Reason Live Tweets the GOP Presidential Debates

News, views, and abuse from the Reason staff on tonight's CNN Reagan Library debate.

We'll kick things off at 6:00 p.m. with the kids' table debate. At 8:00 p.m. we'll dive into prime time. The show will air on CNN and be moderated by Jake Tapper, Dana Bash, and Hugh Hewitt. It can be streamed here.

Extra credit reading:

Peter Suderman suggests "5 Things to Watch for in Tonight's GOP Presidentail Debate" (Hint: Reagan)

Nick Gillespie explains "How Ronald Reagan's Ghost Haunts the GOP" (Hint: Zardoz)

Brian Doherty asks "Trump Not Conservative Enough? Could His Fans Care Less?" (Hint: Rand Paul)

Comments

[commodious spittoon]

Anyone know if this is being streamed online?

[commodious spittoon]

Fucking google, how does it work?

[Marshall Gill]

Thanks, cs, I came here expecting others to do my labor and sure enough, you saved me the trouble of having to gtfa.

[Marshall Gill]

gtfagtfv

[american socialist]

What a shit show. I can't figure out if I'm going to join the Bolshevik faction (8 out of 10 as I count them) who want to put tens of thousands of troops in Syria and Iraq AND are not vaxxers OR the Mensheviks, who propose the opposite.

[Paul.]

What would the political world do without Twitter?

[commodious spittoon]

Comprehensible?

Well, marginally more.

[commodious spittoon]

*do*. I read *be*

Whatever. I'm getting a drink.

[Crusty Juggler]

If twitter didn't exist those girls would not be home right now, I can tell you that much.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

"Will the winner of the kiddie debate be promoted to the main stage? Spoiler: No. Nothing matters."

Sheesh. Way to bring things down, Rico.

[Brochettaward]

Being in the early debate the first go around I think was a benefit. Fewer people and more time to speak. This time around, no...god no.

[Paul.]

Matt, isn't the emergency test the ultimate fuck you to the anti-government GOP?

[Old Man With Candy]

I'm waiting for one of them to say "fuck" or get shot. That's worth TWO drinks.

[sasob]

Lindsey Graham said bastards in reference to IS in the earlier debate. Ought to be worth a snort or two.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I demand one of you tweet this in the voice of that Aussie watching the San Fran/Vikings game from Monday night.

"Righto."

[Brochettaward]

Fuck Robby. That's about all I have so far.

[Slammer]

This movie music and narrator is dramatic as fuck! I'm pumped!

[Corning]

So drinking game?

Every time a slmy reason writer tweets one of the following words:

Nativist, racist, xenophobe, restictionist, sexist, ass-mouth cunt-mouth or mentions India you have to drink.

Drink twice if a non-reason writer apes those words.

[Corning]

If Suderman tweets the word "undocumented" you can make someone else drink

[Hugh Akston]

Also take a drink every time Corning shows off his paranoid persecution complex.

[Mr Lizard]

"and abuse from the Reason staff"

I thought the Comentariot had a monopoly on abuse?

[commodious spittoon]

Remind me why Pataki is on my screen?

[commodious spittoon]

Pimping out your handicapped daughter. Classy.

[Pompey]

Paging Governor Hassan.

[fieryscribe]

That was a Graham cracker!

[commodious spittoon]

Remind me why Graham is on my screen?

[Hyperion]

Are you actually watching this?

[commodious spittoon]

It's this or homework. I can drink and do this.

[Hyperion]

Well, what are you studying?

[Mazakon]

Fun game: Reason writers and commentators drink every time Trump is mentioned.

[Hyperion]

The writers are not allowed to drink with us.

[Crusty Juggler]

What do these "kiddie table" morons think they are going to accomplish by being in these debates?

[commodious spittoon]

How is Jindal in the little league and Huckabee's swinging with the sluggers? As far as pandering base-pleasing platitudes he hits it out of the park.

[fieryscribe]

Graham just got burned

[Hyperion]

You cosmotarian tweety birds might as well hang it up. You are no match for the commentariat here. Leave the comment to the masters. Go back to writing weak tea articles so that we can help you out by at least making the comment section worth reading.

[commodious spittoon]

Most punchable face: Graham or Santorum?

[Hyperion]

Yes

[brady949]

Santorum only because I would never hit a Southern Belle like Lindsey

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Retweeting Dave Weigel?

No thanks. I'l show myself to the door.

Oh, and if any of you know how this tweeter shit works, tell Weigel to stop washing his face with pepperoni grease. I never thought anyone would need to be told that, but here we are.

[Hyperion]

I typically don't care how something works when it's retarded and of no value whatsoever.

[fieryscribe]

I love these Trump Presidential Debates. We're trying to find out the next nominee for the Trump party, right?

[commodious spittoon]

over five thousand Americans lost their jobs

AT LEAST IT WASN'T MEXICANS LOSING THOSE JOBS.

[LynchPin1477]

Why the fuck is there an Air Force 1 mock up in the background?

[Slammer]

It's Reagan's

[commodious spittoon]

Lindsay Graham, running on the important issues of 2004.

[commodious spittoon]

a e

[Paul.]

Tony Fisher: Do you mean, which construct created by dead white slave owners will Christie roll his eyes at?

[commodious spittoon]

Indentured servitude is a noble American tradition.

[commodious spittoon]

CNN should have rented out Megyn Kelly to keep these clowns in line.

[commodious spittoon]

Well suddenly this is slightly interesting. Fuck moderation.

[Hyperion]

I thought that O'Malley wanted to be elected President? I guess he's given up on that:

I'm going to run on gun control, derpity derrrrr!

[commodious spittoon]

HERP HERP HERP

I wonder whether he's the Pataki of the Democrat primary: only there to get himself into the news.

[commodious spittoon]

How does President Obama sleep at night? *awkward pause where applause was supposed to go*

[PH2050]

Lol. Just logged on, time to start the drinking game.

[sasob]

How does President Obama sleep at night?

Probably hanging upside down from the ceiling.

[Hyperion]

Aww, look, little Ricky Sweater Vest wants to out war monger the Lindsey, how cute.

[commodious spittoon]

Graham 2016: Don't Double Down, Triple Up!

[Slammer]

Blargh kill kill kill

[Hyperion]

Nooo, I'm the Sweater Vest and I'll out war monger the Lindsey!!!!

Lol, now Jindal is jumping on the war drum thumping wagon.

20k ground troops, no 40k, no I'll send 50k!

[Agile Cyborg]

Jindal runs a state where rural Sheriffs own prisons. Little wonder the small dark-skinned boy has no problem with war drums. Christ, Jindal is a dick booger.

[PH2050]

MOAR TROOPS SOLVES ERRYTHANG

[Agile Cyborg]

I think cloning will gain traction when we have to fight wars no one wants to die for.

[PH2050]

C'mon bro, you know Terminator killbots are coming way before cloning.

Cloning will be for growing my replacement organs so I can live forever.

[Agile Cyborg]

Cloning will also be for PHtwentyfifty to buy his own goddamn self online cloned by http://www.cloneyourself.com so he can get fucked in the asshole by a randy PHtwentyfifty.

[PH2050]

You can join in if you bring your own clone. And tons of hot black female clones. A clone orgy.

[Agile Cyborg]

There was time when a tweeter was not a person with super empty eyeballs clacking lines on a shiny surface.

[commodious spittoon]

Hold bureaucrats responsible for their actions. BOOM instant discretion.

[Hyperion]

Wow, it's really amateur hour. No wonder Carly beat up on these pussies.

And my gawd, that twitter noise is driving me fucking crazy.

[commodious spittoon]

RADICAL TEENAGE ISLAMIST CLOCKMAKERS

[Hyperion]

Just imagine if he would have had a pot leaf on that alarm clock.

[commodious spittoon]

But you know who's the real victim here? Kim Davis.

[Paul.]

I thought it was America.

[Hyperion]

Whatever those two events have to do with each other, only a idiot politician could figure out.

[Hyperion]

Man, Graham is truly a one trick pony. He literally cannot open his mouth without bringing up ISIS.

[Agile Cyborg]

Why is Graham worth the energy required to move your fingers?

[Paul.]

That makes three of us.

[Paul.]

It's like those boxing movies where the fighter's manager notices that the opponent is vulnerable to a right hook whenever he steps back on his left heel.

Someone told Graham to yell, "ISIS" whenever there's an opening to speak.

[commodious spittoon]

Uh, Santorum, wasn't that anecdote later repudiated?

[Paul.]

Nobody should be going to jail over cakes & photos, but the idea that Xtians are being "persecuted" en masse a la @BobbyJindal is a joke

They're being persecuted en micro.

[commodious spittoon]

Santorum, you mook. Do you even Constitutional law?

[Tonio]

Um, even Jindal backed the fuck off of that "going to jail" nonsense even before he finished that thought. Yeah, sure, Kim Davis, but difference between small business fined and elected official defying federal judge; even Jindal acknowledged that.

[Paul.]

Now you're en microaggressing me.

[commodious spittoon]

Why do you need to hedge on this? I think most people, even fundies, understand that you get fired if you don't do your job.

[Tonio]

Yes, but when it happens to fundies it's teh persecution. When they do it to others it's religious feedom.

[Tonio]

"Thank you, Governor." 6.02E+23 times

LOL

[fieryscribe]

Santorum quoting MLK Jr? Now, I've seen everything

[commodious spittoon]

STUMBLE, YOU MOUTHBREATHING MOTHERFUCKER. I WANT TO SEE YOU SWEAT.

[Agile Cyborg]

My eyeballs interpreted this as Santorum milking MLK JR. You haven't seen everything until the moment MLK JR milk flows into the palms of superduper Christian Santorum.

[Paul.]

I don't care what any of you cynical bitchez say, this debate has been very helpful in identifying who I won't be voting for.

[commodious spittoon]

I see four of them right this moment!

[Hyperion]

Well, this fucker that I've never heard of before is the best in this debate. Holy bejeebus, Santorum is a moron.

[PH2050]

You talking about Pataki?

[Hyperion]

Yes

[commodious spittoon]

Agreed. Still no idea why he's here, though.

[Paul.]

Why are the Reasonoids spamming the hashtags?

[Bruce Majors]

Meanwhile, at the DNC http://www.breitbart.com/big-g.....p-has-one/

[Hyperion]

Hilldawg the Matriarch says no debates. So shut up, pissants!

[commodious spittoon]

Oh my God, Graham. "You know what's the worst thing about ice cream headaches? ISIS."

[Paul.]

Get government 'straight outta marriage' or outta straight marriage?

[commodious spittoon]

Straight marriage: eliminated. Gay marriage: mandatory.

[Paul.]

That's cruel and unusual punishments!

[Hyperion]

Man, the moderators here are better at cutting people off than Kennedy.

[Agile Cyborg]

She actually did really good on that show with four hot women Agile Cyborg wants to fuck. Kennedy was super proper and Fox mature. I just hope she doesn't change too fucking much- not matter the fine boy Hyp demands. Loose canons are really nice on tight TV's.

[Paul.]

Loose canons

What you did there, I sore it.

[Hyperion]

Well, she has some fine legs is that counts.

[Slammer]

You can't practice your religious freedom if you're dead from radical muslims!

[PH2050]

Check please.

[Slammer]

I forgot to use the Graham font

[PH2050]

You can't hug your children with nuclear arms!

/Norm McDonald Grim Reaper

[Paul.]

T Becket: Danga zone!?

[Hyperion]

Oh fuck you Graham! Fuck John Penaltax Roberts!

[Hyperion]

OMG, the most important election ever! We have to win!

[Agile Cyborg]

The fantasy is strong with this one, earth rainbows.

[Hyperion]

Shut the fuck up Santorum, you moron!

[Paul.]

Disagree that conservative judicial restraint brought us Obamacare. That was straight up activism to not find that shit unconstitutional.

[Paul.]

Where da bitchez at?

[Hyperion]

Dem bitches, they be slackin again.

[Tonio]

Calling out Graham on saying nice things about HR Clinton. Nice.

[Hyperion]

Oh, Graham praised Clinton, one of his neocon butt buddies? I'M FUCKING SHOCKED!

[commodious spittoon]

Paging SugarFree...

[PH2050]

Don't you dare summon him. Don't you know what Lovecraftian horrors await?

[commodious spittoon]

Some of us just want to see the world burn and require a soothing topical ointment.

[commodious spittoon]

Are we really worried about the overwhelming power of Congress? With an activist president and an untethered SCOTUS?

[commodious spittoon]

Graham: Hillary is terrific, best ever, love of my life, but WEAK ON ISIS

[GILMORE?]

"
Josh Barro
@jbarro
This is literally a call for a theocracy. twitter.com/johnjharwood/s? "

I'm not sure what should bother me more = what santorum thinks, or whether Josh Barro's concern should matter to anyone.... or that Tony the Fish follows Josh Barro for lulz?

I guess the important takeaway is that the "kids table" debates are supposed to be light entertainment before the main event... like a mime-show before a prize fight.

[Paul.]

Mime shows are silent. Silent Gilmore, silent.

[commodious spittoon]

It's a mummer's farce.

/GRRM

[commodious spittoon]

It's a mummer's farce.

/GRRM

[Tonio]

More like the difference between TV wrasslin and real Wrestling.

[Tonio]

Graham is not a closet homo!!1!

Shut your whore mouth, Gillespie.

[Brochettaward]

Am I the only one wondering if Nick puts on the jacket while doing the live chat?

[Tonio]

At HyR jacket put on you!

[lap83]

I assume the jacket has no need to keep up the charade and posts without him

[PH2050]

The Jacket is to Nick Gillespie as the alien symbiote is to Venom in Spider-Man comics.

[Rockabilly]

Machete don't tweet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PKx2Gyiav8

[commodious spittoon]

Probability a flat tax ever passes in our lifetime: much less than 20%.

[commodious spittoon]

ever passes in our lifetime

I'm so anti-tax I'm anti-syntax.

[brady949]

HURRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Hyperion]

Wow, Santorum is the human representation of a clusterfuck.

[Tonio]

[Narrows gaze]

[commodious spittoon]

Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator. Thank you senator.

[Paul.]

*looks around nervously*

[Tonio]

STFU, sputum. I was there first with "governor" upthread.

But yeah, Graham and Jindal are those guys.

[Tonio]

Santorum!

[Paul.]

Nick, how can you be drunk AND substance-free at the same time?

[Hyperion]

Alcohol is not a substance! It's a drink!

[Hyperion]

So, this Patahoochi or whatever the fuck his name is, these guys do not belong on the same stage with him. It's like some 2nd graders debating an educated adult. It's not that he's that good, it's that the rest of them are a fucking human train wreck.

[PH2050]

I agree. Why is there even a "pre-debate", this is stupid.

[Tonio]

Because everyone loves midget wrasslin. Where you from?

[PH2050]

Lol, I'm from a place where I can buy "white lightning" in a jar from an associate. It's my liver I'm concerned about...

[Tonio]

Cousin!

[Hyperion]

The midget wrasslin is just to get em all greased up so that we can load em up for the midget cannon shoot.

[Rhywun]

Well, he was a 3-term governor whose notable achievement - and it's a good one - is that nobody remembers him any more.

[PH2050]

Ha, nice.

[Tonio]

"The Republicans don't believe..."

Really, Ricky? Are you going third party? Oh, please, oh, please...

[commodious spittoon]

Fuck you, Santorum. Jesus fucking Christ, you're going to lock up the economic populist vote with an appeal to disemploying more teenagers?

[Paul.]

Whatever gets you elected twice...

[Tonio]

Eeeeeewwwww.

[Agile Cyborg]

This thread is possessed by vertical demons and the erudite agents thereof.

[commodious spittoon]

HAHAHAH Apparently owning a business isn't working for a living. HAHAHAH YOU TOOL, SANTORUM.

[Pan Zagloba]

shikha sood dalmia
@shikhadalmia
Jindal's INDIAN parents came here legally because they could! Mexicans can't.

That's a Dalmia parody account, right?

[PapayaSF]

Yeah, I was going to laugh about that, too.

[Pan Zagloba]

Oh, my Lord, that account is a just full of delights!

shikha sood dalmia ?@shikhadalmia 21h21 hours ago

Is Trump's promise of mass deportations just another form of ethnic cleansing?

shikha sood dalmia ?@shikhadalmia Sep 13

US has the Statute of Liberty and Germany is the one taking in the huddled Syrian masses. May be America should just ship the Lady over.

shikha sood dalmia ?@shikhadalmia Sep 7

Her book tries 2 prve tht Mexicns r prone 2 child rape.Caling her evil is insultng evil!Ann Coulter's fall frm grace http://www.salon.com/2015/06/

(cut out the Salon link because it was breaking the post and, also, Salon)

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's that annoying sound?

And I'd better be entertained tonight.

Canadians demand the very mediocre best.

[Paul.]

Do Canadians debate?

[brady949]

Canadians politely agree to disagree.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

NO. We politely listen and then kill.

