UN to Talk Syria, ISIS, Refugees, France Hits ISIS in Syria, ISIS Attacks in Afghanistan: A.M. Links

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  • NASA

    A session of the United Nations General Assembly opens in New York City today, with Syria, ISIS, and the Middle East refugee crisis at the top of the agenda. President Obama will meet Vladimir Putin while attending. They are expected to talk about Syria and ISIS. Meanwhile, France launched airstrikes against ISIS targets in Syria, and ISIS fighters in Afghanistan killed three police officers in the first ISIS attack in that country not to target the Taliban.

  • Democratic presidential candidate Martin O'Malley says there are "legitimate questions" about Hillary Clinton's email controversy and that it threatens to "define" the Democratic party.
  • A Pew study finds Asia is expected to overtake Latin America as the primary source of immigrants to the U.S., and that a smaller proportion of the U.S. population is foreign-born today than it was in 1890.
  • Nationalists in Catalonia won big in regional elections, promising separation from Spain.
  • A Florida woman was arrested after a photo of her riding a sea turtle went viral on the Internet.
  • NASA said it would be making a major announcement about Mars today.

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  1. NASA said it would be making a major announcement about Mars today.

    It plans a Muslim outreach center there.

    1. The Rover found a fragment of the Kabaa?!

    2. Hello.

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      Does Pope Francis Understand Economics?

      Matt Welch | 9.26.15 10:30 am

      Is Matt fudging the numbers? I thought ENB’s had this beat with 700+ comments.

      1. They probably wanted to hide that thread.

    3. They probably found a rock or crater that when looked at from just the right angle, kind of looks like the word Allah spelled in Arabic. This, of course, will make it the fourth most holy site in the solar system.

      1. “Allahu rockbar!”

        1. Rock the Casbah

      2. This, of course, will make it the fourth most holy site in the solar system.

        A designation which of course will mean that Muslims start murdering the nearest western looking people they find when non-Muslim astronauts dare to set foot there. Would make a great movie.

    4. I’m hoping they’re announcing a major initiative to build some big ships to sail to Mars with all the commies. There you go, fuckers, there’s that Red planet you’ve always dreamed of. I’m sure you’re going to do just fine since all y’all are so big on the cooperation and the working for the common good and the sharing and the economic knowledge. Be sure to write once in a while and let us know how you’re doing.

      1. Every good Muslim knows that the way to get there is on a flying horse, also known as a Buraq. They’ve been trying to breed these things for more than a thousand years. Of course, if they could get a Barack to build them a space ship, it may turn out that they misinterpreted the sacred texts…

    5. They found that water flows during the summer montha of mars.

      My question is, are the water levels rising ? Do we need to invest in Martian Man Made Global Warming ?

      Is Obama a citizen of the Universe or is he an Earthophile who cares not for the poor Martians who will undoubtably suffer from climate change ?

    6. I was hoping for an ambitious plan to strand Matt Damon on Utopia Planitia.

  2. 96) I was at my son’s Tae Kwon Do class the other day, and I looked around and noticed every parent there hunched over their smart phone, completely oblivious to what was happening around them. It occurred to me this is the future, we’re all interconnected, attached via our devices to the hivemind. And what was the science fiction novel that predicted this? Something by Asimov, perhaps? Arthur C. Clarke? Bradbury or Heinlein? One of those 1980s cyberpunk novels by William Gibson, or Neal Stephenson? Or maybe Star Trek?

    No, what the smart phones really reminded me of most was the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. All these people were basically hunched over their little hitchhiker’s guides. I might add that Donald Trump is a deadringer for Zaphod Beeblebrox. So, it turns out that Douglas Adams, the most ludicrous and flippant of SF authors, turns out to be the true prophet of our times.

    1. Eyes down, minds elsewhere, ‘deadwalkers’ are among us

      “We’ve had people come into the emergency room who were hit by cars. They’re looking at their phone and not paying attention to the fact that a vehicle is making a turn.”

      Darwin strikes again!

      1. I see this ALL THE TIME. Even on their bicycles.

        Know what I do? As I’m turning I shout at them (politely) reminding them they’re CROSSING WITH CARS AROUND THEM.

        They’re so into that fucken device it startles them.

        1. “Hey, I’m WalkManning here!”

          1. Take your misogynist comments elsewhere.

            1. OK.

              “Hey, I’m WalkManning *here*!”

              1. I am narrowing a gaze while subtlety applauding.

      2. The people jabbering on their phone everywhere they walk drive me even more nuts. It’s all hands-free now – they look like crazy people.

        1. People talk on their phones? When did they start being used for something besides Facebook and games? I’m so confused.

        2. I find that the phone makes me look a lot less crazy than I used to.

          1. Take a selfie. We require proof.

            1. I’m not THAT crazy.

              One of you freaks might hunt me down.

              1. STEVE SMITH ALREADY ON THAT.

          2. I don’t use a phone, I just clip a wire onto my ear and then wander around spouting gibberish just to mess with people. “Calm down, honey, calm down…. How bad is he bleeding? …. Oh, he’s probably only lost a pint or so – put some duct tape on it and lock him back up in the basement…. Just tell his mother he cut himself on some glass when she comes to pick him up. Don’t forget to hide all the you-know-what before she gets there….Yes, I’m on my way to the abortion clinic now, I’ll make sure to bring you back a big box of samples.”

            1. You too? I used to do that all the time standing outside of bars.

        3. What drives me nuts about it, aside from them not looking where they are going in a very densely populated area, is they inexplicably SLOW DOWN while walk talking.

    2. Meh, at least hunched over the cell phone the parents are actually doing something. Can’t tell you the countless hours I spent before getting a smartphone zoned out to the world staring at whatever was the center of the event but totally checked out mentally.

      1. at least hunched over the cell phone the parents are actually doing something.

        Yeah, those candies won’t crush themselves

        1. Nor those neck vertebrae.

        2. OMG! You play Candy Crush too?? I’m all like, stuck on level 42. It is sooooo amazing! What level are you? Sooo cool!

          1. Why, for the love of all that is holy, would anyone be playing Candy Crush when they could be playing Fallout Shelter?

            You people.

      2. I actually bring a book to hockey practice sometimes. Sometimes I read, and sometimes I don’t. But it stops me from phone usage.

        1. I actually bring a book

          Fag!

        2. or you could join the 21st century and put that book onto your electronic device

          1. But then you are head down in a device and everyone thinks you playing candy crush. Books are better- you can feel and be morally superior!

    3. Bingo on the Donald Trump = Zaphod Beeblebrox thing.

      In the books, Zaphod was selected by the galaxy’s true rulers not to wield power, but to draw attention away from it… so there’s that. And the two heads? Well, perhaps he has the second one hidden under his hair poof?

      1. “Don’t vote for stupid”
        So, who’s Humma Kavula?

        1. I think that role was being played as a Greek Chorus, 10 in number I think, at the last debate!

    4. But even the Guide wasn’t that addictive. Honestly, most authors thought this level of social sedation was only possible with drugs. And few thought that people would do this to themselves willingly.

      But one author did nail The Kardashians perfectly: The Girl Who Was Plugged In

    5. Did parents really watch their kids classes before smart phones or were they looking at magazines or the newspaper?

      1. I vaguely remember sometimes parents used to chat with each other.

      2. No, used to be parents would drop the kids off then leave. Why are these people sticking around?

        1. Helicopter parenting without actually having to pay attention to the kids?

          1. Helicopter parenting without actually having to pay attention to the kids?

            I detect a fertile market for drones here. They could also record the event (in case something unusual happens that the parent might want to watch) and notify the parent when it was OK to return from Starbucks (or his mistress’s place).

