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Policy

UPDATED: HOAX! This Florida Teacher Strapped on a Dildo to Teach Sex Ed. Then Things Got *Weird*

At least she didn't bring a "hoax bomb" to school.

Nick Gillespie | 9.24.2015 1:56 PM

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UPDATED 3:39 P.M.: As the invaluable Snopes.com reported A YEAR AGO, the following story is a hoax. I apologize for the uncritical recycling of the piece.

It was first reported via the Gray Lady of conspiracy sites, Infowars,com, and is the work of a talented author. From Snopes:

The writer of that post included a biography touting her work on the National Report (a fake news outlet), and other articles on the site included such leg pulls as "DISTURBING NEW TREND: KIDS ARE NOW SMOKING BED BUGS TO GET HIGH," "TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I'M GLAD PAUL WALKER IS DEAD," and "OUR TOP FIVE FAVORITE CELEBRITY OVERDOSES." 

I'm sure you're wondering about the pics. Here, too, Snopes sheds a thousands points of light:

The photos displayed in the original article were not in fact pictures of a Florida substitute teacher named Sharon Mercer, but rather pictures of Carlyle Jansen, the founder and owner of Good for Her (a progressive, female-friendly sex store in Toronto, Ontario), who has upon occasion been invited to give talks about sexual health at Toronto-area high schools. But Ms. Jansen told us that she also teaches sex ed classes for adult audiences, that the photographs displayed in the outrage-provoking article were snapped at a university-level (not a sixth grade) class, and that she "would not have done those positions and discussed strap-ons to that extent in a high school setting."

Read the full Snopes entry here. And now, back to the original post, which I leave up as a testament to my gullibility.—Nick Gillespie

Via the utterly indispensable still-pretty-great-but-not-perfect Twitter feed of Mike Hewlett comes what is quite possibly the ultimate "Florida" story.

Sharon Mercer, a substitute teacher, was teaching a sex ed class for 6th graders at Clinton Middle School in Duval County, Florida, when she proceeded to don 

a phallic apparatus and [began] pantomiming graphic, adult-oriented scenarios during class.

Because this is an age of cell phones, a technology that has proven its value in countless instances of capturing police brutality and other forms of official misconduct, some of her pedagogy was captured for posterity.

She has been suspended by the school. Reports Modern Woman Digest:

Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community, claims she did nothing wrong by portraying these acts for her class, and that the students left school far more enlightened than they had been prior to the days lesson.

In an email exchange with Modern Woman Digest, Sandra Mercer insisted that her suspension was an act of bigotry, and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.

I don't know if her suspension was an act of bigotry. Certainly, Mercer's lesson plan is the sort of thing you definitely want to get clearance for before trying out in most classes.

But I will say this in all seriousness: Just as I've argued that clockmaker "Ahmed Mohamed's Ordeal *Is* The Case for School Choice," so is Mercer's.

In a freer country with a more decentralized, innovative, and just educational system, there would doubtless be schools experimenting with sex-ed programs that would make the nuns who taught me back at St. Mary's Elementary School in Middletown, New Jersey turn whiter than a communion wafer.

And assuming those course offerings were all coordinated via willing parents, teachers, and students, it would be a better world, too.

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NEXT: Pope Francis' Address to Congress May Not Have Been What 'Climate Justice' Activists Were Hoping For

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

PolicyNanny StateCultureCivil LibertiesEducationSchool ChoiceFloridaLGBT
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ...Sandra Mercer insisted that her suspension was an act of bigotry, and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.

    Sounds like she got what she was angling for.

    1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

      #IstandwithSharon

      1. DEATFBIRSECIA   10 years ago

        #IsrtapwithSharon

        FTFY

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          srtap?

          1. WTF   10 years ago

            I think that means he wants to tap her.

          2. Troglodyte Rex   10 years ago

            Let him go, he's on a roll.

      2. In League with the Dark Ones   10 years ago

        Sharon, not Sandra?

      3. Papaduke   10 years ago

        Those poor boys were probably not too keen on standing after that class.

    2. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

      Wait, wait, wasn't there a South Park episode about this? One where Mr. Garrison introduces Mr. Slave for the first time, in an attempt to get fired so he can sue for discrimination?

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        Hell, there was a Monty Python scene about this.

