Black Monday for Stock Markets, Americans Receive France's Highest Honor, Jon Stewart Hosts SummerSlam: A.M. Links


  • WWE

    Stock markets around the world were down after the markets in China plunged. The Dow Jones is preparing for a sell-off today after a sharp drop Friday.

  • Three Americans who thwarted a massacre on a train in France received that country's highest award, the Legion of Honor.
  • Sources close to Vice President Joe Biden say he's leaning toward running for president, if he can put together a competitive campaign. As Democrats are beginning to turn on Hillary Clinton, some are trying to persuade Sen. Elizabeth Warren to run.
  • Donald Trump slammed fellow Republican presidential candidate Gov. Scott Walker, saying Wisconsin was "really in trouble" in part because of its governor. 
  • The foreign minister of Iran says it's too early to discuss re-opening the U.S. embassy in Tehran.
  • Jon Stewart hosted the WWE SummerSlam, saying he was glad to leave political commentary behind and return to reality.

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  1. Three U.S. Marines who thwarted a massacre on a train in France received that country’s highest award, the Legion of Honor.

    Cultural insensitivity. Who is America to get in the way of the French lying down?

    1. They weren’t Marines, either.

      1. I was a bit more explicit below.

      2. Air Force.
        Army Reserve.
        College student.


        One Englishman who was helpful because he spoke French.

        1. NATIONAL GUARD! Army Reserve”…humph!

          1. At least they haven’t identified them as members of the U.S. Public Health Service or *shudder* NOAA.

            Joking aside, I’m very proud to see that a soldier of my former battalion’s sister battalion stepped up, and just back from their latest deployment too. Now hurry home so you can get called up for fire duty.

        2. If the Limey had jumped in like that back home, he’d be facing assault and bigotry charges now.

          1. Surprising that France hasn’t sunk that low yet.

      3. Damn, yet another poster faster than me…

      4. It’s “the Marines save Paris” all over again.

    2. Hello.

  2. Stock markets around the world were down after the markets in China plunged.

    I bet their fortune cookies didn’t warn them of this.

    1. Fortune cookies were invented in the United States, and most are made here.

        1. That has the unmet prerequisite of there being a laugh to kill

          1. If people wouldn’t demand I craft as many comments as possible in under a minute…

            1. Who is demanding that?

            2. “I blame Society. Society made me what I am.”

            1. Assuming that’s the commercial… can you imagine that running today??

              1. Can you imagine anyone even as modestly funny as that on SNL today?

  3. …some are trying to persuade Sen. Elizabeth Warren to run.

    Fauxcahontas play warrior squaw to big chief Speaks Without Brain. Steal wampum from undeserving.

      1. Goddamn, that would be some great entertainment. Let us all fervently pray for that ticket.

        1. Amateur chainsaw juggling is entertaining, too, but I wouldn’t engage in it.

            1. Everyone’s going to get some blood on them eventually.

        2. No, no. The Clinton machine needs to entertain me more.

          1. But when they would clash…oh the fun!

          2. Oh, I assure you the fun is just *beginning*, Princess.

          3. Don’t worry, her going down in flames and taking the rest of Tokyo down with her is going to be plenty entertaining. Or terrifying. Not sure which.

        3. It’s only entertaining until they win.

      2. I can’t figure out if they are serious or not. I have to assume they are kidding — but probably not, they probably think this is a brilliant idea.

      3. You’re gonna know if Obama sends Biden off on some high-profile international mission designed mostly to give Joe a twirl on the world stage (let us pray there is no swimsuit competition portion of the show) and the CFPB announces some bold initiative to save us all from the Jews scourge of the unregulated money-lending bogeymen. (Warren’s Baby – you just thought Rosemary’s was horrifying.)

    1. The Scarecrow (“If I Only Had a Brain” Biden)


      The Wizard of Oz (The Smoke and Mirrors Bombasticity of Trump)

      1. Maybe that would be the election a Libertarian candidate got more than 1% of the vote.

        1. 1.5%? Dare we dream?

    2. That already made my morning, Fist.

  4. Sources close to Vice President Joe Biden say he’s leaning toward running for president, if he can put together a competitive campaign. As Democrats are beginning to turn on Hillary Clinton, some are trying to persuade Sen. Elizabeth Warren to run.

    If this isn’t a clown car than what is?

    1. stand by for wall to wall reason coverage of what ridiculous buffoons they are and the idiocy they spew.

      1. Oh please.

        Matt and Nick will be peddling the libertarian case for Biden-Warren and point to it as further proof that the libertarian moment is nigh.

  5. How Tom Steyer, the White House, and a Scandal-Plagued Operative Paved the Way for EPA Regulations

    The White House, statehouses, and nonprofits backed by the billionaire Democrat Tom Steyer worked behind the scenes to create a state-level advocacy network to support controversial new Environmental Protection Agency regulations, newly released emails reveal.

    Involved in the strategy was a top aide to John Kitzhaber, the former Democratic governor of Oregon, according to emails obtained by the Energy and Environment Legal Institute. Kitzhaber resigned this year in the midst of a scandal involving his fianc?e.

    E&E released its findings in a Monday report that shows extensive behind-the-scenes coordination between White House staff, aides to as many as 12 governors, and officials at multiple arms of Steyer’s network of political and policy groups.

    1. A Modern day warrior, mean mean stride
      Today’s Tom Steyer, mean mean pride

      1. I really like Moving Pictures,


          1. R.E.M.,,earth ,wind and fire,En Voge,Bach,Mozaat Beethoven?

          2. What about Lucy?

            1. If it’s Lucy Liu I’m all for that

  6. Jon Stewart hosted the WWE SummerSlam, saying he was glad to leave political commentary behind and return to reality.

    Causing thinkpieces, like so many folding chairs, to be slammed on our heads.

    1. Please tell me Cena choke slammed him or did something else fake but still potentially painful.

  7. Guys, Stop Humping The Nicki Minaj Wax Figure

    On Wednesday the Las Vegas museum issued a statement saying they would be more vigilant around the Minaj figure, which is modeled in a racy pose from her music video for “Anaconda.” The figure was unveiled earlier this month, and though the rapper was not in attendance for the ceremony, she approved of it, writing on Instagram, “I love it and I can’t wait to see it.”

    “We have been made aware of the inappropriate photograph taken at Madame Tussauds Las Vegas, involving Nicki Minaj’s wax figure,” read the statement. “We are taking immediate steps to ensure more staff are present in this area and that the set around this particular figure so that a picture like this cannot be taken again.”

    Although they did not say which “inappropriate photograph” it was that sparked the response, the one that seems to have garnered the most attention was this one, showing a visitor straddling the faux-Minaj from behind.

      1. Get someone else in there for a Minaj ? trois.

        1. Expected that…but you still deserve this…

          *narrows gaze*

    1. The first wax model that can give you HPV.

      1. Wouldn’t that be Madonna’s wax figure?

        1. She was all about that herp, girl.

          1. I lump all STDs together in one – thing- so I guess yeah, the HPV versus herpes would be correct.

              1. That is a bit more respectable, true.

    2. straddling the faux-Minaj from behind

      Nice album name.

      1. Can you image how fake a fake Minaj must be? I mean, she’s so far from anything authentic, I assume a fake one who only have to be a vaguely tittish blob with a Sir Mix-A-Lot cassette melted onto it.

    3. Seems appropriate to me.

    4. Wow, they finally give nicki minaj a wax figure and it’s a statue of her bent over on all fours…… White people yo….
      ? AZEALIA BANKS (@AZEALIABANKS) August 12, 2015

      I love Azealia’s Twitter.

      Donald Trump is a nappy headed hoe who needs a perminator
      1,646 retweets 2,116 favorites
      Reply Retweet 1.6K Favorite 2.1K


      1. Wow, they finally give nicki minaj a wax figure and it’s a statue of her bent over on all fours…… White people yo….
        ? AZEALIA BANKS (@AZEALIABANKS) August 12, 2015

        This kinda makes me want to take a picture with the wax dummy pulling a plow.

    5. I just threw up a lot in my mouth.

  8. …saying Wisconsin was “really in trouble” in part because of its governor.

    What are the other parts causing Wisconsin troubles?

    1. Too much cheese?

      1. Is that even possible?

        1. well it can be, um, ‘binding’ in massive quantities

          1. Ah. Well, that explains a lot…

        2. Those words….I recognize them…but together like that…????!

  9. Jon Stewart hosted the WWE SummerSlam, saying he was glad to leave political commentary behind and return to reality.

    Nothing say reality like WWE!