        2. Any child under 26 who is not within arm’s reach of a parent or legal guardian is in imminent danger. If nothing else, from the best-of-intentions drooling moron close by who will sound the panic and have hysterics for your child’s sake at the slightest excuse.

      3. I really can’t blame a parent for their smartphone distraction while in the observation area of a child’s activity. It’s when I see a couple at a restaurant, both ignoring each other as they are gazing into their phones…that I don’t understand and gives me the irrational urge to violate the NAP.

    6. Trump is a deadringer for Zaphod Beeblebrox

      His other head is hid under that hair.

    7. Sometimes I read the H&R comments while waiting at sons’ karate. Usually I run some errands.

    8. The kids jiu-jitsu class has an adult no-gi running concurrently on the next mat.

      1. No gi? Is that like nude? That sounds very adult.

        1. Staphylococcus is usually sufficient covering but you can ask to share ring worm if you want.

      2. I would love that. Do you have a roll while waiting for your kid?

        Here the ritual is drop off the kids, then walk don’t run to the nearest coffee shop for 40 minutes of boring dad talk.

        1. I think I meant to say run don’t walk

    9. A good way to get them off their smart phones would be to start making bets with the other parents about who will win the sparring sessions.

    10. It’s Fahrenheit 451 and these little devices are our parlor walls.

    11. Try Ray Bradbury, in a story called, if I remember, “Repent, Harlequin! Said the Ticktock Man:.

      1. “‘Repent, Harlequin,’ said the Tick-Tock Man” was Harlan Ellison.

      2. Harlan Ellison.

  3. Taco Bell fires worker from viral hand-in-pants photo

    SANDUSKY, Ohio, Sept. 25 (UPI) — Taco Bell officials said an employee at an Ohio franchise was fired after a viral photo on social media showed him with his hand down the back of his pants.

    The picture, which was posted to Taco Bell’s official Facebook page by concerned customers, shows an employee at a Sandusky, Ohio, location with his left hand down the back of his pants — apparently inside his underwear.

    The Erie County Health Department said officials visited the store after a complaint about the photo was lodged with the department Monday.

    1. This seems to be common among Taco Bell employees. The only bout of food poisoning I’ve ever had was after eating at Taco Bell.

    2. I always just sort of assumed that Taco Bell employees had their hands down their pants whenever the chance presented itself. I mean, come on, it’s Taco Bell.

    3. And just what do you think makes that burrito “supreme”?

      1. +1 secret sauce

    4. He must’ve eaten the food. I’ve done that walk after Taco Hell, too.

    5. Ha, like this doesn’t happen at the high end seafood joint where some asshole sends the food back for additional preparation.

    6. In college my wife was waitress at a dive where the cooks would regularly say, as they acted out the part, ‘I touch myself, I touch the food.’

    7. You know what other Sandusky had an issue with putting hands down pants…?

  4. NASA said it would be making a major announcement about Mars today.

    It’s actually just a super-duper blood moon.

  5. A Florida woman was arrested after a photo of her riding a sea turtle went viral on the Internet.

    Captain Jack Sparrow has a place for her on the Black Pearl.

    1. She was really just SITTING on it. “Riding” them only becomes a problem for the little flipperheads when you do it in the water and DROWN them….

    2. The mammals here tolerate a conseriderble amount of errant behavior. But annoying large sea creatures is absolutely verboten.

  6. The casual racism of our most popular dating apps
    Sites like Tinder and Grindr are littered with racial preferences and worse. Why are we so ready to let them slide?

    “On dating apps there’s more of a courtship element, where people have to mind their Ps and Qs, you know, you can’t be immediately racist on your profile. But with hookup apps, if it’s strictly about sex, people just get to the point; they don’t beat around the bush.”

    He added, “We’re also talking about men, who tend to be a little bit more forward and to-the-point than women are on dating sites.”

    So yes, if you don’t want to date a black person, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to date a white person, you don’t have to. But it is worth asking why those so committed to racialized dating feel the way they do. Kristen Martinez, a Seattle-based psychotherapist specializing in LGBT issues, says, “If you dig a little deeper into these motivations, you may start to notice some racist undertones to why you prefer certain ethnic groups over others.”

    1. it is worth asking why those so committed to racialized dating feel the way they do. Kristen Martinez, a Seattle-based psychotherapist specializing in LGBT issues

      So, Kristen, do you like men?

      1. You do realize that sex is inherently sexual, right? So caring about the sex of the person you do it with is expected.

        1. You mean it’s not about *power*?

          I confuse.

        2. But no other preference is “correct”?

        3. And their physical appearance, is caring about that to be expected as well?

          1. Having any preferences whatsoever is discrimination, the most vile evil.

            1. Of course preferences are discriminatory. That doesn’t mean they’re bad.

            2. Except when I do it. Seriously, I’ve read SJW rants about “racist” dating in which the author explicitly engages in special pleading for his own preferences.

            3. “We’re also talking about men…”

              Which makes it even worse.

      2. So, Kristen, do you like men?

        Nope. I like Men.

          1. Yeah, sometimes I like the Men to be on top.

    2. They – it – never stop (s).

      1. The author’s previous piece was about how “men” need to get more comfortable having things stuck up their ass

        http://www.salon.com/2015/09/1…..o_partner/

    3. Why are we so ready to let them slide?

      Because people don’t really want to date someone who’s not into them, just to make a point about racism?

      1. The point about homophobia they’ll make is what worries me.

        1. Are you saying the day is coming where part of the definition of homophobia will be because I won’t want to date or fuck another man?

          1. A few years ago I would have considered that absurd. Now, I’m not so sure it isn’t coming.

            1. It really seems like it. The whole sexual preference=racism thing is becoming mainstream. It’s like the social justice crusade is never tired or spent, it just moves on to a new target after it’s worn down it’s last one. Society in 10 years is going to be more absurd than we could have previously imagined.

              1. They’ll have to convince gays and lesbians to date transgendered folks first.

                1. Wait till PETA jumps on the trend.

                  1. PETA jumped on that trend years ago.

                    I’m not saying they fuck sheep, but… they might.

          2. I look to a day when people will not be judged on the presence of foreskin, but by the content of their browser.

    4. HOW DARE PEOPLE BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO!!!
      (cue Nikki in 3…2…1…)

      1. Ugly people need love too!

        1. And that’s why man invented alcohol

          1. and chloroform

            1. She can’t say no if she’s gagged. /burns in hell

              1. If a log falls *in* the forest, does it need consent? *Feeling the heat rising*

              2. +1 Hot Cosby.

      2. Yeah, let me know where I said anything remotely like that, as opposed to questioning why the people who posted that last story had such a problem with it.

        1. Stop beating up on the slow kids. It’s unseemly.

          1. Fun, though.

        2. Did I miss something that people seem to be ganging up on you recently?

          1. She’s really into interracial porn and hates everyone who isn’t.

          2. Similar story a week or two ago about how it’s racist to fuck people of the same race as yourself. Nikki took the SJW side, except she totally didn’t because actually the reason she flew into a hysterical 50 post long tirade wasn’t because she was defending the idea that it’s racist to only fuck people who are the same race as yourself, but because it was unseemly and racist of the guy who posted the link to the SJW article to obsess over it. It’s racists all the way down.