        1. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

          That was played...I was gonna say "straight" and no better word comes to mind, so let's stick with it. South Park was, Mr Garrison decides to get fired for his sexual orientation (dirty perv) and sue, but school is accommodating him, so he keeps escalating (I think that's the one with gerbil's trip through Mr Slave's digestive system).

          Right, Death Camp of Tolerance!

          1. RBS   10 years ago

            Lemmewinks! No!

        2. SoCal Deathmarch   10 years ago

          Simpson's did it.

  2. Paul.   10 years ago

    Via the utterly indispensable Twitter feed of Mike Hewlett comes what is quite possibly the ultimate "Florida" story.

    Well, it took Gillespie to tell me what was trending on twitter, not Rico, but I'll take it.

    *checks box off*

    She has been suspended by the school. Reports Modern Woman Digest:

    Really?

    Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community, claims she did nothing wrong by portraying these acts for her class, and that the students left school far more enlightened than they had been prior to the days lesson.

    I have no doubt they did.

    Anyone here smell a lawsuit in the making?

    In an email exchange with Modern Woman Digest, Sandra Mercer insisted that her suspension was an act of bigotry, and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.

    Doh, should have read further.

    1. Agammamon   10 years ago

      that the students left school far more enlightened than they had been prior to the days lesson.

      Well, not more enlightened about sex. They've got internet in Florida after all. But about how ridiculous some LGBTQBBQWTF people can be - definitely.

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        "Florida Woman Substitute"

    2. Warren's Strapon   10 years ago

      Well, it took Gillespie to tell me what was trending on twitter, not Rico, but I'll take it.

      He did go with a Rico-esque headline, though.

  3. Paul.   10 years ago

    and a step back for gay rights in the workplace.

    Wait a second. Why is strapping on a dildo and imitating the act of sex something squarely in the gay rights corner? Why do they get all the fun?

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Paul, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you shouldn't have to strap on a dildo. You need to see a doctor, buddy.

      1. Paul.   10 years ago

        When I clicked 'reply' I had something, but now it's gone.

        1. Episiarch   10 years ago

          Was it a penis?

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            It evaporated.

          2. Paul.   10 years ago

            Was it a penis?

            No, I think it was my sexual identity.

            1. Episiarch   10 years ago

              Are you sure it wasn't your mom? But I guess that's the same thing.

      2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        SF, you of all people should know that it is not a requirement to strap a dildo around one's waist.

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          He straps it to his butt? Kinky.

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            Or his forehead, like some sort of dickicorn?

            1. This Machine   10 years ago

              His chin; it's called a chin-do.

              1. WTF   10 years ago

                His chin; it's called a chin-do

                Would that make him a chin-ball wizard?

                1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

                  "Plays by sense of smell,
                  Always gets a replay...."

            2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

              Forehead, elbow, feet, back of the head - there are many possibilities.

              1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                I'm partial to one on each shoulderblade, like wings.

            3. Episiarch   10 years ago

              "Apparently, Carl, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract that enables them to rip off your dick."

            4. Hugh Akston   10 years ago

              He straps one to each foot to practice his flying wedding tackle bicycle kick.

          2. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

            Forehead.

            1. SugarFree   10 years ago

              One on each palm, forehead, chin, one on each elbow and shoulder, dicknipples, a circle of six around the real penis, two on each buttcheek, one on each knee and a forest of toe-capping gel jigglers.

              1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                THEN you're ready for Burning Man!

                1. waffles   10 years ago

                  I find the akali dust of the black rock desert makes sex uncomfortable at best. I save the kinky stuff for when I'm back in Reno. At least I have a shower in my hotel room.

                  1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                    Ok, PrideFest then.

                    1. waffles   10 years ago

                      This is more up your alley. And it's this Sunday too! How timely!

              2. Free Market Socialist $park?   10 years ago

                Call yourself the Dildonator.

                1. SugarFree   10 years ago

                  "Is this the Pleasure Abattoir of Sarah Connor?"

                2. R C Dean   10 years ago

                  Call yourself the Dildonator.

                  What's wrong with "Dicktator"?

                  1. Michael   10 years ago

                    What's wrong with "Dicktator"?