[commodious spittoon]

Jack Johnson: I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far!

John Jackson: And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!

[Tonio]

Our shame laid bare, Rufus. We let you in because you're family, but don't tell the eurotrash.

[Paul.]

By "family" do you mean "back room sprog you don't let out when company is over"?

[Pan Zagloba]

You have another definition of "family"?

Oooh, wise guys in black suits and....got it!

[Tonio]

Rufe, in the South we trot them out to show everyone how humane they are.

[Tonio]

"we are"

Drunkt, you know.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I'm the CANADIAN GIMP?!

[Hyperion]

It's that fucking tweety bullshit, it's driving me nuts!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I had to mute my compooter.

[Hyperion]

So Grahmmy Poo is gonna nuke Iran again? Zzzzzzzzzz

[Rebel Scum]

I don't think Lindsay Graham knows what words mean.

[commodious spittoon]

You know who else has a massive ordnance penetrator...?

[Rebel Scum]

On Topic: My nickname for my penis is "Bunker-Buster".

[commodious spittoon]

Buries in deep and explodes?

[Tonio]

Heh.

[PH2050]

"Baby, I need to buy some Magnums for my JDAM GBU-28"

[Rebel Scum]

Buries in deep and explodes?

That's the idea, isn't it? I don't like to pull out.

[PH2050]

"Graham 2016! ISIS ISIS ISIS ISIS ISIS ISIS ISIS ISIS!"

[Tonio]

Needs more ISIS.

[Tonio]

OMG, Santorum the fondler of dead fetii accuses someone else of being a death cult?

[commodious spittoon]

Still bugged that Santorum got the last word on minimum wage. You want to talk about price floors, jabroni? How does $0 sound?

[Tonio]

Ricky is a social justice socon.

[Paul.]

Is there another type of socon?

[Tonio]

Dammit, Paul, don't get Eddie all pissy.

[PH2050]

Graham with the Reagan fellatio. Why am I not surprised.

[Tonio]

He is not a homo!!1!

[PH2050]

NTTAWWT. That was a cheap shot, I'll admit.

[Hyperion]

A nuclear Iran is the end! And that's my best line, bitches!

[Rebel Scum]

Putin is just puttin' us on...

[Rhywun]

Putin' on the Ritz - supah dupah!

[commodious spittoon]

And now the wall is down, the Marxists frown
There's foreign shops all over town
When in Red Square, well don't despair
There's Levi's and McDonald's there
The US gave us crystal meth
And Yeltsin drank himself to death
But now that Putin's put the boot in,
Who'll get in our way?

[commodious spittoon]

Piss.

[commodious spittoon]

A war in Syria, in America.

[Tonio]

Because we are so great we can fight a ME war on our own fucking soil. MURKA!

[Tonio]

See, Graham is not a homo. All the homos are "pro-choice" allies of the baby killers.

[commodious spittoon]

Graham makes a plea for a Republican president, just not himself.

[Hyperion]

And winning means perpetual war, comrade!

[Tonio]

Yes, this.

[PH2050]

He's stealing Trump's exhortation to be #WINNING

[commodious spittoon]

Conservatives can't win as Republicans, so maybe they can run as something else and win. Derp.

[commodious spittoon]

Needs or Pataki.

[commodious spittoon]

Can someone get on the horn with CNN and see about bumping Huckabee for Pataki?

[PH2050]

Seriously! How the hell is this even happening. He at least sounds more reasonable (drink) than the Shucksabee.

[Tonio]

Thank you, Senator.

[Hyperion]

You know, all of these stooges except for Pocatachy sound like a bunch of church ladies arguin and a frettin after a Sunday morning service.

[Tonio]

STFU, Tim Dimond, you snarky bitch.

[Paul.]

Thanks for the blue balls, Matt!

[Rhywun]

Hm... watch NYCFC lose again, or more debatin'?

[Paul.]

no, just more batin.

[Rhywun]

I knew I could count on you guys.

[kevrob]

I don't care which MLS team wins in Metric Football, but since NYCMFC is half-owned by the Yankees, I'm agin' `em.''

My Metsies dropped another one to /F/l/o/r/i/d/a/ ...Miami.
I think their ugly softball tops mess with the Mets' batters' eyeballs.

Subway series, next!

Listening to GOP clones while watching baseball is not recommended. I think I'm going to vote for Ron Darling. He's smart - majored in American Studies at Yale.

Kevin R

[commodious spittoon]

Scott Shackford@SShackford
There's nothing "original" about a fictional world where the Nazis won WWII, Amazon.

The Nazis lost, the socialists won.

[Paul.]

Well, Hitler's economics won the day, that's for sure.

[commodious spittoon]

Hey, man, I got things done. Probably not things you wanted, but they got done. So vote for things, vote for doing, vote for me.

[Tonio]

Suderman is drunk.

[gaijin]

Lindsay thinks Kasich has taken his spot at the big show tent.

[Tonio]

Graham is on Islamism like santorum on a rentboy.

[gaijin]

Is the TSA running security on that plane in the background?

[commodious spittoon]

South Carolina: sending us Graham is unforgivable, but this helps.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I was hoping for some coupons to South of the Border.

[commodious spittoon]

The rest area contains restaurants, gas stations, and a motel, and truck stop as well as a small amusement park, shopping and fireworks. Its mascot is Pedro, an arguably offensive caricature of a Mexican bandido.

Oh, there's nothing arguable about Mexicans taking jobs from hardworking American mascots.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I love how Pedro is sleeping in half those signs that seemingly start in Virginia.

[Hyperion]

Shorter Lindsey Graham: I'm a war munger and I ain't gonna talk bout nuthin else!

Lindsey, what do you think about economic policy? I said I'm a gonna get ISIS, nuke Iran, more bigger military bases!

[PH2050]

I would drink her bathwater...

[Paul.]

I'm in my bunk.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's a GOP Debate?

Sounds disgusting.

[Hyperion]

CNN thinks that the GOP is going to win the potus race in 2016. You heard it here first. They're like Jihadists, they will switch teams at the flip of a dime.

[Paul.]

They're just in a depression fog over Hillary's felony troubles. They'll get over it once the DNC talking points come through on the fax.

[gaijin]

they will switch teams at the flip of a dime
That would make cents...at some point they need to have some market share (ie ratings) I guess.

[Paul.]

Go ahead and laugh people, but Zombie Reagan would probably poll at double digits

Probably?

[PH2050]

The future of the GOP lies in necromancy and hoodoo. Awesome.

[Rebel Scum]

I prefer zombie Calvin Coolidge.

[commodious spittoon]

Zombie Harding or GTFO.

Zombie Harding and GTFO.

[Paul.]

What's Zombie Silent Cal? Chopped liver?

[Hyperion]

My gawd this blond bimbot is totally brainless. Shut up!

[gaijin]

Why do you hate Wolf Blitzer

[PH2050]

He's a platinum blonde?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Trump needs to show his softer side tonight. Pet a pussy, cry a little, read a poem. Stuff like that.

I should get into this business.

[commodious spittoon]

Strategically leak the Ivana/Donald sex tape?

[Slammer]

Did Graham mention ISIS?

[gaijin]

no. he mentioned ISIL though

[PH2050]

He's an ancient Egyptian religious devotee, don't judge him.

[Paul.]

Look, if SE Cupp starts talking, I start looking.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Do I have to do everything for you people?

http://bit.ly/1LhLTPt

Mmmichelle.

[PH2050]

I'll be in my bunk.

[Tonio]

OMG, this is gong to be 'Uuuuuge!

[Paul.]

Nice Trump impersonation.

[Palin's Buttplug]

New thread for the BigShits!

2% club!

[commodious spittoon]

That is a depressingly long line of lecterns.

[Paul.]

We should build a fence around them, with immigrant labor.

[gaijin]

they should arrange them in a circle and each lecturn should contain a pistol...

[commodious spittoon]

Brilliant. gaijin for RNC chairman.

[CatoTheYounger]

Oh, I forgot about this. Will probably watch it later, but I wouldn't be amiss if I didn't.

[Agile Cyborg]

I put my fucking Shiba Inu in a goddamn Uma-Plata and the bitch fucking swung his powerful eye whites in my direction and I was fucking stunned and the Shiba rolled my stunned body over for a back defense posture and choked my goddamn shit out and I only fucking lived to have my fingers post this because I cleverly hung dog treats around my neck which distracted the Shiba whereupon the ninja skills of Agile Cyborg spun his lightning quick defense and pinned the Yoshi for a dog arm tapout. Agile Cyborg for the narrow win! Small samurai in furry skin and cute face LOSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Paul.]

You have a Shiba? My daughter desperately wants one of those.

[gaijin]

They are not 'people' dogs..but then Agile is a Cyborg, so...

[Agile Cyborg]

Yes and he is a bitching ninja doge. Don't buy a purebred tho unless you have the time to invest in these intelligent dogs. They get bored with kids unless the kids are on top of their shit and Agile Cyborg refuses to own a bright animal without scheduling his offspring every single fucking day to play with the little genius. Super bright and super NOT a dumbass Labrador. Shiba Inu is sorta like a dog human so I treat him as such with the reality that Agile is alpha robot and Yoshi is perfectly content with this arrangement. Behavioral issues have been relatively minor and he loves partying.

[Paul.]

This person paid to promote this tweet pic.twitter.com/3hk58LFbTI

Whoa. what now? I asked our distracted millennials to explain twitter, they never mentioned this feature.

[Hyperion]

I'm fryin some little fishies and okra.

[PH2050]

Just finished burning some marinated chicken thighs on the Weber, got the margaritas (1800, Simply Limeade, Grand Marnier) flowing.

[Paul.]

I wish you were my neighbor.

[PH2050]

I like your sense of humor in your posts. If you can make it up to the Appalachians, you're welcome anytime.

[Hyperion]

I'm cooking indoors, it's too dark to fire up the Weber Q. I need to get some lights out there.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm starving because I'm spending my evening watching this circus.

[Crusty Juggler]

I am enjoying some of the world's greatest invention, meat loaf.

[Hyperion]

If Trump will beat up Jeb before the debate starts and then Jersey the Hutt too, he has my vote.

[Crusty Juggler]

What are the odds we hear a reference to Slow Poke Rodriguez, Speedy Gonzalez's cousin?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Man that's the best. Must drive the asshole left mad.

AND WILL SOMEONE SHUT THAT TYPING SOUND SHIT DOWN?

[Hyperion]

It's the tweeter tard shit. I've shut it out now, but it was driving me nuts.

[Rebel Scum]

I forgot about the one thing I like about CNN: Sarah Elizabeth Cupp.

[commodious spittoon]

Of course Trump is front and center. Goddamnit.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Check for their flag pins.

[Atanarjuat]

Who is the really tall guy next to Rando Paul? They haven't showed his face yet.

[Hyperion]

For the Republican party, the most important objective here, is get rid of that curly haired trouble maker. Then we can get down to business with the status quo.

[gaijin]

Unfortunately, I think you are correct...then they go after Trump.

[Paul.]

BTW: I would vote for Hillary if she showed up to a debate in her Dr. Evil outfit.

[Rich]

Ground rules, motherfucker. Will you stick to them?

[commodious spittoon]

None of us is, you semiliterate ape.

[commodious spittoon]

Goddamnit, wasn't a response to you.

[Rich]

Oh, I know none of *us* is sticking to ground rules!

[Quincy.]

The Man in the High Castle ad was frighteningly appropriate.

[Palin's Buttplug]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

The Huckster is not wearing a flag pin!

Why does he hate America?

[Paul.]

Oh, flag pin...

[Tonio]

Anyone else having trouble with CNN online feed? Was supposed to be free but now wants me to sign in.

[commodious spittoon]

No problems.

[Paul.]

CNN online feeds are a human right.

[Tonio]

STFU, Hippie.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Huckabee.

Jesus Christ.

And who's Murdoch?

[Tonio]

An Australian. Finally someone from a native english speaking (kinda) country who you can look down upon.

[Hyperion]

Rubio and Walker both remind me of Santorum. I don't like either of them. The body langauge has told me that they're asshats.

Oh, and shut the fuck up, Huckabee, you dickhead.

[Rebel Scum]

@Rubio: That was so gay.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Cruz admits he's Irish-Italian-Cuban but not CANADIAN!

[Hyperion]

He doesn't look like the Italian mob to me. My wife's grandparents immigrated to Brazil from Sicily and they actually were the Italian mob and I can see it some of her siblings. Well, I can see it in her too, she's meaner than hell.

[Hyperion]

Shut up Rubio, you moron!

[Brochettaward]

I hate Ted Cruz more than any other Republican. Just a complete slimy sack of shit.

[Hyperion]

I actually like him better than most.

[Rebel Scum]

Same. Second to Rand in my opinion.

[Rebel Scum]

Ben Carson 2016: For the Children

[commodious spittoon]

I'm Theodore Cruz. I don't always get that faraway look in my eyes, but when I do it's because I'm thinking about how much I love America.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Trump is the best.

Billions Best.

[commodious spittoon]

Made, lost, who's counting? Not my creditors!

[Rich]

Bush wants the people to rise up again!

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Jeb Bush is soooooo boring.

[Brochettaward]

Jeb has new hair. I bet that alone helps him poll several points better.

Scott Walker going right for jugular with the Reagan reference.

[Hyperion]

Shut up Donald, you fucking moron! Jeb, you boring dude.

[commodious spittoon]

Shut the fuck up, Donny!

[commodious spittoon]

Anyone else forget Bush is even on the stage?

[Crusty Juggler]

Dick Cheney didn't.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Carly, Why so serious?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fiorina: #wheresmyneck?

[Hyperion]

Look, it's the horse face talking!

[Crusty Juggler]

You leave Hillary Swank alone!

[Rhywun]

What's a "Kasich"?

[Rebel Scum]

An old English ship?

[Derpetologist]

Billions and billions....of dollars.

/Donald Sagan

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Lift and grow America.

How the fuck do you do that literally?

[commodious spittoon]

Importing Syrians. DUH.

[commodious spittoon]

Who the fuck is Kasich? Honest question. I hadn't heard of him until a few months ago.

[Hyperion]

Who the fuck is that guy? Is he the Patahoochie of the first tier debate?

[SIV]

Former Reason "libertarian Republican" coverboy/pin-up. Tax-raisin' RINO gungrabber.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Christie: #Iforgottocutmyhospitalbracelet.

[Hyperion]

SHUT THE FUCK UP FAT BOY! I WANT THE CAMERA OFF YOUR FATASS TOO, FOREVER!

[Quincy.]

I FLEW ON THAT PLANE! A DEWEY STEWARDESS HANDED ME A SWORD!

[PH2050]

Christie: "How many of you want your kids' lives ruined over a little bit of pot? That's why I'm running for President."

[Hyperion]

Damn, Carly looks mean. I think I like her.

[commodious spittoon]

Trump looks like a guppy.

[Brochettaward]

CNN trying to get Republicans to attack one another right off the bat. It's not debate because you ask them about another candidate. That's not a question with any actual substance.

Trump goes way off and just launches an attack on Paul.

[db]

Meh

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fiorina is sharp.

Trump burns Paul - wow!

[Hyperion]

What? How did Trump burn Paul? He looks like a damn moron.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Burns him with his stupidity I meant. Sorry.

[Rebel Scum]

I don't even respect Trump in this country.

[Derpetologist]

Is anyone else having a problem with your screen suddenly shifting up to a stupid ad about a fat guy in an office?

[commodious spittoon]

It's painful watching Rand.

[SIV]

He's a loser. America needs to win.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Paul is better looking than Trump. Paul needs to keep cool.

[Brochettaward]

How did Paul not handle that perfectly? He was calm and everything he said was rational and on point.

You people would have Paul become a potted plant.

[PH2050]

Agreed. The junior high comment was perfect.

[Hyperion]

Rand just tricked Trump into looking unhinged, it worked perfectly.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

No you misread. He did handle it well. I just meant he shouldn't lose his cool and get roped in by Trump.

[commodious spittoon]

What if CNN just expelled Trump? Wouldn't that be great?

[Slammer]

A trapdoor would be awesome

[Hyperion]

The Donald just fucked up by attacking Paul, walked right into that.

[commodious spittoon]

Trump taking shots at hardworking dogcatchers.

[Rebel Scum]

Did Trump learn nothing from the Romney campaign. I made a gajillion dollars! is everything little marxist progs need to gin up their base.

[Brochettaward]

Nah. Trump embraces that shit. It works for him.

[commodious spittoon]

I fell asleep for a moment there. Was someone talking?

[Tonio]

Sheesh, Suderman, it's called #WINNING

[commodious spittoon]

You're using the talking points of the Democrats...

I'm using facts.

If that isn't some subtext for you.

[Derpetologist]

He just said "yuuuge"!

Everyone! DRINK!

[Brochettaward]

CNN's format here is horrible. Shit show questions. Fox had a much better format. CNN just wants to pit people against one another with personal attacks.

