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  1. Donald Trump has become the first Republican 2016 candidate to exceed 30 percent support in the polls.

    This has to end soon.

    1. The more he’s attacked, the stronger he becomes!

      1. Doesn’t Superman usually defeat the Parasite by exposing him to so much energy at once it overwhelms him? I’m trying to imagine the amount of media attention Trump would have to absorb for this to happen.

        1. The more attention he gets, the more UUUUUUUGE he becomes.

      2. So he is really Bruce Banner?

        1. Sebastian Shaw.

          1. +1 Hellfire Club

            1. Melania would make one hell of a White Queen.

    2. This has to end soon.

      And by ‘This’ you mean the constant Trump headlines on Reason?

    3. Is that your assessment or your diktat?

      1. His suit is so fucking empty I can’t figure out what’s been holding it up this long.

        1. The power of his hair?

          1. Well, it’s air, a la sky dancers. But the fans blowing that air can’t keep it up forever.

        2. Well he certainly has his share of problems but the “empty suit” is an analogy that works for politicians like John Edwards not so much with Trump. Trump is a suit so full that he’s bursting at the seems with shit, and I think does genuinely believe in most of the shit he’s saying.

          1. Have you heard any coherent policy plans from him? He reacts to things just fine, but aside from immigration, all I’ve gotten from his have been empty statements, so much more so than the usual from candidates.

            1. Still more positive than 7 years of Obama.

            2. Are you really that afraid of winning? C’mon man, elect Trump and we’ll have so much winning we’ll get bored of winning. WINNING! How is that not a coherent policy plan? It’s winning, it has “winning” right in the name!

              1. The “winning” thing is hilarious. Has he been doing blow with Charlie Sheen or something?

              2. WINNING! is just Trump for Hope’n’Change.

            3. You know, the depressing thing is that you *could* argue that one of the most useful thing a President could do, is to be “America’s CEO”, leading a cadre of appointees who represent a specialized, effective second tier of management.

              I’m confident that Trump isn’t capable of being “America’s CEO”, which would require a certain degree of ‘distance’ from the issues of the day and a level of self-reflection (and maybe humility) – but the idea of a President who is a statesman, rather than a politician, is one whose time may have arrived.

              The chilling thought is that enough voters mistake Trump’s bluster for competence and believe that a presidential term can be conducted like a series of “The Apprentice”, but with more gravitas.

              1. It would be helpful if America’s CEO recognized that not every fucking thing needs to be managed. Not from the top or from middle managers. Trump is another asshole who thinks he needs to have an answer for everything. That answer will be knee jerk and empty of any critical thought or consideration of likely consequences, but tax dollars are going to be spent trying to implement it nonetheless.

              2. The chilling thought is that enough voters mistake Trump’s bluster for competence and believe that a presidential term can be conducted like a series of “The Apprentice”, but with more gravitas.

                Don’t be afraid of Trump–be afraid of the guy/gal currently on the sidelines, watching the drama and taking notes.

                1. Donnie Jr.?

                2. Don’t be afraid of Trump–be afraid of the guy/gal currently on the sidelines, watching the drama and taking notes.

                  ^^ This.

                  As I have said before, the Gracchi Brothers showed the upper class how to whip the mob up for political gain, but they ultimately amounted to nothing. But Julius Caesar was paying attention, and those techniques helped him overthrow the Republic.

                  We moved from a restrained state to one that gives big free shit to people (Social Security up through Medicare). However lately, the politicians have figured out that they can win by doing nothing- not passing budgets, giving token ‘reforms’ and ultimately blaming the inaction on their opponents. This all happened to the Roman Republic, and the next phase is that people get so tired of the Do Nothing politicians that they put a strongman in power.

                  Just wait. Just. Wait.

                  1. But Julius Caesar was paying attention, and those techniques helped him overthrow the Republic.

                    Exactly. People forget that Caesar was a populare, not an optimate, and gained a lot of public support by actually going down to the shit-and-disease-ridden Roman slums and talking to the people who lived there. He was a patrician who seemed to give a damn about their lives, unlike the functionally principled buy clueless politicians like Cato who adored Rome as an idea but had become increasingly separated from seeing Rome as a civic entity.

                    Furthermore, they forget that Caesar (and his ambitious contemporaries, for that matter) never would have been able to exploit populist anger if the Senate hadn’t devolved by that time into a corrupt, self-serving body that couldn’t effectively address the needs of a growing empire abroad and the people they nominally represented at home.

            4. Have you heard any coherent policy plans from him?

              Yes actually. I mean they aren’t exactly policy position papers (which are worthless any ways) but he has made policy proposals concrete enough to be picked apart and criticized for their wrongness.

              He’s alluded to trade issues with other countries, he’s come right out and said he’ll do X, Y and Z to bring factory jobs to the United States et cetera. The man is an oaf perhaps, but not an empty suit, not that having policy proposals is even what makes you an empty suit. “Empty suit” describes a politician who is transparently insincere, The Donald seems rather sincere with his bluster.

              1. Maybe you’re right and his delivery just makes all his proclamations seem like stream of consciousness blathering to me. I should probably stop reading in his voice the things he says.

                1. Until recently I didn’t actually see Trump speak other than at the debates. Man, when he gets in front of an audience, he is an extremely powerful speaker. This is his power. Americans talk about policy all the time, but they crave a smart-talking leader. That’s Obama. That’s Trump.

                  I fear the next few years.

                  At least President Hillary will get pushback from the GOP Senate/Congress because she is a Dem. President Trump will, like Bush, start proposing all sorts of stupid ass shit and it will pass because it’s a “GOP” idea. Sigh.

                  1. Democracy is nothing if not a demagoguery contest between pathological liars. Hopefully we get a powerful speaker with libertarian values, but the system heavily selects against these candidates since such values necessarily preclude demagoguery and lies.

                    1. such values necessarily preclude demagoguery and lies.

                      Meh, I don’t see any evidence of that. You could have a lieing, demagoguing libertarianish politician.

                      The problem is that libertarian remedies almost always deal with hidden costs and it is much EASIER for a prog/nativist demagog to point to the seen costs. Check for example, the Minimum Wage. You can lie and vilify the opposition all you want about how this is going to keep poor people from getting jobs, but it isn’t intuitive. On the other hand, a lying prog can say you are trying to help greedy business owners and the intuitive connection (the seen cost) is much easier for people to grasp.

                    2. Meh, I don’t see any evidence of that. You could have a lieing, demagoguing libertarianish politician.

                      What would he be lying about? Plus can you think of any libertarian politicians whose unethical political practices are in the same league as the more regular species of political creatures? I guess if you want to paint Pinochet as a libertarian which you could sort of do if you ignore the repressive social policies and consider Chicago school economics to be species of libertarianism, which is not really the case.

                  2. President Trump will, like Bush, start proposing all sorts of stupid ass shit and it will pass because it’s a “GOP” idea. Sigh.

                    I don’t think this would be the case. The GOP establishment absolutely fears and loathes this guy, and McConnell/Boehner are nothing if not establishment politicians.

                    It’s a lot more likely that Trump becoming President would shift the Overton window and result in a realignment, perhaps only temporary but still, of political alliances within both Congress and the electorate at large. The days of the GOPe being in lockstep with its nominal party leader would be over, probably splitting into a Chamber of Commerce/neocon wing devoted to large immigration rates, overseas adventurism, and low capital gains/corporate tax rates; and a nativist/nationalist wing promoting little if any immigration at all, an isolationist foreign policy, and tax rates on all income at 3-4 tiers.

        3. His suit is so fucking empty I can’t figure out what’s been holding it up this long.

          The GOP sowed no wind, and now it reaps hot air. Seriously, the disappointing aftermath of the midterms and the constant capitulation by Republicans over the past several years is going to sink this election. Immigration is Trump’s easy answer to the massively complicated mess our semi-socialized economy has become, much like Dodd-Frank was for post-bailout reactionary voters at the start of Obama’s tenure.

          1. To clarify, the queasiness about banking and bank regulation that led to the legislative clustermess which is Dodd-Frank. Hypervigilant regulation was supposed to be the silver bullet for righting a listing economy, much like sealing off the border and somehow deporting millions of illegals will make America great again.

            1. I think we got it the first time. WE’RE NOT IDIOTS.

              1. I am! /man in the back

              2. Yeah, but I looked it up and found D-F was a lot later in his term than I remembered. Which makes me the idiot.

                1. I’m sure it was in the works at the beginning.

        4. His suit is so fucking empty I can’t figure out what’s been holding it up this long.

          Pure ego. With Trump, it’s all about I’m richer than you know, I’m more successful than these losers, I sell foreign plutarchs $40 million condos, I wrote the world’s best-selling business book ever. Trump has always lived his life for, and only for, Trump.

          Sure Trump is not qualified to be president, but Trump is a hero who Ayn Rand would be proud of.

          Anyway, nobody is qualified to be US president. If you disagree, you’re a loser.

    4. This has to end soon.

      Well, one way or another it eventually will.


        1. NIETHER IS NOW!

            1. +1 awesome tune

            2. Nice.

              Are you familiar with Hippy Chick? Soho used the Smith’s track for background.