  10. Klansman Convicted Over Plot to Use “Death X-Ray” on Mosques

    A professed Ku Klux Klansman became the first American to be convicted of federal radiation weapon charges on Friday when a jury found him guilty of plotting to kill Muslims with a modified X-ray machine, The Guardian reports.

    According to prosecutors, 51-year-old Glendon Scott Crawford and an accomplice tried to create a weapon they described as “Hiroshima on a light switch” to expose Muslim communities to lethal doses of radiation. From NBC News:

    According to the indictment, Crawford approached the Jewish Federation of Northeastern New York, Congregation Gates of Heaven in Schenectady and the Israeli Embassy in Washington to ask whether they would help him acquire a commercially available industrial-grade X-ray device to kill “enemies of Israel.”

    They declined and reported him to the FBI, which sent in undercover agents in April 2012. The undercover agents provided the device, which they’d rendered inoperable, the FBI said.

    Crawford and [co-conspirator Eric J.] Feight both worked for General Electric, and they managed to design, acquire parts for, build and test a remote trigger “that could have activated the radiation machine,” prosecutors said.

    1. That’s what they get for trusting Zionists.

    2. that could have activated the radiation machine

      So, in other words, they didn’t have anything that was even close to harmful.

      1. Are you kidding? They were only a few parts short of the mythical Death Ray!


        1. Truly a classic.

        2. Well ,he called it a death ray,didn’t slow the neighbor kids down,sure pissed off the dog though

    3. “This [federal radiation weapons charge] deserves a better class of criminal.”

  11. Donald Trump slammed fellow Republican presidential candidate Gov. Scott Walker, saying Wisconsin was “really in trouble” in part because of its governor.

    What a loser, he didn’t even call him a name.

  12. They weren’t “three marines.” Airman, National Guard, and civilian.

    1. Oh, and curse your speedier posting too!

  13. Satan worshipers drown women with milk in Planned Parenthood counter-protest

    Satan worshipers launched a counter-protest against pro-lifers outside the Detriot and Ferndale, Michigan Planned Parenthood locations Saturday.

    Clad in black robes, members of the Satanic Temple of Detriot drenched bound women with milk, simulating water-boarding to “illustrate the theocratic agenda imposed upon female bodies.” The milk symbolized breast milk, one of the protest organizers explained on Facebook.

    The group attached a symbol of their temple to the American flag and held up a sign that read, “America is not a theocracy. End forced motherhood.”

    1. Satanists, eh? Just the ally Planned Parenthood needed in their PR battle.

      1. I’m sure Margaret Sannger approves,from the gates of hell.If there is one.

  14. Hey gang, I was at the beach on Friday blissfully unawares of the market drop. Was Shriek in attendance, saying it was Bush’s fault?

      1. I originally read that as ‘too cocked up to post’. Not sure what that means.

        1. Mmm, I supposed that would be possible too.

    1. Actually, I do think he blamed Bush on Saturday afternoon.

    2. He shorted all major markets and now lives in a undisclosed location.

  15. The foreign minister of Iran says it’s too early to discuss re-opening the U.S. embassy in Tehran.

    They’re like eight hours ahead of us. Call back later.

  16. Poll: Swing-state voters reject Iran deal

    Wide majorities in three key swing states oppose the Iran nuclear deal, according to the results of the latest Quinnipiac University poll released Monday.

    In Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania, voters rejected the deal announced between Iran and six world powers last month and also said the agreement would make the world less safe, not safer.

    Florida voters opposed the nuclear deal 61 percent to 25 percent, while 61 percent to 27 percent said it would make the world less safe. In Ohio, 58 percent opposed the deal, compared with 24 percent who support it. Additionally, 56 percent to 26 percent think the deal would lead to a less safe world.

    1. In Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania, voters rejected the deal announced between Iran and six world powers last month

      They were given a chance to vote on it? Huh.

      God, the quality of writing at Politico is awful, even by modern journalism “standards.”

  17. Three U.S. Marines who thwarted a massacre on a train in France received that country’s highest award, the Legion of Honor.

    Marines? Yeah, they were marines alright. Just like Armstrong and Jackson were Marines in American Ninja 2: The Confrontation.

    1. A thousand curses on your speedier posting!

  18. “Three U.S. Marines”

    You mean the Airman, Army National Guardsman and college student, right?…..t-to-know/

    TW: Time

  19. No Marines were involved in the French train attack

    The Americans involved were not Marines, One was National Guard, one was Air Force and one was civilian

    1. Why let facts get in the way of a great story?

    2. Well, at least I beat one person…

      *sheepish grin*

      1. …that’s more that any Marines beat on that French train!


    3. Wow. The Minneapolis-Star headline.

      Authorities laud passengers for averting attack by heavily armed man on European train

      The link hover says 3 Americans..but the headline is really cringeworthy.

      1. Meh. Does it really matter that they were Americans? They were indeed passengers.

      2. He’s not even an alleged gunman now. Just a heavily armed man. Maybe because of elephantiasis or something.

        1. Spinach. It’s a hell of a drug.

  20. Ohio Legislature Weighs Ban on Abortion for Downs Syndrome

    Anti-abortion activists in Ohio want to bar women from getting abortions solely because they do not wish to have a baby with Down syndrome, rallying around a bill endorsed by the National Right to Life Committee.

    The Ohio House and Senate will likely pass the bill sometime this fall, according to the New York Times, because most of the state’s legislators oppose abortion and have been endorsed by the committee. However, Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R) has not yet taken a position on the bill, so it is unclear if he will authorize it, though he has signed many other abortion restrictions into law.

    Because women can undergo prenatal testing to see if their baby will be afflicted with certain diseases and disorders, between 50 and 85 percent of women who discover that their baby might have Down syndrome have chosen an abortion, according to a review of studies conducted between 1995 and 2011. ?But that number has declined over the years when compared to earlier studies conducted in the 1990s, the review notes.

    Critics of the bill say that the ban would be difficult to enforce and likely violates the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling,

    1. Couldn’t we just have a pizza/vaccination/circumcision thread instead?

        1. Yes, but it is rarely done because you have to go in through the butt.

    2. This could really hurt Kasich’s chances to become presidency.

    3. Ohio Legislature Weighs Ban on Abortion for Downs Syndrome

      “Three ounces, plus or minus.”

    4. I can see the objections to abortion for sex selection. But the world would go on just fine with fewer people with Down’s syndrome. Of course, the main support for this will come from people who oppose all abortion.

      Difficulty of enforcement would seem to be a big problem.

      1. Advocating death for genetic defectives? How brave of you!

        1. Advocating? Why must some people interpret every opinion I express as advocacy. If you want a retarded baby, you should have your retarded baby.

  21. Retailer announces Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costumes

    “Caitlyn Jenner has proven to be the most important real-life superhero of the year,” Trisha Lombardo told the newspaper, “and Spirit Halloween is proud to carry the costume that celebrates her.”

    The former Olympian famously came out as a transsexual woman earlier this year.

    How the Halloween chain intends to “celebrate” Jenner and keep the costume from being completely insensitive hasn’t been revealed — Spirit wasn’t giving away any secrets about what it would look like.

    1. But on the Caitlyn outfit, but then dress as Bruce over the top of it.

      1. *reads, enters Zen-like state*


    2. “Spirit Halloween is proud to carry the costume that celebrates her.”

      The Incredible Hulk?

    3. Does it come with a dead woman he rear-ended?

      1. Well, it *is* Halloween.

      2. enough of your necro fantasies

    4. This is why I hate Halloween now.

    5. Not to go all John… but she really is singlehandedly taking all the fun out of cross-dressing/gender-bending.

      What’s next? Picketing RuPaul’s Drag Race?

  22. Black Monday for Stock Markets


    1. #”BlackLivesMatter”Matters

  23. Good Morning Peanuts!

    Rand Paul now at 2.8% on the Reuters five-day rolling average.

    Where is that fucking ‘Irish’? He was telling me RP would cruise past 5% and I said he wouldn’t. Is he a West Coast Peanut?

    (It is sad about RP’s campaign. He is the only decent GOPer)

    1. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don’t rule the night. They don’t rule it. Nobody does. And they don’t run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

    2. Look at how great the markets are doing all you little ratfuckers!!! Whoops, I mean… neeeever miiiiiind.

      1. “What bubble?”