[commodious spittoon]

Trump's idiot supporters might hate them some Megyn, but she was twice the moderator Tapper is.

[Tonio]

The media thrive off conflict.

[Brochettaward]

Every question is about Trump. CNN wants entertainment. Fox's crew, to my own surprise, tried to bring out some actual content. Was a lot of it cliches? Sure.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Trump is going to go berserk at some point.

Hopefully Christie is his target.

[Tonio]

Poor Kaisich, he truly misunderstands US politics.

[commodious spittoon]

Conservative change should not be construed to include gun control reform.

[Derpetologist]

Christie wants to be a vessel? I guess he means an oil tanker.

[Slammer]

A greasetrap

[PH2050]

I feel there are better choices for Avatars out there.

[Rich]

CNN really sucks at these questions.

[SIV]

There's a reason Fox draws 3 times the viewers

[Rebel Scum]

Sexy blondes?

[Crusty Juggler]

Short skirts (Tantaros, the other retarded one who was married to Gavin Newsom)

[Rebel Scum]

I forgot about Tantaros. I don't discriminate by hair color. She's hot too. Also, I used to mostly have fox on while muted. So retarded, not retarded, don't care.

[commodious spittoon]

Carson's dropping some hard truths on the stage that literally everyone acknowledges as a matter of course.

[Hyperion]

He's a little awkward.

[Quincy.]

He's thoughtful and deliberate when he speaks. It makes you look retarded on TV.

[Hyperion]

He's spent decades surrounded by academia fuckheads.

[Tonio]

But doing so in a boring, ineffectual manner. And without saying what he'd do differently.

[Rebel Scum]

Fiorina is being too nice. Bring out the CLAWS.

[Rich]

The evening is still young.

[Rebel Scum]

I don't think I bought enough wine.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Cruz not called on yet.

[Quincy.]

Fire 'em all, Carly!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Ha.Ha. That was awesome. Bush, Casino and Trump's reaction.

[commodious spittoon]

These debates are completely uninformative. You know who does political debates well? The Brits. Free-form roundtable discussions, a prompter rather than a moderator, taking questions directly from the audience.

[Brochettaward]

The Brits do a good job there. There a few things we can learn from them. Making the president come down to Congress and get badgered by the opposition would be brilliant to see.

[commodious spittoon]

Absolutely. Replace the SotU with national hectoring.

[Rebel Scum]

Donald Trump 2016: On the Other Side

[commodious spittoon]

LOL RIGHT HOOK OUTTA NOWHERE

[PH2050]

LOL Trump with the "low energy" burn.

[PH2050]

He's like a douchebag high school jock. I predict his numbers start falling.

[Crusty Juggler]

Stop being optimistic! It is a trap!

[Tonio]

This is Trump's last hurrah. He's up against people with actual experience in governance.

[Atanarjuat]

Agreed. And he sounds flustered and juvenile.

[Tonio]

Oh, poor Ben Carson. Mr. Deeds goes to Washington.

[Rich]

Maybe Trump will look into Vlad's soul.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Neither one of em have a soul, so NO

[SIV]

Carson just fired one hell of a shot at Jeb!, Rubio and Kasich. The Billionaire bootlicker trio.

[PH2050]

I'm no fan of Carson but thought that was a great line.

[Crusty Juggler]

Poll time: which mouthy broad is bleeding out of her wherever?

[SIV]

Carly hasn't since the last century.

[Tonio]

Damn.

[commodious spittoon]

You know who else ran on restoring America to international respectability...?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Wait, WHAT, the answer to that is not Hitler!

That's not how you play!

Is the answer Barack Obama?

[Tonio]

OMG, even Graham has more cred on ISIS than DT.

[Quincy.]

Putin will respect Trump's hair.

[Tonio]

Of course you'd get along well with Putin, Donald, of course you will.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rubio - Russia is trying to kill ISIS. STOP THEM!

[commodious spittoon]

What about indomitable hegemon don't you understand!?

[Tonio]

Dammit, Weiss, I said it first.

[commodious spittoon]

Apparently it's time to reignite the Cold War.

[Atanarjuat]

Fuck yeah, let's flex our muscles in Russia's backyard!

[Brochettaward]

It sells to most people. Most Republican voters couldn't point out the Balkans out on a map, but holding military exercises there? All for it.

[Hyperion]

Most voters in the USA couldn't point out the USA on a world map.

[commodious spittoon]

Just point at a globe. It's all ours, bitches.

[Atanarjuat]

Backing Putin into a corner kind of seems like a bad idea, but I'm no expert.

[Derpetologist]

I thought she said Baltics?

[Atanarjuat]

Yeah, that's what I thought I heard, too.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

She went hard into that,eh?

[Atanarjuat]

Maybe just to show us Neanderthsls that a female president can be tough.

[Hyperion]

Ok, how did Carly, just moving up from the lower slot to getting more time than anyone except for the Donald?

This debate is a joke.

[commodious spittoon]

Apparently Kurds is a huge applause line.

Nobody wants to mention Israel.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The Kurds have earned the right to get America's support. They're bad ass.

[Atanarjuat]

Yeah.

[Cytotoxic]

This.

[Tonio]

Yeah, pretty sad that even the second string didn't do that. Why, it's almost like this is a debate on US politics conducted by Americans.

[SIV]

The American Right loves the Kurds. The politicians they elect stab the Kurds in the back to appease NATO-partner Turkey.

[Tonio]

Oh, yeah, taking on the world court in a US court is *exactly like* being POTUS.

[commodious spittoon]

Please let's see candidates one-up each other on what they'd do to a physical copy of the Iranian nuclear deal.

[PH2050]

I'LL PISS ON IT AND SHIT ON IT VOTE FOR ME

[Crusty Juggler]

"He wipes his ass with the record contract! I love this guy"

[Slammer]

Christie: "I'd shred that deal like parmesan cheese all over meatballs with pasta and homemade gravy"

[gaijin]

I'm not talking to you..nananana

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rand Paul making sense.

too bad the GOP voter won't know it

[SIV]

Rand shows signs of life.

[Rebel Scum]

You can't fool me with your sensible logic, Mr. Paul!

[commodious spittoon]

Paul, a third of the ostensible Republican base is voting for irrational.

[Brochettaward]

Was any Republican talking about going after China until Trump started with his ridiculous comments? Now China is suddenly a geopolitical enemy and we shouldn't talk to them or some shit...offend their leaders. Lets just ratchet up tension because China did what America is doing all over the world. Brilliant shit, Walker.

[Hyperion]

So, we're going to cut off all diplomacy with Russia and China? Yeah, right, you idiots. Rand is the only one talking common sense here.

[PH2050]

HYP IM GONNA PISS ON EM AND SHIT ON EM, THEYLL RESPECT US

[Hyperion]

Oh, ok. Well, I'm looking forward to a new cold war, it's been too long.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Oh look at Rand Paul being all rational and shit.

[Atanarjuat]

Yeah, he comes off as cool and the only guy who knows what the fuck he's talking about. But I don't know how well that sells with the America, Fuck Yeah crowd.

[commodious spittoon]

But seriously, folks, let's address the important issues of our time: Obama has dinner plans with a foreign dignitary. Discuss.

[PH2050]

ISRAEL, DRINK

[commodious spittoon]

Someone popped the I-cherry!

[Brochettaward]

Holy fuck...the entire West is at stake if Iran gets nukes, people. This shit is the intellectual standard of American politics.

[Cytotoxic]

Well, things will certainly get worse for victims of Iran-sponsored terror.

[Brochettaward]

There's some middle ground there, I'd say. Western society isn't going anywhere because Iran gets nukes.

[Brochettaward]

It's ludicrous, and even a Canadian chickenhawk such as yourself knows it.

[Hyperion]

Well, if they actually did decide to use a nuke, they have to be fully aware that they are totally fucked. And if they don't know it, well, lessons get learned. Still no effect on Western civilization in the long run.

[Hyperion]

Well, you would think that the Norks having a nuke would be of more concern, but that doesn't seem to be an issue.

[Derpetologist]

fun fact: in Hebrew, Israel means either "god rules" or "god is victorious".

[Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper]

Late, but it means "struggles with God" or "prevails with God", and was given to Jacob after he wrestled with either an angel or God, depending on the translation.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Huckster plays the Israel card with drama for the Fundie nuts

[Quincy.]

Is Arkansas part of Western Civilization?

[Rebel Scum]

Mike Huckabee 2016: For the Essence

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The Iranians won't comply.

Get real.

[Tonio]

Commodious, someone mentioned Israel. You happy, bro?

[commodious spittoon]

It's like a fart in an elevator, nobody wants to bring it up.

[Tonio]

You for real, Bro?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

OooH the Iranians just won the shit on the treaty competition.

Ayatollah Shmuckatellah for president!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I think Rubio wants to carpetbomb the Middle East.

[commodious spittoon]

Is he allowed to say prick on national TV? Twice?!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

If anyone watched CNN, he'd probably catch some grief

[Cytotoxic]

Ed Krayewski is an idiot. No Ed, the guy who is largely responsible for murdering hundreds of airline passengers is not someone we can productively engage. Doesn't mean we should fight him, but I doubt you understand that distinction.

[Quincy.]

Nuke Syria in 2011: no refugee crisis, easy peasy.

[Crusty Juggler]

Involving thousands of US troops would have solved everything. And equipment, lots of equipment. It worked in 'Nam, it worked in Afghanistan, it worked in Iraq, and it will work in Syria.

[commodious spittoon]

We have the greatest fighting force in the history of this planet, but do we have the strength of penis to use it?

[Quincy.]

You're just in the pocket of Big Logistics.

[Hyperion]

My God, Rand just had the best line of the night and almost no applause. The American public is full of morons and fools.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Oops. Misposted this above.

The Iranians won't comply.

Get real.

[Brochettaward]

Cruz - if you need a top man to protect you, vote for me.

The moderators have no control over any of this.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Ted Lindy Graham-Cruz - well done.

[Brochettaward]

He's going to skyrocket in the polls after this. He's that sneaky little shit. Cruz is very smart, and he still says dumb shit. He knows perfectly how to pander. Every statement he gives is fraudulent. He's an actor.

[Cytotoxic]

No he's not. I have lots of issues with Cruz but you have Cruz-derangement syndrome.

[Brochettaward]

You think his hawk bullshit is awesome. Cruz is a fraud. His mannerisms are even fake.

[Hyperion]

For once you said something I agree with you moronic piece of crap. Now go lick Hillary's cankles. Lick em, butt head!

[Rhywun]

Cruz: "Bam! To the moon, Alice!"

[Tonio]

Don't know whether it's the drunk, or that (hyphen) just tweeted something with which I agree, but I feel queasy.

[PH2050]

Do I need to get on the Tweeterbook? I feel like I'm missing out.

[commodious spittoon]

It's not about turns, Carly. It's about shouting down this milquetoast moderator. Threaten to give him a swirly.

[Crusty Juggler]

Or a Texas chilli bowl.

[Hayeksplosives]

Yup. I for one would like to hear more from her.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

This is a tremendous clusterfuck.

[PH2050]

I thought chaos came from anarchy, not candidate debates?!

[Ken Shultz]

What'd you expect?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

We should take off our clothes and talk about this further.

[SIV]

Ted Cruz needs acampaign theme song

[Hyperion]

Cruz is trying to get into the Lindsey Graham fan club.

[Rich]

Kim Davis!

[Tonio]

Dammit.

[Agile Cyborg]

this shit is not vertically challenged...

[Crusty Juggler]

Of course you have the comment of the night.

[Tonio]

Kim Davis!!1!

[Rhywun]

Oh god no

[Crusty Juggler]

IS SHE SINGLE YET OMG

[PH2050]

CJ will be lucky #5! 🙂

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

CJ will be lucky #5! 🙂

[Palin's Buttplug]

Great - a gay kissing question for the Huckster. He should dunk this one

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Well, he is the best kisser on the dais.

[Cytotoxic]

"The Ayatollah chants "Death to America" in the same political fashion as we listen to Kate Smith."

WTF does this even mean? Did Kate Smith murder people? Why does the Reason Tweet feed have idiots in it?

[kevrob]

Kate Smith helped the Broad Street Bullies. That's crime enough.

Kevin R

(Can't stand Gawd Bless `Murica, nor A the Bootyful.
Keep your damnable deities in hymns and out of
patriotic music.)

[commodious spittoon]

Carly backs down. Bad move, Carly.

[Palin's Buttplug]

She peaked at the Kid's Table

[Agile Cyborg]

Establishment fucks, male or female, listen to their collegiate hired dumbasses and if you want to win the fucking flag of greatest human being in America you need to break arms on your team brain when they suck like that BBQ sauce that Kentucky Fried Chicken sells.

[Cytotoxic]

"the only inspections iran is doing itself is ones of past activity" -Ed

That's a lie.

[Agile Cyborg]

Huckabee is pretending to be awesome, bitches.

[Rebel Scum]

Fake it 'til you make it.

[Tony]

Who invited the realists? Paul and Kasich are messing with the bloviating fantasy vibe.

[Ken Shultz]

We should try to remember that Rand Paul also has a long term plan. There'll be another election five and nine years from now, and I'd expect Rand Paul to be running in those, too.

His father ran more than once, too. Ronald Reagan ran more than once. Rand Paul isn't going anywhere. He should probably run for governor in Kentucky if and when he can.

[Brochettaward]

Yea, but I'm skeptical there will be any point more favorable to Paul than now. That he's still polling so low is alarming.

[Cytotoxic]

Actually, I could see an America that is bankrupt and a GOP that has been horse-whipped by the electorate for anti-immigrant stupidity as more receptive to Paul than now, especially if Paul gets that exec experience.

[Brochettaward]

Republicans aren't going to lose because of an anti-immigrant stance.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

He'll be Senator for another six years. He's 53, so he'll either be 57 or 61 at his next opportunity, not too old at all.

[Hyperion]

Yeah, and it's an absolute guarantee that our government is going to create a few million more libertarians in that time.

[Brochettaward]

If a Republican wins in 2016, no they won't. Most voters who could be brought over are from the right already. Team mentality says that just like under Bush, the bulk of Republicans will just rally around the stupid policies of the 2016 Republican. It would also mean Paul needs to wait 8 years.

Another Dem, maybe.

[Cytotoxic]

That long-term plan better include firing Benton.

[lap83]

"He should probably run for governor in Kentucky if and when he can."

I agree. Get some executive experience.

[commodious spittoon]

Is Carson moving? Is that a cardboard cutout?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Huckabee is passionate. I'll give him that.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Lord resides within him (which is why he has to eat for two).

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

You know who else was passionate?

[lap83]

Jesus?

[gaijin]

Rachel McAdams?

[Quincy.]

KIM DAVIS NEEDS GUNS!

[gaijin]

The Passion of the Huckster

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

They seem to be letting Huckabee talk way over on the Kim Davis answer.

[Tonio]

It's the only thing he has. Like Graham with ISIS.

[Rhywun]

There WAS accommodation and she denied it!

[Crusty Juggler]

Get your facts out of here!

[Tonio]

OMG, he just conflated Kim Davis with Islamist Terrorists. Not even Eddie is that deranged. (You know who, on the other hand...)

[Cytotoxic]

Who?!?!

[SusanM]

Hitler?

[Tonio]

Oops, that didn't come out right.

[Atanarjuat]

Katherine Mangu-Ward@kmanguward
Hells yeah. We are the GREATEST Satan. U-S-A! U-S-A!

[Quincy.]

Fuck yeah!

[Rebel Scum]

'MURICA?!?!?!

[Rhywun]

Oh Jesus PP again

[Tonio]

He said "PP." [giggles]

[SIV]

Kasich: "HANDS OFF MUH MEDIKAIDE!!1!"

[commodious spittoon]

"taking all our Medicaid money away"

Did you just...

[SIV]

There's worse people on that stage than Trump.

[Crusty Juggler]

Welch is such a baseball nerd.

[Derpetologist]

Cruz keeps mispronouncing Khamenei as "Kah may nee". He ought to say "kha meh nay".

Huckabee reiterated a point I made:

At Guantanamo, the cells have lines painted on the floor so the prisoners know which when to face when praying. They also give them korans, prayer rugs, halal meals, and time to meet with Muslim chaplains.

If suspected terrorists deserve that much respect for their religion...

link

[Cytotoxic]

Kuh-may-ha-may-ha!

[lap83]

So you're trying to give your point credence by comparing yourself to Huckabee? Interesting choice.... (Kidding. I think it's a good point)

[Derpetologist]

Ugh, I agreed with Huckabee. I feel so dirty...

Unclean! Unclean!

[Rich]

Defund Planned Parenthood. Defund the Department of Education. Defund ?.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Ted CRUISE!

[commodious spittoon]

Endless failure theater, courtesy of the GOP.

[Agile Cyborg]

Kasich is a squeamish OK but like most governors his inaction on civil rights and citizen privacy is a fucking nuclear bomb cock jammed into the asshole of the constitution. Kasich can suck my Ohio cock.