                1. Yeah, I remember that. Never heard the sample in it before. Usually I can pick those things up.

                  1. Actually, it had to be pointed out to me, and I was disappointed to have missed it.

                    I found the “backstory” behind Hippy Chick to be interesting : “Hippychick was written as a short blues based pop song, written from the perspective of a young woman arrested by her boyfriend (who is a policeman) on a demonstration. She is basically telling him it’s over, because, as a cop, he supports an establishment she wants to get rid of. And if that sounds a bit pretentious now then it probably sounded less pretentious in the late ’80s when it was written, when young people in the UK had been politicized by the very real threat of nuclear war, the miners strike, (which was practically a small scale war between the massed ranks of government forces – including the army, and the miners and their supporters in 1984), the anti-apartheid movement (against the evil fascists who controlled South Africa back then) and the defiance against the much hated Poll Tax.”


    5. Hello.

      Trump campaign aide: You’re doing well!
      Trump: What do I need to do to keep this momentum?
      CA: Keep crazy! It’s working! Halloween is coming soon. Maybe we can come up with something with goblins, razor blades and false refugees from Syria.
      Trump: Yeah baby! Let’s do this!

      1. Never did any man by the most splendid achievements gain for himself so
        great a name for wisdom and prudence as is justly due to Junius Brutus
        for feigning to be a fool.

        – Machiavelli

        1. Rather than be reminded of Junius Brutus, I envision Trump being much more like the character from Better Off Dead: “Lane, I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years – I’m no dummy.”

    6. What happened to Deez Nuts? He was supposed to save us all.

      1. Are you saying you want Deez Nuts?

        1. Depends. Does it come with updog?

          1. Don’t bite.

    7. They could stop it with an all day WWF marathon come election day. Let’s see about those likely voters then.

      1. A special cage match featuring a new villain, Latino Deportado.

  2. 88) Top 5 Worst Concerts I’ve ever attended

    #1–I’ve mentioned before the awful Nirvana concert I attended in Atlanta in 1993 (or early ’94?) where somebody threw a bottle at Cobain and he stormed off the stage, only to come out 15 minutes later and play the rest of the show in a sullen and effort-lacking manner. Considering the high price of the tickets for even the nose-bleed seats I sat in, I’ll call that the worst concert I ever attended.

    #2?I visited my buddy in Dallas in I think ’95 and for some reason we went to see Steve Miller, who weighed approximately 900 pounds. The audience paid no attention whatsoever to the stage, every single person there apparently intent only on buying or selling drugs. Not that it mattered, since Miller played basically his greatest hits album, note for note. But I wonder why everybody bothered paying for the tickets?isn’t there anyplace else in Dallas to buy drugs?

    1. #3?Spin Doctors & Soul Asylum, ’93, Now I had seen the Spin Doctors at a club before they hit it big and that show was decent, but this was at an amphitheatre and man these two bands weren’t able to connect with the audience in any way. Plus I almost got in a fight with a drunk frat boy-type who spent the whole time hitting on some 14-year old girls and I still regret not punching him right in his big fat belly.

      #4?When I was in high school Hootie & the Blowfish used to come to my town in North Carolina and play the local club like every three months. I caught them one time, having no idea who they were (this was maybe ’91?) and they were so bad my friends and I basically heckled them the whole show. Actually, it was a pretty fun time, but no thanks to Hootie. And then a couple years later they started showing up on MTV playing all the same dumb songs they’d played when I’d seen them earlier.

      #5–Dave Matthew’s Band, ’93, You know, in retrospect, I saw a lot of bad music in the 90s. I think it’s because for a while there I would go see pretty much anything. So, yeah, this was pretty bad, but it was one of my first dates with the girl who would become my wife, and we left early and made out the rest of the evening, so really I should send Dave Matthews a thank you note or something for sucking so much.

      1. What the HELL, Sermon? Where did all that come from!??

        1. Was the Spin Doctors concert in Chicago? I ran out of money and found a $20 on the ground which I spent on beer. Hootie’s drummer is a cousin to a friend of mine. Drank with him once while I was at Western Michigan. Nice guy.

          1. Worst concert I attended was probably Incubus. They sucked. Best concert I’ve been to was Mumford & Sons. I know they’re not for everyone, but if you like their stuff they do a great job live. I also saw the Smithereens about 15 years ago at a little club in Roseville, MI and they were fantastic.

            1. The Protomen are awesome, if you’re into ass-kicking semi-Objectivist rock operas about Megaman.

            2. M&S has some great tracks for running.

            3. Wow, totally forgot about the Smithereens… I remember liking them quite a lot.

          2. It was in Nashville, TN.

      2. Dave Matthews Band sucked so hard that for a time they were employed as an emergency backup system for all vacuum distillation units at a major BP refinery.

        1. This sounds like something BP would do.

      3. Cobain played in a “sullen and effort-lacking manner.”

        How could you tell the difference?

        1. I bet Cobain was suffering from something.

      4. Re: DMB – I hate them. Somewhere in the 90’s, my then BF and I threw a party and I invited “normal” people I knew. One chick got super drunk before she came, brought her fag hag friend, puked a little in the tub, and kept pawing through the cds to find something she liked. And she wanted to listen to DMB.

        1. Preppy chicks had a weird, irrational cult around DMB when they first hit it big. This one gal I worked with in college got together for a while with an guy she knew from high school. They were nothing alike personality-wise, but I distinctly remember her telling one of our co-workers that one of the biggest reasons she was dating him was because he liked DMB.

      5. I saw the Village People. Their manager had just quit and reordered the track lineup on their tapes. Because every single one of their damn songs start the same way, they kept singing the wrong tune only to quit 30 seconds in and start over.

        It was actually pretty funny. That, and the gay 250lb biker with the assless chaps and a nametag that said Bucky who was standing next to me.

      6. The most disappointing show I saw was REM at MSG about 10-12 years ago. I know, I know, REM sucks anyway but at the time I really enjoyed their music.

        1. My REM experience was horrible. They weren’t allowed to play loudly and the opening act was heinous (The Throwing Muses)

        2. First, REM doesn’t suck or at least they didn’t suck for the first “college rock” portion of their career. Then, Michael Stipe got all socially conscious and well, they started to suck.

          1. Thery were fine until Stipe stopped mumbling.

            1. Yeah, I listen to their pre Green albums frequently.

              1. +1

                Saw them in an arena for Green. It was OK.

      7. White Lion, who were opening for AC/DC. WL pretty much got booed and harassed during their entire set… we all wanted to see the real band.

        And I’ll add any numerous local groups who definitely needed more practice, more originality (no, not another Dropkick Murphy’s rip-off!), and better singing.

        1. There were a bunch of awesome bands from Michigan/the Midwest back in the day. Pretty much the entire Touch n’ Go records label bands. I got more, but it’s early and i need some tea.

          1. oh I agree… I’m talking stuff I used to do live sound for… lots of punk bands that weren’t very good.

            1. Hey! I played drums in that band!

              We weren’t very good…

      8. Yep. That all sounds like total shit. The problem is, you went to bad concerts because all of those bands suck balls. Don’t know the remedy, but try not to go to concerts featuring this month’s MTV top promotion.

        Also, the black guy is not “Hootie”.

      9. I once saw BTO at a small venue that obviously had an electrical system that was not not fragile. Every 5 minutes the sound system would go dead as the fuses blew. I stuck around for most of the show just because the guys kept right on rocking instead of walking off the stage and even a really shitty BTO concert is still a pretty good concert.

    2. The Police a few years back was disappointing for me. They did a lousy rendition of Roxanne to boot. It was quite mad really.

      1. I’m not going to tolerate a climate of hatred for The Police.

        1. WAR ON THE POLICE!!!!!11!!

        2. You are on the wrong website internet.

    3. “””where somebody threw a bottle at Cobain and he stormed off the stage, only to come out 15 minutes later and play the rest of the show in a sullen and effort-lacking manner. “””

      Maybe if the audience had shown some spirit and grabbed the bottle thrower, skinned him alive and made him into a carpet for the stage, then Corbin might have been a little more cheerful.

      Remember people, good concerts require effort from everyone, not just the band.

    4. But I wonder why everybody bothered paying for the tickets?isn’t there anyplace else in Dallas to buy drugs?

      But concerts are like drug bazaars. You may have your weed dealers all lined up but if you don’t know any coke dealers or you don’t know where to find any MDMA or LSD. Events are a sort of risky, though often high yield hunting grounds. And the concert tickets were probably cheap enough to let the riff-raff in.

      1. This makes a lot of sense. Actually, I’ve seen plenty of drug-dealing at concerts, it was just unbelievably pervasive at this one. Maybe it was just the perfect combination of a big enough act to attract a lot of people, but music so out of date that no once actually cares.

      2. So a former co-worker I knew used to go to Dead shows just to make money. He’d sometimes go with no tickets, and only a little money. It was like the stock market to him. He’d go back and forth on the line re-selling drugs, (usually acid), making a little each time. If he had tickets, he’d sell those, then buy drugs, then re-sell those. He told me when people found out he wasn’t a Dead fan they’d get really pissed. But he made more in a weekend of “working” a Dead show than he would in a month or so.

        1. He told me when people found out he wasn’t a Dead fan they’d get really pissed.

          Cultural appropriation.

    5. Pink Floyd (1997 LTD)1994 or 1995 in Tempe, Arizona. I was way in the back of Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe It was April and becuase I was new to the desert I didn’t know that even though it was 80 degree during the day, it got cold at night. So I ended up buy 100 worth of concert t-shirts to stay warm. I didn’t have any weed.

      VS Pink Floyd (1987 LTD). 1988 in Hamburg, (West) Germany. I sat right in front of the control booth so perfect sound. I brought a cooler that me and my wife stood on so we could see above everyone’s head. I had just come from Amsterdam and had about 16 grams of 4 different kinds of hash. Best concert ever.