        – Shriek

      2. You East Coast Peanuts just don’t have the moxie of the WCP.

        1. Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

      3. He sure is a sloppy drunk.

    3. I like that on the day global markets are imploding, you’re trying to criticize me based on predictions of Rand Paul’s poll numbers.

      I think your failing predictions are more important than mine, especially since my prediction didn’t even fail as I merely pointed out that Paul could easily get to 5% and all it would take would be for a few people to drop out of the race. That point has not yet been disproven given that I made it a week ago and we’ve still got 6 months until the primaries.

    4. He’s obsessing about all his stock market gains in the last week.

  24. Deutsche Bank Says Rout ‘Very Serious’ as Growth Outlook Dims

    The meltdown in global markets is “very serious” as it will weaken prospects for growth worldwide, said Henning Gebhardt, global head of equities at Deutsche Bank AG’s asset and wealth management unit.

    “We are expecting some adjustments for the global economic outlook — especially triggered by weaker growth in emerging markets,” Gebhardt said in an e-mailed response to questions on Monday in Frankfurt. “The low oil price and the changed economic outlook will create another round of global earnings cuts.”

    Global stocks have lost $5 trillion since China unexpectedly devalued the yuan on Aug. 11, with investors spooked by signs of further weakening in the world’s second-largest economy. The rout is raising doubt about the ability of the global economy to withstand a eventual liftoff in U.S. interest rates this year.

    something stock market booming something goldbugs

    1. something something record profits something something full employment something something

    2. I blame Bush.

    3. “Worldwide growth” slowing – thus a correction in markets.

      2007-08 was a full-blown financial crisis with major banks crashing and burning

      Big Diff – Peanuts.

      1. It’s coming. Just as soon as the equities/junk bond/subprime auto loan bubble bursts.

      2. So, you sold on Wednesday, eh?

      3. Dreams are a great thing, but you know something? They take a lot of energy. But that’s OK. There’s a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn’t require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? OK? Thank you.

      4. Yeah, because Goldman Sachs wasn’t investing heavily in China or oil/gas exploration.


    4. Record Profits!
      Full Employment!
      Cheap Commodities!
      Strong Housing!
      GDP Growth!

      DJIA was down 1,000 points Thursday and Friday.

      Stock futures down 5% this morning – locked limit down.

      1. I expect moar QE – gotta keep that bubble inflated. But we shall see.

        1. I wonder if it would even help at this point. Fear is setting in. Might even make it worse.

          1. Not going to help much. But the political pressure to not raise rates is going to be severe.

            1. 7 years they avoided raising rates. Anybody really think they were actually going to do it this time?

              1. *sheepishly raises hand*

                I though one lousy quarter point in September… now, I am not so sure.

              2. No

                Especially coming into a presidential election year.

        2. There is no means of avoiding the final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come sooner as the result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final and total catastrophe of the currency system involve

          –Ludwig von Mises

      2. The USA is the gem in a basket of world bricks. But we are interconnected you know. The Asian crisis of 1997-98 was amid the great US bull market of 1995-1999.

        1. You’re a disingenuous shitbag.

          You’ve been cheerleading for months saying things are great. People here point out things that are maybe not so great and you wave it off, screaming goldbugs, ratfuckers, and Bush!

          Go fuck yourself. I hope you get the mother of all margin calls. Shit bag.

          1. Come on, Restoras. You know that PB has neither the guts nor the money to put his money where his mouth is. His 401(k) is probably in a fixed income fund or some lame target year mutual fund.

          2. The USA is the gem in a basket of world bricks.

            I stand by everything I have said, asshole.

            1. Go die in a fire, you disingenuous shitbag.

        2. Down 1,000

          Nice work, shitbag.

    5. A global stock market meltdown causes overseas investors to pull all their money out and flee to the US markets for safety, meaning the US can lower interest rates into negative territory – i.e. charge overseas investors to stash their money here and pay US companies to borrow money – which seems like a great deal for the US. So what’s with the “raising interest rates” crap? What am I missing here? Interest rates are the price of money and just now as a huge supply is coming onto the market, the price is going up? The US government doesn’t want US companies borrowing money that they’re freaking being paid to borrow? The economy is already in danger of overheating and the Fed wants to cool it off? WTF? I know, the government is retarded, but not so retarded that they are totally unaware of supply and demand and the relationship of prices to same. Somebody help me out here, what am I not understanding about capital markets?

      1. OK, government intervention – you just need to imagine a group of concussed monkeys getting into someone’s meth stash…

  25. French train gunman ‘dumbfounded’ by terrorist tag

    A gunman who attacked passengers on a high-speed train in France two days ago is “dumbfounded” at having been taken for an Islamist militant and says he only intended to rob people on board because he was hungry, his lawyer said on Sunday.

    As details emerged of the gunman’s early adult life in Spain, lawyer Sophie David said her client — now in detention near Paris — also looked ill and malnourished.

    French and Spanish sources close to the case have identified him as a 26-year-old Moroccan named Ayoub el Khazzani who was known to European authorities as a suspected Islamist militant.

    “(I saw) somebody who was very sick, somebody very weakened physically, as if he suffered from malnutrition, very, very thin and very haggard,” David told BFMTV.

    1. Pearle Vision have any French outlets to help her out?

      1. I’m sure Luxottica has retailers in France.

    2. He just “found” those weapons lying around next to the train station, too.

      1. “He could barely lift that AK!”


      2. Wait, I’ve got it!

        “He was going to sell those weapons for food money – and the only reason he got all stabby was because he thought these overfed, Anglo-Imperialists were taking away his only hope of a meal…”

        /French Lawyer

      3. “He traveled to Syria because the cous cous in Spain was unacceptable.”

    3. Coulda traded That AK & Mags and Ammo for a buttload of quiche and couscous.

  26. Fed Credibility Test Looms as Market Doubts September Rate Rise

    The U.S. is showing it is ready for higher interest rates and Yellen needs to deliver them, Van-Petersen said. While Fed officials flagged inflation concerns at their late July meeting, they indicated the economy was “approaching that point” where it could sustain tighter policy. The Fed has held rates at rock-bottom levels since 2008.

    “The Fed should raise rates, even if the markets sell off; it should be the economy first,” Singapore-based Van-Petersen said Monday. “The very worst thing they could do is let the market dictate what they should do.”

    The world has been adjusting to the prospect of interest-rate increases for the U.S. and the U.K. even as most central banks attempt to stimulate growth by adding accommodation. China’s surprise devaluation this month may spur its exports by loosening the currency’s connection to the dollar.

    1. The Fed has credibility? Since when?

      1. Well, it’s not theirs, they keep it in a jar.

        1. Does each governor check it out for 24 hours at a time?

  27. SWAT Team Raids Wrong Worcester Home, Residents Say…..dents-say/

    Police have raided the apartment before, but Diaz moved in back in May with her fianc? and two children.
    The DA’s office released a statement saying “The search warrant was executed based on the best intelligence at the time. He (the target) had been in the dwelling in the days before the execution of the search warrant.”

    Days, months, whatever. And nothing else happened.

    1. “best intelligence at the time”

      You mean you have to update that shit?!


    1. “A snake has to bite a few people. You can’t ask it not to be a snake. People might not see her legless slither otherwise.”

    2. What if ‘personality’ were a Clinton code word for ‘flesh’?

      1. What if gaijin’s post was a code phrase for “induce vomiting”?


      2. And the meaning of ‘dial back’ is …?

        1. And the meaning of ‘dial back’ is …?

          …to use one’s digits to, uh, I should stop before I cause Swiss further discomfort.

      3. Hillary would bare her teeth.

      4. “Trigger Warning”
        There’s a fucking reason for them!

    3. “You see, for a long time we actually believed that she had no personality, so we have to let her show it when it comes out.”

  28. Jesse Owens: Hitler Didn’t Snub Me ? It Was Our President

    Franklin Delano Roosevelt, leader of a major political party with deep roots in racism, couldn’t bring himself to utter a word of support, which may have been a factor in Owens’s decision to campaign for Republican Alf Landon in the 1936 presidential election. FDR invited all the white US Olympians to the White House, but not Jesse.