[Rich]

Good evening, A C!

[Agile Cyborg]

Richness event! THE THREAD IS LIKE DUCK FAT NOW!!!!

[commodious spittoon]

Kasich knows his base well: constitutionality is nothin' but a word, baby.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Christie trying to get some fat around the Planned Parenthood mega-issue

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I defunded Planned Parenthood.

/Bites hot dog.

[PH2050]

I'LL PISS AND SHIT ON PLANNED PARENTHOOD VOTE FOR ME

[Rhywun]

Aw Christie's flag pin looks like NJ - cute

[Rich]

Oh, I thought it was a peanut.

[Crusty Juggler]

It is a lamb chop.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

NEW JERSEY IS NOT SHAPED LIKE A PEANUT OR LAMB CHOP.

More like an extended pinky when drinking tea.

[Tonio]

Um, Governor, Planned Parenthood is still funded in NJ. Just not by government.

[Hyperion]

No, Fatfuck, we don't agree on anything. Go to hell. Oh, that's right, you're already in Jersey.

[Quincy.]

Selling fetal organs is a felony?

*tips over ice chest into sewer grate*

[Quincy.]

Shit, Carly just told me I'm evil.

[commodious spittoon]

Nearly everyone on that stage has been slimy, but Christie discussing abortion is so disingenuous I feel like taking a shower.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

HILLARY WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOUR BABIES IN THE WOMB.

[commodious spittoon]

Christie's out-trumping Trump.

[Tonio]

Yes, money is fungible.

[Tonio]

Who is Daniel McCarthy, and who is responsible for taking him back to the "home" after this is over/

[Crusty Juggler]

Scott Shackford
?@SShackford

I can't really say anybody on stage is doing poorly, even if I don't agree with them (well, except Ben Carzzzon).

[Atanarjuat]

There ya go. Fiorina mentioned Israel.

[gaijin]

Do Islamists in Iran support abortion?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Wo. Carly won some hearts there.

[Rich]

Biggest applause so far.

[Tonio]

What you did there...am I indeed seeing it?

[Agile Cyborg]

Horrible New Jersey fuckhole is speaking. Can we all agree with pushing that horrible hellhole of New Jersey massive retardation into the ocean. I dreamt once that a huge cosmic storm of alien lasers erased that state off the fucking union.

[Rhywun]

Um... no?

[Paul.]

Please?

[Rhywun]

Some of us have to work there.

[Paul.]

But imagine it after all the improvements!

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Says the guy living North-North California.

[commodious spittoon]

Longest applause of the evening?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Just tuning in, what's that lame-o airplane behind them? That's not my presidential plane.

[Rich]

You paid for it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They saw me coming.

[gaijin]

ewwww!

[Quincy.]

It's the Vomit Comet, winner gets to take a ride playing with cats in zero-G.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

I want the one that carried our greatest president, Harrison Ford.

[Crusty Juggler]

I want the one that carried our greatest president, Harrison Ford David Haysbert.

[Crusty Juggler]

oh boo! blame beer! blame Bush

[Slammer]

Graham: "ISIL ISIL ISIL"

Trump: " I I I I I ME ME ME I I I I"

Christie: "JOISEY"

[Crusty Juggler]

Can we finally win this war on drugs, yalls?

[commodious spittoon]

CJ bringing up the important issues.

[Paul.]

Avoid the #GOPDebate using this one weird trick.

[lap83]

I figured it out, despite my doctor not wanting me to know

[Carl, Fighter of the Nightman]

That Planned Parenthood answer alone will bump Fiorina up at least half a point.

[Cytotoxic]

I'm not watching. What did she say.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Standard conservative appeal to the childrens

[Rufus J. Firefly]

TRUMP WILL TAKE CARE OF WOMEN.

There's your slogan.

[Rhywun]

Jeb's dopey grin is really annoying me.

[Palin's Buttplug]

He's the smart one.

[Fist of Etiquette]

North Career has nuclear weapons?

[Rich]

Don't make a Korea out of developing nukes.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

To the corner. Both of you.

[Agile Cyborg]

Goddamn, Jeb is uncomfortable next to that horrible billionaire.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Totally.

[commodious spittoon]

They're siccing Trump on other candidates. That's literally all this is.

[Paul.]

Owner of motel chain dominates debate.

[Hyperion]

Jeb, fuck you, you statist scum. Fuck you double hard.

[Rich]

Argh! The face!

[Rich]

And Carly triumphs again!

[Agile Cyborg]

I really have a fucking problem with women not having a safe haven to find a space to end their pregnancies... Planned parenthood is run by idiots but abortion isn't going away...

[Agile Cyborg]

I really have a fucking problem with women not having a safe haven to find a space to end their pregnancies... Planned parenthood is run by idiots but abortion isn't going away...

[Crusty Juggler]

If it becomes illegal it will be done in an Arby's bathroom by amateurs who read how to do the procedure online, so there is that.

[kevrob]

Easy Peasy.

1.) Insert tube of Horsey sauce.

2.) Squeeze.

3.) You have the meats.

Kevin R

[Cytotoxic]

"Trump says we have to worry about North Korea too, but, like, we don't. We clearly don't." -Soave

This is your brain on peacenazism.

[SIV]

The Reason staff can't decide whether they're cosmotarians, progs or RINOs.

[Rebel Scum]

You're actually reading their tweats? That's SO passe.

[Rebel Scum]

Kim the younger is protecting his position by ginning up nationalistic support from his people. He IS stupid, but I doubt he is stupid enough to attack a country that could wipe his own country off of the map.

[Cytotoxic]

That's a lot of hope being projected as fact right there.

[Rebel Scum]

The US gov't does the same thing. All governments do. It is one way they ensure their own relevance. Fabricate an enemy that the government must keep people "safe" from.

[Atanarjuat]

Wow, the facelift looks fine until you laugh.

[Fist of Etiquette]

She nailed that.

[Paul.]

Go on...

[Fist of Etiquette]

DON'T BE CRASS. Don't sully the sanctity of a debate thread.

[Hyperion]

Uh oh, Carly just ripped off Trumpies ball sack.

[Agile Cyborg]

I just watched that shit- she politely flicked Trumps ball sack.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Carly FTW

Trump just got a swift kick

[lap83]

dammit, you guys are making me regret not watching this

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Carly is winning the biggest applause - two so far.

Trump gives a compliment; Carly unimpressed.

Carly is making the biggest impact.

[Cytotoxic]

She's a weapon.

[Paul.]

iCarly?

[kevrob]

Summer from School of Rock would make a great Chief of Staff.

She'd take no prisoners.

Kevin R

[Hyperion]

Rand is actually winning the debate. But Murikans need to be entertained. Thinking hard... hurt head....

[Cytotoxic]

If Rand staged a comeback, that would actually be better than if he had maintained his earlier support. Durability is good.

[Agile Cyborg]

I am one of these rare dudes who likes Fiorina's face and Trump agrees... so.... that just rolled out like a fucking condom flicked off a soft cock after fucking some super babe vagina.. that's all I have...

[Hyperion]

Well, that mean and sassy look is sort of ok. But I need her to turn around. I'm afraid she's got a white girl ass. Then I can't be impressed with her face more. No booty, no way.

[PH2050]

Spoken like someone who's spoiled by Brasilian badonkadonk 😉

[Hyperion]

As someone asked earlier, where's the fembots? Their hubbies not allowing them on the intertoobz tonight?

[Tonio]

Stiletto, Welch, stiletto. Italian, and all. Also, stilettos designed as a stabbing weapon; machete an agricultural tool for chopping. HTH.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Machete is the greatest action hero of this century!

[Atanarjuat]

This debate brought to you by toe fungus poison. Seems appropriate.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, Christie is in this?

[looks at program]

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

He likes his baggles.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Streets ahead.

[Tonio]

"A lot of bad dudes."

[Hyperion]

Oh, The Donald is gonna build that wall.

[Tonio]

(hyphen) just went incoherent.

[Agile Cyborg]

"We have a country based on laws and if my casinos fail all the laws offer me tons of fucking protection, bitches", Trump Sir.

[Rich]

Kick 'em out with heart!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The Dolnald: No fucking details

[Palin's Buttplug]

Christie looking at Trump like a side of ribs.

[Tonio]

CCW Cooke, FTW!

[Quincy.]

The Chinese built a Pretty Good Wall, we could import some of them as consultants.

[Atanarjuat]

Hey, at least that one brings in a bunch of tourists.

[Atanarjuat]

More than a wall! That's the problem with America today, not police statey enough.

[Agile Cyborg]

Christie spent seven years as an attorney and he's proud of fucking American families up the asshole street.... Being an American attorney is fucking exactly why that weird shitty Chris is horrible in the eyes of dead America loving founding fathers.

[Tonio]

Christie isn't the only one with a "tic," fisher. #STOPTHEANNOYINGTYPINGSOUNDS

[Palin's Buttplug]

Carson can stay #2 by not talking.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Hey, Carson is still there!

[Agile Cyborg]

Carson I would love if he was actually stoned which he sounds like but he want's to shoot stoners in the head and sell their little limbs to all sorts of online shops/.

[Tonio]

"The enforcement people." Yeah, not knowing the name of the border patrol is sooo presidential.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

You need a wall, a fence, wooden stakes, hockey sticks, steel, plastic. PLASTIC WALLS!

[Agile Cyborg]

I actually enjoy the cock of the enemy fucking my acquaintance.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Sun-Tzu?

[Rich]

"'Know' your enemy."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Christie just went full blown creepy.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Just now? You haven't been watching long enough.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Bush saying we should elect his wife?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I heard something else.

Then again I'm eating cereal.

[De Oppresso Liber]

She is a Bush, they are all equally electable.

[Hyperion]

He's a bloviating bag of hot air, he's not saying anything. Him and Trump are not saying anything together.

[Hyperion]

So, Jeb's wife is an illegal immigrant?

[Tonio]

Trump is in full retreat.

[SIV]

Senora Bush thinks taxes are for the campesinos.

[Quincy.]

Jeb's wife has threesome with him and 'Murica

[Agile Cyborg]

Jeb Bush you should just stop acting like a fucking horrible needle in the arm and fucking retire like your bathtub painting dummy brother. I HATE BUSH worse than that fucking horrible government raping business fuck called that slanted strange Trump.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

I just got home and I haven't seen any part of the debate, nor have I had a chance to read the recaps. But I took a quick look at the google news aggregation, and every headline pertaining to it mentions Trump.

Based on the proposition that there's no such thing as bad publicity, I'd say Trump won.

[lap83]

The headline I saw on the CNN streaming page was about Carly

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Yeah, it says, "Carly Fiorina: "Women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said" about her face. Watch live." Followed by about 15 other headlines that all mention Trump.

[commodious spittoon]

Had to jump up. We're back on immigration?

[Agile Cyborg]

I don't understand what CNN is doing to my face. I hate the two fucks facing my face. Trump and Bush? I fucking hate CNN for this.

[PH2050]

Do like I'm doing, hit the bowl a few extra times

[Agile Cyborg]

Been hittin' the bowl all night babe P.... Prob is I'm mixing this shit with Jack... and maybe a fucking pill or two

[Rich]

It should be required to speak Pig Latin on the campaign trail.

[commodious spittoon]

"I want to tell you a story..." Let me stop you right there.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

APOLOGIZE TO MY WIFE.

He should go with that for the rest of the night.

[Hyperion]

The Donald said no.

[Hyperion]

I agree with Trump about speaking English.

Shut up Bush, you moron.

[Calidissident]

Not watching the debate, but how exactly did the exchange go to prompt you to say that? I say that because Trump has gone well beyond encouraging English to retweeting idiots saying things like "No one cares that Jeb Bush speaks Mexican, this is America, speak English" or condemning Bush for simply speaking Spanish in the US. Which is pretty idiotic, so I'm curious what exactly was said this time.

[Hyperion]

He was just saying that if you want to immigrate and live in America, that you should learn English. Only that. I agree with him. What the hell type of asshole expects to move and live in another country and not learn the language, expecting the country to just cater to their special needs? Fuck that shit.

[Calidissident]

I don't disagree with that alone, but Trump's made the kind of over the top comments I mention that indicate he's arguing for a lot more than that. In my experience, few people just come here and make no attempt to learn English because they feel entitled to have everyone cater to them. But it takes time to learn a second language, and it's difficult as an adult, especially if you're already busy with everything else going on. And in a lot of places, you can get by (though not necessarily thrive) without speaking English, although I obviously think it's good for the immigrant and society if they do learn it.

[kevrob]

Cierra la boca, idiota!

Kevin R

Not actually bilingual

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rubio waxing nostalgic. Plus Reagan.

GOP Points

[Agile Cyborg]

I bet Rubio has never been drunk. We know that fucking steel rod neck Trump has never done a single fucking drug, beer, wine, or he has fucked maybe 4 times in his entire lifetime.

[SIV]

Matt Welch
@MattWelch
"1) he is not handsome, 2) he has bad ideas" -- my 7-year-old, on the GOP frontrunner.

She'll soon be singing in an unofficial youtube campaign video for...?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

She's gunning for Matt's job.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

SPEAK WHITE!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Punk kid. I would have told the kid to speak white.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm certain a new federal bureaucracy responsible for tracking down and assessing eleven million undocumented people would work out well.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Rubio...here we go.

The family portrait.

[PH2050]

FFS am I the only one disgusted by all the "respond to what Trump said" questions? This is juvenile shit. Maybe I need to drink moar

Cruz has this weird way of talking to the camera like he's channeling Rod Sterling but isn't nearly as cool

[SusanM]

Was just about to say the same thing. It's like Trump is the the one setting the GOP agenda.

[Derpetologist]

So now I'm imagining Cruz smoking a Chesterfiled while giving a monologue:

You're traveling into an area that's adjacent to a region that's beside a location. The sort of place that might contain a weird mirror or some kind of monster. These are just some examples. It could also be something good. At the signpost up ahead, your next stop, The Trumplight Zone!

Hey, who wrote that on my cue cards?

[PH2050]

Exactly! Haha.

Are you going to keep your blog going during your enlistment? I'm looking forward to it.

[Derpetologist]

While I am in boot camp, I will send letters to Almanian via snail mail. If he doesn't post anything about me, either the letters got lost in the mail, or he's being a lazy bastard.

Once I get to language school in CA, I will blog and post when I can. If you would like to be my pen pal too, send me an email. Click my handle to see my real name and send an email with your snail mail address to [e-mail]

Anyone else who wants to be my pen pal can do likewise. I look forward to getting letters at mail call.

[PH2050]

Roger. It really does feel good to get those letters, even when you're slightly older and not enlisting straight out of high school.

Just don't expect the same quality pictures that my girlfriend sent me 😉

[Hyperion]

Is Carson just a really distinguished gentleman, or is he on Opium? I mean, I'm just asking.

[Tonio]

His experience in public speaking is (presumably) presentations for other MDs. Totally unused to the give and take of politics.

[Hyperion]

Well, they hated him at Hopkins from what I hear, he won't tow the lefty lion.

[PH2050]

Haha, awesome. But why did you capitalize opium, stop othering the other drugs you cishet shitlord

[Rhywun]

Don't harsh his mellow, dude.

[SusanM]

He sounds like a mentally challenged black guy I used to know.

[lap83]

I kind of like it. I want a president who accomplishes very little while in office

[Tonio]

"Thank you, Senator."

[Agile Cyborg]

I could operate on Carson's brain. If the world ended and we had a coupla of humans on this deserted island and suck... and Carson was stabbed by an illegal in the head... I, agile cyborg, could cut open Carsons brain with all sorts of super cleanage macjhinations and Carson would live with a healthy pile of Agile Cyborg cum deposited at the base of his brain... It's all good. Carson would go on to save babies and make an ebony vagina happy.. all good.

[SIV]

Reason editors are getting all anti-Cuban racist.

[De Oppresso Liber]

Ok, I'm out. That's as much as I could take.

[Palin's Buttplug]

One of the candidates should do that after an applause line.

George Costanza style. Holding arms up.

[lap83]

ok, that would be pretty funny

[Hyperion]

Rand has had the least speaking time now. Him and Walker I think. But I think Rand is the orphan child of the debate.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Rand Paul hasn't said anything in 37 minutes. Hope he's due.

[Mongo]

Fiorina looks a bit waxy but not too bad.
Oh wait, that's Ted Cruz.

[commodious spittoon]

*standing ovation*

[Tonio]

Sure it's not Lenin's corpse?

[Rich]

Anchor babies!

[Tonio]

Carson needs to increase his words-per-minute rate by at least 1/3. He's booooorrrrrriiiiing.

[Agile Cyborg]

Rubio is mashing my face with his words like an app... I think they used an app on Rubio... the boy spoke like a train of code... I think MIT was using super speech shit on him and I'm not sure my cock became erect, Rubio. No, it did not.

[Quincy.]

Rubio: I'm more immigrant than you, you sleazy half-breed frostback.

[Notorious UGCC]

People base their votes on watching this stuff?