            1. Yeah, that wasn’t about how it’s racist to fuck people the same race as yourself. It was about people in the porn industry who didn’t like making a bunch of racist porn and were trying to change industry norms.

              1. Yeah, that wasn’t about how it’s racist to fuck people the same race as yourself.

                The article was absolutely about how it’s racist for white porn actresses to refuse to fuck black guys on camera (the title was “Porn’s Race Problem). Your responses were arguably (I guess) more nuanced, in that they delved more into how the entire porn industry itself is institutionally racist for paying higher rates to white actresses who fuck black guys and perpetuating cultural taboos.

                1. It was about how they won’t fuck black men on camera until they’ve done other things first and without getting paid a fetish-premium.

                  1. It was about how they won’t fuck black men on camera until they’ve done other things first and without getting paid a fetish-premium.

                    So is the interracial thing not fetish? Are the actresses ethically prohibited from discriminating entry to their vaginas?

                  2. It was about how they won’t fuck black men on camera until they’ve done other things first and without getting paid a fetish-premium.

                    And how you agree that this is a racial injustice that everyone should care about.

                  3. Oh, well, in that case… those racist cunts!

                  4. Which means they are not racist personally but are trying to maximize their earning potential with a reality of the pornography market. With one director railing against it because it meant he could not get the actresses he wanted to do the scenes he wanted.

              2. It was about people in the porn industry who didn’t like making a bunch of racist porn

                No, it was about one porn star in particular that was bent out of shape that he couldn’t get white girls to do interracial porn with black guys without paying the girls more to do it. Funny that you were chimping out about people not reading the article when you don’t appear to have done so yourself.

            2. People are weird sometimes.

          3. I think it started with the interracial porn article.

            1. You what else started with interracial porn?…

          4. Wait, there was a Nikki gang bang thread? I miss all the good ones.

          5. Well, LynchPin, you know what reading comprehension is like among kids these days.

          6. Apparently there is a progression of a porn actress’ career where doing it with a black dude is only done after the masturbators have seen all of her that they want and she has lost any further appeal. Only then, apparently, will a porn actress agree to sex with a black guy. Or they may demand extra payment. Apparently, the creative genius of some black porn director is being stifled by this fact and he cries racism. Commenters joke about his petty complaint while Nikki supports his point of view, arguing for some kind of racial morality in the amoral porn business.

            1. Apparently, the creative genius of some black porn director is being stifled by this fact and he cries racism.

              Just to complicate things even further, it was actually a white porn director. I told you, it’s racists all the way down.

            2. Apparently, the creative genius of some black porn director is being stifled by this fact and he cries racism.

              James Deen (the complainer in question) is a white Jew, not black.

    5. Salon. Yeesh.

      I like how they couldn’t just be satisfied with the racism angle and had to go for the twofer with sexism. Because, as we all know, men are incredibly picky when it comes to the possibility of a successful hookup and women aren’t the gatekeepers. This totally fits with observable reality and historical trends of men intermarrying outside of their race and class because she has a bangin’ bod, or whatever.

      Noted philospher Frank Booth said it best.

      1. I appreciate her honesty, as intentionally provocative as it may be.

      2. There was some mention in the comments of how straight men are way less likely to list these preferences. Speculated that this is because it’s way harder for a straight guy to get laid than a gay man. Gay men can afford to be picky because their potential partners are just as open to no strings attached sex as they are.

    6. Racial preferences in dating is discriminatory when you date inside your own pool and exoticizing when you date outside it.

      Dating is racist when you’re white. Everything is racist when you’re white. Let’s dispense with any pretense that this isn’t always and forever just a matter of dumb people with chips on their shoulders.

  7. A Pew study finds Asia is expected to overtake Latin America as the primary source of immigrants to the U.S….

    Well, there goes the curve.

    1. and the Latino curves

      1. Well done

      2. Well done

    2. Soon the Latino’s will be protesting immigration from Muslim countries because they’re tired of being misidentified as Muslims.

  8. Man caught urinating on Brooklyn street shoots himself in the groin while trying to ditch gun: police

    Here’s an argument for gun control every guy can easily understand.

    A strapped 26-year-old man caught by cops taking a leak on a Brooklyn street early Saturday tried to toss his gun away but accidentally blasted himself in the groin, officials said.

    Police patrolling E. 93rd St. near Clarkson Ave. in East Flatbush spotted Javier Thomas, urinating about 1:15 a.m., officials said. When Thomas saw the cops approach he tried to discard his 9-mm. Glock ? but accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself in the privates, cops said.

    1. Is it weird that it sounds to me like an argument against gun control?

      1. It’s absolutely an argument against gun control. Ridiculous to think otherwise.

      2. It’s an argument for only carrying a double action weapon with one in the chamber.

        1. It says it was a Glock, which would mean he actually had to pull the trigger.

      3. I am pretty sure he wishes he had had better control over his guns.

    2. Paramedics took Thomas to Kings County Hospital with a nonlife threatening ? but undoubtedly painful ? wound.

      Well, it probably threatens his *love* life.

      1. +2 Plaxicos apparently

        The squirrels have ruled

    3. Had to be poor trigger control because Glocks do not accidentally go off. Fuck, you could throw one onto the ground and it would be fine.

      1. Glock triggers are touchy. I’ve double tapped without trying to on more than one occasion.

        1. If you tap it more than twice you’re just playing with it. Or is “glock triggers” not a euphemism?

          1. Phrasing is acceptable now that we’ve all had our coffee?…

  9. A Florida woman was arrested after a photo of her riding a sea turtle went viral on the Internet.

    We’ve finally reached gender equality when a woman can be just as Florida as a man.

    1. So is the sea turtle pressing charges? Or what possible charge could there be? If I ride one of the deer that occasionally appears in my yard, am i at risk of arrest?

      1. Ginuwine would write a 2nd hit single about it.

      2. Are you riding the deer, or “riding” the deer?

        Are you an animal lover?

  10. “A Pew study finds Asia is expected to overtake Latin America as the primary source of immigrants to the U.S., ”

    Aren’t Asian immigrants more highly educated on average than Latin American immigrants? This should be good news, right?

    1. Nah, the Asian immigrants don’t fit the mold of oppressed minorities and they compete with the white liberal’s children for college and job spots. We’re going to see screaming bloody murder in the next ten years.

      1. So maybe are they less likely to vote Demoncrat?

        1. They are more likely to create successful campaigns against Democrat pandering to other minorities. They stopped AA legislation from getting passed in California, for example.
          They aren’t white so white guilt can’t be used against them, and they are too successful in the private sector for the helping hand of the government to be offered to them.

      2. For immigration purposes, I think “Asian” means China, Korea, Japan et al as well as India, Bangladesh and Pakistan and others.

        1. Arabic and israeli too.

  11. Naked hookers in boxing match after dispute over $80

    Two of the 20-something prostitutes, known as Yaya and Indie, had challenged the third hooker, nicknamed Africa, to the bout because they believed that she had swiped $80 from them, sources said.

    Africa only agreed to fight after the other two women went along with her request to strip nude, sources said.

    “This is how I want to fight,” she demanded, according to one source.

    The trio’s pimp, Lorenzo Sykes, 52, then filmed the match in the West 145th Street townhouse while his accomplice, Christopher Hudson, 20, played referee, sources said.