                    Some many years ago on Halloween one of my friends dressed up as Fidel Castro with a potato sticking out of his fly. True story.

              3. Hugh Akston   10 years ago

                I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks.

                1. This Machine   10 years ago

                  +1 made of radiation

                  1. RBS   10 years ago

                    - the British Children

                2. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

                  DAMMIT! REFRESH!

              4. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

                Did I mention his four nuts
                Well he also had four dicks
                If you took of his boot you'd see the dicks growing off of his feet
                I heard that motherfucker had like thirty goddamn dicks

            2. Frank Frankelson   10 years ago

              How did we make it this far with no Orgasmo reference?

              Commentariat, I am disappoint.

      3. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

        Why not? How else you gonna DP?

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          Grow another dick like a normal person, you weirdo.

          1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

            Sorry, some of us are not snakes.

            1. SugarFree   10 years ago

              And you never will be with that sort of defeatist attitude.

              1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

                I laughed...a lot.

        2. In League with the Dark Ones   10 years ago

          I was waiting for someone to make this comment.

      4. Agammamon   10 years ago

        He's taking 'the shocker' to the ultimate extreme.

    2. Rhywun   10 years ago

      I wonder if this is the kind of "fun" that John keeps telling us that he misses from gays.

    3. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

      Dildos don't fuck people. People fuck people. It's time to start an open carry movement!

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        Open carry or open strap on?

        1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

          I suppose carrying in your hand might be seen as too threatening.

          1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

            Some sort of brandishing?

            1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

              Sexual assault with a concrete dildo?

  4. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    *unzips*

    1. Caress of Woodchipper   10 years ago

      I don't feel tardy...

  5. Paul.   10 years ago

    In the second picture, the boy in the foreground... where's his left hand?

    1. Citizen X   10 years ago

      You were never a sixth grade boy?

      1. Paul.   10 years ago

        Uhh, I KNOW where MY left hand is.

  6. Warty   10 years ago

    I wonder how many uncomfortable boners this caused in class.

    1. Episiarch   10 years ago

      Are you there, God? It's me, Boner.

      1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

        Way to appropriate a feminist cultural touchstone, Epi.

        1. Episiarch   10 years ago

          It's a patriarch's world, Nicole. You just live in it. As does Judy Blume.

      2. SugarFree   10 years ago

        Warty got his period?

        1. Citizen X   10 years ago

          FINALLY.

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            It was like he was saving it up.

            1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

              Looks like Warty emptied his diva cup.

              1. SugarFree   10 years ago

                Diva Barrel.

                1. Citizen X   10 years ago

                  He had to tow it behind him like a trailer.

    2. Tman   10 years ago

      I would love to see the scene when the class ends and all the girls get up to leave and all the guys are still sitting there like "Uh, I have to uh, sit here for a minute and uh, make some notes...."

    3. Drake   10 years ago

      100%

      I wonder how many of the guys stayed after class to ask some specific questions.

  7. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    Clinton Middle School has quite the dress code.

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      She looks like she might have a pretty good ass. But maybe it's just those jeans doing their job.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        She looks to be very fit, and she has no problems showing off. I assume she is a boner factory for those lucky, confused young men.

  8. Ted S.   10 years ago

    If a non-government sector person had acted like this in front of 6th graders, he would have been arrested and on the sex offender registry by now.

    1. R C Dean   10 years ago

      No. Kidding.

    2. JWatts   10 years ago

      Well yeah. But that would have been an evil, greedy private sector pervert, not an idealistic, noble public sector champion of the down trodden.

      1. Frank Frankelson   10 years ago

        You forgot, LBGTQRSTUVXYZ public sector champion of the down trodden, very important, that bit.

  9. Citizen X   10 years ago

    Also, i'd just like to point out that the alt texts are excellent on this post.

    1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

      I agree.

    2. Jimbo   10 years ago

      They nailed it!

  10. RPatrick   10 years ago

    This is the plot to a South Park episode...she even kind of looks like Mr Garrison

    1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      She looks like she can scissor a timber or two.

      1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

        Scissor me timbers!

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Nicely done, you two.

  11. waffles   10 years ago

    Ok, I laughed. My sex ed class was about 15 years ago and was not quite as sex positive. We instead got graphic images of advanced STD cases. Perhaps the best advice from that class was "the most powerful sex organ in the human body is the brain". Actual good advice.