    6. Deep Purple in 1973 at Cornell. Terrible sound system, if anyone could tell. Just very loud and disturbing noise.

  3. The remains of Homo naledi, a previously unknown species of human ancestor, have been discovered in South Africa.

    They’re extinct? Losers!

    1. Gay marriage. Mostly Ape Jesus warned them, but they didn’t listen.

      1. Homo naledit.

      2. I heard it was Global Warming or maybe Climate Change that did them in.

  4. …Bernie Sanders now leads Hillary Clinton in Iowa for the first time in the 2016 race.

    Trump and Sanders. God bless the American poll respondent.

    1. How many are just fucking with the polls? Has to be a pretty good number.

      1. And is there an overrepresentation of people with land lines? Because my anecdotal impression is that Sanders supporters tend to skew white and elderly (and maybe even female).*

        *so much for Hillary’s natural constituency

        1. My anecdotal impression is that Sanders is strongly supported by union members. In my town, that means the ILWU. Bunch of commie fucks.

          1. The youth seem drawn to him too – and for the same reason.

        2. He’s got the votes of the ten cats crowd sewed up.

  5. The California Assembly has approved a right-to-die bill.

    Next up…obligation to die legislation.

    1. During National Suicide Prevention Week. Awesome timing.

  6. The California Assembly has approved a right-to-die bill.

    Of course. They want those exit taxes.

    1. But seriously, don’t you think that the natural progression of progressive policies is to make it so that once someone dies his estate automatically forfeits to the government, to do with as the state sees fit? Then there REALLY would be an incentive for politicians to have us die as soon as possible,,,

      1. Proscriptions for win. And the chilruns (well mostly the public sector unions, but the kidz too).

        1. As long as the kidz are up on their union dues.

          Otherwise, fuck the little scabs.

      2. Then there REALLY would be an incentive for politicians to have us die as soon as possible

        It depends. Certainly the state would want people to kick it at the point where they start living primarily off their wealth. But the bulk of the really wealthy are old people, because they’ve been saving up assets for 40 – 50 years. And there are some 70-80yr olds whose wealth continues to appreciate.

        So yeah, the incentive is to get people hooked on single payer medicine, and then fund the shit out of stuff that keeps relatively young people productive and totally defund anything that makes end-of-life care comfortable.

  7. Another day, another sexist microaggression that DEHUMANIZES ME!!!!


    Jesus, thank God for victims…

    1. as someone on the internet once said, the nice thing about rich white girl problems is that they aren’t actually problems at all.

      1. I enjoyed this mean-spirited comment:
        “aff Zickefoose ? NC State University
        I’m a 46 year old male and have also been a ‘victim’ of everything this sad pathetic girl gas described. It’s called life. Deal with it.”
        It reminded me of something my father or mother might say to me if I articulated something similar to what Ms. Dodge wrote.

        I hope Gale finds success and contentment or even happiness, yet I have the impression that she’s under several misapprehensions which have been inculcated in her by several others whom she trusts. I doubt she’ll read our comments here, but if she reads mine I hope she understands that I think it may benefit her to review her experiences as if they weren’t necessarily aggressive or oppressive attempts (even if unconsciousness ones) to prevent her from being taken seriously.

      2. A lot of them would be humble brags coming from men. Can you imagine a man writing that opening paragraph?

        I am apparently a conventionally attractive student-athlete at UNC-Chapel Hill. I grew into my ears a few years back. I have lighter eyes and darker skin, and with the exception of a bit of an eyebrow discrepancy, my face is generally symmetrical.

        Now, I understand the difference between sexual receptivity and proceptivity and why a man benefits differently from being attractive and knowing it. But attractiveness is only a problem for women in a culture that does not afford her the privilege of being selectively receptive?say, a society in which she’s sold off to be deflowered by the highest bidder, or her marriage is arranged in advance, or she’s taken captive in some desert hellhole and traded around a camp of militants. But she lives in a Western liberal democracy, thank God, so that paragraph comes off as nothing more than humble bragging her way out of having to acknowledge her privilege. Oh, sisters, it’s simply awful being this sexy and exotic. My heart bleeds for her.

        1. It’s a total humblebrag. “It’s so tough being this attractive and with body that’s in great shape. It’s so wrong to be talking about how hot I am, now let me describe my tight, form-fitting clothes.”

          1. UNC-CH can have this effect on women. With a 2/1 female/male ratio and an exceptionally attractive baseline anyway, there are a large, large number of extremely attractive and intelligent women running around.

            I didn’t know how good I had it when I was a student there. Carrying 5 extra pounds made a girl seem fat by comparison. So I totally believe her self-deprecating braggadocio. Being in that kind of competitive environment will do that. There were definitely girls who I turned down at the time that my older self would rate pretty highly. I suppose everything is relative, even attractiveness.

            The rest of her ideas are pretty vapid, but what do you expect from an undergrad?

        2. Oh, and this is right out of shitthatneverhappened.txt:

          I go to class. We are discussing Islam in modern society. I chime in. A neighbor, who identifies as male, leans over from across the aisle: “You can’t be pretty and smart.” He thinks he’s giving me a compliment. There is an awkward pause as he waits for me to meekly deny my sexuality. I do not comply. He turns away. I’m not sure he actually listened to anything I said.

          Bolded part just to show how absurd cultural Marxist social signaling has become.

          1. And assuming it even happened, a bumbling come-on reflects exactly one man’s timid attempt to make a pass at her which she wants to parlay into society’s belief that she cannot be pretty and smart. The compliment itself, in addition to being really awkward, doesn’t even suggest that the man believes she can’t be pretty and smart. It’s a tepid joke opener meant to elicit a positive reaction. So either she’s terribly dense and isn’t, in fact, pretty and smart, or she’s willfully obtuse.

            But I don’t think it happened in the first place.

    2. My scroll music today is this.

    3. I really hope that’s supposed to be satire. But unfortunately it might be serious.

      1. I fight others every single day to be taken seriously.

        I would start by not writing shitty op-eds.

      2. She keeps getting heavy loads. How can you not be concerned?

        1. She is kinda fine though… what privilege she must bear…

          1. But goddamn after actually READING that fucking “op-ed” she sounds like the most unpleasant robot ever…

      1. You say that like it means something.

        1. Would (bang her).

          1. Yes, that is literally what it means, but the joke here is that RBS (or you, for that matter) being willing to bang her means that she might have a vagina.

    4. I tell my dad I’m starting a nonprofit that redistributes collegiate athletic shoes.

      Wait, what? Is there really a market for someone’s stinky old sneakers?

      1. There is, for the major sports at big schools they get new shit all the time so some of the used shoes have minimal wear.

    5. You know it’s gonna be a doozy when the opening line is ‘I identify as female’ followed by a couple of other ‘identifies as male’.

      How do we know she’s not wearing the spandex around her head tightly?

      My God.

    6. You want some cheese with that whine, lady?

    7. I see she has wound collection all figured out.

    8. I identify as female.

      And I was done reading.

      1. To the extent it’s true, this is why she’s not taken seriously. Not because she’s attractive, but because she’s a shrill identity-obsessive harridan.

      2. I identify as female.

        And I was done reading.

        That was as far as I got too.

        1. You should read the whole thing. It was comedy gold. If it wasn’t actually parody, then it’s one of the most self obsessive pieces of ivory tower fluff I’ve ever read.

    9. I identify as female. I am apparently a conventionally attractive student-athlete at UNC-Chapel Hill. I grew into my ears a few years back. I have lighter eyes and darker skin, and with the exception of a bit of an eyebrow discrepancy, my face is generally symmetrical

      Look baby, when you are bent over the couch, I can’t see your ears. And I don’t identify as male. My cock identifies me as male.

      Seriously though, it sound like a HR minefield to get stuck working with this smug bitch.

  8. Two Boys, Age 5, Tunnel Out of Kindergarten to Go Buy a Jaguar

    Two five-year-old Russian boys used spades to dig their way out of their kindergarten and set off on a mission to buy a Jaguar sports car, Komsomolskaya Pravda daily reported Tuesday.

    The two boys disappeared as their group took part in a supervised walk in the grounds of the kindergarten in the city of Magnitogorsk in the Urals region, the tabloid reported.


    After reaching freedom, the boys walked two kilometres to a car showroom selling luxury cars.

    A female driver noticed the unaccompanied children and asked them what they were doing. They told her they had come from their kindergarten to buy a Jaguar but did not have any money.

    1. I suspect these boys will go on to do great things. Very resourceful and creative.

      1. Exactly, they are destined for greatness. Or at least an awesome story at their 25th reunion.

      2. Tell them to stay away from Vincent D’Onofrio.

    2. I Assume their parents are now in a gulag? Oh wait, that would only happen in America.

    3. Sounds like part of the origin story for a Russian supervillain. Stay tuned, folks…

      1. I say super*villain* rather than super*hero* because (a) they’re Russian, and (b) their first act upon escaping was to look for a luxury car, rather than, say, fighting criminals.

        1. How are you supposed to fight crime without a sweet ride? First things first, Eddie.

          1. Name a good guy superhero who uses a Jaguar.

            Aston Martin, yes. Batmobile, yes. Invisible airplane, yes. But a Jaguar? I dare you to find even one example.

            1. Well, there was Inspector Morse, you ignoramus.

              1. While she drove a Lotus in the original, what about her?


                1. That woman kick-started my libido back in the day

  9. A contest ensues to claim the most ridiculous objection. By Steve Chapman

    Stop right there. Why bother reading?