    “It all goes so fast, and character makes the difference when it’s close,” Owens once said about athletic competition. He could have taught FDR a few lessons in character, but the president never gave him the chance. Owens wouldn’t be invited to the White House for almost 20 years ? not until Dwight Eisenhower named him “Ambassador of Sports” in 1955.

    1. Goddam racist RethugliKKKans……..

    2. Yes, FDR’s New Deal coalition required him to shaft black people so as not to offend the Southern Democrats.

      Combine that with Japanese internment and FDR has a less than stellar record on race issues.

      1. FDR also resisted anti-lynching laws so as not to offend Southerners.

      2. Not just Japanese although being the biggest. Germans and Italians as well. In Canada we even interned Ukrainians under Prime Minister King.…..-camp.html

        1. Unpaid internships are basically slavery, so you’re pretty much worse than Hitler now.

      3. Don’t forget FDR’s tenure as Governor-General of Haiti when he forced the Haitians to sign a new constitution taking power from dark skinned blacks and handing it to lighter skinned mulattos.

    3. I demand that this racist be taken off the dime.

    4. “Hitler didn’t snub me; it was our president who snubbed me. The president didn’t even send a telegram.” ? Jesse Owens

      Back then, Democrats were almost as openly and proudly racist as Hitler himself was. These days, of course, they need to be a bit less open about it.

      1. These days, of course, they need to be a bit less open about it.

        They like the “articulate and bright and clean and nice looking” blacks now…

  29. Worker Who Lit a Match to Check for Gas Sparked Bronx School Blast

    Sources say the workers were supposed to shut off the gas to the lab at a source and then pump another less volatile but noxious fuel into the line, pushing the dangerous and odorless gas out the other end.

    When the line is completely free of the odorless fuel, workers would normally smell the secondary fuel, which signals that the line is safe to work around.

    But sources say a worker allegedly decided to test the line by striking a match near its tip ? and it exploded with such force that a wall facing Terrace View Ave. was blown out onto the street.

    1. That’s a good way to singe your taint.

    2. “Officials said they were unsure if the school will be ready to open at the start of the school year and several charter schools may need to find new homes.”


    3. “You’re fired! Nah, just kidding.”

      /his union

  30. Out of Touch Punditry Embarrasses Self With Clinton Email Nonsense

    A message to the out-of-touch Washington pundit class: get a grip. What was or was not on Hillary Clinton’s email server when she was Secretary of State is not a game-changing news story.

    In fact, no one outside the chattering class — and right-wing true believers — could give a rat’s rear about this story — and there is a good reason: there is no “there” there.


    None of the emails on the Secretary’s personal account were classified at the time they were sent or received. That is not in dispute. There is an on-going controversy between various agencies of what ought to be classified in retrospect as the material is released to the public by the State Department, but that does not change the fact that none of it was classified at the time. In fact, one of the several emails at issue actually says the word “unclassified” in the upper left hand corner and can still be accessed by the general public on the State Department web site.

    Finally, no one has ever pointed to an instance where the fact that something was on her server instead of a government server had any negative consequences whatsoever.

    He could have made this piece much simpler: “Fuck you, you stupid fucks are going to vote for her and like it.”

    1. Finally, no one has ever pointed to an instance where the fact that something was on her server instead of a government server had any negative consequences whatsoever.


      1. Is he arguing for privatizing national security?

    2. None of the emails on the Secretary’s personal account were classified at the time they were sent or received. That is not in dispute

      because *I* fucking say so!

      1. Even Hil-Dog deserves due process.

        Or do you think she doesn’t?

        1. You see, Dunphy? This is how you suck shit off of someone’s cock. I mean, look at this dumbass go.

          1. Because you fuckers are irrational partisans. You hate cops (for good reason) and zealous prosecutors but want to convict people you don’t like without due process.

            Hil-Dog will get her just takedown in time.

            1. Hil-Dog will get her just takedown in time.

              After two terms, you mean.

        2. Oh, yes, P B. *Please* let the due process begin.

        3. Sure, she deserves due process–right before being thrown in the clink.

      2. The Secretar of State was cut out of all e-mails that involved classified information? So she was a “no work” figurehead for the department?

        That kinda makes her one bit of executive experience a liability.

        Secondly, I don’t thnik that actually maytets.

      3. None of the emails on the Secretary’s personal account were classified at the time they were sent or received.

        And here I thought I read that they almost immediately found two emails with the highest level of national security classification, the kind of stuff that somebody has to copy onto media and smuggle out of a secure facility for it to show up on anyone’s email.

        Even Hil-Dog deserves due process.

        When she’s indicted, sure. Until then? There really isn’t such a thing.

        Somebody who wants due process, by the way, shouldn’t engage in obstruction.

    3. Oh my God the comments are simply stunning:

      James Turner ? LaSalle Senior High School
      Damage that was inflicted by republican hacks assisted by the “liberal” media.

      Alison Valery ? Forest Park High School
      James Turner : A bunch of coward men who are fresh out of ideas and innovative policies to improve the lives of Americans, are so afraid of the power of a woman ( Hillary Clinton) they are using tax payers dollars to conduct dirty politics and a witch hunt in the halls of congress.

      They’re actually gonna go there? Blame Republicans?


      1. I remember being stupid in high school too but thankfully it was before the internet.

  31. The porn women actually want to watch
    New Pornhub analytics offer a few eye-opening findings on the viewing habits of each gender

    About a year ago, the Pornhub analytics team decided to examine the viewing habits of their female viewers. The 2014 results confirmed what most of us already knew: plenty of women like porn. But one little detail may surprise some people. It turns out that women like lesbian porn, specifically.

    Pornhub’s lesbian category was ranked number one among female viewers. Gay male porn came in second place. For men, the gay category falls into seventh place, a noteworthy finding since, as Pornhub writes, “this category ranks higher with the sex opposite to that which this type of content is intended for.” Next came the teen, for-women and ebony categories.

    This year’s results provide us with even more insight. While the lesbian category still holds the number-one spot, and gay (male) number two, the number-three spot now goes to the big dick category. “Squirting” fell to the number 10 spot.


    1. I always thought the categories of the music biz were crazy. I can only imagine what things look like at the annual Porn Awards..”And the award for technical achievement in lubrication goes to…”

      1. The underpaid and underappreciated workers at the Warty dungeon?

        1. They are paid with their puny lives.

        2. Warty doesn’t use lube. Unless tears count.

          1. The problem with tears is that they dry too quickly.

    2. It seems like women like watching guys (and girls) eat pussy. A lot, and a lot more than men do. The team found that searches for “guy licking pussy” and “pussy licking orgasm” were conducted 722% and 934% more often by women than by men.

      OK, then.

    3. Gay male porn came in second place. For men, the gay category falls into seventh place, a noteworthy finding since, as Pornhub writes, “this category ranks higher with the sex opposite to that which this type of content is intended for.”

      I’m sure this has nothing to do with self-selection. And that the gay men watching it don’t outnumber the women watching it like 100-to-1.

  32. The Foo Fighters Rickroll Westboro Baptist protesters before concert

    Before they rocked a Kansas City audience Friday night at the Sprint Center, the Foo Fighters “rickrolled” an infamous group of protesters outside.

    Band members piled into a pickup truck and drove past members of the Westboro Baptist Church playing Rick Astley’s 1987 single “Never gonna give you up” and holding signs saying “YOU GOT RICK ROLL’D” and “KEEP IT CLEAN.” Dave Grohl and the rest of the band are seen jamming to the song in the truck’s bed, surrounded by fans.

    The Sprint Center captured video of the whole scene, which has lit up social media.

    The whole rickroll phenomenon is kind of old by now. As explained, “The song’s video has been used as an Internet meme in which people fool others into watching Astley’s clip since 2007, when the phrase ‘Rickrolling’ was born.”

    Dated but well-played.

      1. …………………………..

  33. Ayn Rand’s Tea Party lie ? Now we know who John Galt is

    One of the weird consequences of the 2008 financial meltdown and the measures taken to counteract it (enormous sums of money to help banks) was the revival of the work of Ayn Rand, the fullest ideological expression of radical “greed is good” capitalism: the sales of her magnum opus Atlas Shrugged exploded. According to some, there are already signs that the scenario described in Atlas Shrugged?the “creative capitalists” themselves going on strike?is now being enacted. Yet this reaction almost totally misreads the situation: most of the gigantic sums of bail-out money went precisely to those deregulated Randian “titans” who failed in their “creative” schemes and in doing so brought about the meltdown. It is not the great creative geniuses who are now helping lazy ordinary people; rather, it is the ordinary taxpayers who are helping the failed “creative geniuses.” One should simply recall that the ideologico-political father of the long economic process which ended up in the 2008 meltdown was Alan Greenspan, a card-carrying Randian “objectivist.” So now we finally know who John Galt is?the idiot responsible for the 2008 financial meltdown and, consequentially, for the threat of the shutdown of state apparatuses.