    1. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

      Pffft., you haven't seen my boner!!!! Even Warty blushes.

  12. Free Society   10 years ago

    You know who is responsible for this lesson plan? The property owners in that school district. /derp

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      You're reliable. So that's good.

      1. Free Society   10 years ago

        Don't let anyone besmirch her honor, Warty. She's been too good to you to allow that.

        1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

          I'm sorry for telling you you're partially responsible for oppression.

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            But are you sorry that he's an abject imbecile? Because I am.

          2. Free Society   10 years ago

            I'm sorry for telling you you're partially responsible for oppression.

            Ah yes, a self-professed anarchist mewing about the collective guilt of tax payers for government action. I should have just let you spout off some emotional stupidity, there's no sense in talking sense to Nikki. I won't bother you anymore, you and Warty can go scissor each other in peace.

            1. RBS   10 years ago

              I won't bother you anymore, you and Warty can go scissor each other in peace.

              Scissor me timbers!

            2. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

              You're not "bothering" me, but you are failing to do much but attempt to belittle me. I'm not an anarchist; I'm a "self-professed" one. I'm "mewing" about "emotional stupidity." If you want to talk sense, try making a case for who is responsible for the state and explaining why it doesn't include the vast majority of taxpayers, as well as the vast majority of those who don't pay taxes.

              1. Free Society   10 years ago

                If you want to talk sense, try making a case for who is responsible for the state

                Statists are not the same thing as tax payers. Nor are they the same thing as voters, or politicians, or police men. These are all different categories of people with some overlap of course, but they cannot simply be equated.

                Now if you wanted to claim that some subset of voters or more tenuously just voters in general are responsible, sure there is some merit to that, but voters and statists are distinct from tax payers who are victims of expropriation.

                Who do you blame for the existence of muggers, Nikki? The people who get held up at gunpoint at night?

                Who is at fault for burglaries, people that have shit to steal?

                1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

                  Now if you wanted to claim that some subset of voters or more tenuously just voters in general are responsible, sure there is some merit to that, but voters and statists are distinct from tax payers who are victims of expropriation.

                  All voters are responsible except voters who vote exclusively in extremely limited referendum-type circumstances that can be considered genuinely defensive.

                  Taxpayers may be victims, but how do you think the state goes on? Because the taxpayers don't burn it the fuck down. Or stop having kids.

                  99% of taxpayers are extremely willing accomplices. Those who are not should be taking some form of direct anti-state action to mitigate their complicity.

                  1. The Shrubber's Woodchipper   10 years ago

                    99% of taxpayers are extremely willing accomplices. Those who are not should be taking some form of direct anti-state action to mitigate their complicity.

                    Some of us, you know, just want to get on with our lives. We want to live happy lives with our families, trying to avoid as much interaction with the state as possible. But because we don't want to fight the man at every opportunity and scream about the injustices of racism in the porn industry, you think that we should be financially responsible for the criminal acts of the government that claims to represent us.

                    1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

                      So you want to insist on continuing to feed the maw of the state but disclaim all responsibility.

                    2. The Shrubber's Woodchipper   10 years ago

                      I don't insist on anything. It's the gov't that insists with effective threats of force. Should I forgo paying my taxes and throw my body in the gears of the state? Do you think that would be in any way effective or result in a positive outcome for me or the family that is dependent on me? Should I sacrifice my family to my hatred of the state?

                  2. Free Society   10 years ago

                    Taxpayers may be victims, but how do you think the state goes on? Because the taxpayers don't burn it the fuck down.

                    It goes on because the state is widely believed to have ethical legitimacy. No single person has the ability and thus no rational moral duty to burn it down. Society as a whole needs to undergo a moral reckoning, the state needs to lose it's legitimacy, like slavery and cannibalism before it lost all ethical legitimacy once upon a time.

                    Or stop having kids.

                    If a person is going to forgo the basic functions life and a basic right of man just because the state exists, you'd might as well not stop at reproduction and just crawl under a rock and die like the other nihilists should do.

                    99% of taxpayers are extremely willing accomplices.

                    I can only think of a tiny handful of people I know who gleefully pay their taxes. I can easily think of an endless gaggle of tax recipients who gleefully take that money however.