    Yaya and Indie gave Africa a “nice beatdown” and took back their money, which was stashed inside Africa’s private parts, sources said.

    1. The NY Post is stealing their newspaper articles straight from my best dreams.

      1. Klaus is a moron who knows only what he reads in the New York Post.

        1. +1 skeet surfin’

    2. During a court hearing last week, Brown’s lawyer, Brian Kennedy, requested that the Manhattan DA’s Office turn over the nude-boxing video in the October 2014 case.

      Prosecutors refused, but a judge ruled that Kennedy could watch the video at the DA’s office.

      So, yeah.

    3. I’d pay to watch this, I’m slightly ashamed to admit

    4. stashed inside Africa’s private parts

      So you’re saying at least one of these three ladies actually had lady parts? What are the odds of that? (BTW – I thought we were agreed that sex workers are only hookers if they’re dead.)

    5. Well, now we know what desnudas do at night.

  12. Motorist sets lighter to spider at gas station, burns pump

    CENTER LINE, Mich. (AP) ? A man with an apparent case of arachnophobia caused a fire at a suburban Detroit gas pump by putting a lighter to what he says was a spider near his fuel door.

    WJBK-TV reports Saturday that he escaped injury and his vehicle suffered little damage, but the gas pump was destroyed. A clerk shut off the pump from indoors and called the fire department.

    The motorist can be heard on the surveillance video at the Center Line station asking: “Is that a spider in there?” The video then shows flames erupting along the car’s side, the pump and the pavement.

    1. So how much do you guys think he had to drink/smoke beforehand?

      1. None.

        HA.

        Yeah, none.

    2. He lived, so unfortunately he will not win the Darwin Award.

  13. Democratic presidential candidate Martin O’Malley says there are “legitimate questions” about Hillary Clinton’s email controversy…

    Bill considers it much @do about nothing.

    1. *begins to narrow gaze, stops, wander off to find coffee*

  14. A Pew study finds Asia is expected to overtake Latin America as the primary source of immigrants to the U.S., and that a smaller proportion of the U.S. population is foreign-born today than it was in 1890.

    “This study stinks” – narrative and pun builders

    1. Does the smaller proportion include illegal aliens and anchor babies? Does the larger proportion include all those foreigners born in the territories and the CSA?

  15. ‘Murder victim’ found alive after 31 years

    German police say a woman who disappeared in 1984, sparking a murder hunt, has been found alive and well and living in Duesseldorf.

    Petra Pazsitka, then 24, was declared dead five years after she went missing from her student accommodation.

    A man convicted of murdering a teenager who went missing nearby confessed to killing the young woman too.

    However police investigating a robbery came across a tenant, a 55-year-old woman, who had no ID.

    She told the officers that she had been living under a false identity and gave them her real name.

    1. Did she say why she decided to change identities?

      Also, did the convicted guy actually kill anybody, or did he just confess to doing it?

  16. Marijuana bundle drops from sky, slams into family’s carport

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    Marijuana bundle drops from sky, slams into family’s carport
    Associated Press By TERRY TANG
    16 hours ago

    ????

    Maya Donnelly awoke to what sounded like thunder in the early morning hours, but dismissed it as a typical monsoon storm and went back to sleep.

    Later that morning, she looked in the carport at her home in Nogales, near the U.S.-Mexico border, and saw pieces of wood on the ground. She found a bulky bundle wrapped in black plastic.

    Inside was roughly 26 pounds of marijuana ? a package that authorities say was worth $10,000 and likely was dropped there accidentally by a drug smuggler’s aircraft.

    “It’s all right on top of our dog’s house,” Donnelly said of the Sept. 8 incident, which was first reported by the Nogales International newspaper. “It just made a perfectly round hole through our carport.”

    1. apologies for the extra verbiage

    2. Naturally the homeowners were arrested and the dog shot.

    3. There could be no clearer sign that God wants you to take up pot smoking.

      1. More like Jesus.

        1. Did it fall out of the Pope’s plane as he was making his getaway?

    4. Jesus, what kind of idiot reports that? Free lifetime supply for you and your friends. Some people don’t know good fortune when they see it.

    5. “Bales of cocaine reefer/ falling from low flying planes/I don’t know who done dropped ’em/ but I thank ’em just the same.”

      1. Close strike tag after cocaine.

  17. Rare ‘healthy’ smokers lungs explained

    The mystery of why some people appear to have healthy lungs despite a lifetime of smoking has been explained by UK scientists.

    The analysis of more than 50,000 people showed favourable mutations in people’s DNA-enhanced lung function and masked the deadly impact of smoking.

    The Medical Research Council scientists say the findings could lead to new drugs to improve lung function.

    1. I miss smoking… a wretched nasty habit that could give me a headache and aching lungs… but sometimes there was nothing better in the whole world than lighting up and taking that first drag.

      1. Maybe there’s a market for one-pull cigarettes. That way all you’ll ever get is that first drag.

    2. So we can test people for this mutation and if they have it we can lay off them for their smoking habits?

      1. Don’t be silly:

        But not smoking will always be the best option, they say.

  18. “Meanwhile, France launched airstrikes against ISIS targets in Syria, and ISIS fighters in Afghanistan killed three police officers in the first ISIS attack in that country not to target the Taliban.”

    Is this a riddle?

  19. Florida Man Accused Of Stealing $540,000 Worth Of Citrus

    Orange you in some trouble now.

    A Florida man is accused of stealing more than 4 million pounds of citrus, valued at approximately $540,000.

    Officials say that Bradley Reiter, of Winter Haven, Florida, agreed to three contracts to harvest local citrus groves in March 2014, according to a news release published Friday.

    Reiter, 61, who is not a licensed citrus dealer, harvested oranges and grapefruits from the groves, but never paid the grove owners, according to authorities.

    Florida Commissioner of Agriculture Adam Putnam said that Reiter raked in nearly 50,000 boxes of fruit from five different growers.

    He was booked in the Polk County Jail on charges of scheme to defraud, grand theft and dealing citrus without a license.

    It’s hard to say what the most ridiculous part of this story is.

    1. Forget it, PM, it’s Floridatown.

    2. Florida, at least South Florida, has essentially banned backyard citrus trees for years now, out of fear that they could spread citrus disease to the commercial groves (even though they tended to start in the commercial groves…)

      Growing up, I had 3 orange trees, a grapefruit tree, a mango tree and a lime tree in my backyard. That was awesome.

      1. That sucks. Half the appeal of living in Florida would be having my own orange tree. My grandparents in California had limes and other (what was then exotic) fruits/vegetables at their house. Blew my mind visiting as a kid that those things would be right there for the plucking.

  20. Glitz, glamour, glitter and hourglass figures go on show at the 13th Annual New York Burlesque Festival

    The annual event sees top burlesque performers from all over the world take to venues around the city to perform

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..tival.html

    1. Now we know where John is

      1. hourglass figures

        So, no, not John’s preferred shape.

  21. NASA said it would be making a major announcement about Mars today.

    Matt Damon has been shipped out to Mars.

  22. ‘Finland’s no good’: Disappointed migrants turn back

    Hundreds of predominantly Iraqi migrants who have travelled through Europe to reach Finland are turning back, saying they don’t want to stay in the sparsely-populated country on Europe’s northern frontier because it’s too cold and boring.