    Where’s the Richman follow-up?

    1. I didn’t even read that far.

      1. Is there a Postrel analogy with Michael Young?

  10. Toward a Unified Theory of the Cat Man

    Based on my research, a taxonomy of the cat man (cat bro?) could be as follows: married or in a committed relationship, has altruistic tendencies, and is, most likely, white. Only one guy admitted that having a cat gives him leverage with “the ladies”: “Inviting someone back to my place to ‘meet Miami’ [his cat] is a pretty convenient line. I think having a cat?a rescue cat, no less?is seen as endearing and cute. One cat makes me look good, but I think more than one cat would start to get weird.” Further, many of the men I spoke to were converted from dog men to cat men by a significant other, but their love for the species is no less pure. Bryan Woods, who was one of a dozen guys who responded to my highly scientific “cat questionnaire,” boasts that if his cat “was a human celebrity she’d be Rihanna.” Cat men, it seems, are just as “crazy” as their female counterparts.

    1. I am a man of cats, and i do not apologize to you or to any other! (mostly because of all the toxoplasmosis)

      1. You sounds like a cool cat, man!

    2. I thought Warty typified the cat man.

      1. Do not mock Warty’s cats. He is very, um, aggressive toward those that do.

        1. I wouldn’t dream of it.

      2. That’s Doctor Cat Man Warty to you.

    3. I let Mark Twain speak for me on the matter:

      Some people scorn a cat and think it not an essential; but the Clemens tribe are not of these.

      When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

      Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

      1. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

        +1 Cat People?

    4. My girlfriend came with two tuxedo cats. Aside from one chewing off my shoelaces on a few occasions they don’t bother me and I’ve grown to like them.

      Despite never having had a cat before.

      1. My girlfriend came with two tuxedo cats

        This speaks to your inadequacy as a man.

    5. Cats have one primary utility most other pets do not – they kill annoying rodents.

      1. Terriers and Dachshunds also kill annoying rodents.

        1. Terriers and Dachshunds are annoying rodents.

          /end sarcasm

          And dogs are more high-maitenance. I prefer animals that can be ignored most of the time.

          1. I prefer animals that are…less sociopathic.

            1. My FiL’s dachsund killed mice, rats, squirrels, rabbits, and groundhogs.

              He would then stand over the top of them and eat them.


          2. Terriers and Dachshunds are annoying rodents.

            Pretty much. They will kill rats and stuff, but in the absence of rats they will kill any object you have around that is roughly the size and texture of a rat.

      2. Mine kills bugs too.

    6. I actually own 2 of these creatures. They keep me on my claws

    7. Kitties have bellies and you can rub them. QED.

      1. You would not like this woman then:


        Nor do I think any of us would, regardless of our feelings on cats versus dogs…

      2. Some kitties. I had a cat that would entice people to rub her belly just so she could enjoy it for a few seconds and then claw the living shit out of your hand.

        1. That’s part of the fun, though.

          1. I always tried to warn people not to fall for it, but they always would because it was so damn cute. And then the peroxide and bandaids came out.

        2. Most cats show their bellies as an expression of trust, as in “I trust you not to touch my soft, vulnerable belly even if i flaunt it at you.” It’s a fundamental misunderstanding in human-cat relations that leads to a lot of insulted cats and bleeding humans. Compounding the issue is that some cats DO like having their bellies rubbed.

          1. Yeah, my cat love belly rubs. And she doesn’t care who’s giving them. Total belly slut.

            1. Really, the safest course of action is just to rub ALL the cat bellies until you find one who won’t exsanguinate you for doing so.

    8. I have a long-hair cat who I adore. But she’s totally unlike any other cat I’ve owned. She’s more like a dog in temperament, minus the annoying barking.

    9. “Inviting someone back to my place to ‘meet Miami’ [his cat dick] is a pretty convenient line.

      I think this would be much more convenient.

    10. Cat Man! Fighter of the Dog Man! Champion of the Twine

  11. The remains of Homo naledi, a previously unknown species of human ancestor, have been discovered in South Africa.

    An anagram of Denali. It’s all coming together.

    1. Are we sure they’re actually human ancestors and not just a dead-end branch of the family tree?


      2. That’s a good question. Seems like that would be hard to know for sure without a whole lot of research.

        1. That article has a few other pieces of bullshit. The author said ;

          The team is calling this new species of human relative “Homo naledi,” and they say it appears to have buried its dead — a behavior scientists previously thought was limited to humans.

          No actually, scientists did not previously think that since several other hominid species have made graves and filled them with personal items of the deceased and this has been known for well over a decade. And I’m sure in each of those instances an article was written by some science “journalist” who claims it’s the “FIRST FIND OF IT”S KIND! CLICK HERE, CLICK HERE NOW!!!!!!”

          1. Yeah, most science journalism sucks. we’ve known for some time that Neanderthals and some others did stuff like that. I did see something earlier where someone (I think one of the scientists involved) did clarify that some other early human species did it too. I guess this new species had much smaller brains than modern humans or Neanderthal, so it is still interesting that they appear to have had some kind of burial ritual. I don’t think that they have found any others that primitive who did that.

            1. The worst science journalism of course belongs to the field of climatology, but next runners up are biology, anthropology and astronomy. I’ve lost count of the number of times I click a link to an article about the FIRST EARTH LIKE PLANET OUTSIDE OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM OMG!!! Then you click on it and it says the planet could be in the habitable zone, and they know nothing about it other than it’s so huge that life on it is unlikely and the planetary conditions remain almost a complete mystery. And then I wait til next month when the next first earth-like exoplanet that isn’t earth-like at all, is discovered.

        2. There are supposedly hundreds of skeletons in the chamber. I didn’t see how old they estimate them to be, but it seems like obtaining DNA is a possibility.

    2. An anagram of Denali. It’s all coming together.


      1. It was called Homo clinkmey before Obama changed it.

  12. I love the Victorian era. So I decided to live in it.

    We live in a world that can be terribly hostile to difference of any sort. Societies are rife with bullies who attack nonconformists of any stripe. Gabriel’s workout clothes were copied from the racing outfit of a Victorian cyclist, and when he goes swimming, his hand-knit wool swim trunks raise more than a few eyebrows ? but this is just the least of the abuse we’ve taken. We have been called “freaks,” “bizarre,” and an endless slew of far worse insults. We’ve received hate mail telling us to get out of town and repeating the word “kill … kill … kill.” Every time I leave home I have to constantly be on guard against people who try to paw at and grope me. Dealing with all these things and not being ground down by them, not letting other people’s hostile ignorance rob us of the joy we find in this life ? that is the hard part. By comparison, wearing a Victorian corset is the easiest thing in the world.

    This is why more people don’t follow their dreams: They know the world is a cruel place for anyone who doesn’t fit into the dominant culture. Most people fear the bullies so much that they knuckle under simply to be left alone. In the process, they crush their own dreams.

    1. Salon response:

      Victorian-lifestyle hipsters unleash “Masterpiece Theater”-level trolling on tech-tethered readers

      And when she talks about how much she’s always “admired Victorian ideals and aesthetics,” I question how great that time was for those individuals who risked imprisonment because of their sexual orientation, or exclusion because their race. Wouldn’t want to be an immigrant orphan living in a tenement either, I’d wager. The good old days probably weren’t so hot for people who didn’t have the means to blog about it.

      If you’re into wearing corsets and writing with a fountain pen, God bless. If you’re romanticizing an era in which more than half the children born in American cities would die before their fifth birthdays, people on the Internet are probably going to go ahead and make jokes about whether you “love polio.” And if Chrisman wants to wave her freak flag, I’ll support her right to do it ? but I sure hope she got her husband’s permission first.

      1. And on the third hand, the Victorians didn’t have to put up with Social Justice Warriors or crippling debt from poorly designed and implemented social welfare schemes.

        1. Victorians didn’t have to put up with Social Justice Warriors

          Or at least the ones they did have to put up with had actual injustices to fight.

        2. Sufferagettes and Prohibitionists

          They had their own versions of SJW’s back in the day

          1. They even called themselves “progressives” back then.

      2. Yeah, when I come across someone with a fun hobby involving history, I like to spend a few minutes reminding them how much life sucked then and implying they’re probably racist and sexist for founding something admirable about their preferred era.

        1. So, you’re saying I shouldn’t buy a Brown Bess flintlock and dress up in colonial garb, and take pot shots at lobsterbacks from behind trees and stone walls?

        2. Or head back to the pre-colonial times and live off the land and in harmony like Native Americans?

          1. live off the land and in harmony like Native Americans?

            You say this like it is a bad thing.

            1. You say this like it is a bad thing.

              Except for the short life span, constant fighting with neighbors over food, water, and females, disease, rotting teeth, winter in teepees or long houses, etc. etc. but yeah sure, it’d be great.

              1. Notice I left off the “pre-Colonial times” in my comment. But more to the point, living off the land and in harmony with it today is, to me, the best way to live. It isn’t for everyone and not everyone has the capability to do so, but the more nature you get, the better.

          2. I’m a rambler, I’m a gamboler, I’m a long way from home…

        3. As long as they don’t insist that it’s how everyone should live, I say good for them. I don’t know why people have to be such assholes about other people’s interests and peculiarities.

      3. They know they’re being trolled and proceed to fall for it anyway?! Oh Salon, don’t ever change.

      4. Can’t the cultural artifacts of an era be interesting and even worthy of emulation by themselves without all the baggage? Okay, sure, maybe donning an SS uniform and goosestepping around town is a little bit suggestive of underlying pathologies, but simply enjoying the trappings of an earlier society without prevailing on others to abide by your conceit is eccentric but ultimately harmless. Right? Or does literally everything have to be pushed through the hand-cranked sausage stuffer of identity politics until we’re all uniformly bland and a little bit disgusting?