                    Then there's my millionaire friends who are a favorite victim of the tax collector and regulatory agency shakedowns et cetera and not a single one of them agrees with either their taxation or the legitimacy of entities robbing them. But even if we accept your 99% figure at face value, it does not justify crimes against that other 1%. What you're supporting here is not justice, it's collective guilt and groupthink that achieves the opposite of smashing the state.

                    1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

                      If a person is going to forgo the basic functions life and a basic right of man just because the state exists, you'd might as well not stop at reproduction and just crawl under a rock and die like the other nihilists should do.

                      Do you think there's some version of life that doesn't involve oppression at the hands of others? This is what the world is like. Everyone is convinced that keeping the hamster wheel going is super important, but all it does is exactly that.

                    2. Free Society   10 years ago

                      So the solution to statism is for all the people who oppose statism, to wither and die. Yeah that should do it.

            3. Warty   10 years ago

              Are you storming off? Are you going to go comment at freerepublic or someplace else where you belong instead of shitting up this place? Please?

  13. Free Market Socialist $park?   10 years ago

    Totally would, but xe has to leave the dildo and the stupidity in the desk drawer.

    1. Agammamon   10 years ago

      Sorry man - crazy is a package deal.

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        "crazy is a package deal"

        Folks, that is what we call WISDOM in the old country.

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          *applauds*

  14. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    "That was a brilliant idea having me shove a gerbil up your ass, Mr. Slave. Now they have to fire us!"

  15. B.P.   10 years ago

    So many questions...

    How deluded do you have to be to think that getting your freak on with a dildo before a captive audience of sixth graders is totally okay, if only it weren't for the bigoted, cis-shitlord patriarchy?

    Doesn't this sort of play into stereotypes that run contrary to the mainstreaming of gay rights? (ie, "Damn sex-obsessed homos! grumble grumble...")

    Finally, this makes me want to get into the substitute teacher pool, so I can perform some outrageously hilarious street theater in front of impressionable younguns.

    1. Free Market Socialist $park?   10 years ago

      Also, how does gender-queer woman work? What the fuck does gender-queer even really mean?

      1. waffles   10 years ago

        It's a woman with really powerful penis-envy.

      2. SugarFree   10 years ago

        In this context it really just means "butch lite."

        1. GILMORE?   10 years ago

          Do they get along with gay men?

          (*i'm starting to get the feeling that gay men are the only people on the LGBTQ spectrum and its assorted satellites that i can actually relate to on most levels. The rest just strike me as some variety of 'self-importantly crazy')

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            Not sure. I think it mostly means "I have short hair."

          2. Agammamon   10 years ago

            That's because of privilege. gay men still get the benefits of patriarchy.

            Seriously though - I've known a few lesbians and while they all cared more for getting the job done and getting paid than anything else, but the rest - from 'gender-queer' on out - are mostly just attention seekers using 'victimization' as a power-aikido move.

            1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

              The majority of lesbians and bi-women whom I have met* are similar to they individuals you have described (although I would add that they liked to enjoy themselves quite a bit as well).

              *By "majority" I mean approximately 30 out of 33 - so not very many.

              1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

                similar to the individuals

          3. wareagle   10 years ago

            and about that spectrum: when did gay stop being all-encompassing. Aren't lesbians gay by definition? And never mind the B crowd literally wanting it both ways.

      3. Rhywun   10 years ago

        I have found that "gender-queer" most often equates to "preening asshole".

        1. Rasilio   10 years ago

          You almost have it right, you missed self absorbed.

          Preening self absorbed assholes.

          The fucking worst are the ones who go our 100% dressed and presenting as the gender that happens to match their biology and then get really fucking pissed at someone for not realizing they are identifying as the opposite gender that day.

        2. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

          Preening asshole - methinks that does not evoke what you think it evokes.

      4. Citizen X   10 years ago

        According to someone i once knew who identified herself as "gender-queer," it basically means "straight but sometimes likes to peg dudes."

        1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

          No, that's bisexual. I think gender-queer means "Sometimes I think I am a chick and sometimes I think I am a dude."

    2. waffles   10 years ago

      Oh I missed this detail. I thought this was in high school. Yeah, 6th graders don't need to know anything about sex positions. This woman is a loon.