[Tonio]

Hi, hon. Did you have a nice evening at the K of C lodge?

[Notorious UGCC]

Sure.

Now, I'm technically sworn to secrecy about what we decided, but let's just say that it involves albino monks.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

People don't watch this!

[lap83]

the comments?

[Hyperion]

Oh, I'm guessing that most people don't base their vote on anything except for identity politics. Watching this would be too hard, Dancing with the Stars in on and my little snowflake has soccer practice in the morning. Let alone actually doing research and vetting candidates. Less than 1% of voters probably do this.

[commodious spittoon]

Goddamnit, enough of this bullshit she-said he-said bollocks! Ask him a straight goddamn question so he can stumble through his answer!

[Crusty Juggler]

Commodious, can you respond to Crusty's comment about you being a silly goose, from sillytown? Are you a silly goose, sir?

[SIV]

Repeal the welfare state, not the 14th Amendment.

[Rich]

Crazy talk!

[commodious spittoon]

Fiorina's ascendant.

[Atanarjuat]

"With all due respect, Mr. Trump..."

Why they treat that numbnut as an equal, I don't know.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm tuning in and out. Does Trump get to chime in on every question?

[Rich]

Pretty much.

[SIV]

OK Rand loses me.

[Rich]

Rand Paul mentions slavery!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Pro or con?

[Rich]

Well, to be fair, it was in the context of the 14A. Neutral, I suppose.

[SIV]

Rand thinks 14A only applies to dead Black people, fuck him.

[Hyperion]

That's not what he was saying.

[Agile Cyborg]

I saw Rand Paul's arm when he swung around to face the camera and then I saw Trump...

[Agile Cyborg]

Trump is a CNN product.

[Mongo]

Straight outta Spy magazine.

[PapayaSF]

Too bad Trump is around and Spy is not. They were hilarious in their day. A few years ago I sold a bunch of back issues to someone in Australia, for more than I paid for them.

[Quincy.]

Yay. Paul arguing technicaties!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

On second thought, I wish Rand hadn't said anything on immigration.

[Calidissident]

What did he say?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

He effectively said that the 14th probably doesn't grant birthright citizenship to illegal immigrants.

[SIV]

That's more than just disappointing.

[Calidissident]

Well that's just wrong. So he doesn't think an amendment is necessary, just a regular change in law going forward? Or is he going full Trump and arguing that under current law they aren't citizens and that it's only due to misinterpretation that they've been given it?

[PapayaSF]

I'm not sure he's wrong. Besides, the 14th has been proven to be extremely flexible, so who says it can't flex that way?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

On second thought, I wish Rand hadn't said anything on immigration

/FTFY

[Derpetologist]

Rand did Trump a favor. But Rand does know the Constitution well.

[Hyperion]

Rand's assuming that his audience are not public educated retards.

[Calidissident]

I'm sure he does, but he's not in the right in this case.

[SIV]

Nick has been tweeting furiously in defense of Planned Parenthood all night. He must own stock in mutilated baby organ companies.

[Hyperion]

Well, I guess he's not voting for any of these TeathugiKKKans.

[SIV]

He dissed his governor so that leaves Jeb! or Bernie Sanders

[lap83]

the split screen between Carly speaking and Trump smirking smugly...why?

[Crusty Juggler]

Drama duh.

[Slammer]

CNN: FYTW

[commodious spittoon]

Bankruptcy expert Donald Trump calls out Fiorina's business acumen.

[Hyperion]

Rand is too smart for Americans. They can't even understand what he's saying. They want a political reality TV show where the loudest screecher wins.

Whu... 14th amendment, durrrr, what that, what amendment? Honey, change TV, America Loves Talent on! That new girl, I like her, she sangs good!

[Agile Cyborg]

Someone hit Christie in the head with a brick.

[Hyperion]

It would just bounce off and give him the munchies.

[Agile Cyborg]

well, shit...

[commodious spittoon]

You're an idiot, Christie. Economic populism is not a game you can win against Democrats.

[Tonio]

Unless you're up against someone like Sanders who scares the fuck out of anyone who has anything that could be confiscated or taxed.

[Tonio]

Uh...we don't want to hear about your career, either, fatboy.

[Crusty Juggler]

Someone get Vincent Adultman out there to talk about business.

[Quincy.]

I went to the stock market and did a business

[Rufus J. Firefly]

CARLY CALLS OUT TRUMP'S CRONYISM!

[Rebel Scum]

And the Trumpster.

[Fist of Etiquette]

New Jersey Democrat Chris Christie opened himself up to attack when he talks about how many 9/11 families he hugged.

[Carl, Fighter of the Nightman]

Chris Christie gets rousing applause by chastising Trump and Fiorina for answering Tapper's question.

[Agile Cyborg]

Chris Christie a demon suckhole... like the entirety of that fucking horrible shithole called the state he manages....

[Rufus J. Firefly]

She responds well though.

[commodious spittoon]

Except you would probably want to discuss landing planes with the guy who insists he can.

[Tonio]

Dammit, Suderman. Yes, I just opened a fresh bottle. Pray for my liver, lads.

(Eddie, honey, I'm sleeping in my study tonight. You know how I get.)

[Notorious UGCC]

Before you go to sleep, be sure to boil me a potato. You know, to remind me of the old country.

[Fist of Etiquette]

So now we're vying to see who can tax the most?

[Agile Cyborg]

They are vying for the American dream with humongous bombs, tithing, super special government secret ideas, and arguments that are convoluted authoritarian paths....

And the government of these super government people is supposed to get outta the way...

is Rand Paul on this place? I think I saw his tie once.

[Rich]

Huckabee: Tax consumption!

[Notorious UGCC]

I'm only getting the debate second-hand by glancing at your and Reason's comments...sorry, guys, I don't have any brain cells to spare, I can't afford to kill off any more or I'll become a Republican myself.

Bye.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm really looking forward to Huckabee's getting dropped from the next debate.

[sasob]

Or Santorum.

[SIV]

Huckabee and GayJay agree: Americans consume too many goods and services.

[lap83]

They're all so great, I can't decide!!!11

[Crusty Juggler]

Pick the alpha male...wait, don't do that.

[Tonio]

Wow, you just had to conflate flat tax with tithing. That's below even me.

[commodious spittoon]

Rich people pay the same taxes as poor people? Way to beg the fucking question, Tapper.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The flat tax will require H&R Block involvement?

[SIV]

Americans are innumerate

[lap83]

"who has to hire H&R block because it's so complicated......"

Hence simplifying it with a flat tax you moron

[commodious spittoon]

Crusty, I am the silliest goose who ever goosestepped into Sillytown.

And that's when I'm sober.

[Tony]

A flat tax made America a great nation.

[Quincy.]

Damn straight, hater.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

A flat tax of 0.0% made America great!

[Hyperion]

Yes, we know you want money that other people worked for because you're lazy and have no skills because of it. Shut up, Tony, Burger King is hiring. Get some skin in the game.

[Tony]

The American dream is to make as much money as possible working as little as possible. As any sweaty underpaid burger flipper will know.

[Hyperion]

Well, I'm glad you've finally learned about capitalism, now shut up and get to flippin my burgers.

[Quincy.]

Carson is just sucking up to billionares to fund his wing of the hospital. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Carson speaks truth.

[Palin's Buttplug]

He's full of shit.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Racist.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Obamacare just came up!

WTF?

[commodious spittoon]

"How we create jobs..."

See, there's your problem right there. There's our problem all over.

[Rich]

Nice catch.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The royal we. You know, the editorial.

[Agile Cyborg]

Our boy is on for 16 words but he is like an unwanted stepchild with horrible diseases in the basement of CNN... and fuck that law enforcement ass fucker dumb fuck stupid brick called Walker... I hate Walker so much my ass wants to shit midgets.

[commodious spittoon]

Apparently Carson gets misquoted a lot.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Or he can't remember what he said.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Carson is apparently of two minds on the minimum wage. Take your pick which one you like.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Why do I want to pinch Walker's nose?

[Agile Cyborg]

Now that fucking loser Christian evangelical fuck who shits in a bible every fucking day Carson and I guess Walker now wants to suck Reagan cock and all.

[Quincy.]

Carly beckons.

*flips bangs*

[Quincy.]

Minimum wage: why not have none?

[Tonio]

Carson lacks executive demeanor.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That's true.

He'd be perfect in the doctor's office convincing you to go on Crestor though.

[SusanM]

"Never have this conversation again in the history of America."

Brain surgeon, folks...

[Palin's Buttplug]

Kasich "I'm responsible for the booming 90s!"

[Tonio]

Why the fuck is Kasich even on the first string? Veep-apparent?

[Palin's Buttplug]

BENGHAZI!

[Quincy.]

LABIA!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

PHAKE SKANDUHL!1!

[Agile Cyborg]

I live in Ohio, Kasich. You aren't even noticable, man. A fucking state governor with zero wings. A fucking dude that piles of farmers voted for and I live in farmer world and farmers are super fucking simple.. no greatness will be found in fields of beans and corn.

[BigT]

AC, I am also in OH and can't stand Kasich. Traitor who embraced Obamacare. And F'd up his Issue 5 shot at the unions. Incompetent.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm not certain what I'm more uncomfortable with, our presidential candidates sounding like walking cliches or sounding like European-style technocrats.

[commodious spittoon]

Christie going after Carly's face again. What is this obsession?

[Fist of Etiquette]

For the longest time tonight I thought they had replaced Kasich with Garry Shandling.

[SIV]

Even the intern thinks Rand Paul is a loser:

Lauren Galik
@lauren_galik
Rand Paul has been a total disappointment throughout this campaign. Who is he trying to pander to? He's lost even libertarians at this pt.

[Tonio]

Ah, the youth and their lack of filters.

[commodious spittoon]

Now there's a woman who looks like she has good angles.

[Tonio]

Oh, Fiorina mentioned the server, but only in passing. I'd love to see her unload on that.

Christie grows a pair. His best moment.

[commodious spittoon]

Is The Man in the High Castle worth reading? It's been years since I've touched Dick.

[Tonio]

Giving you a Mulligan on that, dude.

[commodious spittoon]

I stand by what I penis.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I wake up every morning touching Dick

[Crusty Juggler]

I giggled (it was masculine giggle, people).

[Derpetologist]

Netflix has a series on it:

link

[commodious spittoon]

That's why I asked. I probably won't sit for the series unless it's groundbreaking, but I would read the book if it's interesting.

[Crusty Juggler]

A book over television? You disgust me.

[SIV]

The book is great.

[kevrob]

SIV is right + a googolplex.

Kevin R

[Crusty Juggler]

Galik vaults to the front of Crusty's favorite Reason employee list - you're in the backseat now, Krainin.

[Rhywun]

Ha that was my exact same thought too

[Rhywun]

(Galik's that is)

[Crusty Juggler]

You mean she did not vault to the front of your pretend list? SMH

[Rhywun]

No - I mean I'm nearly drunk and I can't believe there's another hour of this shit.

[Rhywun]

But your idea is righteous too.

[lap83]

Why would she dump out all of that perfectly good beer?? Because there's no way she drank it.

[PH2050]

Ha, that is really awesome.

[lap83]

ahh, a label is coming off one of them...it's an old one

[Rufus J. Firefly]

OT: WTF is wrong with the Steelers being all obsessed with the Patriots?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Why should they be different than everyone else?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fucken whiners. Shut up about the headsets already. The league said it was their problem.

DO YOUR JOB and you won't lose.

[Crusty Juggler]

Don't worry Rufus, my beloved Buffalo Bills are going to dominate the Pats this weekend. I have complete faith, and I am in no way delusional.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

They certainly are confident.

Should be a good game!

[Crusty Juggler]

When a known toe-sucker has a picture of his wife's feet as his computer background, you know he is the right man to lead your team against the Evil Empire.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Just so we're clear: Not a Pats fan here.

[Crusty Juggler]

I would hope not! You seem like you are not Satan.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Satan is not a Pats fan; he's their coach.

[Tonio]

"You was giving me name after name."

[PH2050]

I'LL HAVE THE FINEST TEAM AND WE'LL PISS AND SHIT ON THE BAD GUYS

[commodious spittoon]

My shits, they're gonna be 'UUUUUGE

[Rich]

"I hope that answers your question."

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rubio hired a voice coach.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Somebody hand him some water!

[Hyperion]

Rubio final statement: WARZ!

[Rich]

Marco gets applause on foreign policy.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rubio "We keep electing morons in the Senate"

[PH2050]

Holy shit is Trump not the real life version of Vincent Adultman in this debate?

"I went to the stock market and did a business!"

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

It's always guys in places with him.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Some people choose to live pay check to pay check and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

I want the next one moderated by @nickgillespie, @KennedyNation, and @mcmoynihan. Because A) funnier, B) don't have to hear from candidates!

HIYO!!

[Tonio]

The CNN internet feed is spotty again. I'm ok with that.

[commodious spittoon]

I wonder how many of these people are taking Provigil.

[Rich]

I wonder how many are wearing Depends.

[commodious spittoon]

Hah!

[PapayaSF]

No, it's Depends at the Democratic debates....

[Rich]

BOOOSH!!

[Hyperion]

Rubio is the junior establishment wannabe guy of the GOP.

Thanks for leaving the Senate, you finally did something good for the people.

[PH2050]

Lol, too bad we can't submit a "no confidence" vote that kicks people out of office.

[PH2050]

It's "Tip of the Spear" and that only applies to the USMC, you fucking suit that wouldn't know a SAPI plate from a M240G.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

As a former Army Armor guy, I feel that I was part of a pretty fucking sharp tip!

[PH2050]

Well, then you know we have to talk shit about each other 🙂

[Agile Cyborg]

all these people are suggesting hell and I agree that hell is a possibly but my Shiba sat next to me and put his paws on my knees and we had to do an MMA mat fight. He placed his paws on my elbow and tried to arm bar me and failed so he brought his rope ninja toy into the room and I guess I'm supposed to LOSE to this horribly violent super fantastic cute macho ninja dog Shiba... yoshi tried an arm breaking dog move and he sorta took me down and fucked me slightly in the ass with his dog cock and I asked him not to do that and I think he appreciated my view and still took my arm with his dog shit and almost broke it... name a country that isn't better with doge power and soup?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Jeb "I'll bring back the Bush Doctrine"

[Quincy.]

ZOMBIE RUMSFELD!

[SusanM]

is dropping Reagans name a drink?

[PH2050]

No, too easy.

[Hyperion]

New Bush neocon war monger, same as the last Bush neocon war monger. Let's just go back 10 years, no need to try anything new.

[commodious spittoon]

You might not want to bring up your record from when you were a Democrat, Trump.

[lap83]

lol

[Agile Cyborg]

An hour later surviving a ninja doge attack and that fuck billionaire with the stupid brother is on the screen... I think our future as Americans is left to fools, man.

[Agile Cyborg]

CNN is making me hate America.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don't give CNN that power over you.

[Palin's Buttplug]

"George kept us safe!"

Except for 9/11.

what an idiot

[commodious spittoon]

That swings both ways.

[BigT]

Blaming Bush for Iraq is fine, but blaming him for 9/11 is pure partisan stupidity.

You are an ass and have always been and will always be an ass.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Don't lie and say he defended the USA against terrorism.

He didn't.

[commodious spittoon]

Totally what he said.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Bush failed at everything connected with terrorism and 9/11. He ignored warnings. He doesn't get any credit for "keeping America safe" because he didn't.

Fuck that lying bastard.

[Derpetologist]

Jeb: MAH BRUTHA HUGGED UH FAR-MAN, HERP HERP HERPADERP

[commodious spittoon]

I'm not going to sugarcoat it: safety at any cost plays well to the GOP base.

[PH2050]

Indeed. Cheering and wild applause for promise of military actions, silence for advising caution(Paul)

[Rhywun]

Who's this guy with the curly hair?

[AlmightyJB]

Racist

[Rhywun]

LOL got me

[Mongo]

Nearly 3,000 Americans died under your brother's watch, fuckface.

[Agile Cyborg]

Why would you put a state that loves its saviour while the entirety of the world thinks your savior is a bitch imbecile called a Star Wars bad decision.

[Rebel Scum]

When I pull-out, voids are created...

[commodious spittoon]

+1 bunker buster

[Crusty Juggler]

Nice. And pics? Thanks.

[AlmightyJB]

Come on bitches. I know you can do a kilo.

[Raven Nation]

I'm contributing.

[AlmightyJB]

I see that. I will gladly give you a cookie for your efforts.

[Rich]

"When we pull back, voids are created."

"I want to go in deeper."

This debate is getting nasty.

[SusanM]

Is Rubio a robot?

[Hyperion]

Thanks for telling the truth, Rand. Not that any of the idiot fucking morons in this country can actually appreciate it.

[Agile Cyborg]

Rand needs to move beyond these sideshows because they are fucking farcical.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rand flopped by telling the truth about Iraq. Silence.

"George kept us safe" got big applause.