    1. Would it be worth it to point out that there were characters in Atlas that lobbied for and received government handouts, and that they were the villains of the novel?

      Oh, Salon. Never mind.

      1. What, you expect a Salonista to actually read that icky book?

        1. Their male writers probably can’t even lift it.

    2. The hardest part is; where to begin taking down this argument? It’s like if you cram enough stupidity into one assertion, that stupidity becomes it’s strength.

      1. It’s pretty tough considering that the first six paragraphs are little more than gibberish.

        Slavoj ?i?ek still considers himself a Marxist. That’s all you really need to know.

    1. You can’t win friends with salad.

      Sing it.

      1. My wife married me because of my salad. True story.

        1. I assume your salad was ambrosia.

          1. I left the jizz off the first time, just to get her hooked.

            Really, it was a pretty simple salad, but it seems to be greatly in demand from all our visitors. I have no idea what I’m doing right.

            1. The secret is love… *throws up in mouth*

            2. When I make my famous ambrosia salad, I make sure to shave the coconut so it melts right into the cream. It’s to die for.

            3. You people are gross.

              Why would you ruin your jizz with salad?

  34. Holy pot/kettle black

    The sinister truth about Donald Trump: How American politics have been hijacked by cults of personality

    Of course, American politics have for a long time been more about personalities than ideas, and the population is largely to blame for this. The mass media doesn’t treat politics like a sporting event because it gives them some kind of thrill, but because it attracts ratings and increases circulation. Just look at the first GOP debate, which, as Donald Trump has declared ad infinitum ever since, attracted massive ratings. Why did it have more that twenty million viewers? Because Donald Trump is a famous reality star, and the American people crave fame and entertainment. Trump is the antithesis of Sanders, in the sense that his entire campaign so far has been about his ego, rather than ideas. There can be no denying that he is entertaining to people across the political spectrum, and he has largely turned the GOP primaries into a reality show.

    1. No mention of the Obama cult?

  35. Three U.S. Marines who thwarted a massacre on a train in France received that country’s highest award, the Legion of Honor.

    Thus proving what I’ve long suspected – that the best people in France at any given time are Americans on vacation.

    1. It’s strange how I’ve always thought that while vacationing in France…

  36. Krugman on the latest unintended consequences; “Who could’ve possibly seen that coming?”

    On the surface, we seem to have had a remarkable run of bad luck. First there was the housing bust, and the banking crisis it triggered. Then, just as the worst seemed to be over, Europe went into debt crisis and double-dip recession. Europe eventually achieved a precarious stability and began growing again ? but now we’re seeing big problems in China and other emerging markets, which were previously pillars of strength.

    But these aren’t just a series of unrelated accidents. Instead, what we’re seeing is what happens when too much money is chasing too few investment opportunities.Whatever the precise mix of causes, what’s important now is that policy makers take seriously the possibility, I’d say probability, that excess savings and persistent global weakness is the new normal.

    My sense is that there’s a deep-seated unwillingness, even among sophisticated officials, to accept this reality. Partly this is about special interests: Wall Street doesn’t want to hear that an unstable world requires strong financial regulation, and politicians who want to kill the welfare state don’t want to hear that government spending and debt aren’t problems in the current environment.

    1. But there’s also, I believe, a sort of emotional prejudice against the very notion of global glut. Politicians and technocrats alike want to view themselves as serious people making hard choices ? choices like cutting popular programs and raising interest rates. They don’t like being told that we’re in a world where seemingly tough-minded policies will actually make things worse. But we are, and they will.

      Does he really think politicians, even 10% of politicians, are on a mission to cut spending and put a stop to easy money policies? He’s either the dumbest fuck to ever get his own column or he’s just a professional liar.

      1. Krugnuts was actually a good economist back in the 90s. He has since discovered that there is more money to be made in pandering to leftist economic ignorance than in actual economics.

        1. Nah, Krugman the Economist and Krugman the Pundit are two separate persons.

          Krugman the Pundit is just exploiting Krugman the Economist’s goodwill.

      2. That he can write that when interest rates have been at zero for seven years, and entitlement spending has exploded, shows how disconnected from the real world he is.

        1. How he can say “we do not have debt problem”, when debt to GDP has never been higher in peacetime, I don’t know. But that he goes on to say that “we have a savings problem” when savings have seldom been lower, I find just astounding.

          1. Literally the only time we’ve had savings lower than this for an extended period of time was right before the 2007 financial crisis. So Krugman is seriously arguing that we need a savings rate similar to the one that led to a housing bubble and then an implosion.

          2. You’re thinking about it. Stop thinking and give in to your emotions. Savings is bad because spending is what drives the economy. Forget that things must be produced before they can be purchased, and that it takes capital to produce things. No. Spending is the driver of the economy, and savings is money that is not being spent. Besides that, savings is just money. Money that could be used to feed starving children. If the rich are going to hoard cash, then they should be punished since they are stealing food from starving children. As far as the debt goes, government is us and we are government. We owe it to ourselves. No big deal. See? It all makes sense if you don’t think about it.

    2. On the surface, we seem to have had a remarkable run of bad luck.

      HAHAHAHAHA. Keynesian Klowns are so clueless. Nope, your preferred policies had nothing to do with this. It was just animal spirits or something.

      1. Well we know they aren’t wrong, because they are Top. Men. How could they be wrong? They all went to Ivy League schools and had all the right positions in government?

        It must be just a run of bad luck.

      2. Those foolish libertarians believe in the Invisible Hand God! Idiots! It’s the Bear and the Bull Gods that control the market!

        1. If we had just made the proper burnt offerings to Gorto, none of this would have happened. The poor, deluded fools!

      3. Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded ? here and there, now and then ? are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

        This is known as “bad luck.”

        1. +1,000 Heinlein

        2. How incredibly appropriate.

      4. Krugman started off the article with a Samuelson swipe at “the market” (that he and Samuelson allegedly study) and it’s inability to predict the economic future…

        When that’s their working theory of human interaction, no wonder they’ve been wrong on nearly everything for a century.

    3. excess savings

      Full Stop.

      We all know Kugnuts is nuts, but this is beyond the pale stupid.

      1. He’s been ranting against savings for a long time.

        1. It’s just idiotic. That’s like saying too much profit is excess.

          Seriously, do academics stay in academia to get stupid?

          1. “Now is not the time to make profits”.

      2. Behold the gigantic American savings rate of 4%.

        I like that Krugman apparently wants us to get down to the kind of 2% savings rate we had right before the economy exploded.

    4. Instead, what we’re seeing is what happens when too much money is chasing too few investment opportunities.

      Does Krugabe think that money spent by govt or lent by the Fed just evaporates leaving only the scent of fresh pine behind?

    5. ‘even among sophisticated officials, to accept this reality.’

      Gotta hand it to him. He sure loves to make sure Top Men are respected.

      1. Only the sophisticated ones. Don’t forget that in Krugman’s telling, about 90% of all policy makers in the universe want to cut spending and impose austerity at any cost. At least in whichever universe Krugman inhabits.

    6. You know who else had a remarkable run of bad luck…

      1. Theon Greyjoy?

        1. -1 appendage

      2. Odysseus?

    7. Partly this is about special interests: Wall Street doesn’t want to hear that an unstable world requires strong financial regulation[…]

      Just like saying an unruly teenager requires more beatings…

      1. Krugman and Bernanke are walking down the street and see a pile of dog shit. Bernanke says: “I’ll give you $20,000 to eat that pile of shit.” Krugman does it, gets paid, and they keep walking.

        After a while they see another pile of shit on the sidewalk. Seeing an opportunity for revenge, Krugman says: “Tell you what, I’ll give you $20,000 to eat that pile of shit.” Bernanke does it, Krugman gives him back the money, and they keep walking.

        After a while Bernanke says: “I’m feeling pretty sick. We both ate shit and neither of us is any richer.”

        Krugman answers: “You’re missing the bigger picture. We’ve increased the GDP by $40,000 and created two jobs.”

