UPDATED: HOAX! This Florida Teacher Strapped on a Dildo to Teach Sex Ed. Then Things Got *Weird*
At least she didn't bring a "hoax bomb" to school.
UPDATED 3:39 P.M.: As the invaluable Snopes.com reported A YEAR AGO, the following story is a hoax. I apologize for the uncritical recycling of the piece.
It was first reported via the Gray Lady of conspiracy sites, Infowars,com, and is the work of a talented author. From Snopes:
The writer of that post included a biography touting her work on the National Report (a fake news outlet), and other articles on the site included such leg pulls as "DISTURBING NEW TREND: KIDS ARE NOW SMOKING BED BUGS TO GET HIGH," "TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I'M GLAD PAUL WALKER IS DEAD," and "OUR TOP FIVE FAVORITE CELEBRITY OVERDOSES."
I'm sure you're wondering about the pics. Here, too, Snopes sheds a thousands points of light:
The photos displayed in the original article were not in fact pictures of a Florida substitute teacher named Sharon Mercer, but rather pictures of Carlyle Jansen, the founder and owner of Good for Her (a progressive, female-friendly sex store in Toronto, Ontario), who has upon occasion been invited to give talks about sexual health at Toronto-area high schools. But Ms. Jansen told us that she also teaches sex ed classes for adult audiences, that the photographs displayed in the outrage-provoking article were snapped at a university-level (not a sixth grade) class, and that she "would not have done those positions and discussed strap-ons to that extent in a high school setting."
Read the full Snopes entry here. And now, back to the original post, which I leave up as a testament to my gullibility.—Nick Gillespie
Via the utterly indispensable still-pretty-great-but-not-perfect Twitter feed of Mike Hewlett comes what is quite possibly the ultimate "Florida" story.
Sharon Mercer, a substitute teacher, was teaching a sex ed class for 6th graders at Clinton Middle School in Duval County, Florida, when she proceeded to don
a phallic apparatus and [began] pantomiming graphic, adult-oriented scenarios during class.
Because this is an age of cell phones, a technology that has proven its value in countless instances of capturing police brutality and other forms of official misconduct, some of her pedagogy was captured for posterity.
She has been suspended by the school. Reports Modern Woman Digest:
Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community, claims she did nothing wrong by portraying these acts for her class, and that the students left school far more enlightened than they had been prior to the days lesson.
In an email exchange with Modern Woman Digest, Sandra Mercer insisted that her suspension was an act of bigotry, and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.
I don't know if her suspension was an act of bigotry. Certainly, Mercer's lesson plan is the sort of thing you definitely want to get clearance for before trying out in most classes.
But I will say this in all seriousness: Just as I've argued that clockmaker "Ahmed Mohamed's Ordeal *Is* The Case for School Choice," so is Mercer's.
In a freer country with a more decentralized, innovative, and just educational system, there would doubtless be schools experimenting with sex-ed programs that would make the nuns who taught me back at St. Mary's Elementary School in Middletown, New Jersey turn whiter than a communion wafer.
And assuming those course offerings were all coordinated via willing parents, teachers, and students, it would be a better world, too.
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…Sandra Mercer insisted that her suspension was an act of bigotry, and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.
Sounds like she got what she was angling for.
#IstandwithSharon
#IsrtapwithSharon
FTFY
srtap?
I think that means he wants to tap her.
Let him go, he’s on a roll.
Sharon, not Sandra?
Those poor boys were probably not too keen on standing after that class.
Wait, wait, wasn’t there a South Park episode about this? One where Mr. Garrison introduces Mr. Slave for the first time, in an attempt to get fired so he can sue for discrimination?
Hell, there was a Monty Python scene about this.
That was played…I was gonna say “straight” and no better word comes to mind, so let’s stick with it. South Park was, Mr Garrison decides to get fired for his sexual orientation (dirty perv) and sue, but school is accommodating him, so he keeps escalating (I think that’s the one with gerbil’s trip through Mr Slave’s digestive system).
Right, Death Camp of Tolerance!
Lemmewinks! No!
Simpson’s did it.
Via the utterly indispensable Twitter feed of Mike Hewlett comes what is quite possibly the ultimate “Florida” story.
Well, it took Gillespie to tell me what was trending on twitter, not Rico, but I’ll take it.
*checks box off*
She has been suspended by the school. Reports Modern Woman Digest:
Really?
Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community, claims she did nothing wrong by portraying these acts for her class, and that the students left school far more enlightened than they had been prior to the days lesson.