He won't hold 3%

[PH2050]

I really fucking hate when you say things I agree with.

[Rich]

Trump initiates awkward high-five with Carson.

[Rhywun]

WTF was that?

[Rich]

War-opposition buddies.

[Rhywun]

Huh. OK

[commodious spittoon]

Alright, I'm about to bail for a movie. This is getting tedious.

[Tonio]

"Governor Bush's name has been invoked."

I was expecting a buzzer to be sounded.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Fuck CNN with a wire brush!

They cut RP after 15 seconds and let DT talk over everyone.

[Rhywun]

Christie lying about his 9/11 history again.

[PH2050]

Next thing you'll know, he'll be claiming he was dodging sniper fire after Hurricane Sandy.

[Hyperion]

The fat piece of Jersey shit who wasn't there? It should be a documentary movie.

[Hyperion]

Oh my fucking gawd, Rubio, you lying little piece of shit. Syria is like it is now because your butt buddy in the pantsuit helped to arm the 'good' terrorists. Fuck you, war monger piece of shit. You are everything that is wrong with the GOP.

[commodious spittoon]

Odds someone will bring up Letters of Marque and Reprisal? I'm thinking 1000:1.

[Rich]

That would be awesome.

Even if got pronounced "Markay".

[PH2050]

Paul's dad brought it up all the time, I'm surprised Rand hasn't.

[Derpetologist]

AVAST, MATEYS! DAMN THE TORPEDOES AND FULL SPEED AHEAD!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUnrWo6z9WY

[Tonio]

Cuspidor called it.

Good night, people.

[Hyperion]

Oh, poor fatboy, he's a 911 victim! Boohooo! One of those towers nearly fell on his belly! Who wants to chip in for a barrel of chicken and tators for this massive piece of shit?

[commodious spittoon]

shikha sood dalmia@shikhadalmia
Women, do you want to be "taken care of" by Trump?

I'm sure more than a few would put up with it for the perks.

[Hayeksplosives]

Christie is deploying the Lois Griffin "9/11" maneuver.

[PH2050]

Damn you for stealing my joke. Great handle btw

[Hayeksplosives]

Thank you. And, sorry about the joke theft.

[PH2050]

You can't help that you're psychic.

[AlmightyJB]

Is this thing still going on?

[Hayeksplosives]

Christie is deploying the Lois Griffin "9/11" maneuver.

[Hyperion]

Does Carson actually think this is a Ted Talk?

[Derpetologist]

Does Christie the Hutt strike anyone as strong- morally, mentally, or physically?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

CC is gonna vote for Bush?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Christie: SUDDEN IMPACT.

[Crusty Juggler]

Finally, I have been waiting for a Predator reference.

[Slammer]

This whole thing has been, "this guy said this about you"...I'm unimpressed that a candidate hasn't called Tapper and CNN out on the bullshit.

[Hayeksplosives]

Tapper's job is to make sure that the American people tire of republican candidates and vote for Hillary/biden/Sanders. Or stay home.

[BigT]

Carly did call him out on it about an hour ago. Enough about personalities, now how about the issues.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Rubio needs a better barber.

[Agile Cyborg]

Christie you are a shitty New Jersey fuck and all Americans should love the girls and boys in your state but they should want gremlins to eat your fucking brain and face and body and gremlins should make Chris Christy disappear because he is gremlin food and nothing more....

[commodious spittoon]

Really, Carson? We're just too weak to take out goatfuckers and dirt-farmers with Kalashnikovs?

[Agile Cyborg]

I guess all the bars make sense in front of all those dudes.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Rubio thinks intellect is for fags.

[SusanM]

+1 BRAWNDO!!

[AlmightyJB]

Their shits all retarded and shit.

[Hyperion]

Can we demote Rubio and Huckleberry to the junior debate?

[commodious spittoon]

Please please please.

[SusanM]

they just totally ignored Rand.

[Hayeksplosives]

Totally accidental, I'm sure...

They are avoiding Fiorina too. Can't have voters thinking out of the box, can we?

[commodious spittoon]

Tapper confirmed for misogynist.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Tapper's hair has just the right amount of wave.

[Agile Cyborg]

I just want a humongous caterpillar to eat the face off Jake Tapper and shit his body out like pie..

[Raven Nation]

That deserved to be comment #1000.

[Hayeksplosives]

Who can argue with that impeccable logic?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

What kind of pie?

Does it have crust or merengue?

[Agile Cyborg]

I think I saw Rand Paul's bikini once or twice....

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

This debate's an easy call, and I didn't even watch it. Go to your favorite news site, and look at the headlines. You get three guesses as to who's getting all the publicity.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Rand Paul's hair:

http://bit.ly/1QHko1Q

[Quincy.]

Staring somebody into a block of stone is a useful political talent, no?

[commodious spittoon]

What, no love for the Kurds now? Temperamental bunch, this audience.

[Agile Cyborg]

Jeb Bush loved the Kurds in 1992.

[Paul.]

Arab boots? I admit I may have been in a media-speak coma for about five or so years, but what happened to "Arab street"?

[Agile Cyborg]

Oh I see Tapper the CNN toys r us boy just turned his wii u to Paul for 8 seconds....

Can someone just fucking steal my Ohio governor and smash his body into a woodchipper because he is more retarded than even I can remember?

[Rhywun]

All right, I'm ready for the MasterChef finale now.

[Hyperion]

Thanks again, Rand, for telling the truth.

Get your own boots on the fucking ground, you bunch of fucking pussies.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

He's barely getting an applause for his best comments.

[lap83]

I was surprised he got any applause

[Crusty Juggler]

Rhetoric is greater than reality.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fiorina needs to wave a wooden spoon around as she talks.

[lap83]

sexist!

[Hyperion]

She needs to get in the kitchen and make us a nice sammich.

[Rhywun]

Chicken pot pie!

[Hyperion]

what?.... well, that sounds pretty good! Get us some cheesy poofs too, wench! And another beer! And serve it to us in some lingerie with that white girl ass!

I wonder if Carly wins if we're up for some cabinet positions? Pool boy?

[Quincy.]

As long as she smacks co-debaters on the head.

[AlmightyJB]

Fiorina needs to spank me with a wooden spoon. Oh, did I say that out loud.

[Hyperion]

You best take care bro, she'll be using that spoon on your ass in more ways than you think!

[Palin's Buttplug]

Nice quip you sexist asshole.

[Hyperion]

Look, asshole, we don't have any respect for some jackass with a posting name like yours. Go fuck off and eat a turd.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Anti-Sexist!

[Mongo]

Rufus is negging Fiorina.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

And?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Rand Paul: Why are we being Saudi Arabia's bitch in the Middle East?

[AlmightyJB]

Good job fuckers. I knew you good do it!

[Rich]

Kasich sounds like he wants to bring back the Crusades.

[commodious spittoon]

To fight insurgent forces we need more naval ships.

Right, thanks Carly.

[Derpetologist]

But how will we fight the Turkish galleys and Barbary corsairs?!

[commodious spittoon]

We need to close the trireme gap.

[Raven Nation]

I hear they're developing caravels.

[PH2050]

What do we do about Greek fire?

[Raven Nation]

Kill Archimedes?

[Agile Cyborg]

We also need to break down the brilliant geniuses who create code that limits government access to the lives and breathing and links and sex histories of common Americans....

Carly Fiorina HATES this and will work to smash a hammer into the brilliant efforts of those coding geniuses who love the open society.................. probably like Cruz, Kasich, HUckabee, Carson, and all the dumb blob ties... the GOP and DEMs produce?

[PH2050]

Ah, my buddy AC caught that comment she tried to slide in there at the last second, about "investing in the technology to keep America safe"...I bet she thinks that, she wants Big Brother and she wants it good and hard.

[Hyperion]

Is Carly a war monger? That was what I was afraid of about her.

[lap83]

It sounded like she was talking about deterrence

[commodious spittoon]

Detergents? Sexist!

[lap83]

She'll clean up America like she cleans up their shirts after the debate

[Derpetologist]

Hi, Carly Fiorina here to tell you about DoxyClean, the miracle stain solution that works by exposing the stain's character flaws.

[Quincy.]

I side with Carly, if she's against the Tide of communism.

[Hyperion]

Ok, I missed it, it's just that I'm worried.

[Derpetologist]

Cruz gets points from me for using the phrase "philosopher-king".

[Agile Cyborg]

Cruz showed up as a shadow to a million trumps... But its not like Agile will ever be surprised with his shit... Agile understands Cruz is a Jesus boy and even tho Jesus enjoyed the whores and wines Cruz thinks his Texas thing is about super CruzMan.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Huckster back on abortion. Like Guiliani and 9.11

[commodious spittoon]

My litmus test will be a literal litmus test to check which of these hoes is a basic bitch.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Brilliant!

[commodious spittoon]

Trump voter confirmed?

[Heroic Mulatto]

*raises eyebrow*

[PH2050]

Huckabee, I believe I have the right to take politicians like you and string you up from the nearest lamppost in self-defense.

[Agile Cyborg]

o lord jesus christ, I am so fucking loving PH2050 solution and shit and all...

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The Republican debate caused a tsunami. Of retard.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Rand Paul realizes he can't win and is just going on principle at this point. There's no way he'd be this unequivocal about Iraq if he thought he could come back.

[Palin's Buttplug]

I agree. Are you ready to concede that I was right about him not cracking 5% again in RCP?

[Hyperion]

I like the Rand I saw tonight. Pure libertarian stuff. Keep it up, Rand, you still have my vote.

[lap83]

god, I had paused the stream for a second and when I returned there was a bizarre collage of 4-5 Trump expressions (happy Trump, angry Trump, smug Trump) like a horrible nightmarishTrump-themed mirror funhouse

[Crusty Juggler]

So, it was really sexy?

[lap83]

It popped up again, so I took a screenshot

https://cdn.pbrd.co/images/HgbSjSB.jpg

[Crusty Juggler]

"gets hit from all sides." Ew. Good find. Ew.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Nancy Reagan sure gets a lot of play on CNN commercials

[Crusty Juggler]

She dared to say no.

[AlmightyJB]

I'm glad I'm not watching this. It sounds horrible.

[SIV]

Retweeted by @MattWelch
Will Wilkinson
@willwilkinson

Are you now, or have you ever been a cosmotarian?

Threat or menace?

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Can't we pick "nuisance"?

[Crusty Juggler]

For my fellow fans of the #cuckservative movement, our enemies finally have a flag.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

And quite a bit of artwork.

[Mongo]

Why is the Reason staff on that gay-ass Twitter and not amongst the commentariat?

[Agile Cyborg]

I guess we will blow asses with cocaine...

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Alternate programming: They're discussing that recent find in South Africa on NOVA.

I would not be surprised if it's a hoax. Too good to be true.

[Mongo]

The candidates should be asked what they think of this find (especially Huck and Carson).

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Alternate programming: They're discussing that recent find in South Africa on NOVA.

I would not be surprised if it's a hoax. Too good to be true.

[Hyperion]

CANNABIS!

[commodious spittoon]

RAND! YES! I KNOW THIS GUY!

[commodious spittoon]

Mary Jane, Bobby Sue was talking mad shit about you behind your back. Response?

[Hyperion]

Decent Paul, I'm sure the rest of them are going to totally fuck this.

[Hyperion]

Fuck you, Jeb, shut up.

[commodious spittoon]

You think maybe much of the heroin problem is caused by its illegality? Maybe?

[Not a Libertarian]

On topic of all of the Reason twitter commenters above who are bemoaning the length of debate:

Well, presumably, in some way its their _job_ to cover such things

and two, the debate was not meant for libertarians anyway. They _all knew_ that it would be watching people and ideas that they can't stand.

They didn't have to watch, and they didn't have to live comment on twitter.

[Hyperion]

Here you go, go Rand!

[commodious spittoon]

Okay, Rand, you touched on that already. Maybe talk about what a manifest failure the drug war has been under which heroin has become an epidemic.

[SIV]

Good to see Rand occasionally getting back to his roots. Too little, too late?

[Hyperion]

No, he's not done, yet. It's like some have said, guy is playing the long game, he understand how this works. He's just as libertarian as we are, remember that. But he's on that stage and he knows you have to play the long game.

[Hyperion]

Here goes Fat Boy shit to shove his own fat foot in his mouth.

[commodious spittoon]

Oh fuck you Chris "Colorado would be brought in line under my administration" Christie! You have ZERO credibility on this.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

NJ will send you to MJ treatment?

[commodious spittoon]

Federal "pound me in the ass" treatment.

[Agile Cyborg]

Rand Paul is winning on drugs. Period. All the other fail.

[SusanM]

Rand talking about giving cannibis oil to kids...is that a smart idea?

[SIV]

Yes.

[SusanM]

Come on - you know the left and right will be shouting "Rand Paul wants to give black tar heroin to schoolchildren!!!"

[Agile Cyborg]

We all know the left is full of retards so fuck them Sweet Susan.

[SusanM]

I'd rather not..

[commodious spittoon]

And Rand flops. Yeah, Americans are thinking long and hard on the tenth amendment.

[SIV]

Rand's hittin' 'em hard.

[Mongo]

Christie's dilemma: a marijuana-laced Big Mac.

[Agile Cyborg]

Rand kill Christie.

[Hyperion]

WTF? Jersey the Hutt supported medical pot? What?

[Crusty Juggler]

I worry that I am so weak that if a currently illegal drug became legal, I would do the drug(s), and then die.

[PH2050]

Christie ACTUALLY SAID "GATEWAY DRUG"

The Republican Party is lost. They have clowns on national stages parroting completely debunked bullshit.

[SIV]

Fuck y'all Carlytarians. This is her real face.

[PH2050]

Indeed. A fascist with tits. Fuck her.

[SIV]

If I believed in IP I'd trademark Carlytarian:

(Stephanie) Slade
@sladesr
Sad sighs all around @reason debate-tweeting HQ at that answer on marijuana from Carly.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Carly a drug warrior.

Too bad.

[De Oppresso Liber]

Carly just lost me

[Hyperion]

Yep, fuck that cunt. I didn't know enough about her. Now I do.

[Quincy.]

Carly believes in progress: capitalism made weed too good for you feckless millenials.

[commodious spittoon]

Oh my God did MJ kill your son, Carly? Sorry if I find that a little dubious.

[Rhywun]

Of course it's a fucking lie.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Her son died from a MJ overdose?

That is some good shit!

[SusanM]

because smoking a doob is exactly the same as main lining back alley heroin.

[SIV]

Maybe he died of AIDS he caught sucking dick for bong hits.

[Hyperion]

Oh fuck. Fuck you bitch, you're out for me. Fuck you. No respect now.

[Agile Cyborg]

I'm waiting Fiorina.... Tell the truth according to your shit but what is your fucking ....
oh... Fiorina is ended and i understand that she hates drugs....

Bush is talking and he hates drugs...

[Mongo]

Christie is drinking brown gravy from his cup.

[PH2050]

You know it's that good gravy too, that real shit with tasty animal fat drippings in it.

[Slammer]

Gravy is a gateway drug

[SusanM]

The question Paul should have posed as : Is the drug war sufficient justification for cops dragging people behind a Taco Bell and shoving their fingers up their ass?

[Hyperion]

Slow game, Susan, slow game. Rand learned this by watching his dad's failure in the POTUS race.

[Cytotoxic]

Ugh, please. He's done for this contest. He's going out with aplomb which is great but he's still not going to win. Let it go.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Read 'em and weep.

[lap83]

How many of those voters were Democrats I wonder?

[Cytotoxic]

The retards are multiplying!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Sampling bias

Definition: Systematic error due to study of a nonrandom sample of a population.

[Cytotoxic]

Better explanation.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

I don't doubt it. But in this case, I'd put up money that when the real polls come out tomorrow, they'll be telling the same story.

[Agile Cyborg]

Jesus fucking Christ....I am viewing the most lame minds ever created in the history of man and people clap to this shit...

[Rhywun]

And... every person on this stage demonstrates why I will never vote Republican. KTHXBAI

[Hyperion]

I told you all that Rand is the man. I told you. Now you believe? You want any of these other shitbags as president?

[Derpetologist]

A while ago on MSDNC, the caption at the bottom said "We watch the GOP debate so you don't have to".

[lap83]

how considerate

[commodious spittoon]

Will someone watch MSNBC so I don't have to?

[Derpetologist]

Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You ask too much!

Good day to you Sir!

[Slammer]

Marijuana killed Carly's child? I did not know.

[Crusty Juggler]

I believe it; I have watched Touch of Evil.

[lap83]

she seemed a little too happy when talking about how rich he was

[Hyperion]

I'm actually going to write to Carly on her website and tell her what I think about her shit WOD bullshit.

Encourage all of you to do the same. I had hopes for her. Why is it that all GOP candidates have to be such fuckstains on the same issues?

[SusanM]

Say hi to Preet, while you're at it.

[lap83]

I missed that part, did she at least leave open the possibility of respecting states rights on legalizing pot?