        1. My new favorite joke.

    8. Maybe finding ways to encourage private investment is a solution, or at least part of the solution?

      Come on, there’s a Krugman in there that knows this is right. Let him speak.

  37. From the France link:

    1 minute ago

    I clicked on Fox and got Breitbart.

    1. Hmm. I went to Bing and got Breitbart. Glitch in The Matrix?

      1. Your problem is, you’re using Bing.

  38. “WWE is like a live action-adventure soap opera,” chief brand officer Stephanie McMahon said.

    She said it’s all about the numbers: 14 million tune in weekly and more than half a billion follow on social media.

    “We’re in over 175 countries and in 35 different languages because our product just translates,” McMahon said.

    Their audience is also 38 percent women, more than any other professional sport.”

    It’s also about timing. The expiration date on progressive cool coincides with the day Barack Obama goes full lame duck, which may have already happened, and so it’s time for Stewart to reinvigorate his brand.

    “It’s not all just fun and games. Wrestlers give back through various charities and events, something encouraged by McMahon and the organization. Cena just granted his 500th Make-a-Wish request this week, the most of anyone ever.”

    Notice, however, that CBS still felt it necessary to put a pro-progressive spin on Stewart having associated with what they consider white trash.

  39. Now look – it’s only logical and sensible that, when Americans do badass things to stop a terrorist attack and beat the piss out of the would-be terrorist, people just assume that they’re Marines.


    1. But when you know what really happened, you find a Guardsman!

      *cheese eating grin*

      1. I’ve been both – so yeah!

        1. +1 America, fuck yeah!

  40. Terrifying headcam footage shows climbers risking their lives jumping a gap known as the ‘Leap Of Faith’ on 14,000ft Colorado mountain…..ntain.html
    Um, no. Just… no.

    1. You know, a lotta guys would clear away the ROCK!!

  41. Since we’re all in a Fed-bashing mood this morning, nice little summary of Keynesian/Monetarist clownery:

    For centuries, people living in Western Civilization have been accumulating capital. They have not simply subsisted, and left the world the same as when they entered it. They have been creating more than they consume, passing on new wealth to their children. The Fed’s falling interest rate has slammed this process into reverse. It has put the entire economy into liquidation mode. It has forced people to consume their capital.

    1. It’s time to go on the woman’s orgasm standard. When the average number of O’s starts slipping we loosen, it goes up and we tighten. We tried Keynesian, let’s try Kegelian.

    2. Au contrare, the Krugman thinks accumulated capital is a bad thing and in fact it’s what caused all these latest bubbles to burst.

      Whatever the precise mix of causes, what’s important now is that policy makers take seriously the possibility, I’d say probability, that excess savings and persistent global weakness is the new normal.

      “Yes, there’s too much capital saved up in the world! What consumption? I don’t see any. We don’t need any savings. Spend! Spend! Spend! Vote for higher taxes, then spend some more!”

      1. It is a brave new world.

      2. “The balance sheet may say we’re bankrupt, but our real problem is that we’re saving too much money!”

    3. They have been creating more than they consume, passing on new wealth to their children.

      Inequality! Something must be done!

      It has forced people to consume their capital.

      Woo hoo! Soon we’ll all be equally poor!

  42. Did they forget to put up a gun-free zone sign on the French train?

    1. There was one at the country border. The wards must not have been woven strongly enough.

  43. Rolling Stone Moves Beyond the Fray

    Jann Wenner said that he had listened to the business suggestions but decided they were not the wisest path. He feels that others leapt for the web too quickly, and that now was the correct time for an Internet push. And he said he disagreed with the notion that his thinking was dated. “Obviously the culture has evolved, but most of the same rules still apply,” he said. “Is it news? Is it interesting to a lot of people or not?”

    The solution, both Mr. Wenners said in interviews, is to stick with the magazine’s original values. “From Day 1, the mission was to cover rock ‘n’ roll music and all the ideas and stories that rock ‘n’ roll embraces,” Gus Wenner said. “I don’t think it has changed in the last 50 years, and I don’t think that will ever change.”

    The plan in the magazine’s 1970s heyday, said Joe Armstrong, its publisher and president during that period, “was to build Time-Life, do what Henry Luce did, but for a younger generation.” Rolling Stone was breaking new ground, and printing things others would not print, he said. “We were covering rock ‘n’ roll music when your parents liked orchestra music,” he said. “We were against the war in Vietnam, and everybody over 30 was for it. We were covering the drug culture. Nobody else was doing it.”

  44. Victorians go volcano-hunting in the days when explorers wore suits… and the only protective headgear was a parasol: Geology pioneer’s fascinating pictures 120 years before Instagram

    Volcano-chaser Tempest Anderson spent his life documenting eruptions
    Put his life in danger dozens of times to capture sensational photographs
    His collection of 5,000 images has finally been digitised for the public
    Embraced by the scientific community for his work on pyroclastic flows…..ation.html
    Cool pictures.

    1. The Super Adventure Club.

    2. Look at the last picture. There’s an archeological stash of items labeled as “Cruz the Teathuglican”. The Mayan calendar is coming full circle!

  45. “Stock markets around the world were down after the markets in China plunged. The Dow Jones is preparing for a sell-off today after a sharp drop Friday.”

    You know what’s dumber than looking at increasing temperatures from fall to summer and thinking that tells us something about global warming?

    We should all strongly resist the temptation to blame stock market corrections on Barack Obama.

    1. The stock market correction is preceding the election of a Republican to the White House. Duh. Obviously it’s the Republican’s fault.

      1. BOOOOOOOSH!!11!!!!11!!

        1. NO FAIR! HE’S ON OUR TEAM!

    2. I blame greed. I’ve heard he’s to blame.

    3. +1 Yomamma /or whatever Mike M sez

    4. I think it’s more like we’re ridiculing the Democrat partisans who attributed the market’s rise to the profound economic wisdom of Obama, Bernanke, and Yellen.

      The fact is that movements in stock prices are complex, and can seldom be attributed to a single cause unless there is catastrophe like 9/11 or the election of an ideological socialist.

      1. Um … what happens with the election of a mendacious fascist?

        1. Only one way to find one! #ScientificMethod

    1. E-4 Mafia? I’m missing some background on that joke. What is special about guys at E-4 (also what are they?)?

        1. the Lance Corporal Underground the E-4 Mafia

        2. Ah okay, that joke makes sense now.

      1. When I was enlisted infantry E-4 = “Pack Mule of the Army” as well…

  46. Huh, DOW down almost 900.

    “Oh no, Paul, stock market’s fine, we don’t know what you’re talking about! ”
    This shit’s been in the air for a long time.

    1. It’s been overinflated since the early 90s. It has a long way to fall.

      1. Yeah, I keep expecting something like this.

    2. now only down 700. Going to be interesting to watch the bears vs the bulls. Maybe some good buying opps out there – don’t know what though.

      1. and now only down 300…

        some interesting info here (warning: Zero Hedge)

        What Is Really Going On: Market Liquidity Worse Than During The Flash Crash

        1. and now 525. It’s like a rollercoaster – whee!

          1. I’m going to make a prediction – markets green by the end of the day.

            Or maybe not.

            1. *US Markets that is.

            2. So you’re saying it’ll go up, go down, or stay the same?

              1. exactly!

        2. Okay, can someone more wise in the way of stocks explain what that article is talking about (I’ll also accept links to where I can find the information). What are these stalls and circuit breakers he’s talking about? Why are they important?

          1. Shorter version: There are no buyers, except possibly some central banks. Fear is now in charge.

            1. Ah fun. I guess I should look into scraping some cash together to invest at a later date, and I thought I graduated at a bad time to take advantage of the downturn.

          2. The major market indices will halt trading for a period of time when they reach a certain move up or down. The idea is to try and artificially create a pause that will allow market participants to gather their thoughts and act ‘rationally’.

            The futures markets have limits up and down. For instance, oil futures were locked limit up every day for several weeks following the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait.

            There is no proof that they work and given that they are artificial constraints, likely don’t.

    3. Dow down 4.5%. It fell 23% in one day back in 1987.

      Just a little bump.

      1. Just a little bump

        (Says Peter Caca while stroking his lucky rabbit’s foot.)