I have no doubt they did.
Anyone here smell a lawsuit in the making?
In an email exchange with Modern Woman Digest, Sandra Mercer insisted that her suspension was an act of bigotry, and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.
Doh, should have read further.
“Florida Woman Substitute”
and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.
Wait a second. Why is strapping on a dildo and imitating the act of sex something squarely in the gay rights corner? Why do they get all the fun?
Paul, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you shouldn’t have to strap on a dildo. You need to see a doctor, buddy.
When I clicked ‘reply’ I had something, but now it’s gone.
Was it a penis?
It evaporated.
Was it a penis?
No, I think it was my sexual identity.
Are you sure it wasn’t your mom? But I guess that’s the same thing.
SF, you of all people should know that it is not a requirement to strap a dildo around one’s waist.
He straps it to his butt? Kinky.
Or his forehead, like some sort of dickicorn?
His chin; it’s called a chin-do.
His chin; it’s called a chin-do
Would that make him a chin-ball wizard?
“Plays by sense of smell,
Always gets a replay….”
Forehead, elbow, feet, back of the head – there are many possibilities.
I’m partial to one on each shoulderblade, like wings.
“Apparently, Carl, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract that enables them to rip off your dick.”
He straps one to each foot to practice his flying wedding tackle bicycle kick.
Forehead.
One on each palm, forehead, chin, one on each elbow and shoulder, dicknipples, a circle of six around the real penis, two on each buttcheek, one on each knee and a forest of toe-capping gel jigglers.
THEN you’re ready for Burning Man!
I find the akali dust of the black rock desert makes sex uncomfortable at best. I save the kinky stuff for when I’m back in Reno. At least I have a shower in my hotel room.
Ok, PrideFest then.
This is more up your alley. And it’s this Sunday too! How timely!
Call yourself the Dildonator.
“Is this the Pleasure Abattoir of Sarah Connor?”
Call yourself the Dildonator.
What’s wrong with “Dicktator”?
What’s wrong with “Dicktator”?
Some many years ago on Halloween one of my friends dressed up as Fidel Castro with a potato sticking out of his fly. True story.
I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks.
+1 made of radiation
– the British Children
DAMMIT! REFRESH!
Did I mention his four nuts
Well he also had four dicks
If you took of his boot you’d see the dicks growing off of his feet
I heard that motherfucker had like thirty goddamn dicks
How did we make it this far with no Orgasmo reference?
Commentariat, I am disappoint.
Why not? How else you gonna DP?
Grow another dick like a normal person, you weirdo.
Sorry, some of us are not snakes.
And you never will be with that sort of defeatist attitude.
I laughed…a lot.
I was waiting for someone to make this comment.
He’s taking ‘the shocker’ to the ultimate extreme.
I wonder if this is the kind of “fun” that John keeps telling us that he misses from gays.
Dildos don’t fuck people. People fuck people. It’s time to start an open carry movement!
Open carry or open strap on?
I suppose carrying in your hand might be seen as too threatening.
Some sort of brandishing?
Sexual assault with a concrete dildo?
*unzips*
I don’t feel tardy…
In the second picture, the boy in the foreground… where’s his left hand?
You were never a sixth grade boy?
Uhh, I KNOW where MY left hand is.
I wonder how many uncomfortable boners this caused in class.
Are you there, God? It’s me, Boner.
Way to appropriate a feminist cultural touchstone, Epi.
It’s a patriarch’s world, Nicole. You just live in it. As does Judy Blume.
Warty got his period?
FINALLY.
It was like he was saving it up.
Looks like Warty emptied his diva cup.
Diva Barrel.
He had to tow it behind him like a trailer.
I would love to see the scene when the class ends and all the girls get up to leave and all the guys are still sitting there like “Uh, I have to uh, sit here for a minute and uh, make some notes….”
100%
I wonder how many of the guys stayed after class to ask some specific questions.
Clinton Middle School has quite the dress code.
She looks like she might have a pretty good ass. But maybe it’s just those jeans doing their job.
She looks to be very fit, and she has no problems showing off. I assume she is a boner factory for those lucky, confused young men.
If a non-government sector person had acted like this in front of 6th graders, he would have been arrested and on the sex offender registry by now.
No. Kidding.
Well yeah. But that would have been an evil, greedy private sector pervert, not an idealistic, noble public sector champion of the down trodden.
You forgot, LBGTQRSTUVXYZ public sector champion of the down trodden, very important, that bit.
Also, i’d just like to point out that the alt texts are excellent on this post.