        I quite like English colonialism. I like the adventure novels written about the era. I obsessively read James Clavell’s novels when I was young. I still pick up Shogun now and again.

    2. By boasting about this in a left-wing publication, she’s officially the second-greatest greatest troll in the history of trolling, next only to the troll in the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

  13. “A former Cook County Sheriff’s Department officer has pleaded guilty to robbing drug dealers and re-selling their drugs to make a profit, officials said.”


    Moron. You’re supposed to let them sell the drugs, THEN rob them and steal the money. Then you’ll be a hero.

  14. Trump vs Sanders. Yuck.

    Bush vs Clinton. Banana Republic.

    1. Trump vs. Biden – Comedy GOLD

  15. Private detective hired to follow man’s wife finds her having sex with his OWN teenage son

    A husband who hired a private detective to follow his wife found out she was having sex with the investigator’s own teenage son.

    Dance teacher Amber Telford, 33, romped with the 17-year-old student in her studio as well as in her car and at her mum’s house.

    But the illicit affair was uncovered when the private detective hired by her estranged husband caught the pair together at the dance studio.

    1. Now that is a mindfuck.

    2. Meh. The husband probably knew the detective from their dance studio, where the dick’s son was apparently somehow affiliated. My question is, what’s the age of consent in Utah? A 17-year-old isn’t a victim when he’s tapping that.

      1. AMEN!!!

      2. The court also ordered her to perform 150 hours of community service, complete probation and register as a sex offender.

        17 seems, I don’t know… okay? Especially for a teenage male and an older woman.

        1. When you were seventeen could you ever have seen nailing a pre-cougar or even a cougar or really anyone as you being victimized?

          1. Around sixteen or seventeen I wondered whether I’d have to start being gay if I didn’t get laid soon.


    3. Is she ho…never mind. Googles ‘Amber Telford’…

        1. …I’M NOT DONE.

        2. There is a severe “selfie” to “mushot” dropoff.

          But at 17, yeah. I would have banged her like a screen door in a hurricane.

          1. (Reposted since you didn’t RTFA.)

            1. Getting to the pics was too much work.

          2. “Severe dropoff”

            For anyone who hasn’t clicked yet, ONLY LOOK AT THE FIRST PICTURE. Fantasy ruined.

            1. At the Daily Mail, you can see she still has a dancer’s body.

              The age of consent in Utah is 16 for girls and 18 for guys, because everything is creepier in Utah. As Stanhope said, I’m tired of these dreammakers getting locked up.

      1. god love the daily mail. I don’t know why anybody bothers with the mirror.

        Telford lists herself as a ‘former NuSkin Jazz Dancer at Utah Jazz’ (pictured, Utah Jazz dancers in a file photo. Telford is not among them)

    4. The only comment I have on this UK Mirror story is that apparently cosmetics are witchcraft.

      The two pictures appear to be of completely different women, yet are supposed to be one pic with makeup and the other without.

      1. The Daily Mail’s version has better pictures, with the addition of a goofy pic of her husband.

    5. Seventeen getting with a dancing instructor?


  16. A former Cook County Sheriff’s Department officer has pleaded guilty to robbing drug dealers and re-selling their drugs to make a profit, officials said.

    Corruption in Chicago? Next you’ll be telling me there’s voter fraud in Venezuela.

    1. The asset forfeiture was fine, but he didn’t share. And selling drugs? He would have been fine if he had just beat the shit out of the dealers or simply shot them. You can’t deal drugs no matter who you are.

    2. Robert Vaughan, 44, admitted that he robbed eight drug dealers between 2011 and 2013 along with two other law enforcement officers while on duty, according to his written plea agreement. The trio shared a total profit of $300,000 during that time.

      So is there a newspaper that might find it newsworthy to report on the other two cops?

    3. Corruption in Chicago? Next you’ll be telling me there’s voter fraud in Venezuela Chicago.


  17. Exclusive: 50 Spies Say ISIS Intelligence Was Cooked

    More than 50 intelligence analysts working out of the U.S. military’s Central Command have formally complained that their reports on ISIS and al Qaeda’s branch in Syria were being inappropriately altered by senior officials, The Daily Beast has learned.

    The complaints spurred the Pentagon’s inspector general to open an investigation into the alleged manipulation of intelligence. The fact that so many people complained suggests there are deep-rooted, systemic problems in how the U.S. military command charged with the war against the self-proclaimed Islamic State assesses intelligence.

    “The cancer was within the senior level of the intelligence command,” one defense official said.

    1. Yeah. That’s not good.

      1. Not good at all.

      2. Oh stop, Rufus. All that matters is the Sun King be told everything he wants to hear, and all his colonels get promoted to general.

    2. “Se?or Level of Intelligence Command”? I KNEW IT! It’s those goddamn Mexicans!

      1. Maybe he can bake ISIS a cake, or something.

  18. Italian chess tournament ejects player for Morse code cheating

    IMPERIA, Italy, Sept. 9 (UPI) — Officials with a prestigious chess tournament in Italy said a player was expelled for allegedly using a hidden camera and Morse code to cheat at games.

    Organizers of the International Chess Festival of Imperia said referees became suspicious when Arcangelo Ricciardi, ranked 51,366th in the world, started winning games against players with far higher rankings.

    Referee Jean Coqueraut said he noticed Ricciardi holding his hand under his armpit and blinking in an unusual pattern.

    1. Pro Football and now this? Is nothing sacred?

    2. -.– -.– –..

      1. .– – ..-. ..–..

    3. He was merely concentrating on new ways to make armpit farts.

  19. “A former Cook County Sheriff’s Department officer has pleaded guilty to robbing drug dealers and re-selling their drugs to make a profit, officials said.”

    Was it Omar Sherrif?

  20. Cambridge Company Says Live Bacteria Spray Will Keep You Clean

    BOSTON (CBS) ? You’ve heard of taking probiotics for a healthy gut, but what about literally spraying live bacteria on your skin? As Dr. Mallika Marshall reports, a local company thinks it’s a good idea for overall health, and plans to prove it.

    “I have not taken a shower in over 12 years,” says Dave Whitlock, a chemical engineer and MIT grad who says he doesn’t miss bathing at all. “No one did clinical trials on people taking showers every day. So what’s the basis for assuming that that is a healthy practice.”

    1. Nice going, Whitlock, way to help out the image of the ChE profession.

      1. This is the basic difference between chemists and ChemEs. Besides the IQ points.

      2. The best part is that you knew exactly what he looked like before you clicked the link.

        1. Wait… he looks like ME. Agggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

          1. Weird, i just assumed that was what shriek looked like.

    2. “I have not taken a shower in over 12 years,”

      He must be real popular at parties.

      1. ChE. Probably not significantly less popular.

        1. Yeah, pretty much. We party at least as hard as we work.

        2. Mao. He was popular with one party.

      2. And when he rides the bus, he must have a lot of seats to relax around him.

    3. “No one did clinical trials on people taking showers every day. So what’s the basis for assuming that that is a healthy practice.”

      Translated: “I stink…is that so wrong?”

    4. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anybody say they take showers for their health. They take them so they won’t stink. I’m pretty sure why don’t need to do clinical trials to determine that people who don’t take showers smell worse.

      1. I take showers because if I don’t, I feel really greasy and sticky and I hate that feeling.

    5. Why is it always the creepiest looking guys that are involved in things like this? Can’t they get a somewhat normal looking person that’s involved and advocating this “no bathing” thing?

  21. You know who else…

    Far-right Czech politician recommends placing refugees in concentration camp

    Police in the Czech Republic are investigating comments made on Facebook by an extremist politician calling for refugees to be placed in Terezin, the former Nazi concentration camp.

    Adam Bartos, the leader of the fringe yet vocal far-right nationalist National Democracy Party, published the comments about the site, located in the central European country, on Monday.

    Reacting to the establishment of a refugee camp near the country’s border with Slovakia, Bartos wrote, “Why build tent camps for the aliens? We have the beautiful fortress town of Terezin where the aliens could concentrate before they are taken home by trains.”

    1. Why are they called concentration camps? Is it because people are more focused in them? Why not call them condensed camps?

      /Seinfeld losing his touch.

  22. Charting the Markets: Global Stock Rally Grinds to a Halt

    The three-day rise in global stocks is over as China’s economic slowdown and next week’s Federal Reserve meeting vex investors once again. After the biggest one-day rise in six years on Wednesday, the MSCI Asia Pacific Index dropped as much as 2.4 percent after Chinese producer prices sunk the most since 2009. The Shanghai Composite Index fell 1.4 percent after a two-day, 5.3 percent gain. Brazil cast a shadow over emerging market currencies after its credit rating was cut to junk by Standard & Poor’s.

    1. Every bubble runs out of air. Interest rates are already at zero so the only thing left is flooding the capital markets with tons of worthless paper in an attempt to prop up asset prices. This will all be in vain, of course, and will leave everyone significantly poorer for the experience, except, of course, the idiots in DC.

      1. Correction:

        Everyone is already poorer than they think they are, the market just hasn’t corrected to reveal what their assets are really worth yet.