    Migrants have in recent weeks been crossing back into Sweden at the Haparanda-Tornio border just an hour’s drive south of the Arctic Circle, and Finnish authorities have seen a rise in the number of cancelled asylum applications.

    “You can tell the world I hate Finland. It’s too cold, there’s no tea, no restaurants, no bars, nobody on the streets, only cars,” 22-year-old Muhammed told AFP in Tornio, as the mercury struggled to inch above 10 degrees Celsius (50 Fahrenheit) on a recent blustery grey day.

    1. “Even fucking *Tikrit* is better than this!”

    2. Finland sounds Fantastic! To bad I don’t speak the language.

      1. Just double all your vowels, you’ll be fine.

        1. Consonants, too.

          1. Sure, but the only consonants you can use are K, V, P, and L.

        2. Don’t suppose you’re the Citizen-X who’s the Death in June fan?

          1. I don’t think so, why?

            1. Just curious because you both use the same name, he’s Finnish so it seemed like a reasonable guess based on the comment topic, and I figured I’d say hello.

      2. I think it takes a certain steely determination to be there, which is easier to have if you’re immunized by having been born there. Same thing with the UP of Michigan, eh?

    3. Having been to Finland a few times, I can see their point.

      1. My father-in-law is a second generation Finnish immigrant. A very strange sense of humor.

        1. How many syllables in his name?

          1. Only two. Americanized last name? Dunno.

            1. Opinion is divided on the matter.

    4. This just in: Beggars CAN be choosers!

    5. I met a Finnish chick once. If she was representative of the whole country, these Iraqis are homosexuals.

      Also, I’m sure it’s possible to buy tea in Finland and I’m quite positive there are bars.

      1. Must have been a happy Finnish.

        1. I see what you did there

      2. There are bars, plenty of bars. Just don’t ever try to keep up with a Finn.

        1. Prepare by guzzling vodka and then sitting in a sauna, day after day, and still somehow looking good (some of them).

          1. +1 “We go sauna now”

    6. What does a guy have to do to get a decent stick of dynamite around here!

    7. No tea houses or bars – sounds like a business opportunity.

    8. I need to move to Finland, stat.

      But aren’t the Finns kinda depressing to be around?

      1. Just get them into a sauna or a bar (or both). They loosen up.

        1. “a sauna or a bar (or both)”

          Well, there’s nothing like Alcohol in a Sauna to quickly dehydrate the brain

    9. This is why Canada is safe from the ‘immigrant scourge’?

  23. …ISIS fighters in Afghanistan killed three police officers in the first ISIS attack in that country not to target the Taliban.

    We must arm the Taliban in its fight ISIS!

  24. ‘I’m 27 stone but have NO desire to be thin’: Fat Girl Dancing and TV star Whitney Thore speaks out about her battle with polycystic ovaries ? and why the link between obesity and health problems is exaggerated

    Whitney Thore, 31, sprung to fame last year after a YouTube video of her called ‘A Fat Girl Dancing’ racked up millions of hits on YouTube
    Gained 14st 4lbs (91kg) in college and was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, which causes weight gain and makes weight loss difficult
    Now is trying to lose weight to improve her diabetes risk and fertility
    But says she will stop at 17st 12 (113 kg) as she doesn’t want to be thin

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/hea…..rated.html
    John approves.

    1. What happened to ol’ John? Did he get crushed at the Fanny Fat Farm For Flirtatious Females?

      1. Maybe he left the government and got a real job where he actually works for a living.

      2. John disappeared around the same time Kim Davis went to jail. I’m not saying John IS Kim Davis, but…

    2. That pool pic is a nightmare I’ll never stop having.

      1. I saw the headline and didn’t look any further. Ha ha.

      2. HAHAHAHA! WE ALL HAVE OUR REVENGE!

        *I* will not click that link…

      3. I’m somewhat surprised she could submerge that far.

        1. You saying you don’t like Das Booty?

      4. Coming from the man who gave us the Nancy ‘n’ Newt sex scene, that is utterly unbelievable

      5. It looks like a pair of albino seals with feet for heads.

    3. 17st 12 = 250 lbs.

      You’re welcome.

    4. We probably won’t have to worry about her much more in about 10-15 years. Of course she will drive up healthcare costs for everyone else.

  25. Read Beyond Massive Job-Cuts Headlines: Labor Market Is Fine

    In the span of just 10 days, four major U.S. companies announced plans for a whopping 40,000 job cuts. And this quarter is the worst since the recession with 79,000 total.

    But read beyond the headline numbers because hiring remains strong, and the U.S. government may report this week that unemploymentremained at its lowest levels since 2008.

    The juxtaposition of apparently contradictory data shows the divergence within corporate America as the third quarter draws to a close. While automakers and retailers enjoyed soaring profits, earnings at energy, industrial and materials companies were crushed by the rout in crude prices and a slowdown in emerging markets.

    1. Cue shreek saying the cratered and unrecovered participation rate is driven by students and retirees in 3, 2, 1…

      1. Hey, it’s not Obama’s fault that everybody over 45 decided to a 20-years-early retirement and the kids can’t get jobs until they’re 30 and out of grad school.

        1. + millions of SSI “disability” claimants

    2. Of course they never mention the labor participation rate being the lowest since the 1970s.

      1. That’s a good thing, WTF. More people are rich enough to retire and more people are going to school, getting smart, and will be more productive.

    3. Its like the article I saw trumpeting a falling unemployment rate in Seattle. The progs were so proud. Mysteriously, the labor participation rate continues to fall below hostoric norms.

  26. She was apprehended after Melbourne officers encountered her while responding to a separate call about a disturbance. They identified her as one of the women in the photographs that had been shared widely on social media ? ironic given Snapchat’s brand of “disappearing” photos.

    Excuse me. I need to go burn the Internet down.

  27. Supermodel Izabel Goulart puts on a cheeky display in tiny bikini as she frolics on the beach in Rio de Janeiro

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..neiro.html
    sarc approves.

    1. You have linked us to a land-whale and a stick-figure. Third time the charm?

    2. With those feet she has a “foot up” on being a championship level barefoot water skier.

  28. Institutes of lower education

    Who can be considered a highly educated person in today’s world? Well, does he or she have a fairly quick take on references from The Simpsons? Studied The Wire? Is this person fluent with, and grateful for, the pullulating neologisms for gender ? does he know his “cis” from his “hetero,” his “two-spirited” from his “intersex”? Au courant on the latest pronouns, such as “ze” and “xe” for him and her, “xem” and “xir” for (I’m guessing) them? her? they? the guy next door? A diploma is his.

    Some universities ? and, in particularly, some humanities departments ? have, over the last few decades, wandered far from the primary purpose of what these institutions were designed for: to teach what is worth knowing; to train the intellect; to acquaint students with, and help them appreciate, the glories of the human mind and its finest achievements.

    Concomitantly, they have descended into pseudo-studies, become infatuated with low pop culture, become obsessed with faddish social justice issues, turned hypervigilant on their students’ “comfort levels” and are pruriently concerned with sexism narratives, cause politics and “identity” zealotry.

    1. The universities have no reason not to provide these degrees. Student money is student money, and any costs incurred pandering to their sensibilities are still lower than maintaining a lab facility. Plus most of these students have to double back for a real degree if they can’t find a job in a non-profit org, so that’s double the money.

