigs.”

      We’re going to war with Italian Police?

    2. H and R is diverse. There’s plenty of variety when it comes to age, gender, sexuality, marital status, income, education, and religion.

      Lie. Everybody here is white, male, straight, married to a stay-at-home wife, rich, college-educated and Christian. Like every other libertarian.

      1. Well, we pretty much are college educated, white, and I bet 85% men.

        Even Nicole is just a trucker named Jimbo who gets his kicks pretending to be a chick on the internet.

        1. HEY! Why are you trying to name shame me by pinning The Worst on us Jimbo’s?

        2. And 90% of us have a degree in law or a STEM field, which means we have a better grasp of logic than the average bear.

      2. Wait – you mean if I’d selected “Libertarian” at character creation I’d have been rich and had a stay-at-home wife?

        1. No, your parents had to do that for you, but that was their original sin, creating your character without the wealth and stay at home wife.

    3. I had a friend who worked at Argonne Nat.l Labs one sunmer during grad school. He kept seeing all these green saychels on peoples desks. When he asked about the prof he was working for said, “that’s my gas mask.”

      Friend says, “I didn’t get one of those.”

      Prof says, “If you see a guy wearing one of these running, try to keep up. “

      1. I worked at a company in the mid 90’s that had a giant data center with halon fire suppressant system.

        The operators’ desks were all at one end of the server room. The oxygen masks were all at the other. The operators never seemed to care that in the event of a fire they were never going to make it to the masks, so the rest of us ignored it as well.

          1. Far enough away that it wasn’t really an option either.

            No one was too worried though because the chance of a fire was remote and you can get operators pretty much anywhere. It wasn’t like they were developers or something.

        1. Huh. I work in a roughly 500 sq ft room with a halon system. Never seen an oxygen mask here…

          1. This was way bigger than that. Couple thousand square feet at least.

            I don’t know what the rules were. I just remember giggling when I saw the safety equipment way on the other side of the room.

    4. It is funny, my father who has a rather tenuous grasp on reality (roughly on par with PB’s but more over the top tea party in orientation) once went on an hour long rant about how guinea pigs were evil and unnatural because they were a genetically engineered species created in a government lab for testing chemical weapons

      1. guinea pigs were evil and unnatural because they were a genetically engineered species created in a government lab for testing chemical weapons

        Why do you think that’s not true?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onBIyaA__XQ

  42. I Tested The Cutting Edge Of Taxi Innovation, And Things Went Awry

    Uber is systematically wiping out taxis in San Francisco. Between March 2012 and July 2014, average monthly trips per taxicab plummeted 65%, to 504 from 1,424. In an effort to save the industry, the startup Flywheel has begun outfitting taxis with technology designed to provide Uber-like convenience via smartphone hailing and payments.

    But after testing the competitor’s latest innovation, it’s clear that Uber’s counterpart is having trouble keeping up. (though maybe that’s unsurprising, since Uber has pulled in 150 times the investment Flywheel has managed so far: $5.9B vs. $35M.)

    1. They should donate their medallions.

  43. Fun facts about Planned Parenthood’s CEO:

    -She used to work for Pelosi
    -She goes by Ms even though she is married and has 4 kids

    1. Wait, she’s a heretic who let her pregnancies come to term as well?

      1. Well, she hasn’t aborted them yet.

      2. Margaret Sanger knew which babies needed abortin’. And it wasn’t the white ones.

  44. We Need To Make Adoption Easier
    Adopting internationally is a long, frustrating, expensive process. It shouldn’t be.

    According to UNICEF, more than 130 million children in the world today have lost one or both parents. Marie and David Friess wanted to parent one of those children and, after one failed domestic adoption, began the process of adopting in Rwanda. In 2012, after waiting three years, they were finally matched with?or referred, in adoption lingo?a child. (Although Rwanda officially closed its program in 2010, one year after the Friess family began, they allowed families who had already started the process to continue.) Five months later, the Rwandan government determined the 13 referred adoptions that existed within the program would be permanently frozen and those children would be adopted domestically. After looking for more than a year, the Rwandan government has yet to successfully find a local family for the child who remains in an orphanage, despite being referred to the Friesses.

    Stories like this showcase one of the many reasons international adoption (IA) has, according to the U.S. State Department, dropped nearly 60 percent from 22,991 adoptions in 2004 to 9,319 last year.

    I prefer my orphans working.