[Cytotoxic]

I remember a month or two ago she was open to that.

[Cytotoxic]

Honestly, I'd ignore it. MJ legalization is happening no matter how far up her own ass Carly is.

[Hyperion]

How is that we have not talked about the 2nd yet?

[commodious spittoon]

Apparently Trump took a line from Romney's "self-deportation" playbook. Voluntary social security renunciation. Yeah, that fixes everything.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rubio is a douchebag.

Not millennial friendly at all.

Rand Paul was supposed to be that.

[Quincy.]

Social Security is for losers.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Well my CNN feed cut out on me. What did Fiorina and Rubio say about marijuana?

[commodious spittoon]

Drugs are bad, m'kay?

[Agile Cyborg]

Fiorina and fucking Rubio think pot is demons from hell, bro..........

[Hayeksplosives]

Fiorina pretty much said we need more treatment options and that we incarcerate too many people.

[Cytotoxic]

That's...not nearly as bad as the above comments suggest.

[Hyperion]

She also said that drugs are an epidemic that is threatening the chilluns. She sounded like a local news douchebag.

[Cytotoxic]

That's stupid but come on. She sounds like everyone else (according to what I'm seeing). Throw-away boilerplate shit. Rand is not going to campaign on legalizing drugs.

[lap83]

I agree. I'm more concerned with what, if anything, she would do.

[SIV]

Carly opposes any legal medical marijuana. She's as bad as Christie or Bush.

[Cytotoxic]

She was in favor of letting states do their thing so you're clearly wrong on your last statement. You have a real hard-on for equating any non-Trump or non-Rand Republican with Bush/Christie.

[Agile Cyborg]

Ice them all... mostly.. but we know better as Libertarians which means that what we see and the fucking cable fucks see is vastly different.... it's winding down and very few upsetting alternatives have been introduced into the fucking out there... so now we have FUCKING global warming crap....that has NOTHING to do with any fucking dumbass on that podium... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[Quincy.]

CLIMATE CHANGE IS WINNING!

[Hyperion]

Yes, yes it is. Everyone has suddenly become willing to give up their current lifestyle and go live in a cave. Wonderful how all of these concerned citizens are ready to give it all up to save the planet.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

CHARLIE SHEEN IS CLIMATE CHANGE?!

[Quincy.]

TIGER BLOOD IS COOLER THAN YOU. THEREFORE GLOBAL WARMING IS LAME!

[SIV]

In Reason-parlance, TRUMP IS TOO THE LEFT OF CARLY FIORINA ON DRUGS

[Hyperion]

Really? I don't remember hearing from the Donald on this? What did he say?

[SIV]

"We're losing badly the war on drugs, You have to legalize drugs to win that war. You have to take the profit away from these drug czars."

[Cytotoxic]

Correction: Trump WAS to the left of Fiorina. Who knows how many times he's changed position since then.

[SIV]

He hasn't recanted. He's "100% for medical marijuana" and supports states rights on setting their own drug laws.

[Cytotoxic]

He hasn't recanted =/= he meant what he said when he said it or hasn't changed his mind. Sorry, nice try, but no. Trump is still all shit.

[Hyperion]

Wait... what? He just said that?

[Agile Cyborg]

Trump IS Fiorina, love...

Not that none of these fucks being hired to ruin drug shit will ever stop Agile Cyborg from doing his shit.. I will eat shrooms, lick stamps, chew peyote, ingest pills, and sniff coke off asses of beautiful asses that pretty much every single one of these candidates have done... Even Carson... Trump, Bush, Paul, Carson, Cruz, Kasich, they have all done drugs even though Trump demands he hasn't done drugs... Tons of liars on the stages....

[Hyperion]

I'm a skeptic you fat fuck. A fucking denier! Fucking AGW infidel, assface!

[Quincy.]

Advice to Carson: Just call him a stupid fuck, Ben.

[Pope Jimbo]

Please let vaccination nuttery sink Trump like it did Michele Bachmann

[Cytotoxic]

I'm not watching. Is Trump...really going there? Oh please yes. If he went there it would challenge my lack of belief in a sweet merciful God.

[PH2050]

I'VE SEEN BABIES GET HORSE SHOTS, I'LL PISS AND SHIT ON VACCINES VOTE FOR ME

[Palin's Buttplug]

Ben Carson has won this debate.

He managed to avoid a Rick W. Perry moment. That is all he had to do - not fuck up by GOP standards.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

FUCKING FINALLY.

THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS OVER.

PUT A FORK IN IT.

[Cytotoxic]

Don't count those chickens yet. I'm as eager as you man but wait for hatching.

[Hayeksplosives]

You'd like to think so, but check out the live poll at Drudge report.

[GILMORE?]

You think? why

I think that's probably right, but i wasn't basing it on the debates (which i didn't watch)

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Retracted. The other fucks agreed with him.

[GILMORE?]

e.g. ""At this point in 2011, the polls were led by Texas Gov. Rick Perry; in 2007, by former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani.""

in 2008 Hillary had a 20pt lead over obama up until the end of December, which narrowed to single digits before the actual primaries, and was a toss up through the process.

keep in mind less than 30% of the people currently being polled are likely primary voters, which tends to skew older, more politically active... less populist.

i just think the love affair with the swagger is never going to last.

[Crusty Juggler]

Vaccines caused my fibromayalagia, which was finally cured with chelation therapy.

[commodious spittoon]

If the other wars on things we've started are any indication, we'd have more cardiovascular diseases after several very expensive decades.

[PH2050]

War on Poverty: Failure
War on Drugs: Failure
War on Obesity: Failure
War on Terror: Failure

Yeah, I need a better track record before I get on board with any of this pie-in-the-sky "Cure" bullshit from Shucksabee.

[Agile Cyborg]

Yes, way too many in too short a time with vaccines... As a dad I asked my lovely pediatrician bro to spread out the vaccines for my two babies...

OK so Huckabee is hitting my brain for cures...

Fine, I can love Huckabee for this single issue... cures to save humans? I love that

But Huckabee will never be my president- but maybe a man searching for results? yea....

[PH2050]

Give the amazing machine known as the human body a little more credit. It's incredibly resilient and adaptive. However, I support the rights of parents to alter vaccine schedules for their children.

Shucksabee doesn't want results - I guarantee that if the mechanisms behind cancer were harnessed to grant physical immortality to humans, he would be among the first to rail against it. Don't fall for that bullshit. He doesn't want results, he wants to be elected.

[Quincy.]

WAR ON SOMETHING! WHY DO YOU HATE NOT-SOMETHING?

[Quincy.]

WAR ON SOMETHING! WHY DO YOU HATE NOT-SOMETHING?

[Hyperion]

Shut the fuck up, Huckleberry. The current plagues of heart disease and cancer, etc, are mostly caused by aging. Can we work on a cure for aging? Oh, what's that? Your god doesn't approve of that? Fuck off, luddite.

[Cytotoxic]

The cancer epidemic is a myth. Cancer rates are declining. The cancer epidemic to the extent that it existed was smoking.

Wait, WTF is Fuckleberry saying!?!?

[Hyperion]

Are you a microbiologist? I tried to ask you this earlier, but think you missed it?

[Cytotoxic]

Yes, more or less. That is part of my educational and training background.

[Hyperion]

My degree is CompSci, but I'm looking to study again in some type of study that will lead into a biotech field associated with longevity studies. If you know anything about Google's Calico or Aubrey de Grey, you know where I'm going.

I'm currently working mostly in a medical research environment as a software engineer and my data analysis skills are outstanding, so I am told by clients, so I'm hoping to get into biotech. Just not sure where I should start my studies. Any suggestions?

[Cytotoxic]

My suggestion: don't. I kind of wish I had done your degree. Life sciences research is kind of lame and right now fundamentally broken. So much junk research. Lab work is tedious as fuck, and in at least academia you live grant to grant. In my field there are way too many mediocre blandly competent hacks...like myself. Pay is not that good. Academia is a terrible place.

Synthetic biology is a super-exciting field however and I do think it is going to change the world. To get into commercial synthetic biology (Ex Muufri) you probably only need a BSc + some experience. The experience part is the bitch. To get into friggin Calico probably requires a PhD or a BSc with a crapload of experience. A PhD is too much for I am not interested in all that nonsense. Getting an MSc was awful enough.

[PH2050]

Hyp do you have a throwaway email? Or hit me up on Steam, I'll send you a link that maybe will get you started on your search.

[Cytotoxic]

What's your profession Mr. PH2050?

[Hyperion]

Yes, please do. My posting name is the same on Steam, so please send me an invite on there.

[commodious spittoon]

Sugar. It's the sugar.

[Derpetologist]

"Why don't we cure things instead of just treating them?"

Because cures are hard, Huckabee.

[Hayeksplosives]

Big problem with Huck is that he wants to use the government to regulate our behavior, for our own good of course.

[PH2050]

EXACTLY.

"Death is a disease! And there's a cure - a cure, and I will find it!"

[commodious spittoon]

Don't pander to me, kid. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.

[commodious spittoon]

Who laughed just now? That was horrendous.

[commodious spittoon]

Carly: on track, then veered off into the woods.

[lap83]

"Which woman should be on the ten dollar bill?"

None of them. Let men be the face of our crappy monetary system

[Pope Jimbo]

Full of promises, but really backed up by nothing?

Yep, leave them male.

[lap83]

although unlike men they should spend MORE time trying to get in my pants

[Heroic Mulatto]

HIIIIIIYOOOOO!!!!!!

[Pope Jimbo]

You need to divest yourself of fiat currency and invest in commodities - like cucumbers.

Or zucchinis, or carrots

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Rosa Parks is just racist pandering, but Cruz probably gave best answer.

[Agile Cyborg]

I think even Jesus would send this pile of fucks to hell because even Jesus lived so fucking lawless...

[Derpetologist]

Trueheart? Christie is a CareBear?

[Hyperion]

He's a fat piece of shit. Is that the same?

[Derpetologist]

Maybe all the GOP candidates can lift up their shirts and do a Care Bare Stare on Obama

[Hyperion]

Oh gawd, they all missed it! It's obvious, we need Caitlyn Jenner on all bills, effective immediately!

[Hayeksplosives]

Carly was right on this again. It is just a gesture. Don't bother changing it.

[Agile Cyborg]

Carly was right on being a cunt with 45 shades of evangelical bullshit with 3 shades of being actually free.... Fiorina is as institutional as Agile imagined.

[Hyperion]

Yes, but she failed the WOD test, miserably, she can go fuck herself with a chainsaw.

[Cytotoxic]

Get off that. They're all going to fail the WOD test, and it's not going to matter for MJ because that's getting legalized no matter what. If they hammer on it they will find themselves holding a glass hammer.

[Hyperion]

No, I'm not getting off of it, because it's a huge and tyrannical industry and it will take a massive effort to take it down.

[Cytotoxic]

Singling out Carly for this is silly.

[Hyperion]

I'm singling out anyone who cannot take a stand against one of the biggest crimes against humanity in modern times. Apparently, Rand is the only one who can do that.

[Pope Jimbo]

I think they are saving Caitlyn for the new $3 bill

[Slammer]

Nice.

[commodious spittoon]

Well aren't we looking smug, Bush.

[SIV]

How 'bout Standing Liberty? Or if you want TG-friendly Mercury always looked kinda femme on the dimes.

[Hayeksplosives]

Capped liberty was nice too.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Come on Rand, say Ayn Rand should be on it.

[commodious spittoon]

Paul's a mouthful, alright.

[Hayeksplosives]

Said Mrs Paul.

[Pope Jimbo]

Said mumbled Mrs. Paul

[Cytotoxic]

Damn.

[Pope Jimbo]

Should have gone with Big Daddy

[Palin's Buttplug]

aqua buddha

[Agile Cyborg]

So we have this line of fucks who are all horrible distasteful fucks outside their origins...

I like Rand Paul even tho I saw his face and tie a couple of times. Bush, Trump, Kasich, and all the other ones cried about family members getting ruined on prescriptions assigned by doctors and a bunch of them did not like the fact that I hated them searching my personal life on the digitals and almost all of them love to attack people with bombs.

[Cytotoxic]

"almost all of them love to attack people with bombs."

There is a time and a place for that.

[commodious spittoon]

Abortion = slavery.

Like, I get what he's saying: from his perspective it's prenatal genocide. Be he can't think that comparison is going to grow legs.

[commodious spittoon]

You know what else isn't going to grow legs...?

[ThomasD]

How many people do you suppose thought Dred Scott's argument had no legs?

[commodious spittoon]

He, hindsight is a bitch, but it's in part because Dred Scott was ultimately vindicated that comparing anything to slavery at this point in time is a political loser.

[Derpetologist]

suggested Secret Service names

Huckabee Big Boy
Trump Fluffy
Carson Jazz
Fiorina Ice Queen
Cruz Honky
Rubio Thirsty
Paul Curly
Jeb Me too

[Derpetologist]

Walker: Patches
Christie: Beanbag

I forget who the other jerkoff is.

[lap83]

Kasich, how about sparkles?

[Derpetologist]

Kasich: Blandy

[Quincy.]

Huckabee: Grits
Trump: Hair Cub
Carson: Brain Stab
Fiorina: Bangs
Cruz: Frostback
Rubio: Bartender
Paul: Scalpel
Jeb: Dynasty
Walker: Scabby
Christie: Donut
Kasich: That guy

[Agile Cyborg]

I think CNN modeled their fucking internal shittiness and projected it correctly on the faces they asked things about.

[Derpetologist]

It's not Kah-may-nee, you dolt! It's Kha meh nee!

[Vampire]

Reagan is dead, and these douchebags haven't learned from all his spending, corporatism, inability to deal with the fed, increased gov't and so on goes the list of things.

Reagan talked a good game, but never followed through.

[Cytotoxic]

"Reagan talked a good game, but never followed through."

Stop that. Just stop that.

[lap83]

More of everything!!

[SusanM]

15 people walking on water...

[Agile Cyborg]

I saw tons of faces tonight I just decided I hate- except for Paul/ I love Paul forever.

[Hyperion]

In my humble opinion, his old man is the father of the modern libertarian movement. And Rand, I'm going to say again, is just as libertarian as any of us, but he has to play this game and he has to play to win.

[Cytotoxic]

"his old man is the father of the modern libertarian movement."

He's not. There were plenty of real intellectuals that actually fathered the movement. Ron Paul is a senile asinine asshole who seriously believes The Bankers overthrew Ukraine's dictatorship. Fuck him and anyone still paying homage to Ron "NewsLetterz" Paul.

[Hyperion]

Name one

[Cytotoxic]

Seriously? Read a book. Ayn Rand for one. Hayek for another.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

As has been pointed out numerous times on these very boards, Ayn Rand hated libertarians. She'd laugh her ass off if someone termed her as one of the intellectual founders of libertarian philosophy.

[Hyperion]

No, neither are representative of the modern day libertarian movement. Dr. Paul is the man.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Our debates need to be more like this.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm reminded of an Armstrong and Miller clip I can no longer find. After a rousing lambasting speech in parliament, the parliamentarian leans into the camera, smirks, and says "I'm wearing my wife's knickers!"

[commodious spittoon]

What do these clowns think leadership even means?

Does any one of them, excepting possibly Paul, understand that this country does not need leadership but rather to castrate would-be leaders? We have a surplus of leaders at every level of government, and they're all, each and every one of them, trailblazing exciting new ways to sap the American economy.

[Cytotoxic]

Leadership is vital to implementing good ideas and getting rid of bad ones. Good leadership without good ideas is like a cart before a horse, or more likely a paradox. Good leadership requires good ideas.

[SusanM]

Lot of pens and phones.

[Whahappan?]

I think it's more precise to say we don't need RULERS, not that we don't need leaders. There's a complete dearth of leaders at all levels of government, and an over abundance of would-be rulers.

[commodious spittoon]

I wish more of our political leaders were out standing in their fields.

[commodious spittoon]

I can see why Kasich moved up. I can't remember a single policy he's advocated, but I can see why he's liked.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Jesus Christ, is this still going?

[Pope Jimbo]

I know Christie's brother in law and I'm sure if he won I could get a night in the Lincoln bedroom.

I'm still horrified by the idea that he could win. What a fucking ass.

[Agile Cyborg]

I will beat the fuck out of Christie and his shitty brother parasite in law....

[Pope Jimbo]

Brother in Law AC, brother in law.

He's a great guy. Maybe if Christie wins, I will get that invite and sneak you and the other HyR regulars in. I'm sure the resulting scandal will sink his administration.

[commodious spittoon]

Libertarians: the only people from whom a Republican would flee faster and farther than Nazi skinheads, Klansmen, or Truthers.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I've been known to drop an upper decker.....

Do they have regular toilets in the Whitehouse, or commercial flush?