          1. That’s on top of the dive the markets took last week.

        1. And the Dow fell 23% back in 1987 after Volcker had slammed on the money supply brake for years.



          1. I know you weren’t even born in 1987, so I’ll hook you up with some secret info on the 87 crash, which I remember well.

            The Feds didn’t respond by putting us $18,000,000,000,000 in debt and lowering interest rates to zero. Nor did it implement Cash 4 Clunkers or the ACA. So, that’s why 23% was just a bump in the road.

      2. Just a little bump…..

        You sound like Bernanke and Yellin leaning over a mirror.

        1. Down 1.7% now.

          Told you boys not to celebrate too early.

          1. 2.3% Enjoyed that little dead cat bounce, eh.

          2. Central banks are propping the markets at this point. They’ve got their buy programs in action.

  47. Hey, remember how Chinese autocracy was great for economics because they could just turn on the stimulus spigot or support their markets with massive government stock buys and thereby avoid any sort of market crash like those that occur in our decadent Western democracies?

    Thomas Friedman must be crying in a dark room this morning at the death of a dream.

    1. wrong something Top something Men

    2. Little Tommy has nothing left to do but stress-eat his beard.

    3. How could we forget? Autocracy can just pass a law repealing markets!

    4. No no no, he’s saying it’s just bad luck.

    5. No, but I do remember some morons trying to convince me of it.

    6. Thomas Friedman must be crying in a dark room this morning at the death of a dream.

      You seem to doubt the power of cognitive dissonance. It’s like a superpower for those people.

  48. On the bright side, Western markets appear to be stabilizing, although China is fucked. Chinese stocks fell 11% last week and 9% today. Largest plunge since 2007 and they’ve now wiped out their entire gains for 2015.

  49. Black Monday for Stock Markets

    Perhaps I missed it upthread, but it bears repeating anyway


  50. An accurate tweet explaining what is going on:

    Markets slump as world realises main growth engine in hands of incompetent, secretive police state that thinks it can dictate equity prices

    1. That about sums it up.

  51. I wonder how many non-recycled articles there will be between now and the PMS Lynx. One? Two? None?

    1. Whew….that’s tough.

      I’ll go with “zero” and take the under….


      It has been really shitty over the weekend. NICE JOB, REASON.


    Alabama builds army of mutant giant alagators to count the giant python threat from Florida.

    1. I smell an unintended consequence scenario that could be made into a movie.

      The pythons and alligators are forming an alliance and plan to attack…HUMANS!

      1. “Pythongator vs Octoshark!!!”

      2. When the alligators get to be a problem, we’ll bring in the genetically modified gorillas. By the time the gorillas get to be a problem, they all die come winter.

        1. “Westworld: Where Nothing Can Go Worng”

          Still my favorite movie tagline of all time. Yul Brynner was such and excellent badbot.

          1. A good and highly overlooked Yul Brynner post-apocalypse movie

            The Ultimate Warrior

            1. okay maybe not that good…

    2. I clicked on the 15 Child Stars Who Grew Up to Be Gorgeous link. Boy was that disappointing.

      1. I went for Another baseball fan injured by a foul ball because who can resist seeing another guy go from ripping on his own team’s players a quarter of a second ago to letting a ball fall right between his hands and taking it to the grill?

        You hit the link and it spins and then there’s something about a new diet and four sets of confusing arrows that may lead to a quiz about something…

        Sadly, it’s never worth it. It’s like walking out of a movie where the preview was actually much better than than the movie–and you think, “If only they made the movie in the preview, it would have been so much better”.

        It’s a fundamental question that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen adequately answered: Why does the payoff on clickbait always suck? Pr0n didn’t become a dominant force on the internet by NOT giving people a payoff. Why does clickbait always leave people disappointed? Usually, the problem is figuring out what people want. Clickbait has that figured out–so why not actually give us what we want?

        1. It is like socialists, they know what people eant, how to do that is a bit beyond them.

  53. Well, look here:
    “Garbage ‘patch’ is much worse than believed, entrepreneur says”…..460890.php
    An entrepreneur who is looking for gov’t money to ‘clean it up’, says that.

    Hmm, well:
    “Angelicque “Angel” White, an assistant oceanography professor, said this week that the size of the so-called “Great Pacific Garbage Patch” between California and Japan has been greatly exaggerated with “hyperbole” in the media.
    White also poohed-poohed other claims that oceans are “filled with more plastic than plankton.” And she debunked the Pacific garbage patch’s rate of growth, said by The New York Times in 2009 as doubling in size every decade.
    “There is no doubt that the amount of plastic in the world’s oceans is troubling, but this kind of exaggeration undermines the credibility of scientists,” White said in a statement.”…

    Which one gets air-play on TV and coverage in, oh, the NYT? Which one will Jack be linking soon?

    “We have data that allow us to make reasonable estimates; we don’t need the hyperbole.”

    1. exaggeration undermines the credibility of scientists

      Should be nailed to the heads of any aspiring scientists.

  54. I found a quote about the China crisis from Fortune Magazine that really shows the glory of Top Men planning your economy:

    Chinese stocks, supported by government policy and an estimated $800 billion in pledged government funds over the past two months, haven’t stopped their rush downwards. Shanghai stocks declined 11.5% last week, and are now 38% off their June peak. At that stage, they were up 60% since January and over 150% in the 13 months since the government had started actively recommending the stock market to mom-and-pop investors.

    So the government actively recommended mom and pop businesses get into the stock market which dutifully imploded a year later. Wonderful.

    1. China is a financial clusterfuck of the highest order. Their implosion is going to drag down all of the emerging markets and tank the oil industry.

    2. How much you wanna bet the army has been given orders to mobilize?

    3. At least they’re taking down the pensioners with them.…..ket-2015-6

  55. Meltdown on Wall Street

    As of 9:50 a.m., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 611 points, or 3.72% to 15853. The S&P 500 declined 73 points, or 3.74% to 1897, while the Nasdaq tumbled 197 points, or 4.22% to 4503.

    That’s 4% average on top of last week’s dive.

    In other news, Alan Greenspan warned about concerns that there’s a bubble forming in the bond market. And when the Wizard of Bubbles says he is concerned, we should be concerned. Or rather, YOU should be concerned.

    1. Wake me when it gets to 8%


    2. As a business owner that works out of his cash flow and savings and competes with highly leveraged national chains, I will enjoy some minor schadenfreude when their bonds go to shit.

    3. As a business owner that works out of his cash flow and savings and competes with highly leveraged national chains, I will enjoy some minor schadenfreude when their bonds go to shit.

      1. You can’t say this enough times.

  56. Worcester SWAT raids wrong house – cuffs naked Mom in front of her kids.…..dents-say/

    1. I wonder what software they’re using to find people’s addresses.

      I wonder if they’re using any software at all.

      Maybe they’re getting, like, written directions: Take a right on Elm, look for a house with a red truck in front of it, and if you see a laundry mat, then you’ve gone too far.

      1. software

        Yeah, I dunno – I was thinking “a person and a phonebook” would even be better than whatever they’re using.

        do any of the phone companies send out phonebooks any more? Someone must.


        1. Are you Sarah Connor?

          1. nice 🙂

    2. The DA’s office released a statement saying “The search warrant was executed based on the best intelligence at the time. He (the target) had been in the dwelling in the days before the execution of the search warrant.”
      Pineiro strongly disagrees.
      “It’s clear to me that the (district attorney’s) office is not going to look into what happened because he’s already giving the blessing they acted on the best intelligence, which is a complete joke,” he said.

      Procedures were followed. So what’s the problem, peasant?

      1. At some point, given the volume for these “mistakes”, the cops are going to take down the wrong house that can’t just be swept under the rug.

        As bad as kings’ men are, at least they consider themselves on the same team now. I’d hate to see what would happen if they saw each other as rival gangs.

        1. I don’t know. They burned a baby’s face off and got away with it. I have doubts that justice will be done without at least 20 more babies being incinerated. Or maybe only two incinerated babies if they’re black enough.

        2. At some point, given the volume for these “mistakes”, the cops are going to take down the wrong house that can’t just be swept under the rug.

          Drug squad cop reading: “Joe Doe? 1600 Pennsylvania Ave? yup, sounds right! Let’s take down this drug dealer!”.

      2. When that say ‘It’s OK. Procedures followed’, they are saying that its within procedural guidelines to break into innocent people’s homes and threaten them with guns, based on faulty evidence and lazy police work. And there’s not need to revise these procedures – they’re working just as intended.