      1. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

        This really is terrible. If I had seen this in the 6th grade, I would have started masturbating much sooner.

        1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

          Late bloomer, were you?

  16. bostonaod   10 years ago

    Snopes claims this is fake.. and about a year old

    1. bostonaod   10 years ago

      http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp

      1. Tman   10 years ago

        So there's a better Onion out there?

        "The writer of that post included a biography touting her work on the National Report (a fake news outlet), and other articles on the site included such leg pulls as "DISTURBING NEW TREND: KIDS ARE NOW SMOKING BED BUGS TO GET HIGH," "TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I'M GLAD PAUL WALKER IS DEAD," and "OUR TOP FIVE FAVORITE CELEBRITY OVERDOSES." "

        1. Episiarch   10 years ago

          TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I'M GLAD PAUL WALKER IS DEAD

          That is both hilarious and DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT PAUL WALKER

      2. kinnath   10 years ago

        sweet

      3. R C Dean   10 years ago

        What's really confusing is that, if Snopes is right and this was a totally different woman doing this in another country in front of university students . . .

        Why doesn't the teacher say so? Why is she admitting to doing this, and saying there's nothing wrong with it?

      4. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

        Awwww. Too, bad. This was one government employee that I could get behind.

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          Troy - in Florida, that government employee get BEHIND YOU!

          1. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

            *narrows gaze*

        2. Foo_dd   10 years ago

          don't want to be in front of her

      5. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

        Haha, I love that infowars got trolled with this.

    2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      Whoa - conspiracy guy just got hoaxed? Is that a conspiracy?

    3. Paul.   10 years ago

      So then who IS the young boy in the foreground?

    4. Paul.   10 years ago

      Yep, Gillespie done got trolled.

      Damn, this was too fun.

      1. Drake   10 years ago

        Oh no!

    5. Ayn Random Variation   10 years ago

      Wow, so that's 2 writers here duped in the same week.

      1. waffles   10 years ago

        YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU USE TWITTER AS A PRIMARY SOURCE.

        1. Paul.   10 years ago

          *nods knowingly*

      2. GILMORE?   10 years ago

        What was the other one?

        1. Paul.   10 years ago

          That Trump is running for President.

          1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

            *stands, salutes Paul*

    6. Agammamon   10 years ago

      Hmm, let's see how long it takes for the retraction to be posted.

      Or for the article to 'succumb to the squirrels'.

      1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

        Perhaps Nick will ask us not to talk about it in the future at around 7:15.

  17. Paul.   10 years ago

    BTW, when did Rachel Maddow start teaching middleschoolers?

  18. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    Everyone goes to the best schools except me.

    1. Agammamon   10 years ago

      If you were there then they wouldn't be the best schools anymore.

    2. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

      Sorry, Rufus, but they don't do this in Canadian public schools because the cold weather makes Canadian dildos embarrassingly small.

  19. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

    Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual,

    Two questions.

    1. What is your phone number?

    2. Do you like anal?

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      I think the second photo answers #2.

      1. Episiarch   10 years ago

        Dude, you think that about every photo ever taken.

        1. Citizen X   10 years ago

          Yeah but the crazy thing is, he's usually right.

          1. Episiarch   10 years ago

            I know, but that's too scary to think about at length.

  20. SIV   10 years ago

    The fundies warned us about this shit. At least she could have had the decency to wear latex.

  21. GILMORE?   10 years ago

    " who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community,"

    When the hell is a person ever just "Me" , and not some catalog of fucking random quasi-fictitious associations?

    (*with adjectives like, "Proud!" - because is there really a self-identified "highly shamed" coalition who is just absolutely disgusted with themselves that they're differentiating themselves from?)

    Dear world = I don't care who or what you identify as. I'm treating you all the same.

    1. mad.casual   10 years ago

      Dear world = I don't care who or what you identify as. I'm treating you all the same.

      P.S. - If your hopes and dreams of pride, acceptance, and inclusion rest on me, prepare to be disappointed.

      1. GILMORE?   10 years ago

        "" pride, acceptance, and inclusion ""

        Pride is something that shouldn't be dependent on the opinion of others.

        And re: Acceptance and Inclusion....

        Into what?