    1. Europe would have done much better taking in orphan refugees than adults.

      1. Those monocles aren’t going to polish themselves.

    2. I think we can all agree that Rwandas problem really boils down to a lack of monocle factories.

    3. Adopting internationally is a long, frustrating, expensive process. It shouldn’t be.

      I agree. Adoptions should be easier, both domestic and international.

    4. It is considered racist in some circles to allow white couples to adopt black or brown babies.

      The governments of those shithole countries, and their cronies, were making big bucks selling from perfectly legitimate adoption fees, and we can’t have that.

      And god forbid that some gay couple would want to adopt a kid from one of those homophobic third-world hellholes.

  45. Derpy’s Dissappointing Dates

    I had a date once where my date brought up the subject of Obamacare, which she thought was great because she had a friend with aplatexia (no platelets for blood clotting) and because of Ocare, she could stay on her parents’ insurance which paid for here hospital visits. I said great, but my parents both lost their health insurance because of Ocare and had to pay way more for new insurance. Well, long story short, there was no second date. I did get to eat a nice bison burger though.

    So all you singles out there, remember this: when it comes to dating, whatever I did, do something else.

    I have about another 30 or so stories like this, so this will be a continuing series.

    1. No you did right. Unless you were just looking for someone to knock boots with, that women was pretty incompatible, and your better off without a second date.

    2. at that point you just get the waiter’s attention and say “Check please!”

      Or – drop $20 on the table and hoof it out of there without saying a word to her.

    3. whatever I did, do something else.

      I won’t do something like that. I own several guns and live in a very politically liberal area. If it get’s brought up, I say I do own guns as is my right. If there’s a second date, great, if there isn’t – well, so much the better and I have a free night to go to the range.

    4. Other fun date topics include abortion, religion, and the sharing of fetishes.

      1. Cuckservative!

        1. Yes, you should also not mention your interracial cuckold fetish on a first date. Save that for like the third or fourth.

          1. I’ve wondered why interracial and cuckold often go together hand-in-hand. Is it a Southern Belle gets used by the Plantation Worker fantasy? or uh….

            1. No, it’s really more about the fact the cuckolding is a humiliation fetish. Being interested in seeing your female companion have sex with someone else (whatever the race) is a separate fetish than cuckholding (being sexually humiliated by your female companion.) Given that the search and watching rates for interracial cuckold on porn sites is much higher in the American South, the humiliation of your wife having sex with a black guy is a compounding feature of the sexual humiliation.

              1. Southerners like to be humiliated?

                I weep for my peeps.

                1. Cuckolding searches seem to be fairly evenly distributed, but interracial cuckolding is heavily clustered in the American South.

                  1. Is there any breakdown by race, though?

                    1. Is there any breakdown by race, though?

                      Not in the articles I read. Geography is easy to track since they pick it up from IP addresses; everything is unreported/self-reported/uncollected.

                      And “interracial” means black men/white women about 99%of the time in my experience.

              2. I know there are philosophical differences between the Hotwife & Cuckold groups –

                *looks warily around*

                1. but in reality it seems the two would be closely related. There has to be some element of humiliation with the Hotwifers

                  1. There has to be some element of humiliation with the Hotwifers

                    Probably, but unlike John, I cannot read minds.

                    1. But we can try!

              3. Why do you assume it is white guys doing those searches? Seems just as likely that a different demographic is trying to find out where the white women at.

            2. Interacial sex, particularly between a black man and a white woman, was the biggest taboo of the old South. For that reason it’s particularly desireable for the fetish community. And that fetish is straight up racist because for the humiliation to be a thing you have to assume that black men are subhuman to some degree.

              The myth that black men are all well-endowed has something to do with that, too, although that’s one racial stereotype that doesn’t get much pushback from black men.

  46. Can someone please tell me why we need a federal government. We the people pay the bills while Congress and the President serve special interest.

    1. If men were angels…

    2. Why the hell would any elected person cut his own job out?

      1. Because they are a decent human being?

    3. Down here in Rapture, Ga we had an idiot preacher making 30K a year win a House seat (Jody Hice) who is now making $179,000 a year and is now hob-nobbing with lobbyists in DC every day.

      1. Considered manning up, equipping some plasmids, and taking back your city?

    4. So the States don’t go to war with each other. Oh, wait a sec…

  47. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car. The raccoon attacked the driver, who crashed into a tree.

    Cultural appropriation!