I agree.
They nailed it!
This is the plot to a South Park episode…she even kind of looks like Mr Garrison
She looks like she can scissor a timber or two.
Scissor me timbers!
Nicely done, you two.
Ok, I laughed. My sex ed class was about 15 years ago and was not quite as sex positive. We instead got graphic images of advanced STD cases. Perhaps the best advice from that class was “the most powerful sex organ in the human body is the brain”. Actual good advice.
Pffft., you haven’t seen my boner!!!! Even Warty blushes.
You know who is responsible for this lesson plan? The property owners in that school district. /derp
You’re reliable. So that’s good.
Don’t let anyone besmirch her honor, Warty. She’s been too good to you to allow that.
I’m sorry for telling you you’re partially responsible for oppression.
But are you sorry that he’s an abject imbecile? Because I am.
You’re not “bothering” me, but you are failing to do much but attempt to belittle me. I’m not an anarchist; I’m a “self-professed” one. I’m “mewing” about “emotional stupidity.” If you want to talk sense, try making a case for who is responsible for the state and explaining why it doesn’t include the vast majority of taxpayers, as well as the vast majority of those who don’t pay taxes.
So you want to insist on continuing to feed the maw of the state but disclaim all responsibility.
I don’t insist on anything. It’s the gov’t that insists with effective threats of force. Should I forgo paying my taxes and throw my body in the gears of the state? Do you think that would be in any way effective or result in a positive outcome for me or the family that is dependent on me? Should I sacrifice my family to my hatred of the state?
So the solution to statism is for all the people who oppose statism, to wither and die. Yeah that should do it.
Are you storming off? Are you going to go comment at freerepublic or someplace else where you belong instead of shitting up this place? Please?
Totally would, but xe has to leave the dildo and the stupidity in the desk drawer.
Sorry man – crazy is a package deal.
“crazy is a package deal”
Folks, that is what we call WISDOM in the old country.
*applauds*
“That was a brilliant idea having me shove a gerbil up your ass, Mr. Slave. Now they have to fire us!”
So many questions…
How deluded do you have to be to think that getting your freak on with a dildo before a captive audience of sixth graders is totally okay, if only it weren’t for the bigoted, cis-shitlord patriarchy?
Doesn’t this sort of play into stereotypes that run contrary to the mainstreaming of gay rights? (ie, “Damn sex-obsessed homos! grumble grumble…”)
Finally, this makes me want to get into the substitute teacher pool, so I can perform some outrageously hilarious street theater in front of impressionable younguns.
Also, how does gender-queer woman work? What the fuck does gender-queer even really mean?
It’s a woman with really powerful penis-envy.
In this context it really just means “butch lite.”
Do they get along with gay men?
(*i’m starting to get the feeling that gay men are the only people on the LGBTQ spectrum and its assorted satellites that i can actually relate to on most levels. The rest just strike me as some variety of ‘self-importantly crazy’)
Not sure. I think it mostly means “I have short hair.”
That’s because of privilege. gay men still get the benefits of patriarchy.
Seriously though – I’ve known a few lesbians and while they all cared more for getting the job done and getting paid than anything else, but the rest – from ‘gender-queer’ on out – are mostly just attention seekers using ‘victimization’ as a power-aikido move.
The majority of lesbians and bi-women whom I have met* are similar to they individuals you have described (although I would add that they liked to enjoy themselves quite a bit as well).
*By “majority” I mean approximately 30 out of 33 – so not very many.
similar to the individuals
and about that spectrum: when did gay stop being all-encompassing. Aren’t lesbians gay by definition? And never mind the B crowd literally wanting it both ways.
I have found that “gender-queer” most often equates to “preening asshole”.
You almost have it right, you missed self absorbed.
Preening self absorbed assholes.
The fucking worst are the ones who go our 100% dressed and presenting as the gender that happens to match their biology and then get really fucking pissed at someone for not realizing they are identifying as the opposite gender that day.
Preening asshole – methinks that does not evoke what you think it evokes.
According to someone i once knew who identified herself as “gender-queer,” it basically means “straight but sometimes likes to peg dudes.”
No, that’s bisexual. I think gender-queer means “Sometimes I think I am a chick and sometimes I think I am a dude.”
Oh I missed this detail. I thought this was in high school. Yeah, 6th graders don’t need to know anything about sex positions. This woman is a loon.
This really is terrible. If I had seen this in the 6th grade, I would have started masturbating much sooner.
Late bloomer, were you?