[Agile Cyborg]

I just realized that all these people of power are horrible fucking outlaws granted tons of power I should be running from because they are all bullies with weapons and would be super happy to try and kill me with their friends- only problem is I am quite a muscular dude and quite large and tall and I have a history of taking out people with a single fucking punch right to fucking face and I have to admit I have secret desire that imagine punching the fuck out of every single on of these dumb fucks except for Paul and Fiorina- I would be thrilled to face the rest in a ring and rest assured... they would all fall- including Trump....

My right arm is super fast and even lightning is jealous... when the fist on the end of that arm hits your fucking chin your nerves ass of a sudden send you to mind mall... where all the clothes aren't purchasable...

[Pope Jimbo]

Agile, you aren't really Dunphy on Dope are you?

I fucking hope not because I love you. Please tell me that you are not married to Morgan Fairchild and you don't surf.

[Agile Cyborg]

jesus fucking CHRiST.. I cannot even fucking believe that I have to deal with this shit after I been on this site for fucking years.....

Agile is the brother that loves Pope Jimbo and I do dope but I am seriously upset about this Dunphy thing.

Dunphy doesn't even fucking hang out on this shit and I don't even fucking know that fuck, Pope.

I keep telling you fuckers when you fucking see agile cyborg in these threads there will NEVER be some shit fucking with you...

so fucking tired of this shit...
Can Reason please let all the brothers and 2.4 sisters know that Agile Cyborg is the same dude from years ago to 2day... I don't believe in manipulation.....

[Pope Jimbo]

AC

1) mea culpa. I owe you a big apology. The combination of booze and listening to the assholes on TV messed with my mind.

2) I way more believe your truth than anything that Dunphy has ever written. My doubt of you casts a shadow on the whole idea of papal infallibility.

3) I will make sure to give myself a proper penance when I wake up.

4) When I get that invite to the Christie White House, I won't make you pay a cover charge to get in.

[Bill Dalasio]

Watching this debate, I walked away that understanding that Rand Paul is not only the heir to Ron Paul, he's the best heir of Reagan. Limited government, free markets, and the dynamism of the American people (not the government) are the things that make America great! That's the essence of Reagan. And it's the thing that Paul is standing for. If the GOP cares about the legacy of Reagan, they'll back Dr. Paul.

[Agile Cyborg]

Rand Paul rose above, brother Bill.

I am happy with Rand Paul. He transmitted power, love, and hope.

[Bill Dalasio]

It's what I love about Dr. Paul (both) and it is what I loved about Reagan. It isn't about are you one of us or one of them. It's about do you love life. Is your political statement free people can be amazing? And you can be an old geezer in a 3-piece suit or a cosmic starchild and, if you get that point, you'll arrive at the same conclusion. Tell the truth. Be good and right. Love your fellow man. These are pretty simple rules. Weird how so few running for office get them...

[Agile Cyborg]

Rand Paul rose above, brother Bill.

I am happy with Rand Paul. He transmitted power, love, and hope.

[Hyperion]

They won't, because they're fucking stupid. None of these imbeciles even deserve to be on the same stage with Paul. He's too smart for the American voter, they think they're watching a game show.

[Cytotoxic]

WHYCOME FAGGOT WANT AMNESTY

[Agile Cyborg]

well this is an interesting.

[Hyperion]

We don't care if you want amnesty. Shut up.

[Slammer]

Christie: "A chicken parm in every pot"

[Rhywun]

Sounds good to me.

[Hayeksplosives]

Chicken parm, you taste so good.

Do we have to get Peyton Manning on the ticket somehow?

[Hyperion]

Yeah fatboy, but you'll go have a huggy lovefest with our enemies, the leftists inside our own country. Fuck you, fat bag of shit.

[Hyperion]

Who is clearly the outsider here? Rand? You don't say so. Fuck you establishment bitches.

[commodious spittoon]

CNN shut off the preview feed! HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT LUMINARIES IN THE GOP THINK ABOUT THESE BRILLIANT MEN AND WOMAN?

[commodious spittoon]

And Trump, natch.

[Agile Cyborg]

Rand Paul made me feel like Baby Blue 2 nite.

[Vampire]

Slapped Rand Paul? That CNN dude with the mustache is a douchebag.

[Agile Cyborg]

I love my baby blue, Rand. Always did. Baby.

I fucking hated everyone else but Agile is probably right about the future...

Paul/Fiorina on my bumper...

Carly has tons of issues that can be fucking fixed by a strong man but Carly has potential...

Sorry. Carly, you ain't no fucking Agile Cyborg realization but our boys think you might have a role with our main boy... WHY? you ask because you strike agile as flexible and intelligent which is something super rare in the fucking politic of 2day.

[Cytotoxic]

Um...this. Perfectly this.

[lap83]

That would be great, but I see Trump/Fiorina as being more likely, unfortunately

[Hayeksplosives]

I would like to believe that none of these guys and gals would agree to be trumps running mate.

[Cytotoxic]

I think Fiorina has learnt her lesson about doomed mergers.

[Agile Cyborg]

what does Trump do that makes a fine girl like you feel so special. Sir Poison.

[Agile Cyborg]

what does Trump do that makes a fine girl like you feel so special. Sir Poison.

[Agile Cyborg]

what does Trump do that makes a fine girl like you feel so special?

[Bill Dalasio]

About this.

Fiorina does have the sense of life that could make her amazing. She's not only smart, but spiritually she "gets it". The only problem is "intellectually", she doesn't. She's yet to break away from establishment thinking. A Paul VP would be exactly what would make her a legend.

[Cytotoxic]

Didn't watch the debate, but Rand needs to cut out this 'invading Iraq created ISIS' shit. No, it didn't Rand. ISIS happened in Syria. There is no reason to believe Syria wouldn't be as awful without American intervention next door or the 8 or so rifles America sent to Syria's rebels. There's actually a fair bit of reason to suspect that Iraq under Sadaam would make things a lot worse. He had to go.

[Calidissident]

ISIS didn't magically pop into existence when the Syrian conflict started.

[Cytotoxic]

No, people from all over the world and the tons of jihadist scum released from Syrian prisons by Assad at the revolution's outset created ISIS and the other baddies over there. If ISIS didn't exist, they would just join Nusra, so they'd be united without any of the Nusra-ISIS infighting giving us a little bit of goodness. Oh, and in this alt universe, the Kurds are weaker and Sadaam is funding the Sunni rebels of Syria. Great.

[GILMORE?]

"the 8 or so rifles America sent to Syria's rebels'"

Your opinion might sometimes be more interesting if you seemed like you actually cared about facts.

The US (and others we support) were shipping boatloads of arms, cargo planes of arms, from 2011-2014, and more recently (spring of 2014) have been delivering anti-tank missiles (TOW), heavier mortars, etc to select groups, while turning the flow off and on again depending on the freshness of the news cycle

You seem to care so much about these foreign conflicts, but often don't actually seem to know fuck-all about them.

e.g. your blathering about how the turks and the kurds were BFF a couple months ago...shortly before they re-ignited in open warfare

re: ISIS being a syrian phenomenon.... their leadership came directly from AQI, and there is still a large baathist contingent in the upper leadership of the group

[Cytotoxic]

I appear to know far more than you.

"The US (and others we support) were shipping boatloads of arms,"

Bzzt. The US did not supply many of those. That was the Gulf Arabs whom you have disingenuously appended in there.

"e.g. your blathering about how the turks and the kurds were BFF"

You mean when I was talking about warming relations between the KRG and the Turks. Yes that happened and they are still shipping oil. Again, incredibly disingenuous to just lump them all together as 'the Kurds'.

"ISIS being a syrian phenomenon.... their leadership came directly from AQI"

The leadership came from Iraq the almost everything else didn't. The fighters all came from all over the world and Syria.

Another uppity byatch gets Cyto-pwned. There is pretty much a 1 to 1 correlation between how huffy and puffy a response to me is and how hard I slap them down.

[Cytotoxic]

The only rebels to get serious US support are the PYG.

[Calidissident]

ISIS existed before the Syrian conflict even began. It was formerly known as Al-Qaeda in Iraq and later the Islamic State of Iraq. That's some nice hand waving on your part though.

[Cytotoxic]

AQI was a ragged shadow of its former self before Syria. They were bolstered and made anew by the reams of foreigners coming to Syria to fight. If they hadn't joined ISIS, they would have joined Nusra or some other group that would in effect be ISIS with a different name. That's not 'hand-waving', those are problems with your narrative.

[JeremyR]

That is why Rand will never win the Republican nomination.

Blaming the US for foreign policy problems is never going to sell to most of the party. Some of the libertarian wing and some of the Jew-hating Pat Buchanan wing. But not the bulk of the party.

[Cytotoxic]

He should just talk about all the money America is spending propping up European welfare states.

[Agile Cyborg]

My arms hear the tonal galaxies of get on time, nigga.

[Apatheist ?_??]

So what? I'm not going to vote for those interventionist pieces of shit. American foreign policy has been atrocious for decades and the Iraq war was a disaster. Even "finger on the pulse of America's retards" Donald Trump can admit as much. Maybe the Republican base isn't that retarded as anymore and are tired of being world policemen?

[Calidissident]

"Maybe the Republican base isn't that retarded as anymore and are tired of being world policemen?"

Ha, good one.

[Cytotoxic]

There's no such thing as 'interventionism'. It's a straw man.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I watched less than 5 minutes before pulling the ejection handle

[commodious spittoon]

You missed a wild ride. Pataki highlighting as the most reasonable man in the junior debate, Graham and Santorum butting heads for the title of most risible contender, Trump playing the moderators' personal pitbull, Carly knocking heads and taking names, Carson being methodical and soft-spoken and yet somehow remaining a definite presence, Rand getting his states rights talk on, Christie pretending he's to the left of Trump, c-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannh?user Gate...

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I miss Fred Thompson

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I miss Fred Thompson

[commodious spittoon]

pretending he's to the right of Trump, damnit.

[Agile Cyborg]

If Nick is running this bull rum in 2020 and Agile Cyborg letters show up bitches it will be forever the same exact dude now and in the future.... Agile Cyborg respects his stallions all getting creative and Agile Cyborg loves his scribes but i NEVER change my Agile Cyborg shit....

Does Nick change his super duper awesome hair and black Jacket?

[Paul.]

School girl trafficking in Japan! Vice tells all!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NcIGBKXMOE

[Agile Cyborg]

goddamn Mac Miller with Action Bronson... gotta replay Mac... wat the frang?

Just hanging on some booze and crack and songs, boys....long ass leadon....i love you action you fat whore... but.. waitin on this bars.. I like 4:40 up/

[Hayeksplosives]

I'm gonna go ahead and be naive and stuff. Carly has a place on her website for people to submit questions. What if enough of us ask about or suggest she change her drug legalization status? Be kind, because she lost a stepdaughter to addiction , but also point out the evils of prohibition. I think we could change her mind.

[Agile Cyborg]

goddamn Mac Miller with Action Bronson... gotta replay Mac... wat the frang?

Just hanging on some booze and crack and songs, boys....long ass leadon....i love you action you fat whore... but.. waitin on this bars.. I like 4:40 up/

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What in the flying fuck? My phone just alerted to a "tsunami advisory".

We could see waves of almost 1 foot in the AM!!!!!

[Hayeksplosives]

Chile, wasnt it?
"

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Yeah. Probably devastating there, but a non event here

[Agile Cyborg]

I hope my sweet and awesome Playa doesnt die. I would be extremely sad.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I'm waxing my surfboard right now. Go big or go home.

[Hyperion]

But are you waxing your buffalo?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

If that term is something sexual that I don't know about, then yes.

[Hyperion]

Buffalo Polish, for the shiniest buffalo in town.

It's an American history thing. I think the stuff was stove polish or something.

[Hyperion]

Please tell me you don't live in Murland, I was just ready to sleep. Not another tsunami!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Another?

[Hyperion]

That was a joke. Where are you?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Manhattan Beach, CA. About an hour away from your beloved Simi Valley.

[Hyperion]

Well, fuck, my old neighborhood is still there, I hope a tsunami doesn't wipe it out before I take the wife out to visit the left coast.

[Agile Cyborg]

Dolce and gabanna and I hope those bitches don't die because i crank their shit.

[Agile Cyborg]

i am super fucked up and i really dont understand all the fucking shit and guess what just because i m fucking engagedin cocaine and sizzurp doesn't fucking mean i will FCUKING be taking advantage of by these fucking millionaire rappers.... dude/ u don't even know

[Hyperion]

Well, it's like this AC. A long time ago in a nation far far away, I had a GF. One day, I, being a young man wanted some sex and she said, OMG, you're drunk and on drugs I think too, again! And I said, yeah, but there's not enough alcohol and drugs in the universe to make me less intelligent than you already are. Well, I didn't get any sex that day, but it felt good.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The non-sex felt good?

[Hyperion]

Well, fuck yeah, I went and banged her BFF, what you thinking man?

[Hyperion]

Hey, ya'll realize that there are nearly 1400 comments on this thread?

[Agile Cyborg]

hyp, boy god, I understand that you are the mad max of this hundreds of lines but Agile is trying to be nasty on top of a Chicago building and you don't seem to care about my efforts.... and all..

I would like to fuck this redhead tonight but I guess hundreds of comments from that strange planet you love are greater than my orgasm....

[Hyperion]

WTF? You kidding me, bro? You the man! Now go get some a dat ginger! We did it!

[Agile Cyborg]

When my cock cums I will name my sperm, Hyp. Agile Cyborg cum Hyp. People don't believe I fuck while i post but I massage and the ebony chocolate is on my bed asleep because she wants her holes fucked but I massage my lovers into mangolexus but she is peering at me..... MRS GHETTO NINJA... man I haveta drop this play... I really need to fuck my catfish

[commodious spittoon]

And I'm somewhere north of 10%. Busy night.

[Agile Cyborg]

the upper beds under the Chicago suns is where we play and I wish Reason could visit me and my baby with the lovers and our piles of cocaine under the shucko coke pyramids...... I guess i have to pretend to offer bottles... but the naked bodies... oh man

[Hyperion]

Is this thread a record here?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

No. The record was the salty ham tears thread. That really got out of hand.

[Hyperion]

What? What is this legendary thread you speak of? Link?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The comments got so bad that Reason deleted it. I believe that Pro Libertate keeps a copy somewhere.

[Hyperion]

How long ago was this?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Found it on web archive.
1656 comments.
http://web.archive.org/web/201.....mmy-and-sw

[Hyperion]

Wow, thank you. You've done great work for Humanity, Playa. 2006, before my time. Were you around back then?

I first started lurking here in 2008 and took me about a year before I started posting much, ya'll scary man.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Me? No. I lurked for years. Maybe 2011.

[Paul.]

YOU'RE OUT OF HAND!

[Derpetologist]

My name is Derpan McCleod. I was born on this thread 400 comments ago. I am still awake. I am an insomniac.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6ySefEuW84

[Hyperion]

Chappie knows what consciousness is, wait there while I upload you.

[Hyperion]

This is post # 1400, bitches.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

1404? IS THAT ALL WE GOT?

[Crusty Juggler]

Last.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You wish.

[Hyperion]

Hah, both of you wish...

[Hyperion]

Well gdamnit, it's about time that someone around here has recognized my many talents!

[PH2050]

I'm picturing Hyperion typing away while "Eye of the Tiger" plays in the background.

[Agile Cyborg]

I'm not slipping into a pool of bloody ostrich arms... and I recognize the talents of the various effigies slipping about the nuance of this place and Hyp is a fine boy. Super fine boy. If you take an angle and point it directly at your face you just feel the fucking efficiency of that single angle. Metatarsals are like this. And I just think in this one instance Hyp made his metatarsals mad. I'm fucking FOR Hyp's metatarsals. I think I accidentally got my tarsals mixed up but I'm too lazy to rewrite this shit.

[Paul.]

Well, in my mind.

[Paul.]

First, bitch.

[commodious spittoon]

If I said Buttplug is more incomprehensible than Agile, who am I insulting?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Not yet.

I don't want to miss this comedic art.

[PH2050]

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

[commodious spittoon]

Because Fiorina's question quoted Rand, I think.

[PH2050]

I think it was a gambit, he sees that Trump can be easily baited.

[Palin's Buttplug]

I'm sober?

[JeremyR]

I guess that's why he learned Spanish

[SIV]

Fuck Jeb. He's the most-worst of the field. He needs to quit so I can shift more hate to Kasich.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Bob Probert (his ghost)-Stan Jonathan-Chris Nilan-Dave Schultz at the border!

[Mongo]

He's running a terrible campaign.

[SIV]

He's against jus soli citizenship and thinks 14 is a "living breathing" Amendment.

[PapayaSF]

So it can inhale gay marriage, but it can't exhale Mexicans?

[Rhywun]

Agreed.

[Crusty Juggler]

Ugh. Shall not be infringed does not mean what you think it means. It means that people who are better than you can tell you what it means.

[kevrob]

Damned frostbacks have to stay on their own side of the border.

Chis Nilan is from Mass., so he'd be eligible.

List of hockey enforcers may be useful for recruiting `Muricans!

Kevin R