    1. Just be glad that wasn’t Obama’s car. He be sucking on it every time he had an asthma attack.

  48. A California man used a raccoon to get past the breathalyzer test installed in his car. The raccoon attacked the driver, who crashed into a tree.

    Just shut down the AM and PM links forever. You’re never going to get a better link than this.

    1. So your little is walking? Two months after walking, mine started running. Six months later he hasn’t walked since. He just runs. He’s like a not tetarded Forrest Gump. Enjoy that.

      1. Alys Hugeman could always walk, she just chose not to until recently.

      2. Yep. She will soon destroy us all.

  49. Putin signs decree drafting 150,000 conscripts into the Russian military… as his fighter jets launch new wave of air strikes in Syria

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z3nK9guGsl
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    Dubya’s soul bro!

    1. …we’ve also learned that Britain’s own Orbital Death Ray “John Bull 2000” would have been operational to assist in the fighting but it’s development was delayed by Illuminati plants in the Home Office diverting funds to chavs and immigrants on the dole. Honest!

    2. Dubya conscripted people into the army? You really are retarded, aren’t you?

    1. OK, but how about Fauxcohantus?

    2. Cherokee women enjoyed great political and social power in the Cherokee society.

      They were able to support the wampum traders for many moons and denigrate them the next planting season.

    3. Yes, Native Americans are so despised and reviled here in the US that everyone want to be one.

        1. Both of my sisters got ancestral DNA tests recently and I was deeply disappointed there was no hint of Native American genes. Just boring British and Irish. Sigh…

  50. A million dollars doesn’t buy what it used to in Manhattan. A combination of high demand and too few listings pushed the median sales price for a Manhattan apartment to just shy of a million dollars in the third quarter of the year, setting a record high, according to several market reports to be released on Thursday by major real estate brokerage firms.

    The median sales price, which reflects the middle of the market and is less affected by high-end sales, was $999,000, according to a report by the Corcoran Group. Reports from other brokerage firms, using different figures and methodologies, put the median price at or just below the million-dollar mark, with most calling it a record.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10…..rc=me&_r=0

  51. Derpy’s Dissappointing Dates

    I had a date once with a returned Peace Corps volunteer from Cameroon. I figured we’d hit it off since we were both Peace Corps volunteers in Africa. She had some interesting stories about Cameroon. Apparently it gets so hot there sometimes that people sleep outside and when someone dies, they dress the body in the deceased best clothes and jewelry and put them in a chair at the table of the funeral feast. She had a pretty good joke she’d heard from a Cameroonian:

    An African and an Asian meet at Harvard and become friends. When they graduate, they promise to visit each other in 10 years to see how things are going. When the African visits the Asian, he sees that the Asian has a mansion, servants, a fancy car, and a cushy govt job. The African asks how the other got it all. The Asian leads him to the window and says “see that airport over there?” “Yes” says the African. The Asian points to himself and says “10%”.

    Later, the Asian goes to visit the African, who is living even more luxuriously. The Asian asks how he did it. The African leads him to a window and says “see that airport over there?” The Asian says no. The African smiles, points to himself and says “100%”

    1. Anyway, we passed a poster for a movie with an all-black cast. Some Tyler Perry movie, I think She said it was blaxploitation. I wasn’t sure what to say. How can a movie marketed to black people, with an all-black cast, that was written, produced and directed by a black man be blaxploitation?

      There was no second date. Oh well. At least it was cheap. We just walked around in a park for an hour and had lunch.

      1. You need to talk about HER all the time – at least till you get into her pants. Turn any question she might have around. “Well, I’m not sure about xxxxxx, what do you think?”

      2. The first recognized blaxplotation film was written and directed by a black man (Mario Van Peeple’s father, Melvin.)

        Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song

        Tyler Perry is not blaxploitation, but the Medea crap is awfully close to a minstrel show at times…

        1. My (black) ex wanted to watch the newish Shaft movie. I casually mentioned the original and referred to blaxploitation generally. Long story short: she had never heard the term, ended up dwelling on it for most of the evening while we drank, and I found her sobbing in the spare room because she’d concluded that her boyfriend is a despicable racist.

          1. I think it had more to do with the fact that your conversation went like this.

            1. Pretty much it exactly, except trying not to laugh in her face while I tried explaining what little I know about it.

              She was a cool woman. Had previously lived in a semi-romantic sub and dom relationship with a pipsqueak lesbian and learned firsthand how crazy emotional women come across to men, which made her, 95% of the time, level-headed and rational while we were together. But every so often the shit would bubble up and over and she’d be a sobbing wreck or a shrieking banshee.