    2. This is getting bad. Optimism is keeping the market afloat, and no one panics worse than an optimist who loses faith.

      1. It’ll get even more bad/interesting when the government starts to panic about it.

        *places online order for lots of .45 ACP, .40 SW, and .357 Sig ammo*

        1. Yes. My investment strategy is also long on lead and brass.

          1. BUILD YOUR OWN, BOYS!!!

            Check out 80% arms.com…

          2. My investment strategy is long on single-malt scotch.

            It has most of the characteristics of good money and then some. It’s a store of value, it’s readily recognized for its quality, it’s fairly uniform, it doesn’t spoil, and it’s generally acceptable.

            It’s really better than money because, if the benefits of technology advances outpace the stupidity and greed of central banks and political cronies, I can always drink it.

  23. Woman discovers ‘boyfriend’ of two years is woman when she removes blindfold during sex

    A woman told police of her disbelief when she discovered that her “boyfriend” of two years was a female friend, a jury has heard.

    The complainant said she thought she was having sex with a man called Kye Fortune, who was recovering from a brain tumour and did not want her to see his scars.

    But she claims she eventually discovered it was in fact her 25-year-old friend Gayle Newland, who had persuaded her to wear a blindfold throughout their sexual encounters in which a prosthetic was used.

    1. This was a pretty good movie, but I think I liked her better in Million Dollar Baby.

    2. There really should be a legal principle wherein someone can be judged just too stupid to be raped.

      1. What if she identify’s as a man, but only during sex? Shouldn’t we respect that? What are you some kind of shitlord?

        1. Two years of sex and she never touched “his” “penis.” She can’t tell the difference between and strap-on and a meat-based dick?

          Too dumb to be raped. It’s the only way.

          1. Two years of frequent telephone conversations during which the friend pretended to be recovering from a traumatic car accident followed by diagnosis with a brain tumor. It seems they were only intimate twice.

            1. I stand by my assessment of her mental deficiency.

              1. Oh, no doubt. Being lured into the scenario, let alone consummating it, is pretty feckless.

    3. That chicks the man baby. No not quite right, That man is the chick baby.

  24. I have uploaded a new version of fascr, my H&R-enhancing extension for Firefox.

    I have added HTML tag buttons (see the homepage for an ultra-quick rundown of what they do if you’re confused), inline alt text, and a new “mode” for marking posts as read:

    The “classic” behavior of fascr and its Chrome equivalent reasonable is to treat all comments as unread when an article is first viewed, and thereafter, to mark them as read upon its next viewing. This is still the default behavior, and logical for most Android devices, which usually lack keyboards.

    This behavior is straightforward and easy to implement, but irritating if you would like reply to a comment midway through reviewing the unread comments.

    I have implemented a new behavior which can be enabled by selecting “Mark individual post as read when reached via hotkey” as the value of the option “Unread post tracking behavior”.

    With this option enabled, posts made after the first time you view an article will not be marked as read until you either reach them via hotkeys (as a reminder, shift-alt-j to move forwards and shift-alt-k to move backwards) or mark all as read at once using shift-alt-m — even if you comment or refresh.

    This way, you will never “lose your place” by making a comment.

    I’ve removed sync. It didn’t work well, couldn’t work across desktop and Android, and doesn’t jive well with the new “system” for marking posts as read.

    1. Does this version work with palemoon? I have to give up on firefox because they kept forcing stupid (first as the default, then as the mandatory). I have one of the older versions working in palemoon now.

      1. Maybe, maybe not — just try it out in a test profile and see what happens, I guess. I haven’t tested it and don’t intend to, because I am “against” Palemoon for reasons outside the scope of this discussion.

        1. The test results say no, it’s not compatable.

          I’ve had many a lively debate about the various reasons to dislike any given browser, but the deal breaker is always attempting to change my workflow to what the designers feel is a “better” way. I know what I like and I shouldn’t have to install an add-in just to keep the tabs where they belong.

    2. fascar / Firefox continues to work, even with the https

  25. Spot the Not: what happens when you answer “no” to the question “are you 21?” on beer websites

    1. nothing because you are not asked your age

    2. you are sent to a “let me google that for you page” for sparkling juice

    3. you are advised to ask your dad to view the site and describe it to you

    4. you are sent to a page about preventing underage drinking

    5. you are sent to a video of an old timey educational film entitled “Act Your Age”

    6. you are called an idiot for not lying and shown the Far Side cartoon about the school for the gifted

    1. Guess 4…wish it would be 6.

    2. 6 is the Not. The rest in order are Big Sky Brewing, Founders, Newcastle, Guinness, and Lagunitas.

      I found one last year that redirected underage users to a kid’s astronomy page. Can’t remember which brewery it was.

  26. This is a few days old but I don’t remember this being mentioned:

    The toxic racial imagery in Fear the Walking Dead — and why Black Lives Matter on TV too

    We–people of color, and black people in particular–are this country’s zombies. We are the horrifying shadow suburbia is afraid will slip through the window at night. We are the reason for the U.S. history of stockpiling guns, dating back to fears of slave rebellions. Terror over the nation’s “browning” make us the shambling masses who drive people to lock their doors and fantasize about barricades and sudden flight. It’s not true for all of us who love zombies, obviously, and it’s usually not conscious–but it’s the simmering social subtext.


    The first character killed off was black. Not just black–but a black drug dealer. And a weak black drug dealer who is fought off by his jonesing white client. So, yes, from the very start, the show has introduced an ineffectual black thug as the first zombie to die. A thug’s black body laid out on the street. (As a culture, that’s how we like men’s black bodies: laid out dead on the street.)

    But it doesn’t stop there, oh no.

    Episode 1 also managed to throw in a good old-fashioned black man jump scare with the school principal, a la the weak Candyman sequels.

    1. I actually feel bad for people whose lives are that eaten up by bitter, paranoid identity politics.

    2. “it’s usually not conscious–but it’s the simmering social subtext.”

      He took the usual precaution of making his racism accusations largely unfalsifiable.

      I mean, how can you rebut charges that you are guilty of social-subtext-y, unconscious racism?

    3. Aren’t like 100% of all the zombies in The Walking Dead white, even though it takes place in 40% black Georgia? And of course the show that takes place in fucking LA is going to have majority black and Hispanic zombies, you idiot, for the same reason Resident Evil 5 (which took place in Africa!) had black zombies.

      Of course, that got called racist too.

    4. As a culture, that’s how we like men’s black bodies: laid out dead on the street

      That is how I like my social justice warriors, laid out dead on the street. Just north of the mass grave full of the Salon.com staff.

      1. *warning: juvenile bluster*

    5. The first people to die are all the people in the shooting gallery. Mostly white.

      The first zombie to die is the junkie’s girlfriend. Again, white.

      The next people to die are the accident victim and the paramedic. Again, white

      And the one white zombie dies right after that and his redeath is the subject of the viral video–“kill shot”.

      The staggering background might be zombies are too out of focus to tell their race.

      Finally we get to the dealer. At the very end. Last of the people to die on this episode. Not first. Not at all

      And it’s a ‘is he a zombie already?’ jump scare. We could see that he was the same guy that was playing the principal so his being black was already established and not scary.

  27. iPhone case is a stun gun

    I get asked to test out new gadgets all the time. Whether at home or on the go, I’m constantly evaluating whether the latest “must-have” device can actually measure up in real life. Some are genius. Some are ridiculous. And some, like the new Yellow Jacket iPhone case, are just plain shocking.

    The Yellow Jacket looks like any other durable, hard-plastic protective case. It can also recharge a quickly draining iPhone battery ? adding at least one full re-charge on the go. But what’s really interesting ? is that the Yellow Jacket moonlights as 650,000-volt stun gun.

  28. Selfie-shooting driver gets canoe through the windshield

    A Florida man using a selfie stick to film himself while driving his Jeep recorded the moment he rear-ended another vehicle and got a canoe through his windshield.

    Alex Lopatnyuk’s YouTube video shows him driving his Jeep down a dirt road while using his GoPro camera to film himself from outside the window of the vehicle with a selfie stick.

    Lopatnyuk is momentarily distracted by the camera and rear-ends the pickup truck in front of him, sending the canoe tied to the back of the truck through his windshield.

  29. America owns this nightmare: Everything Thomas Friedman and the media gets wrong about the migrant crisis
    The refugee disaster unfolding across Europe is the result of decades — even centuries — of Western policies

    It is not that the West, or America in particular, is responsible for everything that befalls our awful world. Readers sometimes make it known that they assume this to be the ruling view in this column. But they are grossly unfair and must be corrected: The West, and American in particular, is responsible for almost everything now going wrong across the planet. This is no kind of default political position. It is a detached observation?the kind most Americans dread most.

    There is not much case for objecting to this thought. Since Columbus hit the rocks in Hispaniola, and da Gama anchored off the Malabar Coast six years later, the West has insisted on leading all the rest. By and large, the world as we have it?defiled, disorderly, violent?is our world. We Westerners have known best for half a millennium, and our leaders do not take orders?or even suggestions?from anybody. Whatever you see out your window or across any ocean is the doing of those we are content to leave in charge.

    tw: salon

    1. I am certain that the Congo would be a peaceful nation today if it hadn’t been for those damn Belgians.

      1. Oh I’m sure the Norwegians had something to do with it.

        A Belgian-Norwegian alliance is pure evil.

        And Jews.

    2. It’s not the result of decades of western policies, it’s the result of two policies – bombing Libya and stoking the continuation of civil war in Syria by aiding rebels. Unfortunately, if they acknowledged this they’d have to admit it’s almost entirely the fault of the Obama Administration and the Euro-socialists, so it’s better to blame it on Columbus.