        Its this whole idea that people describe themselves as members of "communities" that I don't subscribe to.

        (e.g. "random quasi-fictitious associations")

        a person isn't part of any "community" because of mere identity characteristics. Am I part of a "white male" community, whether i want to be or not? people constantly refer to these fictitious "communities" and give them the appearance of uniformity and homogeneity when their nothing but projections of people's imagination.

        One could better claim there's a "H&R community", because of the actual behaviors and associations people are choosing to make. But even then... so what? Acceptance and Inclusion isn't dependent on Identity or self-nomination.... but rather, "good behavior". See = Bo, Hihn, et al.

  22. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

    Mr. Gillespie,

    I think you got punked with this story:

    http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp

    1. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

      Over/under on how long before some underling ventures into the commenter jungle and notifies the Boss?

      1. GILMORE?   10 years ago

        Before PM links

        1. GILMORE?   10 years ago

          CALLED IT

    2. R C Dean   10 years ago

      Somebody needs to close the gap between:

      Snopes: This never happened and is a satirical story, and

      Modern Woman Digest: Mercer says she did it, and there's nothing wrong with it.

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        Quick look at Modern Woman Digest makes me think it is also a satirical publication, although these days its very hard to tell.

        So, yeah, trolled. And well done, also. The MWD article is spot-on as far as its tone and presentation goes.

        1. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

          Gamergate again proves majority of male gamers are rapists (part 2 in series)
          Male Member Size: Dangers of a Small Partner

          Human sexuality scientists have discovered that men with smaller length could shortens their female partner's life span and cause her to have a bad day or put her in a grumpy mood after unsatisfying intercourse, and could even cause her not to have kids because their member needs a certain length for the sperm to reach the uterus of the female.

          I think we can safely go with "satire". And I'd be willing to bet (but want 3:1 odds), written by non-feminist men and women.

      2. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

        I would be happy to fill that gap.

  23. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    "DISTURBING NEW TREND: KIDS ARE NOW SMOKING BED BUGS TO GET HIGH,"

    Classic.

  24. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

    Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community

    You're really helping the cause.

  25. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

    How have none of you posted this yet?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqI-28meTZ8

  26. SIV   10 years ago

    How did anyone ever find this on Snopes? I google "strap-on teacher" and it returns half the internet.
    Maybe I should have used Bing image search, yeah, that's the ticket.

    1. Free Society   10 years ago

      noooooooooo stop!

    2. This Machine Chips Fascists   10 years ago

      search the "teacher's" name

  27. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    So.

    She's Canadian.

    Why are we always starting things?

    1. GILMORE?   10 years ago

      This explains it

    2. RBS   10 years ago

      Because your new President was fucked to death?

  28. Systemspoet   10 years ago

    you idiots realize this is satire, right, and that article is over a year old?

    http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp

    1. Episiarch   10 years ago

      Yes, these idiots had already figured that out at least two or three separate times before you did, sub-idiot. But well done in any case! You get a participation trophy!

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        I thought we settled on participation RIBBONS.

        Respect the budget, Episiarch!

        1. This Machine   10 years ago

          No, no, there's simply not enough time to go get ribbons for everyone. Just print off some participation certificates on the hallway copier.

          1. Citizen X   10 years ago

            Bad news about the copier - out of toner. I got these participation paperclips i can hand out, though.

            1. This Machine   10 years ago

              Gah, that'll never do. Just draw up a certificate and scan it in. Email it to the whole building. Then they can use it as their desktop wallpaper or something, fuck it.

    2. GILMORE?   10 years ago

      Check out the big brain on Brad

    3. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      We idiots are just having fun - but it appears that The Jacket done got fooled.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        No more fun for you!

      2. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

        Jacket turns around:

        "No, no...I was...I was testing you. You passed! Except those of you who fell for it. Ha ha. How could you believe that? But everyone else, we're going for ice cream!"

    4. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      Hoaxes are still 'bate-worthy, fella.

    5. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      YOUR FACE IS OVER A YEAR OLD

  29. wareagle   10 years ago

    a bisexual, gender-queer woman

    a what? Seriously, I realize the alphabet soup with the LGB-whatever folks is getting convoluted but what the hell is that description?

    1. R C Dean   10 years ago

      I'm just going with LGBTQWERTY.