            2. You should have shown her the intro to Black Belt Jones, and not only would she have not considered you too much of a racist, she would have been turned on like whoa.

          2. Why would she conclude that you are a racist because of that? Me so confused.

            1. Because, when I finally ferreted it out, she thought I was denigrating films featuring black actors as being not legitimate cinema and beneath whiter genres.

            2. No you aren’t. Check your premises.

      3. “Blaxploitation” basically just means “marketed toward Blacks”. There is nothing inherently negative about the term, imo.

        1. “There is nothing inherently negative about the term, imo.”

          No, but to screaming closet racists everything is racist and negative. My black stepmother(a peruvian), who has a degree and is married to a white man had a job at a Catholic home for the retarded. She was the dietician and got no end of shit from the black (local) kitchen workers.

          The final straw was when she was accused of being a self-hating racist because she had WHITE plastic coat hangers in her locker.

          Racism is a lot of things, but rational aint one of ’em.

          1. The final straw was when she was accused of being a self-hating racist because she had WHITE plastic coat hangers in her locker.

            I hope she turned it around with, “Oh, so I’m racist now for hanging ‘whites’?”

            1. Sadly jokes like that are completely lost on her. Partly it is because jokes don’t cross cultural lines well and partly because she is kind of a dingbat. She was raised in an extremely sheltered environment and even now at 42 she just doesn’t get a lot of common life experience stuff.

              That did make me laugh.

        2. Except for the part where it’s a portmanteau and the second word is “exploitation”, which makes it sound a little pejorative. I mean, maybe it was reclaimed, but it must have originally been intended as a negative.

  52. “The Hillary Clinton campaign is starting to fear a Joe Biden run.”

    Hey, Joe, just tell Justice it’s OK to bring charges!

  53. Derpy’s Dissappointing Dates

    One more story for today:

    I had a date with a pretty Vietnamese girl once. Her name was Saomai, which I think means morning star. I took her to the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. I took at least half a dozen dates there. It has the advantage of being free and also it has a pygmy hippo. Girls generally like things that are smaller versions of other things. I think they call it “cute” or some such.

    Anyway, there was no second date. We mostly talked about our jobs.

    1. No offense Derpy, I love you, but you seem to be a bit socially inept.

      1. Well, duh. And that’s not to harsh on Derpy, many of us here are socially inept.

      2. There’s no sugar-coating it: I probably shouldn’t work in sales.

        I take no offense. Whatever qualities make people attractive to bosses and dates, I must lack most of them.

        Eh, no biggy. Having a girlfriend is a lot of work. You have to buy them stuff, take them places, and talk to them constantly. It’s exhausting.

        1. “There’s no sugar-coating it: I probably shouldn’t work in sales.”

          This also made me laugh.

          Hint for dealing with women-folk…well, folks in general: Don’t talk philosophy, politics, or religion. If you do then only do it tangentially and in a way that affects them personally. (Ex. Young woman who smokes pot was complaining about pot being illegal. I slipped this in – “I don’t smoke it and never liked it, but I don’t think some fuckwit in Baton Rouge can tell you what you can put in your body, that you own, and he fuckin’ doesn’t. Your mind, your conscience, and your BODY are your own. Not his.” I know that is standard fare around here but she had never heard it put that starkly before. The look on her face said it all, but she did reply “You are goddamned right.” She also developed a great deal of affection for me and looks up to me now. If I was younger…..

          Also, don’t talk about yourself unless asked. Steer the conversation towards her. People love to talk about themselves.

          It’s pretty simple. If you make people feel empowered, likable, good about themselves then they want to keep you around.

          I am not socially inept but I guess I do have a bit of your affliction in me. I like hanging out here cuz I like aspy, socially inept people who are smarter than I am.

          (What I did there, do you see it?)

          1. “It’s pretty simple. If you make people feel empowered, likable, good about themselves then they want to keep you around.”

            That is nearly the exact opposite of my nature, which is to try to stoically ignore stupid comments with a pained look on my face and hope for a subject change. Even worse, I often feel compelled to explain the error in what was said, in the vain hope that I might correct the error. I feel stupidity should at least be challenged, otherwise you become a partner in it.