      1. Add the Iraq War to that. Then factor in the open borders and promises of welfare checks in Europe and you have a perfect storm.

    3. the West has insisted on leading all the rest

      The world would be so much better if we just let ____________ take charge.

  30. Emasculated white men love Donald Trump: The real reason a billionaire bozo rules the GOP
    Trump’s rise is directly related to a certain white male limpness — and their fear of a female president

    To him, the real opponent is Hillary. And, paradoxically, the better he manages to define her ? instinctively and almost imperceptibly ? without ever really talking about her, the more successful he will be in the end.

    In a nutshell: Trump will loom large just as long as Hillary Clinton does. Trump and Clinton are the conjoined twins of American politics ? and of the 2016 presidential race.

    Trump, as a phenomenon (rather than as a mere presidential candidate), is a direct reflection of a profound nationwide fear among white men. The rise of Trump shows just how elemental the worries about seeing Hillary in the White House are among that set. Hillary Clinton symbolizes just about everything that has “old-school” American men ? and there are many of those ? afraid.

    1. So the premise is girly men love Trump, whereas macho, macho men love Clinton?

      That doesn’t pass the laugh test.

    2. I know it’s Salon, but maybe the stopped clock is right… I mean, there is some twisted shit going on behind jumping straight to “cuckhold” as an insult. Projection isn’t only in movie theaters.

      1. cuckhold… now that’s funny

        1. Derp. That’s how I thought it was spelled. Makes more sense, really.

          1. I thought it was intentional… since it does make sense.

      2. If it’s “cuckhold”, then sounds like maybe it’s a stopped cock that’s right….if ya know what I’m sayin’…

    3. “So, will you vote for Hillary, or are you a sexist?”

      This sort of thing won’t stop with Trump.

      It will keep going until (God willing) the donors bail on her and throw their support behind Biden instead.

      1. “So, will you vote for Hillary, or are you a sexist?”

        I don’t know, will you vote for Carly Fiorina, or are you sexist?

        1. I’m voting for Ben Carson because I’m not a racist – along with the 92% of blacks who will of course be voting for the black guy. I am assuming any Democrat who doesn’t support Carson we free to accuse of racism?

    4. Emasculated white men love Donald Trump

      They really have their finger on the pulse of their core readership, don’t they.

  31. In today’s edition of mysterious coincidences:

    Hennepin County taxpayers will see bigger bills for 2016

    County Budget Director Dave Lawless said the budget reflected the need for catching up in some areas where spending was deferred during the recession that struck in 2008. Notable among those is an increase in Human Services staffing, especially in child protective services.

    County Board Chair Jan Callison said the higher percentage increase is a concern because “it’s going to have an impact on residents and business,” but she said the demands for services are “pretty strong.”

    Among those demands will be county employee salary increases. “We need to pay them their value,” she said.

    1. What have our glorious county employees been doing to warrant these raises?

      Well how about getting bilked for $300K by a bunch of old coots in running shorts?

      We hosted something called the Senior Games (eat your heart out all you other cities) and somehow didn’t get paid.

      Local organizers of the massive 50-plus sports festival have not paid the city about $303,000 for use of the Convention Center, a payment that was due Aug. 21, city officials said Wednesday. All that has been paid is a $5,000 down payment from before the gathering, which is very rare for a large event at the Convention Center.

      Wait, not only did they not pay their bill, but it seems our govt employees actually gave them money without voting on it too.

      The taxpayer-supported convention bureau contributed some money to the event, though Meet Minneapolis spokeswoman Kristen Montag said the amount is “competitive information” and would not reveal it. The board did not vote on the contribution.

      I’m shocked that somehow a prestigious sporting event did not actually end up being a gold mine for the city.

    2. Another wonderful use of our tax money was to sign a $1.2Million dollar contract with a publisher of racist kids books.

      The district paid Reading Horizons $1.2 million for a new reading curriculum for kindergarten through third grade. The books were a tool teachers could use to reinforce reading lessons, but top administrators say they never thoroughly reviewed the content. When teachers gotthe books, they found an illustration of an American Indian girl titled “Nieko the Hunting Girl,” and another with a black girl called “Lazy Lucy.” The books also referenced Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America, a historical milestone no longer taught in many schools.


      Now in fairness, I am having a hard time spotting the racism in having a book about a native american girl who hunts. Or celebrating Chris Columbus. I sort of get that Lazy Lucy is a bad idea given our history.

      1. They were published in 2012 and sold to various districts across the country, without similar complaints.

      2. It was very minority-affirming – how about the story, Moishe the Clever Jew who took over the World?

      3. “”Nieko the Hunting Girl,” and another with a black girl called “Lazy Lucy.””

        Without seeing these books I question how either of these are racist. Are you not allowed to have a lazy black person in a book anymore to teach kids that laziness is bad? There are plenty of books with lazy white people meant to teach the same lesson.

        Basically, a black person is no longer allowed to have any negative characteristics as that is taken to be an insult to all black people.

      4. The books also referenced Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America, a historical milestone no longer taught in many schools.

        He was sent down the Memory Hole some time ago. MinTruth will be all over this.

        1. Back when my kids were young, their homeschool coop took off for Columbus Day. One of their suburban government-school, 4th grade friends asked them, “What is Columbus Day? Is it kind of like Martin Luther King Day?”

          He did had no idea of who Columbus was.

    3. “We need to pay them their value,” she said.

      Since that would result in pay cuts, she might want to re-phrase that.

  32. What’s the firefox add-on I need to replace chrome’s Reasonable?

    1. see above: fascr

      1. I will add that once you download the add-on, it will have to be manually added.

        1. The homepage, which no one ever reads, has manual install instructions.

            1. I’m not sure if that is a mocking crying noise or an expression of befuddlement.

              If the former, my statement was supposed to come off as more defeated than combative.

              If the latter:



              Download the XPI file
              Open the Add-ons menu in Firefox (click the “hamburger menu” [the three horizontal lines in the upper right] to reveal the button to access it)
              Next to the box that says “Search all add-ons”, there is a button with a gear icon. Click it.
              Click “Install Add-on From File…”
              Select the XPI file you downloaded.
              Click “Install”

              1. should have been a sarcastic waht? Meaning who reads the manual?

                1. Good people do, LH. Good people.

    2. CTRL-F for fascr; I have announced a new version above.

  33. New species of human found in Africa

    A trove of bones hidden deep within a South African cave represents a new species of human ancestor, scientists announced Thursday in the journal eLife. Homo naledi, as they call it, appears very primitive in some respects?it had a tiny brain, for instance, and apelike shoulders for climbing. But in other ways it looks remarkably like modern humans. When did it live? Where does it fit in the human family tree? And how did its bones get into the deepest hidden chamber of the cave?could such a primitive creature have been disposing of its dead intentionally?

    This is the story of one of the greatest fossil discoveries of the past half century, and of what it might mean for our understanding of human evolution.


    1. “And how did its bones get into the deepest hidden chamber of the cave”

      Attempting to escape the 24/7 coverage of Homo Trumpicanus on Savannah News Network?

      1. /Trump Voice on

        Resistance is futile!! I am omnipresent! I am everything!! I am ‘UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!

        /Trump Voice off

    2. And how did its bones get into the deepest hidden chamber of the cave?could such a primitive creature have been disposing of its dead intentionally?

      It could have been hiding down there watching naledi internet porn on its naledi computer. Wouldn’t that be a far more interesting discovery and just as logical a guess? You’ve only found one of these things and you found it down in a deep cave sheltered from the elements for millions of years – how many have you not found because they weren’t in a deep cave sheltered from the elements for millions of years? It may just have been a one-in-a-million chance that this body wound up down in a cave, but do you know how often one-in-a-million events occur and how common they are in a world where billions of events take place every single day?

      1. They found a crapload of them.

  34. Trump Support Reaches 32%, California Assembly Passes Right-to-Die Bill

    I thought these might be related….

    1. 32% is the gas tax here, yankee.

  35. Someone is shooting at motorists on I-10 outside Phoenix

    The shootings along a busy stretch of Interstate 10 in Phoenix started Aug. 29, when a bullet from out of nowhere struck an SUV, shattering glass, which injured 13-year old girl riding in it. On that same day, along the same stretch of road, someone fired at a bus, fortunately empty except for the driver, who was not injured.

    But bullet holes were found in some of the seats of the bus. That night, about 10, yet another car was hit, again, with no injuries.

    By Tuesday this week, there had been 6 more similar incidents and no arrests or suspects, prompting Col. Frank Milstead of the Arizona Department of Public Safety to hold a news conference calling the attacks “domestic terrorism” and offering a $20,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the “person or persons” responsible.

    While the police press release described “ten shooting incidents,” they seemed uncertain whether all involved bullets, describing some of the vehicles as being hit by “projectiles,” suggesting that they had not recovered in all cases whatever it was that made the holes.

    Sheesh, lucky this guy is a lousy shot.

    1. Probably a right-wing, Confederate-flag-lovin’, ratbagging, teafucking cis-rethuglihadist.

      Or a cop

      1. Based on the marksmanship I would go with the latter.

    2. He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!

      1. +1 Pizza in a Cup

    3. I’ll just remind myself of the Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect until we see what these ‘projectiles’ look like.

    1. If you vote for him, he will release a program that actually uninstalls all the remnants of the antivirus suite that bears his name from your Windows computer.

    2. When I’m voting for President, I want to vote for the totally insane badass.

      Possible campaign slogans?

      Antivirus in every garage!

      Dead hookers? What dead hookers?