  30. lap83   10 years ago

    some of her pedagogy was captured for posterity posterior-ity

  31. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

    So if I were to donate to Reason, this is what I can expect for my money? A page of dick jokes? You people are perverted reprobates.

    1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

      I thought we all donated to reason for the dick jokes and perversion.

      1. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

        Your donations are, shall we say, limp.

    2. Zeb   10 years ago

      Says Mr Dick Joke Handle.

  32. HazelMeade   10 years ago

    http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp

    AND YET THE POINT STILL STANDS!

    The world would be a better place with school choice, in which LGBT parents have the option of sending their children to schools where they can be instructed in the proper use of strap-on dildos.

    1. Ayn Random Variation   10 years ago

      Nice

    2. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      I'm looking up on snopes whether it's true of false someone would know the italics tag but not the hyperlink tag.

    3. mad.casual   10 years ago

      AND YET THE POINT STILL STANDS!

      The world would be a better place with school choice, in which LGBT parents have the option of sending their children to schools where they can be instructed in the proper use of strap-on dildos.

      AND THE *OTHER* POINT STILL STANDS! (No, not that one, the other one. Paul's point comment. Paul's comment still stands to reason).

      Why do only the LGBT students get proper private education in the use of strap-on dildos. Most of the products of public education around her seem to be confusing them with some sort of fashion accessory.

  33. Nick W B   10 years ago

    Didn't South Park already cover this? The one where Mr. Garrison tried to get fired for being gay?

  34. R C Dean   10 years ago

    At least she didn't bring a "hoax bomb" to school.

    More like a "hoax dong", amirite?

  35. Troy muy grande boner   10 years ago

    This thread is like herpes: The Gift that Keeps on Giving.

  36. Jackie Fiest   10 years ago

    I guess stories don't have to be "real" or "legitimate" to be posted on Reason?

    http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp

    This story is fake.

    1. RBS   10 years ago

      Congratulations, you're the around the 7th or 8th person to point this out.

  37. OldMexican   10 years ago

    Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community, claims she did nothing wrong by portraying these acts for her class

    Which means that she's also a proud member of the amoral sociopath club.

    1. Paul.   10 years ago

      Or just teaching sex technique to a bunch of lesbians in a sex-positive environment.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        teaching sex technique

        "This goes inside there."

  38. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

    If Reason were a religious SoCon organ, then the fact that they fell for this story would be used as evidence of the inherent gullibility of the Sky-Daddy reactionary crowd.

  39. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    Hey juvenile losers, this story is a fake! You can stop it with your pureile comments.

    1. Paul.   10 years ago

      I think it's going to take a LOT more than a fake story to stop the puerile comments.

    2. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      You can stop it with your pureile comments.

      NEVER!!!!

  40. Florida Man   10 years ago

    I want a direct apology to the great state of Florida, for besmirching her honorable citizens, Nicholas.

  41. IndyEleven   10 years ago

    I heard this was a hoax and was also on South Park. Not sure if that's true or not...

  42. Citizen X   10 years ago

    HEY GUYS THIS STORY IS FAKE: http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/strapon.asp

  43. Paul.   10 years ago

    Read the full Snopes entry here. And now, back to the original post, which I leave up as a testament to my gullibility.?Nick Gillespie

    This is why I love Reason. No 'mysteriously deleted' around here. We're out and proud!

    1. Citizen X   10 years ago

      ENB accidentally posted a second set of A.M. Links yesterday morning and then almost immediately deleted them. 9/23/15 NEVER FORGET

  44. Tony   10 years ago

    Get rid of public schools, and parental outrage disappears along with them. A fine thesis.

  45. Ayn Random Variation   10 years ago

    Thank you to Nick for coming clean rather than doubling down.

    There's no shame in getting duped when you see what passes for reality these days.

    1. Brian   10 years ago

      Oh, come on.

      Fake, but accurate.

      Keep going!

    2. R C Dean   10 years ago

      Props on manning up with the prominent correction, Nick.

      Come the paleo revolution, you'll be last up against the wall. Probably. Well, maybe. OK, it could happen, alright?

      1. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

        What happened to the Atkins Revolution?

        1. Nick Gillespie   10 years ago

          it was subverted from within.

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