      3. I suppose this is a tacit admission that the “best intelligence” of the police is pretty damned stupid.

  57. And Donald Trump continues churning out nonsensical pablum for the edification of populist morons:

    As I have long stated, we are so tied in with China and Asia that their markets are now taking the U.S. market down. Get smart U.S.A.

    Yeah! Let’s stop…trading with Asians?

    Reading Donald Trump’s cultist fans on his twitter page makes me think that Trump might actually be the most dangerous candidate I’ve ever seen. He’s a crazy authoritarian with fans who mindlessly adore him and who thinks we should stop allowing our markets to get intertwined with those in Asia.

    1. We agree on that Irish.

      Also yesterday he said that Secretariat was not really a great race horse.

      (really, he said that)

      1. We agree on that Buttplug.

        Trump is a fascist prick who thinks Snowden is a traitor rather than a hero of liberty.

        His whole pitch in Mobile was for the audience to support Trump because fuhrerprinzip. Ford wants to move to Mexico. Trump is going impose a 35% tariff. Mexicans want to enter the US. Trump is going to build a wall. China and Japan want to export goods to the US. Trump says no. He commands that Americans are going to build television sets. Arabs want to charge Americans a billion dollars per day for oil. Trump is going to take that oil. Iranians want access to $150 billion in their bank accounts. Trump would never give them that money.

        At no time did he speak about the role of Congress in doing any of these things. Trump said that Congress is weak and ineffectual, so his will must prevail over it to make America great again.

        And, the military. Trump claims to be the strongest advocate of the US military. He claims that he will fire ‘realistic’ general staff, and make the US military supreme, presumably by the triumph of his will.

        1. Perfect. You took the time to say it.

      2. Maybe he saw the new Horseman movie?

    2. His supporters remind me very much of Obama supporters. They emotionally connect with him. They assume he will kick the right asses. Like the woman saying “Obama’s gonna pay my mortgage and for my phone,” they think Trump will save them from their particular bogeymen.

      It’s nauseating and entertaining at the same time.

    3. You know who else had followers who mindlessly adored him….

        1. “Him” – I’ll allow it!

      1. Bernie Sanders?

      2. Bernie Sanders?

        1. Fuckin’ squirrels, man. Fuck.

      3. Back Street Boys?


    Williamson I thought was getting closer here – but you read the comments, and the Trumpettes are full Brown shirt. Nice Godwinning, Williamson!

    1. As with the case of Donald Trump in the United States, the Sweden Democrats illustrate that when responsible parties will not confront the issue of uncontrolled immigration, then irresponsible parties will.


      1. uncontrolled

        You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

        1. Tens of millions illegals is a good real-world definition of “uncontrolled.”

    2. the Trumpettes are full Brown shirt

      In the US, it was silver shirts

    3. If you don’t want Hitler, don’t create Weimar.

  59. The rise of the “solosexual”: How millennials are rewriting the rules of sexuality

    “There is a growing subculture of men who are finding that masturbation is the best sex of their lives. ? They are meeting each other online on sites such as or where masturbating on cam is the focus.”

    Someone needs to take a new poll.

    1. Is it really “solo” if you’re watching online?


    2. I hate how terrible some of these new words are. “Solosexual?” Why not “solonanist?” That word works in like 20 different ways.

      This is worse than the time Muslim hipsters had a Salon article where they called themselves ‘mipsters’ even though they clearly should have been calling themselves ‘Hiplamists.’

  60. Well, I was thinking about retiring in a couple years. Glad my plan does NOT include SS nor even my 401K. Those are “bonuses if they’re worth anything”….which at this point….

    OK, the 401K is not all that bad. I don’t want to summon any 1929 demons, so Ima stop talking about it….

    *throws salt over shoulder, avoids black cat [RACIST!!!!], steps around ladder*

  61. Retired 49er linebacker Chris Borland

    I tend to avoid ESPN at all costs, but this was a very good read.

    1. Want to do away with the brain damage? Go back to leather helmets, or get rid of the helmets completely a la rugby, and these morons will stop spearing overnight.

      1. That’ll never happen but you could just make tackles above the waist illegal – force everyone to wrap tackle.

        Of course, the league will never do that either since it is a lot less dramatic than high tackles.

      2. Mike has it.

        Notice that the “better” the helmets get, the more concussions we have?

        What they’ve learned, I think, is that concussions don’t necessarily come from the kind of blunt force that helmets are good for.

        They come from “shearing”, the kind of impact you get when you have a helmet, so you’re not keeping your head out of trouble.

      3. Let’s not go thinking Rugby is a panacea. It’s far better, but they still have problems with high tackles (these are punishable in themselves and they use video to do so) and many sub-concussions and outright concussions. I was watching an ITM Cup (New Zealand) game yesterday and a player was attempting to make a fairly routine tackle and he just got knocked the fuck out instantly and flopped hard to the ground, motionless. Now, he came out of it OK, but he was carted off out of precaution.

        One thing Rugby gets very, very right, is that they have a concussion protocol (often called the “head bin”) where a player will get taken to the locker room and will be examined by a specialist who has the sole decision about if the player may return. They do this anytime the referee has cause to suspect a player has had significant head contact leading him to be down for any period of time.

      4. Another thing they get right is that they outlaw what are called “shoulder charges”, which are tackles where a player attempts to simply hit a player as hard as possible without trying to actually wrap and tackle him, which is a very common thing in American football. Now, this is disadvantageous in Rugby in general, because in order for the opposition to have actually caused the offense to “stop”, they have to hold the ball-carrier in the tackle, i.e. they have to bring him down and hold him on the ground, which triggers the ruck, which obligates the ball-carrier to “release” the ball (whenever possible, in such a way that his own team only has access to it). So simply knocking someone over doesn’t do anything useful in the game context and a player may get up and keep going or offload the ball or any of a number of things. So wrapping is encouraged, and no-arm tackles are punished officially and are of little practical use.

  62. Surrendering a Birthright Ending citizenship by birth would be a terrible idea. By Steve Chapman

    Chapman makes the case that ending birthright citizenship would create an underclass of individuals (those born here from illegal immigrants plus their own children) with no country.

    My contention is that the idea is fundamentally more dangerous than that. Right now, what makes YOU a citizen is clearly and unequivocally defined in the Constitution. Ending birthright citizenship would mean granting the government a discretionary power which is to determine who is a citizen and who is not. Your status as someone who enjoys the protections and immunity guaranteed by the Constitution would just disappear overnight. No one has posited that question to either Trump or any of his admirers.

    1. Doesn’t the federal government already have that discretionary power? I mean, all they have to do is label someone an enemy combatant, and that person loses all of the protections of citizenship. Am I wrong?

      1. Re: sarcasmic,

        Doesn’t the federal government already have that discretionary power? I mean, all they have to do is label someone an enemy combatant, and that person loses all of the protections of citizenship. Am I wrong?

        The government is acting above the law when it makes that determination about American citizens, S, which is why it is not being systematic. Ending birthright citizenship would mean the government’s actions would be legitimized, rendering any objection meaningless.

        1. I see your argument. That makes sense.

      2. If you look at it as either/or it does. But ultimately, the government always has the power of FYTW and the guns to back it up.

    2. Yeah, I agree. Even if you believe that “anchor babies” are a real problem, ending the clear and simple definition of who is born a citizen would be a much bigger problem.

    1. Looks legit to me.

  63. Josh Jordan ?@NumbersMuncher 1h1 hour ago

    This kind of financial free fall would never happen under a Deez Nuts administration. #BlackMonday

    1. Since we’ve been assured that Obo was the cause of the equity market rise, can we therefore presume he’s the cause of the fall?


        All decreases are Bush’s fault! Duh!

      2. No, the fall occurred after the first Republican Primary Debate in which Trump, the presumed Republican nominee, won.

        The fall occurred in anticipation of a Trump Administration.


  64. Why does Google’s home page have a surfboard with Harriet Tubman on it today?

    1. I assume that it’s some bullshit holiday that Google has taken upon itself to inform us about.

    2. Today’s the anniversary of the eruption of Vesuvius, two different pillagings of Rome, the printing of the Gutenberg Bible, the English Act of Uniformity, the Burning of the White House, (ironically) the financial Panic of 1857, and more…yet Google chooses the birthday of a famous surfer for the front page!

  65. The stock market is too big to fail, so I say we buy it.

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