  29. 26-pound bundle of marijuana falls from sky and through Arizona family’s carport, destroying dog home

    Maya Donnelly heard a crash at night but thought it was thunder
    When she investigated the next morning she found the black bundle, which has a street value of around $10,000
    Police think it was accidentally dropped by a drug smuggler’s aircraft or a pilotless drone
    Mrs Donnelly lives with her husband and their three teenage daughters in Nogales, close to the US-Mexico border
    She said she was grateful no one was injured or killed during the bizarre incident – including their pet German shepherd

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rport.html

    File that under Why-Can’t-That-Happen-To-Me?

    1. Because they’d end up shooting you, and your dog, and whoever else happened to be standing around at the time.

    2. Isn’t Mexican weed terrible? Doesn’t all the good stuff come from Kentucky these days?

      1. It’s better than nothing.

    3. Chicago School drug dealers trying to arrest price deflation from medical marijuana and legalization by doing a helicopter drop?

  30. Cuomo urges Dems in Congress to shut down government to get gun control law

    Often times quoting scripture, Cuomo compared Gabay’s death to the massacres at Newtown, Conn., Charleston, S.C., and the movie theater shooting at Aurora, Colo.

    He also called upon his fellow Democrats in Congress to shut down the government until they get an iron-clad national gun control law passed.

    “If the far right is willing to shut down the government because they don’t get a tax cut for the rich, then our people should have the same resolve and threaten to shut down the government if they don’t get a real gun control law to stop killing of their innocents,” he said.

    Pleeze do this.

    1. Only police officers should have guns. And celebrities. Police officers and celebrities. And retired police officers. And correction officers. But just all of them, that’s it.

      1. And bodyguards for our betters!

        1. All I have is “betters”. Damnit. *Bends over*

    2. Shutting down government.

      For the children.

      The greater good.

      Democrats are pure evil.

    3. Um…Andrew, the reason they can shut down government over planned parenthood is because it’s an APPROPRIATIONS BILL so all the Republicans have to do is strip funding before sending it to Obama, he’ll refuse to sign off on it without PP funding, and government shuts down.

      There is no way to cause a similar shutdown with gun control because there’s no gun related government spending the Democrats could take out of an appropriations bill.

      Incidentally, it’s equally true to say the Democrats are shutting down government over PP. It takes two people to cause a shutdown and the Dems could avoid a shutdown by allowing PP to be defunded.

      1. WHYCOME YOU GOTTA BE CONFUSIN’ THE ISSUE WITH FACTS?

      2. A better strategy for the heffalumps would be to pass a bill without PP funding while having a 2nd bill in reserve that includes PP funding. Meanwhile, make it widely known that they were just checking to see how Obama wants the shutdown to impact the people.. That way you stick the shutdown impact on Obama and not on the heffalumps. If Obama shuts down stuff that was annoying to people it would be more eye-opening. The R’s could always just pass the 2nd bill to end the impasse.

    4. the far right is willing to shut down the government because they don’t get a tax cut for the rich

      Wait wait wait wait – isn’t he the one that created tax-free zones in his state and said that taxes kill business? I’m sooooo shocked he’s talking out both sides of his mouth!

      Unprincipled gotta unprincipled.

    5. Let’s say that this were to happen. Odds on the Republicans caving?

    1. Well, then is Australia’s indecision problem your equivalent of America’s gun culture?

    2. If only Martin Bryant had gone on a bender instead?

    3. Can’t stop the statists. They got rid of guns in Australia, so now they move onto to …. whatever’s left.

      1. Bet that was totally unexpected!

    4. It seems to me Australia is particularly over-run with effete, buzzfeed-millenials who want to regulate the world into Utopia.

      This is just a general impression i’ve gotten from occasional anecdotes.

      1. First, they take away the ability to resist their program,and then they take away the ability to escape it, even in your own head.

  31. Florida police arrest woman sought for allegedly riding sea turtles

    Police in Florida say they arrested a woman on Saturday who was seen in photographs sitting on a sea turtle in July.

    Melbourne police arrested Stephanie Moore, 20, after they were called to a fight taking place in on the 600 block of Espanola Way in Melbourne. During their investigation, police found Moore who had an active felony arrest warrant in failing to comply with a Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission rule, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

    Fox 35 Orlando reports the warrant charges Moore with possession, selling or disturbing a marine turtle or nest and was positively identified as one of the women in the photographs.

    1. Not content with ruining season 2 of True Detectives, eh?

      1. I just hope Taylor Kitsch and his thousand-yard stare are involved.

        1. Everyone seemed to have a stare in that show.

  32. It is time to get very afraid: Extremists, authoritarians now run the GOP ? and no one can stop them

    After the Great Crash and the ensuing Depression, most Americans believed that the government must regulate business and protect labor in order to create a stable, prosperous society. But businessmen hated the very same New Deal regulations most Americans liked. The captains of industry believed that government meddling in their affairs would disrupt economic laws. This would cripple their enterprises and, in turn, cripple the American economy. But the New Deal consensus was enormously popular, and actually made for a stable economy in which most Americans enjoyed security. Business interests could not fight this consensus on the merits, or they would continue to lose.

    In 1951, a young William F. Buckley, Jr., came up with a blueprint for destroying the American consensus. Rational argument was a losing strategy, Buckley wrote in “God and Man at Yale: The Superstitions of ‘Academic Freedom.'” If voters were presented with facts, said Buckley, they would choose government regulation. So a new breed of Movement Conservative leaders must start from the premise that what Buckley called “individualism”?that is, an economy in which individual action was untouched by the state?was as sacrosanct as the Ten Commandments.

    1. Link is SF’d, but it has to be Salon right?

      1. of course
        http://www.salon.com/2015/09/2…..stop_them/

    2. The captains of industry believed that government meddling in their affairs would disrupt economic laws. This would cripple their enterprises and, in turn, cripple the American economy.

      Well, sure glad that hasn’t happened!

    3. Is there one accurate sentence in that quote?

      1. No idea, I stopped reading after the 2nd sentence…

  33. Paul Krugman: John Boehner’s resignation is evidence that “madness has consumed the GOP”

    In his column Monday, the New York Times’ Paul Krugman argued that the resignation of “scorched-earth obstructionist” John Boehner is evidence that the Republican base has “gone mad,” and that his successor is likely to be even more execrable than the outgoing Speaker of the House.

    Krugman began by reminding us that Boehner’s signature policy was “know-nothing economics” ? a call to curtail federal spending because “American families are tightening their belts, but they don’t see government tightening its belt” ? which was likely pursued in bad faith, because a “bad economy was good for Republican electoral prospects[.]”

    Despite his willingness to “cater to and feed the extremism” of the Tea Party, however, Boehner’s leaving office for the very American reason that he didn’t feed his engorged base enough

    1. “scorched-earth obstructionist” John Boehner

      I think this is a new low in bullshit, even for Krugman

      1. Maybe Krugman is referring to Bizarro World Boehner.

        1. Where Boehner is a normal human hue?

          1. Bizarro Boehner is a staunch libertarian, with blue skin because of the argyria.

    2. The New York Times hiring Krugman is evidence that ‘madness has consumed the NYT’.

      See how that works, Paulie?

    3. “he didn’t feed his engorged base enough”

      Phrasing, Krugman!

      1. Somebody lifted that line from Morrissey’s new novel.

    4. I liked the WaPo’s combined Boehner toungue-bath and Cruz hit piece. I continue to think that this is the worst result for the establishment. Whether it will be meaningfully better for the people, I doubt.