            I guess my default mode is: “OK, you probably believe a lot of really stupid things. Go ahead, lay ’em on me. Let’s get this over with.”

            At my last job during one my perfunctory pre-firing meetings, the one boss told me my other boss was not feeling supported. It took all my willpower not to say “then he should go buy a fucking bra.”

            I see what you did- compliment me to make me feel better. I’m on to you!

            1. “I feel stupidity should at least be challenged, otherwise you become a partner in it.”

              That’s my issue – I can’t bring myself to just let stupidity and ignorance stand unopposed. When someone is airing one of their “feel-good” beliefs (minimum wage helps workers, women are oppressed, gun control is good, police violence only affects blacks, etc.) I have a compulsion to set things straight. I’m always calm and reasonable about it, but people always seem to say something to the effect of “you should have just let it go.”

              The thing is, I never bring up politics in conversation myself. Other people bring it up, and they expect me to sit there smiling and nodding, then they’re upset when I chime in with an alternate viewpoint.

    2. You’ll have a lot to share in boot camp.

      1. John Wingergaoxiaen: Lee HarveyDerpy, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I’m gonna go out on a limb here. I’m gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka Warty isn’t always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe… Sergeant HulkaWarty.
        [the soldiers start clapping]

        1. I swallowed a lot of aggression…and pizza! Oh, hohoho….

  54. There Are Now Officially 70,000 Ways to Get Sick or Die

    There are 70,000 ways to get sick, hurt or mortally injured, and the U.S. is making them official.

    On Thursday, U.S. hospitals, doctors and other care providers have to start using internationally developed standards called ICD-10 codes to bill government programs and private insurers in the nation’s $2.9 trillion-a-year health-care system. The codes cover everything from parrot bites to getting sucked into a jet engine.

    Doctors have already begun mocking the diagnostic list, picking out the most absurd and arcane, such as Z63.1, “Problems in relationship with in-laws,” or V91.07XA, “Burn due to water skis on fire.” Yet for health-care providers who have payments at stake, the complex change is no joke.

    I have the King’s Curse, along with a touch of Moon Fever.

    1. And this has nothing to do with making people well.

      1. It is more of that great O! HEALTHCAREZ FREEMARKETIZATIONZ!

    2. So how are the doctors supposed to know 70,000 codes?

      1. They aren’t – they’re supposed to pay a cadre of bureaucrats to process the coding.

        1. And the inevitable fraud penalties and legal fees when bureaucrats provide the wrong coding information.

        2. Nah, this is actually my job.

          One of the products I work on takes the medical record, parses it, and returns a list of applicable codes which the doctor/billing agent and pick from to apply.

    3. OK, so, when do we drop the premise that more options, better software, and better trained servants are the keys to libertopia now?

      IMO, the best part is, that, woven into the 70,000 codes are obviously bad codes like ‘water skis on fire’ but more insidious codes like E88.81 which is the code for Syndrome X.

      ICD-9 is the reason I got out of the lab. No more innovation(s)/science, your thinking has to fit under a code.

      1. ICD-10 has nothing to do with health care. It is 100% a “public health” initiative, intended to create massive international databases so our betters can micromanage our lives even MOAR!

        Seriously, that’s what its about. Not health care. Not payment for health care. Public health research.

        You are being converted into a lab rat in a big national experiment. Britain’s NHS is overtly not about providing health care, but about managing public health. These are two very different things.

    1. always liked Clutch…Regulator, Worm Drink…plus they are not afraid to put a little cowbell in there

    2. What’s a “record”, old man?

      /millennial derp

    1. “Shock” decision? I’m not shocked.

  55. “By a vote of 277-151, the House of Representatives passed a spending measure to fund the government through December 11 without cuts to Planned Parenthood sought by conservatives.”

    Why not write, “to fund the government through December 11 while continuing payments to Planned Parenthood.”

    What would PP have to do to get Republicans to cut their funding?

    1. They would get blamed for cutting the other services Planned Parenthood provide, which is why it will never pass.

      Also, since they are Republicans and fucking morons, they try to funnel the money to their own pet groups.

    2. What would PP have to do to get Republicans to cut their funding?

      I honestly can’t think of a single thing.

  56. I make up to $90 an hour working from my home. My story is that I quit working at Walmart to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $40h to $86h? Someone was good to me by sharing this link with me, so now i am hoping i could help someone else out there by sharing this link… Try it, you won’t regret it!……

    http://www.HomeJobs90.Com

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.