Snopes claims this is fake.. and about a year old
http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp
So there’s a better Onion out there?
“The writer of that post included a biography touting her work on the National Report (a fake news outlet), and other articles on the site included such leg pulls as “DISTURBING NEW TREND: KIDS ARE NOW SMOKING BED BUGS TO GET HIGH,” “TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I’M GLAD PAUL WALKER IS DEAD,” and “OUR TOP FIVE FAVORITE CELEBRITY OVERDOSES.” “
TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I’M GLAD PAUL WALKER IS DEAD
That is both hilarious and DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT PAUL WALKER
sweet
What’s really confusing is that, if Snopes is right and this was a totally different woman doing this in another country in front of university students . . .
Why doesn’t the teacher say so? Why is she admitting to doing this, and saying there’s nothing wrong with it?
Awwww. Too, bad. This was one government employee that I could get behind.
Troy – in Florida, that government employee get BEHIND YOU!
*narrows gaze*
don’t want to be in front of her
Haha, I love that infowars got trolled with this.
Whoa – conspiracy guy just got hoaxed? Is that a conspiracy?
So then who IS the young boy in the foreground?
Yep, Gillespie done got trolled.
Damn, this was too fun.
Oh no!
Wow, so that’s 2 writers here duped in the same week.
YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU USE TWITTER AS A PRIMARY SOURCE.
*nods knowingly*
What was the other one?
That Trump is running for President.
*stands, salutes Paul*
Hmm, let’s see how long it takes for the retraction to be posted.
Or for the article to ‘succumb to the squirrels’.
Perhaps Nick will ask us not to talk about it in the future at around 7:15.
BTW, when did Rachel Maddow start teaching middleschoolers?
Everyone goes to the best schools except me.
If you were there then they wouldn’t be the best schools anymore.
Sorry, Rufus, but they don’t do this in Canadian public schools because the cold weather makes Canadian dildos embarrassingly small.
Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual,
Two questions.
1. What is your phone number?
2. Do you like anal?
I think the second photo answers #2.
Dude, you think that about every photo ever taken.
Yeah but the crazy thing is, he’s usually right.
I know, but that’s too scary to think about at length.
The fundies warned us about this shit. At least she could have had the decency to wear latex.
” who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community,”
When the hell is a person ever just “Me” , and not some catalog of fucking random quasi-fictitious associations?
(*with adjectives like, “Proud!” – because is there really a self-identified “highly shamed” coalition who is just absolutely disgusted with themselves that they’re differentiating themselves from?)
Dear world = I don’t care who or what you identify as. I’m treating you all the same.
Dear world = I don’t care who or what you identify as. I’m treating you all the same.
P.S. – If your hopes and dreams of pride, acceptance, and inclusion rest on me, prepare to be disappointed.
“” pride, acceptance, and inclusion “”
Pride is something that shouldn’t be dependent on the opinion of others.
And re: Acceptance and Inclusion….
Into what?
Its this whole idea that people describe themselves as members of “communities” that I don’t subscribe to.
(e.g. “random quasi-fictitious associations”)
a person isn’t part of any “community” because of mere identity characteristics. Am I part of a “white male” community, whether i want to be or not? people constantly refer to these fictitious “communities” and give them the appearance of uniformity and homogeneity when their nothing but projections of people’s imagination.
One could better claim there’s a “H&R community”, because of the actual behaviors and associations people are choosing to make. But even then… so what? Acceptance and Inclusion isn’t dependent on Identity or self-nomination…. but rather, “good behavior”. See = Bo, Hihn, et al.
Mr. Gillespie,
I think you got punked with this story:
http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp
Over/under on how long before some underling ventures into the commenter jungle and notifies the Boss?
Before PM links
CALLED IT
Somebody needs to close the gap between:
Snopes: This never happened and is a satirical story, and
Modern Woman Digest: Mercer says she did it, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
Quick look at Modern Woman Digest makes me think it is also a satirical publication, although these days its very hard to tell.
So, yeah, trolled. And well done, also. The MWD article is spot-on as far as its tone and presentation goes.
Gamergate again proves majority of male gamers are rapists (part 2 in series)
Male Member Size: Dangers of a Small Partner
I think we can safely go with “satire”. And I’d be willing to bet (but want 3:1 odds), written by non-feminist men and women.
I would be happy to fill that gap.
“DISTURBING NEW TREND: KIDS ARE NOW SMOKING BED BUGS TO GET HIGH,”
Classic.