  34. Democratic presidential candidate Martin O’Malley says there are “legitimate questions” about Hillary Clinton’s email controversy

    Well, at least Marty doesn’t have an *email* controversy.

    That we know about.

  35. PJ O’Rourke offers his views on Ann Coulter

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..35823.html

    1. Ann, you etiolated bean sprout butt trumpet.

      I like this guy.

      1. Ironically, her sentiment is closer to the libertarian position than O’Rourke’s on this particular issue.

        Cruz, Huckabee Rubio all mentioned ISRAEL in their response to: “What will AMERICA look like after you are president.”

        How many f?ing Jews do these people think there are in the United States?

        The latter half of that is prickish, but the former is pretty much the standard line. We’ve certainly suffered worse here at Reason.

        1. The latter half was prickish, and brought out all the Neo-Nazi Trump supporters in the #IStandWithAnn hashtag. Which she ate up, because she was getting attention, which is all she cares about.

          1. Ahh. I don’t go on Twitter, this is the first I ever heard of it.

    2. Coulter pissed off O’Rourke? This ought to be good. Not Buckley/Vidal good, but plenty good.

  36. Shell says it will abandon oil exploration in Alaska Arctic.

    http://www.adn.com/article/201…..ska-arctic

    Royal Dutch Shell’s stock price was down about 1.5 percent in afternoon trading Monday on the London exchange after opening on news that the company will cease exploration in the Alaska Arctic.

  37. Dating Apps Like Tinder And Grindr Come Under Fire On New Billboard Suggesting They Promote STDs

    One of the billboard’s is strategically placed ? KCAL9’s Jennifer Kastner said the billboard is a few blocks from Tinder’s Beverly Boulevard headquarters.

    Tinder could hardly miss the sign. The billboards are also accusing the sites of promoting a hook up culture.

    “I saw it and I was like yep, that’s what it is now,” says Rachel Cross who said she was an early Tinder user.

    “Tinder’s great for meeting people that just want to have sex,” said a man name Nick.

    Tinder is reportedly fighting back. They allegedly sent a cease and desist letter to the AHF.

  38. Bikini queen Helen Mirren, 70, retires from film nudity: MailOnline celebrates star’s 10 sexiest stripped-off screen shots … and her best real-life moments

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ealed.html
    Warning: titties.

  39. CENTCOM Admits US-Trained Syrian Rebels Gave a Bunch of Supplies to al Qaeda Affiliate

    US military officials admitted late Friday that a unit of Syrian rebels trained and equipped by the US-led coalition likely surrendered their supplies to al Nusra Front, al Qaeda’s affiliate in the country.

    The announcement came after US Central Command (CENTCOM) Wednesday assured journalists that “all Coalition-issued weapons and equipment are under the positive control of NSF,” or the New Syrian Force, a paramilitary group sanctioned by the US-led coalition. That statement was issued in an effort to counter reports that NSF had handed over all their supplies to the al Qaeda affiliate upon entering Syria, and in response to a post on a Nusra Front-linked Twitter account that purported to show the group in possession of coalition equipment.

    1. Come on, who’s going to believe that the US would end up aiding Al Qaeda and their ilk in a proxy war with Russia?

    2. So much better than the forthcoming headline:

      CENTCOM Admits US-Trained Syrian Rebels are an al Qaeda Affiliate

      1. Assad has been saying this from the beginning. Just like Gaddafi was saying that the western powers were helping Al Qaeda and other terrorists take over Libya. I think we can put more faith in the word of Assad than we can of the US state department and intelligence agencies, sadly. He’s given some interviews where he’s come off as basically forthright, leaving aside claims that his government isn’t a political dynasty.

    3. Never would have guessed it from the photos of ISIS soldiers wearing American helmets and body armor and sporting M4 or M16A4 rifles.

      1. But the Obama administration was going to only arm the vetted “moderate” rebels. Even fucking Newsweek was willing to point out how silly that was:

        Nothing has come in for more mockery during the Obama administration’s halting steps into the Syrian civil war than its employment of “moderate” to describe the kind of rebels it is willing to back. In one of the more widely cited japes, The New Yorker’s resident humorist, Andy Borowitz, presented a “Moderate Syrian Application Form,” in which applicants were asked to describe themselves as either “A) Moderate, B) Very moderate, C) Crazy moderate or D) Other.”

        After Senator John McCain allegedly posed with Syrians “on our side” who turned out to be kidnappers?a report later called into question?Jon Stewart cracked, “Not everyone is going to be wearing their ‘HELLO I’M A TERRORIST’ name badge.”

    1. Victims of the Warty Dungeon Industrial Complex?

    2. They’re busy fighting the war on women.

    3. Statistically, it’s possible the difference could be entirely due to women entering the workforce (although it’s probably not, given overall labor force participation numbers).

  40. Everyone remain calm:

    Has the political punditry class lost its collective mind?
    In a year in which every other supposed front-runner and establishment candidate has collapsed to single digits or has already withdrawn from the race ? yes, I am talking about you, Jeb Bush, and you, Scott Walker ? Hillary Rodham Clinton continues to lead the Democratic field with more than 40% of the vote. Can Bernie Sanders, who is 15 points behind her in recent polling, represent a real threat to her nomination? No. Hell no. Not a chance. But pundits keep asking the question without pointing out the obvious answer.
    Was the private server a mistake? Yes. Have questions about Clinton’s emails hurt her? Of course. Has her campaign been clumsy and mishandled the situation? No doubt about it. But there should also be no doubt that Clinton remains a formidable front-runner who will be tough to beat even if Biden enters the race. And she’ll be formidable in the general election too.

    1. It’s sad but a correct analysis, unless they bury her with an indictment (which looks bad for everyone not to mention the fact that Hillary probably won’t go quietly) she has all the money, organization and delegates to easily win the primary.

      1. she has all the money, organization and delegates to easily win the primary.

        She doesn’t have a single delegate yet. Every one of those “pledged” superdelegates can jump ship whenever they want.

        Money and organization don’t necessarily translate 1:1 to votes.

        I think she could go unindicted and lose the primary. In fact, I think that’s the smart way to bet right now, by a hair.

    2. Wow. Joe is a true believer. I don’t know him, but I bet he is the kind of guy that mocks religious SOCONs without a hint of irony.

      1. Move along nothing to see here, victory is inevitable.

        1. *pulls coat tight, shuffles off*

    3. The polls that show Bernie double digits behind Hillary also include Biden as an option (who hasn’t decalred) and he garners more than the difference between the other two candidates. This invalidates the poll unless Biden delcares.

  41. Has her campaign been clumsy and mishandled the situation? No doubt about it.

    She has failed miserably to convincingly present herself as being qualified to be the Leader of the Free World? No doubt about it.
    But you should vote for her anyway, because Republikkkinz!

    1. This is honestly an issue where I have a hard time getting a feel for what the milquetoast moderate swing voters are thinking.

      You’ve got the left who care about it, but that’s because they’re Sandersistas hoping for Bernie to edge her out and start on the road to FULL COMMUNISM NOW, the Hillary fans/Democrat team players who are constantly blubbering about “fake scandal” or misogyny or the aforementioned Republikkkinz, and then of course you have the noble and virtuous who loathe her and wouldn’t ever consider supporting her for her various unforgivable crimes against humanity and America.

      But, yeah, folks that I know in real life and that I come across online already have strong opinions, so I’ve got more than a bit of dread curiosity as to how things will end up playing out.