  36. So, someone I know, who also happens to be driving the Obamacare bandwagon, just realized that her Obamacare dental plan requires something like a 12 month waiting period for some procedure she needs. Naturally she blames her former employer for this and still thinks Obamacare is the greatest thing ever.

    1. I was watching ‘The Changeling’ (with George C. Scott) on youtube and did the mistake of scrolling down to the comments. Follow one ‘Ken W. Simpson’. Enjoy his sparkling ruminations. Or not.

      That’s your average progressive in all their glory.

  37. Over at Popehat, Ken White has a lovely rant at people who think the law should treat plaintiffs differently based on gender or skin color.

    OMG! Broad, Flexible, Plaintiff-Friendly Law Used In Unanticipated Manner!

    Here’s the thing: if you only wake up to how broken the system is when it’s abused by one of your ideological enemies, you’re a vapid partisan hack. The legal system ? including, but not “only” or “especially” civil rights laws ? is a tool of extortion, deceit, and thuggery. I’ve seen nothing in my 21 years as a lawyer to make me think that civil rights plaintiffs are any more likely than other plaintiffs to abuse the system. But some laws lend themselves to abuse ? like laws that are deliberately broad, deliberately flexible, and that award attorney fees only to prevailing plaintiffs, removing all deterrents against frivolous suits and piling on incentives to cave to extortion. The result is a system that’s profitable for lawyers, mediocre for individual plaintiffs, and a constant burden on potential defendants in a way that utterly fails to distinguish between wrongdoers and the innocent.

    If you’re only irritated by this when a group of Wrong People target a group of Right People, you’re not to be taken seriously.

    1. Hahaha, good on these guys. This is a win win situation. These guys make out like bandits, and the SJWs will be forced to reform the laws or go broke.

    2. “If you’re only irritated by this when a group of Wrong People target a group of Right People, you’re not to be taken seriously.”

      Hear, hear!

    3. But the problem is, a law sometimes does take them seriously.

      Take Quebec’s language laws. Ostensibly put in place to protect the French language (more like Quebecois slang but I digress) actually empowers a sort of vigilante brute who goes around complaining about words like ‘pasta’ and ‘Home depot’ and an endless stream of Henglish words that frighten the parochial nationalist jerk off. But this person, by the power of a complaint, has the law on their side. The state then turns around and levies fines on citizens for using words that contradict the language laws.

      It’s obscene as it is absurd as it is retarded as it is an affront to civil liberties.

      But hey. All for a…language. A language of the collective take precedence over the liberty of an individual.

  38. Landlords are the real cause of inequality

    There is growing concern that wealth inequality has skyrocketed, and that capital income accounts for a growing share of the economic pie. This was the theme of Thomas Piketty’s “Capital in the Twenty-First Century.” But although we usually think of “capitalists” as they were defined by Karl Marx — i.e., owners of corporations — we forget that land also is a form of capital, which means landlords (and homeowners) are capitalists, too. Furthermore, according to Matt Rognlie, an economics Ph.D. student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, it is land, not corporate capital, that has been responsible for the lion’s share of the increase in capital’s share of income.

    This increase is happening worldwide. A great report by the Economist showed that the share of residential property value as a percentage of gross domestic product has skyrocketed in European countries since 1950.

    This is bad for the economy. To understand why, we have to look at the reasons land has value in the first place. That’s not easy, because for most of human history, the value of land came mainly from the value of its natural productive power — the fertility of the soil, or the minerals beneath the earth. But in the modern age, land has value for a very different reason, summed up by the real estate mantra: location, location, location.

    1. The author can rest easy. Real estate bubbles pop too. Sometimes, the government even lets them.

    2. the value of land came mainly from the value of its natural productive power
      Minerals like Greenspandium, Benickle, and Yellinite.

    3. “There is growing concern that wealth inequality has skyrocketed…”

      The great thing about growing concerns is that you never have to cite them, quantify them, or qualify them in any way.

      There is a growing concern that climate change may lead to sharknados.

      See how easy that is?

    4. Just keep that bubble inflated until my house sells for, at best, 70% of the peak of the last bubble when I bought in. Then I’m settling all my debts and living on cash for the foreseeable future.

  39. I have been a card carrying Republican for 47 years but if 32% of the party is for Trump then I will switch to being a Socialist Democrat. Seriously if it is Hillary against Trump I am going to ask Putin if he will let me finish my days in Russia

  40. “The California Assembly has approved a right-to-die bill.”

    And the world would be a better place if the representatives to the California Assembly all killed themselves.

  41. OT: a few business tips from law practice:

    Always get the money up front.

    You get used to losing your virginity (I have a bunch of professional “firsts” that have come and gone recently, so I don’t get as nervous when a new “first” comes along).

    You only get one chance -most of the time- so make your work look as good as possible (this goes along with you never know who the opposing counsel will be – and it could be an old friend, or a hated professional foe – so make your work as good as it can be).

    Clients always think it’s OK to tell less than the whole truth to their lawyer, for some dumb reason. But never accuse them of lying, they will take it badly.

    1. Everyone lies to make themselves look better… hell I’ve lied to my *doctor.

      4 out of 5 doctors don’t recommend this practice.

    2. Have you fired a client yet? That is one of the great joys of being an attorney.

      1. Oh, yes. It does feel great. Once I was about to “fire” the client, and came in to a substitution from another attorney. I signed it so fast the pen burned my fingers.

  42. I know that it’s important for liberty that we all get behind a reasonable Republican like Jeb Bush, but I guess I don’t understand the implicit gnashing of teeth to dust here over Donald trump. Minus a half-dozen bankruptcies– isn’t he a rich, loudmouth, entitled white guy who thinks his riches on “Celebrity Apprentice” are because of his innate talent? The fact that some leech from a teacher’s union wants this “genius” to pay more in taxes to pay for schools that actually might be functional makes me want to puke all over the next bernie sanders’ supporter I see.

    1. Please don’t feed the troll.


        1. Don’t tell us what not to do…


        2. This time I asked nicely. Next time, maybe not so much…

      2. Please don’t feed the INCOHERENT troll…

    2. What’s your point? Do you have one? Have you ever had one?

    3. You wouldn’t know liberty if it pissed in your Wheaties.

    4. American socialist is just joining the chorus of progressive supporters of Donald Trump.

      Krugman likes Trump’s economics.

      Liz Warren likes Trump’s economics.

      Why shouldn’t american socialist like Trump’s economics, too?

      1. The appeal of economically-ignorant populism knows no political boundaries.

      2. Nah, ken, I just think its important for us libertarians to get behind whatever war-mongering Right-winger the church ladies in the GOP nominate. It’s important to remember, I think, that the act of negotiating a treaty in lieu of another war in the ME means you get everything you want and that it’s ok to threaten to bomb said country’s nuclear enrichment plant because, you know, it’s not a shopping plaza or something.

        1. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don’t rule the night. They don’t rule it. Nobody does. And they don’t run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

  43. Remember, kids, the nice thing about fascr is that it completely unpersons the people on your block list. The bad part is that you need to rebuild your block list as they post, but that’s no so bad, since you get the satisfaction of seeing them disappear.

    1. The bad part is that you need to rebuild your block list as they post


      1. I just mean that the blacklist is empty, or at least mostly empty, when you first make the switch.

        1. Oh, got it. It sounded like you were saying portions of the blocklist were being dropped off, which would be bad (and something similar was previously kinda-sorta happening, but I fixed it in this release).

          1. How do I remove someone from the ‘block’ list?

            1. Go to the top of the page.

              Click on your name (ie where it says “you are logged in as xxxx”, click on the xxxxx)

              Reason will serve a page with your handle and a bunch of other info. There fascr inserts your block list and your mute list.

              1. Thanks. I will move the existing instructions to a more prominent spot so hopefully this comes up less often.

                1. I link to your instructions should be in Firefox’s Add-on Manager page.

      1. Is it me, or are both of you not writing any words in these posts?

            1. hint: we’re pretending to be blocked…

              1. No, you’re pretending to be muted. Blocks don’t show up at all.

                1. Whatever.

    2. Your detailed knowledge of obscure social media unnerves me.

  44. Breaking news: experimental cure for “duck face” has been found.

    1. I’m going to say that what she took probably wasn’t MDMA. Or she had something wrong with her brain to begin with. Or she was stupid and partied all night without drinking enough water.

      Reporting on drugs is even worse than reporting on guns or science.

      1. She took it, and now she’s like this — what more evidence do you need? It’s a very sad story, and it says a lot about you that you want to try to lay the blame on this young woman herself, when she is so clearly suffering. You’re probably even against her getting the treatments she will now need, thanks to this horrible drug, because you’re a narrow-minded libertarian fascist who believes there should not be things such as roads and hospitals. You make me sick.

        1. The derp is strong in this one.

          1. You could be a fascist anarchist, it still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.

            1. That’s a relief. The roads are much safer without someone of your grand stupidity behind the wheel.

              1. Poe looms large.

        2. Don’t forget about dentist. Especially for profit dentists. Fuck those guys.

          1. That was my first thought… “Duckface” hides a lot of hideous teeth.

  45. Gee, nick sure knows a lot of right-wing warmongers and seems to get along pretty well. It leaves me longing a little bit for the old days I guess.

    1. Dreams are a great thing, but you know something? They take a lot of energy. But that’s OK. There’s a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn’t require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? OK? Thank you.

  46. OH man, fascr is great. Goodbye American Socialist. I’m getting boner in anticipation of muting tulpa, tony and buttplug since I can’t drown them.

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