How have none of you posted this yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqI-28meTZ8
How did anyone ever find this on Snopes? I google “strap-on teacher” and it returns half the internet.
Maybe I should have used Bing image search, yeah, that’s the ticket.
noooooooooo stop!
search the “teacher’s” name
So.
She’s Canadian.
Why are we always starting things?
This explains it
Because your new President was fucked to death?
you idiots realize this is satire, right, and that article is over a year old?
http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp
Yes, these idiots had already figured that out at least two or three separate times before you did, sub-idiot. But well done in any case! You get a participation trophy!
I thought we settled on participation RIBBONS.
Respect the budget, Episiarch!
No, no, there’s simply not enough time to go get ribbons for everyone. Just print off some participation certificates on the hallway copier.
Bad news about the copier – out of toner. I got these participation paperclips i can hand out, though.
Gah, that’ll never do. Just draw up a certificate and scan it in. Email it to the whole building. Then they can use it as their desktop wallpaper or something, fuck it.
Check out the big brain on Brad
We idiots are just having fun – but it appears that The Jacket done got fooled.
No more fun for you!
Jacket turns around:
“No, no…I was…I was testing you. You passed! Except those of you who fell for it. Ha ha. How could you believe that? But everyone else, we’re going for ice cream!”
Hoaxes are still ‘bate-worthy, fella.
YOUR FACE IS OVER A YEAR OLD
a bisexual, gender-queer woman
a what? Seriously, I realize the alphabet soup with the LGB-whatever folks is getting convoluted but what the hell is that description?
I’m just going with LGBTQWERTY.
some of her pedagogy was captured for posterity posterior-ity
So if I were to donate to Reason, this is what I can expect for my money? A page of dick jokes? You people are perverted reprobates.
I thought we all donated to reason for the dick jokes and perversion.
Your donations are, shall we say, limp.
Says Mr Dick Joke Handle.
http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp
AND YET THE POINT STILL STANDS!
The world would be a better place with school choice, in which LGBT parents have the option of sending their children to schools where they can be instructed in the proper use of strap-on dildos.
Nice
I’m looking up on snopes whether it’s true of false someone would know the italics tag but not the hyperlink tag.
AND YET THE POINT STILL STANDS!
The world would be a better place with school choice, in which LGBT parents have the option of sending their children to schools where they can be instructed in the proper use of strap-on dildos.
AND THE *OTHER* POINT STILL STANDS! (No, not that one, the other one. Paul’s point comment. Paul’s comment still stands to reason).
Why do only the LGBT students get proper private education in the use of strap-on dildos. Most of the products of public education around her seem to be confusing them with some sort of fashion accessory.
Didn’t South Park already cover this? The one where Mr. Garrison tried to get fired for being gay?
At least she didn’t bring a “hoax bomb” to school.
More like a “hoax dong”, amirite?
This thread is like herpes: The Gift that Keeps on Giving.
I guess stories don’t have to be “real” or “legitimate” to be posted on Reason?
http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp
This story is fake.
Congratulations, you’re the around the 7th or 8th person to point this out.
Or just teaching sex technique to a bunch of lesbians in a sex-positive environment.
If Reason were a religious SoCon organ, then the fact that they fell for this story would be used as evidence of the inherent gullibility of the Sky-Daddy reactionary crowd.
Hey juvenile losers, this story is a fake! You can stop it with your pureile comments.
I think it’s going to take a LOT more than a fake story to stop the puerile comments.
You can stop it with your pureile comments.
NEVER!!!!
I want a direct apology to the great state of Florida, for besmirching her honorable citizens, Nicholas.
I heard this was a hoax and was also on South Park. Not sure if that’s true or not…
HEY GUYS THIS STORY IS FAKE: http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp
Read the full Snopes entry here. And now, back to the original post, which I leave up as a testament to my gullibility.?Nick Gillespie
This is why I love Reason. No ‘mysteriously deleted’ around here. We’re out and proud!
ENB accidentally posted a second set of A.M. Links yesterday morning and then almost immediately deleted them. 9/23/15 NEVER FORGET
Get rid of public schools, and parental outrage disappears along with them. A fine thesis.
Thank you to Nick for coming clean rather than doubling down.
There’s no shame in getting duped when you see what passes for reality these days.
Oh, come on.
Fake, but accurate.
Keep going!
Props on manning up with the prominent correction, Nick.
Come the paleo revolution, you’ll be last up against the wall. Probably. Well, maybe. OK, it could happen, alright?
What happened to the Atkins Revolution?
it was subverted from within.