  42. Yesterday the Transportation Suckage Authority confiscated my raspberry rhubarb jam. They told me “you can always go back and check your bag”. Then my $3 jar of jam becomes a $25 jar of jam.

    They also swabbed my hands, rapescanned me, patted me down, and searched my luggage.

    And I still have two more trips this year that require flying.

    Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

    1. You could have given the whole plane teh diabeetus, your terroristic whore

      1. Yep…or some kid may possibly have a rhubarb allergy, so none of us can have nice things.

        The other suckage was that I couldn’t even give the fucking jar away. The TSA just threw it in a bin somewhere to rot.

    2. I miss rhubarb pie. Probably 30 years since I’ve had it. Should’ve smuggled that contraband in your undies. Would have given them a moment of pause if discovered.

      1. Mmmmm… rhubarb vagina…

    3. Rapiscanned and patted down? Usually it’s one or the other. You must be a terrorist.

      1. Yep. At both DCA and GSP.

        We all know those short hop CRJ flights are major terrarist targets!

    4. You can have TSA or PBJ, but not both.

    5. I have reached the point where I fly Southwest whenever possible for business or personal. If I don’t feel like packing light or finding mini versions of personal hygiene items, I just check the bag.

      1. I gotta have an assigned seat. I’m too old to stand in a cattle chute waiting to stampede to get a decent seat.

        1. I find it no different from waiting in the cattle chute for an assigned seat – particularly since they all suck now that I they try to get me to pay extra not to get the middle seat between a fatty and a screaming kid.

          1. I sit in a seat at the gate until they call my boarding group. No chute involved.

  43. “President Obama tells the UN that America is committed to eradicating global poverty and hunger by 2030 in ‘one of the smartest investments we can make in our own future'”
    (this from the guy who ‘invested’ in Solyndra)
    “Obama offered a powerful defense of a 15-year development agenda and will require trillions of dollars of effort from countries, companies and civil society.”
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-2030.html

    Read the last paragraph again; from “countries, companies and civil society”. I’m pretty sure that should read ‘taxpayers, taxpayers and taxpayers’

    1. Government is just the money we steal together.

    2. Wait, did we vote on this?

    3. We must spend trillions of dollars to make sure we avoid a problem that might cost a trillion dollars in 2100?

    4. Thank God for Obama and the UN, then.

      We’ve come a long way. We’ve halted and reversed the spread of killer diseases, extended life expectancy and raised incomes. We’ve even walked ourselves back from the edge of some global conflicts and catastrophes. But progress has not been evenly distributed. Too many people have been left outside of a mostly urban, mostly Northern success story.

      Seeing that, world leaders put forth a new set of global goals in New York last week. If we want to build a world where not just some but all get to live in security and prosperity, there’s a lot still to do, as the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development signed off on by United Nations member states shows.

      I’m curious as to how those urban Northerners managed to steal all the progress, but I guess it’s only fair if the have-nots steal the progress back. Or maybe it’s the cargo cult, zero sum sort of thinking that leads to the idea that all their progress was stolen and they need to steal it back that has kept them from progressing.

  44. France launched airstrikes against ISIS targets in Syria droping 2000 kilos of white flags on ISIS positions through out Syria

    1. These are old rayon flags; surplus.
      The new French-issue flags are cotton; sustainable! And they stay ‘whiter-than-white’ through many washings!

  45. Green Beret now officially discharged for confronting an Afghan kid-fucker.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..an-rapist/

    1. It will be interesting if the Fox folks harp on this issue, or if they go “if the Army says its okay, its okay” and leave it alone.

      Additionally, with the amount of time and money it takes to train a Special Operations soldier, I think it is crazy that they could be discharged based on a complaint like that.

      1. The Army really tries to keep these guys around when they can’t physically do the SF training any longer. I had a former SF Sniper as our full-time training NCO when I was in the Guard. They guy was a walking encyclopedia of military knowledge.

        1. That is why a discharge for the child rapist beating seems obscene.

      2. Fox is decidedly in the “kicking the shit out of known child rapists who have the mother beaten when she complains is no bad thing” camp. I am also in that camp. Only I would have shot the bastard and strapped an IED vest to him.

        1. The part of it that I do unfortunately understand is that some political type colonel must have become involved and referred the incident up the chain of command to the more political types Obama has been promoting throughout his presidency, who freaked the heck out about it. Even though the act of beating this child rapist is bad from a perspective of encouraging rule of law, a reasoned consideration of the facts of the case must conclude that the duty of Green Berets is to win hearts and minds of a local populace by using its own cultural queues and ideas while helping them progress towards rule of law. The only thing the captain and sergeant did that was not part of their duty was they did not follow up with legal charges against the child rapist. However, in a tribal cultural context, their actions probably gained the U.S. Army the support of the entire tribe of this child, and possibly helped them consider that not all Afghani officials are as corrupt and evil as this pederast policeman.

  46. Constitutional-Scholar-in-Chief

    President Barack Obama addressed members of the LGBT community at a Democratic fundraiser on Sunday, proclaiming that religious freedom isn’t a good or acceptable reason to deny other Americans their constitutional rights.

    “We affirm that we cherish our religious freedom and are profoundly respectful of religious traditions,” Obama said at the Democratic National Committee LGBT Gala at Gotham Hall in New York City, according to the Associated Press. “But we also have to say clearly that our religious freedom doesn’t grant us the freedom to deny our fellow Americans their constitutional rights.”

    It’s right there in the Bill of Rights!
    You have the right to never be offended or discommoded.

  47. “A Florida woman was arrested after a photo of her riding a sea turtle went viral”

    I AM OUTRAGED.

    UGH. SO OUTRAGED.

    ITS LIKE CECIL THE LION^ISLAMAPHOBIA^CHIK-FIL-A*9/11

    1. The eleventh root of the ninth power of Chik-fil-a is literally worse than Hitler.

  48. “Catalonia won big in regional elections, promising separation from Spain”

    Well, that only took about 300 years.

  49. “President Obama will meet Vladimir Putin while attending. “

    Oh, but he made sure to put his cards on the table beforehand, jawboning to the UN about how he thinks NOW is the time for UN intervention in Syria!

    (after 3+ years and hundreds of millions wasted trying to strongarm a civil war from afar, obama has decided to capture the moral high ground and insist that Unilateral Interventions in Civil Wars is like, totes uncool man)

    “President Obama blasted Russian President Vladimir Putin’s approach to other countries Monday, suggesting in a speech at the U.N. General Assembly that the world’s nations must uphold international order in Syria and Ukraine or risk global instability.

    Obama took direct aim at Russia during his speech, saying, “We’re told that such retrenchment is required, in order to beat back disorder.” He rejected that notion, saying that even as the head of the world’s most powerful military, he believes “at my core” that the nations of the world “cannot return to the old ways of conflict and coercion. We cannot look backward.”

    1. We cannot look backward.

      If you look backward you get turned into a pillar of SALT.

    2. “the world “cannot return to the old ways of conflict and coercion. “

      This from a guy who’s sent hundreds of millions of $ of arms to Syrian rebels, and has been selectively bombing targets across the region for 2 years now, trying to micro-manage a cross-national Civil War while engaging in only-occasional actual diplomacy with the actual nominal governments of either country.

  50. Screw ISIS and the horse they rode in on, they are nothing but cowards.

    http://www.Full-Anon.tk

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